Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another shot back money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to one of our community members to learn all about them and their story and their money and all of the fun bits and pieces in between.
Victoria, of course, I'm ready, Jess.
Oh, I knew you would be. Let me tell you all about today's diarists, She says, Hi, girls, I've heard you mentioned the concept of money trauma on recent episodes of the podcast, and we'd love to share my story of how I have healed my relationship with money after a few traumatic instances with my finances over the past few years. I'd also love to speak about how money impacts my anxiety disorder and my mental health concerns A queen and we get to have a chat with her.
How special and we've got her on the line. How are you going, money diarists.
And very well, thank you so much for having me. Oh my gosh, Money Direst told us before Jess that she's been listening to the podcast since season one, so she's an Ogy listener and that makes my heart so incredibly happy. I said to her before. I was like, so basically we're best friends. Yeah, is that what that means? I think she said yes, But even if she said no, I'm going to say yes in my brain. Yes, Money Direst. Are you ready to jump writing because I'm so excited. Yes, absolutely,
all right, let's do this. So to start off, as always, question number one, can you tell us a little bit about your money story?
So my money story has kind of been a bit of a rollercoaster over the past few years, Like I hated money for such a long time, Like I saw it as something that just brought so much pain, and I just hated it. Had such a bad relationship with it. I wanted nothing to.
Do with it.
It used to cause me so much distress. But now I guess I've worked through quite a few things, like the show and like my partner now like has helped me kind of, I guess, navigate the challenging parts of money and knowing that I'm able to actually manage my own money and that I'm worthy of money.
If that makes sense, I don't know. It's very confusing.
Oh you are worthy, You are so worthy of my love.
It was once I finish I used to be really good with like saving and everything. I used to work at like a tire restaurant at her whole twelve dollars an hour and made like two hundred and fifty dollars a fortnight, and I thought that was like the most money.
I've all been there. We have all been there, yes.
And so I used to be really good with savings. By the time I finished year twelve, I had like four thousand dollars in the bank. I didn't have any plans for it, but it was there. And then once I left Year twelve and got to UNI. It all just went downhill from there. I think it was a combination of like mental health issues impacting money and like spending habits. And once I realized I could access my savings and then spend it, that's where it all went downhill.
So I kept thinking, Oh, I'll just I'll put it back in next pay It's fine. That's a lie that never happened.
That's so common though, That is so common.
Yeah, So I set up with no money and fast forward a while, I moved out of home and because I really needed to for my relationship with my mom, it was not doing very well and I needed to get out of living with her, And so I moved out of home with no money at all in savings or like just zero dollars in my bank account. My dad said he would help me sort of like pay rent and all of that, and like for that first few months while I like worked part time and saved
and everything. But then I think I didn't realize the cost.
Of living out of home.
So I was only working part time because I had a few other health issues I was going through at the time, so I couldn't work full time and i'd taken a gap year from UNI. So I was earning I think, like eight hundred and fifty dollars a fortnight, and then my rent was going to be six hundred dollars a fortnight. But in my brain I hadn't thought, which is already way too much rent to be paying
on that salary. I'm always aware of that now, But in my brain I hadn't thought, Oh, I have to pay six hundred dollars and then I have two hundred and fifty left over. It was like, I'm earning eight hundred and fifty dollars, so I had eight hundred fifty dollars to spend. And then I'd yeah, so common, you know what I mean?
So no, the same thing happened when I moved out of home as well, Like you just don't realize that everything like existing costs money as an adult.
And there's like groceries and just like needing to buy little things like you know, like having to go to Kmart and buy like a spachelor at one am because.
You've realized that you don't just don't know what sort of thing. So paper towel got me. I was like, what do you mean I have to pay for paper Town.
So tru light bulb goes out, you got to buy a light bulb. It what seems like a scam.
Scam, Lena, I don't need lenan. Are you joking? Having to actually buy the vacuum to do the vacuum cleaning? What are you talking about, sir?
Yeah?
I could go on about this forever, like why do I have to pay for floor cleaner?
Yes?
So trude exactly, So, yes, slipping was just expensive. I didn't realize it. And my dad was amazing and he really did help me out where I needed it. But I think where it all went downhill for me is I got into lots of problems with after pay, I like over overused it, and I ended up being like, I cannot pay back these repayments.
