Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr
the Order Kerney Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money.
She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get the absolute pleasure of sitting down and talking to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their money story. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it went
like this. Hi Victoria, I'm a twenty seven year old full time agricultural student and working in an affiliated field who is coming to terms with no family support after needing to cut them off in recent years, having studied and needing to take a break to prioritize my mental health. I'm perpetually feeling like I'm at square one on my income. I can't save, i can't invest, and I'm feeling stressed about the future. Help. I need financial security asap. Money Diarist,
welcome to the show. I think you're in the right place.
Thank you so much. I think I am too.
I love this story that you want to share with us because I feel like there are going to be a lot of people in our community who are going to instantly recognize that story and feel like they really related to it. I just think that it's actually more common than we think it is to have to go through circumstances where cutting family members off happens.
Yeah, one hundred percent. Even in my friendship circle, I'm not the only one who's had this kind of experience. So yeah, I think I'm really Yeah, I'm really excited to share and hopefully other people resonate.
I'm so excited to learn more about you. All right, let's jump straight in the first question, as always, is if I asked you to give yourself a money grade from A through to F, what would it be.
I think at the moment, I would give myself a c I think, with what I'm earning at the moment and where I'm at in my life, I think I'm doing pretty well, but I think there's still some room for improvement.
Okay, interesting, we'll get into it. My favorite question, money deris can you tell me a little bit more about your money story?
Yeah? Yeah, So I'll start When I was nineteen, I'd just gotten back from my gap year. I lived abroad for a year and just had the most wonderful time. Came back and got straight into UNI, which was sort of the expectation from my family and where I grew up. I was studying something that I was really interested in, but not that passionate about. I was sort of like
going through the motions. And then about a year and a half into studying, so I was about twenty twenty one, I started to have memories resurface from my childhood and some childhood trauma that I'd experienced, and that came with, yeah, a lot of mental distress. So my mental health really
plummeted at that point. And for the first like, yeah, the next year or so, I tried to keep up with UNI, I was doing a little bit of counseling, and then it got to a point where I was like, hold on, like I really need to Yeah, I really need to go deeper into this it's not going away, and really connecting with that belief that I can get better. So I'd been on a wait list for some specific therapy for what I'd experienced for about eight months.
Oh my gosh, that's such a long time.
It is. It's a really really long time, which also just goes to show how many people need relying on that support. Yeah, my gosh. Yeah, after that long wait, I was able to access counseling with a couple of amazing social workers who I worked with for about two years, getting therapy once a week every week. And yeah, apart from just the time that that took, it was also
really mentally exhausting. So I took time off UNI to stop studying completely for two years, and I was sort of, Yeah, the most that I could manage working was three days a week, sometimes four, but yeah, mostly three days a week. So I sort of continued living on that student budget that I had had since I was nineteen. So after the next two years, really doing the work getting the help that I needed to get better and feel a
lot better in myself and capable in my life. I decided to go back to UNI to study agriculture, which yeah, I'm really really passionate about. I get super super nerdy about it. Yeah, and I'm sort of, yeah, halfway through that degree. Now I've got another two years to go, and yet working in an affiliated field now part time,
which is really awesome. But yeah, as I mentioned when I wrote in part of that recovery journey has been making a disclosure to my parents about what I experienced as a child, and unfortunately they did not respond well to that.
Oh no, yeah, I'm so sorry that was your experience, because it would have been hard to even bring it up. That's not something that I can imagine was easy.
Yeah, it was awful. It's obviously I wanted to tell them for a long time. But then yeah, because it's so shrouded in secrecy and shame, and yeah, for such a long time. Even like the biggest part of the recovery was like understanding that it wasn't my fault. And yeah, obviously, like spending all those years believing that it was my fault. I couldn't even come to terms with telling my parents because yeah, if I thought it was my fault, then
obviously they would too. But yeah, unfortunately I didn't get a positive response from them, and that sort of yeah led to me making the decision, with support from my counselors and my support team, to create some yeah wall like boundaries towards them and yeah, have to cut them off.
