Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast and millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where we get to talk to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it went like this, Dear Victoria, I became a single mom six months ago after finally getting the courage to
leave my ex. He was financially abusive and draining my money for the six years we were together, but now I'm recovering and flourishing. I finally feel like myself again and have savings, investments, and I'm even putting money away from my daughters who are one and two years old, to help them with their studies when they finish school. She's on the Money really helped me on this journey. Money Diarist, what a queen. Thank you, Welcome to the show.
I'm so excited to talk to you and get to know you a little bit better, as I'm sure all our listeners are as well. Do you want to jump straight into it?
That sounds good and I'm so i stoked to be here because finding Cheese on the Money has absolutely changed the trajectory of my life.
Oh my god.
So it's just so surreal that, like I'm talking to you.
I love it. I'm so excited about it, all right, So let's jump in. My first question is I want to know what would you give your money habits if I asked you to give yourself a grade from A through to F.
I think probably B minus, maybe B plus, because I think I'm doing pretty well given my circumstances right now, but I think there's always room to improve and to grow.
Love love, all right, I want to know can you tell us a little bit more about your money story.
Yeah. So I got married when I was twenty three, and at that stage I already owned my own home. I had a little bit of savings, and my husband at the time had no savings, no career as a student living in college accommodation. So I paid for our wedding honeymoon first car I moved to Sydney to you know,
support him in his studies. I was working two jobs at times to support our lifestyle, and he had, you know, a few hours a week at McDonald's, so pretty much I was just pouring all my money and savings into my marriage. In retrospect, moving to Sydney was the worst idea. It is so incredibly expensive. I still had my mortgage back home as well, playing you know, outrageous Sydney rent. And that kind of continued for the next few years.
I realized, you know, growing up in the church, like we've never lived together before we got married, we never really talked about finances, and in the first few months of our marriage, I realized, oh my goodness, we spend money very, very differently. It wasn't something we'd really discussed before. So not only had I just poured all my money into the wedding and New Sydney life, but I was still sort of funding his lifestyle. Yeah. Wow, So that
had to change pretty quickly. And yeah, that just continued for the next few years. We moved back home eventually it was a bit more affordable and we wanted to start a family. He was still studying at this point and I was working full time. So over seven years,
things never really changed. He was always studying. I was always the main breadwinner in our relationship, and so then when I started my maternity leave, it was just really challenging because all of a sudden, you know, I wasn't making the same as before, and we had to rely more on his income. And then just after I had my second I think I realized just how toxic and
that the marriage should become. I think it was probably always there, but I was a bit you know, rogues colored glasses in love, and I just realized how drained and exhausted I was, and I realized, Okay, I need to make a very serious decision right now. And it took me a few months. I really thought about it from all angles. Am I making the right decision for me,
am I making the right decision for the girls. And the biggest thing that held me back for so long was finances because I was still even though it had mostly been the main breadwinner, I was still on maternity leave, so I did have my full pay and I was so so worried about how I'm like in a couple of the mortgage and pay for the girls. And I thought, you know what, like my mental health can't suffer any longer, Like I just have to do it and make it work. And so I did, and I am, oh.
I'm so glad, are you? I love that, and I love that you can say I'm thriving like that is the best thing to hear ever, because you can hear the energy and where that's coming from as well. It's not just oh yeah, I'm doing well, like you're just so excited to be in the position you're in, and it makes me so happy, thank you.
It was. There was probably a few months where it was really tricky and I just had to find my feet. But now, yeah, as I said, I'm thriving. I don't think I realized just how much of my money he was draining. And when I was so worried about, you know, doing it by myself, Like it's actually been easier because I just have to worry about me and the girls.
I'm not funding somebody else's lifestyle exactly. Oh my gosh, when you said before just because I'm really pervy that your husband at the time was studying throughout your entire marriage, was it always towards the same thing or was it only because I've heard this historically that people sometimes bounce around because they don't want to go into a full time job if they have a financially dependent person or someone that they can be financially dependent upon, so they
keep going, Nah, the lifestyle is good, maybe I'll just do another degree, or maybe I'll just you know, change degrees. And they don't have a lot of clarity. So I guess I'm asking not because I'm just pervy, but because that seems to be a strategy, if that makes sense.
