Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr
the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, a podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It is our favorite day of the week because I get to get my team together to celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community. Miss Jess Ricci, She's here to share our favorite money wins. Miss bechsay Ed is here
sharing hope broke tips. And we're going to be helping to answer a money dilemma, which this week is all about choosing between contributing to your super or saving for a home and something that you slid into our dms about whether you should still give a wedding gift if you've already spent a grand on being in the brinal party.
And said no.
Anyway, before I get into that and we get Jess's opinion, and I've thought no idea what it's going to be.
How are your weeks? My loves My Maek is really good.
I've started a new book series, and it's a fun thing where you know what a book series is really really good and you just carput it. I'm like carrying my kindle, I'm brushing my teeth Holt and I was curlling my hand this morning.
Read to me because I'm finally halfway through Iron Flame. Oh, well done? What the series?
So it's for everyone, and I do not have very high browd taste. It's a romanticy No, that's exactly what we want, so ruthless boys at the Zodiac. It's a spinoff from a series it's called Zodiac Academy, which, okay, I will say Zodiac Academy not the best written series I've ever read, but again I devoured it.
It was really good.
But this spinoff series, there's actually a lot of research to say, the more intelligent you are, the less low brow the comedy you enjoy.
Oh well, I must have a very good dread. Yes, yeah, we are so intelligent.
Yeah, but I'm like, literally my Kindle is in my bag right now. Every spare second I'm reading it. So it's it's just so fun. I'm not trolling on my phone. I'm just need it out a series. The only problem is I was up, like very late last night.
I did the same thing. It's actually our who are you reading? Literally I'm only halfway through Iron Flame?
You loving it?
Though?
Yeah?
Like I'm back into it, as I think most people who follow me on Instagram. No, I was really into that series and got quite frustrated when the series ended and the book wasn't coming out, and so like I literally pre ordered this book like it came out what was it, January?
So everybody has read.
This book already, and like, I have not read any other books this year.
Like I wish I could be like, oh my god, I've read like four books or what? No, not me? Not me, guys, like absolutely not.
My best friend read over one hundred books in twenty twenty four.
Harry. I think I'm on track. For that.
It's actually insane really, like as in that's inclined about that, right, that's like two full books at least a week.
Yeah, that's insane.
Right, one of these books in a day, but like completely possible if you are able to dedicate the time.
And I mean she's child free, so it must be no totally because I am now in May, still trying to get through one book that I bought in January.
So well, you know, while are you for sticking with thank you? I have tried my best.
It is really good, though, so I'm looking for more recommendations because I just like even the idea that I have my Kindle on me, Like, I just like that that's an option instead of like mindless scrolling totally. But I have to be really invested in the series, like I don't just it's like I can't be bothered wasting my time if the book isn't gripping me, like I just straight out, fair, straight out. So anyway, that's my story, Beck, how's your week?
It's been really really nice. I honestly, I wish I could tell you something juicy next Friday. If I don't have anything juicy, I'm gonna I'll make something up for you.
Goodness.
Actually, I've got something juicy and it involves you. I ran into your best friend at Kmart in Rosebud. Actually, yes, that was coincidental, and we were talking about what she was doing and she was sorry, live, but she was buying slippers for a love interest. She's like, I'm just gonna love Bomber and I was like, oh, that feels like a book, like a page straight out of a Begsited book. And she's like, I wrote that book. Like if you taught back how to love just to love a girls?
Yea.
Honestly, Jess and I talk about this all the time, like we honestly should just be lesbians because you guys are way cooler than us and the expectation in the bar by you has been set up here. What do you mean you just thought that the person that you're interested in would love a fluffy, cozy pair of slippers.
So you click and collected them. That is really would your partner? Ever? I don't think so, No, that's really it's just like, it's it's how.
We all like girls, your love language, it's how we do like even like if Victoria, if you said to me like I really want some handwarmers and and next time I see them, I'd be like, oh my god, I'll buy this.
For you know what I mean. Yeah, it's just like how.
We think and you feel like you're aware of and that's I like, that's is that how you say it? Just?
And do you like?
Growing up?
My dad used to be like, don't say me say I like it would be like confusing.
Just and me are going to the shops. He'd be like, Just and I are going to the shops. And now I don't even know which one's right. I know when you allow us me, I don't know. It's a great question. It's a great question, and I don't think anyone knows the answer.
