MONEY DIARIES: The Financial Side of Fertility

Hello.

My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom.

Welcome back to another one of our Money.

Diary episodes where I get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of our Shees on the Money community members and talking all about their money story. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got an email and it went like this.

Hi V.

I'm a twenty nine year old law student and full time employee in litigation. I'm also a part time bonus mum dealing with infertility and juggling finances while doing all of that. My partner and I spent ten thousand dollars for three rounds of IVF, and I really want to share my experience of the impact that these procedures have on your finances and on your relationships. Money Darist, welcome to the show.

Hello, thank you for having me.

No, thank you for wanting to share your story with me. I'm very excited and very grateful. Do you want to dive straight in?

Yeah, let's go for it, all right.

First question, as always, is if I asked you to give your money habits a grade from A through to F, what would you grade your money habits?

So I gave this a lot of thought, and I think I've settled on a B minus.

A B minus. All right, let's get into it.

My favorite question, which comes as no surprise to anyone, is money. Durist, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story.

Yeah.

So, I grew up in a family where money was never really something that was discussed, but it was also never really something that was an issue. We were very much thoroughly middle class, which I think really impacted me when I finally moved out of home and went to UNI because I remember very clearly the first time I had twenty dollars in my bank account and I went, what am I going to do? What am I going to do for food? And I ended up working two

No, totally.

And money's hard and you don't realize it's hard until you're on your own with it, Yes.

Exactly, because before I could always rely on my parents to bail me out when I spent my you know, fifty dollars pay check from working at the Chicken Shop on lip gloss. You know.

Oh, I love that. That's so relatable.

I liked with the ice cream shop which was just down from the Chicken Shop, and I was going to Priceline and buying all my lip glosses when I had free time.

Yeah, one hundred percent.

Lipschmackers had them all, like the glossy ones. Though, because obviously I'm not a child, I didn't just have the barm Ones.

No, No, the barm Ones with the little crystal lids.

Oh yeah, those were bougie, but the glitter in them was too gritty.

Yes, yes, yeah, exactly, same page, same That's why.

It doesn't exist anymore.

It's got nothing to do with the fact that times have changed, and everything to do with that was a flaw in their product.

Yeah, but they could have marketed it as an exfoliant and then consult.

I had a blue one, so I'm glad they were on the same page very much. So you became an adult and you had your first twenty dollars?

What then happened? You went to UNI? Take us all the way through to the age of twenty nine.

Okay, So I went to UNI originally when I was seventeen years old and I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I said, what makes me sound smart and employable? And I decided to do journalism. Then my first day of my journalism cause, the lecturer stood up and said, journalism is a dying profession. You have two weeks till the census date. I suggest you consider doing something else.

Ah cool, I guess I see myself out, sir nice.

And so were you like me?

And you well like see you in hell and kept doing it? Or did you change I did.

For a little bit.

I did, and then I promptly fell into a pretty bad loop of anxiety and depression and that was the end for me. I was like, you know what, we're done. We're going to take a break, We're going to focus on ourselves. And I ended up working a few different jobs, working in retail, and then I eventually moved into the public service, where I started my career as a criminal investigator.

Oh wow, yeah, a bit of a like left term. I just started my career there. That's all good, first normal.

But it was through.

That role, where I started doing investigations and working more in regulation, that I discovered my passion for law. So I left the public service and I'm now in a litigation team and a private law firm.

Oh that sounds so fancy, and you're still just in your twenties.

Yeah, well, yes, I'm still in the process of getting my law degree. But you know, we'll get their direction is more important than speed.

I love that. That is very, very true. So tell me a bit more about your personal life. So obviously you've got bougie job, You've had some very fancy experiences. But when you wrote in you said, I'm also a part time bonus mom. Yes, about that, and then I want to talk about infertility because we don't talk about that enough.

Yes, one hundred. My stepdaughter is pretty much the coolest person in the world. I know it's kind of lame to talk about it like that, but she's so confident and funny and bubbly, and she she just does not let anything hold her back and it's just really cool. I don't know, she's such a cool I love that, man, I love that so much.

Yeah.

I feel like all step daughters deserve their future step moms or current step moms to have that same amount of energy for them.

Yeah.