It is so interesting you said that because seeing a therapists just to work through, you know, all this marriage and unpack a lot of the things that went down. And she said, you know, he is a textbook narcissist. And she said, you know, like, I'm really not surprised that he's kind of just coasted through his study journey. She said, like, that is a very typical narcissistic behavior
you're finding him. He has no real motivation to finish, to change what he's doing, And that absolutely rings true. The first three and a half years he was studying at Hillsong, and then when we got back home, he decided he wanted to do teaching.
Wait, he was studying at Hillsong as in the church, Hillsong.
Yes, at the church. They've got a college that's attached to the church. Yeah.
Cool.
And then he switched to teaching when we got home.
Then he studied teaching them. What did he do?
Are he's still studying teaching?
He's still studying, I think almost halfway along.
Like it's just yeah, it was you know, I'll just do one subject a semester. But oh, it's so funny, like when we split up. You know, he's never done a summer some during his life, and he said to me, I'm doing you know, a couple of summer subjects this semester because I really need to finish so that I can have a full time job.
You're like, wow, where's that motivation coming?
From I know, why couldn't you have had that motivation years ago?
It's because he's being forced to have the motivation because he's no longer got you to financially rely on exactly. Oh my gosh, all right, I want to know, obviously you've managed to fund somebody else's life for this entire period. What do you do for work? How much money do you earn?
So I'm a primary school teacher. I actually had to look this up because I wasn't sure what I I've just finished my maternityly two weeks ago, so I haven't quite jumped back into work yet because school's only just started. But in my position, it's ninety four thousand dollars gross.
Yeah, that's good, that's epic.
So I'm not going back to my full time work. I've decided I'm just going to do some relief work. And relief in Queensland. I think it's about four hundred and forty dollars a day.
That's actually pretty good. That's more than I anticipated it to be. But how consistent is relief work.
At the moment, I would say very There's definitely a teacher shortage in Queensland, so I was even getting calls on my maternity leave like.
Hey, can you come in, and you were like, no, I'm literally on maternity leave. Sorry, that's not too bad. And if you can do relief work for four hundred and forty dollars a day, that's not bad at all. Does that mean that you have to travel significantly though, to different locations.
No, I'm in a great position where we are. I've got so many schools within walking distance, and then you know, the school's five to ten minute drive. I'm in a really good placed location wise. I think the furtherest I would have to drive if I was desperate, would maybe be twenty minutes.
Live in the teaching dream, my friends teaching dream, I love that I was doing a little bit of relief between having my two girls, and I was walking distance to my school most days, because, as I said, there's just such a demand for relief teachers at the moment. Yeah, especially because I feel like people are actually putting their health first as well, so instead of just going to work not that well, they are more likely to take the day off, which I think is really really important.
And I'm glad they are resources like you to kind of fill in what happens with childcare. So you've obviously got a one and a two year old. What happens if you get a relief job and it's obviously last minute, because that's usually how they work, What do you do about childcare only? Because I know that can be quite an expensive ordeal.
Yeah, definitely. I tell schools that my availability is and I give them the two days a week that I know that I can organize childcare, so Fridays. My eldest has just started pre kindy, so Friday's obviously, and my mom has just retired.
Oh money win.
I know. It's so great she has the girls when I go to work. But I've limited it to two days a week and Mum and I have a pre arranged day so that it's not a huge surprise for her either.
Oh how good she doesn't have.
To change all the plan for her day. And oh she loves it. So when I told her I was pregnant, like I was four weeks pregnant, she was like, I have to retire. Oh my god, I'm down, like I'm four weeks Like she is so excited to be a grandma, like she she offered. It was never like hey mom, I need you to take the girls.
She's just like, give me your children. I love them.
Yeah. So even when I, you know, have been on maternity leave again, she's like, you know, I'm still having the girls one day a week.