It's not happening.
But I was really lucky that my family were like, look, we will help you out this time. But I'm a very independent person. I was raised to be very independent and to always be able to look after yourself, and knowing that I had to rely so heavily on people for money was really hard, like a hard concept for.
Me to grasp.
I think where it all really really really went downhill
for me was. I ended up realizing I couldn't afford the rent in the place I was living, so I moved in with a friend of my partners at the time, and I ended up getting really really badly screwed over in that whole thing, and the long story short of it, I ended up completely completely flat broke, with zero dollars and five hundred dollars on a credit card, like maxed out, no money, and I ended up with a dog that wasn't mine to begin with, but I ended up being
my responsibility. And then I went to my family again for help because I really needed at that time, not because I'd spent my after pay or whatever, because I had nowhere to live. I had to move out. I had nowhere to live, I had no money in a bank account, a lot of health problems that require a
lot of money. And this one particular family member that I went to, who we do rely on them with quite a bit to help us with money because they're relatively wealthy and their way of like expressing love is to pay for things for us. So I went and I was like, hoping, you know that they will be able.
To help me.
It would sort itself out.
Yeah, But he ended up saying I can't remember exactly what he said, but the gist of it was, you're going to be left completely alone. No one's ever going to want to help you. If you can't look after yourself financially, no one's going to assist you anymore, Like no one's ever going to want you, and like you're basically worthless if you're not able to save your money
and like do good things with your money. But at that time, I was like, well, it was like an attack on this puppy that my housemate had bought, and it was like the option was either to let this dog die, who was six weeks old, or to like rescue her.
No, what the hell you're scaring me anything involving animals.
I'm like, right, Well, the good thing is she's fine now, she's fantastic. They managed to fix her leg and she lists my dad now and she's thriving and wonderful, so it's all good. But it was kind of like, you know, I was trying to do a good thing and it ended up just completely screwed over from it. And from that moment on, like money became such a horrible anxiety trigger for me.
Yeah.
Oh, my God, anytime it would come up, I get so anxious and overwhelmed that I just like shut down and I don't want anything to do with it. And it's taken me a really long time and like a lot of like reading finance books, listening to this podcast, like talking things through with my partner, just sort of realize like money can be a positive thing.
Yeah, of course, it can be afford.
Good things, Like it's not designed to just cause you lots of pain all the time.
Yeah.
Absolutely, I'm loving this narrative because I feel like it's really relatable. Like, you know, we might not have been in your exact shoes, but the way you articulated, I'm like, oh, I can totally feel that, Like I can totally understand that.
I think one of the biggest problems that I had was because I come from a pretty well off family. Like we're not rich, but we're also not poor, Like we were never like I went.
To a private school.
We always like my parents both own their houses, Like they have very well paying jobs. Like we never went without anything. We didn't get everything we ever wanted, Like we weren't spoiled, but you know, we always had the good clothes the good shoes, and you know, we got to go to extracurriculus, so we had all of that.
So when I was always thinking about like money trauma or like you know, having issues with money, I thinking people who like are genuinely like struggling, I have no money, Like they're really really poor, and I'm not in a position with that. So I always felt that I wasn't justified to like feel anxious about money because I have a seemingly good life with my money. I don't know, does that make sense?
Yeah, absolutely, it makes sense. And I think that that's something that our whole community could probably resonate with. And that's that sometimes we look at other circumstances and we're like, oh my gosh, why do I feel so bad? Like I've got no reason to. And I don't think that that is healthy. I think that downplaying our own experiences because somebody else has it worse does not help us get through our own circumstances and doesn't help us get
through our own traumas. Because even if your trauma is quote on paper, smaller than somebody else's, it doesn't mean that it's not significant to you. It's kind of like, you know, if somebody floated through life and had nothing happened to them significantly, and then all of a sudden their parents divorced, that might be the biggest thing in their entire life and it might throw them for six.