Well, I met her dad through work when we were working together as investigators. It was very like office romance. It was god chairs. And then when I decided, you know, I was like, Ah, this man's gonna be my husband and I'm gonna, you know, do the step mom thing. I kind of really sat down with that and was like, well, I'm gonna take it really seriously because she deserves, like she didn't choose this circumstance, and she deserves one hundred percent of my effort. If I'm gonna do it, I'm

Clearly I love that.

And then you and your husband, you've been trying to become second time parents.

Yes, so I have a fertility issue, which is called primary ovarian failure or primary ovarian insufficiency. So essentially what that means is I'm perimenopausal at twenty nine.

So that's so hard.

Yeah, it's kind of a big thing to come to terms with. We started going through the IVF and the IUI procedures and getting all of those ducks in a row, because even getting to the point of the actual fertility procedure is so long, Like you have to do so many tests and there's so many hurdles. And we actually felt pregnant in November last year, but we miscarried at the start of the year in about January.

I did too. That's exactly my timeline.

I'm sorry. It sucks.

Yeah, I know that is so bad. I'm so sorry that you went through that. It's the shittiest club to be involved in ever.

Yeah, I know. But I will say, actually, like, and I hope this isn't like two kind of like, but when I saw you posting about your experiences at the same time I was going through it. It was kind of really nice.

Oh I'm so glad because that's why I did it.

I feel like there were lots of people and you know what, miscarriages sutn't underspoken about topic. And the more I spoke about it, the more I realize. I know, it's one in four, but when you start talking about it, you just feel like it's like everyone's doing it.

Everyone's got a story.

I swear every single person that I spoke to would be like, oh yeah, me too, or oh my sister, oh my thing, like everyone had a story. And I was like, well, why didn't I know this before I was going through this? And this felt so lonely. Why didn't I know this going in? Because I just thought it was locked and loaded the second I got a positive pregnancy test, right, I just thought that that's how it worked, right, Like I'm healthy, I'm okay, I'm not

It's actually got nothing to do with that.

And I think a lot of the time we blame ourselves for not doing something, or doing something wrong, or messing it up somehow, and that's not the case at all, Absolutely not the case.

No, but sometimes you need someone externally to give you that reminder.

One hundred percent.

So you went through three rounds of IVF how to miscarriage, Yes, that's bullshit.

What happened next?

So essentially we're at the point now where we need to look at using donor conception and using donor eggs. So we did the three rounds of IVF. We spent about ten thousand dollars getting that all together, and that's including things like interstate travel, hotels, accommodation. Because and this is something I did not know until I started getting into this, is that where I am in the act, there's no bulk build IVF clinics.

What really, Yes, So if you're.

In the act, you have to travel to Sydney to be able to access bulk build IVF. So a bulk build IVF round is about three thousand dollars a cycle, where a private clinic IVF round is about ten thousand dollars a cycle.

That's an insane amount of differences. And obviously that's the difference between you being able to do one round and three and three is what led to your pregnancy, right and.

Yeah, oh my gosh, it's crazy. But yeah, so the next step for us is looking at donor conception. So we're very lucky that the clinic that we are going through in Sydney they've actually just recently introduced known donor conception services in their bulk build rounds. Yeah, so we got very lucky with timing because it's really again just the price difference, like to be able to do a bulk build round with the in a program coordination fees,

I mean, that's not as bad as it could be, but I mean the idea that it could be more fruitful as well gives me a lot of hope.

Yes, yes, and again the private clinic is about fifteen thousand dollars a cycle.

Oh my gosh.

So how did you learn so much about the difference between public and private? Because I feel like fertility and going through this is so convoluted. I know a lot about it here in Melbourne because I've been going through the processes myself to make sure that I will be able to have a healthy pregnancy. But looking at the price differences, like I just I'm shocked at the differences even between private clinics and what that looks like and how that works, and the wait lists in Victoria for

I am very fortunate that I had someone very close to me who had gone through. My cousin had gone through six rounds of IVF to have her little girl.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, so she was a really really good resource to me personally. If anyone is looking at IVF as well. There was a reality show recently, was there. It's called Big Miracles.

Oh, I saw that, and then I blocked it out completely because I didn't want anything baby related in my life. Yeah, so it turned off the TV. But I'm glad it was good.

Yes. No, I did the exact same thing because it aired when it was still a little bit too close to home for me after my fast courage.

And I went, no, thanks, thanks, bye, I don't care about your big miracle.

