MONEY DIARIES: Turning Life Around After Addiction

Hello.

My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr the

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on Them, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get the absolute pleasure of talking to one of our beautiful She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it went like this, Hello, beautiful, She's on the Money team. I'm a thirty one year old recovered methanphetamine drug addict.

Thank you.

I already know it's going to be good because we had such good boun to off air, so I'm ready to bring that on air. At the start of every money diary, I like to ask the same question, so let's start their money Diarist. If I asked you to give your money habits a grade from A through to F, what would you grade your habits today, I would give myself a B a B. I love it all right.

So my mum was a single mother of five. I was the baby, so things were a little dismal, but we never went without the essentials. I remember my mum working longer hours than most parents, agnol, felt like she was never there. I did attend a private school, however, the costs were covered by settling.

Oh cool, Yeah, that was good. MAM's a hustler.

Yeah. She did end up meeting my stepdad when I was around nine, and the older siblings moved out, so things got a little lighter. However, we still seem to be living paycheck to paycheck. We never did talk about finances or money, just the occasional. I can't afford that, sorry, honey. Never ate out. We never went on holidays, but we did go camping and that was a blast.

Oh, I love that.

When I was thirteen, I ended up working for the farmer across the road, milking cows at four am.

At four am. Oh my gosh, no chance, absolutely no chance for me.

It was tough. I wasn't paid in cash though I was paid in livestock.

Oh very cool.

I had another job at waitressing when I was around fifteen to sixteen, and when I was nineteen, I saved enough money to be able to go to Canada by myself for three months.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

See, things were looking quite bright for me until I found myself in trouble around the age of twenty one twenty two, dabbling in drugs and then unfortunately becoming very highly addicted. My value doesn't drive for anything changed dramatically.

Oh my gosh. Can you tell me a bit more about what that gateway was like, because obviously, going from you know, the short money story we've heard of, like yep, I was getting up for him milking the cows, I was getting paid in livestock all the way through to look twenty one twenty two, I got mixed up in some stuff that you know, I'm sure you wish you didn't, But how did that happen? Was it the people that

Actually my family, so I was around it for two years before I actually tried it. I went into the wrong pathway from family influence. I think they all feel pretty bad about that, but we were all in a bad situation and we're thankfully all of us out of that now too.

Love love to hear that.

Yeah for us, but yeah, So it was the wrong pathway to go down, and I happened to get into the wrong place, wrong time, family, and we're all looking up now.

So what did that look like when it came to I guess your money story. Obviously, when you're purchasing substances like that, they're not cheap. How did you fund that? What did that look like?

So there's like friends or friends, You've got different platforms where you can find it, and people just want to hang out with you and supply the drugs. Majority of those are men. Unfortunately, yep, I had a sugar daddy too, so he.

Was This is going to be the spiciest money story. I cannot wait to dissect this. Even more so.

He was involved in the drug game too. I just loved to spend time with young females and supplying as much drugs as he could. He was pretty well off. So yeah, it was basically it was easy to get a hold of.

Because you just asked him in it would be straight into your pocket. I suppose definitely. Yeah, how did you get introduced to? I guess those people, because it goes above and beyond being in a situation where you're like, look, family introduced me. They were doing it and you know, tried it a few times and kept getting it to going all right, well, I'm going to get a sugar daddy. And I mean that's a fair choice as long as everybody in that circumstance is consenting. Like who am I

Yeah, so I wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. It didn't happen like that. It just happened to be one of my friends were people that I was hanging out with that we did drugs with. They were hanging out with this older guy and he supplied everything to them and you know, bought them fancy things and stuff, and then it was just bringing your friends and I was one of those, and yeah, it just went from there.

Makes a lot of sense, though, because if you're like this guy gives me exactly what I'm looking for, it becomes very easy.

Yeah, it did, and it was probably too much, to be honest, So yeah, where it went downhill too easily accessible for me, and it was a three, four times a day sort of usage that got out of hand.

Oh my gosh. And then in your letter into us, you said I felt pregnant and instantaneously I cut it. I didn't crave it, I don't use the substance. I'm not interested in it. How did that change you? Because obviously that's not a situation that everyone finds themselves in. I wish it was, because obviously that would be a really beautiful outcome for absolutely everybody and their babies in

I was around it for a while, and I had a lot of friends that had a lot of kids as well, and I just remember looking back and thinking, I do not want to bring a child into this world. And I was adamant about that. When I found out I was pregnant, I actually had drugs on me. I was about to you know, consume them, and someone was like, you might be pregnant because I was like two weeks late, and I was like, nah, you're not possible. I ended up going down to the pharmacy coming back and I

Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you. That's such a big decision because it would have been such an awful like withdrawal process, and like, you know, I know that you said you haven't craved them or wanted to do that, but like your body would have been going, hey, where's this stuff that I'm so dependent on? How did you do that? I'm so intrigued because it's such a powerful story.

Yeah. So I went to my doctor, told them the drug usage that I was doing, how much I was consuming, that I'd fallen pregnant, and that I wanted to, you know, do as much as I can to get us both healthy and good. So basically I moved back down to my hometown and with my mum, went into hibernation and all I did was eat and sleep more than I ever have before.

I mean, pregnancy sometimes does do that to you too, so it might have been a mix of all of it. My friends. Yeah, I want to know a bit more about your money story because you're now thirty one, so that was back when you were twenty one twenty two, and obviously times have changed. You have a beautiful baby now or a beautiful toddler. Now, tell me a bit more about life today. What does it look like.

Gosh, she is a little ray of some chum, but she has a hell of a lot of attitude.

Yeah, the best way to be. I love her already.

We're good. So we have daycare and Kindy So she's at Kindy now, which is cute and swimming lessons. Life is so fulfilling, like having a child just makes life so much better. There's so much more value and meaning and it's just a rainbow every day basically apart from the attitude and sassiness.

Now that makes it even better. No, I love it.

Yeah, it's good. Life is amazing, all right.

I want to know now. You mentioned before that you didn't start working until August last year. What do you do for work? Now, how much money do you warn?

I do admin, payroll and account support, so I do twenty five hours a week with a forty five minute drive each way. Oh my gosh, I'm on forty four thousand a year plus super. But I don't claim the tax free threshold, so I get about thirty three in my bank. But in saying that, I still get settling. I receive single parenting payment yep, family tax benefits, which is about seventeen thousand a year. And then I also have a sidehouse on the weekend.

Oh my gosh, of course you do.

What is that?

I set up like play for kids' parties and I stare it, so it's another company that owns it, and I'm just a trade off of that, which is pretty good because my daughter can come with me and she helps me set up.

Oh my gosh. And you'd love it too, because you'd be like, oh, we're setting up basically a park for all of these little babies.

Yeah, there's like a bullpit and stuff, and she'll just like get in there.

She's got to test it. She's quality control.

She does pretty good.

Oh my gosh, I love that so much. So what does the side hustle? Bring in each year.

About five over five thousand.

Oh that's good cash for a few things that you get up to on the weekend.

Though it doesn't take up much for my time, so it's good and it's good that she can come with me.

Works well, where does your work life balance come into that? You've mentioned you've got a young child there in daycare and kinder you, you know, are driving forty five minutes each way from work. You're doing side hustles on the weekend. Do you have a personal life? Are you like dating? What's going on there?

I'm in an actual polyamory relationship.

Okay, didn't see that coming.

Yeah, so have a girlfriend, she has a partner, yep, and I can if I like to, but not really interested in it. We've been together nearly two years now.

Oh very cool. Can I be real pervy and ask about how the dynamics of that work? What does that actually look like? So if your girlfriend has a partner, do they live full time together? Like, how do you interact? What does that look like?

She has a primary other, they live together, they're engaged. But we all get along really well. It was a bumpy at the start. I go up to their house and I stay all the time and my daughter stays in their spare room. We get along really good. It works really well.

How good. Tell me about the financial side of it, though? How do you split it three ways?

Like?

Is it them paying more because you're the single kind of in this relationship or what does that look like?

All of our finances are separate, so they don't share finances. I don't share finances. However, her male partner is a chef.

This is a good deal for everybody involved.

He gets fresh produced too from one of his suppliers. Weekly. He brings me a box of goodies. Oh my gosh, yeah, this reduces my grocery bills, like dramatically.

Adore this whole polyamory thing, Like you're selling me on it. Can you tell me what long term looks like? Obviously they're engaged, they're planning on I'm assuming getting married at some point. Will you stick around for that whole picture? Will this become like a you guys move in together? Like, I don't know what does that look like?

Oh gosh, that's a good question.

Sorry, Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself, but I'm like, what does this look like?

We actually haven't really talked about that. They've kind of hold on the marriage at the moment. So I came into it when they got engaged. Yeah, and I was just a friend. It wasn't like a relationship we were looking for in the polyamory, you know, we weren't looking for this type of relationship. She was a friend. I fell in love with her, She fell in love with me.

Was this your first polyamorous relationship?

Oh yes, I didn't even really know it was a thing.

How did that work? Were you like, oh my gosh, what do you mean? Can I, you know, date you at the same time? Like, as you said before, you were like it was a bit rocky at the start. Was that because you just hadn't done it before or didn't know. I guess the boundaries and what that looked like. Tell me a bit more about that, because I just look at it and go, I don't even know how this would come up.

None of us really knew what we were doing. There was a lot of jealousy involved, like a lot of jealousy not just from my part, but her male partner's part as well. It was on a rollercoaster for him with his emotions. He didn't know how he felt. Sometimes other times he was okay, and then other times he was like, no, can we stop? So it was very bumpy, But in the end we have like boot amazing Now it's gotten to a point where we all sit on the couch and watch movies or like I actually stay

I'm so pervy on it, just because I'm like, I don't know how this would work, because obviously he wasn't as on board at the start. Does that mean you're sort of in a relationship with him as well, or is it definitely just the two of the girls and he's just like, yeah, she can sleep over and sleep in the bed, but like, I'm not part of this, but like, is he part of that? I guess relationship dynamic.

So there is no sexual like areas between him and I, but there is a more care factor there and a more like.

That's what I was like, because he's bringing you, like fruiting veggie boxes and like looking after you in the way that a partner might. I'm like, I didn't expect that from somebody who kind of wasn't the dating partner.

Yeah, it seems a bit different from everyone else's point.

Of so it sounds beautiful. It sounds like, I don't know how to explain this. You're talking about them, and you are beaming, like you are quite clearly so happy about this situation, and I'm sure that they talk about you in exactly the same way. So like, I just love that you're so happy in this. Like, I don't think it matters that it's different, Like everybody's relationship in

Course, yeah, and everyone is just family members might not be.

Oh, is that an issue because there's like a lack of clarity or they just don't get it.

I don't think they get it.

No, I can't believe that because I just feel like if my kid came home and was like, I have a girlfriend who has a partner, I'd be like, does everybody know?

Yep?

Okay, well that's not my place to judge. Like, you're happy, great, no worries, all the jops you it's all good. Let's get back on track. Though. I want to know what are you currently working towards? What is your big goal?

Okay, so one of them was I'm going on a cruise to New Zealand with my girlfriend, just us, not the other partner. Yeah, but I've already paid that off with winner. Yeah, so I just need spending money.

When is that happening? Is it soon?

Like?

How long have we got for spending money?

March next year?

So oh you've got heaps of time?

Yeah, how long for It's eleven days?

Very nice.

We're going to Sydney first for a couple of days, and then Newcastle because she grew up there, so.

Oh how fun? And then what after that? You've got this big cruise working towards that? Is there any other big money goals that you're.

Working towards just to be comfortable. Really, yes, I just want to be financially stable. Yeah. A goal of mine used to be the Australian drink to own home, and I thought a two percent deposit for a single mum seemed achievable. But after listening to your podcast and you know, finding out the nitty gritty stuff and everything that else comes with it, I just realized that, well, it's not for me, it's not what I want, doesn't align my values anymore.

Oh.

I love that. I love that you're clear on that. It doesn't mean it won't change in the future if you end up in a you know, more stable financial situation, but I kind of love that it's not putting pressure on you at the moment.

It feels good not to feel that pressure.

Love.

All right, let's go to a really quick break because I have approximately one million questions for you right after this all right, money direst We are back, and I feel like this has thrown a few I don't want to say spanners in the works, but like there's been some curveballs that I didn't see coming in this money story. I want to know now obviously you have gone from you know, not being in a good financial position to being I would say in a great one. Do you

So I salary sacrifice one hundred dollars a week into my super because when I was in trouble, I obviously didn't have a job, so my super is reasonably low at the moment. I've also set up a raise account and I do your thirty five dollars automatic transfer weekly and offer that I have a kid's account as well. Yeah, ten dollars weekly. So oh, I'm wanting to set up a good portfolio, though, I just need to educate myself a little bit better.

And I feel like you're well on the way to that, especially knowing how much you earn per year. But then you're also prioritizing investing. This is so sexy. I love it. I want to know a bit more about your daughter, though you mentioned her earlier, and then you just said you have like a kid's investment portfolio that you're investing into. How do you discuss money with your daughter?

That one's hard. So she's very young. I feel like she was very young anyway, She's still my baby, so I think the only way for me to do that at the moment is, like, she gets birthday money and stuff, so we'll go out to the shops and we'll show what she can get with that money and show her what she can't. But that's it at the moment. I think when she gets a bit older, I will encourage her to do food shopping with me, and I'll encourage her to do chores in order to get money and say love.

I feel like when they're so young, it's very hard, but I like how open you are to like understanding what it looks like for her age and what that looks like into the future. I always like asking about it because I have no idea exactly how I'm going to talk to my kids about money, Like none, because they're all so different as well, like one kid, as you were saying, your daughter incredibly sassy. Maybe it just won't fall in the same way it does with other kids.

Yeah, exactly.

All right.

Next question I have my friend, Do you have any debts? If so, what are they and what are they for?

Okay, so I have about one thousand dollars left on my debt. It's not your usual debt that you hear on cheese on the money, I'm actually paying off court fines and infringements from back in the day. So that was a total of about twenty five thousand dollars.

Oh my gosh, and you've paid nearly all of it off. Yeah, queen behavior, I love this. I love this so much. How long do you think it'll be before that is completely extinguished?

It will be gone by the start of next year, about January.

Oh my gosh. I love this. And how will you feel once all of that is gone? Do you feel like that's going to be like, I guess, another line in the sand for a life that once was.

Yes, for sure, it's the last line in the sands of life that once was.

It's the only thing that lingers you, like, get out, I'm done here. I can't be bothered with this. Oh that'll be so exciting. How are you going to celebrate? Oh gosh, I haven't thought that you have to celebrate?

You have to, Okay, Okay, I don't know what I'll do.

You can think about it, but please tell me when you do, all right, I want to know. Now you're a mum. You seem to be a bit of a whizz at a side hustle. I need to know what is your best money habit.

I have a pretty good automatic banking system set up now with up Bank. Once my pay comes in, all my bills are allocated to the separate accounts and I don't have to worry about them for the future.

I love that so much. How did you work out what needed to go where and when? Was it a bit of a teething process or was it just a set and forget one day?

Like?

How do we all do this?

So? I worked out all my bills that come up. So when Red Joe services, I worked out all the amounts that they are. Then I worked out what they would be monthly, and then I would work out what they would be weekly once it fills up into my bank account. It's therefore when that bill actually comes in.

Queen, I love this so much. It makes me so happy to hear. Let's bring down the mood, though. What's your worst money habit?

Okay, So I love to go out for dinner and drink. I do have expensive taste. Now that's thanks to my girlfriend Rude. But it does align to my values all right.

Well, she can say, she's all right, I've got no beef with her. What does that look like? How are you budgeting for that? And you know, is that something where you're like, ah, the it's my worst money have it because I just do it and don't think about my budget or is that oh now it's such a significant portion of my budget.

Well with all the bills and they're allocated for I do set up another account so when I have, say, more money from the site hustle, I'll just chuck it into that account, so that money is there that I can see. But I do sometimes go over that and just spend be a little bit cheeky.

Yeah, yeah, I love it. It's not even the worst, like dinner and drinks, especially with someone you love. Like ten out of ten, I love it. We're not going to regret that all right now that we've had a really good conversation. At the start of the conversation, you said, look, I Reckon, I'm a bit of a bee. I have learned so much about you in such a short period of time. Do you still think that your money habits or a bee? If so, why, if not, what would you regrade them to.

I would say I'm still a bee. I'm happy with everything. I'm doing where I'm at with my finances. I could be better, but now I'm happy. I would like to educate and learn as much as I can about investing. And I think once I get there and I'm happy, I'll then give myself the.

A oh, we can do that together. I've got you, like, I have so much investing content, like, I'm going to shove it all your way and you're going to be the most educated mom out there before we go. I have another question because obviously you've been so open. I can't have ownership over being proud of somebody that have had nothing to do with. But I just I look at your story and I go far out, like I mean, awe,

Oh gosh, that's a hard one.

I didn't promise the questions would be easy, my friend.

Just take it day by day and know that you'll step in in the right direction. When you're in that world and you're in that place, it is a very gray and very dark place, and I think the further away from it you get, the more color that you feel comes into your life. It is a hard process, but you'll get there for sure. I love it.

I love it. I feel like I've learned so much. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm sorry that that is all we have time for today, but it has been an absolute pleasure having a chat with you and getting to spend some time together.

Thank you.

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