MONEY DIARIES: It took three years and $$$ to settle her dad's will

She's on the Money.

She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome to another shot back money Diary Monday, where we get to talk to one about gorgeous community members all about their money story, their challenges, what they're doing, their hotes, their dreams, and we just kind of get all the juicy goss.

Really, don't we be?

We definitely do.

It's a very exciting time. We get to peer behind the curtain a little bit. And I've got a great story for you today. Do you want me to read it out?

I am very excited? What have you got for me?

So?

Our diarist says. My parents divorced when I was five. Both had different spending habits, and unfortunately I got mom's side of spending. I moved out of home and interstate at twenty two got into a world of personal debt from twenty two to twenty seven. My dad passed away three years ago unexpectedly, and his will wasn't up to date, so it was a really long and difficult process for

And we actually got a ride very.

Recently about wills and estate planning and all of that, so I feel like this is a really good and interesting one to talk about, kind of as a follow up to that.

It's crazy because nobody takes wills in a state planning seriously until something really dramatic happens. Money Diarist, I believe you're hanging out with us already. Hello, how are you? Oh my gosh, I'm so good. I feel like this is going to be such an interesting money dory and I cannot wait to jump straight in. So let's do that, Money Diarist, Can you tell us a little bit about your money story.

I think it's been very complicated. So when my parents separated when I was five years old, they both met other partners. My dad and his previous wife, well his next wife worked in government and for universities, and that was quite like supportive, and we always had enough. And then my mum met someone who had three kids of their own and they had two more together, so money was a bit more tight between us. With a family of two adults and then ended up being seven children.

A lot of children.

Yeah, So I definitely heard from like a young age that you know, they didn't have any money and we were expensive.

To look after because there was a lot of us.

And there was times where you know, Mum's like I've only got fifty dollars in my account for the week.

So I think.

They were two very different circumstances, but I was always looked after. I just think later on in life I didn't really get taught about money habits. I started working full time from when I was eighteen and saved up and when overseas on a gap year, and then when I came back and had more responsibilities, I think that's when I just didn't have the guidance that I needed all the knowledge in general just to be able to look after myself and to not spend more than my means. Yeah.

Wow, yeah, oh, I'm going to ask so many questions about that.

Yeah.

And then fast forward a couple of years, I decided that I wanted to move to Sydney from Canberra and I got a job up here. The job wasn't the best paying, but I was just super excited to live outside of home and be on my own and really wanted to travel, but didn't have enough money too, so I got out a personal loan and then it kind

Gosh, I love how you're viewing it now as opposed to how you grew up. But I'm going to ask other questions about that later in the show. Onto the next question. What do you currently do for work and how much money do you earn?

So I'm a team assistant for a commercial property developer in the city and as of yesterday, I finished my propriation.

Or congrass thank you.

I'm now on ninety thousand dollars a year, including super oh very nice.

How exciting. And you passed probation. That's always such. I feel like we all know how we're going to do on probation, right, Like you kind of know you're doing a good job, but there's still that underlying level of anxiety where you like but anything could happen, and so when you pass it you're like, yes, Like I knew this was coming, but it's such a relief.

Especially with COVID as well. It's just one more layer.

So you like, eh, what's going on? That is so true? Money Diarist, what is your big money at the moment.

I'd really like to buy a property this year with my partner, So that's the big goal. We've got a long way to go before we get there. We're not in a super rush, but the goal is to add more savings to our existing savings and then you know, feel comfortable with it.

Awesome. Do you currently invest money? Diarist?

Well, I have Super so that's yes, Queen.

Great answer, great answer.

But other than that, not at the moment.

It's something I'd like to do in future, but I think I want to rebuild my relationship with money first. If I can get a house or a property, that would be great, and I think that will be.

The next step.

Yeah, epic on investment, still talk to me about Super. How much priority do you put on it? How much time have you spent looking at it?

Not a lot.

I check it every couple of months, I guess, maybe like every quarter and make sure you know it's all coming through from work.

And that's fine. I feel all right with it.

I think I could be more involved in it. I think I could utilize the superneration company more to talk about what I want my.

Future to look like.

And I guess I can't remember what are they called? What are the different types of investments?

The portfolios?

Yes, I think I could be more involved with what portfolios are available and what would suit me best.

My gosh, that is a really good point that you bring up utilizing the super company. Like most super companies.

Have advisors and teams that you can just call ninety nine percent of the time for free to be like, hey, this is a goal of mine. Am I going to be able to achieve it?

And they'll be able to let you know and talk you.