So it's been almost three years now since I've had direct contact with them, and obviously that means, yeah, not having any financial support, like as well as all the other stuff obviously, but yeah, I think in terms of money, that's the biggest thing for me is like knowing that if I ever needed help financially, it couldn't come from my parents or you know, even some of my friends moving back home so that they can save money to
buy a house. That's not an option for me. People sort of talk about, like when you're in your twenties, like, oh, just ring up the bank of mum and dad, and
it's like, oh, that's not an option, that's not a thing. Yeah, And instead of looking further ahead, it's like, oh, I don't know, I doubt that I'll get an inheritance and yeah, looking towards the future, bigger things that I want for my life, knowing that, yeah, I'm not going to have that support from them, and just like, yeah, it's quite an emotional burden, like feeling like I have to do it all alone.
I'm so proud of you, Like I'm just so proud of everything you've been through because that wouldn't be easy. And it's one of those things that I think a lot of people, especially going through traumatic circumstances, would you say fantasize about. They go, I wish I could do that, and you've actually done and I'm sure that you're in
a better mental space. And as much as one hundred people feel like you've lost something, I can guarantee they've lost more, Like they have lost so much more than you have ever lost, And I think that that is a reflection of them, not a reflection of you. And yeah, it's just so nice to hear from somebody who's like, no, I've actually put myself first and I know that that could impact my finances and could do all of these things. But I promise there's so many resources out there that
you don't need them. I promise you don't thank you.
Thank you so much.
It blows my mind that you've been able to do that because I know that there are going to be people listening going I wish I was as strong as that. How did you make the decision to go, you know what, I'm going to cut them off, like we're done here. I'm going to put these barriers up, because that's not an easy decision to make, not at all.
I think it was definitely a journey. I think at the start when memory started to surface, I was just in denial for quite a long time and just kept thinking like, Okay, I can see that these things happened, but it doesn't affect me. I'm fine. I think I'd just been living with such an intense level of anxiety for so many years that I didn't even understand how
unwell I was. And then through therapy, part of what we looked at was around different dynamics and how the situation that we are living in, whether it's family or community or school, like wherever these traumatic experience happened, like
the dynamics within that system that perpetuate that secrecy. So it was sort of breaking that down and understanding that like, oh, I couldn't tell my parents up until this point because of all these other dynamics at play, and then getting to a point where I felt confident in myself, confident that it wasn't my fault. I felt like I'd recovered a sense of myself and who I want to be in the world and who I can be and really
believing in that. Yeah. And then the next step was making the disclosure, and I did a lot of work with my therapists around potential outcomes of that. We did sort of role plays of like, oh, it could go this way, or it could go that way, and sort of helping me feel prepared for whatever the response would be.
And then when it wasn't a supportive response, it was just yeah, it sounds simple, but it was a matter of me saying to myself, like, their response is not my responsibility, and there's actually nothing I can do on my own to help them understand. I've given them everything that I am willing to give at this point to help them understand, and yet they just they are going
to have to meet me where I am. And that's sort of the boundary that I've put up is like, here am I, Here's what I would like you to do and if you would like to come and meet me here, then I would be open to that. But if not, it's not my responsibility.
And they haven't stepped up and tried to make any progress towards meeting you at that level.
I don't know in terms of what they've communicated to me. No, yeah, the most I get is kind of an emotionally manipulative email every couple of months.
Oh no, thank you, absolutely.
Yeah, it's not great, but yeah, I don't respond to those, and I've made steps in terms of like, yeah, I have an old email address that they have, which yeah, I don't check. It's not my regular email address. And I set up a PO box which they have that adres but they don't have my home address, mobile number, personal email, any of that. So that's yeah, been really really important for me to create that clear separation.
I'm just in awe that you've been able to create such a clear separation, and like, I want to know so much more about your life today, because that's not something that defines you, but I just know that you know, given that's what you're wrote in about. I just think it's important to really sit in that for a moment and go, well, what does that mean? How does that work? Tell me a bit more about what it means to
you now, Like, have you got really good friends around you? Like, what does support look like now?
