Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast Millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, it is Friday, which means we actually have gotten the team back together and we are here to celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community today, Miss Jess Gottria. She's going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We've got beck Saied on board to share her best to
broke tips. We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about Medicare rebates and we're going to be unpacking something you slid into our DMS about buying gifts in relationships, which I think can be a little bit of a fun topic. I can't wait to see what the community has said. But before we get there, Jessica, Hello, are you feeling better?
I am.
The flu knocked me for six, but that's okay. I'm back and better than ever.
My favorite thing about that is that you just were refusing to let it get you down. You were like, oh, can you jump on zoom? And I'm like, no, you need to go to bed. And You're like, I just really want to do this one thing. And I'm like, okay, no worries, let's do this one thing. And then I'm like, you look like you died. Go to bed.
I don't do well with not being able to do anything.
Yeah, no, I get that. I'm the same, But as your employer, I think it's important that I push you to go back to bed. It just feels so irresponsible to be on a zoom with someone who is unwell. I'm like, go to bed. It's very sweet of you. It's not even about the business. I just feel guilty.
Back, Yeah, that's fair.
Why are you doing this. Please, it doesn't matter. So you're better, You're back on board. This is very good.
Ed.
How has your week been? Did you like doing an episode without Jeff's I no, I.
Didn't like it. I ha out with you one on one good safe, But I love when the three of us.
I think the three of us make the episode. Yeah.
I think it's way better with Jesse here, so much better.
We just went broke. There was nobody to keep us in mind, tell us stop stopped. Well like block her out, block her out. But when you're on, mica into shape.
Yes, exactly, in a kind gentle way.
So we've had good weeks? Have we really good week? Good to hear. I'm very excited. Let's dive straight in. I really want to know, miss Jess. I got to do this last week and it was actually so much fun. I was kind of like, oh, hope just isn't around this week, so I get to do it again. But what were your favorite money wins and confessions from the community this week.
My first money win this week comes from Aaron, who said money win, I wanted cocktail glasses for my Tea Swizzle birthday party on Saturday.
Your GCE was a birthday.
Very tempted to buy the Kmart glasses, but sixteen dollars for four was a no. So I went to the op shop and I got six glasses for four dollars and another six for six dollars.
So she got you win twelve for ten dollars. Whoa, that's so good.
Good quick math ado not the fastest, but we got there, and well we did it.
We got there. Speaking about getting there, I really don't think my invite to the Tea Swizzle party got there? No?
What he again, Mustard must miss my inbox?
What do you think people? Do you dress up at a tea Swizzle birthday party?
Surely?
Yeah?
Sure, you pick your favorite error or your favorite outfit.
What's tea Swizzle?
Wait? Sorry, I was Are you done?
Ignore me?
Actually immediately you're both of your faces were kind of scary.
Do it?
Literally stopped and turned very slowly towards me.
I thought she was doing it, bade us. I did realize it was a bit.
I wish it was a bit.
Be yes, you literally work for a radio six swizzled tea Swizzle tea pain wrapping on the same track. Now we're talking about Taylor Swift definitely okase, she's onto it. You know what's slower than Chess's quick mass you what else you got?
Next, I've got a win from Karen, who said, after binging and starting my shoes and the money journey, I paid off my after pay.
Congrats and welcome to the family.
You know, I also figured out what I want to be when I grow up after a lifetime of being indecisive.
How cool.
That's actually the best win ever. That's a life win.
Yeah, and now I'm really curious, So Karen, please to prop back, please, Next, I've got a money win from a character.
Was it Karen? She wants to be the manager.
Car o n okay?
Oh, she wants to be She doesn't want to be the manager.
She doesn't want to be that.
She probably wants to be zoologist.
Something you fancy that.
Moving on, Next, money whin I've got is from Amanda, who said, I finally gave in and took my sixteen year old op shopping, walked out with a Robovac for fifty dollars.
That's a money win.
Purchased a replacement filter pack with new brush rollers and stuff for one hundred and now I'm the proud owner of what would have cost almost six hundred dollars for the same model.