Through stuff like that. That's what they're there for. Go get the free advice from your supercompany. I mean, obviously, take everything with a grain of salt, because they can't advise you on whether you should stay with the super company or if you should go or with the right.

You know, the right actual company for you. But when it comes to have I got enough money in there, like what amount of contribution. Should I be investing to achieve X, Y and Z. They'll know all those answers, so definitely give them a buzz. But I could go on about super forever, ask Jess I actually do in the office. The next question for your money diarist is do you currently have any debts?

I have a credit card.

The limit is one thy five hundred, so that's more just for me and my partner if we want to go just traveling within Australia and we want to book a higher car and we can put that on there. It's fully paid except for two hundred dollars for address that I've got for a wedding in two weeks time. Oh exciting, and I'll pay that off when I get paid next week.

So before when we read out your money story, obviously you've been in some debt before. How much debt were you in and how did.

You get out of it? I think the total number wasn't very nice. I think it was like between a personal loan.

And a car.

It was combined, probably about five thousand dollars. So I got a personal loan in twenty seventeen to essentially fund a trip to go overseas and to help me, like with paying rent while I was away, And I had also bought a second hand car on finance six months before that as well, and then I increased it over a couple of years as well, so I kept paying it off and then would increase it.

I feel like that's the cycle of debt because you go, oh my gosh, like if your ste comes up, like you need to, but you also get into debt and then you rely on it in a way you're like, okay, cool, like I know, if something comes up, I can just put it on there and I'll just keep paying it off, right, Like it's not that big of an issue. But what you forget is that it's an issue for future you. And I feel like it's such a cycle.

Yeah, twenty two year old me did not care about twenty seven year old me.

Oh, she was like, she'll have it together.

She'll be fine, of course she will, she'll be great. In fact, like we don't know her. Who's twenty seven year old me? Like we don't care about her, we've never met her.

When you're twenty two to twenty seven, themes so far away.

Also, there's such different ages as well, Like Jess, you're twenty seven. Now you just turned twenty eight July. Not sure, Yeah, now twenty eight this year though, twenty twenty two and twenty yeah. Okay, so we're on track for me to remember my team's birthday dates. That's good. But do you remember when you were twenty two? Like I remember back to being twenty two, and it's such a different mindset to twenty seven.

I was very similar to Osiris in that I was stuck in the debt cycle at that age. So I think it's heaven and it's it's Yeah, it just happens to everybody when you're younger and you don't have access to that level of education. And we'll probably talk a little bit later. You said about you know, your mum's spending habits and how that.

Influences I've got so many questions about that.

Yeah, and so when you've been brought up that way, it's just kind of a way of life, really, isn't it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like when you talk about ages and you might go of victoria, but like the difference between being a six year old and being a ten year old that's massive too. But I feel like once you turn eighteen nineteen, you get to twenty two, you genuinely

Just really buried my head in the sand. Just didn't want to think about like future me as well, because I obviously didn't have enough to cover my expenses, so I was just like just took it, you know.

My month at a time.

So when I got to about twenty three twenty four, I was like, okay, I really need to try and start paying this step down. And I sold my car and that covered the payment of it.

So that was a great start.

So that knocked about like ten thousand dollars off, and then I had ways to go with the rest of the debt. And my goal was to just keep paying it and then try and increase my salary.

With working as well.

And I was settling into my career more and I knew I had better opportunities down the line, and I just I didn't pay additional but I did prioritize it in a way where I was like, Okay, I'm not miss I think any payments. I'm just going to keep going with it and then I'll get there and then if I get a salary increase, you know, then I can start paying more of it off.

I feel like that's such a common mindset. Yeah, I'll just pay it off and it earn more. I'll learn more at some point soon it should be right.

So I was doing that and then when my dad passed away unexpectedly, it was awful and I would have anything bring him back. But also at the same time, I was like, okay, well, I'm going to get an inheritance and I can use that to pay it off. Little did I know that the will wasn't up to date and it was a really long.

Process for our family.

So it took just under three years, and in that time, I still kept paying off my debt, so I had gotten most of it down. So as I like July, I think it was just under like seven thousand dollars, and that was when I was about to start my new job, and I was it was a really big salary increase for me, so I was like, Okay, I can definitely pay this off by the end of the year.

Oh how good. So you ended up paying it off all on your own and weren't reliant on like the inheritance to wipe your debt clean.

Yeah, yeah, I still need my mom and my stepdad helped me out with some lawyers fees during the process as well, so I did pay them back. That was always like, when it comes through, this is what you'll be paying back.

So I was like, okay, that's fine.

Yeah, so yeah, that's the debt that I paid off with it, so which.

Wasn't too bad.

Yeah. I really like that. You got to set the mindset and the habit up of saving and paying off a debt. Because one thing that I do find, and I guess having had experience with a lot of people who have gotten inheritance, is because that's actually what I specialize in in my wealth business, a lot of people their in debt. When they receive an inheritance, they wipe

It, I never never want to do it again.

Yeah, understandably so, but it's such a different mindset to one of oh, well that was wiped off. It's not an issue. It was never a stress for me, like I didn't have to pay it off in a way. So I do find it super interesting watching people and their mindsets around inheritances because over the next I think it's over the next ten years, there's going to be the biggest shifted into generational wealth that Australia has ever experienced.

Diarist, Do you shop that? Yes? I do.

Oh my gosh, what are true? She's on the Money Community member Jess.

Yeah, I do love it, and I think one of the previous Money diarists she's like, oh, I use it for everything. If I'm like buying flowers, and I was like, oh, I didn't know you could like use it other than like online shopping like the Iconic and for clothes and things. So I've just bought some furniture, so I've used it on that, like booking trips away with like the accommodation.

That takes a bit of the Christmas stress, just like it adds up like slowly.

But you know, extra two hundred dollars at Christmas time makes all the difference.

It's a lot of money. Like that's a fair few presents that are off the list and you don't have to worry about. Jess, I have a question for you. We were talking about how our money direst is now using it for more than just like clothes on the Iconic. Who's work account did you shop back connected to in the shees on the Money office, Jesscricci.

That would be mine because we don't have a Sheese on the money account and stupid. Any opportunity to make an extra dollar, I'm all about it.

But you did ask.

I did ask.

So for those listening along that like, maybe I should put this on my work computer, only do that if you have permission. Otherwise you could find yourself in a whole heap.

Of trouble with Let just do it.

I mean, she deserves it, right, It's.

Like a treat yourself moment. It's a good point you make though about like other stuff to online shopping, because someone shared with us a couple of weeks go on Instagram. You can use it on calls online. So if you do your grocery shop, you can do like the click and collect. If you don't want to pay the extra for the delivery, which I don't because I'm stingy, you can place your click and collect, get the shot back, and then just pick it up like you would normally, which is pretty cool.

That's great. That's a great tip. I didn't know that.

Yeah, saving money for everybody.

Your a genius, Jesse Ricci. All right, obviously that's good money habit. But we are now going to ask you money, Darrist, what is your best money habit?

I would say, I really know what's coming in and out of my account. So I'm like aware and keeping like keep in check of like how much money we've got in our account, and like what I've got in my account, and this is my expenses that are coming up, and I get paid monthly, so every month I know, like what are the events that I've got one that I'm going to need a little bit extra for and

Take an exception there.

Yeah, we can bend the rules right, just a little bit, especially for a door like I get it. Yeah, they send you a Timtam, so it's worth it, right, do it all.

For the Timtam. As a fellow organized person, I feel like that is a really undervalued skill. We don't often hear people say when we ask them this question, Oh, my best skill or my best hack is that I have visibility. And visibility is so important because if you can't see, if you don't know what you've got coming in and going out, I feel like you don't have the foundation to set up those really good habits like

Yeah, and it's nice to feel that if some month I've got a lot on and you know, I've got friends getting married and you know those are bigger expensive and like bigger birthdays with my family, that I'm not hurting my I'm still putting savings aside. But even if it's less like I'm still that's okay. Like if it's a couple hundred dollars less than the previous month, at least I'm still saving. Rather than if I never checked.

Yeah, it's a good mindset to have. I really like that. Next question, though, is the exact opposite. Money Diarist, what's your worst money?

Haveit a little bit of treat yourself sometimes when you know, maybe a couple of weeks ago, I've bought something that I've wanted for a long time, and then on occasion, especially if things are on sale, I'm like, well that's really good. I really like that, And that's going to serve a good purpose for me. But I probably could wait another couple of weeks. But I think when things are on sale, I'm like, Okay, I'll get it now because I'll be saving this extra money.

But that's not the worst thing. If it's a super planned purchase, right, Like, that's not bad at all. I think, in fact, that's a pretty good money habit. I mean, obviously, when it comes to cash flow, it might not be putting you in the best possible position. But if you're like, I'm gonna buy this in a few weeks anyway, and it's on tail now, I'm like, that's a money we in, is it not? Maybe into.

