MONEY DIARIES: The Spending & Saving Swing

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get the absolute privilege of talking to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it sounded like this.

Hi V.

I'm twenty five and spending is my crack due to a secret affair. My parents suddenly separated when I was six. Mum has always been a saver. Dad total opposite and relies on loans No matter the paycheck, my spending and savings go through extremes. After being misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression in twenty eighteen, my mental and financial wellbeing was taking a beating. Late twenty twenty two, at twenty five

So about two years ago I would have given myself a B M, and then up until about six weeks ago, I would have given myself AD And I think now I'm tracking back at a bee minor.

Oh, a bee minus. That's a glow up in six weeks. Yes, I'm excited to hear more about that. Let's ask my favorite question ever, can you please tell me a little bit more about your money story. I feel like this one's a little bit spicy, especially with how you wrote in.

Yeah.

So, like I said, Mum really good with money, always made sure the bills were paid.

Dad very impulsive, quite similar to me.

But it wasn't really something that was spoken about at all. Really, I had no idea about our situation. I only knew that we were having home brand family pies for dinner, mushy peas, that kind of thing, saying that though I didn't go without completely, I was really fortunate to be really close with my grandparents because my parents were quite young when they had me, so I did get to go to England with them.

When I was younger, and they kind of spoiled me a little bit.

But I've started to come to terms with ADHD playing a big role in my money story, and it's kind of all or nothing mentality with everything, not just money. But I'm getting better with it now. I'm still working it out. It's still a day by day thing. I went to a private school which was funded by my mum's work because she works in the government, which was really good, and I wasn't allowed to work during school, so I had no basis of how to save money

That's when it got a.

Little slippery, and I started to rely a little bit old credit cards and getting alone. I never was taught to save or had any type of knowledge on what to do when you get a paycheck, so it was, yeah, a slipper slope.

Got into a lot of debt.

Working in the field that I do in dental, I wanted to have straight teeth.

That was a very expensive escapade.

I can absolutely relate to that. I did not realize how expensive it would be to straighten my teeth.

And that was with a discount as well for my line of work, so that was quite expensive.

I had to buy my first car, so all those things, I just thought, oh, need a loan, need to get a payment plan, and I thought that was okay. So yeah, that's kind of where that went.

To, Oh my gosh. So it just all added up and added up. Do you think that you got I guess that mentality from your dad because he was very much a I rely on credit So when you first got your credit card, it didn't scare you or worry you in any way, shape or form.

No, it terrified me.

I didn't like the idea of getting a credit card or getting loans or anything, but I didn't know any other way.

So yeah, my grandparents. My mom was always don't.

Get a credit card, don't get a credit card. But my dad, without meaning to, kind of opened that door.

That makes absolute sense. I feel like sometimes when you just don't have enough, feel like I'm terrified of this situation, but I also can't see another option on the table for me at the moment. How did it ultimately spiral from you just getting a credit card to get by to be twenty five thousand dollars of debt.

I don't know. Honestly. I think it's just your living life. And I kept having that Yoloe mentality of I only live once.

I just need to do whatever I can. I didn't do any major travel, I didn't do anything crazy, but I wanted to be young and afford going out to dinners, and I was always comparing my situation with people around me who could afford to do that because they had jobs in school, they had parents who could afford it. So I just wanted to keep up with the Joneses. And I secretly knew that I couldn't do it without those things.

Yeah, I totally relate to that. I feel like it's such a I want to say slippery slope, but it's not. It's like a hill because you know what you're doing each and every single time, But each and every single time you tell yourself like, oh, I won't rely on it next time, like I'll just sort it out this time, and then it just it feels like it gets away from you.

Right, Yeah, exactly.

So you said before, now you're out of debt, twenty five thousand dollars would have been super overwhelming. How did you get out of twenty five thousand dollars worth of debt?

I didn't have twenty five thousand dollars.

Always it was kind of putting myself in debt getting out of it, putting myself back in worse debt getting out of it.

It was a back and forth situation, a cycle.

Yeah, it was a cycle, and I couldn't break it. And I'm happy to say I've finally broken it.