Yeah, it definitely looks different to I guess the conventional sort of idea of Yeah. I kind of laugh when people throughout phrases like blood is thicker than water and family is everything. Absolutely not. It's just not my experience. I love it for people that do have that, but yeah,
that's that's not my life. Yeah. I have incredible friends, just yet the best, most amazing supportive people who love and adore me, and I love and adore them, and they are my family and I treat them like my family. I have, yeah, beautiful housemates. I live in a sharehouse with there's five of us, which is.
Just fancy and busy all at one time.
Yeah, so where Yeah, we just have a beautiful dynamic. I feel really supported in my home, which is really important to me. Up until February, I went through a breakup, which.
Is a whole thing, but just what you needed exactly.
I had, Yeah, just a beautiful, supportive, loving partner who was with me through, yeah, through the whole journey. Really we got together when I was twenty and we broke up when I was twenty six. So yeah, she was there through all of it, providing a lot of just like love and care and emotional support and affirmation which was amazing.
And yeah, therapists, I just the best, solid tens out of tens, one hundred percent.
I don't see those same therapists that I saw for that two year period anymore. I sort of got to a point where I needed to leave the public system. So now I see someone who I yeah, is someone private, so I pay to go and see them. But it's so so important. Yeah, therapy, body work. Yeah, I'm obsessed with acupuncture and boween therapy and getting that you know, somatic system involved. Yeah, so I have a lot of support.
Oh I'm so so glad to hear that. All right, I want to know so much more about you as a human being, not about what you've been through. So tell me. Let's get into the nitty gritty of it. What do you earn and what do you do for work?
Yeah? So in my degree, my major is in soil science. So I got a job this year at a soil and environmental science consulting firm. So I'm working in the lab there, which is really really fun. So that's what I do for work three days a week, and this semester at UNI, I made the decision to drop back to part time because that had credits from previous study that I can fill in some of those elective spots. I've been able to create a little bit more space.
So yeah, doing part time UNI and part time work, So that's yeah, Monday to Friday what I'm doing. And I still am on sentling I actually, which yeah, some people might not know, but yeah, you get youth allowance from twenty one depending on your circumstances, but you transition out of youth allowance when you turn twenty five and move on too oz study. But because both of the degrees that I've done are undergraduate degrees, they only give you three and a half years of student support payments.
So at the beginning of the year I got a lot from Centalinks saying that my odd study payment time had run out, which was hell is.
Stressful, I guess it sounds it, but yeah, I was.
Able to talk to them and I was able to go on a different type of payment, which yeah, has been great. So I still get senlink. But between senalincn work, I own about one one hundred dollars a fortnite.
What does that look like? So you were saying in your letter into me, like, look, I can't say if I can't invest, I don't feel like the one one hundred dollars a fortnite goes that far. Does that mean that you're really constricted? Like what does your budgeting look like? Because obviously there's things in your budget that might not be in mine.
Yeah, I think, well, my biggest expense is rent. That's about a third of my income. I yeah, obviously pay for groceries, bills, incidental things. Now that I'm paying for therapy, again, that's an expense. I have a gym membership. I try and not restrict myself too much. So I still like to buy myself something nice every now and then, or ye go out to dinner with my friends or my housemates,
or go and get drinks. So I try to have a balance of like making sure that my material needs are met and then also yeah, being involved in life. But yeah, there's just not really any room to try and save a lot of money. I do try and build up an emergency fund, but yeah, I often have to dip into it.
So that's okay, that's so fine.
It feels kind of demoralizing sometimes.
No, absolutely not. What you've got to remember is this is a season of your life. Like life is not going to be like this forever. You're not going to be studying forever. You're not going to be on sending forever. You're not going to have this income forever. And if you can't save right now, do you know why? Because it makes sense. It makes sense that you can't save with that. It's not because you're bad at money. It's not because you're, you know, maybe not good at navigating things.
It's because, babe, there's not enough of it.
It just makes sense.
And the fact that you even prioritize an emergency fund tells me that you are so financially literate, like you're ready to take all of those next steps, and like, look what you'll be able to create when you do have more income because of the priorities you've set up. If you're dipping into your emergency fund, that's what it's for, to make sure you're not going into debt. Don't let that be demoralizing. Let that be something that you go so glad I put that to the side because I
completely forgot this was coming up this month. Look what past you did for future you? Like that's kind of sexy.