Everyone deserves a mom like that.
That is literal invest I'm very very very lucky.
Talk to me about your money goals. So you said before that you now have savings investments and you're putting money away for your daughters to help them with their studies when they finish school. But I want to know what is your biggest money goal. What are you currently working towards.
Oh, my biggest money goal at the moment is probably just setting up for my girls when they're older. And I know this is so far away and it's just going to go so quickly.
But the sooner you start, the less you have to invest on a regular base exactly, and the more at compounds. Like it's just smart business, my friend.
Definitely, That's what I think as well. So when I finished high school, I think I was quite unimaginative when picking a Korea. We have a little university here, and
I knew I could study teaching. I didn't have to move, I wouldn't have to you know, find accommodation in a bigger city to study somewhere else, And so I just sort of fell into teaching, and looking back, I think like I wish I'd had the courage to move somewhere and you try something like I'd love to, you know, maybe marine conservation or just something a bit more creative than teaching. And so I thought, Okay, well, how do
I stop that happening for my girls? And I think a big thing is financially, if they have the money to live out their dreams, hopefully there's going to be nothing else holding them back if they want to move to Europe and study over there, if they want to go anywhere else in Australia or anywhere in the world. Just making sure that they can achieve that tream. They don't have to wait for years saving to start university and they can be a bit more creative, I guess
than myself. So that's really my drive behind that, and it's something you know, I'm so passionate about education.
I love that.
So I've just started putting I think it's at the moment I'm doing like fifteen dollars a week for them. At the moment, it's just going into a savings account because I haven't quite decided how I want to invest that, and I think something maybe like bonds or a blue chip share that's a little bit.
More, a little bit more conservative.
I'm hearing conservative, yeah, but like I don't want to rush into that, so I'm just taking my time to explore what options are out there that could work really well for the girls.
I am obsessed with that idea of setting your kids up, doing it young, organizing it when they're really little, so that it doesn't have to be significant, like I think a lot of people assume it has to be a lot of money. And the other day I made this example on TikTok actually, and it was like, if you put one hundred and fifty dollars a month away for X amount of years for your kids, this is what
it would create. And so many people jumped down my neck and we're like, well, not all of us have one hundred and fifty dollars, And I was like, it's just an example, Like it's just an example that I've pulled out of nowhere to show you the power of compounding interest. And the same thing happens for fifteen dollars a week. It obviously doesn't happen on exactly the same scale, but it happens, and compound interest is going to be
your best friend of the long term. But the one thing that I think people forget is that income scales. So right now, you've just gotten out of a relationship, you're a single mum finding your feet again. While you're thriving, I'm assuming that you are throwing everything you can at your financial life. But that doesn't mean that in a couple of years it won't be twenty dollars a week. It won't be twenty five dollars a week, And these things can change and grow, and the same can happen
in the opposite direction. Maybe you can afford one hundred and fifty dollars a week at the moment, but maybe in a couple of years that's just uncomprehensible and that's not an option. So I think it's about making the most with what you have, and it's sounds like you are absolutely doing that, and it makes me so happy. All right, let's hold the horses right there, and we're going to go to a really quick break and I'll see you on the other side. All right, Money dires.
Let's dive straight back in. So in your ladder you said I have investments, Talk to me about them. What investments do you have? Yes?
So I discovered Concept when it first came out.
Do you mean Concept Pocket? Yes, yes, that's in Concept. I was like, when Concept came out, I was like, baby, you weren't born.
Concept Pocket of aged really well.
You are stunning for your age. Oh thank you.
I just came across the sustainability shares and I was like, oh cool, that's something I'm really interested in, something I value and I absolutely think that that's our future. So I just put like two three hundred dollars in and I just sort of, you know, forgot about it. And then at the already started my maternal I can't know if I just had the baby or I was just
starting leave. My husband and I went and saw a financial advisor, and I think at this point in my life, I felt quite limited and restricted by what I could do with my money, Like I was on half pay with maternityly my husband was still a student. But we thought, we'll go see a financial advisor and see, you know, just if we're on the right track. And he kind of said to us. You know, you're doing as much as you can. Come see me when you're both working
full time. And I think I just sort of thought, okay, well a financial advisors pretty much confirmed what I felt already. I can't be doing anything more with my money?
