Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the the podcast for millennials who had a barbie party last weekend and it was basically the most lit thing in the entire world, but nobody cares. So today is Friday, which means it is time to celebrate you because last Saturday at my barbie party, it was about me, but today it is about you and celebrating how incredible she is on the Money community, we are genuinely so excited to
be back again for another Friday episode. Today we're going to be sharing our favorite money wins or is just groo. She is going to be taking us through the top tips and the top money wins from our group. We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week, guys, it's all about understanding the pros and cons of being a casual or a part time worker and how that works. Beck, You're going to sprinkle in some more broke tips, which
we're very excited about. And we're going to be unpacking something you slid into our DMS about and we're going to discuss how to bring up a prenup with your partner. How do we have that conversation? So that could be really fun. But first things first, my loves, how was your.
Week so good? I feel like the Barbie party just like set the week off on a high. If you follow me on Instagram, you know getting that costume together was quite the audio.
You love a theme though we love see commit it well. Beck dyed her head.
Will not dye her hair, It spray hated her hair a different color. So I feel like everyone bought in. And I said on the night, it's so rare that you have a party like that with as many people as you did. And every single persons committed, every single person went hard. It was so much fun.
I mean, it was probably the aggressive invitation that I sent. If you remember, the invitation did say that was great standard barbies will be rejected at the door if you do not dress up. Don't bother coming, like go hard or go home, Like this is a costume party. Sure, for sure, not one person didn't put effort in.
No, that's true, that is true. I really like that. But also this is something I do get nervous about when it comes to themes, is that they're going to cost a lot of money. They don't have to cost that much. You were really creative, So just putting that out there.
Jess already had a costume box full of costumes and its next to my ready to go.
That's an investment.
It is my boyfriend made in front of me, and then I got to whip it out and be like, there.
You go, costume box is paying exactly.
How is your week back?
My week was really lovely. Hectic, hectic work week. Lot's going on, but also really nice. I'm trying to like make time for mates and also work, and I don't want the two to bleed into each other. You know what I mean, work time, Jessica, apologies, this is a worktime, babe.
No laughing fellow business associate.
Hello, infer to each.
Other by name anymore?
Oh, yes, my colleague, this is my colleague, my estume colleague. No, but my week has been pretty lovely. Oh how good? Happy?
My financial yeah?
By day?
Oh isn't it exciting? Huge me? Yes. If you guys have fallen a little bit off track when it comes to your financial goals, I think this time of year it's perfect to just get back on the horse. Yeah. I feel like so many times we get to July. Oh my gosh, I haven't achieved anything. So we still have like literally six full months to do so much stuff. Zachly like, get back on it. If you haven't done
your budget, download our free budget from our website. If you're worried about cash flow, now is the time to sit down and go through your finances. If you haven't got your insurances in order, now's the time you want to review your mortgage. Go talk to Kate at Zella Money. There are so many things that you can do to put yourself in a better financial position. And I mean listening to this podcast is arguably the best one you've made this year.
Well done starting the financial year off on a great foot.
I love it all Right, Well, let's dive straight into something that is literally my favorite thing ever, and that's like our money wins thread, just Grichier. What have you pulled out to share with the team this week?
My first is a money loss who came from Ali, but I'm going to follow it up with a potential money win. She said, money loss took the kids to Disney on Ice, but life win. We had the best family night I ever. And I actually just got a TikTok the other night that had someone who was going to Disney on Ice and it was a video and she'd gone to Kmart and she'd bought a bunch of Disney merch there for a quarter of the price and just took it with her and pulled it out of bag.
Was like, oh look what I got you? Oh so smart, because that's those slates will take you for a ride. I think it was something like seventy dollars for a soft toy, so going it came out of a target or when Jessica spent it, yep, one hundred percent. I would not a question.
No, no, no, no, no, would did you have will? We went to Disneyland twice last year? I'm for she sure she went ham both times.
Wow, bought the overpriced merch. If you're taking a kid, they're not going to know so exactly.
Early I should have done that to Jess. Look at these ears. Jess would have been like, yeah, I haven't seen these ones in this the fifty different Disney stores I've been into today, it's a cure.
Or if you go to an ice rink and dress up as whoever the Disney or not, I just won't know the difference.
Not a clue. Could just be back in Victoria's skating exactly like.
Me on ice skates. Would not be a good idea, it would be funny. Let's saving money. Let's do it. Let's get our disney is out and go ice skating. She's on the money, Disney or.
