MONEY DIARIES: Turning Life Around After Parental Financial Abuse - podcast episode cover

MONEY DIARIES: Turning Life Around After Parental Financial Abuse

Nov 26, 202330 min
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Episode description

This weeks beautiful money diarist will definitely restore your faith in humanity.

After being financially abused by her parents for the first half of her life, and clawing her way out of $23,000 in debt, she now owns a home, and is the shared carer of her 16-year-old sister. This weeks money diarist, truly has one of the biggest hearts, you'll be inspired after listening to this one.

Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.

The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

Speaker 2

Let's get into it.

Speaker 3

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Speaker 2

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast and millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries, which are my favorite episodes of the week. It is absolutely no secret where I get the opportunity to talk to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it sounded like this. Hi, Victoria, my

money story is a little grim. I was financially abused by my parents up until the age of nineteen, when I slowly started to cut them off. I worked full time and went to UNI to get my life back. I clawed my way out of twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt, and when my grandmother passed away, I bought a house from her estate. I now work and study full time and have recently taken on a shared

care role of my sixteen year old sister. Oh my gosh, money darist, you just sound like the most special human being in the entire world.

Speaker 4

Ah, I don't feel that way. I don't feel very special. I feel like I've just done what I had to do and it's all waked down. You do what you do because you have to do it.

Speaker 2

I love that. But too many people don't step up to the plate, and you did. I mean, I don't know nearly enough about your shared care role of your sixteen year old sister. I'm going to because I'm gonna ask six million questions about it. Because that's what's so great about Money Diaries. I could be pervy because you're anonymous, but that's where you know your sister could have ended

up in the foster system. Like there are so many different outcomes, and when I say that you're a special human, Like you are a special human because you stepped up. That's elite that I think so many people in this situation or in similar situations always go yeah, V like I don't feel that special, Like I just did what I had to do. Do you know how many people don't do what they should do? Wild? But let's do a money story and a money diary, because I am

very excited to learn more about you money diarist. I always start the episodes with the same question, so let's begin there. I want to know what grade would you give your money habits if I forced you to give them a grade from A through to F.

Speaker 4

I thought about this really hard because I think over the years, I feel like I've flitted properly between an F to an A. I think at the moment, i'd probably give myself a seat plus.

Speaker 2

A C plus. All right, let's learn more about that. But first I want to know can you tell me a little bit more detail about your money story.

Speaker 4

So obviously, as I've mentioned, I was financially abused by my parents. I first got a job when I was fourteen in hospitality, as many of us do, and some of my earliest memories is my parents turning around to me like, all right, cool, let's go pick up your paycheck. So it was all passion hand I know. It was just like i'ld maybe get fifty bucks out of it. We weren't talking much, maybe two hundred bucks to start

off with. I'd be getting paid because I was working in school at the same time, of course, but it sort of went to their hands fast for the betterment of the family. So I'm one of seven, oh wow, so there's a few of us sloking around. The responsibility sort of felt on me. My eldest brother just wasn't really in the picture at home. So yeah, I was

always caring for my siblings. Made you feel really guilty if I didn't can over any money or anything like that, Like I was selfish for wanting to keep it for myself or we need it for this, or there's bills coming up, or there's a school camp, or there's this, And I felt like alledgeos, felt like I was the person that everreon leaned on, and so that sort of

had carry on effects in itself. So from that, obviously having a really rough sort of childhood and growing up, we came from places where we had lots of money sometimes and then didn't. My parents are both addicts, both alcoholics, so really struggled with that side of things as well, and that sort of really exasperated the ups and the downs. Wow a to be and much worse than what they were. So I moved out of home at sixteen. I was still giving money to my parents at this point in time.

My first thing I did was get on suddenly, and then that was taken as well. I was getting more money, going to school, just really doing my best, and then from their working in hospitality, I managed to find my way into twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt.

Speaker 2

Which makes sense when all of your income's being taken off you.

Speaker 4

Yeah, So I moved states a couple of times. I moved from wa to Tasmania and then back again, and just sort of floated around. I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to do or anything like that. And in that time, my grandmother got really sick. So she was probably the only the stable person in my life for all of my life. She was very financially literal, was always like, got to put extra money in your soup.

I've got to do this. If I was in a really bad situation where I needed money, she was the first person to be like, you just come to me, you talk to me, we can figure it out.

Speaker 2

I love that.