Yeah, yeah, it is. Okay, that's so much nicer way to think about it.
One thousand percent it is. Don't think it's a bad thing. I feel like so many times people crucify themselves for being bad at money, when the reality is that just isn't enough of it in that season of life for you to do all the things that you prioritize. So I think everybody says things like I really want to save, I really want to invest like we do, because if you're listening to this podcast and you're part of my community, you know the value of that. You know what that
can do for future you. And it does feel like you're missing out when you're not able to do those things. But I think we have to be reasonable right now. Technically, my friend, you could go out and get a full time job. You absolutely could, but you're setting yourself up in a career that you're going to love, a career that you're going to have a really good time in while making good income. But we've got to study first. We've got to go through this to get out the
other side. And that's okay. Yeah, it's so okay. But I do have a dumb question, Yes, what is soil science? And how did you get involved in that? How does someone wake up one day and say, do you know what? I'm just so interested in soil science? Yeah, where would I use that in my everyday life?
It's a great question. In most people's everyday life. I just don't think you would use it.
I'm glad because I've never heard of it.
If you've got some pot plants, you might want to know a few things about soil, But yeah, for most people, it's not part of everyday life. Basically, what it is is a series of sort of things that make up soil, so the chemistry, the physical structure, and the biology and how all of those things interact and then how they interact with plants and the broader environment. So yeah, I'm really interested in things like sort of helping stop erosion,
which causes huge problems for the environment. In Australia, we have very old soils, so they don't have a lot of nutrients in them compared to other places in the world, So it means that when we're growing food, we have to apply a lot of fertilizers, and then if we're not being responsible with how we're applying those, it can leach out into the environment in our waterways and cause all sorts of issues there. So it's a pretty Yeah. I feel like it's really important.
That's very cool.
I'm glad I asked. I feel smarter because I asked, Oh, that's good, and that's something that's so necessary. And here you are being like, oh, I don't think I'm doing that well, and you're basically saving our planet. Ten out of ten you.
Thank you. Vin.
All Right, I need to know more. What are your big money goals. I know you said I'm not able to save, I'm not able to invest, But talk to me about what your big money goals are and what we're working towards.
At the moment, my biggest money goal is to travel more. I yeah, did a gap year and it was amazing, And one of the most amazing things about it was meeting incredible people who, yeah, I just my people, but they just happened to live very very far away from me. So I haven't seen two of my best friends in all most five years. So I really really want to go and see them ones in Mexico and the other ones in England.
So not bad places to visit, not at all.
And there's yeah, a bit of a UNI exchange that I'm looking at for next year over my winter UNI break, so it would be summer in Europe where I want to go. So I would really really love to do that, But obviously travel costs a lot of money. And then thinking longer term, I really would like to have kids one day. And I'm gay, so that makes it a little bit more complicated and expensive than for our hetero friends. So yeah, that's sort of something that I think about
for the future. And yeah, I think just being able to move outside of the paycheck to paycheck mindset is yet a big goal of mine.
Yeah, and it's going to be so easy once you have a full time job. I feel like you're in the right mindset. I love it. I feel like you've come so far. Let's go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, I'm going to ask you about maybe if you have investments and then invest and worse money habits, because I feel like you've probably got a few good ones up your sleeve, don't go anywhere. Guys. All right, money diarist, we are back, and I want
to know first cab off the rank. I know you said you don't have money to invest, but do you have any investments? If so, what are they?
I do listen to your podcast, so I know that superannuation is an investment. This is where I was going. I looked it up before this. I have almost ten thousand dollars in super.
Well that's good.
Yeah, it is good. Yeah. I think having that and knowing that I've got that also helps me understand investing more, which is really cool. Looking at my little graph of how much my money has grown is really fun. But I would like to invest more. I'm just in a situation now where if I have money in investments and I'm on settlink, it'll mess with that whole thing and might mean that I get kicked off sent a link. So yeah, just super at the moment.