Us done done, I'll see there. My next money wind comes from Claire, who said money win. I'm rereading my books in my bookshelf again, so I've saved myself twenty five dollars. I'm buying a new book, love it.
It's a good money win.
Simple but effective. Next I've got a money in from Julia, who said, instead of buying a new dress swear for a wedding, a friend of a friend let me borrow one of hers for the day.
I just like the I that, and I love that they weren't like a super close friend. We're becoming far more comfortable with sharing clothes. I feel like the sharing is the way to go.
Sharing truly is caring, especially in this economy. So you'd love to see it.
You best believe I'll be asking to borrow that too. Too. Off Jessica that she walter my Barbie party.
Anytimes from casual Wednesday in the office.
Yes, absolutely, don't put it past me if that is an option. I am in a bad time.
My next money whin is from Rihanna, who said money win. I've been having a hard time personally for the last few weeks. So on Saturday, a friend of mine made me a home called lunch Slushpin tobot. I was out all day on Saturday and their lunch was such a lifesaver.
I love this. That is actually so wholesome. Are you making lunch for the team this week or.
I can try, but as a not great chef, you may or may not want.
We are all having dinosaur nugget.
That's exactly right. Next, I've got to win from Georgina, who said we paid off three out of our five expensive degu station restaurants by using credit card and Flybys points translated to restaurant give outch Oh so smart. I've spent months maximizing the points we could get on transactions, particularly from Flybys to do this.
Oh great, Flybys and Jessica two peas in a pod. In fact, this week I went to the Flybys office actually, and I had a corporate speaking event which was so slagh like. Imagine telling the Flybys team, who are arguably better at budgeting like they are the queens at Tips and Trigs. They asked me to come in and tell them that is really cool, isn't it cool?
Yeah?
So fun. I'm very Jealouyhi.
Just so you know, Beck would like to draw your attention to the fact that she drew a sushi.
I don't know why you.
I don't want you not sure a while.
I need you to just look at the sushi that I drew because you said beno box sorry continued, Yes, we'll put a picture online. Yes, please, if you think you're not nerospicy baby roll.
Next money when comes from Shivanji, who said money Win shopped for the entire year at the Iconic sale, bought twenty ish pieces of clothing and got fifty percent off my entire shop on top of the sale price. Ended up paying seven hundred dollars for shopping worth three thousand, eight hundred dollars. Then I used shop back and Cornus Points to get extra points on it, and that was beautiful too.
Oh my god, shop back, I love shot back.
How good?
It just reminded because I feel like we haven't said in a while, but the code SotM gets you ten dollars if you sign.
Up to shop back, and I have used it before and that's a big money win.
Yes, big money wing. I am their biggest fan. And lastly, I'm just summarizing almost the entire thread from this week.
It went bothways.
Hundreds of people hundreds is it money win of money us did or did not get Taylor Swift tickets?
Yeah?
Oh my gosh, we feel you, We see you.
We're working on a little solution. Could you say you didn't.
We've got four little solutions that we're trying to find a solution before.
Yeah, we're trying to find a solution to give you a solution. But just know we're working on it. We've got your back, besties. You're gonna want to be following us on Instagram and on Facebook.
That you need to be following us on socials because it won't be on the phone.
No, it'll be a little surprise.
Interesting.
You didn't hear it from me though.
Imagine if it was just like us giving away pictures of Taylor sw I.
I was thinking that too. I was like imagining you guys.
Just no, it's not it will make you cry. It made me cry. It's very anyway, carry on, carry on, carry all, right, Beck, I need to know your broke tip have you got anyway.
I'm kind of excited about these ones because they're very relatable, I would think, to the general public. So the first one comes from Grace, who has two for me, so I'll read them both out.
The one is reuse.
Your tea bags.
We were talking about reusing off air.
Draw the line at the tea bag reuse.
Usually I mean usually same, but if you know, if you have one tea bag left and you literally can we've all been there, we've all been there by a new box. Reuse the tea bag, don't worry about it. This would be like a flavorful water which can be delivered. Wee tea is for plebs rather than reusing. Could you maybe double up the quantity of water that you're putting it into because they just worry about bacteria.
I'm not for tea leaves.
Surely, if you're like maybe making two teas or something like that, you can at the same time at the same time. But yes, ideally you know you want it because they do get moldy or something for.
You would be thought. No, double double the water. That's a good one. Double the water and then you can pop one in the fridge for tomorrow.
Exactly right.
So reuse your tea bags, reuse anything that is able to be reused, basically, I think is a really good general tip. The next one is toothpicks. Yep, are you re used toothpicks?
Good?
Move on. I'm not even going to see how many different things you would reuse.
I ever used gum.
No?
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, Okay, this.
Next one, do you know if I make that sound actually I hope I'm not triggering anyone. But if I go in front of my husband, it triggers his gag briefly.
I know a few people that I would I'm sorry, sorry if you're driving and gagging, but I'm gackling. If you have turned it down, you can safely turn it up now because Victoria doesn't have to gag anymore. This one is a very good tip. Okay, so this is for uber users.
Use uber pool.
Sometimes you actually don't have anyone else in there, but you've saved so much money, so always use it even if you do have someone in there.
Whatever you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We can be friends. A lot of the time you actually.
Don't have anyone else in there because no one else is using uber pool.
That's quite clever.
I never thought.
I didn't realize that they would just not put someone in there.
You can get that.
That's like a free seat row on the plane. That's why I cute that too. Yes, which is rare, rare.
But sometimes it happens.
Now.
I do have another one from one Courtney, who has sent in after hearing about you know my bit situation. Courtney wrote in and said that she heard that basically Medibank has a Live Better program. You be healthy, you get points. You can redeem those points to buy a brain new fit bit, so you can. I had never heard about this before, but do it. I feel like it's a win win win.
It's like the AIA Vitality program. So I'm pretty sure that medibank is through IOA correct me if I'm wrong. But that program kind of gives you discounts and rewards you for being healthy, and you can get like percentages off your health insurance, and you can like redeem your points for things, and you get more points for doing more things, Like you can get points for just doing your steps, but you can also like go to the
optometrist and have your and your check up. You get points for it, and you can redeem it on stuff like give out just stuff. It's actually really good.
I love that.
Not sponsible just I thought that was real cool. No, I do love But if they do want to sponsor me, I would be very keen on working with it. I wouldn't hate it, wouldn't hate it lines to my values.
Yeah, So my breake tip for this week is to bring your own sauces, condiments, everything wherever you go. So if you're getting a meat pie, you don't want to pay you extra twenty cents, sometimes an extra two dollars for a little what do you call.
Those things sashet?
No, it's like comes in a tiny little bowl ramikin ramikin of sauce or.
So you're just carrying around to seven hundred ye meal bottle off.
You can bring the bottle, but you can also just get little toupware container's always bring your own condiments. So if you're getting I don't know, pie from seven to eleven, I don't know if they charge for sources, but no, no.
Seven eleven sauces free. So that's money. Take the seven eleven sauce. Yeah, save it for the next time someone tries to stood you on surce because seven eleven would never, they would never.
Yes, exactly, you can save you up on those or whatever, but just don't be spending even twenty sense for extra sauce. Bring your own sauce, bring your own condiments.
See I've never done that, but I do. This is probably a deep insight into my personality. I'm the saltiest woman you've ever known. Like help, I put salt on everything.
And then you go back and put more salt on it.
Yeah, like if we're having toast with butter, salt, we're having any food salt, We're going to the tire place salt. Like, there needs to be salt on all of my food, to the point where I have gone to my doctor and said, can you please test my sodium levels? I think this is obscene and comes back normal He said, no, what you're consuming is sign I steal the salt pack from like macas and stuff, yep, and I put them in my purse so that I'm never without salt. That's
a good idea. I can't be without salt. So you can do that at hotels and stuff. I also carry my own tea bags in my own bag. Ah, yes, yes, yes, in little ziploc Yep, you've seen it. Yep. I've got little tea bags because like, what if I need a lemon grass ginger tea, I'm not spending five dollars getting a lemon gras like a couple what. Absolutely not.
That is so true actually, and I used to do that a lot, and it's so much cheaper. You go to like you know, your servo, and you get a cup of order and you just chuck your own tea bag in there.
It's so much cheaper. You might think I'm a stinge, but I'm a smart one.
There you go, little saucers, little tea bags. You just need a little mini kitchen.
It and just looking at us like we are insane. I'm like, nah, nah, no judgment.
No as a chicken nugget, girly, I'm all for doing what you gotta do.
I love that. Thank you, Jess more salt more often, Yes, exactly, save yourself some money.
Let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, we're going to be talking about the pros and cons of being a casual versus a part time worker. And then we're going to discuss how to approach having a conversation about a prenup with a partner, and that can be really awkward. So don't go anywhere, because we got to feel really uncomforable having this conversation and you can't just leave us.
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to the Money to Lemma.
For the week. Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve. She's on the Money Team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hello, she's on the money friends. I'm absolutely loving the potty. My money dilemma is that I'm in a bit of a sticky situation at work at the moment where I love my job and work pretty much part time hours as a casual, but I've just been asked to go on a contract a part time but I'm kind of having a hard time understanding the benefits. At the moment, as a casual, my alli rate is higher and I
still get pretty regular shifts. But I know from other staff who've been asked to go on a contract they've been threatened with reduced shifts as it's kind of out of their budget to pay casuals. However, I know in the summertime they are generally short on staff anyway. So Victoria and team, can you help me understand the pros and cons of being a casual versus part time? Beyond the ali right, and what might be the other benefits of being one or the other.
So this is a tricky topic because if you're doing here in Australia and you should absolutely head to the Fairwork dot gov dot au website to learn a little bit more and not just take a podcast as gospel. But I have done the reading, so I'm basically just
spitting out what I've read on that website. But I also know from personal experience in our community that if you're a casual employee and you've been doing consistent part time hours for a minimum I believe of twelve months, you're technically not meant to be on a casual contract. Some companies don't want to move you to a part time contract because that means they actually have a minimum
obligation to you. Like if I had employed Beck on a casual contract, technically the nature of our arrangement is that I wouldn't some weeks have to give you any shifts. But if you were on a part time we have an agreement that there would be minimum shifts. So some companies want to keep you casual. Some companies might be as yours is my she is on the money friend might be trying to move you to part time because their casual plan isn't working out as well. But there
are pros and cons to both. So when it comes to casual employment, you would have what we call a loading, and that's why your hourly rate is higher. You have loading because you don't get sick pay, and you don't get to take annual leave. You don't accrue annual leave, and you don't get a lot of the other benefits associated with being a full time or a part time employee. So a part time employee has the same rights as a full time employee, but you definitely have a few
less benefits involved when you're casually employed. But to make up for the lack of benefits, you get a higher hourly rate. So there are a few things I guess that come in and it's going to really depend on what you want out of life. I know when I was back in UNI, and this was ten plus years ago, so things have definitely changed. I got offered a part time role and I said no thanks, because I actually wanted the loading of being a casual employee and I
liked the flexibility. I didn't care about unpaid leave, I didn't care about all of those things because I was kind of like broke as hell, so I didn't want to take annual leave and any annual leave periods. I actually wanted way more shifts to make more money, so I liked that flexibility. But at the end of the day, I think this is going to depend on what your personal circumstances are, So negotiating with your employer is important.
Asking for more information I think is also important because if you're missing out massively financially from making that shift because it works better for your employer, I think that there needs to be a really good conversation around Hey, I can see that this puts you guys in a way better position, but it doesn't do the same for me.
In fact, I'm going backwards. So what are we going to do about Maybe you're negotiating that, yes, you take a cut on your hourly rate, but it might not be as much of a cut as what they're proposing. Do the math, sit down and write out what you'd take home per week or fortnite or month or however you get paid on the casual versus the part time contract, But also what other benefits are there. Are you actually going to enjoy the fact that you now get paid leave,
it might be a value to you. Are you actually going to benefit from sick leave? Because if you call in as a casual when you're not well, you're probably not getting paid for that. So it will really depend on your contract on how that works and having open, honest conversations with your employer. But I would be checking out the Fair Work website because I feel like they
are the most reliable source of information. And it really depends on what award you're on as well as to what the regulations look like, because they're really different if you were in construction, or you're a barista, or you're a waitress, or maybe you're working in an art gallery, Like all of these different things are going to come into play. So there's not a one size fits all
answer here as to which is better. Because according to Fair Work, part time contracts are relatively attractive because there's more responsibility on the employer. However, you might be like past Victoria, I loved my high outul you rate, so to me that made sense. What would you guys do?
I would just say to be aware that going onto part time, it's going to really depend on your contract because I remember when I worked in retail, and I worked for the same employer on a casual, part time, and full time contract, so I did it all. But the part time contract of a standard contract was a
three hour minimum. So I know that she said in her note to us that she was worried that if she stayed casual they might penalize her by reducing her shifts, but if she went part time like she would be guaranteed shifts. But sometimes employers can be sneaky because if they set that minimum at the lowest amount, which in the retail award, at least at the time that I was working, it was three hours a week, Yep, they are only required to give you whatever's outlined in your contract.