Whereas someone who grew up in an abusive household for their entire lives and then you know, went through lots of different traumas and then their parents divorced might be like, oh, whatever, that's another thing that happened and that didn't impact me because they've had different circumstances. And I just think that we all should stop comparing, because comparing just leads to one anxiety, but two it doesn't help you. Looking at
somebody else's circumstances can be inspirational. It's why we do money daries to show you different you know, ways that people live in different experiences. But it's not to show you this is how you should be. It's to show you that we're all different and that's kind of cool. But you can't compare your journey to that of others, because if you do, you're going to find yourself in
a massive pickle. Anyway, we can go off on another rant another day, but yeah, I just think it's so destructive of us to be comparing ourselves to others or saying like, oh, I feel bad like I am privileged. Yeah, you're right, but that doesn't mean that you aren't upset or it doesn't mean that you aren't struggling. Yeah, sorry, sorry, Sorry, we can move on, jess as like, come on, stick to the questions.
No, not at all, but I'm excited to talk to a little bit more on the other side of the break for sure.
I agree.
Great.
Sorry, sorry, next structured question is what do you do for work right now and how much money do you earn?
Okay, so, right now, I work at an occupational therapy clinic working with kids with disabilities basically what we do. I'm working in reception and an administration assistant right now. I work part time, so twenty four hours a week. Currently, the full time salary sixty five thousand a year, but I obviously get pro raight that. I think it works out to be about forty five thousand.
A year at the moment.
That gets about thirteen hundred dollars a fortnight in my bank account, if that means anything. And yeah, I'm at UNI as well full time. This is my last semester, so I excited for that to be over so I can be working full time next year. But yeah, that's what I do at the moment.
How are you finding uni A, You're getting through it?
Yeah, I've been doing this degree for like six years, so I'm so over it. Yeah, I'm just ready for it to be done. I'm taking a second year course this semester in all of the people in the course are like, you know, fresh nineteen year olds who are taking their degrees so seriously, and I'm just like.
I've been here for six years. I just want to pass.
I feel like I've become a mature age student.
Please get to gree I've become one of those.
Oh my gosh, don't sit up the front and ask all the questions. Though after everyone wants to leave.
I know, I don't. Don't worry like right at the back of the lectures here like please don't look at me to learn and leave.
That was me towards the end of my unique career. I suppose we could call it and I would love to go back, can be another military age student. I've got this. I want to know what is currently your big money goal.
So I've got two at the moment. So my partner, I really want to buy a house. That's one of our big things, but I live in an area where the house prices are unbelievably expensive. So yeah, we've got to kind of see whether or not it's worth buying right now or whether we just rent for a while. I'm trying to convince my partner that it is actually okay to rent. We don't have to buy anything right now necessarily, but he's got in his head that we're buying.
So that's something I'm saving for, which I'm excited for. But we're also getting married next year in September, so that's also something we have to say for exciting.
Oh my gosh, when did you get engaged? Sorry, Jess, this is important content.
We got engaged on our third year anniversary actually in May.
This congratulations. I'll ask about that after the break. I have lots of questions. Wedding life is consuming me. Yeah, next question, do you currently have any investments? If so, what are they.
Not currently other than my super I don't really know how much is in that. When I checked it a few years ago, there was like ten thousand dollars in there. I think I actually have no idea. I should probably find that out. I would really like to invest. That is something I'm interested in doing. But I think that I have to take baby steps with my finances.
Because I've tried before.
I've over extended myself trying to save or whatever, and it's just backfired completely. So I'm better off taking small steps and just work on being able to say and be comfortable with, like having one hundred dollars of my pay that I don't see your touch before. I'm willing to like let go of that into an investment, but I do want.
To no, But that is very fair. That makes a lot of sense. I think like to want to spend a bit more time thinking. I think is actually quite powerful. Taking your time means that you can spend more time in the market, so you're not going to pull your money out and be stressed later.
Yes, exactly.
Next question, do you have any debts at the moment? If so, what are.
They don't anymore except for my hex step. So I've got that currently, which I think last time I checked, is spitting at about thirty eight thousand dollars, which is a bit overwhelming, But I know that we'll just get paid off next year like slowly, so that's okay. I used to have a five hundred dollars credit card, which I know doesn't sound like a lot, but that was like putting so much stress on me just having that five hundred dollars to pay back because I just didn't have money to do that.
