Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to Sheets on the Money, the podcast millennials who want financial freedom with me today. I have a lady who knows just how much I love Christmas, Victoria Devine.
Hello, Yes, you are basically a Christmas Elf. And to be honest, when I saw that movie, is it Buddy the Elf?
Yeah?
Yeah, I was like, wow, this is yes, I am one hundred perform. Well, we can't be.
So excited though, because today's Christmas episode is not as fluffy as you guys have come to expect from us.
No, definitely not. Christmas is one of the most stressful times of year on all fronts, and we've had a lot of people reaching out and asking how they can balance their regular savings goals with the spirit of the season and all of the pressure that they're feeling as a result of that, and it's quite possibly one of the hardest things to manage at Christmas time. We want it to be special, we want to show people how much we love them and how important they are to us.
But at the same time, there's kind of this deadline thing at the end of the year. A lot of stuff is due, a lot of repayments. It seems like all of a sudden, life is just a real money pit, and I think that that really adds to that feeling of pressure that people experience.
Can we cancel that, you know, the thing where people will be like, oh my gosh, yes, it's coming towards the end of the year, we should catch up. Yeah, and then everybody wants to get drinks with you in December, and I'm like, babe, I'll be here in January, yeah, April, May, all of those other months that we didn't catch up.
Why now, Yeah, absolutely, it's all at once and it's really lovely that people want to spend time with you, but at the same time it can be very anxiety inducing I think for a lot of people.
Yeah, and I guess this episode has actually come from me having a few chats with a few friends coming up to the silly season where they're like, oh Christmas, I get so anxious and I was like, what about And it's like, it's about the spending, but also the expectation, and then kind of you know, if you're a young female, maybe you don't have the funds to buy really fancy presents for your parents when you really want to, but they have the funds to kind of buy you the
fancy presence. So you just feel like there's a bit of a power imbalance or an imbalance.
In what you want to get versus what you can get.
And I just think nobody should be going through that stress because at the end of the day, like summary of this entire episode, it's the thought that counts. So if you don't have much time, that is absolutely the main takeaway from here. But last year the insurer HCF actually revealed some research and that research said that seventy one percent of Australians will quote bracing for a stressful Christmas.
Twenty two percent of Australians felt well pressure to spend time with friends and family, which kind of makes sense. Nineteen percent of Australians felt pressure to spend too much money, and nineteen percent felt lonelier and sadder at this time of year. That breaks my heart because as much as I'm like, yeah, Christmas, spirit, festivity, and I'm so about it, it makes me really sad to know that it is a huge stress, like seventy one percent of people that it makes more.
People than not that can come to my Christmas.
Yeah, and it's a whole bunch of things that would be the final answers. The pressure to spend time with people or maybe feeling like you don't have people to spend time with. It's like a big pressure cooker of anxiety.
And if you don't have the closest relationship with your family, sometimes that just really exasperates it and makes it really obvious, because you know, you catch up with friends that are like, oh, I'm just going to mums for the weekend or I'm just doing this, and like having worked in the space where a lot of my clients have become some of my best friends, but a lot of my clients came
to me because of an inheritance. I often come up against this because I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm just going to my parents and they'll say something really kind, like have so much fun.
I wish I could do that.
Too, because most of those friends have lost a parent or both their parents, And it's just this really shitty period of time where I just want to scoop people up and be.
Like you can come to my Christmas, like you can borrow my family, Like.
Yeah, And I think that that's, you know, the Christmas spirit in a way. It's not about having this perfect nuclear family, like that's the abnormal outcome these days. It's actually about sharing and caring and anxiety. It shouldn't be a part of Christmas. And I think that if you knew your friend was experiencing that, you'd be like, oh, babe, like let's do this later, or don't get presents, or
reset the expectations. And I just feel like this time of year is not the time of year where we should, you know, have been working towards all of our financial and life goals to then in December throw all of that away. Because it's festive, Like, I just don't think
we should be doing that. So on today's show, we are going to be offering some solutions to the social and financial anxiety that ends up creeping up on us at this time of year to help you guys navigate the social and financial anxiety of the festive season.