If they set that at twenty five hours a week, that would be your minimum. But sometimes employers who are doing it to reduce their costs will put those minimum hours in as low as possible so that they can chop and change that roster around as they need without actually having a significant obligation to you outside of your pro rauded benefits based on you know, whatever that minimum hourly rate is.
Yeah, it makes me really frustrated because the tone of that message was a bit threatening. Not from our community member. You weren't threatening, love you, but when people are saying, oh my gosh, like you'll get less hours, it kind of feels like a threat. Like, Jesse, if you don't sign this contract and agree to work for less right now, which is what it would feel like, you're going to
not get the work, so you better sign. Yeah, And that feels awful, And I think that there's a conversation around that, And that's why I'm saying, maybe go check out fair Work and have a conversation. You can always call them for some advice and see what happens. But also it kind of is a no brainer as well, Like let's say that that was not threatening at all, and I've got Beck and I've got Jess, and Jess is on a contract and she's part time, and then Beck,
you're hourly. I look at that and I'm putting some on to roster. If I'm the business owner, I'm going to go, ah, one, I've got minimum requirements that I need to meet with Jess. I don't have any obligation for hours for you. But also, right now, per hour Jess is cheaper. So really, regardless of weather I love you, Beck or not from a business perspective, it's just going to make more sense to just roster jess On Schlank. I'm just going to chuck jess On, like, let's pretend
apples with apples, you have exactly the same role. One's part time, one's casual. I think that that could come into play, but also that then doesn't feel fair. I would be asking, well, why are we making this shift now? How does that work? Where are the benefits for the employees in this circumstance. I know you've been casual up until this point, and they might go, well, actually the business is far more solid now like before we were up and down and you know we're a new business
or whatever it is. Now we know you're on you. These are the hours we need, this is the amount of stuff we need. We're just going to do part time. And from a business perspective, that makes a lot of sense and is actually in their best interest because they could say, Okay, well you know, we're just hiring this way and we if you don't want to move over, you could go find another job. Like sometimes it's just them trying to run a clean, good business. So we
need to take into consideration. I guess their motivation for this, and maybe it was about making Hey, well the sun was shining. You had this really high casual rate and that was really great. But now everything's more solid and the option on the table is a part time contract, Like, let's just have a look at what those things look like and how that benefits you. And I don't mean to end my conversation on a I guess it's sour, oa, because it's not sour. But sometimes we outgrow roles and
jobs and people. And if the option is going part time or finding another casual role that really serves you and makes you happy and gives you the remuneration that you are looking for, well maybe that's the decision that needs to be made. I'm not saying leave because they're making you sign it. That's absolutely not it. But you might go, oh, well that's okay. It was nice while it lasted. Yeah, totally, Beck, Do you have anything to add? Would you say yes or no?
Or for me, I had a similar thing same as you guys, where I was working at a bowling alley. They pretty much just went from casual to part time and started like, oh, it wasn't threatening, but it was very I'm gonna say, I'm going to say threatening and saying, like, you know, if you don't move to part time, you won't get shifts, et cetera. I kind of just had to do that. But the decrease isn't as noticeable as
you might think it is. It depends obviously, you know, as you're saying on your contract and things like that. But I guess, like just adding up what it's a bit hard to say, but like what your average sickie days are. Let's say you take four a year, which is really isn't much. I love a good siki for a mental health day for anything. Really, it is very important. So let's say you take like four a year. Let's say that's roughly seven hundred and eight hundred dollars a year.
Maybe you're making that in I don't know, like maybe like so deducting that if that makes sense, because you won't get paid that when you're a casual. If you moved apart time, time will kind of even out, do you know what I mean?
