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She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another Shop Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to one of our gorgeous community members, learn about them, their story, their money, arguably the most interest bit, and ask them all the juicy questions that you want to know. V I've got a good one.
Do you actually? Because you say this every week, I don't think it's possible to have a bad way if I really yet to be disappointed. So that's okay, let's get into it. Read out the email. I want to know what we're up to today.
Our diarist says, fourteen years ago, I was in the worst kind of relationship. It was mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially abusive. Ten years ago, I finally found the strength to get myself out of there, and while untangling the web of deceit I've been living in, I found out the true extent of the financial whole he'd been digging me into. I was one hundred and twenty thousand dollars in debt on credit cards I didn't even know existed.
It took me seven very long years and cost me almost two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, but I finally paid it all off. Proudest moment of my life. Today, I am consumer debt free. I have an amazing job that I adore, I own my own home, and I run a successful business in my spare time. I'd love to share my phoenix rising from the ashes tail with you and your listeners.
God, I have goosebumps literally look at Oh. I'm like, Oh, what a story money, darist. Welcome to the show. Hi, Oh my god. Before we jump into it, Jess, we probably should do a little bit of a content warning given that really beautiful intro you gave. So I don't know what we're going to talk about today, but we're going to talk about everything that was listed. So if this isn't the episode for you and you're just not ready for it, that is totally okay. We have a
heap of other money does you can jump into. But today, as always, we are going to be very raw, very real, and I am very excited to share your story money, Darist. Oh my god, I that's crazy, that is so crazy. I have so many questions, but as just said offline, we have to get through the structured questions so that we're all on the same page and then we can have a good chat. So Money, Darist, let's start at the start. Can you tell me a little bit about your money story?
Sure? So I grew up in a single parent family and money was kind of always tight for us. Like we're talking black and gold food and homemade clothes and stuff, like I never went hungry. There was always a roof over my head and food in the pantry. We just didn't have anything more than the basics. And once I kind of left home, it led me to to not
want to replicate that for myself. But because of a few life circumstances with growing up, I just I made a bunch of really silly decisions, and yeah, I ended up getting involved with someone who really was the worst person I could have ever gotten involved with. But yeah, as I said in my letter, I was in a very very deep hole financially, but I decided that I didn't want to go bankrupt and I didn't want to kind of escape from it, so I fought my way
back to the top. Paint it all off, and I'm so happy that my life is so much different now.
Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you, and we've only just met. Can you tell me a little bit about what your attitude towards money is now? Like, obviously, growing up it was quite tight and there's absolutely nothing
wrong with black and gold. I still buy that every day, But it does become kind of stigma in your life, right, Like you kind of look at it and go, oh, that means that I can't afford you know, their CSR sugar, And I know that that is you know something that I've spoken to friends about who have been through situations like that. But what do you see money as?
Now? I see money as it's not the scarce resource that I used to think it was. I think I've got my head screwed on straight finally. And to me, it's a means to enjoy myself, Like it's the reward that I get for putting in so much hard work. Like I have a day job and you know, a couple of sight hustles, so I put in a lot of hours, and so the money's the reward from that. So I like to enjoy it. Like when I go out, I like to kind of splurge every now and then.
And I don't think that's a bad thing because I'm not robbing from Peter to pay Paul I budget for my splurges now.
So, oh my gosh, I love this all right. So money, darrest, tell us, what do you do for work and how much money do you earn?
I am so excited to answer this question, really, I am. Why are you? Because I have changed things so much in the last six months.
Oh get it, queen, I love this, tell us.
So I am an analyst. I got a job at a new company last year, and my numbers are so much better than before. I am on a salary of ninety five thousand. I get thirteen percent super on top of that.
Oh so nice, very nice.
And my total rems one hundred and seven five hundred. And then we have an annual bonus scheme as well, and that max is out at ten percent, so I could get up to a nine and a half thousand bonus in July.
Money win. And then you mentioned you have a few side hustles. You don't have to tell us exactly what they are, but how much money do you earn from those and how much time does it take you each week?
So I have three side hustles. I have like a crafting business where I kind of create things with my hands, which lets me kind of get my artistics streak out, which is very different to the work I do day to day, which is very kind of logical and spreadsheet based.
An analytical. Yeah, I mean there's nothing wrong with spreadsheets. If you came here to talk smack about spreadsheets, we're gonna have to end todayy here, my friends.
Well, no, you are gonna love my spreadsheets. My second side hustle is a wholesale supply store for the same kind of crufts that I do, so I sell to other people like me, other makers. And then I'm also in the process of setting up like a clothing and home wears bround, but I'm finding it really hard to find the extra time to dedicate to getting it off the ground. So that's kind of just in its little infancy stages at the moment.
I am not surprised. I've got two side hustles full time job. By the way, it's actually really hard to start a business.
Why. Yeah, so the biggest side hustle, the wholesale business, turns over about two hundred K year.
Wow, that is not a side hustle. That is a full time I how to tell you this, but that's not that side hustle.
Well, it's not enough to live on. Like the actual profit after I've taken every out, the actual profit is only about half of my annual salary. So I'm not ready to give up my day job yet. Yeah, but I know that I can grow that further. I just don't want to get too big too quick, and I know that managing growth is a delicate balance.
So holy moly, imagine being like, oh I have a side hustle, me thinking she earns like a few extra hundred bucks or thousand bucks a year two hundred grand? Oh okay, all right, well I'll just get back in my box. All right, Mini dis I think you're beyond impressive. I am loving this, but I want to know, as the next question, what is your big money goal?
So all of the money that was previously going toward paying down credit card repayments and things, that's all our being repointed to saving up for a massive relocation that we are hoping to do next year. We want to move and have a bit of a tree change. We want to kind of find our dream home and move to an area that's a little bit more quiet and start looking to wind down the busy life and start
enjoying life a little bit more. Ultimately, I want to fire within the next kind of ten to fifteen years. So yeah, it's definitely time for us to start thinking about what we're going to do after the busy phase of our life.
With that type of income, you definitely can achieve that. Like how exciting, Oh it is?
It really really is and we deserve it. Like I keep pinching myself and going is this real? And like my other half is always like, yes, this is. You deserve this. We deserve it.
You do it sounds like you've worked really hard to get there, so you do one hundred percent.
Oh my gosh. So, being a little bit pervy, you said you have a partner, which I am really excited to hear because obviously, having gone through so much and I don't know enough about it, have come out the other side, and to have a partner, that's like, no, you deserve it. Like, oh, I think you do too, Like, let's learn more about you. So if you want to do fire, you're probably going to need some investments. So the next question is do you currently invest I certainly
do give us the pervy juicy details. So I've got a hundred and seventy K in my super. It's not very much, but ten years ago I only had twelve K in super, so I've put aside a fair whack ah, that is a very big chunk.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay, Jess, It's only okay.
Well, I was a lot kind of further behind. I was a lot below the kind of average balances when I first saw it and looked at it. So I worked hard to kind of get it back up, and now I think I'm probably a bit above people in my age bracket, so that's good. I've also got spaceship. I have two portfolios there only about two and a half k there. I do my roundups through Rays. I've got about four and a half grand there, and I love Rays because I've never noticed a single cent of
that money. It is just completely free money.
Jess and I were recording an episode recently just about the different types of investing platforms that are out there, but we feel like our community has so much like to learn about what they are, Like what does a raise and a spaceship do compared to like shares ease,
and then what is robo advice? And so we need to break all these But I was saying on that episode, like roundups are so powerful because it's kind of like incidental, Like it's always the small things like a coffee or like you know, going out for lunch that you go, oh, it was thirteen dollars or something, but it was fourteen dollars if it rounded up. And I just feel like small things really add up, and that it's a way
that we really need to prioritize ourselves. Not necessarily through apps like that, but it's even if we just set up an automatic transfer to our savings account of like three dollars a day or something, or five dollars. Like remember ages ago, we're talking about putting your coffee money into savings. Like the small things really add up. And look at you. You got four and a half grand saved and you're saying you didn't even feel it.
Yeah, never even noticed it going out of my accounts.
What moneyed in?
The best?
Oh the best.
And then I also do micro investing, so I have Shaeseas and Steak and that's like my play money. So they are total gambles, but I'm kind of doing okay because it's play money and it's like I don't care if I lose it. I've only put in one hundred and seventy five bucks, but I've gotten some huge returns on my picks there, so I've got about five hundred bucks in those at the moment, So that's really good.
How cool?
Yeah, and then part of fire, I have some investments in ETFs via their self wealth apps. So I've only got about two and a half grand in there at the moment, but that's certainly where I'm funneling all of my savings at the moment to into my ETFs.
Very cool. She's very diversified, lots of platforms, lots of things you're playing with. I love it. We do want to flip this and ask about debts now though, And I know that you a couple of years ago paid off a pretty big debt, but do you currently have any debts?
The only debt that I have is the mortgage, and I'm so so proud of that. Consumer debt is all completely gone.
Yay job. That's so exciting. Oh my god, I yess beIN goosebumps when people say that, Like, I kid you not, if you were here, you'd be like, you have very hairy, sticky uppy arms, fatoria. But can you tell us a bit about that feeling? Like paying off debt obviously is a really big undertaking. It is the long slog like it takes ages, especially from a situation like you were in. What was that final day of payment?
Like, oh my gosh, it was amazing. So I was just doing some sums one day and I just kind of thought, oh my gosh, i think I've got enough, like in the paying down debt bank account, I think I've got enough to get the last little bit on the card. So I made some phone calls and I went and made the last payment and then oh, gosh, now what good look at me because I work from home. So I raced next door and kind of said, oh my gosh, I've just done it. I've just done the
last payment. Then I then I drove down the road to the BWS and bought myself a really expensive bottle of shit.
Ye yes, I feel like that is so well deserved and that was probably the most delicious glass of champagne you've had in your life. Right, absolutely, Oh my gosh. That makes me so happy because so many times when we're in these situations, it's stretches out, it takes forever, and then you kind of click transfer and it feels really non coincidental. We're like, oh, that part of my life is done. Like it's done. What do you mean?
Like we need to be celebrating this. So I'm so glad you got the opportunity to run next door and to get some champagne and to actually enjoy it. And if you're listening to this and you're in a similar situation, please celebrate those things because you need to embrace them, like you don't want to just sit there and go oh, because that's what I did. Like when I paid off my personal debt, which was absolutely, in no way, shape
or form nearly as big as yours. I just kind of like transferred it and I was like, oh, we're done. Oh and I just I expected fireworks and I got a submit screen. So so no, I'm so proud of you. How good? All right, let's talk about more exciting things. We want to get through these questions because Jess is trying to wrap me up as usual. The next question, when you're shopping online, do you use shopback?
I don't because I don't actually shop online. Is she I have moved over to a cash system.
I was going to say, are you an envelope person?
Yeah?
I am on the.
Cash envelope stuffer, so all of my spending is in cash.
Yeah, incredible.
I actually have my little folder just here with all so cute, so I do cash stuffing. So my little LA wallet comes with me whenever I want to go and spend money. And aside from that, I can't spend because I don't have cash.
Oh my gosh, that's genius. I feel like I am so surprised that so many people are still using cash, because obviously I'm such a taper card kind of gal and go and I'm always shocked that people still do it, but it makes so much sense, Like, especially if you're a very visual learner and you're more of a creative I find that having it in front of you is the best way to go, Okay, this is how much I have left. Even though you know what's on your card,
it's just such a different experience. And then when you have to separate with the money, it just feels different. So you're more like to put another block between actually buying something. And it just makes sense, like some people need cash systems, and you're obviously thriving on it. I love that.
Yeah, I found that it really helps me to like picture how much I'm going to have left, Like if I've got let's say it's pay day and I've got one hundred dollars worth of spending money in my purse. If i want to go and get sushi and that's going to cost me like thirty dollars, then that's taking a third of the money out of my purse. Whereas if I'm just tapping plastic, I don't notice it. But yeah, with cash, I really think about it before I hand it over.
How do you manage investments with cash?
I take the cash that I save up, so like my my little investment envelope, I take that cash once it hits a thousand dollars and I go and deposit it in the back just at the atm Oh, how can then do the online stuff after that?
Yeah, airpic. Oh, my gosh, I love that. That's so interesting. All right, I feel like you're going to have a really good answer to this. I want to know what your best money habit is.
Yeah, you're gonna love this. It's you.
Like, sit down, Victoria, you are not ready.
So I'm an analyst by trade, and I am huge on spreadsheets and data. I have this massive spreadsheet that has got every single bill I've ever paid and all of the estimated amounts and dates going forward for the next twelve months. It has our household budget. It has how much needs to be transferred into each of our little sub accounts when we get paid. It had all of my credit card repayment projections so that I could see when each card was due to get paid off. Yeah,
it's got everything. And now I do it on the first day of every month, and I calculate my net worth every month.
My gosh, so you did it yesterday? Were you excited about it yesterday?
So excited?
How good? Oh my gosh. I feel like I'm going to be asking you for your spreadsheet after this because I am so pervy on people's spreadsheets. It's bad. All right. Next question, We've got to bring the tone of this conversation down. What's your worst money habit.
I think my worst my habit is probably that I like a bit of luxury in my life. So I am very fond of the finer things in life because I struggled for so long. So now that I'm not on struggle street anymore, Like I prefer to fly business, and I really love saving up all of my points so that I can upgrade to first class. And I like splurging on expensive hotels, and like I don't just get the basic room, I get the club room on the high floor with the cocktail bar and the free nibbles.
Oh my god. No, no, no, that's not a bad money habit. That is you living your best life because you absolutely deserve it. Absolutely, We're not having this argument. That's not a bad money habit. Money direst I'm not going to ask you for another one. But like I'm rendering that invalid. Terrible, terrible, terrible answer to that, I think that that is fantastic and you absolutely deserve it. Like that is not a
bad money habit. That is you going gin know what, Look how far I've come, and look how much I get to enjoy my life Like that is so cool? So all right, next before we go to a quick break, is money Diarist, what grade would you give your money habits if we forced you to give them a grade?
I'm going to put tickets on myself here.
You do, you absolutely do? All right, We have lots of questions for you right after this short break. All right, money Diarist, we are back and your story is huge. I am so inspired by you. You have a full time job, you have two side hustles, nearly three side hustles. Your side hustle turns over two hundred grand a year. You're earning like one hundred grand a year. But that is absolutely not where you have come from. Can you
tell us a little bit about your history? In your email that you sent to us, you said that you had been in the worst relationship of your entire life, and there was credit going everywhere and you didn't even know about half the credit cards. I feel like listening to your diary and I know other people are going to have, you know, been along this same journey with me,
I feel like I'm just so inspired. You speak so confidently and you just sound like this epic human that I can't right now comprehend that that was your history. So can you tell us a little bit about that and how that worked?
Yeah? Yeah, sure. So fourteen years ago I got involved with a man who very quickly became my abuser, and it was just the worst time of my life. Towards the end, he was showing the scariest of all of the abuse types, and I knew that if I stayed much longer, I would die. I wouldn't make it out alive. So ten years ago, sorry.
Your time, take your time.
I'm so sorry you're not. Don't hate to.
Talk about it.
No, no, no, no, no, it's it's all good. Heavy right At that part, I just always go.
Ooh, that's a lot for someone to go through.
It is, yeah, it really is. So ten years ago I finally went and got some psychological help for the first time in my life, and my psychologist helped me to find the strength within to leave. They say that it takes a survivor on average about seven attempts to get out, and I managed to do it on my sixth attempt, which I was really proud of above average. I was just so happy, Like I got back in touch with all of my friends and my family whom
my abuser had cut me off from. I could use the bathroom without permission, I could go grocery shopping, I could, you know, like I could just do anything I wanted and I didn't have someone yelling at me all the time. And it was like I just had this whole new life. I'd escaped and I was free. And then a couple of months later it kind of all turned back into a nightmare. I kind of found out that, well, these credit card statements just started showing up and I didn't
even know about them. It turned out that there had been cards taken out in my name that like some of them were even from banks. I'd never even heard of. The two credit cards that I did know that I had, I thought that they both had a two thousand dollar limit, But when I finally got to see my bank statements for those, he'd increased those credit limits and he'd applied for all these other ones in my name and bodged my signature and stolen my driver's license and stuff, and
then he'd maxed everything out. It took me tons and tons of digging, and I actually had to go and get all of my credit reports so that I could find out some of the cards because he'd put different addresses on them, and the post wasn't even coming to the house. So eventually I kind of tallied it all up and it was one hundred and twenty six thousand dollars that I owed, and I was just petrified. I was so scared. I had no idea how on earth
I was going to get out of that. And like we were talking ten years ago, this was before the banking reform and before banks had DV you know, and hardship policies in place and things like that, so I was on the hook for all of it. I went to the police and they spoke to him, but he said that I knew about them, and I'd signed all the forms, so it turned into my word against his,
and I had no croused. It was awful. I briefly consider going bankrupt, but I knew that, like I wanted to buy a house, and I knew that I wanted to keep my options open, like for a possible career change one day, because I know that if you've been bankrupt, you can't have some jobs. So I decided that bankruptcy wasn't something that I personally wanted to go through. So yeah, I just I moved everything that I could across to
zero percent interest cards. I called all of the banks and asked them to close the accounts and just let me pay them off slowly so that nothing else could possibly get added to them.
Yeah.
Of course, it took me almost seven years, and the total payback figure was two hundred and forty seven thousand, four hundred and fourteen dollars and eighty four cents.
The fact that you paid that amount of money off in seven years is such a testament to your willpower to be honest like that is a mind boggling amount of money, and to pay it off in such a short amount of time while recovering from trauma, while having to set yourself up with a whole new life completely different from the one you had. That is no small feet. That is incredibly impressive. So a big congratulations to you for doing that.
I'm so sorry that was your experience, so impressed, Like I just I also can see this now that you had where you're like, look, I looked into my options and bankruptcy wasn't for me. And I think that so many people in the moment. It's like you have blinkers on when you have that much debt staring you in the face, especially having come out of a DV situation, that they go, oh, that'll get me out of the situation. Okay, let's just do that, and they think about the ramifications later.
You were like, no, I'm going to look at my options, Like imagine going through that situation and maintaining a level head like you, my friend, are a superhuman like who can actually do that? But it's true, right, bankruptcy isn't for everybody, And if you want to work in certain areas or you know, in a period of time you want to buy a house, like that actually is going to stop you. So the fact that you were like, you know what, this is going to as me x amount.
I'm going to do it. I'm in awe of you, Like how cool. So tell me a bit about the future, Like you've obviously gotten out of this debt and started saving aggressively, which is very exciting because you want to achieve fire. How quickly are we achieving that? Because if you can save two hundred and fifty grand in seven years, which is basically what you did, you've taught yourself how to do that. What's next? Where are we going?
So we're hoping that we can relocate towards the end of next year. We are aggressively paying down the mortgage here at the moment. So along the way, while I was paying down the debt, I also bought a block of land, I saved up a deposit, I built a house. What Jes I met?
This is a made up, pretend story. You can't be this good?
Oh serious? I mean like I had a second job to help with saving up the deposit and things. But yeah, and I met a wonderful, patient, kind, understanding human. I got engaged and married. We had these two amazing overseas trips. But I did all of those in a really scaled down way. Like I bought the cheapest block of land in a housing estate a long way away from where
I wanted to actually live. I built this minuscule little house on it, so it was just big enough for me and my dogs, and that was all that I needed at the time because it was just me. So when we got married, we had a micro wedding. There were only like twenty people there and it was a
bit of a surprise. We only told the people who were going to be invited to the wedding, and after the ceremony, we just kind of jumped on a public bus and we went to a restaurant down the road and I just had our wedding reception in a restaurant, Like it was really scaled down, but it was all we needed and wanted. We got to have the people who matted the most with us there for the day, and we didn't go into any debt for it, Like I didn't get any cost us about five grands.
So that is so beyond special. Like, I love that you've been able to achieve these things along the way, because so many times paying of debt that's that aggressive can often feel all consuming and overwhelming. How did you know that going through that situation? How did you know that you could buy a block of land and build a house and do all of these things, Like did you get advice or were you, you know, doing your own research? Obviously you're quite intelligent on your own, But
where did you get your resources? Because I'm sure that there are some people listening right now that are either in your situation or have been in your situation, and I would love to know. I guess what resources did you rely on?
Absolutely So, when I got myself free of the whole situation, I got a lot of help from a domestic violence support group in the city close to where I live, and they were really really helpful with information about like grants that you can get and lenders who are good for helping you get back up on your feet again and things like that. It was aired down, bum up,
get it done. I knew that I needed to get out of the situation I was in, and I just put every spare second of my time towards achieving that goal.
And I did, oh my gosh, And if there was somebody listening that was like, oh my gosh, this is
me in a nutshell, I am. Look, that's the worst thing about these types of debts, right, like where people are forging your signature, Like obviously you went to the police, and I think that a lot of people would have been thinking like, sure, you would have got the cops involved, and you mentioned before you did, but you're right, it's your word against his, and I'm sure you could have taken it further, but then it would have included legal bills and you know, a lawyer and getting all of
that and the emotional stress. Like, sometimes it is just better. And I'm not saying this in a way where I go, just pay the debt, like nobody wants to have to do that, but sometimes you just go, do you know what. I know that's a lot of money, but I'd prefer to pay that than have any conversation about this person.
Ever.
Again, like, is that the situation you were in?
Absolutely? One hundred percent. I knew that. Like I couldn't even show up to when you have a devo, you have to go back for another hearing to have it extended, and I couldn't even show up to that because I was just too I couldn't be in the same room. So absolutely it was a case of I just I need to put this behind me, and the way that is going to be kindest on my soul to do that is to get it done myself.
What steps did you take following on from that? Obviously you've made that decision, which is a really big and hard decision to make. What steps did you take to prevent yourself from finding out that he had opened more credit cards or done something, Because obviously you've separated yourself from him, you've taken yourself out of that situation. But obviously, historically you didn't know what he was doing. He was doing it without your permission. He'd obviously figured out how
to ford your signature. Were there any things, particularly that you did to make sure that that couldn't happen again?
I did. Actually, there is a legal service specifically for women who have escaped from domestic violence, and the legal service actually assisted me by drafting a letter that I sent. I had it certified by JPS, and had it sent with my id off to oh gosh, it must have been about thirty or forty financial institutions that kind of said, I guarantee you I will never be applying for credit, do not accept anything with my details. And nothing has
ever come up. I have all of my credit reports emailed to me once a month.
Now, that's a great idea.
And so nothing else has ever come up. I check regularly, and I think I'm in the all clear now.
So you found out a lot of these debts because you looked at your credit score. And I feel like so many people in this situation, like you wouldn't have had any need to look into your credit score before that, right, but you would have uncovered it a lot earlier had you checked it. Is that something that you go, bloody hell, Victoria, I wish I'd known about that? Or is that something
where you're like, do you know what? I'm glad that I just got out and I am done, because they feel like credit scores some people just don't even know that they can check them.
I'm of two minds. I've delved into a lot of stuff from that time period with my shrink, and I'm of two minds. Part of me wishes that having those credit reports sent to every person as soon as you hit eighteen, everybody should sign up for these credit reports and have them sent to you all the time, because it's not just TV. It can just be you know, going on holiday to Thailand and swiping your credit card
somewhere and having it cloned exact. Lot of those things are important, But there's another part of me that is like, well, if I had known back then before I was ready to escape. I would have just accepted what he was telling me, and I wouldn't have been able to fight back, and then it might have even been worse.
Yes, So yeah, isn't it interesting how in hindsight you go, you know what, it was a really shitty situation, but the cards fell out in exactly the right way that they were meant to And now you're in this beautiful position that you absolutely deserve to be in. And I guess you're the light at the end of the tunnel for everybody in this situation who goes, oh, I just can't see it, like you can't because you only get
to see it in hindsight. Like it's crazy to think that, you know, fourteen years ago, you didn't see yourself in this position. Like what would you say to yourself fourteen year younger you?
I think I would probably say that I can survive anything, that I have the drive and the passion and the will inside of me, but more importantly, that I have to strength and everybody has it. You just need to figure out how to harness it. And I also firmly believe that if anyone is in a similar situation and they don't know how to get out, Go and speak to your GP, Go and get yourself a mental health care plan, and then go and get some sessions are free.
Get some free sessions with a psychologist, and they will help you to find that strength and that power within and will help you get safe because without knowing how to escape a relationship like that safely, it can actually
be really dangerous. But because of my shrink, we got a whole heap of stuff all kind of lined up and got all the docks in a row, and it made making that break so much easier because I had someone there to kind of take control and say these other steps were going to follow, and I didn't know what steps I needed to do.
Yeah, and you have no idea because you've never been in that situation before, Like why would you know that? But you've brought up a really important point, and that's that these situations are and can be incredibly dangerous. Like as you said before, it's incredibly hard to hear, and sadly, it's not the first time I've heard that. It's if I don't leave, I will lose my life, and it's not a case. And I think it's such a naive point of view, and people are like, well, why didn't
you just leave? Like, no, that's not how this works. As you said before, it takes seven times. It took you six, which is very, very impressive. But you actually need a plan. You need to put your ducks in a row, because it's not just about you, it's about the whole situation unfolding in the way that it needs to unfold, because otherwise you're in a worse off situation
than you were in the first place. Absolutely, so, one of the best tips I can you know, recommend is obviously what you said, money direst go to your GP, but the National Debt Helpline, I'm obsessed with them, Like they have so many good free resources, they have free financial counselors. They have been through all of this before. It n't their first rodeo, sadly, but go talk to people who are there for you and it doesn't have to cost money, Like absolutely GP free sessions and articulate
that to your GP. You want to see someone and you want it bulk build. You don't want to have any excess or any over and that you need that and they're going to prioritize it. They're going to only refer you to somebody who that could work for. But you really need to articulate that need, because there's nothing worse than going, oh, I need to get some psych help, and you go to the GP and then they refer you to someone and there's like a gap of like
sixty bucks and you're like, I can't, I can't. So make sure that you're articulating what you need, because that's actually so beyond powerful to be able to say, you know what, I just need a little bit of help right now, because we all do one hundred percent.
And when I was like still in the relationship, I didn't have a card for my own bank account. He had it, so I had no access to money of any kind. He would top up my train ticket, you know, he would do the grocery shopping. I had no access to cash. So if I couldn't go to a bulk billing GP and get referred to a bulk billing psychologist, I don't think I would have been able to get out.
Oh my gosh, you are so powerful. I am so impressed. Money Direst. Thank you so much for coming and sharing your story. I know that there are going to be people listening to this going. How did she do that. That's insane, that's incredible. But some of the most powerful people I know have been through situations like yours and honestly the most inspiring humans I know. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. Oh my gosh, Jess, what a powerhouse.
Incredible And if you are in a similar situation, check out the show notes. We will have a whole host of resources available to you. And if you know someone who's going through something like this, reach out because I think that it's hard to feel alone, but there are absolutely people and resources out there that can help you.
You're not alone.
We're here exactly right.
Thanks so much for having me on the show. Guys. I've been a listener for so long and I'm just so happy that I could come on and be maybe a little bit of a voice of inspiration for some of your other listeners. So thank you.
Oh Mada, you are huge, You are massive. I'm obsessed. Thank you so much for coming.
Jess.
Do you want to wrap the boring but important bids?
Yeah, of course. The advice sheared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an
investment or a financial decision. And Thomas, Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven O four nine if SL two three six five two three zero.
On Wednesday, guys bye,