That's a money wow. That is a great win. That is a great robot fact will change your life. My name's like my Robovac. Its name's Jeeves, and like Jeeves is quite dramatic.
But she remember we stuck googly eyes on it?
Yeah, like really big one was I meant to take them off.
I will find you.
There's a whole video of the Instagram.
Yeah, it's very funny.
I'll show you after next I've got a money win from Linda, who said I'm a third year nursing student and currently on my last placement. Parking at the hospital is expensive. There is a concession and student rate. Normally parking would cost twenty five dollars for eight hours. For
the public, concession is only eight. I also ended up getting free parking one day because my Apple pay got declined and I rang for assistance, and after what felt like five minutes of delay, the security guy just let me go.
Oh, that's a money win. But also, are you joking you as a baby nurse. No, but like you should not be paying for parking. You already are doing so many hours of unpaid work, and now you also have to pay for parking. You have to pay for the privilege in the bin. I have so many thoughts about that. We should do a whole episode, Jess about the system that I do not believe in paid unpaid sorry intern shep h unpaid placements because in twenty twenty three that
I knew there's such privilege in it. Like what if people want to become a nurse, but you moved out of home at sixteen and don't have the capacity to, you know, go and do unpaid work because it's just not within the breadth of your budget.
One hundred and twenty bucks.
If you're working five days a week just on parking.
That's insane.
That's insane, and you have to meet a certain amount of Anyway, we're not going to even get there.
Don't get on the rent off, get off the ranch train and save it for later.
That is not a deep dive episode, Victoria.
Next, I've got a money in from Brook who said I used shop back to buy two hundred dollars in vouchers for the Iconic as a gift to myself. Gen use shot back earnings entirely to pay for them, and then I made twenty bucks cash back on my purchase.
That's great.
Gamed the system incredible. And lastly, I have a money win from Natalie who said I took my parents out for Italian for Father's Day dinner. We didn't order dessert. We grabbed eighty cent macis cones on the drive home instead. Biggest serving ever. And I wanted to bring this to your attention because Natalie gave us a phone. It's chocolate and vanilla in one I'm sorry, what cool they do?
The tone?
Did anybody else know that this?
Know that?
I don't know where that is, either because the cones near my house or like a dollar So what in the money win?
I don't know, but I need someone to tell me.
Is this a thing?
But they now have chocolate soft serve and this has just gone above our heads.
Well, and this one is chocolate vanilla swelled together.
The ess is like I need them both. I don't just need a chocolate. Do you remember chocolate from Wendy's? Oh my god, Wendy's was so od. That was the best ice cream.
I don't know.
So you remember Wendy's the hot dogs?
Yes?
Yes, yes, they used to have like a soft serve machine, and it was like I think it was like I think it was marketed as like a diet ice cream chocolate. Yeah, we don't stand diet ice cream, but I think it was marketed as like a lower fat option and so like the mums are around it. But I was obsessed chocolate, full stop, end of story. I don't care how calories it does or doesn't have. Of like, I'm there for the chocolate soft serves.
Seriously incredible and that's my last money win for them.
I love that. Thank you for that. I feel like I'm inspired.
Drive through on the way home.
I mean, I am planning on getting some sneaky chippies because I deserve them.
You do.
Everybody deserves some sneaky mac Is chippy. Absolutely, They're not a money win though, Beck. Yes, what have you got this week for your broke tips?
Okay, strap in, Oh, actually nothing super exciting. I'm sorry to get your hopes up, but I would say very useful.
So that's the best kind of broke tip, let's be honest, best kind of broke tip.
My first broke tip for this week comes from Emily, who has said for those with babies, there are lots of free things to do with babies run by the library's council's community centers to take babies too, like sing time, playgroups, baby massage courses that are sometimes one hundred and.
Fifty dollars privately. That's kind of cool, is really cool. I didn't even know that was the thing. But you can alway because noone at this table has babies.
Yeah, exactly, but still for anyone listening who does have little babies, but basically the council pays for them. It's a great way to meet new parent friends or go with friends instead of going to a brunch or something that's more expensive. And it really smart to get out of the house while on parental leave when the money is often tight.
Yeah, because if you're on parental leave, you're either being unpaid, like you're maybe down to one income or have unpaid leave completely, or maybe you're like on half pay or something, and money is tight. And what you forget is that like nappies and baby basics are actually really expensive and do eat into your budget totally. Do you know a hack obviously complete side note a hack that one of my girlfriends did recently at a baby shower, and I
just thought it was so smart. So they didn't find out the gender they were having like a baby shower that was also the gender reveal, and they said, bring wipes if you think it's a boy, and bring nappies if you think it's a girl.
That's great.
So she like got to stock up on all these basics she actually needed instead of like six million qued outfits, which I guarantee she's already bought and I already bought for her, so she didn't need outfits, but she definitely needed nappies and she definitely needed wipes.
And I was like, yeah, that's very clever.
So that's my that's my input to the broke tip. I ask for what you need?
Is it ask for you need to exactly? You have a little registry.
I think that's smart.
I love that. My second broke tip this week comes from Nicole, who says, buy Wooly salads when they are on sale for once two dollars on Friday afternoons. They are still fine for a few days for lunches and dinners over the weekend and to start off your work week, and they are a quarter of the price as well, so that's pretty cool. I didn't even know they did that. Good to know what day?
Well, actually, yeah, to know that it's like a Friday. It might be different for different locations, but maybe have a snoop. Also, shopping close to nine pm when they do their mark downs is a good time.
Sweeping and gather the deals.
Do you know what else is really good that I've learned recently from TikTok. I feel like all I do is talk about TikTok on this podcast. This is basically she's on TikTok, not she's on the money. Is you can buy those cheap salad mixes, but if you get the coal slaw one, you can just use it in a stir FRYE. It's like fry based because obviously like cabbage and carrot and all of that stuff you put in a stir fry. Like, if it's so much down, there's your sturfry for real cheap.
That's clever.
Kay.
What have you got though? What's your actual broke tip? Because I feel like I've interrupted with a few sneaky ones this week.
Sorry not sorry, So my one for this week is have you guys heard of E Club? It's an app? No, it's like ad of it?
Yes, but I can't remember what they do. That's fair.
Sorry, Well, I actually hadn't heard of it, but my friend was telling me about how she went to. It's basically an app where you can search like locations around your restaurants, foody sort of places, and see what kind of deals they've got going on. You might be able to find a fifty percent off whole meal or whatever you've got. You have a little peruse on the app
if you're wanting to go out. It's more so like you're broke, but you're not too broke that you can't go out with mates, but you still want to not spend too much money. That's going to club, find what's around you, see what's cheap, see what's on special last minute deals, and you might find yourself a very cheap, affordable night out.
Love that now, I think that's genius. I am a little bit disappointed that you weren't going to tell us there was a club that existed purely for eating. Like there's chest Yeah, like just like Boots and all In. I mean we steal Boots and all In, just in a different way. The excitement is quite different.
Yeah, that's fair, but I.
Think that's really cool.
Yeah, it's really cool, so download it right now so.
You can just save money when you were already going to catch up and go out with friends.
Exactly.
Money in all right, let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, we have a juicier topic. And when I say juicy, I don't mean like juicy like a steak. No, I don't mean you see, like a steak. I mean like it's probably going to be a bit meaty. So I want to like leave enough time to talk about it because we're talking about Medicare rebates, and then we're also going to be unpacking a DM that you guys wanted us to chat about on the show.
This week. We're talking buying gifts in relationships. So don't go anywhere. We will be right back.
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hey, girls, I was just wondering if you understand the Medicare safety net threshold. I've currently just had an overwhelming amount of medical bills all come at the same time due to multiple injuries and illnesses, and you know, when it rains, it pause, it seems. But yeah, I'm just wondering if you know much about the Medicare safety net threshold and how I can and sort of try and get some money back or save where I can with all of these upcoming expenses such as specialists and GP
appointments and scans and everything like that. Thank you.
This is a good one to either of you know anything about the Medicare rebate thresholds.
