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She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another shot back Money Diary. Monday one of my favorite days of the week because we get to chat to a gorgeous community member to learn about them, their story, their money, and all of the deats in between.
Is Monday really your favorite deday of weege Yes?
It's I mean, look, Monday's. It was just a nice thing to say for the worst, but it's one of my favorite Cheese on the Money episodes. Okay, that's fair. Now, before we get into today's episode, I did just want to put a little trigger warning on there. We're going to be talking about some difficult things today, including domestic violence. So if you're in a place where hearing about that makes you a little bit uncomfy, give this episode a skip.
There's a whole backlog of other episodes that you can listen to, and we'll see you on Wednesday instead. All right, Jess, Well, let's hear about this week's diarist already, our direct says, I'm a single mum who lives on welfare. Three years ago, I was sitting across the table from a mortgage broker with thirty K, ready to buy an investment property. But little did I know that there was Bob President at this meeting, who I was clueless about. Within nine months,
I was a parent and thirty K poorer. I had lost the lot, jobless, and stuck inside. Thanks to COVID, I turned to welfare to support myself and my daughter. After four long years in a domestic violence relationship. In twenty twenty two, I was able to walk away with eighteen K, pay off my debts, and be financial free for a while while I battled for custody of my daughter. I am grateful that I can rely on welfare for the next few years to keep us.
Afloat Oh my gosh, what a story money Jost. Welcome to the show. Let's get straight into it. I would love to know. Tell us a little bit about your money story.
Okay, So my money story is a bit like all over the place. So growing up, like I come from money, if that makes sense. Yeah, Like my family they're a bit by that breach. So my mom is the first person in her family to break generational poverty. Very cool again, and so was my dad but through marriage.
Yeah.
Yeah. So then my sister and I we were raised to have everything we wanted.
Basically, we could have five Barbie dolls and everything we wanted to eat and go over where we want. We're on fancy holidays quite often actually. But then when I had my daughter, I was on the other end of the spectrum. So we live at my parents' house and I'm like on the poorer side and then outside my bedroom doors.
On the richer side. Yeah, there's a bit all over the place, I guess.
Kind of like you got a foot in each world.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's it's challenging because I live on a beautiful property with four egcres of land, but I can't.
Buy her lots of things.
Yeah, but she gets sorts of.
Things like my mom gives her lots.
Of things that must be really challenging for you, kind of like as just said, having a foot in each world in a way. But the next question is what do you do for work and how much money do you au? And tell us all about it.
Okay, so this is where it gets a little.
Bit like tricky.
That's all right.
So, like I said, I'm on welfare, like I've won on an link payments.
So I started my journey out on a partnered income that ended I would say, maybe August September last year, that income, and and then I end up with a tax bill that was for his income, not mine. So then I had to remediate the situation by going on a single income because yeah, so I'm on a parenting
pension single because I am a single parent. Now additional to that income, I work for a startup company and I worked directly for the CEO casually, So I have to split that with my pension because if I earn too much then I don't get the full pension.
Yeah, that makes it.
I also have eleven other streams of income.
Eleven.
I didn't know that many.
I didn't even know, who are you, hustle lady?
I know.
So I just started a new job last week in finance, which is kind of interesting.
Yes, queen, Yes, more women in finance.
We love these Well we're all women.
How exciting.
There's only one male and he's like the tech dude.
Yeah, all right, that's fair. He can come. He can come because on this is nice.
Yeah. So that's about twenty five thousand dollars a year. And then I do like a like a side gig where like I.
Went for a Strata company where I take their bins out once a week. It's very odd that pays about two thousand dollars a year.
Hey, that's kind of cool. I didn't even know that, Like that makes sense that that's a job because Strata has someone doing that. Is that super easy to do? Or how did you find that? Because I feel like there might be some people listening who are like, oh, two grand a year, i'd do that.
I'll take your bins out for that.
I went on Antaskar and I found this lady and she's like, can you come every week? Like it is an hour from my house, but it's ten minutes from one of my.
Officers at work.
Yeah, so I.
Was like, yeah, I'll come and so just take sixteen bins out every week, one k down the driveway each time, two in hand, Like incredible few dollars a week.
That's it's my petrol.
Like I didn't work out as well because you're walking up in the next every time.
Yeah, my daughter loves to come and she'll like to push the bins up there.
Oh my gosh. Free labor as well.
We love to see it, get it, get working early.
I love that.
Yeah.
So I also get child support, So that's four dollars nine nine cents a.
Day is really child Yes?
Perhaps at seventeen hundred one seven hundred a year, that is craz No, I'd to put our daycare, so it didn't cover the cost of that.
Can I ask for a little bit of context? Do you have your daughter full time?
I do?
Yeah, it blows my mind. And sorry, I know we're getting very off topic and we need to get that's a question. But it is wild to me that as a full time care who is taking on I would assume all of the financial responsibility. Spoiler lit, babies aren't cheap. They're very expensive. That the most that you can receive is five bucks a day. I can't imagine that that's going very far Like that is that's insane to me,
truly blowing my mind right now. Like I knew that that was a thing, and it's one thing to understand it and see it.
And you know, you see posts in our community of people who are going through so many similar things to you money dis I keep wanting to use people's names, like I'm that person, But it just blows my mind that there's no way of managing that, like there's no better way of just calculating it, Like it's just you know, and obviously there's some kind of equation working in the background, because like, what was it, four dollars twenty five? Like that to me is inta oh okay, sorry for dolls ninety.
Ninety big spend to you.
But it just it makes no sense to me that that's the calculation when we could so easily create a really quick budget going all right, well, nappy's on average cost this, let's you know, even just drop it down to you know, the home brand nappies. All right, what does formula? What's the cheapest tin of formula? All right?
On average, babies have like maybe two tins a week from what I understand, like they don't even do that budget and then split it by half and go all right, well you can do half in your partner or ex partner can do half. And it's just it makes no sense to me, and it breaks because there are so many women in this situation and.
You're clearly a hustler.
But then on top of that, you're like, well, I had to pull my kid out of daycare because it just didn't make financial sense, and like what was daycare costing you a day?
One?
Eight and you got four ninety nine from your partner to help with that?
Yeah?
Yeah, No, basically no, sir, it's a job.
It doesn't matter what I earn because it's based on what he earns and the percentage of care.
So I have one hundred percent care to her and you only started paying this six months after we separated.
Yeah, so he's only really paid it from like January.
Yeah, so basically nothing and no real support in that way.
Yeah, so I pulled her out. She's getting really sick and I just couldn't. It was like four hundred dollars a month. Yeah, she went a total of I think like nine days, like her bookings and she went three days of that because she's so sick.
The cool little honey.
Yeah, so I'm like, we're just going to stop doing this because it doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make financial sense. Tell me a little bit more about these other streams of income that you have.
Okay, So I resell mostly baby things. Great, because I live in a rural area, so I go to town quite often. I'm on the border of Act yep. So going to Act, there's always stuff on the side of the road, and it's like a hobby ace, grab a friend, grab my sister, and go on my big car.
When I had a big car and just.
Like put stuff in my car, stick in my garage and sell it.
And then I would use that money to pay for her nappies.
Yeah, I couldn't afford it, Especially before I moved here, I couldn't afford it.
I know, saving stuff from landfill as well, which is great.
I feel like you're so resourceful, like single moms are another bridge. Like you guys are next level. I love it. Tell us about your other streams. I'm very here for this.
They're basically just like Survey's market research, my bin's job. Any air tasker jobs that come up. So I'm qualified and business qualified in childcare admin do all those of things. I'm not very creative, so I just do like the physical labor, like shovels on dirt and paid seven mill of bucks.
Yeah, and then I do card and bank churning as well.
What's that?
So it's basically like you open a bank account, you do all the things you need to do, pops some money in there, use it a few times, you gain the benefits of opening the card, and then you close it off.
Oh yes, I see, so like credit cards that come with like sign up bonuses and things like that. Got it interesting?
Do you know how much that impacts your credit score? Though, I'm just being financial advisor?
Oh really, My credit score is like in the seven to eight hundred, and I don't have any other loans.
I've never bought a.
House, so it's just my phone bill from like three years ago and those all.
Right.
Next money question I want to ask is what is your big money goal?
So my initial goal was to buy a house, but that so far from happening at this moment.
And that's okay.
My daughter and I have quite content who we are. We're safe now and we're trying to just get on with the day to day instead of what could happen further down the track. So I have a car, that's my first goal. My next goal as I'm getting in visa line. So that's about eight thousand epic.
And then I want to ask you have a lot of income streams, but do you have any investments.
I have Super, which has literally nothing in it because I had to withdraw for like during COVID. I manually put fifty dollars a fortnight in there to can top it up, and I didn't get any top ups during my matt leave or anything like that, so there's just nothing for like four years.
Oh my gosh, how do you feel about that?
It's a bit sad, especially when I'm in a household with family members who have like over you know, I'd say one twenty my mum's got almost a million in Super, So when she tells me that, I'm just like, I like five thousand dollars.
Yeah, it's so hard.
Yeah, So it's like everything I've worked for in the past, I'd say eight years is gone.
Yeah, but it's hard because you have to factor into that and we'll dive into this again a little bit later. But you've obviously gone through a little bit of a trauma, and I don't think it's a bad thing that you've prioritized your personal safety over that's some of those other things, because if you don't have a future, there's no point having money there for it, right.
Yeah, especially when financial abuse is such a I had such a big presence. Yeah, and I didn't really know what it was until my lawyer was pointed out to me.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's the painful part because you probably didn't realize.
Right, Yeah, exactly exactly.
So we'll get into that straight after the break. But next question is do you have any debts?
I do I owe eight thousand dollars to a family member. They helped me get a car so that it wasn't up for grabs during my custody for my child.
Yeah, I don't have still, yep. And I'm about.
To buy laptop, so it's like a future did Yeah, I need one new one for work because my little MacBook does not cope with all of the systems I'm using.
For Yeah, that is fair. There are a lot of them as well. Next question, when and if you are shopping online? Are you using shop back?
I do you shop back? Like religiously?
Feel like I do? Actually religious? Tell us?
How so I buy my petrol and shot back.
Your petrol shop back? This is you? Tell us?
So I have heard anyone else do this?
Someats I don't believe.
I thought I was across like every possible. I thought you were the wizard. But I've never heard of petrol. Please tell me more.
No, So I have a Toyota. I bought a Toyota at the beginning of the year.
So Toyota is a partner a pole and they have their own discount system.
But so do shot back? Shot back has ampole?
So and I live in an area where it takes twenty minutes to get from one card to the other. Like I, you know, it's very very small plays so there's ampoles like everywhere.
So how do you do it?
Tell us? Like?
Do I just show my shot back at card at am pole?
Like?
I don't know. I can't work out in my brain how I would facilitate this.
So I pre purchase my petrol twenty five dollars at a time, yep, every fortnight weekly. If I feel like chucking an extra twenty five in but I do it in advance, so I always have money for fuel. Yeah, and I always have twenty five dollars for the next week. So then I got I fill my car and I either pay the difference or I use to cards and then I get shot back on the petrol cards.
So I just go and scanm my petrol card from the shot back app.
You are so smart. I am one hundred million.
Thank you so much for around the corner from a house.
Literally wild catch you with the bowser all right.
Next question, I want to know what is your best money habit.
I think education, Like that sounds very privileged, but I think I know where everything kind of is in my area.
Again, I think that just comes with living in a small area.
But I know that, like I can get nappies from wor Worse instead of Oh well, I can get them from a big w instead of Worse if I wanted to, and they're the same price, so I don't have to do that extra trip. Or like I know, so my fish tank broke, for example, I just contacted came out and I was like, hey, my fish tank broke, and they're like, okay, we'll raise it for free.
Instead of just going out and buying wine buy Why.
Yeah, you know how to be resourceful. Yeah, yeah, I think that's so smart, Like that is such a good money win skill because so many of us would just like be like, oh fish tank broke, like.
Gotta buy, gotta buy a new one.
Like I'm very guilty of that sometimes when I should take things back because I'm like, I just I hate asking for a refund. I hate doing that. You probably surprising coming from me, even I'm the most audacious, funny person you've probably ever met. But I just don't like that interaction. But I also know that that's what I should be doing. So when people like I'm good at that, I'm like, I wish I had more of your confidence. I hate going up to the front desk.
Yeah, it's like red rolls are cheaper at Coals to buy them individually than they are demandment Baker's Delight by like twenty cents.
So really coals.
Yeah, so it's just like knowing.
Where to go and what to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, oh my gosh, I.
Love that, especially have a crying baby.
Oh yeah, I was gonna say.
That's actually such an important point as well, because like mums sometimes just rely on convenience, and you're like, I can even do this, while she's screaming this is great. I'm a genius flipping this on its head. What is your worst money habit?
Probably food, I think everyone likes too, at least like a little splurge on food. I guess because I'm vegan. Food's really expensive, yes, and I choose to eat gluten free options because I have an autoimune condition so that it makes it even more expensive.
But I'm just like, oh my god, a new vegan thing.
I have that.
Oh Someone's like, do you want to go out, and I'm just like, yeah, I have that that.
Like, yeah, it's so hard when it comes out.
And then I look at my bank account and I'm like, I ate all that awayeeees.
Yeah, not great.
But I feel like a lot of us can probably relate to that, because I definitely did. The second I see a new plant based option, I'm like, I'm gonna get that. That is great, And gluten free bread is ridiculously expensive for no good reason. Kind of rude money diarist. Last question of the set of questions before we do a bit more of a deep dive, is what grade would you give your money habits. If we forced you to give yourself a grade, probably like a bee.
I was like, I'm a really good saver, Like I save more than eighty percent away income every single fortnight.
Yeah, I do.
And I am very frugal. So I only buy things when I absolutely want them or I have been thinking about them for a long time, and I always maybe it's stingy, but when it comes to my daughter, like she has my family who give her everything she wants, so when she wants something, it's like either on the chipper side, or I'll pull out something from a storage container and be like.
Here, yeah, yeah, epic everything.
I like that.
Yeah, So I tend not to buy things for her.
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I've heard of.
Is it toy recycling where you're like, oh sorry, toy cycling where you like hide their toys from them and then they think that they're new again. It's like a big people do that to me with clothes. I feel like I should actually get into the habit of.
Cycle them through. I think it's a montessory thing where you have a set amount out because kids only focus on a certain number of things at a time, and then they forget what's put away and then it's like it's brand new again. You're right, like, why would you buy something when you can just pull it out two months later They're like, oh my god, this is the best toy ever. You're literally going to be the best. Mum.
I don't want to talk about it. Let's go to a break and then we're going to deep dive on our money direst because I just feel like I'm going to look like a terrible future mum. I continue here. All right, all right, we are back money Diarist. You have a really interesting money story that I think a lot of our community can really connect with. You're a single mum, You've been through a lot to get to this stage. You have a gorgeous two, your old daughter.
Now you have eleven streams of income, which is beyond impressive. Obviously they're all small and all require work and energy and effort, and I'm genuinely so impressed. But I want to know a bit more about your situation. In your money diary, you wrote in and said, look, I've gotten out of a domestically violent relationship. How did you decide that now was the time? I just can't I'm going to go live with my parents, and you know this is my re reality.
I guess the option to leave my relationship was forced upon me.
So I was the one.
Who ended my relationship because I had put up with over a year of trying to the point where it was like I was just flogging that dead horse. I was just trying for no absolutely no reason, just to keep my daughter safe and happy and give her that fairy tale family because I didn't want her to grow up in a broken home, and that clouded my judgment on how I felt about the situation for so long. So we just kind of came to a flat end. Like it's quite hard to explain because it all just went,
but like it just everything died off. The relationship died off, the communication died off, the quality of time died off, the quality of care for my daughter died off. There was a lot of throwing things, a lot of shouting, a lot of things that just were not sitting well with me, to the point where I was like, you need to leave. And then he took his clothes, his PS four and never came back.
Wow.
Because we lived in a rental, I couldn't afford that on my own. Course, So then I had to leave and I had to take everything we owned with me.
Yeah, that's a lot to carry, that's a lot to go through.
It was quite hard.
It took over six months to sell everything I owned in a storage unit, plus paying for storage. And I didn't want to go back to my family. I didn't have anywhere else to go either, and that person kept showing up at my house and demanding to see my child, and.
That was just too much. So I got a lawyer involved.
Which is very fair and a very intelligent step. How did that go for you?
That was difficult, I guess because I had gone from having a lot of savings to having no savings, to having my own money.
Which he wasn't able.
To access, which is another issue of our relationship, to then having to give it all away and not have any safety in it, and not have any thing for myself.
We also live in a small area.
Like I said, every time I call up there would be like, okay, let me take your name down, here's my name, let me take his name down, here's his name.
Oh sorry, conflict of interest. We can't help you. Oh sorry, conflict of interests. We can't help you. So I was kept getting.
Roadblocks, and that's because your partner had spoken to that lawyer, right, yes, And was that a strategy he had implemented on purpose or was that a strategy that he'd just had a chat with a few lawyers, because I know that in situations like that sometimes one party will inquire with a lawyer to block the other party out from using them.
I think it's a bit of both.
I mean, we suspect that he did a lot of manipulation, but we also don't think he is smart enough to manipulate. So it's a bit of like a don't give yeah, it's more of an assumption.
I suppose.
I want to ask a little bit about your being on welfare, because we actually put out I don't remember if you responded specifically to this host potentially, but we wanted to talk to a diarist who was living off of welfare because I think that there's a really big stigma attached to people who utilize welfare resources, and I think that often people carry shame with them that they
absolutely just shouldn't have to. I want to know for you, how did you feel going from obviously an incredibly challenging situation. You said you didn't want to move back in with your parents, you maybe felt a little bit stuck. Did you experience any of those feelings and how did you kind of move past them.
I definitely did experience some stigma with being on welfare because my family are very against welfare.
So both of.
My parents' parents have been on welfare basically their whole lives. Especially my dad's family. I don't think they've ever worked today in their life. So my mom especially, she looked down on welfare, and I didn't want her to look.
Down on me.
But as our relationship started to mend itself by having my daughter by being in the house, by talking to her about what actually goes on in my life when I think what I feel being diagnosed with the exact same autoimmune condition.
It opened up her eyes to what my life can.
Be now that I'm on welfare because I have stability, I have the option to stay in bed an extra bit longer, I have the option to go to the park for five hours instead of one like It helped her see the benefit, although she still does see the downfall. And I think when I tell people like, oh, I'm on welfare, no, you can't get a colone, No, you can't get a home load.
So it stopped me progressing in my future as well.
Yeah, of course, Yeah, it's a bit.
I don't know. It's hard to tell people when they're like, oh, what do you do?
And I'm like, I'm a stay at home mum, because they're like, oh, you're a stay at home mum. It's like, actually, my daughter and I both the happiest we have been in our entire lives. And she's safe because I don't have to leave, yeah, because I can stay home.
Yeah.
And I think that that's so important to point out as well, because for a lot of people who are on welfare, it's not a choice, Like you didn't choose to go down this rooge. Like, I'm sure in a perfect world that is not how you wanted it to work out, but it is how it works out. And I'm genuinely so grateful we live in a country where we have that support that you can stay at home. And it sounds like you are an absolute hustler as well, so I don't think that's going to be your reality forever.
So it's so nice that you've got that bridging finance in a way to go do you know what, here's this so you can get on your feet and you can have the stability and then you can thrive later. And I think that that's, you know, the way a lot of our community sees welfare and sees that thing, like whether you're on what is it, youth allowance or you know, a parenting pension or a disability payment, like most of us are in that situation. Because it's just
the situation. It is what it is, and that's great. Let's also work on ourselves, work out where we actually want to be, because I think that there's this stigma when you say welfare that you go, oh, well, you just missed be a doll b lodger, when that's actually not the case at all. It's so situational, and I feel like too many people just assume the worst the second you say that word, and that's not what that
means at all. Like the idea that welfare exists and this beautiful mum got out of a financially and you know, domestically violent situation and now can support her child, I'm all for.
It, yeah, one thousand percent. And it doesn't mean that you have to sit there forever either. You said just before that, you know, you kind of had to put your career on hold. What do you want your future to look like? What are your plans?
