Should You Remortgage? Plus, a Wedding Guest List Drama

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite day of the week because we get our team together and we celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community. It's just Greachy is here as always sharing our favorite money wins. Beck is here sharing her broke tips, and we're going to be helping to answer money dilemma this week. It's all about whether you should re mortgage to get

Happy onyx Storm release week to everybody.

So bad, Like, oh my goodness. I feel like those two books got me back into reading. Like I read the first one and I was like, oh, that's pretty good. And then I think it was you and you were like, have you read the sequel? And I was like, sorry, a sequel to a book I loved? Say less no, no, but yes.

So for Becc and anyone who doesn't know, there's a series of books called Fourth Wing. They are in the Romanticy. Remember me probably about a year ago, being like I want book recommendations, no smut, and now I'm.

Like, give me this. It is actually the funniest thing. Just like I don't think I'm into it, and I was like, I think you are.

You know you know what I realized I don't want smart for smut's sake. It has to be.

It's part of the story.

I'm part of, like because people have sex, right, so it's like when it do that shockingly, how you pro create? When it's part I like it anyway. So it's there's two books that are out already. It's Fantasy Romantic Dragons, very good.

I've got Fourth Wing and then you've got Iron Flame. And both of them were good books.

Yes, and I only read them. So I only read these books like this month, so I haven't had to.

Wasn't even you. It must have been Brooke who was having this conversation with me. Yes, it was Brooks. She recommended this book to me. I was like, great, thanks, It got me back into reading. So then she said that there was a sequel and I was like, say less, I cannot wait to read this. Got to the end of it and was like, oh, it's a trilogy. Fantastic because it said at the back that what was it onyx Storm is next. And then I'm like, great, I'll go on my Kindle. I'll purchase that Live Lovelf.

Not ready out and it was months. Yeah, the girls have been waiting about a year, I think, and it came out on Tuesday.

I had it on pre order. Girl, it is going to be on my kindle already waiting for me when I have a moment. I read it in like two days. Wait, so great week, Great week. Jess has been reading smart this week? Is the Stmary of that conversation. Yes, how are you? I can tell, I can tell.

She's glowing, good week, settled into new home. Just you know, honestly, nothing that is super noteworthy.

Nothing.

There absolutely is next week anniversary. Oh no, oh, no, you go, you go. It's about you, babe. You came into the office or you came into the studio carrying a coffee. Yes, no, tell me about the coffee situation because I'm really proud of you. Think you.

I've just got like a seven buck French press from Kmart. Yeah, and I well, I told myself that I can't buy coffee, and usually on my own I cannot stick to something. So I've written like a thing to my best friend. It's a contract that says if I break this contract, I owe you a thousand dollars.

Okay, I didn't realize it was that dramatic because Beck is a chronic coffee goal. I showed the cafe like totally system. Yes, and now you're making three or four a day.

Yes. There are several things in this contract like must exercise X amount of times for a week. I must do thirty minutes exercise before I can vape every day, which is a bignored at the end of it, which is like something you need when you're trying to build a habit, reward and something something, something, I don't know what.

I would argue that using the vapors the reward is reinforcing.

I know it's silly, but it's like the only thing that will help me stick to it. So this is this is the thing. So I haven't brought coffee in weeks, weeks. I don't know how much to say it, probably not much yet.

But I am so impressed. Can you do something for me? Absolutely? Oh that's so nice, even asking no. Can you set up an automatic direct debit because I know that you were buying like four coffees a day. You were buying at least four because like our senior budget, babe, I've seen it senior spending, I know, and that's no judgment, but can you transfer the amount of two coffees like just set up a direct debit for the cost of two coffees every day into a savings account. I do

I know have been locking my accounts now actually, which is maybe there's other banks, but I'm you're not.

On your Chazy's app too, so I know you're so you could like have a direct debit for investing. Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes, busy, busy. We had our Australian Open live show last week which was really really cool and I feel like I'm so riding that high. It has been so busy. I feel like I'm just so excited to be back at work, Like I've been going into the office and I only go into like the Zella offices once or twice a week. At the moment, I just I want to be in

A fun time. Yes, that's so cool.

Yeah.

She rad the high with the five star review one hundred.

All right, so this one is from Ashley Atkinson and she said five stars. I am obsessed with She's on the Money. I listen every day on my commute to work. I feel completely aligned to their mission of empowering women to get financial freedom. I open up the topic of finance in my own team and recently helped a twenty six year old into her first home, which she didn't even think was possible from her background. That is the ripple effect of the She's on the money women empowering

Really?

What do you mean you then helped somebody else buy their first home and they didn't even think that was possible until you shared it. That is really cool.

She's on the money disciples. They're doing this anything.

This is a pyramid scheme I can get behind. I said something and then you shed it, and then you shared it with somebody else.

Stay less, someone's talking incredible.

Say less. Welcome to the cult, baby, all right, Miss Jess agree, she's speaking of our cult. What money wins if they got this week already?

Firstly, you have one from cult member.

Tay who said, money win. We'll subday.

Due to my water company not mailing my bills to my correct address for the past three years, we landed ourselves a massive bill. I rang them and complained as this was their fault for not delivering the bills to the correct place, and they halved it.

Saved yourself over seventeen hundred dollars. Also, how are they sending it to the wrong address? Like what the dress is using the water?

And then Sharon jumped in with a comment underneath and said, from memory, they can only charge you the past twelve months of fees when this happens. She did, they do some research, but you might be entitled to more of a cut.

So good. Yeah, it's like it's half I feel like they should baby do okay, but that's that actually a sleigh into it, like saying, oh, by the way, because do you know what you could do? You don't even need to do the research. You can call the water company because I can almost guarantee they would record their calls for quality obviously content. Yeah, so you could call them and say, hey, I'm under the impression that you can actually only charge me for this, and they will

Next, I've got money in from Charlotte who said she cleaned out the meats and leftovers and random things that she had in her freezer and had a week of cheap eats. My personal favorite tips you when we're really broke. I go, okay, that's it. We're eating freezer food for the next week.

One.

You have so much space for ice cream.

I know, and like sometimes I look at it and I'm like, oh, this went off in March twenty twenty three. It was in the freezer. It's fine.

Basically, don't think about it.

Just eat it. I don't want to talk about how long it can live in the freezer. The freezer makes it invincible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it lives forever. Next, I've got a money in from Tory who said we finally went to the local farmer's market on a Sunday and we only spent twenty five dollars on all of our fruit and ven for the week for two adults. Oh, it was really well organized and quiet because they went super early.

That's such a good deal. Every time I go to the farmer's market, guys, it is a slippery slowe.

I get sucked in.

Yeah, I'm like, Oh, that boutique granola I definitely need to purchase. Oh you make butter, Yeah, you make hanchhin butter fantastic. You make freeze dried dog treats like I am. It's a slippery, slow It's not a cheap experience. Twenty five dollars. I can get around to that.

Well done, really good, good job tory next to all the money in from aunt who said after a post that went up in the group that some of you guys might have seen. It was about the Microsoft Office subscription increase. We've all seen that. She had a chat with her coworker about it and realized that because their workplace pays for them to have obviously the Microsoft Suite on their laptops, they also have access to that on their personal devices. So she can just forego the subscription,

To total thing about Word is that you either never need it or when you need it, you need it.

Dos when that situation arived docs.

True, and that's like free.

It's free sheets instead of yes, so right, I do love Excel. Don't try and get pry that from her culture. Apologies, it just doesn't work the same on Google sheets. It's just not the same. That's fair.

That's not fair, all right, carry on? Sorry from Alisha who said she shopped at Aldi. She went to take her trolley back and she saw that somebody had left theirs in the car park. The worst kind of people. So she took the great back and got herself a free token little because she there.

You go love that.

And lastly, I have a personal money in did you put in the group?

I didn't, Actually I should.

I'll put it on the thread. Money in for me, money in for community member Sophie the Queen you may remember a couple of weeks ago, I said, I was devastated because my beloved like forty year old tupperware microwave rice cooker.

Yes, the community pulled through, Jessica sld something less.

Sophie slid into my DMS and said, is this what you're looking for? And firstly, I'm shocked that she knew from vague my very poor description of what it was of this very specific tool.

She has one.

It looks brand, it has the like the instruction manual. I did not pitch that. Yeah, so the lid the rascus and there the lids, gotcha. That's what broke on mine. One of those little clippy handles. There's an extra piece that mine doesn't have.

So great. Yeah, pretty much. You bought this from this girl.

I shured it and she was so lovely. She's like, I believe in paying it for you don't have to, and I was like, no, no, of course I'm going to pay you. So money with her, She's just made some extra cash because apparently I was sitting on using her cupboard and money win for me. I don't have to pay one hundred and fifty dollars one on eBay.

Oh my god, is so wholesome. Has been reunited with the rice cooker. Oh lovely. We were all out late worrying.

It's always thought about it for months.

We definitely didn't forget about that.

We can rest good night's sleep.

So what broke? Tips? Have you?

Good?

Do they involve rice cooking?

I wish they did.

Let me think if I could think of one on the spot. Honestly, rice cooking in general is just like a broke honestly good no, no feeling good rice cooking tip don't buy packet rice. You can make it at home. You can make it a home you mater's huge bags from coals.

Yeah, don't buy packet rice. Do you think it's only like a dollar and that feels cheap being you know what's cheaper cooking your own rice at home, And it's always better. It is because it feels like you can taste the loves that. I think you can taste the difference, genuinely, like I reckon. Maybe this is not a good thing for me to say, but I reckon in the blind taste test, I could tell the difference. We're gonna make that a video. Yeah, remember the time I was like, so,

I'm all, yeah, I would like right now.

So the fact that I am saying I could definitely taste do you free between rice.

We'll report back to you on that one when we film the next video. We will do that.

We will do that.

So this first one comes from I'm so sorry. I don't actually know your name, but we have been chatting. But super Over I'll call you that because that's actually kind of cool. Super and Never says every few months moondog World has a day we can fill up any size to container with.

Fizzle for free, any size.

I think that's there.

Sel celt Selter. That's called Seltzer, And I know Seltzer is actually soda water in the US. So if you're listening in the US, I'm talking about seltz oh not selter.

Wait, so soda water here is seltzer in America? I think so?

But here Seltzer is your bod.

It's an alcoholic So what are you doing taking an eski? You could take anything and feel it all the way out.

What's the most rogue container you can think of? Well, I'm thinking like a bird bath or something. I have a lack of creativity. I'm like Jerry can Jerry can shoe. Okay, a cup is bigger than a I'm just gonna take a cup free seven.

Yeah, totally totally.

Thing like like you go to like Bunnings and buy like a whole new bathtub. Yes, a blue shell swimming pool.

Yes, you could do. Yes, I liked this. We could get quite creative. What else have you got? Oh?

Yes, this next one comes from gem who I did not know this and maybe a lot of people do. But optometrists can bulk bill. So Jem got an examination, eye drops and a minor procedure on Medicare. And I've been avoiding the optometrist for you know, nothing major, just like I need to get new glasses, and I know that they do prescriptions for free depending on where you go, But I not know about the rest of this stuff. So if you've been avoiding interest.

I've just been avoiding it. So I don't want to wear glasses, but I get headaches in the afternoon, and I'm convinced any glasses. I don't want cock contact lenses. There's nothing wrong with it. What's wrong with glasses? Both of you say wearing glasses. It's the idea that I would have to pick out something that looked good on me, and I really struggle with the idea of sunglasses, and then the idea that I feel like it's a new

I don't like the sounds as Blinda, but I as.

Friends with Sharon.

It really is a new identity because when I ask my friends, now, when you picture me, do you pitch me with glasses or without glasses?

With glasses?

I still picture myself without glasses when I think of myself. But because I this is you know, a few years, so that's not my whole life. So I'm like, it is weird how other people perceive you and see some one glass.

It's like when I see my day without glasses.

Something, Yeah, that's not my dadases, I never wanted to be that person.

Now I'm that person. Unfortunately, can't go back. But they suit you so like, do you even need to see the optometrists because you don't look like you need new ones?

Thank you so much. You look like I need new ones.

Exactly.

You're saying, I don't want to look at you anymore.

Luckily I can't. But what's your broke tip? I'm so sorry, that's okay, it's probably for the best.

My broke tip is it's stolen.

Okay, it's stolen. Thank you so much.

A friend of mine said, it's.

The best type of broke tip, exactly for it exactly.

My friend says, if you get an overnight trip, say you're like doing a lot of travel, and I guess this is more so if you're like going overseas for like six months, trying as many overnight trips as you can because you're saving on accommodation.

That's a great one.

You know, they're really good, Yes, everything, overnight everything, and then you're yeah, exactly, rely tired, I know. But if you get if you get yourself a cabin on a bus, that's a good idea. Combining two things travel and travel hat.

I wonder how many people have now decided this year is like their year to do travel.

I want to travel this year, So that where you're going to go, I don't know, for a house.

Relatable, but also you're not broke. I have seen your savings. I want to do. I really want to do a Disney cruise.

They're pretty new here and they look so fun, but they're very expensive from.

What I've heard, are they Disney? What happens on a Disney cruise? I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. In fact, I'm going to be brutally honest.

Not your idea of good time.

No, I've never done a cruise, so I just the idea of being stuck on a ship does not sound entertaining.

For Disney specifically that.

Selling you do you want to wait until Harvey is old enough to want to go on a cruise, because I feel like that would make it from anywhere.

She's on the ship, she's on the show guards start Harvey in a little sailor hat, stop Sailors. Absolutely, we'll do.

It Harvy with Mickey ears.

Oh, that's very cute.

And when we do our she's on the ship we have to be speaking in like she's on the four Seas seas, let's be our whole identity.

Did you say that the Disney cruise was really expensive? Because if you work for Disney Cruises, I think you should call us because.

Voice acting future, that's incredible.

I feel like Beck would go on a Disney cruise. Oh yeah, I think I reckon Emma, our producer, would go on to Disney cruise. I feel like we're all going on to Disney cruise.

Someone's got to know someone say less, yes, someone out there if you know something.

Night trips though, genius, Yes, you do it on a ship.

Can't out on a cruise because that's the whole holiday, the whole time.

Yes, from Melbourne and Tasmania overnight or you.

Could yes, I don't know if this is taking it too far ago gas light yourself money and that's and book a cruise, but then tell everybody you got free accommodation because you spent it all on your transport. There you go, yes, go on overpriced cruise?

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Disney, if you want to call us, we would do a whole is It Worth It? Series? But we really would and we will be worth it. We take the whole team.

The more the merrier, right, absolutely, all right.

Let's move on from this. We're going to go to a break. We're going to calm down. After we get back. We aren't going to be talking about digney cruises. We're going to be talking about whether you should re mortgage your current home loan to get an offset account. And you slid into our dams about something this week. You want to know who's right in a wedding guest list drama, and so do we. So don't go anywhere.

Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to the money Dilemma.

Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

Hi, guys, I just wanted some advice on my husband and ies. Not really money problem, but maybe money advice. We have a five figure healthy savings fund at the moment, and it's currently sitting in an offset account gaining interest, and we were wondering if we should pop that into a mortgage offset account. But plot twist, our mortgage account currently won't allow us to have an offset as that's

I think in the word salad of trying to get so many technical things out, I'm assuming our listener meant she has her money currently in a savings account, not set right. We're going to operate on the assumption that that's what you're saying. I know it's very overwhelming when you try and get it all in one take. You did a good job, but we're going to assume that that's what you mean.

Okay, I want to know because I've done the maths or I'm currently doing the maths and we'll do the maths while you guys are talking. That's the plan here. I'm hoping you go long enough so that I can do the math Sure, but what would you do, jess Well.

I think you do the maths is the answer. So this isn't probably an interesting addendum because I feel like maybe not everybody knows that not all mortgages have offsets or redraws or things like that.

An offset.

If you don't know, you should. You should listen to the property player. But if you haven't, that's okay. An offset is where you put money in to an account and it shockingly offsets your mortgage. So if you had one hundred thousand dollars mortgage and you put ten thousand dollars like this person was saying into their offset account, you'd only be paying interest on ninety thousand dollars. It's taking it off the top. Basically, an account.

That works exactly operates the same and just link to the mortgage.

It's a link to the mortgage. You can take money out, is like you'ine you can put money and take money out. So it's appealing because it's not as if you've paid the money to the mortgage or into an investment where it's harder to access. You can still get to it, but there is obviously the added benefit of offsetting the interest, reducing the amount of interest that you pay over the

That isn't the case. It's like a bells and whistle additional thing. It's not a standard inclusion on a mortgage, and often you'll find that they're not the cheapest. Like that's not to say that you shouldn't do it, but like you might go to I don't know if you've seen the ads for Athena home loans, like they're everywhere at the moment, and they say, I don't know, they've

So I would say you should be proud of yourself for.

Being in a position where you have to know what these words are. Unfortunately I didn't understand a lot of that, and so I don't have a lot of good advice, but I do. I am big in big supportive offset accounts. Based on what I've heard, I don't know what a redraw is.

Similar functionality, so you're paying the money off of the mortgage, but it allows you the functionality of taking it back get it back is the I know they sound very similar from my understanding, and VD is probably a got a better insight than me. But from my understanding, a red yeah, you know everything I know. A redraw there's a little bit.

More hoops to get through.

Sure it's the offset, Like I could if I had an offset on a mortgage, I would be able to pick up my phone and be like, oh, I have ten thousand dollars, I want to take five thousand dollars out. I can do that right now. From my banking I think with the redraw it's the redrawer looks similar, but

I don't love the idea of whereas an offset account is your bank account BECK that is just tied. It's like in a relationship, it's married to your mortgage, and therefore anything in that offsets the interest that is payable on your mortgage. So let's just say you've got a home loan BECK of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and then you've got thirty grand in an offset account.

Right now, do you mand of fact, we ask what the difference between comparison ry and interest rate.

Is, It's just the comparison across the industry average. I see, I see, I see. So let's just say it's seven and a half percent. Like when I say that, on average, people are getting mortgages at about that at the moment, and that includes like your investment properties and your owner occupier property. Is just the easiest way to talk about it without promising you a particular interest rate from a particular bank. And let's just say you've got I don't know,

Is it fair to say, and I got off this wrong? Is it fair to say that The other thing that they would maybe want to consider is, let's say they were really smart and really lucky and they locked in

Yes, that is absolutely correct, and that is why you need to talk to a mortgage broker to do all of this for you. It's a mortgage broker is bound to make sure that you're always in a better position because of the recommendations that they make. So like you could go to them and be like, hey, I've got this great and I think I want an offset if it's financially viable. If the mortgage broker can't put you in a better situation, they're going to have to tell you, hey, babe,

So much to my friend. It was like, this is the best, Like if you change it would be worse for you.

Yeah, and like, come and see as Zella mortgage broker, because that's literally one of our favorite things to do. I want to get a better deal for you. Gin know how exciting it is to be like I saved you this amount, and we always want to do the numbers. It's one of the reasons why I literally love what we do. Firstly, we get people into their first homes, so exciting. But then I'm like, hey, beck I can save you three hundred thousand dollars and I'm going to

Yeah?

Exciting, so fun, But essentially you would pay off your mortgage much quicker, and that needs to be taken into account as well, because what are you going to do with the mortgage of payments? Like are you investing that? Are you saving that? What's the power of that money that you could have for an additional nine years? So you're not just talking about the fifty thousand dollars you have in your offset account. You're also talking about the power of the money you don't have today that you

Huge.