I've literally never heard of it. But I do want to say that I hope that you're doing okay. But you sound stressed, and I can understand how if you've had a lot of health stuff going on, the last thing you want to be doing is thinking about your finances as well. So I just hope you're doing okay and that your health is sticking along.
All right, Yes, I do agree. I feel the same way. I hope that you're doing okay. I don't know if this is relevant, and obviously I don't have any advice at all. But if you use health engine or like hot doc or something, you can find bulk billing places around you. So I don't know if it's useful. I don't actually depends on what kind of appointment, who you're trying to see, etcetera, etcetera, but you can kind of like filter your search that way. That's it from me.
I feel like we should go to the expert in the room.
Oh great, I mean I had to look this up. I don't know what the thresholds are, but they're are a number of numbers we are going to discuss. So essentially, Medicare safety nets do have thresholds. So when you essentially spend a certain amount in gap and out of pocket costs on medical you're going to reach a threshold at some point. So once you've reached the threshold, you're actually going to start getting higher benefits from Medicare because they're like, oh,
stuff's really hitting the fan here. We need to give just a bit more help in this circumstance. And this means that you'll essentially get more money back from Medicare, So like that's a good thing. Yeah, I think I thought it would be the other way. I was going to say, you guys might have assumed that once you reach a threshold, it's going to get more expensive because
you're no longer covered. No, it's actually the opposite. A safety net exists to go, oh my gosh, you've been scooped up in an illness and this is all consuming and overwhelming. It's the government's way of going, we can't offer super super discounts to absolutely everybody, so we'll just
do the normal Medicare rebates for everybody. But if everything is going really badly and you reach your threshold, that then means that you're going to get a little bit of extra support, which is definitely well needed at that point in time. Right, It can be really confusing, and I think that that's where this question is coming from.
I don't know if you're coming from a position where you know once you hit that threshold it's going to actually ramp up what you get back, or if you're worried that a threshold means it's going to get more expensive. So That's why I wanted to kind of be like, this is what this means. So essentially, only verified payments contribute towards that threshold, So you'll have to talk to
Medicare about what that means and how that works. But essentially, you know, if you're just going to get a remedial massage down the road and you think that's going to contribute, it might not. It might be things like the PBS, so the Pharmaceutical Benefits scheme, so medications, you know, genuine hospital check ins. It might be very real things that are a bit more than a remedial massage. And I'm not saying that because they are definitely excluded. This is
something where please rely on the Medicare team. Call them, talk to them, give them a buzz and be like, what's this mean? What's included? How does it work? Like what happens when I hit the threshold? Like do we communicate that? How do I ask for more back? Obviously all of this is actually managed through your mygove portal online. We love, actually's on the money, the mygove portal because
it's just so easy to use. But if you haven't already set it up for Medicare, please do because it will enable you to make sure that for every appointment that you're getting, you're actually getting your cash back. And in a circumstance like this, you want to make sure that you know things aren't slipping through the cracks. And if you have a medical expense, and you know, the receptionist at the doctor's surgery said, oh, Beck, don't worry,
like we'll process the Medicare for you. What if it doesn't happen Like those small things can add up when you're going to the doctors all the time, and I mean they're usually pretty regular, but you do want to stay on top of it. So the amounts that are contributing towards the threshold they change on the first of January every single year. It's important to note that because I think a lot of people line up anything through their Mygove portal with tax you and just assume that, oh,
it must be mid year. It's not. It's the first of January each and every single year. And the twenty twenty three Medicare Safety Net thresholds are as follows, my friend. So the original Medicare Safety Net threshold or the OMSN, which would appear on the portals as is five hundred and thirty one dollars seventy who's at four. Absolutely everyone who uses Medicare counts towards the threshold your gap amount for the calendar year and what benefit are you going
to get. You're going to get one hundred percent of the scheduled fee for out of hospital services, so that's a bit of a money win. Then there's extended Medicare Safety Net, so that's when your fees start to really add up. So that's twenty four hundred and fourteen dollars. Again, that benefits everybody who's in Medicare. Everyone. When I say everyone who's in Medicare, that's usually Australian residents and Australian citizens.