What's the secret? How do we break it? There are lots of people who are struggling with this, and to be honest, I feel like I still struggle being a little bit spendy.

There's no secret and I haven't worked it out. So if you work it out, so helpful.

Thank you for coming on the show. Nice having your money diressed so so great. I want to know so much more about this, so I need to know. Now, what do you do for work? How much money do you earn?

So I have these written down.

I'm a clinical manager for a dental practice, which is about sixty six thousand, two hundred a year including super and then I also have a second job, which is a food and beverage attendant, and I get anywhere from eighty dollars a week to about three hundred, So it kind of just depends on how many hours I'm getting and if I can mentally keep up with it.

When you said food and beverage attendant, that reminded me of when I was at UNI and I used to do like casual work for events and stuff. Is that similar or is this like in a restaurant or what does that look like in a.

Bar and restaurant? But same award rate, I think with doing events and.

Stuff, Yeah, how good? And that just is flexible depending on how much staffing they need, or like the events and stuff that are going on there, or what does that look like?

Yeah, so sometimes I'm really motivated and I want to earn heaps of money.

Other times you're like, I do not want to have a second job right now.

This week is hectic, yes, exactly, and I want to pick up heaps of shifts. So I work and then I burn myself out, and then the next week I don't want to work at all. So it's just I'm still trying to find that happy medium of how many shifts is enough for me?

Yeah? Absolutely? So what does that mean? You're taking home each week on average between the two into your bank account.

So I get paid fortnightly.

So fortnightly is two thousand and thirty bucks from my dental job and then around two hundred a week for my bar job.

That's not too bad. So talk to me a little bit more about your money goals. You've got this two thousand and thirty dollars plus maybe two hundred dollars a week is coming in each and every single fortnight. What are we working towards? You got out of debt, you setting your leady in that you're now I guess beginning your journey to financial freedom, which I think is so exciting, But what does that look like? What are the big money goals that we have on the table.

So I want the white picket fence Australian dream house, yes, but there's also a few things in between that that I really like to do for myself. I have two holidays coming up, one in August for a country concert, which I'm so excited about.

How cool I know, I.

Know, and a wedding next year for one of our best mates. So they're two of the short term money goals. And then next year I am hoping to get a breast reduction, So that's kind of a really big goal that I'm working towards that I'm hoping will be a next year thing.

And is that something that you're working with a doctor to make sure that it kind of goes through Medicare and you actually get it as cheap as possible or is that something clear You're going, all right, well, my back isn't breaking me. This is cosmetic because there are obviously two very different streams you could go down when it comes to a breast reduction.

No, I definitely went down the doctor referral path to get it because it's medically necessary, so a lot of it will be covered under Medicare, which.

Is fabulous an absolute money when yes, but that means that you're probably on long waitlists. So what does that look like do you think?

I don't think it's too long a waitlist.

I live in the top end, so we're pretty lucky with that sort of thing. We don't have the best choice, but the waiting list isn't too bad.

How much do you think that you'll be out of pocket for that?

I have to pay about eight to ten grand upfront, and then we do the surgery and then I will get a lot of it back, potentially about two grand out of pocket after all this, but I still have to have the money there beforehand, yeah.

To fund it. So what will it look like when it comes to like work? Are you having to take annually or sick leave or have you looked at that yet?

Haven't looked at that yet? I probably could take some sickly.

Well, it's medically necessary. That is absolutely sickly. If my friend sweet yep, they can call me.

I won't be out of action for too long. I spoke to my doctor and he said maybe two weeks, but a lot of my job for my main dental job is sedatory, so I'm not assisting anymore as I'm the manager, so I don't do that side of things too much.

Yeah, that's cool. It's good to know. And I feel like so many times when those surgeries come up, people only look at the final cost of the actual surgery and not like your time out of work or the time it's going to take to you know, get back

Hep the best bellie if my partner will be washing my hair.

Yeah, turn out of ten. I love that commitment. All right, let's go to a really quick break because after I want to talk about investments and a little bit more about debt, and also you cannot start a letter to me that says due to a secret affair and then not give me any more details. So we will be back on the flip side money diarrest. We are back,

Well, I didn't find out about it until only a couple of years ago.

Really secret.

Yeah, everyone bounced across and ask your mom musk a dad asked this person all that person?

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

So I kind of woke up one morning and my dad wasn't there. My mom came in and said, hey, Dad's just going away, and that's all I remember.

Honestly, I was six. I don't remember too much.

I'm just like, all right, see soon, dad.

Yeah, And I still saw my dad every weekend. Still have a really good relationship with both of them. It was just a really strange time when I was younger. But they tried to make sure initially that it wasn't too complicated and too involved for me, so that was good on their behalf. But I think it's still something that's underlying that I probably have to work through a little bit sometimes.

I was about to say, I'm really impressed that through that, because, like you best believe if my partner does that to me, straight under the bus, straight under the bus, and I'll be driving. But I feel like that's such a mature way to deal with it, because obviously kids aren't emotionally mature enough to be able to comprehend something like that. I was going to say, Oh, it's really good that

I think it had a bit of an impact on my mom making sure she had savings or something to back her. She was always really good with money, so she kind of did anyways. But I think it just reinforced that people aren't always together forever. Things happen and you need to have something there to save you so you're not stuck or in a situation you don't want to be.

Yeah.

No, I totally agree with that. I always find it so interesting because that could have been, I guess, a pivot point of your childhood. It could have been something that really was like the sticking point of I guess trauma. But the way they dealt with it, I don't know. I find that really mature of them, because, as I said, i'd be driving the bus. I don't know. I would hope that I had the same maturity. I want to know. Next, though, talk to me about investments. You said that you were

So I just have the super and I've been making some extra contributions to that for now, just because I'm not too confident with the investing world yet and I'd rather have more savings to lean back on, just in case for an emergency fund. But I just checked before this and I'm sitting at thirty eighty six hundred in my super.

Oh my gosh, that is so good for your age. You are twenty five years old and have thirty eight k in super really Yes, that's massive, my friend, that is so good. Talk to me about your super fund. Did you pick your super fund? Have you ever changed it? What does that look like?

I was with one that my first job created for me and my employer who I have now at the dental practice. We're super close. I've been here for for six years and he's kind of like my second dad. He teaches me about those things. We have money conversations all the time. So I kind of said to him one day, what super are you with? And then created one in oz super and yeah.

How good. I love it when I can ask questions and people are like, yeah, I put myself in a super fund that made sense for me. I looked at my options like it's just so nice because at twenty five, No, I didn't have it together absolutely not like I think. I still had three super funds. I didn't really know what they're up to. I was wasting fees on all of them, and I just didn't make it a priority. But future you is going to be so much better off because you've done that, and it just makes me

No debt at the moment, Queen behavior, You're smirking while saying that, are you super proud?

I am, because it's been a long time coming.

Yes, I love that. And what are we doing to stay out of debt?

Well, the emergency fund is being created as we speak, love. And I've started automating things a lot more because my impulsivity and dopamine hits, like I said, a crack and I struggle with that a lot. So I've had to automate things and redo everything.

And now it's we're going good. We're going good.

I also it's very common knowledge that I also have ADHD, and I feel like one of the biggest game changes for me was actually automating my cash flow system. I feel like because I am so impulsive, but also with ADHD, it's very out of sight, out of mind. I feel like so many times I'd get a bill and then I get the late fees because I hadn't paid it and I'd seen it come in and I go oh, I'll pay that, and then I never think about it

Well, you'll be pleased to know I already did.

You already have it. I can't even gift it to you. I I'll send you a couple of books. I look, I'm glad we had this conversation. Did it work? Did it help?

Yes?

Did it actually or are you just saying that because you're literally on my show and you can't say, oh, VB it was pretty trash?

No, it was good.

I just changed things because I'm very particular with things, so I changed it up a little bit, but the basis was still the same.

Which I absolutely allow. All Right, I love hearing that. But tell me about your emergency fund because you mentioned before when I said how are we staying out of debt? You said, I'm going to have an emergency fund. How have you decided on how much you're going to put into that?

So I didn't have a end goal amount as such. I'm kind of just I have a director of it that goes from my normal account to the account I don't have access to. Every fortnight when I get paid, it goes straight into there, and that's about five hundred bucks a fortnight.

Oh that's gonna grow very quickly, my friend.

Yes, that's the plan.

That's very attractive.

I like this, Thank you, And then every time I work at the bar, that paycheck goes straight into the emergency fund as well, so I don't see it because if I see it, I spend it.

I love this. You're just like taking control by completely taking it away from yourself. Yeah, genius, genius. I love that. At what point, and I mean, you said you hadn't really thought about it, but I guess what would be a number that, off the top of your head makes you feel comfortable. Is it one thousand dollars? Is it five thousand dollars? Is it ten thousand dollars? That you go, Oh, that would be nice.

I'm kind of aiming for five grand at this stage, keeping in mind I do have some holidays coming up, and I do have some things that I need to pay for, but five grand for me at the moment would be kind of nice.

I'm excited that you get to go on this August holiday because I feel like when you explained why you were going, your face lit up. Is country music something that you're really passionate about? If so, tell me a little bit more about this holiday and how much it's going to cost you.

I'm a country gal, so I love country music. We're going to see Luke Holmes, who is going to Adelaide. Somehow I managed to get tickets.

I was on the ticket website four hours before the tickets actually came out.

So I made sure I got tickets. We've kind of got a bit of a rough budget that my partner and I have worked out for the holiday. We like to pay for things as they come up, so that most of it's page.

Is he the guy that sings the fast Castle.

He covers it?

Yeah, but he sung that, right. I feel like that's come up on my Spotify and he's really good.

Yes, it would have, because it's just gone crazy, a little too crazy for my lacking if I want to.

But is that why you had to like wait on the website because other people who have now gotten in on what you already discovered. Yes, That's how I felt about Taylor Swift, And now I'm validated by the amount of fans she has because I'm like, yeah, well I knew about her when I was young, and you said I was lame.

Yeah, exactly.

I love that. I love that so much. But you also mentioned that next year you're going to a wedding, and that's something that you're budgeting for, and like, that's a really topical conversation, right, So I'm assuming you're going to a destination wedding. Can you tell me without going too much, I guess into it because we don't want to throw anyone under a bus. But where is that and how much do you think that's going to cost you?

So it's in Victoria, and usually my partner and I we wouldn't.

Really travel for people's weddings. And that sounds horrible, but it's a lot. It's a lot of money.

But it is one of his really close friends, and I would never imagine saying no.

Yeah, absolutely, So we've made a decision to go.

Whether that be for just the wedding or we have a couple of days down there with them, I'm not too sure. But we just paid for the accommodation for three nights, which is six hundred bucks, which isn't too bad.

My gosh, that's so much. It's still a lot of money to go to somebody else's wedding, and like, I adore it, and as someone who has been a bride, and I have had people travel for me to come to my wedding. I was so overwhelmingly grateful, but I wouldn't want anyone to think that I didn't think of the financial implications of that. And like the idea that it now has to become one of your money goals to me goes, Oh, is there something weird about these?

It was a big decision to do it, and I've always previously been in the mentality of oh, I just can't afford it, And that's always been my what I say when people say, do you want to do something? I just can't afford it.

But with this new mentality I've got around money and with my understanding of my diagnosis and automating things, making things all easier on myself. If I'm starting to realize that if I have a goal and I put my mind to it and I have a plan, it will happen. And this is just one of those things that we really want to do because he is one of my partner's best mates. So it's kind of not an option for us. It was a high value thing for us.

My gosh, I am obsessed with this mentality change that you're making, and it just makes me so happy to know that I guess reframing that and we know or I know that reframing is such a powerful technique that you can implement literally at any stage. It is free. But this idea of going from I can't afford it to it's actually not in line with my values or it's not in line with the goals I'm working towards

It feels really good to know that I can contribute to things. For example, my partner and I have been together five years now, and a lot of the time it was just we wouldn't plan things because I couldn't afford it, and it is really heartbreaking because we're a really big camping fishing couple.