So Just and I are very like that, yes with each other, but not with our partners.
Yes, yes, And that's the thing is so like if you have two women who are just naturally quite aware of the people around them and considering, and it just just so happens.
It's just like a very natural Orgaining straight is not a choice. I'm going to stand by that, you know, and not to say that some men are very the same, but you know, luckily I am.
But that's why we need our girlfriends exactly, isn't it just that's exactly why we need our girlfriends feel that side of life, to talk about our books together, to like talk about warm, fuzzy cozy slippers and do you know what, I'm nourished.
It's fine.
I'm not actually complaining actually a little bit MBS.
That does remind me my best friend moved to Melbourne finally. She was on the Peninsula and she's opening up a gay bar in Futry North.
But exciting.
But it was very exciting. So that's kind of like the only thing on my mind right now.
I'm just like yeah to the friends and of course, yeah.
Absolutely, it's a it's a safe space for well, I'm sure she'll has she opened it. Yeah, girls again, yes, exactly, exactly exactly when it does open, can we can we go and can we take some friends?
Absolutely lives bar. Do we know what it's going to be called? No? Nothing, we have no the update. You have to keep this like, yeah, everything she plans it.
Of course I'll keep you guys posted. But yeah, the name thing has really been stressed a lot of people out.
It's hard. It's hard. Business is hard.
Naming a bar is harder exactly, because you want to be like classy but not too classy, and you want it to be just one word easy. Yeah, something that will look nice on Instagram, you know the esthetics I already used. Sorry, oh silly, Yeah, okay, we'll go with Zella. Yeah, that's okay, say less.
All right, Well, would you guys like another five star review?
Because I have one this week?
We are seen Beck and I recorded in an episode the other day and at the end we said, could you please leave more reviews because they obviously push out algorithm and help new friends find us, which is working, guys, it's working. We're getting some new friends. But then I said you should also say really nice things about Beck, and Beck said, oh I hate But so.
We have one and it's all about you. Are you ready?
So close?
Star review from somebody who used the name is actually just numbers, so I'm not going to read.
That out perfect.
I love Beck, please, oh my god, never take Beck off the show. She's so relatable and always says what I'm thinking.
I love her. She's awesome.
Oh my god, that's the whole review by Oh my god, it's so nice. I really do love this and if I say that I don't.
I do.
I do get shy, but I really do love it.
Stop her your embodiment of you seen those videos going around for it'll be like I'm so shy, and it'll be someone doing something like crazy, like dancing on a bar or whatever.
Yes, yeah, yep.
Karaoke first, that is really sweet. Thank you so much. One, two, three, eight nine seven. I really that makes that very very sweet.
All right, Now moving into I guess the juice of the show, Jessica Cheek, You're going to share our favorite money wins.
What are they this week? Already? This week?
Firstly, I've got one from Christine who said she's paid her car loan off this week. Old heir would have used this as an excuse to upgrade and just take out another car loan, but educated her knows that her Toyota Corolla is going to last her forever and now she's got one hundred dollars a week to put towards paying off her credit card debt.
Instead that it's the mindset shift.
Yes, your whole mindset is shifting, and like that feels good, and especially when you're able to identify it, like sometimes you don't see that your mindset is changing, but she's seen it.
Well done, Queen.
Next, I've got a money win from Brianna, who said, money win. I've been away for twenty five days on holiday and during that time I had my roundups turned on my bank account. Totally forgot that she'd done it. All of the spending that they did while they were away on holidays left her with an additional five hundred and twenty dollars in her bank accounts.
Oh my goodness, it's cool. Also, how much spending were you doing? No judge? She turned on like a higher like yeah, five dog judgment.
Truly, I'm just like, ooh girl, like I have, like, I think, fifty cents.
A way to make it work for you. Next, I've got a money win from Olivia, who said, with Mother's Day coming up, my mom sent me a Pinterest post of some crochet potholders that she loved. Luckily for me, I already had a stash of crochet cotton in her favorite colors and the skills to match, so I whipped up a set of three for her the handmaid. They're personal, and best of all, they didn't cost me a cent. I love that's handmade gifts. I feel so fantastic.
Yes, we would like to put in an order for more of those Jess Biscuits.
Cookies. And they were very very good.