So I guess, like, as I said before, I'm just like starting to dip my toes in finance. So I started looking into personal finance for myself. And so I made a shift. It's very interesting shift, and I was explaining it to my current CEO and she's like, I don't get it. So I worked in childcare for eight years.
I worked on the floor with children every day. I then ran my own center and then got pregnant after a year and a half of being with somebody, and then by the time she was three months, he was gone. So I was like, I can't cope being with the children. It's too trickering considering we do the same job. There's a lot of downfalls to being with children all day, every day when you're just not mentally coping.
Yep.
I went and looked for an alternative job, which was in admin. So I had done my business certificate and I started working in admin. And then my boss was like telling me all about how they split the cost of the parents and their children and what room gets what, and I found that really interesting, so then I started my personal finance journey. So then I started at the beginning of the year that I would try out working in finance. I started studying in finance, and I guess
that's where I'm going to go with my career. I've gone away from working in a school age environ and childcare environment to working more with my mind and less with my body, and I think having an auto imane condition. I can't do the long hours. I don't have the energy to be with other people's children. I barely have enough for myself after I've been with my daughter all day. So that's where my life's going to go. So I'm
more focused on being happy and present. And because my case is not officially closed, so he's gone.
Don't know how he went. He just disappeared.
He least twenty minutes down the road, which is very scary, so he can shot up and just take my daughter whenever he wants.
So I just trying to try and be present.
And yeah, that's why I guess I stayed on welfare, because although I love to.
Work and I love to learn, if I want to have an extra.
Day to just be with her, then I can and I won't regret it if something were to happen. Yeah.
Wow, thank you for sharing that. That's really challenging to think that that's overlaid onto your decision to go. Do you know what, I just want to stay here doing this for now, to be present for my daughter. It's a very special decision to be able to make, and I'm sure that she is absolutely thrilled by that decision the time. She's like, this is the best I am living my best life. But what will it mean in the future. You said your case isn't closed. Is that
circumstance going to change significantly? Maybe once it is.
It's hard to say because I don't know if her father will return. Like like I said, he lives very close he you know, he's always on the topic of her life for her.
He can just show up and take her.
The case is not officially closed, no letter saying hey, you're going to full time parent. It's just an expectation that I do and I have done it since the day she was born. So if he was to show up, that would be a lot of money to fork out as well. Like they told me last year that if I was to go to court, I'd probably not win. I'd probably end up we shared care and it would
cost me one hundred thousand dollars. And if I'm not showing that I'm being true to supporting their relationship, I then have to pay his bill as well.
Yeah wow, Yeah, and lawyers are not cheap.
My lawyer is like five fifteen hour and she charges every six minutes.
Yeah for her time. Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah.
So I have to keep in mind that if he was to return, it's not just an emotional thing, it's also a financial thing. He'll be able to come after everything I now own, He'll be able to.
Get my daughter.
He'll be like I'll be up for thousands of dollars, possibly hundreds of thousand dollars if it goes to court. So I just want to be present and be with her until that happens.
That's such a hard decision to make. But I'm really proud that you're so clear on what you are doing, because I think historically when I've spoken to people about similar situations, they're just like, I just don't know what I want to do, And you seem so clear that you're like, I just want to spend as much time
with my daughter and just be present. I think that that's such a beautiful space to be in during a time where you arguably have a lot of turmoil surrounding you, Like that's a lot to deal with, but I think you're doing a very beautiful job, my friend. Thank you all right, Jess, I think unfortunately that is all we have time for today, money direst. I have adored learning about your story. Thank you for sharing so much of
yourself and your daughter's story with us. I think it's been so powerful to understand where you're coming from and how things are benefiting you, but also how it's so challenging. Like I feel like so many people in our community are really going to resonate with this story or even just have a better understanding of people in your position. So I'm really grateful that you were here today to share that with us. So thank you, Jess. Can you wrap the boring but important stuff?
Of course, don't forget, guys, the advice shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or, a financial decision and we promise Victoria Devine and she's on the money. Are authorized representatives of Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited, A b N four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven O four nine AFS
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Bye,