If you're not an Australian resident or citizen, you might not have access to Medicare, and that's often one of the benefits of becoming a citizen of Australia rat So what contributes towards that your out of pocket amount for the calendar years, so again from the first of January and what are you going to get back? It then drops down, so then eighty percent of out of pocket costs or the EMSN benefit caps for out of hospital
services that obviously is going to change again. If you are on a concessional or family benefit tax that amount is seven hundred and seventy dollars and thirty cents And that's essentially for concession cardholders and families who are eligible for the Family Tax benefit Part A. Jessica, I know your eyes are glazed over. I'm sorry. This is really important. Again, the same thing contributes towards it, and that's eighty percent of the out of pocket costs of the EMSM benefits
caps for out of hospital services. So I think it's important to understand these caps and what they mean. Essentially, the safety nets exists to put you in the best possible position and make sure that you're a wi of when you'll be getting more money back for your Medicare services. I guess a Medicare benefit is the dollar amount that they pay when you make a claim for a medical service.
Usually it's between eighty five to one hundred percent of the scheduled fee, and a scheduled fee is the dollar amount that the Australian government sets That is not what your doctor charges though, so you need to be really clear on what the difference is so you know how we talk about like bulk billing versus not bulk billing. If the scheduled fee, let's just say, is one hundred dollars, but your doctor charges one hundred and fifty dollars, that doesn't cover the gap. So you need to be really
clear about that. And that's something where if your medical fees are starting to really add up. Something I would do is if you're seeing a GP or you're seeing a specialist regularly sit down and go, hey, this is getting really expensive. I'm going to have to consistently utilize your services. What can I do to either make my appointments a little bit shorter so that I'm not paying
as much? Like, is there you know a way that we can cut the small chat getting get out, I get the tests, maybe you email me scripts or something. What can we do or at what point are you able to bulk build me for this so that there isn't an out of pocket cost. I think in these circumstances it's really awful. It really sucks. But communication is
going to be the key. Communicate with your doctor and most of them are going to be pretty understanding because they know that during a period of time where you're really sick, you're probably not working that often, and things are going to be a little bit tighter because no one, you know, we've all got hopefully we've got or we're working towards, or we are aspiring to have emergency funds, but not many of us are going to have twenty five hundred bucks sitting in an account for when we
get sick, Like that's not that common. I know we've got, you know, maybe three months worth of our expenses, but we don't have three months worth of medical expenses. So I think it's just about making sure that we understand what our fees are. You can obviously search what a scheduled fee should be on their MSB, so that's all the website. You can access that through the MyGov website.
And actually, you know, every session in doctor's appointment will actually have what's called an item number, so you can look that item number up and see what that fee should be, and you could even negotiate with your doctor and go, hey, what can we do? How can this work? Like, you know, if things are getting really expensive, maybe transfer
to a different doctor who does bog bill. It's not the most helpful because obviously medical costs are something that you can't really get out of, but I think open clear communication where possible, building up your emergency fund so you're not so financially stressed and just putting yourself first. Again, this is a season, it is not forever, hopefully.
If you have more questions about medihair and if you qualify for those different caps or where you're sitting or the breakdown or anything like that, you can contact Services Australia directly on their website. You can email them, or you can call them and they should be able to answer your questions.
They have a very good website to be honest, just really clean, really clear. They'll you know, have a number of questions. Often I Google Service is Australia and then the question I have and it will automatically come up with the page that I'm looking for instead of like, you know, going through the whole website. But yeah, that's where I would be. I'm so sorry that you're not well and it's just a really not fun period to
be in. But the safety net is there to protect you and the best thing you can do is get in contact with Medicare and be like, at what point do I hit this how does this work, what happens when I go over it, what happens here, here, and here? And they're probably going to have some really helpful tips and tricks because they do this every day.
Sending lots of love. Yeah, that's very key.