Yeah, and we leave and stuff. It's also ext You might say, no, I don't want to take any leave, and that's okay, But when you leave that job, your leave balance will be paid out exactly. Yes, it's like you're not working towards anything in that aspect. I think that it all needs to be taken into consideration, and it's honestly a bigger conversation than I get more per hour, Like the benefits and entitlements that exist are obviously financial,
but also go beyond that. Like I can't sometimes afford or historically couldn't afford to take a mental health day. I was completely burnt out. I go to work because I needed the money. Yeah, how nice is it to go? Oh, I can call in seek today and exactly I can stay in bed and not stress about finances. So I think there's lots of bros and lots of content. Ultimately, you have to decide that for yourself. Somebody else can't
tell you. But we've given you the resources and the tools and hopefully a little bit of insight to make that conversation and that decision a little bit easier. All right, let's segue into another community dilemma. Guys, we're going to talk about prenups. Because this week I got a message and it sounded like this, Hi, ladies, I'm getting married soon to the love of my life and I couldn't be more excited and happy. I would really like to sign a prenup. It's not at all that I think
the marriage won't work out. I've just worked so hard all my life to create my own wealth and it's something I value a lot. My parents separated when I was younger, and money was very messy and a huge stress in both of their lives. After watching this happen, I made it my mission to become financially independent. Anyway, My question is how do I bring this up with my fiance. I don't want him to be hurt or take this personally, but I'm worried he will I will not.
Currently we have our own finances. Nothing is combined yet. Thank you so much.
All right, guys, do you want to go first?
Jess, I will start by saying prenups are a thing. In Australia. We have the BFA binding financial Agreement.
I don't even need to be on this podcast if you want to know, ah, well.
We've done a full episode on that, so type into your podcast or it might be underbinding financial agreements. Actually tied that into your podcast up and it should come up. I personally, I'm a big fan of the BFA. I'm all for it. Similar to our community member, My partner and I currently have entirely separate finances. As you guys know if you listen to the property playbook shameless plot, I'm trying to buy a house.
Great podcast podcastic host, I think.
So too, Thank you so much. But I have literally already had the conversation with my partner and said, hey, if I buy a house, we will be putting a BFA in place.
I'm sexy.
Have all of my friends, most of them have shared finances, several of them are married or have children. I have said to all of them, none of whom currently have bed.
You're like the pesty, aren't who I have an account with money, so you can leave whenever you want.
Literally, I've learned from the best, and I basically just parrot Victoria and I say, hey, girly, I think for me, it is really and the way that I explained it to my girlfriends because everyone listening, you're basically my girlfriend. I pretty much have said. The way that I approach it with my partner and the way that I would approach it with anybody is saying It's not about saying I think you're going to take half my money. It's
not because I think you're a bad person. It's because I want both of us in this relationship to be looked after, because I care about you and I care about me, and I think that these choices are best being laid out now while we care about each other. Because I think the thing that we've seen through our money diaries and through you know, just things that we've heard and seen here and there, is that when things go wrong, you're not expecting it, and it makes things
harder if you're not prepared. So if I was in a relationship with my partner and I cheated on my partner, he's probably not going to be thrilled with me. So if we're then I wouldn't be thrilled with you.
No, no better than that.
Yeah, So then if we're trying to divide up assets, I think there's all of this animosity. There's emotion, even if there's no cheating, even if you're just breaking up because it didn't work out, there's all of these things going on that mean maybe not everybody's in the fairest kind mindset. Whereas if you have an agreement in place that you've put together. When you both love each other, when you both care about each other, when you're both worn the best for each other exactly, then I feel
like you're going to have the best possible outcome. And yes, people say that they're not fully air tight in the way that maybe your prenup is in the US, like there's you know, all of these nuancewers, which again were covered in the episode. But I think that having something in place is just nice to protect everybody. Like in the same way that if I got a BFA it was would be to protect me, we would also be putting clauses in there to protect my partner as well.
And so I think you go two ways one hundred percent. Like, this isn't just about me saying I think you're going to take my money and I want to make sure that you can't do that, you gold digger. It's about being like I want both of.
Us to be money.
I was going to say, no, we were this side of you.
Yes you have at my Barbie party, That's true. I did drop it.
She was like this super classy fairy and I was crumping on the desk floor. It was a lot.
No, But yeah, I think just putting something in place. I mean, like, hey, it's not just about me, it's about us, and I want us to be looked after, rain, hail or shine. Do we hope that we never have to use it?
Absolutely? I hope.
It's the most useless piece of paper that I own. However, you don't know what you don't.
Know, and it kind of sucks as someone who's spent so much on their wedding speaking from experience. Thankfully I haven't gone through a divorce yet, but the statistics are that more than half of all marriages here in Australia end up in divorce. Christ So nobody goes into a marriage with the expectation that's not going to work out. It's an expensive process with a lot of legal obligations
that you don't accidentally fall into. It's not oh, we woke up and we got married in Vegas, because you actually have to register a marriage in Australia or the intention to get married. I believe it's like more than two weeks before the wedding.
You can't like get drunk and just get shotgun married here.
It's not a thing. No, it's a month before the wedding and you can't just get shotgun married. So it was on an accident, like you guys did this and had enough thinking time to work out whether it is a good idea or not. And so I think just sitting down and yet reiterating what you were saying, I think my way of approaching it would be flipping the narrative. I'm not going to talk about my assets because that
can make me look really self absorbed really quickly. I'm actually going to say, hey, I want us and I want you to be protected. And I think that that's the best way to have a good conversation is immediately by putting yourself in their shoes. Like it does feel confrontational if I say, hey, Beck, we're getting married. I just want to make sure my stuff's protected from you, right Like that feels a bit like, oh, I didn't realize you were worried about your stuff being exposed to me.
Yeah.
Whereas if I approach the conversation with kindness and I say, hey, Beck, I love you with absolutely everything I have and I cannot wait to get married. But there's this podcast that I've been listening to and blame me. I want to be that person that you can just blame for anything. I don't care if you Barna doesn't like me, I really don't, so you can tell them that it's my fault. Oh, my friend Victoria told me about this really weird concept
of binding financial agreement kind of makes sense. What do you you think, Like, don't just start with being aggressive. I need to protect my stuff. Start with this open, honest conversation. Like, oh, I was listening to this podcast. I hadn't really thought about it because you're kind of
a long way down the track. So if you're talking about a binding financial agreement and this person is your fiance, you've already been their girlfriend or their boyfriend or their partner for a while, I'm assuming, and if this topic hasn't come up before, they might be a little bit jarred by it. So I think blaming another source or outsourcing it to become, you know, Jessin Beckham Victoria's fault.
I would love to be the reason you've got a binding financial agreement in place, like, I'm all for it. Use me, but I think sitting down and having that conversation is really important. And there's two folds to it. Right, So, as you guys know, I've spoken about it before I have one with my husband. It was established when we moved in together, not when we got married. We lived together four years before we got married. But I was like, ain't no man gonna take advantage of me? I don't
know if you know me well enough. But that obviously happened. But there were two conversations there. There was protecting the me that went into the relationship with my partner, and she didn't have the success and the situation that she's in today, so there was protecting that. But then there
was also protecting what we were creating together. And so for me, I know, and this might be different for everybody, but I know to get where I am today and have the life I have and have the assets that we have, regardless of who put what dollar ware, it was a joint effort between my husband and I, and so that is a very different conversation if we divorced,
as to you know, who owns what. The thing that was important to me was protecting my businesses because if my relationship doesn't work out, well, you guys know, I'll be even more obsessed with you, and I didn't want that to come into play. So those were the things I wanted to protect and then you know, Jess's situation is different again. She's buying a house on her and I didn't have property. When I got in a relationship with my husband, I was in debt, Like he didn't
have anything. I was like, do you want it? You can have it, but your circumstance is the actual physical house which someone could contest, whereas mine was a business. It might be a car, it might be an inheritance, it might be anything, but having these literally, do you know? When I was with my ex boyfriend, we got a cat, Bailey, the love of my life. The day I got him, I was like, by the way, this is my cat. Yeah,
Like I have paid one hundred percent for him. I will cover all of his costs because if we ever break up, because I think deep down I kind of knew it wasn't going to work out long term. I don't know. I didn't know at that time, Otherwise I wouldn't have been getting a pet with the person, right. I was like, this cat is mine. If we ever break up, this is my cat. It's not even a conversation I'm going to engage in. Yeah, And we broke up, and I was like, I'm glad I had that conversation Cat, let's.
Go lucky lucky and now I completely agree with all of that. I would say, make sure that your partner knows that you're not planning for the demise of your relationship, really, because I think that's maybe something that your partner might think and maybe a version of me that's not as secure with the person I'm dating, I would maybe think, are you preparing for us to not last? But the reality is am I not? It might, It doesn't matter either way. Better to be safe than sorry.
And better to have that conversation when you're in a good place, because if you're in a bit of an awkward position or you've just recently had an argument like now's not the time I love, like, don't bring it up then, because your partner will think that you're catastrophizing and maybe trying to protect yourself and like go down that thought pattern. Sure. I mean, if Steve cheats on me, I'm going to be taking him to the cleanness.
So that's the thing that would be Lark, good luck.
In your favor, yes, Spikdi. What did our community say? So? There were lots of comments, lots very similar to what Jess said, a lot of people said, go for it, just ask at an appropriate time and prepare for questions. They might not be on the same page as you. So that's a really good point bringing up that you might be so ready to have a conversation about a binding financial agreement, that does not mean that they are in the mental space for it. So I think pre
planning is important. Maybe going hey, Jes, I've been listening to this podcasts. They really recommend before we get married having a binding financial agreement. Do you want to have a chat about that at some point? Do you want to go away do your own research, have a bit of a think about it. You know, I'm going to do a bit more research too, Like I'm not ready to have the conversation yet, but go a wages, have a think about it, and then you know, maybe next
week over dinner we can have a chat. They've had the time to I guess absorb that do their own research instead of you bombarding them. Because arguably, if you've listened to our Binding financial Agreement episode, just listen to the conversations we've had about a state planning, you've listened to that you are so ready for that, and prepared and they might not be, so give them that grace. Someone else said, we have a separate account each and a joint one. It means that we have our own
safety net and we always will. How are you planning or managing money together as you grow? What does that look like? Are you getting married and then joining finances or is everything going to stay exactly the same as it was. Maybe we could have a bigger conversation about money and life and sorting stuff out after we get married. Is anything going to change? And then the binding financial
agreement could be part of that conversation. So it's just a little key part of the wider conversation about how we manage money because there's lots of things to consider. It's also like health insurance. It can be cheaper if you've got like a couple's policy.
Do we share a Spotify account? Oh my gosh, No, there's all the things as zerah.
No, we don't share a Spotify account because his music taste? Uh uh off my Spotify. Stop telling me I like this trash? I don't.
It does suck that you can't have individual accounts sharing spot Is it right?
No, that's not right. You can have different because like six people using my Spotify I can't remember, and I had no idea. I wasn't seeing their playlist. Oh okay, I see.
I don't know how that worked because my playlists become all of Stave's music, and then Taylor Swift gets the yeat and that's all I want to hear, accepted, all right. Someone says these really should have been a discussion before you got engaged, not weeks before. Don't need the judgment. We don't need the judgment asking now is the best time because you've just learned about it and you're just considering. I don't think we need to be going. I should
have already done that. You know what, there's a lot of things I should have already done that I've never done. You know what.
They say the best time to plant a tree is one hundred years ago, yeah, or today exactly, something like that.
They say it's beautiful. They also say that about investing, the best time to invest was one hundred years ago, but the second best time is today.
Yes, that's the way.
Know you said the exact same thing. I'm just really driving home that you were right. Thank you. Someone said I don't have a partner yet, but I've worked really hard and I will be protecting my assets. Yes, queen get a queen. Yes. Someone said she definitely should do it. If he's offended, then he has his head in the sand. You've been listening to my book. Someone said, more so for my peace of mind than what he thinks. He
will take it as he can. Oh. I just feel like we just need to approach all these conversations with a lot of kindness. And someone said, after losing a lot more than twenty thousand dollars to my ex, my now partner is the one who suggested I should protect myself.
Yeah, I like that's good.
I love that. And someone said she should just say exactly what she said in that message. It was very kind. Yes, So there's just been a lot of I guess support. I think the most important thing is that, yes, I agree, it would have been beautiful to have this conversation before getting engaged. But you don't know when you're going to get engaged.
No.
I knew because my partner had a ring and he told me he had a ring, and so I was really angsty about it. But like, not everyone's partner does that for them, you know, really totally so it might have been a surprise and you hadn't had that conversation yet.
Like maybe you just didn't think about it until right now. That's okay, exactly. You might be married already. Yeah, that's not too late to have that conversation. Yeah, Like I would be having that conversation irrespective of where you are in that journey of your relationship, because ultimately, it doesn't just protect you, it protects your partner.
And that's the point. It's a two sided agreement. It's not just me going, hey, just sign this. It puts me in the best position if you ever leave me. Ill No, no, David, el David still David. I don't get the reference, but I like it. Shit's Creak. I gotta watch that, do you know? My first dance was simply the best version from Shit's Creek. Iconic, truly iconic, and absolutely never posted that because it was a moment for me. Oh beautiful, but you can go look that up.
It was a very good song. Cool, you're welcome for the wedding song recommendation. My friend who's currently engaged to be a fiance or we engaged to be married. Exciting, all right, we will see you next week. Guys, have the best weekend. We love you all, and get your binding financial agreements in place a SAP, bye bye. The advice shared on Cheese on the Money is generally nature
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