Yeah, now is the season of your life where you're supposed to be learning about investments, Maybe not investing immediately, maybe not like kicking it off, but putting yourself in a position where you're ready you can do it. You know what you'd want to do, how it would work, what that would look like. You're totally across your super and how that has been performing and working over the
last few years. And I think that too many of us when we listen to the Sheese on the Money podcast, immediately go I really need to be investing, and yeah, great, Like I want you to invest as soon as possible too, but I want you to invest as soon as it is financially feasible and doesn't put additional pressures on you. I think that a lot of people get FOMO, and if that's the case, there are so many resources out
there where we can learn about it for free. Listen to the pod, hang out with us for a while. I don't care if you haven't invested yet or not, like there's going to be a good reason why you haven't, and that's totally okay. But I just know the second you have your full time job and you hit the ground running, oh my gosh, you're going to kill it. It's going to be great.
Thank you.
Next question I have my friend is do you have any debts? If so, what are they?
Yeah? I do have debt in terms of my hex. I've been really careful about taking out personal loans just because I know that I don't have a backup plan if that starts to snowball. I do use after pay every now and then, but yeah, I really make sure that I am going to be able to pay it off. So my HEX set at the moment, combined with the startup loans that I've received over the last few years, is almost thirty four thousand dollars.
Pretty standard, which is a bit scary now, pretty standard, especially if you're halfway through your degree. There was one point in my life where my HEX s deet was more than six figures. I think that gave me mad anxiety. But you know what you get what you get. Yeah, all right, next question, I feel like you've got probably a few good ones up your sleeve. What is your best money habit?
Yeah, I was thinking about this question. I think my best money habit is prioritizing my mental health. I always prioritize spending money on therapy. I go to therapy regularly, but if I'm having a particularly difficult week or fortnight or month, I prioritize booking in that extra session. Yeah, going to acupuncture, getting a massage, doing simpo, and like
all these things that I have in my toolbox. To help me stay mentally, well, yeah, if it means eating beans and rice for a week, because I've spent money on therapy instead, I'd always rather spend that money on my mental health. Yeah. In terms of other money habits, I do have a budget, which I try stick as close to as possible. But I really like to visualize where my money is going because it's so easy for me to just tap on my card and let it fly away.
So relatable.
Yeah, it's just so easy. If I yeah, I'm thinking of buying myself something I do really like to treat myself. But I do have that conversation with myself of like, Okay, can I afford this right now? Can I afford this in a month? If I buy this now? What else? What do I have to sacrifice? Because my income is so small. If I am spending money in one area, it might have to come out of another area, So I try and be quite conscious of that.
I love that. I love that you're so thoughtful in your purchases because so many people on similar income just go eh, I don't care or deal with it later. And this idea of your asking yourself can I afford it next month? Is this something that is going to be compromise. In other areas, people don't ask themselves these questions. I've got serious issues to take up with you after about why you think you're only a set. But we'll
get there in a minute. I want to know next, though, what is your worst money habit?
Yeah, my worst money habit. I think it comes with the territory. But I always make plans for when I have extra money, which just doesn't really happen. So it sort of keeps me in the cycle of like always
feeling like I don't have enough and always wanting for things. Yeah, and I sort of when I do get a little bit more money, like yeah, I just recently sold a bunch of clothes that I don't wear anymore, and I already had in my head like, oh, I'm going to spend this money on this, this, and this, which yeah, is probably fine, but because it it's sort of like this idea I have of like, oh, this is extra money.
It's that girl math that's going around. I feel like, have you seen all of those tiktoks and those instagrams? It's a girl math. If it's on a gift card, it's free money. If I sold an outfit. It's free money. Like I laughed so much because that is our mentality. I mean, we as women are smarter than that. But I don't know. Sometimes you need to give yourself a little treaty treat and that's okay.
Yeah, I think, yeah, it does create extra stress sometimes to be like, oh I need to Like I had a righty pair of Doc Martins that I'd had for like eight years and they were just disgusting, Like I just it got to the point where I just like would be out wearing them.
They were well loved, Yeah, I would.
Just feel like embarrassed to have them on my feet. And they're expensive shoes, and I was always like, oh, when I have a bit of extra money, I will buy that pair of shoes. And then when I did get a bit of e X your money, I was like, oh, actually I'm going to spend this money on this instead. Yeah, it's a bit of a trap.