And this was what like two months ago at this point, and we still haven't.
Stopped talking honestly anything. A lot of animal like feelthy. I just hinke bye, and then I'm like, I like, you know, you get that food noise, and then my mouth orders and then I just it's.
Yeah, by do you guys like them? I'll definitely make you. But the crotch I think incredible.
Amazing, very well done, Olivia. And then last of this week, I've got money in from Angie, who said she saved up for a ticket to see a theater production of her favorite book at q Pak. She booked a bougie hotel for the night so she have to drive home from the city. It took her month to save up, but she said she's so excited to be a queen for a knight.
That is actually just sweep.
There is nothing like making an event out of like one thing. If you're going to go go all out, you know, because it's going to become a core memory.
And I think the theater is such a. I don't know what it is about's extra fancy seeing a player a musical. I go out and I'm like, oh, this is like a night on the town.
Yeah right, I feel right.
Even if you just get dumplings beforehand or something, or you're just like scoffing amusedly bar in your hotel room, Like, it just feels good.
It's fun to romanticide life and and you spends like five more minutes on your hair and makeup feel nice as well. Absolutely for saving up and for something you want, Like it's okay to spend on things.
One hundred percent. It is. It's about the journey, not just the destination. Totally. That's it for me.
This week Gorgeous Love Miss Beech sayed, what have you got when it comes to broke tips?
Yes, so okay. As usual, have two from the community and one of my own. So this first one comes from Lil. I think this is so clever, and I mean I don't I don't just like small businesses, but like maybe like bigger companies where it like doesn't really matter at all. This is what Lil says. This is super Povo, but f shipping prices, I'll spend over the minimum to get free postage, then return the unwanted items if you want to. If it's easy for you, you pay
with after pay. It doesn't cost too much upfront, and then when it's refunded, it kind of comes off after pay as well. So I think if you have the money to do that, and if it's not, because it's like sometimes like early nine.
Dollars you have to return it to you do have to return it.
But often like if it's like you know aceos or something that's double check.
They do free returns.
Yeah, yeah, double check they do free that's actually a good idea. Double check they do free returns because otherwise you're like, oh, good paying h In some places, I'll just.
Take it out of like your refund amount.
Yeah, totally, just I really wish and I know that this is like still paying for it, but just like build shipping into the price, Like, yeah, so it's a ten dollar item and you're charging me fifteen, but I get free shipping.
I feel like I've won. You've won.
Everyone's paying for their postage. I'm not trying to find a sneaky way around it, exactly, just gas like me.
This next one comes from Megan or Meghan, how.
Well, it depends because like different people might well exactly right, different exactly right annunciations.
Meghan says, sign up for free pet food samples on company websites. Example, Prime one hundred equals free pet food Prime one hundred, Prime one hundred, Yes, good one. If you can get free samples from them, cool, it's really really cool.
Loves.
So I would say, you don't even need a sample because I have the world's fussiest dog, but like, go get that because that's not cheap, Like Prime one hundred is not like some pedigree stuff that you can get supermarket, like it's the stuff that you can only get at the pet shop.
And it's annoying because it's like.
Good for them, but like good for them usually equals more expensive, and then your dog falls in love with it and you're trapped in a cycle of purchasing only.
That I don't even know cricket samples and stuff like that.
That's so it's nice until now you can also do that with and I notice because you know, I'm a gim Bro, so you like supplement new jim Bro samples and stuff like that, you can get them from certain website.
You're too nice to be a gym bro. That is really nice. Don't give vibes.
I'm so sorry. I'm so fine actually not allowing you to identify as that.
That's so fair.
It probably also is the lack of definition and muscle tone.
You are looking buff. And also, thank you, maybe you're just keeping your muscles.
Warm exactly him in an extra a little bit of up exactly we're going into.
You're strong as hell. That's the sexy part. That's really nice. Thank you so much. Oh my god, you guys. I feel so happy.
I'm calling her girlfriend Jess to let her know that I'm not, in fact hitting on.
Beck stating the truth. That's all. That's so sweet.
Well, thank you so much, and I hope you think this is hotter what I'm about. Okay, Yeah, I changed my brake pads over the weekend just because like that was like something I was going to do anyway.
But then I like googled because I was curious.
To know how much pads and it's like, yes.
Something like you could change your own break path.
And I tell you what, it is exceptionally easy. It depends what car you have, I think, but I just have like a little toyot Echo, So it's very easy for me. It's it's if you know how to change higher, you have immediate access to your brake pads.
It is while you're there, you may as well just do it. You know what I mean, You may as.
Well do it about changing if you if you like.
The annoying is when you watch like YouTube tutorials and stuff, they don't often give you like they'll just throw out words and you don't know what they need.
They do that in the finance community, yes exactly, Car Bros, Jim Brows Crazy Investing.
Yes, So if you are watching a video and you're like, I can physically see what they're doing, but they're using a term that I don't understand, message me and I'll run you through everything. But also the sorry, the main point of that was that the break pads cost me that just like it was four pads, it was like two for each front. Oh yeah, okay breaks and that was six nonsense.
I'm so just a super cheap order. Do you wander sixty two dollars?
Really, but at the mechanic it could be like two fifty, three hundred hundred exactly. So my broke tip is, let me know, and I'll tell you everything and then we can do this.
We're gonna learn together. We'll learn together. I'm obsessed with this and that's me for this week. I love that.
All right, let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, it's gonna get juicy. Guys, we are asking about whether you should be choosing between adding extra to your super or saving for a home. And then something that we've got no idea how Jess feels about, is whether you should still give a wedding gift if you've already spent more than next thousand dollars on being in the bridal party.
So don't go anywhere.
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The Sheese on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi guys, my question is around whether it is better to salary sacrifice into SUPER or put that money towards a home deposit. At the moment, I'm in a position within my career where I earn enough to comfortably afford to salary sacrifice into my SUPER and max it out every year. At the same time, I'm currently saving for a home deposit, and if I don't salary sacrifice into my SUPER, expect to have decent to pose it together within a year and could borrow a decent amount for
decent enough property. So my question is would it be better in the long run to max out SUPER knowing that it could potentially affect my borrowing power and delay my savings goal, or wait until I have purchased a property and then salary sacrifice into my SUPER. Thank you.
I have questions about where this information is coming from, because if you're saying that that would decrease your borrowing power to have more of an asset, I would politely disagree.
Maybe it's like the taxable income is lower if you cancellary sacrifice is before tax. Maybe that's what they mean, Like it looks like their taxtable income is lower.
I don't know if that makes sense. Doth sense? That just makes sense?
Okay? Well, interestingly enough, you're saying, and like, let's just say that you and I have had a chat. I need to make some assumptions to have this conversation very cleanly. So I sat down and this person is basically Jessic Artici. She wants to buy a house, doesn't matter, like that's just the goal, right. So we know you want to purchase a home, and you're saying, should I be doing
salary sacrificing into Super? The question I have for you is are you aware of the First Home Super Savior scheme?
Yeah?
It is a mouthful but a very cool program which means you can salary sacrifice into Super and then pull your money out after for your home deposit. And to me, it is a no brainer that you would put your money into a First Home Super Savior scheme to essentially get more of a deposit so that when it comes time to buy, like, you're ahead of the game. So, if I make an assumption that you are on what is known as the most popular marginal tax rate, which
in Australia at the moment is thirty percent, if you contributed. So, like, let's say that you contributed the max amount, So you're saying that you are contributed the max amount to Super already, like as in, you can cap it out because you've got cash flow, which is very sexy. The highest amount that you can contribute on an annual basis to the first Home Super Savior scheme SORR, it's mouthful, and I've just got a lot to get out is fifteen thousand
dollars a year annually. You can do that up to five years in a row, which means you could cap it out. But like, let's say that you do that over three years, so that means that over five years you could essentially contribute up to fifty thousand dollars, which is the cap of that scheme. So let's pretend that you earn one hundred thousand dollars, because you've told me that you have free cash flow, so I'm assuming you aren't on like fifty thousand, because like that would be tight.
So let's say that your salary sacrifice contribution so is taxed at fifteen percent inside the superannuation environment. So ten thousand dollars times fifteen percent is fifteen hundred dollars tax per year, and then your net contribution would be ten thousand minus fifteen hundred dollars, which is the tax that they cut off the top when it goes in is
eight and a half thousand dollars. But if you did that inside your savings account, that tax would actually be double because your marginal tax rate is thirty percent, so therefore it's three thousand dollars instead of fifteen hundred dollars, so you're able to contribute less. Right, So then if you'd saved annually like ten thousand dollars outside of super you'd actually be left with seven grand each year instead
of eight and a half. So you're going to get well bang for your buck by putting it into the First Home Super Savior scheme. And over five years, seven thousand dollars times five is thirty five thousand dollars, which is actually seven and a half thousand dollars less than
if you'd use the First Home Super Savior scheme. And I'm pretty sure that if I asked any person purchasing their first time Jess jessic Ricci, would you like seven and a half thousand dollars of free money by following scheme while saving for your first home, say less like it is a smart scheme that puts you in the right position. I would actually be also speaking to a mortgage broker because it sounds like you have really high
cash flow. You're conflicted about whether you should be adding more superannuation or you should be saving for your first home. Get a plan like go speak to a broker, work out what your borrowing capacity is, what type of deposit you actually need, and all of that, because then once your mortgage broker says okay, well again, I'm going to use Jessica as an example, because I can't give personal advice, just sits.
Down and says okay cool.
Like I've worked out that, you know, this amount of money needs to go to my house deposit each month, but I actually have one hundred dollars extra now to quote play with, and I could decide that that goes into my house deposit or it could go into SUPER. You can choose whether you want to put it into your house deposit to get into the property mark quicker, or you could put it into SUPER knowing that it doesn't impact your ability to get into your dream home.
Does that make sense? Yeah, jess what are your plans? So I did I have used that scheme, I've capped it out.
Ah.
I think it's a great one. Yes, somebody who suggested that that you're so smart, so clever.
I believe that if you were salary sacrificing the cap without the intention of using the scheme, because you can also do that without salary sacrificing. You can make post tax contributions as well. But I believe if you were just salary sacrificing into SUPER without using this scheme, the amount you can contribute is higher, So the amount you could potentially reduce your.
Taxable income by is higher.
So it also depends, I guess, on what your goals are specifically, because as you said, for me, it's all about the house deposit, Like that's where my priority is, Like all of my spare money is pretty much going into that deposit, Like that's where all my funds are being funneled. But I do understand that there are in addition to the tax benefits, there's the compounding benefits as well within Super, but you can also invest outside of SUPER as well. That's also an option if you want
to take advantage of that. My personal take on it is a year is not that long of a time.
If you're saying no, you can kind of use fifteen thousand dollars worth of the first Home super Savior scheme as well. Yes, or if you're smart, sorry to jump in here. Finance May. Yeah, yeah, it's May, and it is yeah exactly. It is the financial year. So if it's May, you could put fifteen thousand dollars in today and then come July the first you could put another fifteen thousand dollars in, thus making it in a calendar
year thirty thousand dollars. But in each financial year you've only done fifteen thousand.
Yes, totally, So I think, like to me, a year is not that long to pursue one goal really strongly. If you want to get into the house, you said you could have your deposit within a year.
That's crazy and also really cool, really impressive.
My inclination would probably be to pursue that, utilizing the scheme knowing that I'm getting the you know, some tax benefits, but you also have to be aware that you know that money is impacted within the super in the same way that the share market is. So we've seen a lot of volatility you know, recently with all the stuff going on in.
The US wild also something I guess to keep in mind as.
Well, totally, And I feel like that's I guess it's so hard to say, Okay, well you should do this or this my best advice. Honestly, go talk to a mortgage broker. If you're buying within the next year. They want to talk to you now anyway. They want to prep you, make sure that you're using the First Home Super Savor scheme. They want to make sure that if there are any grants or schemes that we can apply for,
we're getting you in the door on that asap. Because some grants and some schemes are capped, so they only have, like you know, a couple of thousand people able to use them. Therefore, I want to get your name on that list asap. Like twelve months is not that long of a period of time, So like, start having those conversations now, because they're going to give you a cash flow. They're going to help you be in the best possible position.
Any other additional thoughts before we talk about wedding drummer, No, I was just going to say, why not both It seems like this book can lost us like this money coming in, does it have to be or the other?
You know what I mean? I wonder if they can.
Split a little goal out. That's a good point, Like you could take taking a year to save your house. To us, it take two years maybe, and yeah, double dip that's what I'm thinking. It doesn't have to be because Super is very hard to can be very hard to access even if you have, like you know this for some Super saber scheme thing going on. I had worked in Super before, and I just know it's like
so much paperwork. So it's like if you split it right down the middle, then you have access freely to one.
And also the other. But just without fair question, you would you like would you like some juicy wedding gossip? Yes? Please?
Okay, So the DM we got this week is giving all right, Hey, she's.
On the money. I need the community's opinion on this.
So my husband's in the groom's party for his mate's wedding, and it's already cost us so much like the suit Bucks night travel accommodation, not to mention all the time we've given with organizing and running around. Now the wedding's finally here, and he wants us to give to them a gift too, And I'm like, didn't we already give them enough? I know giving a present is the thing people do, but we've spent more than a thousand dollars already just for him to be a part of the wedding.
I don't think we should have to give anything else. He reckons it's really rude not to, But like, do people actually give a wedding gift after spending so much money already? Or am I just being tight?
What would you do? Mm?
I don't think a gift is necessary, but I also have I'm very lucky to have friends that are not super traditional. So I guess if I was going to a more traditional wedding and I wasn't like super good friends with these people. It sounds like they are good friends because they're in the bridle and groom party, But yeah,
I just couldn't. I just wouldn't, Like, I don't even some people don't have that much money to spend anyway, Like if you're invited into like a bridal party or insanity can be very anxiety inducing being like, oh my god, now I've got to spend all this money that I it just was not.
In my future. It was not in my plan.
You have maybe you have every single thing lined up, and any kind of like hump in the road or whatever, like you're just not prepared for that. And then as soon as a friend of yours is like would you be my maid of honor or my groomsman.
Or something, and like it can be very anxiety inducing.
You might just literally physically not have the money to even be part of that, but so you are, and you do spend.
All this money.
I don't think a gift is necessary. I don't think a gift is ever necessary, even if you're not in the bridle or groom party. Just do whatever you can afford. Like, if you go and you literally can, all you can afford is a card, Just do that.
I think a card is really nice, right, I just don't think you're putting wishing well, even just putting a card in with like your thoughts, don't like write to Victoria from back, like that doesn't mean all that much, but like put some nice thoughts.
I would much prefer that thing. Same.
Yeah, absolutely, I don't think we should be forcing This isn't even just like suggesting.
It's like weddings. Wild weddings are insane.
Yeah, it's almost you're almost forcing your friends to spend money that they might literally not have. Like sometimes they have twelve dollars to my name in total, And if I had a wedding to go do that same weekend, I would just be screwed.
There's no money there. What can I do?
You know, you either get alone, you go into dead what do you do? You just should not be putting that pressure on people. Absolutely, you don't have to bring back I also don't know, you don't know.
I don't think a gift is necessary in no way, Jess, what are you doing?
Oh?
I completely agree when you said I don't think a gift is necessary.
Ever, I feel like that's such a true statement. And I know that you're having a wedding to get gifts. Yeah, And I know.
That there's cultural standards, yes, you know you have to consider as well and things like that. But I think particularly the expectation now in pre wedding activities, you know, the bridle shower, the hens, the bucks, like, there's so many things, so many opportunities, like it can be quite hard to participate in all of them. I love when people say, your presence is the present. Like, to me, a wedding is about celebrating two people's life gifts. Nope,
there's no little ASTs. Get the It's just two people coming together. Well on whatever scale that is, whether it's a courthouse wedding and you meet friends for a picnic in the garden afterwards, whether you have a wedding with a one hundred people there or two.
Hundred point is it's about two people falling in love and solidifying that.
Yeah, And I understand that we want to celebrate that. And for those of us gift, a lot of your gifting is our love language. And I totally get that perspective, but I think we need to step away a little bit from the expectation that it's about.
Anything more than just love. It's the two.
People coming together to celebrate and be like, we're in love. We want you to share that love. In my mind, that's where the expectation should end. And I know that there's like the standard of you know, you cover your siegs or blah blahlah blah. I don't love that.
I've had friends, they've had wishing wells.
Of course we've contributed, but I don't love it because it does feel it.
I think the important thing to caveat here is I know that there are a lot of cultural differenceferences as well.