With relative to what you're earning, for sure.
Oh absolutely, especially because I have quite a lot of health issues, which mean that I have to spend at least five hundred dollars a month to like maintain my health. So like, I just like I just didn't have money to put towards it. So I ended up having to be like I just can't save right now. I just have to work on like paying that off. And now it's paid off, and I'm so happy. I remember going into the bank with my card. I'm like canceling this noway for me?
Okay, are you sure.
I'm like, yes, take it away. I want it again.
And it was like this tiny little card that only like I know, some people have like hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, and like so I felt again I felt like, oh my god, like I only have five hundred dollars of debt, like this is nothing compared to some people. But once I paid it off, I just like the weight lifted off my shoulders.
It was, Oh good, that's what you want to hear. That is exactly what we want to hear.
Yeah, so it's very excited about that.
The next question I have is do you currently you shop back when you shop online?
I don't. I know I should, I can't.
I'm not here rude, I just in pervy. I want to know.
I just used to be a big online chopper, but I've had to like ban myself from doing too much of it, so I don't do that much anymore.
But I really should get it, like get the little chrome extension or something. I feel like.
So I hear people like, you know, they buy their groceries and stuff on.
There or yeah, get me.
That's actually good. I should totally do that.
Yeah, don't forget. If you do, decide to sign up a little plug here. Sorry not sorry, but you can use the code SotM and you'll get ten bucks for free into your account. So even if you sign up and literally just get the ten bucks, like for the kind of money.
Yeah for sure, absolutely, Yeah.
I love free money money when can recommend. Next question I've got for you is always my favorite because I feel like I get lots of tips and trigs. What is your best money habit?
So I think now, which is surprising to me is budgeting.
So I'm a little budget queen. I love with good budget.
Same girlfriend. Same Yes, I've literally made it my career.
Yeah clip, well, yes, obviously you're very good at it.
I didn't say I was good. I just said I was excited.
So I use up bank, which has been like game changing, and like have the little sub account, so I have like one four. I have my emergency fund in there, which is five hundred dollars to match the credit card that I have because five hundreds like a good amount. And then I have like a beauty account. I love
being pampered. It's my thing. It's like you talk about like making sure you're spending a line to your values and like putting money aside for things that you value, and I'm like, I value getting my brows done and my hair done, so.
That's in my budget.
So yeah, so.
Always budgeting for that date night as well. I have one, so my partner I value date night.
We do that every week.
So put money aside for that, and then I've currently got one that's fleg trips away, so if we ever, like we've got a few trips down the coast coming up, so like just checking some money in there, and I just find that, like having that struck show makes it the money that I've got sitting in like the actual like spending part of my out bank, Like that's the money I've got to spend. And if I'm using the money from like the date night fund for date night, like I don't feel guilty because I'm.
Like that money cool inside.
So your budgeting is now like one of my really good money.
Habits character development.
One thing that my partner actually picked up on and I didn't realize this. He can tell what I'm going through a really really really anxious period is because I'll start budgeting, I pull out my budget again.
And I'll just sit there and even if it's just.
Rewriting what I've already written, I'll rewrite it all and make sure I've got enough money to cover everything. Because it's like such an anxiety inducing concept for me.
It gives you peace of mind. I totally get it because I'm exactly the same. The second I feel things are losing control. I'm like, all right, grasp it everything that can help me create control. All right. My budget is number one. All right, this is going to make me feel powerful and like I'm the boss. This is exactly what I mean. I get it, my friend, I get it.
Yes, so exactly.
So just really focusing on like making sure that like, because I've been without money for so long that like having money, I'm like wanting to make sure it's always there and I've always got more than enough for things.
Yeah, no, it's smart, all right. The opposite of that, what is your worst money habit? So I had a few, but I think my worst money habit is I feel obliged to pay for things for people all the time when no one has expecting me to or has asked me too. So like we'll go out for a brunch, for example, and I was like, oh, I'll buy your brunch, Like that's fine, let me pay for it, which is like like I suppose a nice thing to do if I had the money to do it, then I end up like really broke.
For the rest of the week.
Yeah, And so like that's probably one of the things that I need to need to work on and like, also, I love gifts like I love giving gifts. That's one of my main love languages is buying things for people.
This has been a theme of today's recording. Obviously we do a little bit of pre recording and a bunch of few money dirists up. I think three of the four money dives we've spoken to and Gabby and I in the car on the way here to record this morning, we're all talking about how our love language was gift giving, all of us. It's the theme of today. I love it.
I don't know.
I feel good being able to buy something for someone that they've always wanted. And yeah, so I don't like, I don't set a budget for that, Like I'll just buy, yeah whatever, even if it's like a little bit, a little bit out of my price range. But it means that I have to sacrifice my oat lattes that week.
Oh girlfriend, I get it, I get it totally. All right, let's move on to the very last question before we go to workbreak. I want to know what Greg would you give yourself if we forced you to give yourself a money grade.
So I think, like if you had to ask me this question, like two years ago, I would have been like an F like a double no complete fail. But now I've worked really hard, so I would put myself probably at like maybe like a C plus, where like I still have a lot of work to do and like growth, but my budgeting is there and I have a lot more like discipline to save and stuff.
She's got good structure. We love it. So what would it take to get to an A plus.
I think to.
Start like thinking more further ahead in the future with my money, so looking at investing and like saving maybe a little bit more diligently for a house. But I can't really do that until I have a little bit more income.
So you've got a lot to go. You're still at UNI. It's all about the journey.
I do know that.
And like my partner, he works full time, like and he earns very good money, so like having that is really helpful so he can focus a little bit on the saving. But I'm like, I want to contribute.
To ye fair. I feel like that's a common thing to feel as well. All right, let's go to a really quick break and then I want to break down all of the information that you sent through in your submission email. Guys, don't go anywhere, all right, money Diarist. We were speaking before about money trauma and how it's a relatively new concept to you, and I feel like this is a conversation that has been going on in my DMS for you know, the last few weeks, because
it's not really something that people have confronted before. I know that we're not the first to come up with this term. Absolutely not. We're just talking about it. However, it's one of those things where I think people go, oh, oh, that is what I've experienced. How did you feel when you kind of found a term to put to your experiences?
It made a lot of sense. It definitely helped, I guess, I don't know, justify how I was feeling in a way. I actually first realized I think I had money trauma. Like in your book, you have like in the first part of the book, you have like questions or something. Yeah, but like he is supposed to answer the questions. So I was like, I'll do that. She's asked me too, I'll do it. But I just started crying.
So much physical pain. No it's not like from you, but like.
It was so unbelievably distressing for me to even start thinking about my relationship with money, oh my, and I think that's when I realized something was like really wrong. I'm like, wow, okay, this makes a lot of sense. Like my partner and I we have like a lot of the same values, so it works, but like we both have very different ideas on like spending money and everything. He doesn't do budgeting, but he's always got lots of money.
He's always been the sort of person that has like three thousand dollars sitting in his bank account just there as like a buffer. So when I'd be like, oh my gosh, I have like zero dollars in my bank account right now, can you please put petrol in my car? And I'd feel really guilty about doing that, And then he was always happy to do it, but he also wanted to to get to a point where I could
do it for myself, so I can understand. But he'd be like, you know, oh, you know, Jess, we're running like I'm running quite low on money, and I'm like, yeah, I was like, you, you don't know what that feels like.
So even though like he's completely justified and feeling the way he feels, but I get super defensive whenever the topic of money comes up, because I think I've just always felt very attacked, especially with that one particular instance with my family member, you know, telling me that, you know, if I didn't have money, I'm worthless, And that was like one of those things where with like a lesson for me to learn, but I still just like, have this whole If I can't support us, then I'm you know,
I'm terrible, Like why would you want to be with me? I have all these health problems, Like I spend so much money on like doctor's appointments and medication and all of that every month, And I'm like, you could just be with someone who doesn't have those problems and that doesn't spend that money, and like, obviously I would whare
That's a toxic mentality for me to have. And so I work through that a lot now, but for long time, that was kind of how I felt about a lot of things, and it was all out of my control, like there was nothing I could do about it.