So where are we at with the Doc Martins Now we're still wearing my loved ones? Oh good way.
No, I found some on marketplace for about half the retail price, so I was very happy with that money.
En I love that. Yeah, she's savvy with those shopping too.
Uh huh. Yeah. I think the other like money habit that I thought of, which, yeah, I don't know if it's as much of a habit as it is a mindset, is that because I don't have that connection with my family, I know that whatever money I earn, or whatever big financial decisions I want to make in the future, it's all going to come down to me and like money
that I personally have. So it's sort of this belief that, like, no matter how much money I have, or how much money I save or invest, it's never going to be enough.
That's not true, though, is it.
Yeah.
I feel like that's such a commonplace to be. But I mean, I don't want to compare circumstances because everybody else's circumstances are different. But there are so many people in our community who have really great relationships with their parents and still can't rely on them financially. And I mean, it's so nice to think that, you know, you've got
that support in the background. But I am a very big believer that family has made and you can create your own and there are going to be you know, at the end of the day, if sh one t hits the fan, I promise from what you've told me, there are people around you that would support you through anything that you were going through. And that is more than what a lot of people have, even if they
have relationships with their parents. So I think it's one of those things where it feels really lonely and it feels really awful because you're comparing to a reality that you thought was going to be yours, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not. And now you're creating your own financial freedom, and you know you've got the
big goals. You want to have kids, and I'm assuming that if you want to have kids, you probably want another partner at some point, and then there'll be a dual income and you get to create your own reality and your own family and have you know, the respect that wasn't afforded to you in that family. And I think that that that's so beautiful, Like that's better than going, oh, we might get an inheritance, or we might get some cash, or we might do Now we don't need that. We
can do it on our own. We don't need other people to come in and save us when we're completely capable human beings. And I think that That is a very hard pill to swallow, especially if you grew up in a family that from the outside looking in looked really loving and kind and supportive and all of those things, when in reality they've shown you that that's not what they are, and that's heartbreaking.
Yeah.
So no, oh my gosh, no bad money habits. Last question I have for you, At the very start of this conversation, when I asked you what your money habits were graded, you said, I'm a C. Can you expland a little bit more on why you think curious? And if after this conversation you still think you fall into that bucket, and if you do, why.
I thought I was a C. I think exactly what you just talked about. I think I was comparing myself to what I thought I should have and because I'm in my late twenties now, so are all my friends. I'm looking at my friends who have been working full time for you know, like five plus years, and looking at their investments, terrible comparison to get to spend money on. Yeah, So I was sort of like, oh, I think I'm
doing all right for where I am. So I'll give myself a C. But I definitely feel a lot better since this chat. I think I would even I think I would give myself an A.
I would give you an A too, I absolutely would. Like I just feel like hearing this story and what you've been through and what you're like currently going through, and what you earn and how you're allocating it, and how thoughtful you are with the way that you spend your money in the act that you budget, and you just have this level of reflection that a lot of people don't have when going to make purchases. I just go,
there's no way you're a C like, absolutely not. And I think that sometimes we grade ourselves lower because we think that to be good at money we have to have lots of it, and you don't have to have lots of money to be good at money. Like, from my understanding, you're killing it basically, And that's really cool because do you know how many full time people have incomes of six figures and also six figures of personal debt? Yeah,
like my friend, they think they're killing it. And I don't mean to throw shade at that, but there's just this demographic of people who you might look at and go, wow, I really can't believe that they're doing so well and they're you know, absolutely loving life, but you don't see what's going on under the hood. And I think it's just so important to put those blinkers back on and only look at your journey and how well you're doing for you and stop comparing yourself to friends. I do
it all the time. It's so toxic. One out of ten cannot recommend doing that. Terrible strategy. Yeah, yeah, it sucks one out of ten. All right, money Darrist. Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today. I have a door getting to know you, have a chat with you, and really just shed some light on a topic that
we hadn't discussed on the podcast before. As I said before, I'm so ridiculously proud of you, and I just know you've got so much to achieve and you're going to go so far, and I hope that you keep in touch and keep me updated and let me know what goes on.
Thank you so much for it's been awesome chatting with you.
Oh my gosh, right back at you.
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