Like right now we are talking assuming that this person doesn't have any of those cultural overlays of like, oh no, there is the expectation that you'd givet cash or you'd do this or that, because I'm assuming they would have disclosed that to us in the letter in right, So I'm just assuming that this is a very standard way of doing things, and when it comes to the cultural side of things, hop off, like, I think that is fantastic, And you, guys, honor a wedding in the way that
makes sense to you. We're just talking about it, and I would say the most Western way, like is that fair to say, because I don't want people going, oh well, it's actually good luck for us to gift money or actually that's a part of our culture and you have to do a gift otherwise it's xyz Like totally, that's a different conversation I think than a bride being like I expect a wedding gift. If you're coming to my wedding after spending one thousand dollars, be there we see.
And even the expectation that you've had to spend thousand dollars ahead of time, I think is pretty crazy.
It's a huge.
Expectation to put on someone. I know that there have been many yeo and friends of mine have got married that if that was the expectation on me, like I wouldn't have been able to particip No.
Yeah, absolutely, And like, I'm going to be really spicy here because I've always been like, oh, it's your wedding, it's your values. Like I have had a wedding, and I am a firm believer that your bridal party should never pay a cent to be your barridor party. They are there to support you. If you want them wearing a particular dress, you buy it. You want them to be wearing a particular pair of shoes, that is on you,
as the bride and groom, to purchase it. And if like this is going to sound real spicy, and I don't even mind. If you cannot afford to clothe and pay for all of the expenses of your bridal party, you cannot afford to have a bridal party, full stop, end of story. I find it insane to think that I might turn around to Jess and be like, Jess, I'd love you to be a part of my wedding to celebrate only me and my husband.
And that's actually going to cost you one.
Thousand dollars to just participate because I don't know. I think after having had my wedding and then having had so many conversations about this, and like I know of a girl who got married and had been going around communicating that she's had a more expensive wedding because she expects all of her family and friends to contribute generously.
To the wishing well and that would then cover the wedding. That's crazy.
I think that is insane behavior, like actually insane to be putting your financial burdens as a responsibility onto your family and friends. So like, I know that that's not going to go down well with a lot of people, but genuinely, if you cannot afford to pay for all of the expenses of your bridal party, don't have one.
Yeah yeah, or like those ways, you know, like the dress thing, Like I love it when I see weddings where everyone's worn like one of their own dresses, Like can everyone wear you know, if you all have a blue dress, like is that something everyone has. Can you all wear your favorite blue dress? Well, you know, there's ways to do it it It doesn't put the pressure on.
But I think a lot of weddings, and it's probably with the rise of social media, but a lot of it feels very like almost like keeping up with people, one upping people, like, very performative, almost not to diminish, like anyone who's had a big, beautiful wedding, Like I know Victoria wedding.
Was no, no, no, My wedding was over the top. Beck.
It was insane and I regret not one part of that, but the entire thing we had because that's what Steve and I wanted, and like I was, like, I posted about it online, but like I think, Jess, you were there, we didn't post most of the wedding online.
Because it wasn't actually about that. It wasn't about what it looked like.
But now I'm like looking back and going, oh my god, like we spent so much money on that.
Do people think that that was performative? Oh my god?
No, it so that people like Jess and you know, if I had known you at the time, that you could have had a bomb time at my wedding because I wanted guests to walk away being like, oh, you had the best time.
Yes, I think we achieved that absolutely, And I think like ultimately, the craxit I think is if they're your friends, I would hope that they're not going to hold it against you if you don't get them a gift.
Like that's eraise. Don't treat friends that way. They're they're they're there to celebrate their love.
They want you to be a part of that because you're obviously a very special person in their life. And so my thought would be that there's no pressure or expectation on you to give them anything above and beyond your your presence.
What did everybody else? Oh my god, oh god, so juicy? Sit down strap in. We asked a few questions.
First, as always, we said, if you already spent heaps to be in the wedding, should you still give a gift? Twenty one percent of you said yep, of course. Twenty three percent of you said no, being in the wedding party is enough, twenty percent said it depends on what we have spent, and then thirty six percent of you said I would give something small. Wed then even split pretty across the board. That's not where it gets spicy. We then said, would you feel rude turning up without
a gift? Of you said only if I'd already done so much. Nineteen percent of you said Nope, gifts shouldn't be expected, twenty percent said depends on how close we were. Fifty one percent of you said, yep, I couldn't turn up to a wedding without one.
I get the anxiety, I.
Get it, But there you show up and the people aren't even there yet, Like I feel like you could definitely get away with like no one's seeing you walking with that.
Shows up after you.
Un ethical money hack put a card on the table gift table that mentions in the card hope you love the gift.
We put a lot of.
Thought into it, and then they won't know which gift you got and cards fall off things all the time.
That's very true. Don't do that.
That's terrible advice from an ex financial advisor. But we also said to the community, what is your two cents? First cab off the rank. A gift can be sentimental and doesn't have to cost anything at all. So I think that that's very beckcoded because I think that you would turn up to a wedding with a gift, but it doesn't necessarily have to be cash or money or
cloch love hard one hundred percent. There's a lot of clapping hand emojis in this, so I'm not going to read all of those out, but in between each word is a clapping emoji. So don't have bridal parties you can't afford.
To pay for. That's it. That's it. Copycut.
Okay, the next person said weddings are money sucks.
Give them fifty bucks. I mean it's true.
Somebody else said, and this is a two parter. I spent two grand total being in a friend's wedding, and now we barely speak because I actually can't get past it.
I'm actually paying.
For my entire hands party weekend because of this, so nobody else is out.
That's two thousand dollars. It's just such a staggering amount.
I know, for something you don't you didn't have any control over. For me, it's the same as getting into a car accident and your friend asking you to be in the bridal party. I'm like, wow, here's this huge, unexpected cost I didn't prepare for.
It's no not like actually.
Wild right, And I keep bringing this back to me. I think because I've had a wedding. But also I'm a finance person, like I was a financial advisor. I talk about money all the time. I run cheese on
the money. And when I was starting to plan my wedding, one of the first conversations I had with my husband was like, hey, like, I don't think we've seen any of our friends do this, because like my husband had been in Upplothora of bridal parties before groom's parties or whatever we want to call them, and like, so would I, and we'd all paid for it, and like I'd actually never held a grudge. So like, just to be very clear, if I was in your bridal party and you asked
me to pay, I don't feel bad. But then my opinion is very different to like the facilitation of that, right, like you ask me, I'm actually willing to do that.
That's fine, no skin off my back.
But when it came to my wedding, I sat down and said to my husband, our bridal party doesn't lift a finger like they do not like they're there for us. They do not spend a cent like on their suits, their makeup, on their shoes, and I even paid so much for my own Hens weekends and Hen's trips that we went on because I was like, I'm not having other people pay for something that I'm getting, Like, yeah, hopefully they enjoyed it, but like this was for me,
Like this wasn't for anybody else. Yeah, So for me, I was just very adamant that the money would come from me. And my idea on that was that if I couldn't afford it, we wouldn't be doing those things. Because if you can't afford it, why would your friends be able.
To afford it?
And people don't love you less because they don't have that money to give you.
Absolutely not.
Another comment was something needs to give with weddings. It's not actually realistic in twenty twenty five to do this any longer. Yeah, on the entire financial landscape has changed, so that is so true. Another person said, you don't have to accept being in the wedding party and you can always set boundaries on finance.
Which is true.
But like if your best friend or someone you're so close with is I would love for you to stand by me on arguably the most important day of my life.
It's a big question. Yeah, yes, and that's so beautiful.
It doesn't all come back to finances, which is why, Like there's a split between me going if somebody asked me to be part of their bridal party and I had to pay, no grudge. But I'm very much of the opinion that if you want to speak from a financial perspective, that should not be the burden of the people participating. Yes, another person, I'm going to do two more. Another person said, why do hens and bucks have to
be so extravagant these days? What is wrong with a simple afternoon or night out with the boys?
Totally?
Another person and this is the last You will never regret giving a gift. You may end up regretting not giving one, though you can give one later.
Yeah, that's true.
Also bonus one. Someone said, make a loping great again.
Honestly, yes, here for it.
Oh please, Like, if anybody wants to get married Elope, y, Elope.
Go to the courthouse and then have a dinner with your family and practice.
I think just to look turn up one day Jess and be like, by the way, I'm married?
Why not? Absolutely? I love it.
Anyway, guys, it has been a good little chat. What a good Friday episode Gordous So we'll see you guys bride and early on Monday morning for our money, Darien, have the best weekend by guys.
Bye.
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of Money. Sheper Pty Ltd ABN three two one is six four nine two seven seven zero eight af I sell four five one two eight nine mm hmm