It totally makes sense, and I guess that's why I wanted to ask, because often you feel out of control, especially with circumstances that you can't manage. Talk to us about the health problems you've mentioned. Obviously you don't have to disclose what they are, but just how they impact your finances and how you're managing that long term.
Yeah, so I've got quite a number. They kind of just like accumulated over the years. So my main one, I have generalized anxiety disorders. That's the probably the biggest one. I think that impacts all of the other health problems as well. So basically what that means is like my day to day life is I'm just in a constant state of anxiety, regardless of whether there's a reason for me to be anxious. It's just like constantly in fight or flight all the time and just always stressed, worrying
about things that don't need to be worried about. And so I've been in therapy for that since I was thirteen. I'm actually celebrating my ten year university with my psychologist next month.
Happy.
That's fun, most consistent relationship. I like that at least they're a good fit.
Yes, exactly.
No, she's fantastic and I am really lucky that I do get a very good deal with her. But that's still you know, like fifty dollars I have to come up with every month. So I also have endometriosis, which
I found out a couple of years ago. I was diagnosed with that not a major issue in terms of my daily functioning, Like I'm really lucky that I'm not in a lot of pain, but I have to take a specific medication for it that's not covered by the PBS because apparently the PBS doesn't acknowledge women's health problems, So I.
Have to pay for it out of pocket.
Right, which is like you know, an extra I think it's about eighty dollars a month for that medication I have to take it. I also suffer from daily chronic migraines, so I take two different types of migraine medication every day. That's not as expensive, probably about twenty dollars a month for that.
It all adds up.
It does.
And I have to go to the physio every month as well, because my anxiety manifests itself in a physical manner in my shoulders and my neck, so it gets really tense and that causes the migraines as well, So I need to go to the physio to have like that basically massaged out and dealt with. And that's seventy dollars a month as well, and then I also have
narcolepsy type two. The way that I describe it is, it's like plugging your phone into charge every night, but the charging cords really terrible and doesn't do its job very well. So your phone on the end of the charges till like twenty percent and it can work, but not very well.
So a really.
Dodgy cord that's on Apple, that's honestly on Apple. I feel like every cord I've ever had has broken. So that's a really good analogy.
Great analogy, great analogy to a very good way of explaining it.
I've just immediately related to it and be like, yeah, all right, I get that. Yeah yeah.
So that just basically means I'm just tired all the time. And it's like the vicious cycle of those things together. Like when I'm really anxious, my endo flares up, I'm more like in lot more pain, and then if I make SIUs, my shoulders flare up, and then that causes a migraine, and then you know, it causes bad sleep, and I get night terrors as well, and then that impacts.
And arcilepsy as well.
So you I just sort of end up like I need to take some more time off work than most people because sometimes I just need to sleep for four days straight or to be able to function as a human being.
Again understandably, so though, like all of that adds up and makes sense, and it's kind of like a domino effect, right like boin one's down, the others far more likely to come down, because once you get hit from one way, you're just going to get hit from the other. To be honest, that just sounds like a really terrible circumstance. I'm sorry that that's the case.
Oh, it's it's fine, Like I've learned how to deal with it. Like I'm just I'm kind of used to it. Mum told me apparently used to get sick a lot when I was a kid as well, so she's not surprised, and I'm like, oh, so it's one of those things where like I'm kind I kind of like I'm used to it now. It's really hard a lot of my conditions as well, because they're all like invisible conditions. It's
really hard to explain to people, especially my family. So my family are very much of the mindset of, you know, just need to get.
Over it like you just just don't be sick kind of thing.
So like if I had a broken leg, like they would understand that, but because I'm like, oh, I've got you know, these invisible like I get migraines, Like people who don't suffer from migraines just think they're like bad headaches. No, you don't understand, Like I get armed paralysis, like I stopped seeing. I can't see, like I'm in so much pain. Like it's one of those things where like you look fine, you look healthy, Like why do you need to go to the doctor so much? Like why do you need
to go to the physio? Like you don't need these medications, like you could just you know, go outside and eat your vege and fruit and stuff. I was once told that I need to just put my pillow up higher, and that.
Would, Oh my gosh, do you know how much money you could save just by putting your pillow my life?
Did you know that?