Yeah, enjoy your baby. Ah. But I end up going back and rewatching it recently.

Oh, I'm glad. It's really really.

Helpful resource as well. So that's a really good place. But I think a lot of it just comes down to independent research because, as you said, even between the private clinics like Jeneia just costs so much. Their price is so different to IVF Australia or you know, it's really just about digging in and taking the free consultations and working out what's going to be best for you and your individual circumstances.

It's so time intensive as well. Like doing all of that, I just my heart goes out to you because I'm just like, oh, this must be such a stressful process and it must be really hard, but I want to know a bit more about I guess your feelings towards this. You seem really positive, Like I talked to so many people about topics like this all the time, and it's not as upbeat when you have this conversation, Like you seem to be a very very similar mindset to me.

Yes, first and foremost, I would like to shout out my therapist. She's done a lot of the heavy lifting, so we really appreciate her. She's done a great work. But yeah, I think it was The DNC was probably the single worst experience of my entire life. And at the end of the day, it sucked and it was horrible and it's not something I would ever ever wish

Yeah.

No, No, I'm really proud of you that I feel like you are on the right track doing good things.

And I can tell you're going to be the best mum. Like it's coming. It's coming. That's so exciting.

Yes, put it into the universe. It'll come true.

I put everything into the universe, I promise. All right. I want to know now.

I want to need to know a bit more. You said that you work in full time litigation. So what does that mean? And how much do you earn?

Yeah?

So I earn about ninety seven thousand dollars a year. Oh, big dog, big dog energy. Will fourth? Please don't put that in the podcast.

Hope it's staying in. It's staying in. I'm keeping it. No, I am the producer.

No cook can get out.

Nope, nope, I'm keeping it. I loved it.

Yeah. So, I I am a legal secretary in a litigation practice in a private law fair. So that means that our primary clients are Commonwealth government agencies, and we represent the Commonwealth government agencies in litigation when other parties initiate litigation against Yeah, so we represent the government when they get suit. Basically yeah, yeah, cool, Yeah.

How fun? Is that real? Spicy?

Obviously you're going to have signed an NDA, so you can't tell me any spicy stories. But I'm sure you can tell me whether it is spicy or not.

All my the spice levels are through the roof some of the goths.

See, that's why I should have worked in law. I should have worked in law for the gossip.

Honestly, I think that's why I'm becoming a lawyer is because the tea is so hot.

As long as you're not sharing it's exactly, it's good. Just keep that to yourself. And then when you're at the supermarket and that person walks past, you could be like, I know something you don't know.

Yeah, yeah, ye, yeah, it's great. It's honestly, it's it's so good. But yeah, some of the gossip incredible. And it's also really helpful as well, because I am in the process of getting my law degree, so being able to work full time in a private firm in that litigation space and.

Getting that exposure before you actually jump in. That's really cool.

And all the networking, all the contacts.

Oh I love that for you. Yeah, all right, I want to know next, what is your big money goal? What are you currently working towards?

So currently we have two big money goals. Our first is to save a deposit to buy our own house, and our second is to save up a bit more money so we can commence some further IVF rounds using an egg downer.

Oh how exciting? Do you have timelines on either of those goals?

So we should be able to purchase a house late next year, so we're looking about November December next year, will be able to buy and then hopefully we'll be able to start IVF. You visiting an egg donor.

Just after that? O exciting?

Yeah, I have someone who's agreed to be an egg donor for me.

Actually, yeah, that's so special.

Yeah my cousin.

Oh no, that's so special because.

Then we have at least a genetic bond.

Yeah, no, I love that so much. Yeah, she's been through.

So much with her IVF journey that she was like, let's do it. But she's just given birth, so she wants to wait about eighteen months, which is so fair, totally fair. So that takes the pressure off a bit.

Yeah, time to set up, time to plan. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you. That's such a special connection that you guys will have.

How awesome.

All Right, I have a million more questions. I'm going to go to a really quick break. But on the flip side, I want to know about your investments. I want to know about your good money habits, your bad money habits, and if you have any debts. So guys don't go anywhere. All right, money Diarist. We are back, and I am loving this chat. I feel like it's so open, so honest, so raw, but also like we just think we're really funny this whole entire time.

So solid ten out of ten US. But talk to me. Do you have any investments, If so, what are they?