And if I had more time, I would do the financial advice thing and extrapolate that out, but we just don't have time. Chat to a broker, Chat to a mortgage broker. I know a lot of good ones that I have a personal affiliation with me.

Well, I will link to that in the show notes. If you'd like to chatch one of the queens at Zeala, can we get you.

A better interest rate? Like yes, yes, that's the plan. Scene and then once you're a Zella client, we literally check every six months anyway, so that you never have to ask a mortgage broker again. We'll call you with a better deal.

Sign me up, it's a good deal. Well, should we get into the spicy DM from this week?

Yes, or are you ready to sit down? It's about weddings, so you know it's going to get spicy.

Yeah.

Hi, friends, my cousin is getting married next year and I am so excited to get together with all the family. But we have a big family. I just found out one of my cousins has RSVP'd no because she didn't get a plus one for her boyfriend to come as well. Weddings are so expensive, and I think the fact that every cousin in our big family is invited in the first place is amazing, and I think she's being really selfish.

I mean, I don't I'm just basing this off my friends' wedding. I've probably gone to like two in my life, and they are so so expensive. I totally get it. If you have especially yeah, if you have a big family, if you have a lot of friends, you have to. It's like that thing when you invite someone out, like for work drinks. You're like, oh, well, if invite this person,

It's just not feasible. It's just not possible to have.

Because that's like I understand that in your one individual situation where you're like maybe you've been with your partner for ten years and they're part of the family, and you're like, why the heck not, why does this person not get an invite? That is weird or it could be something you just said dating. Either way, if you're looking at your own situation and that's your because it makes sense, like that's your reality. Your reality is everything

That sucks.

But if you zoom out, as VD says, zoom.

Out and be like, oh, actually, like five hundred people are probably complaining about the same thing, like why is it my partner? And you're like Okay, well, actually they don't have exactly double what they initially had budget wise, just miraculously like accessible to them.

So I understand.

I totally get it, like that would feel really crappy, but it's like you must taken to consideration that if you're saying it, probably like many other people are saying it, and that's just not realistic.

Okay, I need to talk about this in three separate sections.

I love how Jess's brain works. You're so good, guys, this is literally how she works at work. Well, so do you want to just have a quick chat? And She's like all right. So I've got three different scenarios to start at the top.

I want to say, the cousin who pulled out because she couldn't have her partner, I'm going to say, Okay, like, as an anxious girl, if you don't want to go, if something's not right for you, I get it, I don't want to you don't verbally punish you for that. That being said, I do think there is a bit of a difference between a cousin and a friend from

You just said that you're a really big family and you can't wait to get together with all the cousins.

So like that is not really making sense to you got a friend there, bro, you got many, it sounds like. But then my overarching feeling on this conversation is no pay, no say if you are not paying, if you're not paying for the wedding, take your opinion and shove it with a sudden I'm sorry. Like so, I saw this conversation happen, and I don't want to say you too, but I saw this compensation happened with someone very close to.

Me, and I was.

Stressed getting the tea after stress that this girl was going through. Yeah, there's a bit of tea, you guys, after the stress, the stress that this girl was going through because family was saying, oh, you need to invite these people. People should never met like you in the a D and I should acknowledge. I know that there is you know, in different cultures, there's certain things. I don't want to overstep there because I don't you know, that's not my free situation.

We are talking astral opinion, that we're talking correct white Australia. Yeah, white.

But it is such an old idea that everyone needs to every uncle, cousin, grandpa, grandpa's best friend from down the road, you know. And I just think, lud, exactly what you were saying. If it's not up to anybody, it's about the bride and groom. I mean, it's your call or bright and bride or groom and groom or no, you know, you.

Could just say the couple. The couple would make some You can't get married legally yet, Oh is that so you can only marry one person? Back that I get greedy?

Greedy, Well got a ways, that's why we got to get divorced.

We get married again.

See, I'm sorry, guys, running on not a lot of sleep. If you're allowed, you're.

Trying to plain. But I just have been colorful and excited. Yeah I am.

I'm over excited and underslept, and it's not a good combination for me, no pay no say that to ry Matte. If you're not paying for the wedding, if you're not getting married, you actually you don't get an opinion. And I'm so sorry. That's just how it should be.

I'm not sorry. I'm glad you apologized. I'm doubling down.

Okay, great, I feel supported.

I feel literally the same like as someone who had a wedding. I'm grateful that I didn't have a lot of pushback of people being like I need to bring x y zed. But we did, like my husband and I did have conversations about like, oh, who's this person? Oh your mate from work, Like there was a group

Great rules.

So if you got an invite to our wedding and I had not met Jess's partner, I probably wouldn't have invited Jessice. But I knew Jess's partner and I was like, hey, Jess you're coming, but they're not over the top of that. It would have been the same conversation of like, oh, well, does Jess have friends there? Oh, Jess and Beck would have come together. That's fine, Jess will sit with Beck.

You don't get a say there's no pay no say.

Yeah exactly, And I mean Justice Book he's coming out. It's called no pay No Say.

It's sounded so perfic. That's a motto.

Yeah, that's my twenty twenty thrive nod say exactly.

You know, someone's definitely thought of it before.

But I'm gonna put it on T shirt for you. Thank you. But I just feel like there's so much nuance to this. But like if it's a group of cousins, I feel like you've thought about why they're not getting plus ones. Anyway, I can promise you that when a bride and a groom or a groom and a groom like all that, when someone sits down, when someone sits down to plan a wedding, they don't go, we should just invite Jess and not her partner. You don't go, oh,

I remember this too. You remember you agonized?

Yes, but also do you remember it was close to two hundred guests. Crazy, it was like two hundred people. And I just said to Steve, that's ridiculous, Like absolutely not,

Totally right?

And so we had this conversation, and thankfully Steve and I are very much on the same page, so he was like, yeah, fair call. And there were people that I had added that he was like what ah, And then there were conversations about, hey, should we give a plus one to this person or this person? Like I don't think there was one person at my wedding that I had never met before. Yeah, because I was crazy

It's also like one of those things I think exactly you said so many people. It's like, really, I've never been married, but it seems like everyone really agonizes over putting those lists together, Like it's not an easy thing to meet your budget, your venue capacity, your trailer, all of these things. Yeah, it seems like it's really hard for people.

It is because the thing is also when you put the invites out and you have no control over who's talking to who, and like say, say someone's like, oh, I've got an invite to this thing, and you know that someone somewhere is like, oh, that's weird that she'd invite me, and you don't have the opportunity to go and explain everything to them. They're just out in the world thinking that you don't like them as much as

Once it's out, it's out, and that's it.

I've never been marriage. That's sound like I've done this before, but cost.

And we're not just talking about like a little bit like oh, it's just another seat, like totally events styling for additional tablewhere for your food, your drink. Like, let's just take a stab in the dark and say that that costs, on average, two hundred and fifty dollars ahead. Some weddings will be less, some weddings will be more. Two hundred and fifty bucks ahead. Great, If ten people want plus ones, that's another two and a half thousand dollars to add to your wedding budget.

Crazy people are made of money.

That's insane to think that the plus one isn't Like even if you're like, oh, well, I'll pay for my plate or whatever, like, it's actually not the point. Like if you didn't get a plus one, your question isn't should I ask for one? Your question is am I comfortable going on my own?

Yeah?

And if the answer is no, you can just RSVP no, and you know what I can promise you if, for example, I accidentally sent out an invite and my invite went to Jessica and it didn't have a plus one, and just was like, well, I'm not going to ask for a plus one and she just said hey, sorry, Like RSVP no, there's no drama. She just said no, like because she doesn't want to go to that event. Because I can promise you this is so savage. Nobody cares

Seems like the obvious choice.

You get to make up the too. You could be like, oh they all have to be named Bill, like, you.

Do what you want.

Six percent of you said, cut guests so everyone gets a plus one.

Oh sing, that's a very interesting take, that is.

Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm going to read this one out too. I know it was like the minority, but like the idea that you'd cut guests so other people could have a plus one. Yeah, you're cutting people, you know.

It feels people pleasing. I say it as a people pleaser.

Yeah, yeah. Next question, is it fair to RSVP no if you don't get a plus one? Fourteen percent off you said, yeah, it's really awkward to go solo an eighty six percent of you said no, I respect their budget. Yeah, I'd probably still go.

Yeah, it depends. I think it just depends on the situation. Like if I was the friend from school that didn't know anybody being anxious enough maybe during like your wedding, I would have been like, yeah, I can go soloo dr ya.

But you had hips of people that you're there, and like, honestly, that was part of the consideration because you've got to remember that when you're planning a wedding, it's not just the guest list we're thinking about so I've done the guest list, then I've done the table settings, and I've made sure that those two people that used to be married that we're both friends with are not on the same table. And even you know, I'm like literally like, okay, cool.

I think that's such a valid choice.

Yeah, I feel like it's fair. Someone else said, I don't even think it's budget dependent that bride and groom don't have to invite plus ones.

Yeah, do you want your wedding?

Literally, I'm very happy that no one's disagreed but with us yet literally, And that's in my head. I'm like, why would I invite somebody to my wedding? What am I going to do? Stand in my wedding dress and veil and be like, oh sorry, what was your name? Someone else said, yeah, but was she the only cousin to not get offered a plus one? That's awkward.

If she was, that's a good point. Yeah, it would be very rogue. But then could it be dependent? Like if you've just started dating your boyfriend? I yeah, right, you sticking around? You're going to be in the family photos if you.

I remember one of my friends had this and she went to a wedding. I believe I just remember brunch yap in. But it was only for married partners, and her partner I couldn't go because they weren't married.

Ah, but they've been together.

Or something, and they were like, yeah, I know, wild.

Yeah, that does feel a bitter fair.

Actually, someone else said, I had a friend never speak to me again after she didn't get a plus one to my wedding.

That's harsh, Like, as much as it's your choice whether or not you want to go with or without a plus one, yeah, kind of your friendship is crazy. Yeah, that's wild.

I mean, what was I think I'm again a little bit savage today. I feel like that friendship was probably more fragile than you think it was. Yeah, right, And like Catcher, if that's all it's going to take to break our friendship, you would probably not a good friend to be.

It's crazy when you boil it all down.

It's like imagine like you're just sitting in the lound room with your friend and I know, this is really dumb.

This is not the situation at all.

But like let's say your friend is sitting across from you and they're like, give me two hundred dollars. You're like, I'm so sorry, I don't. I don't have two hundred dollars. I only have two undred dollars for you, not your partner, and they're like, give me two dollars. All this friendship is sorry about Like that feels really mean, And.

That's almost almost what this feels.

Like, kind of you know, it's like, but I'm so sorry I don't only have enough to give you.

And it's like, well, it's not like she came home from school with an extra kid and said, oh, have we got dinner for Marcus as well? Yeah, oh yeah, we made spag Ball join in. Yeah, a bit different. Someone else said I didn't care if people are s VP no to my wedding. It meant I spent more money on my honeymoon.

Honestly, that's a great take.

Less money I have to spend iconic. Another person said that the cousin isn't going solo. She has the whole family there plus one for real solo guests.

That's fair.

Someone else and this is going to be my last one because I feel like we could yap about weddings forever said petty decisions like this can have longstanding repercussions.

It's true. Is it worse relationship over it?

That's the thing think about life, you guys. Everything's arbitrary, isn't it.

Yeah, it's one day, Like does it really? One day We're all going to be in the ground. One day.

They'll be divorced or dead.

Listen.

That's it. So live, love, laugh while you can.

No.

I love this. I'm glad we ended it on such a positive note. You guys, turn out of ten. All right, guys, we are going to go because I feel like this is rapidly declining. But we'll see you right earlier on Monday for a money diary. Have a good weekend, by guys.

Bye.

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