All right, let's start by talking about how we spend at Christmas time. The I have some stats of my own that came from a study from MiQ Australia in twenty twenty two. Australians will increase spending, start shopping earlier and combine online product research with bricks and more to purchase for this festive season because everything that sounds good, that sounds good. Christmas decorations came out at the same time as Halloween decorations this year.
What the heck is that about. By the way, I was walking through Camart, I just can't. I can't with this world right now.
And it's totally because businesses a lack the longer it's out. And you know what, I am guilty of definitely buying some things in October. I'm not gonna lie to you.
However, Babe, you literally have to negotiate with your partner each year about putting your tree up in August.
I no, I try. I try and bring it back a little earlier every year. What about three extra days? What about three extra months?
Can we just keep the tree up year round and literally just perware Like I feel like there's a very good argument to keeping a tree up year round.
I think you're not wrong, but it makes sense that the first year post pandemic where we've really been able to do Christmas, I guess the way that we normally would and more than a third of Australians, which is thirty four percent piece specific, that.
Was definitely more than a third.
Yep, they're expecting to spend more this holiday season compared to twenty twenty one, despite the fact that inflation is on the rise and interest race and cost of living expenses are both skyrocketing as well.
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think we are trying to spend more this holiday season despite the fact that everything is more expensive? Inflation is literally crippling us, and I feel like everybody's mortgage is absolutely sinking them. Like what on earth, guys? I feel like it's a combo of two things. It's the fact that, like I said, it's the first year that we've maybe been able to see family and friends who are in interstate or spend time with a large group of people.
But it's also the lipstick effect that we've spoken about before.
But that's a good point where you've had, like, maybe not such a good year, So all of the small things are what you're happy to blow money on because like maybe you didn't get to get into your dream house this year, or you didn't get to do this big financial goal that you were working towards, so you're like, all right, well whatever, at least I can buy a really nice gift pack for Mecca, which I definitely will be doing this season.
Oh my gosh, we love them.
Vie.
What would you say your biggest stress point is at Christmas time?
Oh?
What would it be?
So?
I think the biggest stress point is actually, I don't know. I find gift giving really hard, so you would know the gift giving is definitely one of my love languages, funny because I don't like it back. I don't like other people paying for me or buying things for me. I literally get really is anxious the right word about that, Like when you give me a gift, I immediately go, oh my god, like, why why did you think that I needed this? Like, thank you so much, but also
like that was really expensive. You didn't have to. It gives me anxiety to think that I've put someone else out, which is something I clearly need to work on because that is not healthy. But I think it's about really finding the perfect present at this point in the year.
And I mean, I am.
In such a privileged position where Christmas for me, yeah, like we budget for it, but like I have the budget to you know, buy my parents some really nice gifts. But even though I have the budget, I still really stress about it. So just because you have the money for it doesn't make it an easy process.
Yeah.
I think.
In fact, you know, now that I have like my big girl job, I put a lot more pressure on myself to like get my parents really good gifts because I love them and I adore them and I want to show a really high level of gratitude to them, and because gift giving is one of my love languages. I put a lot of pressure on myself there. But I think that that also I need to go back and take some of my own advice because my parents don't care.
If I write my.
Dad a card, he'd be like, this is the best Christmas present I've ever gotten. And if you ask him what he wants for Christmas every year, jes like he's like, oh, love a new white T shirt because he just doesn't buy any of that stuff himself, and he knows that I'll go buy a good quality one. He's like, oh
love Country Road, such good quality Cottons. Like that impresses him, honestly, nearly as much as me going out and being like, I got this tool that you really liked and I thought really hard about.
He'd be like, oh, thanks so much.
I'll be like, that's the same reaction to the T shirt. So jess what kind of big stress points are being put on you.
I relate to the gift thing, I think because it's also one of my top love languages. Although unlike you, I love both giving and receiving gifts. I wish I was more not weird about it. Just it's a personal value thing, and I think when I reflect on it, the thing that I like about gifts, as you said, it's not about the financial amount, it's not about whatever it is. It's the fact that someone thought about you.
But that kind of plays into my stress up because for me, the thing that I really stress about is getting a gift for every person that I know. Like I will get a gift for my male man because he comes to my door ten thousand times a week. Like if I'm going to you're being serious right now. Our postal workers work very hard, and I absolutely do. But like, is that within budget? Because okay, I like this. I think that gratitude is really important. That's your way
of showing it. What are you getting the postman?
Though? Oh?
Only something small? Like it would be like maybe some chocolates or okay, I'm on board with that. Yeah, nothing.
Now you just make it feel guilty. I've never bought my postman a pressent. Bullshit. Sorry, I'm going.
But like, if I go to a Christmas dinner with friends, for example, and I'm like, oh, like, there's two people out of ten people that I'm really good friends with that I would normally buy a gift for. If I'm going to a Christmas and you don't I only give to some, I'm gonna buy a gift for every single person there, and I want to spend the same amount of money on every single person because I feel bad. And so for me, it's almost about wanting to show
love and appreciation and wanting everybody to feel included. And then I stress myself out because if I don't know someone well enough, I'm like, I don't know what, and it just becomes this big thing in my mind.
You are triggering me so much to a part of my money story that I had completely forgotten. And it's interesting because obviously gift gifting is my love language, and
it's absolutely my mum's love language as well. And I remember every year we'd do the Chrismas shopping and she would pick up like two or three additional quote gifts to wrap and put under the tree in case anyone popped over that she'd forgotten about, or we're going to like a last minute like Christmas drinks or something, so she could take a present and you know, make sure that people weren't forgotten about if she'd actually left them
off the radar. And I feel like you are cut paste my mother.
Yeah, we have a gifts cupboard, but it's like that thing, and I think you go take a step back. If I didn't buy a gift for my best friend's brother's cousin. I don't think they just crass about it. I think they didn't get me a gift, but it's just putting that I think wanting everyone feel good and wanting to show love to everybody, it does totally become bit of a money p here. And I'm very consciously and I do budget for it, and it's not like I'm putting
myself into debt. But that's something that I personally find quite stressful, is knowing where to draw the line.
That's a lot of pressure to think that you need to provide so much for other people that you don't even know. And it's funny because I was talking again before we organize this episode, like you're doing that for them, But Jess, if we all went out to a group dinner, you'd be like, well, I'm not going to pick up the tab for them. I don't know them. They can split the bill with me. So why do our values
change so much at Christmas time? Where I go from being like, oh, Jess, let's split the bill to oh, Jess, like, well, it's December, so I'm just gonna have a little bit more financial anxiety because I need to give you a gift like it makes no sense at all. So like, let's segue back into the episode that we have been trying to pull together, because I feel like we've gone on a little bit of a tangent, which, honestly, it's chees on the money, what were you expecting? But something
really worthwhile keeping in mind. According to McCrindle, an Australian based social research, demographics and done it analytics agency, the top three things Ozzies are most looking forward to it Christmas is spending time with family, the food and celebrations, and the Christmas chair. And also that Australians apparently value experiences over just more things, which I absolutely agree. So I feel like we need to put things in perspective. Jess,
does your postman really need a present? In light of all of this.
Conversation, I'm still going to buy a present for the postman, but maybe not for my best friend's brother's cousin.
Yeah, okay, no, no, But I mean I feel like I've got a good relationship with my postman. He knows where to put the parcel so Steve doesn't see them when he comes in. Oh my god, postman, just what am ten out of ten doing the most. Also, he's nice to my dog, and any person that's nice to a dog is a nice human.
I agree with all of that in mind, V what can we kind of do about this pressure that makes us more often than not blow our budget a little bit.
Out of proportion? All right?
So I've talked about this on the podcast before. I feel like we talked about it actually during our live shows earlier this year. But I want to talk about a really interesting way to drow up your Christmas list, and it's by identifying your love languages and that of
your intended gift recipients. So, Jess, you're acutely aware. And I mean this is probably half the postman because you don't really know him that well, But I mean you could pop out when he's dropping off your next Amazon pastor and me like, hey, mabe, I just want to talk to you about your love like which one is yours? Not creepy, just interested, just curious, just having a casual chat.
But understanding the love languages of your intended gift recipients is going to be really powerful, right because Jess, let's like use you and I in this circumstance, Like I do get a little bit uncomfortable with gifts, but I love experiences. I love things that are really thoughtful. I love things that people have spent time doing, not necessarily like, oh,
I hunted down this expense. You think like I just don't care about the stuff, And that's not me going over and occurb stuff, because Lord knows, I love stuff, but I want to buy it myself because that doesn't make me feel guilty. So if you were buying a gift for me, maybe you're not thinking about a thing,
but maybe something we could do together. And I think if we look at love languages, especially if you are a gift giver, and your instinct is to absolutely go into overdrive at this time, which Jessica, I'm literally hearing at you. But this isn't the way that every single person deciphers love and decipher's value. So I think that if your loved one is a quality time person or an active service person, like have a think about that. Like, I know my partner, Steve is a thousand percent active
service person. So I know that if I made up a really cute gift out to your book and like did all of these things and said we do this or that, or I'll you know, rub your feet if that's something that he's interested in, which is not by the way, it's just a really random example. I'm the one that wants to have my feet rubbed. I know he would value that above and beyond just getting another thing. He's just not a thing person. And maybe you don't
need to buy them a present. Maybe you can make like the voutro was talking about, or do a thoughtful act, or spend some time together and try and marry these up to rejuice the pressure that you put on yourself and your finances. So sure, you absolutely can't do this for everybody on your list, like your postmin or maybe your boss, but you'll very likely find that this will have an impact on the way that you spend at Christmas time from my perspective.
Absolutely, And if you're hearing us throw around the phrase love languages and you're like, what are we talking about, there's actually a test called the five lung languages, and it essentially categorizes the way we like to give and receive love. And those can be different, because, as you said, you lack to give gifts but not receive them, and so identifying the way that you like to display love and the way that your friends and family like to
receive love. You might find that more often than not, you don't need to be spending money. Maybe it's just about carving out some time to say, oh, let's go to a picnic together, and you can spend twenty dollars into a really nice DIY cheese board. Buy yourself like a you know, five to ten bottle of wine.
Is it fit twenty five dollars audi cheese board, pick up some lum your rose.
You are on your way, my love, You are on your way.
And it's you know here in Oz, it's summertime. It's a great time to get outdoors and celebrate with people. And you don't necessarily have to have money. If you don't know your love languages. There is a free quiz that you can do online. We'll link in the show notes.
Yeah.
Absolutely, I think it's really interesting as well, Like I keep being like, what do you mean? I don't like giving gifts, so I love the idea of giving gifts.
I just feel ah awkward about it.
And in saying that, I also think that there's this idea that you have to go out to celebrate, Like I love the idea of being like, hey, Jess, do you and James want to come over? Like I'm going to make this Lazonia or whatever I'm going to make. Do you want to bring dessert? And like we'll provide the wine or whatever. Cheap night really exciting. I'm going to go old school here and say that I break out the board games a fair bit when free.
I was just gonna say that board games, if you give someone a board game, you can usually get them for twenty dollars or less. And if you popped a little note saying here's a board game and an I owe you for a night, you know, with our couples or with our group of friends, that's really cute.
That is really cute. And Kmart have some really cheap ones. Okay, I've just thought of a gift or the fly that I think you're gonna love, Jess. So again, I'm just like pumping Audi's tires up. They aren't sponsoring this. I'm just like a megafan they recently won. I think it's like a gold Award for their peanut gricio. It's four ninety five bargain, get a bottle of wine, buy a really cheap board game. It doesn't even have to be like a branded board game. It could just be an
activity that you do together. That's the gift. Yeah, ten to fifteen dollars, and it's thoughtful. And you could write a really cute card and it could be a you can't open this until we're having dinner together.
Like, how cute is that?
I turn out of ten would love that present because it's the thought that counts.
Yess, I love that. I think that is such a sweet idea. Let's dash to a break and then when we come back there, I want to talk through your list of tips that I know you've always got about how to keep Christmas on track financially.
Don't go anywhere back, Cancel Christmas. That's the plan. No, please, don't.
Welcome back everybody. Today we're talking about Christmas, the social and financial pressures and anxiety that a lot of us feel around that time, and most importantly, how we can avoid that.
And Victoria all right, Jess, well, I guess the answer to this is actually just to cancel Christmas.
Oh my gosh, Please no, tell me you've got some other good options on your list for me. No, I mean I've got a few options on my list but honestly, if you just entirely skipped this period of the year, like you would save so.
Much money, you would, But I don't want to do it. No, we're not going to be doing that. So do I even need to say this as the first tip? Yeah, Like, we need to set a budget. We need to identify how much you've got to spend and what you want to spend per gift or buy each category. So don't discount homemade gifts or practical presence or experiences in the gift of time through babysitting or cooking dinner for a
loved one. I've got a few girlfriends who have had their first babies this year, and honestly, it's the most exciting thing in the entire world. I get called Auntie Tory and I get to steal their babies and it is my favorite thing. But being so close to them now, I know that they would absolutely adore babysitting. Here is a gift voucher. I'm gonna come over obviously if you're
trusted with the kid. I think that this is like a pretty fickle area because you can't just be like, oh, just give it a ches and just it's like I don't want you to look after aid, but I think it's like one of those things where if you know you're trusted with the baby, be like, hey, I'm going to come over and give you like a night off. You can go and have your own date night. Money win, and you get to spend some quality time with a kid that you love.
Like that's huge. I'm obsessed.
But don't feel like you have to spend every dollar you've allocated either, Like, if you see a really good gift for like sixty dollars and your budget was seventy five, please bank that difference or reallocate it to something else. Don't just be like, oh, well I budgeted seventy five dollars for Jess's gift. I really should get another extra thing to add on. Like, that's not what we do. That is not a smart money decision. I love and
then know your shopping style, so think about it. If you're more likely to overspend when you're in the store and feeling a bit sentimental, maybe we need to do a little bit more online shopping. But if you're more likely to go overboard online by adding everything to your cut and just quote working it out later, maybe you need to go physically into the store. You can't just get click happy and add everything to your cut because
it doesn't feel as real. The other thing I would say is listen to our points Hack episode and use your loyalty or rewards points. Thinking about your shop back. Cash back is probably a really good thing right now. I mean, shopback's not gonna love the factor that I'm telling you all to take all your money out all at the same time, but anything you've accumulated is gonna discount what you actually have to spend on Christmas. Make a list and check it twice or just stick to it.
I don't even care how many times you check it. It's estimated each and every single year that waste increases by thirty percent at Christmas.
So do your bit for the.
Environment and your budget and make a list, maybe on the back of a piece of recycled paper, so that we're not contributing to that additional waste. As well as gifts and stuff like that for your nearest and dearest, you also need to factor in group gifts, so like
Chris Kringles and wrapping paper and postage and decorations. I cannot tell you how much money over the years I have spent on last minute gift ropping gift bags and cards because I just haven't pre planned it and don't have my stash of one dollar cards from the two dollar shop, you know, Like, I just feel like being prepared at this point of the year is a really really good idea. And then also plan the festive food that you're going to prepare so that you don't over
cater and throw food out. And potentially this is another tip that I got from my mum, if you're making like a really big salad, which maybe you are maybe not, don't put all the dressing on the salad, like put the salad dressing on the side, because you can't put salad back in the fridge. If it's covered in dressing,
it goes all soggy and gross. But if people just put their dressing on the plate, you can pop the salad back in the fridge and then have it for a few days instead of it all going soggy and you're having to throw it out because it's absolutely gone to absolute sh one t as my dad would say. Yes, the next thing I want to say is suggest that your family and friends only buy gifts for the kids
or organize a like secret center among adults. So in my family we do this, so under the age of eighteen you get presents regardless if you're over the age of eighteen, you go into the family Chris Kringle and then you only have to buy one present for one person. And given we have a larger extended family, this ends
up working out really really well. And I kind of like when a present turns up and I have no idea who it's from until Christmas Day and then I'm like, oh my gosh, it's from my aunt or whatever it is, and it's actually really really sweet. So definitely set a budget and stick to it. But I promise you're not the only ones stressing about finance. Like, if you're stressing about it, Jess, your sister's probably stressing about it.
If your sister's stressing about.
It, your parents are probably a little bit worried. Because finance is something that is universally stressful. It's not just you who's worried about it, it's everybody. We're going through a crisis of an increasing cost in living. We shouldn't be surprised about these things. But I think up until now it's always been so taboo to talk about. It's always been like, oh, don't say that money stresses you at Christmas time. Christmas time is about giving.
No, it's not.
It's about also being festive and kind and general, and sometimes you need to do all of those things for yourself. Obviously, I'm gonna say, find low cost ways to have fun. We talked about board games and dinners at friends' houses, but literally, don't let money be the thing that cuts you off from your friends and family. Like last year during COVID, I learnt and I don't know how is this legal?
I don't know, Jess. You're about to tell me.
I learned how to make a really good espresso martini and put it in a frank green cup and go for walks with my girlfriends. You can do that at the park. You could probably don't do it at the children's park, but you could walk through the park and go for a walk with a cocktail in hand and have a really fun time. And if you can't afford super expensive restaurants, but you really like a cocktail with a girlfriend, invite or over. Say hey, Jess, do you
want to do a cocktail night at my place? You'll obviously say yes, and I'll be like, Okay, cool, I'm going to bring this spirit and these sides, and you bring that spirit and these sides, and we're just making it together by ourselves.
So cute.
So cute, but also far more budget friendly. I think that there's this idea that if Jess, you're coming to my house, I must cater for absolutely everything, and it's a bit rude to ask you to bring something to my house, Like is that I feel like that's a thing.
Yeah, but I agree.
I grew up and my mum always said don't turn up empty handed. Ever, Like if you're going over to someone's house for dinner, like you would always take chocolates or a gift or whatever it is, Like why don't you just make that a really productive quote gift or Hey Jess, why don't you do dessert?
Or I will do dinner.
I just feel like I have a lot of feelings on this, and I also think that that doesn't need to be expensive either, Like there's something really wholesome about being, hey Jess, do you want to come over to dinner? We're having spaghetti Bollonneis it does not have to be a fancy steak that you never make at home. Why don't you just make a classic that you know is well loved, Like, I know you're gonna love it. Jess is a past a fiend. Ten out of ten invited
to my house, feedo pasta. It is cheap, it is easy, and she's going to have a fun time. I like that a lot, And now as you like pasta a lot, Jessica, it's very true.
Let's come to talking about how over Christmas it often gets a little bit overwhelming for people in terms of mental health and you know, feeling good about ourselves. How can we reframe those expectations into useful or practical conversations that we can have with the people around us to
kind of take the pressure off of ourselves a little bit. Yeah, this goes back to like the community around you, in the circle that you have around you, and I think it's really important to weigh up all the obligations and wants over that period of time and remember that it is a really short period of time and that other people in your circle probably have those same pressures being applied to them and saying, hey, jes how are you just catch up in the new year when we're both
a little less stressed, they'll be like, oh, yeah, great, no worries. I think sometimes, like, for example, if I said to you, Hey, Jess, we really need to catch up before Christmas, you might get a pang of guilt, like, oh, if he really wants to do that. I might be asking you because I feel guilty because I haven't seen you in nearly twelve months and I've just realized that I haven't caught up with what I thought was a really good friend in almost twelve months, and I'm a
little bit stressed about it. If you turned around and said, oh my gosh, this time of year is crazy. How about we sit down and have a proper dinner together in the new year, I'd be like, oh, great, no worries to yes. So I think you need to remember that you're not the only one experiencing this stress. There's a lot more demand on our time and our energy and our finances during this time that you're not the only one that is going to be stressed by this.
Yeah, that's a really good advice there.
And on the flip side of that, for people who are feeling isolated or lonely, maybe they've got past trauma or they're not super close with their family. Christmas can be particularly triggering, and we know that the festive season is not so festive for everybody, and it's a time when we see suicide rates increase and mental health crises escalate as well. What are some things that we can keep in mind for ourselves and the other people around us when considering mental health over Christmas?
Yeah, look, one hundred percent, And it's honestly so important to keep this front of mine at this period of time. I mean during the entire year, it is really important. But Christmas makes people feel extra lonely because it's that one holiday during the year, because it's not like a birthday where it's your birthday and it's not mine, Jess.
It's that one period of the year where everyone is showering each other in love, showering each other in attention, and it can feel extra lonely and it breaks my heart. But split families and unresolved complex do contribute to Christmas anxiety, and family and relationship problems can be a massive trigger for anxiety. And there's a few things that I want
us to think about. So first things first is to set really realistic expectations like Christmas might not actually be that sunshine and lights and fabulous family reunion that you'd ever hoped for. So maybe plan how you might manage these feelings during that period of time, Like are you going to feel extra anxious? Are you going to feel
a little bit depressed during this time? Like can you give the gift of a phone call and check in with a friend or a family member, Like, we know this is a really lonely period of time for some people, but also when it comes to family, Oh, it's a bit of a controversial, inspicy topic, Like you don't have to spend time with people who make you feel like shit jes Like you can call it and be like,
I'm just using not to engage in that. And it might not be the stereotypical thing, it might not be a cultural thing, but I just think that you putting your mental health first and going gin know what? That is not worth it for me? Yeah, is one becoming
fun or popular these days? But too just so important and such a strong decision to make, Like if you have an incredibly fractured relationship with a family and you're like, oh far out, Like I've been really dreading Christmas Day because I have to go to my parents' house and I have to do this and I hate them. I don't like them, I don't want anything to do with them. Why does this one part of the year have to change if you don't want to engage with them at
any other part of the year. I think setting realistic expectations about one how you feel, but to how you're going to manage it is really important. And asking yourself the question if I was being kindest to myself, what would I do? It's probably a really good place to start, because often we ask ourselves what.
Should I do? And what should you do?
Usually comes from other people's expectations, But the answer to the question of what is the kindest thing I could do for myself in this situation comes from you actually putting yourself first. And I think that that is really
really important. Or if you are lonely, or even just really low and cash and still want to give back, you can volunteer some time for national organizations like the Red Cross or Saint Vincent to Paul or literally there are so many places, and the one place I would visit is like your local council website and see if there's like a Christmas lunch happening that you could volunteer some time at, Like, that's such a good way of giving back, and it's definitely not what you expect it
to be. I remember one year my mom was like, hey, girls, like I really want you to see that Christmas is not the same for every single family, And instead of having family lunch at our dinner table as we always would with our family, we literally went down to a community Christmas lunch and helped serve that and do that.
And that was one of the most wholesome experiences of my entire life, because one, it gave me a really beautiful sense of gratitude, but two, I was like, there are all these really cool people here that I got to spend Christmas with, and there's just so much love floating around there. So if you are on your own,
that could be a really good opportunity. And another one if you're lonely or you are on a budget, is attend community events like find out what's local and get involved, whether it's Christmas carols or wandering through a local market. Getting out and about can really help relieve loneliness. And if you're on a budget, why not back a little picnic yeah, why not do it on your own and
listen to the Christmas carols? Like that's so wholesome and so beautiful and you don't need another person's permission to enjoy your time on your own. So I think that's probably a really good place to leave it, Miss Jessica Ricci, because the second I said Christmas carols, your eyes lit up, and I knew you weren't going to be around for the rest of their.
I'm ready to go listen to all Hour of Christmas is You on repeat? But just to summarize, we totally understand and both can really relate to feelings of anxiety around Christmas, and that can be very confronting because you go, oh, I'm meant to be happy, but I'm sad. Why is that? And that's so okay. We just want you to know that if you're putting pressure on yourself, it's not necessary.
And if you're finding that this time of year is exasperating existing mental health conditions, reach out and chat to somebody. We'll have some resources in the show notes, because unfortunately, mental health doesn't take a day off just because it's Christmas.
All right, guys, that is all we have time for today, and we'll see you on Friday.
See you then.
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