Not true, I know.
Well, oh literally like a month later, I was sitting in my car thinking like, oh, I just I wish I knew how to invest. I just feel like I could be doing so much more with my money. Because if you have that mindset that like, oh, I can't say if I can't do anything, I think I was more more willing to just throw money at different things like, oh, you know, he is a fifteen dollar you know take out. Here's ten dollars on some chocolate I probably don't need
to eat. Here's a fifty dollars dress, you know, just spending money on things that don't really count. And yeah, I was just sitting in my car thinking, ah, I wish I like, I just wish I knew better how to handle my money. And literally, on the radio, I
heard an ad for She's on the Money. Oh huh, that's literally exactly what I'm looking for right now, And so I started listening to the podcast, and then I found your book and that whole you know you're always talking about, like, yes you can, you know, just having that mindset of you can always be saving, or there's that really great story of the two different couples you worked with and how one of them, you know, I felt like I really identified with them, like, oh, you know,
I could have financial freedom and a really great retirement. So yeah, just finding Cheese on the Money really shifted
my perspective towards my money. And so something we've done right from the start of our marriage have pocket money each week because when I realized my husband was spending far much more money than me, I said, right, we're each going to get pocket money each week, and we can spend our pocket money on anything without talking to the other person if we need to buy a bigger purchase, like that's the conversation that this pocket money you can
do anything with. And as I said, like with my pocket money, it was just you know, take out here or some clothes there. But then when I found Cheese on the Money, I started investing my pocket money every week.
Oh I love this so much.
Forty dollars a week. But I thought, you know, that's going to compound. And the sooner I start putting that money aside, the more it's going to be later. So that was June. I think I started putting my pocket money in and I've got about sixteen hundred dollars in shares at the moment.
Oh my gosh. That makes me so happy that you found us and that we get to hang out and that you get to be in a better financial position, but also that you know that just because one financial advisor said no just comes when you've got a double income, like, no, that doesn't mean you can't achieve success. Like it's crazy to me to think that some people just take that as gospel and they don't go and ask more questions.
They go, all right, well, I guess that we're screwed, like that's fine, and it's not fine, it's not okay.
No, And I think like if I hadn't started putting that money into shares, like that's sixteen hundred dollars that I would have just spent, you know, mindlessly on things that you know, just a're just so fleeting. Like as I said, most of it was probably food and not even like like like luxury food, like not just my essential groceries, like yeah, out more than I should have, and just having that mind shift as well from going you know, oh, I'm so limited, I can't you know,
do what I want. Who I can't be saving to now? Well, actually, you know what, look at what I've got, look at what I can do. It's just so empowering just just having that positive attitude, and yes, such a game changer.
I feel like attitude is one of those things that you can control as well, and it's one of those things that regardless of your circumstances, you can choose to be more positive, if you can choose to do more research, you can choose to put yourself in a better position.
And while I'm not saying that you know you can save or budget your way out of poverty, you can't, and that's not what we're saying here, But I do think that a positive mindset, that you know you are lucky and that you can do things and that you can create financial freedom is going to mean that that
is going to come up more. I talk about a lot on the podcast recently, what is it the Yellow Honda Jazz and how important it is to just be always looking for something and if you are on the lookout for something consistently, you'd be surprised about how often it turns up. And like, no one ever thinks about the yellow Honda Jazz as you know, a very common car. But the second I say, well, start looking for them,
my friend, they do pop up. And the same thing happens if you're looking for investment opportunities or opportunities to increase wealth, or opportunities to just educate yourself more so that in the future you can save more. I think that that is really really important, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing, and I'm obsessed.