Yeah, just getting a lot better?

Yeah, all right, money Diaris. Last question before we go to a bit of a break is what grade would you give yourself if we forced you to give your money habits A grade.

I would say a bee. I've progressed a lot. I made a lot of changes to my mindset, but I think I've got ways to go. I have some big goals with wanting to buy a house, and I want to be able to keep saving as well. So I really only felt like the last six months I've been able to save over the last couple of years, so I really want to keep those habits for the future.

Oh, I really like that. All Right, I have a whole heap of questions for you after this really quick break. All Right, we are back and money dirist, I want to get into it. You said that your parents divorced when you were quite young. They went their separate ways, started their own families, and your mum had seven kids in total in the end, which would put a financial squeeze on anybody, right, Like that is a lot of those are a lot of mouths to feed. How did

So my mom was with someone from when I was five till I was twelve, So my mother had me and my sister and he had three and then they had two together. So I definitely felt when I was like thirty, even though she had separated from him, I just wanted my own money and I wanted to work and just be able to buy things for myself because I know there was a lot of pressure on her. So I guess when I was younger, I really wondered like how she was affording to like look after all

And did you feel that you were putting I mean, just based on your language, did you feel that you were putting strain on your mum? And if so, how did you, I guess as a young kid operate in those different situations.

Well, I just knew as.

Soon as I could work, I would, So I got my first job when I was just under fifteen, a baker's.

Delight, and I was.

So happy to have my own money and just be able to like buy the clothes and things that I wanted and CDs. I definitely knew that at Dad's place he would have more capability to like buy me bigger things or bigger ticket items rather than asking my mum.

Am value that a lot, but I know that it was just it was.

A lot easier on my dad's side from what I knew, which probably wasn't a lot because money wasn't really spoken about heavily in either of our families except from my mum, but I knew she was a lot more stressed about it.

So it sounds like they worked really hard to make that work for you guys, with those two very different dear styles, which I think.

Is really special.

With a situation like that where one family could potentially afford to give you more or be a little more comfortable, there would have been a huge potential for that to put a strain on that relationship, So I think it's so admirable and really worth highlighting that they worked through that to do as much as they could for you guys within the bounds of their own means.

Yeah, Yeah, that's really special. I like that because often, you know, once a couple divorces, like there's a personal level of that, so sometimes they don't work as well together or there's something going on, but it's nice to know that they were harmonious. Can we pivot the conversation to talking about wills and estate planning for a hot You know, when your father passed away, was that an expected thing or was it an absolute shock?

Like?

Can you tell us a little bit about that process.

It was a pretty big shock.

So he had been unwell for quite some time, so he went through a second divorce. He had previously struggled with alcoholism, and I think that was just really the kind of the last straw for him and he moved away, So he moved up to Queensland, so we just didn't have the same connection. And I think I was really upset that my life had kind of turned upside down because he had been with his wife at the time for fifteen years and since I was five, so it

Well, that's really sweet that that's how you viewed it, like it was obviously your dad's leaving and that's changed for you. But it was because they wouldn't get the experience that you got with him.

Yeah, and he was a really wonderful dad. He could definitely manage us. So he left and then we just lost contact, and it upset me that he didn't want to be around as much. But I think I really just didn't know the extent of how living with an addiction works and how much it changes a person's personality. So when he passed away, I knew he wasn't probably in the best place, but I didn't realize how severe that it was, and neither did the rest of my family.

So yeah, it was a bit. It was a big shock to us.

That's really awful, but that's how it sometimes works for some people. An addiction is it's not easy to hide, but people with it work incredibly hard, oh to shelter you from that so that you might not And as you said, you didn't know the full extent of it. And I don't think that that's anyone's fault.

It just is what it is.

But it's also there's a level of denial in these things as well. So he didn't think it was as bad as it was. He didn't know that that was going to be the case. And you know, when it comes to I guess the overlay of wills and estate planning, you're already grieving, like you're already having a really shitty time to then find out you have to go through this entire process of like claiming a will. What was that like and how did you find out that it would be that hard?

I didn't find out it would be that hard until I was in it, and once it had started. So he had a will of from when he was married, and then once he had his second divorce, he didn't update it, which was what caused the issue. So when you divorce from somebody and if they're in your will, it treats them like they've died.

So the first schedule of his will is.

Like everything will go to my wife, so that was void.

And then the second.

Part of the world was for his four daughters, including me, and because in the will it looked like that my younger sisters wouldn't have any parents and that they would be orphans because it treated like his.

Expension like she had died.

So the majority of this estate went to them, and we didn't feel like it was a fair split between us because now all four children had one parent each.

Yeah, and they both had a mum still around. Yeah, that was it was just the legalities and the way the legals work and split it. It's crazy to think that that is how it is, and you would think, wellias are smart, they'd be able to have that conversation, but they have to adhere to what the law says, right, Yeah.

So we asked my sister's mother.

We're like, look, we think that the will should, like his estate should be split more fairly between us. This was quite recently after he'd passed away. I think maybe after two months. That's what we decided on. And then as time went on, we started to get in contact with lawyers and started the process and they advised us that we were going to need a deed to amend this to show that yes, we had all agreed with each other, and that's what took a really long time.

And stress.

Yeah, and we all know like that he would want the four of us just to have it as even as possible. Yeah, because our testamentary trust were you can't access it until you're twenty five, and I was just twenty four at the time, so I didn't have long to go, but my youngest ones had a very long time there. And to us, we're like, well, that's at least ten fifteen years where you're able to invest that.

Yeah, that's fair, And I would have to because testamentary trusts are very hard to argue with. You would have to keep that in cash. Like if that was the case where you're correct, like if you amend that, they could invest it in the interim. So it's a really fickle part of the law and a part of you know, life, that people don't think about, and it is really stressful and it is really complicated. So, my friend, what ended

So we decided to split it sixty forty, So my two youngest ones have thirty percent each, and then myself and my sister we have twenty percent each.

And how I'm going to be so pervy? How did you come to that as being a fair split when just before you said my dad would want it even so.

In the will originally it was seventy thirty, so right, it wasn't too far off, but it wasn't fifty to fifty, So I just that's what we pushed for.

So, yeah, that's fair. It's just interesting to understand the splait. Yeah, not being too person.

No no, no, no, it's good for people to learn about like this is this is what can happen absolutely in a line.

And then to take it another layer further, your dad's estate, what was it made up of? Was it just cash? Was it cash and assets like properties? Was there a life insurance or an insurance component to this that needed to be paid out? And how did the semantics of all of that happen.

So it was superannuation, which was the majority of it because he'd worked for university.

We have nice super.

He did have nice super ah, and then he had a dad. Yeah, he had a small unit. And then he had some cash as well. But most of the cash, I reckon was taken up by just managing the estate and yeah, and legal fees.

Yeah, and that's something that you just don't realize that's such an expensive process. Like people who are like, oh, it doesn't matter if we don't have a will, Like, yes, it does.

Yeah.

In fact, a clean, clear will would have saved you, guys, not only three years, but a whole heap of headaches and admin and legal conversations that you needed to wrap your head around and the stress of being like I don't understand it. Is someone screwing me over here? Like do I get it? Do I not get it? Are they operating my best interests? Like were you comfortable through that process? Like how did you manage it personally?

And so you were okay? Now there was a lot of meltdowns.

I'm not surprised.

Yeah.

I used to work with someone who was in family law, so that was really helpful. Just to be able to ask her questions. And then the lawyers that we had my sister and I as beneficiary. She was really great and made sure that we were comfortable and we understood everything that was going on, and then gave us scenarios

So yeah, that's fair, that's fair.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that you had this experience.

You're so welcome.

If anyone does need a little bit more insight intervals, as we said at the top, we did cover that not too long ago. Also have a search through the feed for more information. There's also some really great government resources out there that will link in the show notes that you can look into.

Yeah, and one thing that I want to say this has been again Jess is absolutely correct. Thank you for sharing that because it's not when it's not easy to talk about, but it's such an intimate part, Like I'm asking about how your father passed away and what that looked like and how that worked, and it's a lot. But it's also so powerful for the community to hear that, because often when we have a friend going through a similar situation, you're like, what was the real process?

Like you just know that they're working it out, Like you're not going to ask those pervy questions because usually you're like, I don't want to pry I don't want to, you know, overstep my MUK. I just need to make sure that they're okay. And this story I think is

It's for your family. It's to make a really horrible time for them so much easier and stress very So I really would encourage everyone to get one.

Yes, exactly exactly, all right, well money diarist, I do think that is all we have time for today with FIM recording for ages. Again, thank you for joining us. But just before we head off, as always, we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait island of People's. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on

Advice shared on Cheese on the money is generally nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the money. Is this purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. And we promise Victoria Divine is an authorized representative of Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven zero four nine AFSL two three six five two three.

I'm not used to that yet, jess.

It, that's a little more weird.

I'll get baby next week. Say later, guys.

Bye,