Yeah, we hope you're all right. That sucks does all right, let's pivot. Let's move because there's no good segue from that. Let's move on to the other topic that we've got to talk about this week. You slid into our DMS about a spicy topic. I don't know if it's that spicy, but it's something we should definitely talk about. Because my partner and I are never on the same page about this. We try, we try again, and then we don't do anything about it. So we're talking this week about buying
gifts in relationships, and here's the DM we receive. Hello you, lovely people. I'm after your opinion on buying gifts and relationships. My partner buys me such extravagant gifts, but I don't spend nearly as much on them. They are more of a splash cash kind of person, whereas I'm a strict saver, whilst they are on a higher income It just doesn't sit right with my money values to spend so much on materialistic things, and I rather that they save their money.
But how am I meant to tell them that when they're trying to do something really lovely for me? It just makes me feel super guilty, and then I feel more pressure to spend more money on them. Do you think that introducing a spending limit for presents is a good idea in our relationship? I just don't want them to think that I'm ungrateful.
Hmmmm.
It's a tricky one.
It's a good topic thing, It's a really good topic. Like, first of all, does a couple share money? If not, Oh, that's a good question. Does our listener maybe make less than their partner or vice versa or whatever? You know what I mean? Like, does their spending habits directly impact the person who's writing to us? It doesn't say.
It doesn't say so.
That's through it gets a little bit tricky. It doesn't say any thing like not only that, let's say it doesn't impact at all this person's spending capabilities. If they're spending a lot of money on gifts, it's still at the end of the day, puts a lot of pressure on the other person who's not spending as much money. I've definitely been on the receiving end of extravagant gifts. Not to brag.
Or what's the most extravagant we need to go off on the side, yes, and I need to know.
I'm literally just I'm actually gonna just use me and I'm always using me and Live as an example, because we're like relationship in a relationship, but like you've actually like it, but we do hack like carently we'd make a real hot coup all though, will you well that would I think we're unfortunately not able to do that.
We don't see but you're like, we're friends and that's it, but thanks, we look hot toe.
I kind of feel like siblings at this point, but no, like, you know, Live makes a decent amount of money and is comfortable spending money for my birthday and if I'm
not really there, I literally have. Last year, I borrowed a thousand dollars from her so I could buy her a really good present and I feel like a little baby as was also like just for me to leave as well, so it was like kind of like I'm buying your presents also it's going to be a big weekend where we're going out and doing all these things. And also I don't have enough money to make it to the end of the pay cycle, so I just said send me. But yeah, so there have been times
that has happened. But we have put gift like limits on what we're giving each other because it does tend to get out of hand, Like if she spends two hundred dollars, I'll spend I love that you have a.
Friend that you just like love so much.
I don't know how this happened, but she's you know, she's my favorite person in the world anyway. But yeah, so we will tend to put like little caps on our gifts. Otherwise it makes the other person feel pressure to end up spending that much money, you know. So I guess that's maybe what you could do to have a little conversation about more how it's affecting your own like making you feel a little bit pressure to spend that much, you know what I mean.
Not that you're own grateful, it's just that you can't keep counting match it.
You can't match it, you don't want to or you don't want to.
Yeah, no, that's fair. I want to ask a perfect question. I know you and your partner semi share money like you do, but you don't, but you do, but you don't. Where's your present budget come from? Like is that individual or is that something that is shared costs?
Our only shared costs really are bills and groceries like things that we actually yes splitting, Like, we don't share money for other things. So gifts come out of our own budget and we always tend to like we've never spoken about it, but it's just always kind of been. We spend around the same amount of money on each other, and obviously the longer that we've dated, that budget has grown.
But so longer term relationships are more expensive.
From my serious, if we've been dating for three months, I'm not dropping.
The present that you have to get them for the wedding floor.
Yeah, seriously, I.
Will never financially recover from this so expensive.
So I think that it's going to vary coupled couple and how you manage your finances and your perspective on things. I guess the other thing to consider is like values as well. So, like we've spoken before about how like the and I, you and I are both like big gift givers. I love giving gifts, like that's a huge
value to me. Whereas this person it sounds like they don't care for it as much, like they appreciate the thought, they appreciate the effort, but it sounds like they're kind of saying, oh, like I don't really want them to spend that money, like I don't.
Care about it that much.
Whereas the person who's giving the gift, it might be to them they're going, oh, but I love you so much, I want to give you something because to me, this demonstrates to you how much I love you. So it's not even just about how you view it financially, but I think also like how you view it as an expression of love. YEA.
Love languages, Yeah, like conversation to go and we talk about it a lot, or we have historically talked about love languages a lot on the podcast, and I think it's important to discuss because they tie so deeply to finances. So obviously, like the gift giving thing, Yes, it can be a reflection of love, but it can also be something that's detrimental. Like you could be like Jess and I and love giving gifts but also have no gash for it, but still give gifts and then get yourself
into a financial pickle. I think if it was me, I would probably want to start where you're saying, yess, like understanding your love language. Like you know, you might be someone where a gift giving doesn't matter so much and your partner might actually still want to get you those expensive gifts. And I think that that's where a good conversation of like, oh, well, what is your love language?
Oh my gosh, you don't know, Beck, how we do this online survey and just see what your love language is and then we can have this that makes so much sense, yess as to why you always buy me beautiful gifts and why I'm always trying to make you tea and toast in the morning. So I think it's
it's understanding your relationship and where you're coming from. Because as much as you, I think this immediately goes to Okay, we probably should set a budget and you know, say, okay, Jesse, if I spend one hundred dollars on you, you can only
spend one hundred dollars on me. We'll call it that. Well, that might not work as well, because I might really want to get Jess a present, But Jess might really want to do this beautiful weekend that costs not much but has so much time and energy and thought and is all about spending personal time together. And that's where your values are. So I think if you're in a relationship, it's not tit for TAT. I don't think just because you spend one hundred dollars, I should spend one hundred dollars.
I think understanding your love language is so important. And you know, as I'm talking about this, I'm thinking about my relationship. I'm definitely a gift giver like that is I just really like it. It's really fun. Yeah, my husband is a quality time and active service kind of guy, Like I can guarantee that for my birthday, he'll be thinking of things he can do for me, not things he can buy for me. In fact, he never knows
what to get me. He's the first person to pop up in Jess's DMS, come close to you and like, Hey, what should I get for Tori. I've got no idea. But he'll always be like, Oh, I've taken the morning off work, I want to take you out for breakfast. I've made you a cup of tea. I've done all of these things and like, to him, that's his love language and I adore it. But I think really understanding that because you know, my love language and the love language I want to receive might be different to that.
And if there's a disconnect in that, then you go, oh, he always just throws money at the problem. He always just buys lots of big, expensive gifts when maybe you're not recognizing that that's actually his love language and that's the way that he sees, you know, showing you love. Sure, but you want to accept something different, and he actually needs to learn that so that he can show you love in a way that you really want to accept it.
They might not realize that it makes you uncomfortable either, because it sounds like from this message that the inability or the fact that you don't want to spend as much is putting you a bit on edge, which if your partner then realized that you were feeling that way, they then might feel bad.
So it's like a you need to talk, really, yeah, we need to have a.
Chat and work it out because as much as it you know, in this circumstance, it actually might be the best solution to set a budget for each of you because both of you have the same values and goals, and you're like, the I don't want to talk about this fluffy love language stuff doesn't make sense to us. I just want to cap dress out. One hundred bucks, yes on you, one hundred bucks on me, call it
a day. That's what we do for presents. That might be really good, But I think having these deeper, fluffy chats can actually lead to more wholesome outcomes. So yeah, we got that DM. We did ask the community a few questions. Do you want to hear what they had to say?
Always?
So, First we said how do you and your partner purchase gifts? Forty percent of you said, we set a number, so we spend the same amount. Sixty percent of you said, there's no limit. We spend as much as we feel is right. I'd be interested to know more about that that, like, if you spend whatever, what does that mean. The next question we asked was how would you feel if your partner spent more on you? Thirty nine percent of you said guilty, and then I feel a lot of pressure
to spend more on them. Sixty one percent of you though not guilty. That it's their choice.
That's kind of how I feel.
Get it, que But you chose this life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you chose to go to the shops and buy that that's not on me. I'm so glad you think I'll like it. But that doesn't not mean I'm spending five hundred bucks on you, because it's the thought that should count. Here's this card I made with texter.
I coupon for one free dinner with me.
Yes. I just assumed you were about to say one free foot massage, and I'm like, yes, I'm not that generous. So the next question we asked was do you think a spending limit is a good idea in a relationship. Eighty percent of you said yes, and then we asked for your two cents, as we always do, so here are some of the comments. One of you said, when I don't stick to mine, I actually end up feeling guilty and tend to feel guilty for a few weeks after. Do if you blow your budget on a friend, do
you feel guilty? I mean, if it was impacting my budget, I think I would.
Yeah, I'd feel stressed.
Yeah that's fair, I feel guilty. Yeah, that's fair. Someone else said we have the same goals, having just bought our first home. So this makes it so much easier if there is a limit. Someone said, no guilt and everything is fair. Someone else said, we're married. So some years we spend a lot because it's a big birthday. Other years are just token years and we don't spend a lot. That's a good way to view it as well.
That is good, come and go. The next year is my partner and I only set budgets for the big gifts like birthdays and Christmas. I don't get my partner presents any other times.
Just because little present anniversary.
I mean, what's a because present? Is that me going? You needed new jobs? So look how nice I am. I bought some because you're a male and I.
Just knew you wouldn't that's the thing. Or is it like, oh, I bought you your favorite lolli because I was doing the shopping and I thought you were Like, but then is that a gift?
Is that just that is?
Yeah?
I don't know, because I do that a lot. But I definitely am not the type of person that's like, oh, yes, Valentine is coming up, what are you getting your partner?
Yeah, we're not.
Getting a Valentine's gift from me, I already spent all my money buying heart shaped chocolate for my team.
Sat down, all right.
Someone else said, we have shared goals of saving for our future together, so it makes sense to have a set amount. Someone else said, we don't go over our shared gift for budgets. Someone said I am the primary income earner, so whatever he spends is actually my money.
I kind of love that if you share, if you share finances, that's the case too, right.
Yeah, I love it. Someone said someone's start to part one and part two, so part one spending limit, taking into account each other's financial positions at that time, and then part two says I'd rather get a twenty dollars present than a present that put my boyfriend in a stressful financial position over a present.
Amen, Amen, I really like it.
I also feel like i'd much prefer a present that just meant more.
Yeah, footful, write me a song, Oh, write me a whole right direct produce.
I would pay a lot for my husband not to do that, Like, oh, I can't think of anything worse than him singing or serenading to it. I'd be so awkward. Ud recoil someone said, we have a twenty dollars limit on Christmas gifts. It forces us to get very creative.
Yeah, I like that fun.
I think I've told you guys before that in our family, like Chris Kringle, we have handmade, second hand or homemade.
Oh I love us.
So you have to like either buy a second hand, make it in your kitchen or whatever, or like build something for them.
Very fun.
Yeah, So that puts a lot of pressure on it. And I had to start planning for Christmas in October because I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Someone the all said no, seriously, a limit only ends up starting fights, and there's just a lot of people with a lot of expectations. I'm a bit of the opinion that, yeah, an amount can actually just set a
realistic budget, especially if someone keeps going over. But if they keep going over on you, especially after you've had a conversation about a budget, I genuinely wouldn't worry too much. It might be because that's their love language and they just really love gifting new things, and we need to see. I don't think we should always feel guilty about accepting presents. Like sometimes it's really nice that someone thought of you, like that time and that energy and that effort to
put it together. Like Beck, I don't know if you've ever received a present from Jess, but they're the best.
Oh we did ones? Oh you did? You got these sensory toys.
Oh yeah, that's right. I more mean like a birthday present, like you don't just get Oh hey, I bought you this coffee mug because it reminded me of you. She might buy the coffee mug, but it comes like in a basket with other things and it's like decorated and has bow's and stuff. Like the effort is elite.
Friends with Jess Christmas would.
Yes, that's so excited.
I think that's all we have time for today. Guys. I've gotta go plan my Christmas present and we are going to see you on Monday. From Money Diary, have the best weekend, enjoy it all, and we'll see you then. Love you bye, guys.
Bye.
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