Like you won't have to spend any money on any medication. Actually, don't take that. Don't take that from me, like I am not a medical doctor.
Have you tried to stop being anxious? Is my personal fear?
And tried just like just don't be stressed, Just don't stress so much?
How do you manage in your day to day life? So the combination of you know, some of those things sounds quite chronic, and as you touched on earlier, there's a really strong correlation between mental health and physical health, and you know how you then can approach your day to day life as a result of that. How do
you manage within your career? The I guess disclosing within the realm of what you're comfortable with, while still asking for the support that you need, because I'm assuming that with this many different health problems, you're going to need certain levels of flexibility or allowances that someone who's fully healthy doesn't need or doesn't have access. True, how has that worked for you? In terms of the workplace.
It's taken a really long time for me to actually find a workplace that is really understanding of it. I've had some horrible bosses I've worked for. My first part time job that I got, like outside of UNI, was at this medical center and the boss she was a nightmare.
She was awful.
She had five bullying complaints put in against her and they still wouldn't fire her.
But I digress.
I ended up having a migraine attack and I was like, I need to see one of the doctors, like I'm not well, and she was like, no, you're fine. You can't do that, like you're on shift right now, like you just have to wait. I'm like, I'm sorry, well, like I need to go home. I need someone to help me, and she goes, nope, sorry, it's not within the time. And then I ended up passing out because
that's what happened when my migraines are untreated. And then she turned around and blamed me and told me it was because I didn't tell her it was severe enough.
You didn't say me seriously, yeah, And I was.
Like, excuse me, what.
That's happened a few times where I've just been like I'm unwell, I need to go and they're like no, you look fine. I'm like I'm not please, and just like not being listened to. So it's taken a long time. But my current workplace they are absolutely fantastic. I think because we work with people with special needs, they're very understanding of what it's like to have to have, you know, special considerations put in place, and it doesn't make you
like that at your job. It just means that, like sometimes you won't be able to come into work that day, and you know it's not your fault. Like I was always made to feel like if I couldn't come into work, the whole place was going to fall apart, And yeah, like you know, I'm putting everyone else under so much stress by not showing up to work kind of thing.
And that's not the case at all. Absolutely, No, I don't want to work for someone who isn't flexible on those terms.
No, exactly. So I've definitely like finding a good workplace that's supportive of it is a big thing. But also my main thing is I need structure. I need routine. That is like my main thing with dealing with my anxiety is I have to get up at the same time every day, even if it seems like really neurotic.
I have to make sure I get up, I have my shower, I get dressed, I have my breakfast, and I do everything in a specific order before I leave, because otherwise I just need to start it well otherwise they get really stressed and anxious for the rest of the day. And having that routine and knowing that I'm getting what I need to get done done is one of the things that just I guess reduces that anxiety. When the anxiety is reduced, my other health issues tend
to be a lot better. Like even with my sleep, if you let me, I would sleep for twenty hours straight, Like I would have no issues doing that, But the doctors told me, like, I'm going to be just as tired whether I wake up after eight hours of sleep or whether I wake up after twenty hours of sleep. You might as well just get up after eight hours of sleep and get more done in your day. Then,
you know, just sleep for the whole twenty hours. So I think you're getting up at the same time and having a good sleep routine really really helps with me.
That would have been really hard to hear, like just get up. Are you saying that my resting is not Yeah, Oh my gosh, I'm sorry that that's the case.
It's honestly fine. It's just one of those things that like you just learned to deal with it and yeah, go about your life.
But that's not that healthy, my love.
Yeah, but I'm doing so much better than I was, Like I'm in a place now where I'm managing my schedule and I'm keeping myself accountable and like now my money is better, Like I've got my emergency fund, Like I'm working towards my two thousand dollars saving score, Like I know that if something happens, like I have something there and that helps.
Yeah, that makes me really happy.
Yeah, I'm right back, and you have a lot of clarity, and I think that that is just amazing.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh my god, thank you.
Yes, I'm looking at the time. I think we've run out of time today. Sorry, moneys, but thank you so much for joining us. Your story has been so special and I feel like a lot of people are going to resonate with that and love listening to it, so I really appreciate it.
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
See one Wednesday, guys.
Hi,