We love it. It's our lifestyle, it's who we are. So for me to have to say no a lot of the time, even though I really wanted to, was so hard and it started to affect our relationship a little bit because I wanted to say yes, but I knew that if I said yes, he would be paying for all of it, and to me, that's not right. I need to pay half.

So it's really uplifting now that I can put towards things. And if we need to pay for the wedding accommodation, we did it the other day. We didn't have to use a payment plan or it wasn't like a, oh you know what, we just can't afford it.

So yeah, it's uplifting. I really I'm enjoying it.

I love it so much, like it genuinely makes me so happy. And I think my favorite part about this is like you can walk the walk. You're like you could tell me, yeah, I'm so empowered by this. But I get the privilege that nobody else listening to this podcast gets and that's I can see you right now and you are like beaming when you're telling me this, like you've got this smile on your face, like I'm so far out of myself and I'm genuinely, I guess

Best money habit starting to automate things now and I always compare pricing. I never take the first price. If we're going to a hardware store and I need to buy something, I will be asking for a discount, or I'll be asking for something or I always look out for deals.

Love yep.

And then slip that on its head, my friend, what is your worst money habit? And you can't say adhd.

Okay.

I will go around it and say being obsessed with something to the point where I'll buy everything for that hobby or that accessions and then never using it because it's overwhelming.

And I did it with a sewing machine.

I've done it with so many things in my life, and it's taken a lot of money from me, this habit that I have. But I'm working on understanding that impulsivity letting it sit for twenty four hours and then going back, even if I put it all in my cart, see it there and then the next day forget about it.

It just yeah, that's my worst money habit.

I had to stop myself the other day, so I went down a rabbit hole. And anyone who has ADHD knows this happens after the hour of eight pm. You'll be sitting on the couch like, yeah, it's like after eight pm. Like you're not going to do it during the day. You're busy during the day thinking about other things.

Is it?

And I'm like, I feel personally victimized when he does that. Why can't I be more like him and consistently enjoy my lawn? Like it's just going to have that?

How it's not how its eight o'clock is the worst time.

Right just after div Yeah, just after dinner, sitting on the couch watching something on TV, and then you start.

Scrolling, yeah, because you can't just watch TV, Like, We've got to do all the things all at once, and we're flicking between TikTok and the internet like Explorer to like look up these things like that. We're we're not just on one thing. And then, oh my gosh, I've got this great idea. Are you ready to hear it?

I'm down, Yes, I'm so down for that.

See, I feel like that would be good. You want to do embroidery this week, No worries. Take home all of this stuff. Your house is not going to be messy anymore because it's full of all your hobbies and your crafts and things that you take up. It's definitely returnable. How good's that you hand it over to another adha.

Bucket because you don't start it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, and then you return it next week. We will have late fees though, because we'll make an absolute killing because every adhd Galie won't return it on time, and we'll just make a whole heap of money on late face. It's a really good idea. I think it's like a toy library, but for adults. I think we're done here because I've absolutely lost the plot. But at the very start, you said six weeks ago you rated yourself as a D and now you're a B minus.

I still need to rain in those impulsive purchases and understand that you don't need that top ten times because next week it won't be the top of your dreams.

What do you mean I don't need to buy it in every single color? But I have it in white, and I really like the white. But it comes in black and navy and space. Do you think I should not get those now?

No? And you need to learn, and we need to learn and.

Stick together to not be so impulsive and to be a little more realistic.

I think I also with that impulsivity.

If there's something wrong with me, or for example, I'm seeing a dermatologist right now because of my skin I've always had acne.

I don't just halfheartedly.

Go into that. I go into that. I buy every product that I need. I go crazy.

It I'm doing.

I'm going back and forth between if I can rain in those impulsivity habits and stage the appointments out rather than just being all focused in on once and spending a lot of money on it.

I think I can potentially get.

My grade higher, but I just I know in myself, I still think I will be a bee for a little while longer until I can get those under control.

But it sounds like you are absolutely on the path towards an A plus, like you are taking all the right steps. And I think, after hearing you speak, I guess the tagline of ADHD should be go hard or just go home, because like we're only doing one of those two things. There is no middle ground, no middle ground, absolutely not anyway, it has been so good talking to you. I feel like you and I are genuinely two peas