Oh it's so true, that Honda Jazz thing. So true. And since listening to that podcast, like I've just really tried to think, Okay, well, how can I like focus on joy and look for the joy in my life because obviously, you know I said at the start, I'm thriving, but there's still definitely those really challenging days where it kind of sinks in, oh my goodness, I'm a single mom. What am I doing? Everything's too much, you know, I'm sinking,
I'm drowning. But then just giving myself that space to like, okay, well, you know what, it hasn't even been twelve months. You're focusing on the negatives, Like, let's shift the gear here, focus on the positive.
Things and one hundred percent. And it honestly sounds like, and this is probably a little bit snarky to say, but we're going to say it anyway, doesn't sound like you had a husband. It sounds like you had another son that you were looking after funded a lifelop. So like you've gone from being a single mum of three to a single mum of two. And I think that might be easier, so much easier. That's very much easier. You've mentioned before that you had a mortgage. I want
to know do you have any debts? If so, what are they?
Ye episode my mortgage. I've got two hundred and sixty seven thousand left on that, and then I just have my hex. I've got nineteen thousand in my hex.
Oh my gosh, what a queen. And tell me about the property you own. So you've got two hundred and sixty seven thousand dollars owing on it? What did you purchase it for?
We borrowed three hundred and fifteen thousand when we bought it, and so I actually bought it with my sister. We got a split loan and we just took care of our separate loans, and then at the start of the pandemic, my husband and I bought my sister out of her half, so she's not on the title anymore. And it's still just a little bit up in the air with what's happening with how we're splitting it with my husband and I. Now I fixed at two percent.
You're a genius. You are straight out genius.
Best decision I will. But it just makes a little bit tricky now because if we try and if I buy him out.
Now refinance, you end up on a really high interest rate.
And I lose that two percent. He has actually been really gracious with this, and he said, you know, look, let's not rush it, because you know, having to go from two percent interest of five at the moment is going to be you know, obviously quite financial. So he said, I'm happy to wait. So I think it's twenty twenty four that that fixed term comes to an end, So yeah, he said he's happy to wait until then, which is
really good. But I've taken over the full mortgage now, so he was really only on the title for two years, hoping that.
You know, all helps in my favor, and I'm sure it will all work out, especially if you're being amicable. But I have a sinking suspicion one of you contributed a whole lot more financially to that house than the other.
Hey, that would be.
Correct, That would be correct.
I got all our group certificates from the time we were together, and I contributed seventy percent of our income over the relationship. So I said, you know, I think with our savings that we've got, like, I think I should get seventy percent. And he's like, oh no, it's going to be fifty to fifty. Why, well, you haven't even contributed fifty percent. Well, because he needs to set up his new life and fund his future. And I said, well, I'm not going to be the one doing that, thank you very much.
Yeah, no, that is absolutely fair.
Done that for seven years. It's your turn.
You're like, I set up your entire life and mine and our girls' lives. I think that maybe you could be a little bit more independent, thank you, sir. Oh I feel like that's such a stressful position to be in, but it sounds like you're handling it relatively well and positively, which is good. Talk to me next about your best money habits. What do you think the best money habit you have is?
I think I'm quite organized with my finance. I didn't really grow up knowing how to budget. I was, you know, living quite comfortably when I was single as a teacher. I could pay for everything I needed to was sable to say for a home, so I didn't really need to budget. And then when I got married and moved to Sydney, all of a sudden, money was very, very tight, and I just had to figure out very quickly how
to make my money work. And I got all my bank statements and I went through and highlighted the different sections of like where my money was going to. So I had liked my direct debits, my mortgage, rent, food, non essentials, and it was all color coordinated. And then I worked out, okay, how much do I pay in all of these things over twelve months? And I think I just went back over the last two three years.
And so I then set up different accounts for those color coordinated areas, and I worked out, okay, so if my you know, I had my regio rate, all my utilities they were all in one section. I said, Okay, I pay in twelve months, So I need to be putting this much aside every week so that I'm covered
for the whole year. And so that's something I've been doing for the last maybe no five years, and like now being a single mom, Like, my goodness, that is paid off because I've got my entire year of KINDI saved an entire year of swimming lessons are paid off.
How good?