Speaker 4

She was a very special person. She went a lot to me, and she didn't always just hand me solutions. She didn't always just give me money. It was always like, all right, cool, how do we get out of this, how do we avoid this in the future.

Speaker 2

Oh, she had your best interests at heart always. I love this. I love that you had that human in your life.

Speaker 4

You really did.

Speaker 3

So.

Speaker 4

Yeah. She unfortunately passed away in twenty twenty. So that was a really long battle with cancer.

Speaker 2

So have Oh I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4

It was coming for a really long time. And I think it was a lot harder to watch her be sick than it was to lose her, because seeing a lose who she was was far more impactful than Yeah. So I put just a house out of her estate. She was quite financially literate, so her partner was left with everything, which was always the plan according to us in the family. That was not the plan. That was

not discust. So when I purchased the house, I was told that I was stealing everyone else's inheritance weddings, was frightened with lawyers, which I knew they didn't have the money to engage, which was sort of a bit of competent.

Speaker 2

You were kind of like, good luck you bye. Yeah.

Speaker 4

It was really stressful, especially with my grandmother being sick. I think that was sort of one of the bigger reasons that I didn't speak to my parents anymore, among other reasons, just what was happening with the kids, just not watching them being able to be parents, seeing them go through what I went through, was really difficult to interact with them.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 4

Yeah, so that was a bit spicy. The year after my grandmother passed, I decided to start studying, so I'm a full time student at the moment. At the time I was part time. I studied urban and regional planning and I also work full time now. So after my first year, I decided to be a bit ambitious and just go for graduate roles anyway, and was really lucky that someone hired me.

Speaker 2

Oh my gosh, I love this so much, get it. Thank you, Oh my gosh, I love that. Like if you don't ask, you don't get right.

Speaker 4

So I've been there for a year now, and I've probably got about eighteen months left to study it, but nine minutes left. So I'm going to take those a little bit slower than I have been.

Speaker 2

Yeah, fair, I mean you've already got the job, so take it slow.

Speaker 4

My friend whine and they really loved me.

Speaker 2

Yeah, good as they should.

Speaker 4

No, it's good. This year about me, things sort of started falling apart. So my sister foked me up one day and said that she needed me to come get her. She's quite sick. Convenient to go to the doctors and stuff like that, generally bad uti. Yeah, and was just had a lot of pain and was like, Mom said that she might take me. There's always going to be different aspects of things, three sides to a story. But oh, of course I know what I went through in that home, and.

Speaker 2

You can empathize with it and go, all right, I see what your experience might have looked like.

Speaker 4

Yeah, So went I picked her up, and she sort of just unloaded on me. So she's herself been going through a really tough time. She has attending school for the last two years. Just has been getting yourself into a little bit of trouble. Boys and men and stuff. Like that it's a little bit undesirable. I said, all right, that's it. That's the end of it. You're coming to stay with me. So I did that.

Speaker 2

See, that's the stepping up we're talking about.

Speaker 4

Sometimes you just have to deal.

Speaker 2

With Okay, you had to do it, but also some people don't. Can you please give yourself a little bit of credit? You're the sister you needed, right.

Speaker 4

Yes, I had such a great support system growing up with friends and my grandma, and I know things will work out the way they're meant to work out. But I had a lot of support, So why should I not give that support to someone else.

Speaker 2

I love that, But like, we're just going to work on giving you a little bit more credit. This entire episode, my love flack so much credit where credit is du MYO? All right, well let me talk to her too. Tell me a little bit more about So your sister has just moved in. When you say it's a I guess shared care role, what does that actually look like for you?

Speaker 4

So she's sixteen, so obviously she's still like to hang out with her friends. Of course, so she was sort of living between places when she came to me. Anyway, I think being out of home has repaired her relationship with my parents a little bit as well, So she does go back home. She's also old enough, not that she should be making your own decisions, but she's going to anyway.

Speaker 2

Yes, of course.

Speaker 4

So there's really a lash of control that I have. If I could wrap her up and bubble wrap and keep us forever in my bedroom, I would.

Speaker 2

You would, Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4

At the moment, it looks mostly I'm saying like a four days with me, three days elsewhere. Yeah, I've gotten her enrolled in her school. She starts in a fortnight.

Speaker 2

Oh my gosh, that's so exciting.

Speaker 4

Yeah, so they're going to help her work towards their general education stiff forget, just so we can look at tastes and stuff like that. She's really interested in mechanics, and it's just nice to see her have a new lease on life.

Speaker 2

Really, Oh my gosh, that is so wholesome. I mean, I'm excited to learn more about your sister, but this episode, my friend, is about you, so I need to pivot back to you. But it makes me so happy that she's back on track. So in your money story, you obviously wrote in and said, look, I was financially abused

by my parents up until the age of nineteen. You mentioned before, it's looked a lot like having your paychecks taken off you and you know, not having the freedom that you should have had, and you know, essentially not being respected at all. But how did that come to be? Is that kind of them going, we desperately need the money and they don't realize they're doing that, or is this a mindset that they're just in, well, you're my child,

If you made money, that's my money. Like, I'd love to know a little bit more about not how it happened, because it's not anybody's fault, but like how they seem to justify their behavior.

Speaker 4

Well, it's definitely a discussion I've had with them since as well, because it didn't happen to my elder brother. He was two years older than me, so he was also working and he was also doing all these things, and it seemed to fall a lot on me, which I think was to do with me being in the house. I think it came from a place of they were so desperate for money that that was the option. And then the time you ask is always going to be

the scariest. And then it gets easier after that. So fifty dollars turned into one hundred, turned into two fifty, turned into hundreds and thousands. I genuinely couldn't even count how much was taken over the years, and it was always we've got no food, we need this, We've got a bill coming in, the power be cut off, the

water will be cut off. And there was points where it was I had to shower at a friend's house, and it was always that it was so necessary for me to do this because if we didn't, bad things would happen. They come from a place where they didn't have a lot of money growing up either, so anytime we got anything in it was spent immediately. I remember when mum got a baby bonus one year and the government brought out one thousand dollars to have a baby. As soon as I hit her account, it was spent.

We went came out, we bought some bits, we bought some stacks. I remember I bought some hair dye and that was like a little tree, and it was just as soon as it came in, it went, And whether that was Bill's food or other, or if it was on substances and alcohol, it was just completely gone.

Speaker 2

I'm so sorry that you've been through that. But it's always interesting how people justify that and how they look back on it. Is this a conversation that you've now had with your parents, Like are you in contact with them now or have you just decided that that's not for you?

Speaker 4

I am now for the sake of my sister, only because I have to be. I'm older now, so like I'm twenty six, I've been out of the house for ten years. Anytime we did converse, it was an argument, and it was like yelling, screaming, pushing, like it got really really aggravated really quickly, and a lot of that didn't happen. A lot of ghosting me into no, we didn't do that. It wasn't like that, you're interpreting rock,

you don't look at it this way. So a lot of just telling me that that wasn't how it happened. And I'm fine to sit there and say that, hey, your experience might have been different to mine. Yeah, but you're not going to negate on my experience either.

Speaker 2

Of course not. And at the end of the day, as much as you were fifteen, you know, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, you're still a child. It's not a child's responsibility to run the family home. It was the parent's responsibility to step up and get a new role, or tackle their substance abuses or you know, cut back on alcohol. Like there were so many different factors at play that this

wasn't actually your problem to solve. And I think a lot of the time, when you are fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, you can be persuaded into this idea that well, you're an adult now, like you can, you know, contribute to the bills. And I do believe that there is a

healthy way to do that. Like, you know, I've spoken to people on the show before who live with a single mum and they're like, no, no, no, I've been contributing to bills since I had an income because I just really wanted to support mum and it was my idea. And you know, it's a beautiful conversation, but that's not the conversation we're having here. And I think that sometimes in situations like this, the parents I guess persuade themselves

into going. But that's what was happening, right, Like they just wanted to contribute to the household, and it's like, well, I'm a child, and I should still have the ability to grow up, and you know, at the end of the day, make some decisions on my own, learn my own money story, not have it taken away. So it honestly breaks my heart that you were in that position. But this idea that you completely clawed your way out

of twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt. Okay, so you got into debt, it makes absolute sense how you got there. I cannot empathize more. How did you get out of twenty three thousand dollars debt?

Speaker 4

So basically you're eighteen and then combain and sends you a letter in Mexi saying you go, you're eligible for a credit card. And so I took out one, and then I took out two, and then it was a person alone to cover that debt. I was traveling at the time, so I'd moved sort of states as flying around and seeing friends. Travel was definitely something I value. Couldn't tell you what I spent the money on now, but that's a different story.

Speaker 2

I'm not asking that. That doesn't matter.

Speaker 4

So it became a bit of a game. It was like, all right, so the repayments of this So remember getting calls in the middle of the week work and I'd be like, you have a major minimum repayment for this amount of time. I think I just hit a point where I was like, no, I'm not doing this anymore. So started hitting my minimum repayments and I was like, oh, I can actually pay more than this. I'm putting money into savings. I can pay fifty dollars my one hundred.

And I think towards the end of paying off the debt, I was paying off nine hundred dollars a week.

Speaker 2

Oh my gosh, no you weren't. Yeah, that's so much money.

Speaker 4

It was just really fun to see that number drop, to not have anyone ring me, and it has control over the situation.

Speaker 2

Again, it's snowballs, right Like, once you're close to the end of a debt repayment journey, you just end up throwing so much at it because you're like, go way, go ay, Like it just feels like it's so much more impactful, right Like, It's crazy how much gratification you get out of that. Yeah.

Speaker 4

I think that's probably my biggest accomplishment is getting out of that because it wasn't easy and it was something that I really had to learn for myself.

Speaker 2

Oh, I love it so much. All right, let's get back on track with the questions, because I like to go rogue, but we can't be too rogue. Tell me now, you said that you're working full time. What do you do for work and how much money do you win?

Speaker 4

So I am a graduate planning office, so I work in urban and regional planning space in a local government, so making decisions on development in the area. I gotta pay rize this week. Actually, so I'm on a sixty five thousand, eight hundred and seventy two dollars. I'm super on top of that as well.

Speaker 2

Oh my gosh, super on top of that. I love how specific you are too. Most people would say, oh, I'm on sixty five or I'm on sixty six, but you're like, no, I'm on sixty five thousand, eight hundred and seventy five dollars, and then I also get super contributions. I'm probably gonna argue with you at the end of this episode about that C plus you gave yourself before, because no one's that financially literally, you know, like, I don't feel like you don't give yourself enough credit. That

is so exciting. You mentioned before that you got out of debt. Tell me about what your current big money goals are, Like, what are you currently working towards.

Speaker 4

I had this really grand idea that I wanted to own four houses for four thirty.

Speaker 2

Oh big dog. I like that.

Speaker 4

We love thick goals. I think if anything, I've lined over the years, so I can literally do anything. I've just got to actually work at it. So yeah, I would really love to have four houses before thirty and be an ethical landlord, so be able to give the option to people like single mothers and stuff like that, and have a choice if there's applications in front of me where I can see that someone is struggle or might not be looked at favorably, and I can say yes to that.

Speaker 2

I love that. See at the start, you know, I was like, you're such a special human being and you're like, no, I'm not. All right, Well just keep digging your hole. That's fine money, Diaris. Let's go to a really quick break and on the flip side, And when I ask you about your investments, your debts, what this plan to actually get into four investment properties before you're thirty looks like? And your best and worst money habits, so guys don't

go anywhere. All right, we are back money diarist. I am so excited to learn a little bit more about you and your journey, but I actually want to start with investments. Do you have any investments? If so, what are they? If not, what's the plan?

Speaker 4

So obviously I've mentioned I'd like to invest in houses and stuff like that. At the moment, I don't have any additional investments. Outs all don't have spaceship. I have my Super, so Super at the moment is sitting in around forty two grand. So we've worked. They do eleven percent to start off with, I contribute six and then they match me with that six as well, So I think that puts me up at twenty three percent at the moment, which is really cool and really exciting because

of recently seeing that grow. At the moment, I'm.

Speaker 2

Sorry just reminding everybody that you said you're a C plus, yet you're here with such clarity on what you earn and you're contributing twenty three percent to Souper. But okay, I'll just go back to my hole, no worries.

Speaker 4

And then I also have one thousand dollars in spaceship.

Speaker 2

Oh so you do have some investments? You said, I don't have anything else, and then you're like, I have one thousand dollars in spaceship, and I also have a plan to buy four houses before I'm thirty. That's an investment plan, my friend. That's exactly what you've got there.

Speaker 4

It feels really small at the moment. It's like savings. You don't what I mean, It's like baby savings.

Speaker 2

I'm sorry, are you here on literally the She's on the Money Show comparing your journey to that of others after I've told you, literally for the past nearly five years not to do that wild but okay, ah, I just want to sit you down and be like, do you know how you are?

Speaker 1

Like?

Speaker 2

Do you know how great this is? Like there are honestly going to be people listening to this and being like, wow, look at the journey she's been on. You know, she got out of this circumstance at age nineteen. She was in a mass amount of debt. Now you're getting your life back together, you're working and studying and honestly slaying it, and you're here going, oh, it's not very good in comparison to other people, Yet at such a young age,

you are contributing twenty three percent to SUPER. Like this to me is just wild, Like it's so inspiring, it's so beautiful. But my favorite part about this is you're not going to become your parents because you have such clarity on what your future looks like. And I think that that is like the best thing out of this whole journey, Like you can quite clearly articulate why you don't want to be them, and you haven't said that, but it's quite clear that you're crafting this journey that

wasn't shown to you. You're crafting your own journey and putting yourself in this position, and you've done it yourself. Like, do you know how many people are in the same position as you because of privilege, because they've actually been sped all of this information, they've been told to, you know,

contribute more to SUPER by their parents. They've been given a leg up, they've been given all these opportunities, and they've maybe dragged their feet for a few years because union life is fun and why not bother failing a few times and there's no judgment on that. But I don't think you're giving yourself nearly enough credit.

Speaker 4

No, thank you.

Speaker 2

You are out of debt. But I do want to ask do you have any debts? If so, what are they? If not, what's the plan to stay out of debt except for like mortgages and stuff moving forward?

Speaker 4

So I have one mortgage at the moment, which is my primary residence. So I owe two hundred and fifty five thousand dollars on the house. Estimates from the bank put it at about three fifty. Real estate markets put it about five twenty. Oh very nice, not too sure that. And then I have my hextet as well, So my hex day is currently fourteen thousand dollars. I'm in my second year. I've got nine minutes left, so probably going to go up a little bit, but don't expect it to go more than thirty.

Speaker 2

I love that. Now, tell me a bit more about this plan to own four houses before the age of thirty. So you're one down, which I mean that's literally twenty five percent towards this goal. So that's amazing. But what's the plan for the next house? Is this something that you're looking at in the near future, Like, how are you planning on purchasing this house and getting the next step some sort.

Speaker 4

Of halfway between. At the moment, obviously my mortgage is quite low, my borrowing capacity isn't quite mixed out at the moment, so obviously need to start earning more money to have a higher borrowing capacity, and when light to is get putty from my house. That I have focus at the moment is just paying down as much of the mortgage as I can, so smashing that out, so I've got a little bit more wiggle room with what

i could do next. I also have a partner, so we've been together before two and a half years now, which definitely considered buying, and it's something that is looking at doing independently of me. So it's just sort of the way that timing wakes out with my sister with the house and with him buying on how we sort of do things that approach things in the future. So don't really have a solid man in pace, but have got a few different options that I'm just happy to explore and see how things work out.

Speaker 2

But no, I really like that. I think it's solid, but it's also really reasonable given the position you're in, it makes a lot of sense. Money Diarist, you got out of twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt. I feel like you might have a few cheeky good money habits, my friend, what are your best money habits? Do you think?

Speaker 4

I think, as mentioned before, my best money habit is just seeing debt and bills is a game to pay. So I'm ahead on all of my bills at the moment. What are electricity, gas, all of it? I like just putting that little bit extra. So if the bill comes in it two seventy, you're like, all right, let's do three fifty and let's just stop that and keep on going. So paying forward and sort of buying myself a little bit of security in future. And it's definitely how I

treat debt as well. So it's nice seeing the numbers go down and are so yeah, just have a little bit of fun with it.

Speaker 2

I don't think i've heard it on a money diary before, of seeing your debt and bills as a game, like that's actually very cool and definitely a mindset I can subscribe to. I think that that makes a lot of sense. You can gamify it. I'm in debt and bills not sexy. You tell me it's a game I want to play like, can we play? How do I do it? Like, I'm in no, But that's great. I love that Mindset's bring the mood down though. We always do this every single episode.

I breiled you up and then I'm like, babe, what are your worst money habits? Share with the team.

Speaker 4

I am impulsive, like really really impulsive. So if I see something and I'm like, oh, you deserve a little treaty, ty, you best believe I'm buying myself a little treat and it could be anything from you deserve it a little outfit for my cat to really extensive hall at Mecca, I'm ready, sign me up.

Speaker 2

I'm sorry you just said two of my favorite things cat outfits and hauls at Mecca. Like, I'm sorry. You were meant to give me bad things, things that weren't attractive. What you've given me is inspiration. Yeah yeah, So you're telling me that I can see my debt and bills as a game? Can I see cat outfits as a game? Is that an option?

Speaker 4

Only if you're like collecting them all that? You know we need one for every holiday season. He hates a little wit, but I love them. He looks so cute.

Speaker 2

Side note, my cat Bailey has a pumpkin hat and it's my favorite thing in the entire world. It's like a tiny pumpkin hat that you put on top of his head and it has a little elastic that goes in front of his ears. And the best part about it is he doesn't try to shake it off. He just looks at you like, is this what I'm meant to do with my life now, mum? And you're like, yes, little pumpkin boy, Like this is a treat for two people too. It's for me and my cat, Like I'm

sharing my money. That's very kind of me, which is money Diarist. It has come almost to the end of the episode, and my last question is always, now that we've talked, do you think that the grade of C plus is actually reflective of where you are? But before I ask you that, I kind of want to go through what we've learnt from you. I mean, you wrote in this beautiful money diary about you know, how your money story started off really grim and you you know,

went through this financially abusive relationship with your parents. You were in significant amounts of debt, but you're now in this position where you work a grad planning officer because you hustled your way into that job, like not even because you've graduated, because you were like, I'm just going to apply. I'm probably gonna, you know, do well at this, and everybody else agreed. You've just got to pay rise.

You contribute twenty three percent to super You literally said, and I wrote it down because I loved it so much. You said, I can do anything, I just have to work at it, and it made me go, yes, you can. I adore that so much. You have these really clear goals of going, all right, V, I really want to own four houses by the time I'm thirty. I'm twenty five percent there, Like, here's the plan. You know, I haven't got rocks in my head. This is how I'm

going to achieve it. You're talking about, you know, using your borrowing capacity to buy more and understanding fully that you need more of a borrowing capacity to get there. You also want to talk about using the equity in

your current property. You talked about how we gammifying bills and debt, and also the stuff that I was talking about at the start, how you're a really special human for taking on a shared care role of your sixteen year old sister, Now, could you tell me if that sounds like the money habits of somebody who is a C plus. Well, when you put it like that, I just told you what you told me aback, But like I haven't changed the words, I haven't changed the story.

I can, but I don't think it's even worth it, because like, what would you grade that person's money habits?

Speaker 4

Look, I think we're very quick to downplay what we do. And when you lay it all down like that, I think I'm doing very well for myself. I'm very proud of myself. And it's moments like this which actually make you sit and take a breath and be like, wow, I have a commission so much in such a short period of time. I sort of went into it thinking, I don't know, maybe i'd feel like a baby. I genuinely feel like I'm an a at the moment you.

Speaker 2

Are, you are an a Exactly when you said C plus, I was like, Okay, let's learn more about that. Had heard like a tiny bit of your story. The more I learned, I think that we had listeners and you know who was listening to this going like Victoria's right,

C plus And if you listen to money diaries. There are times where I'm like, no, I'm not going to argue with the money direst Like if they say that they feel like that's where they're at, I'm not going to argue with them, because I think mindset is really important. But you can't tell me the story that you just told me and then expect me to swallow a C plus my love, Like, that's just I'm so sorry. It's

just not going to happen. But you are correct. I think you are absolutely a A. I was going to give you an A plus, but we can sett a lot on an A because I think there's always always always room for improvement even if we say that we're an A plus. But holy moly, I'm so proud of you and the journey that you have been on. I'm going to gift you actually our budgeting cash flow masterclass because I know you said you're a little bit impulsive. I'm also a little bit impulsive, and I created that

plan to kind of hopefully cap my impulsiveness. We can put the cat outfits into the budget. We are still trying to live our lives. We are definitely making sure

that those things are included. Because you're right, we all do deserve a treaty treat but I genuinely think that that might help you feel a little bit more empowered and feel like you're taking control of that journey of yours, because often when it comes to things like this, where you're like, look, I've got a plan, but like getting it down on paper or getting it into a system can make you go, wow, I am actually killing it

at this and you give yourself even more credits. So I'm going to give that to you so that you can do that, hopefully when you have a little bit of free time, which I don't think you have between looking after your sister, studying and working. But like you know, it's aspirational from me.

Speaker 4

Thank you so much Onneslie.

Speaker 2

But unfortunately, my friend, I think that is all we have time for today. So thank you for being so open, thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for being you. As I said at the start, you are a special human being and I don't want you to forget that, and I want you to give yourself more credit.

Speaker 4

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2

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