So I'm in the process of growing my spaceship portfolio. So I've got roughly about one thousand dollars in Spaceship and I've got ninety six thousand dollars in Super.

Oh how do you have so much in Super? That's a flex at twenty nine?

Yeah, No, I got really into this money podcast. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called money sounds trash. Yeah, And I started doing some salary sacrificing into my super account and really bumped it up, so I've been able to really contribute into that with the view of using some of those additional contributions to help fund our house deposit through the first.

Oh, how good is that? How long have you been doing that?

Probably about a year and a half, almost two years now. Yeah, And they've just increased the cap as well, which is how they did.

It's now fifty thousand dollars instead of thirty thousand dollars, which goes a lot further, like thirty thousand dollars is not enough, and I mean fifty thousand dollars in most places is not enough either, But it definitely takes the

What was the process?

Yeah?

So I actually sat down about eighteen months ago and reviewed my whole financial situation.

Very sexy.

I like that, I know it's very hot. My husband and I have monthly financial date nights, turn out a ten yeah, a bottle of Aldi wine and a Domino's pizza, and our life has never been back.

Whim money, whim right? Which Audi wine?

Though?

The rose obviously?

The La Mule, Yes, an elite choice see obviously.

But yes, So I sat down, I reviewed my super funds performance. I decided I wasn't happy with the way they were performing in the fees I was paying. So I kicked them to the curve, called around and spoke to my now super fund and said, this is my goal, this is where I want to be. I'm looking at joining what can you do for me? And they set me up with one of their financial planners, and they sat down with me and said, if you join our super scheme, this is what we can do, this is how we can do it.

And I was like, sure, how cool.

Yeah, they were really really helpful, and I just be pay at the end of each financial year, I do a big bulk.

Can I be real pervy? So you did all your research, who did you decide to go with? Not so I can share my opinion. I'm just real pervy, you know. I just want to know where you picked and why. So I ended up going with UNI super and why.

Previously I was with the Public Sector Superannuation Fund and PSSAP. They were good, but their fees were is astronomical compared to UNI seeper. UNI seper was performing on average better and I know past performers blah blah blah blah blah. I know, but they on average performed better over the last five ten years and their fees were about half cool.

So I was like, let's go.

Why would I not want to pay less to get if not but better results.

So you mentioned before that they set you up with a financial advisor, and I know that's a service they provide but a lot of people listening and know what did you pay for that? Was that a paid service when you sat down with your financial advisor from UNI super?

No? No, it was absolutely free and it's something that all super funds, oh maybe not.

All, most most super funds.

Yeah, offer and it was really helpful. They also had a bunch of really good resources. They do webinars, they have ebooks, and you can access a free financial advisor through them a couple of times a year.

Money win, Yeah, money win.

Who doesn't want to be set up for retirement?

I mean lots of people because they just want to bury their heads in the sand, But not you, by the sounds of it.

Which I think is very very good.

Thank you.

So you've got your spaceship and then you've got your ninety seven thousand dollars in super it's going to be used towards your first home super Savior scheme.

Let's bring down the mood. Do you have any debt?

I am con human, debt free, very sexy, Thank you. I do have a hex stat which is roughly about twenty thousand dollars, and by the time I finish my law degree, it's probably gonna be sitting a little bit higher up, closer to about the sixty grand mark. That's all right, Yeah, look, when I'm earning the big bucks as a partner, It'll be worth it.

It'll be fine, and you're paid off in no time. And be honest, a lot of my clients when I was a financial advisor used to be lawyers, and because they have such high incomes, they smash their hex stets off really really quickly, and I used to be very envious of that.

Ah, good to know.

Yeah, so it is something definitely to look forward to.

Yes, I want to know now, though, what do you think is your best money habit?

My best money habit is that my cash flow system is completely automated, So everything is set up, the money hits the bank accounts, it gets transferred where it needs to go, and I don't have to check my bank account at all. It's all completely automated and ready to go.

How did you do that? That sounds like some wizard stuff.

The budget and cash Flow Masterclass. Oh I feel like I'm just like spreaking you at the moment, Like I'm.

Really enjoying this conversation for incredibly selfish reasons.

I was about to be like how did you automate it all?

Like, I'm genuinely interested, though, can you tell me, like, how did you set it up to work for you? Because obviously, in my Budget and cash Flow master Class, there's, you know, a set standard, but it doesn't tell you like which bank to go with because that would be illegal, And it doesn't tell you you know, where you should actually put your money when it comes to the actual product.

How did you decide that and make sure it worked for you?

Yeah, So my personal bank account, I am with UP because that works for me and I love being able to have lots of individual sinking funds and all that kind of stuff, whereas my husband is with a different bane. So primarily we have a two UP account and our paychecks both hit the account and then from there we

Oh my gosh. Yeah, she's set up for life.

Yeah, well the goal is she her current goal in life? Keep in mind she's seven and yeah, that's okay. We love an aspirational queen. She wants to be a marine biologist and move to the beach.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, so we're like ten thousand dollars. She can pack up, she can move to UNI.

She's got way more aspiration than me.

When I was seven years old, I'm pretty sure I would have been in like grade one or two and they did a career's day and they said what do you want to be? And I said I wanted to be a cleaner because my mum says she likes it when I help her around the house. And I mean, there's absolutely nothing wrong with becoming a cleaner, but you know, I feel like.

I've done a few more things, you know.

Yeah, well look, when I was her age, my goal was to operate you know what McDonald's, the soft serve machine.

Oh yeah, that would be a really good job.

That was my dream. My dream was to operate a soft serve machine.

I love that.

And I became a lawyer, Like, ugh, that's disgusting.

I did too.

Maybe this is why I'm always talking about bleach in my house. I'm organizing my pantry. I have the most organized fridge you've ever seen in your life. Maybe I've missed my true calling.

Yeah, you should be one of those home edit girls.

Absolutely not, because I wouldn't want to show you all the stuff I hide so that my fridge can look good.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's very relatable.

Yeah, all right, let's flip the narrative again. I wann't know. What do you think is your worst money habit?

Okay, my worst money habit is definitely dopamine seeking through spending.

Amazing. We are two peas in a pod, my friend.

Yeah, I'm in the process of getting a formal ADHD diagnosis and learning about how my little treat spending affects my money is bonkers. It's so intriesing, it's amazing.

Yeah, it's really rude too, Like when they start telling you things about yourself and you're like, I've never had an original experience in my life.

I know what you mean. This is normal. I thought that this was my personality.

I know.

It's the single worst thing about TikTok I think is that I've realized agree, every experience I've had is had by someone else, and that sucks.

Yeah what I thought I was original, but I'm living in this world of clones. We all seek dopamine by spending our money and then wonder why it's not working and try again.

I know, I know, but yeah, that's really bad for me. My worst habit, though, is particularly doper meane seeking through buying bubble tea.

Bubble tea, that's something I can absolutely relate to.

What's your order, Well, it depends on the day. I've got two, so option one is peach green tea with mango popping pearls okay, I hear you, yep, or a taro milk tea.

Oh no, you can't have the milk tea.

No, okay no.

My go to order is a passion fruit green tea with half sugar. Obviously you're gonna have the normal pearls, but you're also gonna add lie chia jelly and fresh passion fruit. Oh yeah, that's the elite order. And then you do half ice because they want more tea than ice because it's already cold, So like, don't mess me over.

Gotta do the half eyes. It's like when you go to macas and you get your drink and they fill it up with all ice, and you get this much sucks.

Yeah, exactly, And I already ordered a diet coke, Like, let me have the full cup. You know this isn't hurting anybody except my body, Like, stop it.

I love it.

Money, Dirice, we have nearly reached the end of the episode. At the start of the episode, you told me that you were a B minus, and then we had all of these great conversations. You told me a whole heap about your automated cash flow system, how you're actually a big dog earning ninety seven thousand dollars a year, that you have these big money goals. You're already using your first time super savior scheme. You are utilizing this superanuation advisors very well. I just do you still feel like

Maybe we can say I'm a B plus? Okay, all right, yeah, kiss, I think to get me to an A plus, I would like to be a bit more effective with managing my little treat spending and having my little treat fund. You know budget for it, and then it's fine. And I think when I get a little bit closer to some of my big goals, I think that would make me feel good.

Oh how exciting.

Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today. Money Dorist, thank you so much for being so raw and so real and so funny and just sharing so much with me today. In this short period of time that we have had, I have absolutely loved it and it has been an absolute pleasure, fabulous.

Thank you so much, No, thank you.

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