I know, Like I need to put this much money aside for all of my bills and utilities, and then like I don't even have to think about it when the time comes around because I know I've put that money aside. So yeah, I think I'm quite organized, Like I know exactly where all my money's going. I've got all my little direct debit transfer setup so that I don't have to think about think about any of it week to week, and you know, it just kind of takes care of itself.
I am obsessed with that, genuinely, Like I can't believe how organized you are, especially in the circumstances that you have gone through, Like that is why, And it makes me so happy to flip that though I want to know what is your worst money habit.
Oh, I think I can be quite an emotional spender. When I'm thinking of buying something, it's not like, oh do I need this, It's like I am so sad right now. I need to buy something to make myself feel better, Like even if I'm happy, like, oh, I should go out and celebrate by buying a new dress, getting some gelato.
Oh my gosh, that's me sad. I get a little treaty. Oh I need a little treat, Like, what is wrong with me? At what point do you not get a little treat Victoria.
I think it's from like our years in the primary school system, where it's like, oh, well done, here's a sticker, a good job, here's a sticker. You know, we've just been so conditioned our entire lives.
I went to primary school. Yeah, I loved stickers. I used to get those scratch and sniff ones. Those were elite.
Oh yes, you know, you're a good kid. You forgot a scratch and sim one hundred percent. But I think now that I'm aware of it, I'm maybe not quite as bad because I can sort of stop and think, oh, wait a second, I'm only buying this because of how I'm feeling right now.
Oh my gosh.
And sometimes that works, and sometimes it's like, well, I deserve it because I've had a really good day.
And that's why we need to have some flexibility in our budget to make sure we allow for that. Because I'm the same, like, I'm not frugal all the time. Sometimes I do deserve a little treat, and that's okay. But it comes from the little treat budget, doesn't it exactly exactly?
So you don't have to feel guilty or worryboying it because you know everything else is taken care of too. True, And I think it's later. I often get home and I'm like, oh, what was I thinking? Like I don't even really like it that much. It's just that thrill of buying something.
Well, you can always return it if it's not adding value, my friend, exactly, I'm really bad at returning things. Money, Diarist, you have told us a lot about your circumstance. You became a single mum six months ago. You now have investments and saving and you've put money away for your daughters. You literally have a savings plan for them. But then you've organized your money so much that you've pre paid, or you have the funds to prepay KINDI and swimming.
You literally own a property which is epic. And previously you said, oh, I'm a B plus. Do you still think that's accurate?
Look, maybe I could bump myself up a bit, maybe an A minus. But I think if I have, you know, this idea in my head that ah, I'm you know, an A plus, I've nailed it, it doesn't really encourage me to keep growing and challenge myself to, oh, how could I be doing better? Or yeah, maybe we'll sick with an A minus.
Totally understand where you're coming from. I really enjoy that, actually, because I think that even if you've got the structure there, I think sometimes by saying, oh, well, I'm still not an A plus, because I believe everybody has room to grow still, that's actually a really positive mindset to be in. And I think that, you know, as much as we all want to be an A plus, with money, it goes in ebbs and flows. Sometimes we smash it out in one week and the next week we give ourselves
a little too many little treats. But that is okay, and that is life. And I think that, yeah, this has been really powerful. I am so excited to know about how well you are doing and that you are flourishing. It makes my heart so happy. So thank you so much for joining us today for a money diary. I know that so many people are going to be so grateful having heard your story because it's inspiring, it's exciting.
It is one of those things that I think a lot of people in the situation you were in six months ago, go oh, I don't know if I can do it, and you are leaving proof that you absolutely can.
Oh well, thank you so much. And as I said, She's on the Money has been such a huge part of that journey and just giving me the confidence financially because it was never something I've been educated in before, and now I think I know just enough to get myself in trouble or get myself out of trouble rather. So thank you for for your movement.
No, thank you all right, Well, thank you so much, But unfortunately I do think that's all we have time for today. We'll see you guys on Wednesday. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be
relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of money SHERPA Pty Ltd ABN three two one six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine