Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for people who want financial freedom. Today's Friday, which means it's time to get the team together and celebrate you the incredible She's on the Money community. Today will be
sharing our favorite money wins. We'll be helping to answer juicy money dilemma which this week is all about rainbow washing workplaces, and we unpack something you slid into our dams about which this week is the pressure to be personally and financially set up by your thirties.
These are good exciting things.
Yeah, I know they're very relatable. Actually both these are actually relatable to me. But Jess, the energy is different in this room today. I feel like we've got someone else with us.
Well, that would be exactly why, because we do, in fact have somebody else with us. We have our wonderful friend Maria at Till joining us for this International Women's Day episode. And it's a very full cycle moment because if you came to our Melbourne International Women's Day event in twenty twenty two, you would have seen the gorgeous Maria then as well. So we're so excited to have you back.
Thank you guys for having me. When you were saying that, I'm like, oh my god, am I breathing too heavily.
In the.
So it's good to be back. I'm so excited to be chatting to you guys. And I can't believe it's been what to you since then?
Oh my god, it's flown. It is crazy. But for those who don't know you, Maria is a woman of so many talents. She is an author, a speaker, a host, former Miss Universe Australia as well as a huge advocate for women and the lgbt Q, I A plus communities. Literally, I feel like there's nothing that you can't or don't do.
I feel like that list makes me sound so much more impressive than I actually am. I I can't stop ordering uberds, I can't read them out very well. I'm surprised I got here on time. So there's like there's a lot you guys, this is what I mean.
It wouldn't be fair if you were all of these things and also very timely.
So something there's a lot that gives you, guys.
It's extremely comforting to know she's just one of.
Us who heavily into microphones and disappears into the ether. Perfect.
That's my kind of woman, honestly. A First of all, let's start off with talking about our weeks. Jess, do you want to go first? How's you've been?
It's been good. I love International Women's Day Week because I feel like there's two sides to it, right, Because sometimes it can feel very performative, like we're rolling out the pink cupcakes in the corporate office. We love women will but we'll never promote them. So you know, it's kind of a double sided coin where it can feel very performative, but I love that we are celebrating women
and all of the amazing things that they do. And it's a bit different for us this year because it's the first year in three years that we're not doing our events because vd's just had beautiful baby Mini, which is very exciting and new and different in and of itself. But it's just really cool, I think this week to see all of these incredible platforms creating space for women in all different sectors, in all different areas of the world, and I just am like gobbling up the content and
absolutely living for it. So Happy International Women's Day, everybody, I'm loving it. How about you, Maria, how's your week been? You'd be busy? I feel like at the moment.
Busy busy. It feels like one thing I'm getting better at over the years. I would have to say that I wasn't when I lasted. Your event is finding a sense of balance. So even though it's busy, I'm still making time for life, stuff to go for a walk, read a book, not lose my mind. And that's really nice, you know, So things are good in mind. I can't complain.
Bext to how's your week been?
Really nice?
I stopped meditating a little while ago, and I just started up again, so I feel like maybe it's placebo effect, but I feel like so much more zan, you know, And I think I needed it this week because it's always always around this time that you see the the M word misogynists popping up every now and then when's International Menday Midsday, so every other day of the year. But anyway, so I feel like I've needed it this week and it has really come in handy. So for me,
I've just been chilling as well. It's just been a really nice week. But Jess, I feel like I don't have a good sag. I really wish I did. I was trying to, but I really want to hear about the community money wins, all right, let me.
Give you some. So firstly, this week I've got a money win from Rachel, who said I bought my first home. Property Playbook helped me immensely. And that might be a little bit self indulgent because Property Playbook is the show that I co hosted, but I'm just really excited for you, Rachel. I feel like that is such a wonderful feeling, and I know what a hard slog it is to get there. I feel like all of us do. So congratulations, proud of your girls.
Amazing.
Next, I've got a money win from Leah, who said, my partner and I are moving in together after Easter, so I have been scouring the op shops to stock up our home. This coffee machine popped up on Facebook Marketplace on Saturday for free, and I thought, surely not, so I messaged the guy who posted it and I was the first one to reach out, so I went and picked it up straight away, and my partner could
hardly believe it when I told him. RRP would have been around two thousand, five hundred dollars, So it is my biggest money win today. And she popped in a photo and it's one of those I'm not a coffee drinker, but like fancy Barista digital. That's incredible and it made me think, you know, on Facebook place when people with something is free, but really it's not free. Yeah, so I was worried that that's where that was going to go, but it didn't happy ending.
Yeah, that's amazing.
I don't believe that.
I know how good well done, Leah. Next, I've got a money win from Alana, who said I cleaned out my spare bedroom and I had one hundred and twenty bucks in a backpack that I hadn't used in years.
WHOA, okay, I go.
Where every week there is a win from somebody saying, like, I found twenty bucks in my jeans, I found fifty bucks in my car, And I want to know how these people are losing their cash ever had?
How is it not turning up in the washing machine?
Have?
Are you not washing your money using it in the dryer?
Like that's a good point, maybe they had.
Maybe it's just really clean money.
It's really crazy on a different level. That's good, thank you. I don't come out with the sugar.
Oh god, that's great.
Thank you so quick.
She's out of his book.
I'm not normally the funny ones.
Take it go.
I'll take it and run, babe.
I've got money in from ash who said seven to eleven has struck again. This has to be the most I've ever saved so far. My fiance and I share a seven eleven account, so we can bounce off the fuel lock based on the areas that we're in, because you know, sometimes more regional areas maybe it's a little cheaper. So they share the account and they're saving all the dollars that they can in the lead up to their wedding in September. And she saved thirteen dollars just by
locking in the fuel. Oh amazing. It's good, well done. It's very good start, very good start. Indeed. Then I've got one from Amanda who said I rode into the city for work on my husband's e by last week and saved myself a ten dollars sixty public transport fee and I got two hours worth of exercise out of it. Very good. Those things are so good, the electric ones, and you.
Can publicly hire. You don't know the app, you just jump one for me to be I've done it. Instilettos. It's amazing.
That is excludin, there is footage, is there really finance.
It's good. It's really good.
It's easy, and it's so good for the environment too. I feel as well just getting around and any wins there, yeah, well done, excellent on Amanda. And then lastly I have money Win from Kurra who said money Win, I finally cracked a thousand dollars cash back in my shop back account. And that's for all the people who say the little things don't add up because you know how sometimes you get like fifty cents back or a couple of dollars. She's cracked a grand and that is extremely impressive.
That impressive.
Yeah, But Maria, we when we have people come on, we say, do you have a money win or perhaps a money confession that you could share with us for the week.
Well, okay, I'm going to start this on a note. I'm gonna just you know, marder myself a little bit here, and I'm going to give you a money loss, a bit of a learning we love because hopefully this helps somebody else win. Okay by sharing this love it. I you know, when I realized I'm coming on the podcast, I thought, you know, think about money, thinking about finances. I went into my subscriptions and I'm like, how much stuff am I paying for that I don't need to? Turns out, Raya.
You've heard a committed relationship.
You guys had my girlfriend on this podcast a couple of days ago. So I have a woman, and yet I've been paying for a dating app that I don't use.
Hate.
I hate that guitar Tuna.
Guys, do you play guitar?
I have not, so much plucked a string. I bought a guitar in twenty twenty one, and so that was my lockdown. Like lost, we all had a lockdown crisis. Mine was totally I'm gonna learn to play guitar ag with some country music. Didn't pluck a string, had been paying for tuning out for a three years. I don't want to think about how much money I poured into it. So if you're listening, this was me sacrificing my mind, you know it's a money loss. This is my story.
I hope it helps somebody else by sharing, so.
I think I will already I'm like, I can't wait until we're out of the studio so I can quickly check what.
I If we subscribed, let us say.
That the most obscure thing you've ever subscribed to and realized is because guitar tune is pretty up there.
Wait a minute, you all look at me like we just you don't believe I could play the guitar with the country due everyone's eyes wide and listening, and I'm like, maybe I played tuning.
A friend's guitars. What I thought surely.
Minelated a thick layer of dust, actually got rid of it. Last year, So did you.
Tune it at least? No, I didn't my dad.
And my dad I worked this out. Just didn't happen for me. Nothing really, the guitar thing didn't take off. So sure you can't see me opening for Taylor Swift anytime soon.
Oh that's the only reason I would have walked.
One day.
Maybe one day.
Have you ever seen like the hot drummer, like the hot girls who played the drums and then like the hot like guys. Yeah, it's like in what diluted parallel universe, and I'll be one of those hot guitar girls. It has not happened, but who knows.
I you know completely. I'm exactly saying. When I go to like gigs and stuff, I'm like, I could be like this, I could feel like this. I never touch a single instrument in my life.
Not a musical bone in your body.
No, not a single one. Do you know what your.
Body is made up off? Though I was gonna say broke bones, but savvy money saving bones.
You had your money laundering, and now.
It was like, I can be funny again, confident Tay, and I tried to give you one.
I am grateful.
I am trying I loved it.
Honestly, you can try again because we can go three for three, Jess. I do have some broke tips for you guys. We have one from the community, one from myself, and then hopefully Maria. If you have one, no pressure, feel free to shear walls at the end. So the first one comes from Abby who says, roast left veggies that are going bad and blend with a can of crushed slash popped tomatoes to make pizza slash pasta sauce. Add some dried herbs make it even better, but not
necessary if you don't have them. That is us something I had never thought of before.
Also, good kids, and you want to sneak veggies in I've heard that that's a very popular lack. Oh my god, there's fifteen vegetables you'd never know.
Totally just pulse them into oblivion.
So it doesn't resemble a vegetable anyway.
Yeah, that's pretty good and also money saving. So I usually just chuck those things in the garden or like whatever, but in the garden to compost them, to compost them exactly, But instead you make yourself a lovely pasta sauce or pizza sauce gorgeat pretty good in My one for this week actually came from a very good friend of mine, maybe my girlfriend, I can't say. But basically, if you go to the markets as things are closing up, you can either get things for very cheap or for free.
Like a weekend market like a Camberwell market, like.
A Campwell market, or even just like I don't know, I haven't tried it at a Prayer market. I feel like it's probably going to be a little bit for those listening and if you don't know Prayer and it's a little i would say more expensive pot part of Melbourne, try it there, I mean, go for it. But yes, those little like pop up markets or just like any
kind of like food stalls, food trucks, that kind of thing. Yeah, people are usually giving things away for free at the very end when they're going to chuck them out anyway.
Yeah, like I did the Hunter Markets, which is a fashion market here in Melbourne, and there was a girl at the store next to me who had like very expensive stuff and the market's like four or five hours whatever, and by the end of it, she literally just had a tub that she put on the floor and said take it as free because she said she didn't want to take it home, and so I feel like you're totally right, Like sometimes people are like, well, better some money than no money.
Totally, that's really good. What was it like.
In the box? Yeah, clothes. I was selling my clothes. I did not need more clothes.
That's incredible. Yeah, Maria. Do you happen to have a broke tip to share?
Well?
I do, But you know what, I originally my mind went to like a really boring place. I'm going to two Okay, so but one's kind of like I know, but one's kind of like cool and fun and whatever. But the first one is I try and trick myself with my budgeting spread sheet because everything's like automatically formulated, so like as say invoice is coming, I work for myself. You know, you could do this with your income if
you're a salaried employee. I actually change the formulas to make sure I'm putting more away for tax and super that I'm meant to. So then I have a certain amount that I'm allowed to play with, and I budget very strictly, and then at the end of the end of financial year, I'm left with like a little bonus and I'm like, oh.
That is it's like a fake free month.
So it's like a fake because I've tricked myself. But once this spreadsheet is said, I don't really look outside. And then my other tip is one of my best friends, and you know, you do this with a friend or someone you trust. But every six months, gather up clothes that maybe you've just worn on high rotation and swap it wardrobes off with a friend so that you're sort of like getting a little bit, you know, just don't buy things so much if it ends up in landfill
and clothes, you know, pre loved clothes. You can get good wear out of your mates wardrobes, families wardrobes, just wardrobe swap. So that's really good.
I've seen little wardrobes swap parties and I always think that looks so fun.
And then just keep track, like if you're like me type a, like i'd keep like an Excel spreadsheet, you know, but if you want a bag, but it's just fun to you know, mix it up and try and experiment with your style.
That's so much a good idea. I really like that that actually you need more clothes.
I need more. It does require you to part with some O.
Yes, true, I want to break even clothes. Okay, let's go to a really quick break. But on the flip side, we're going to talk about rainbow washing workplaces, don't go anywhere.
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The Sheese on the Money Team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show.
Now.
Oh, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hey, team, So.
Like, I've got a really curly one for you, right, I work for a smaller business and I would say that overall they're not very supportive of LGBTQIA plus communities.
But what really annoys me is that when pride comes along suddenly they pretend that they care, and they do that by pushing us, as in like the staff, into donating to these causes so they can talk about it on their social media and it makes them look super generous, but like I know for a fact, they're donating nothing, So the whole thing seems really insincere, and I feel quite pressured to take part. And it's not that I wouldn't donate, it's just that I don't want my job
to be telling me that I have to donate. Anyway, I would like to bring this up with them politely. I don't really know how to do that, and I don't know if I should.
Bring it up at all.
I'm going to be honest because I find this whole conversation super uncomfortable. Anyway, I'd love to know what you thought and if you have any advice.
Okay, thanks by you.
I feel like this is very on brand with what we were saying earlier about International Women's Day. Are kind of the same.
True the cupcakes and could perform. Do you know what it takes me back to? It takes me back to twenty twenty, the Black Lives Matter movement and the Black Square, the Black Square and brands who have never engaged a person of color in front of the lens, behind the lens. All of a sudden, Yeah, there's a black square and no action to follow. Yeah, it takes me back to that. How yuck. It just that listening to that just made me want to, like my skin crawl a little bit. Now people still do that.
It's really unfortunate, I think because the reason that I think these brands do it is they've cottoned onto the fact that, particularly our generation generations are like the up and coming generations, brands and companies that align with our ethics are incredibly important to us. It's like, I am not buying for a company that goes against my personal
moral code or my moral compass right. So they've realized that to get people's dollars, they need to align to people, and they need to publicly be seen to be doing good. And logically, the solution there is for that company to do social good, to support causes, to support employees who may or may not be members of the LGBTQA plus community.
Employees are people too, And I think that there's also the element, as our listener is saying, you feeling really uncomfortable about being put in a position where you don't want to look like the bad guy by saying I don't want to donate to this cause, which may not be because you don't support and believe in that cause, but you might want to work or advocate in your
own way outside of the workplace. And I think that it's particularly hard because as an employee, I think sometimes you can feel like you're representative of this brand, especially if they're wanting to waive their banner on Instagram and be like look at us, like go Pride, But then behind the scenes, they're really not supporting the people who need and want that support, and that's the whole point.
And so I feel like it's just this whole, big, uncomfortable thing for these employees and I don't know how you bring that up necessarily, And it's such a rock and a hard place because on one hand, I want to be like no, like tell them that that's not okay, advocate for yourself. But also we know that if they're not supportive to begin with, maybe they're not going to be receptive.
That's very good point. I don't know, like I think so the workplace they currently work in. If anyone this workplace is listening, tune out. I'm kidd I'm not going to say anything bad, but I know that for Pride months, I think it was last year or the year before, we weren't doing anything. We do have a whole social committee that's dedicated to things like this, and so I was like, what the hell's going on? It's like, was
it June? And I was like, you know, can I just kind of had a conversation with the head of the social committee. And if your workplace doesn't have a social committee, I know that's quite rare. Maybe someone in charge, someone who has the power to be making bigger decisions, maybe have a chat with them. But what I did was I basically said I would like to be seeing things happen for this kind of you know, like a
Pride month or maybe Mardi Gras, things like that. Love these things to be celebrated in the workplace to make me feel a little bit more I don't know, welcome. But also I know it's a little bit awkward, but just maybe broach it in a way that's like, hey, it would be really cool if we just maybe did some things year round. Let's have a flag a flat, let's put a flag up or something, you know, nothing ictic, but just to make people who may or may not
be part of that community feel welcome. And I don't know it can be something as small as that, but yeah, that really is a tough one.
Yeah, Oh, I just think you know, for businesses, what I think what astounds me about that is that this person from your community sounds like, you know, they're really feeling like their business does not actually get behind supporting these certain communities, which to me feels really strange in this day and age twenty two. It feels really strange because of what you've said. Unfortunately, a lot of businesses
are getting around it for commercial reasons. But for the most part, what I think has happened after the big lockdowns in twenty twenty is there was a bit of a digital revolution and now the people with a voice. It's not just reserved for people in power traditional media. It's like anyone with an Internet connection can speak up and what they say gains traction. And so now people that you haven't heard from, say like people from the queer community or women, and it's just we get to
speak and say what we need. So it's astounding to me that this business isn't sincere in their efforts, and your listener who's written in, they sound like they're really struggling with that dissonance of It's not that they don't want to support the cause, but I just can't get behind this performatively, and I think that's fair. So when I worked in HR, so in a past life, I
want to go front HR. And it reminds me of myself back then because I worked in a male dominated industry and I remember back then like of always been very passionate about diversity and inclusion, and I wanted to champion you know, what are we doing for general equality in the space you guys? And I remember bringing it up with the manager of mine and she allowed me to create and host and lead an event celebrating women in the industry and their stories and it was amazing.
But what was uncomfortable for me was dissonance between that and like things culturally that were actually not right, like you know, senior female leaders in the business not wanting to share that they had kids and not feeling supported and it sounds like, you know, you put your money
with your mouth, is they're not doing it. I saw it not happening, and so I'm with you, Beck, I think, really, you know, you have every right to speak up, and whether you're talking to your HR rep or you're talking to your boss, I'm very like you catch more flies with honey than vinegars. I'd say, hey, it's so great that you know you're doing this thing around Pride or International Women's Day, but that there are three hundred and sixty four other days in the calendar years, So what
else are we doing? So you know, put it to them, keep everything in writing, take it from a hr gal,
everything in writing. But you know, I would even then try and pitch them ideas, like take things to them, because then you know, if they're really not you know, they don't want to create an employee resource group after you've suggested it, they don't want to support local charities, then if you have the means I recognize in this economy, it's a privilege to be able to do this work out, whether you know with your moral compass, is this a place.
You want to be totally?
You know, like it just sounds like from the start when you said they don't support the communities, like I just you know, if that's something you believe in, like do you want to be there and if you can afford to, Maybe it doesn't align culturally.
Totally, And I guess that goes for like every you know, company's kind of like core values. If they don't align with yours, are you comfortable working there? And if you are cool? If not, maybe explore your options again, as you say, Maria, if you have the capacity to, if you have the resources, you know, all that kind of stuff. I think that's very, very good advice.
I was just gonna say before we move on the last aspect. I guess of the listener question was, you know, what do I do about the financial side? Like they want me to donate, I don't really want you it doesn't align with my morals. I feel like if you want to get out a jail free card, it's really easy to say, hey, I love and support this cause myself. I actually, you know, work actively to support outside of the workplace, So I'm going to continue to do what
I'm doing. Love that you guys are raising funds, you know, would be awesome if the company could maybe match or something like that. I think don't feel bad for not participating through your workplace because everybody can support a cause and advocate for a cause. And even if you're not putting funds behind that, you can spread awareness on your social media. You can talk to your friends and family
about it. There's lots you can do to support something that's important to you that doesn't require you to cough up, particularly through your workplace if it is, as you say, making you super uncomfortable, because it's not your job to be the post a child for them.
Yes, I love that advice, and it doesn't mean that you are not behind that cause. That does not have to be a medium you choose. And I think people feel pressure, you know, when it comes to advocacy or supporting causes. People feel pressure to do it in the most visible way, in the most you know. Sometimes advocacy is something as simple as being in your own circles of influence, being at the dinner table with your parents and saying, hang on, that's not an appropriate thing to say.
We don't say that anymore. Sometimes that's enough. It's not about saying, hey, this is a check that I just put down with this cause in front of everybody, especially when it doesn't align. I think that's great.
Yes, that's so true. Support and advocacy doesn't come in one form. It can come in many different forms, and it can start from within. So yeah, I absolutely love that. But on that, are we ready for a juicy juicy DM Yeah, absolutely, we are okay. So this week's DM our listener writes in and says, hey team. So I've
just turned thirty five and feeling deflated. My friends from school have followed the typical path of quote unquote, get a stable and good job, meet their life partner, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have kids, end quote, and so it goes on. My path is totally different. I have changed the industry I work in multiple times, gone back to UNI at twenty nine, recently broke up with my partner I thought I would marry. I have only
two kne savings as I have prioritized travel. I can barely afford my rent, let alone dream of owning a property. I feel like I've done everything wrong. I go out with my friends and they arrive in their nice cars and beautiful clothes slash accessories whilst I'm catching public transport and in an outfit I have worn twenty times before. With them, they make comments about me living like I'm in my twenties, and it hurts. I just can't relate to them at all. There is so much pressure to
be personally and financially set up at this age. Any advice on how to deal.
With these feelings.
Oh and it's a love heart and one of those you know those emojis with the the eyes that are looking up. There's like a bit of a glisten.
Yeah, so that makes it.
I guess I could just shows. Yeah, I totally get that. Actually, as I'm reading that, I'm like, that sounds like a good life, you know, like coming from I think my friends and I it's probably a different lifestyle. My friends and I are all kind of on the same page. No one's really partnered up like some of us are,
but no one's married. No one's having kids. Literally, one of my not to brag, one of many friends have one child, one other on the way, and she's still kind of coming to pubs and going to gigs and all this kind of stuff. So it really just sounds like the people you're surrounding yourself with the main not an issue. No one's way of living is an issue. But the fact that you're feeling like this, it's probably
in the environment you're in. Because from reading that, and I'm sure reading that to you guys as well, I'm like, fun, fun, fun, you for getting out of a relationship you.
Don't want to be in.
Good for you for going traveling, good for you.
Good for you.
I'm loving it. I'm loving It's a good point.
That's such a good point. And you know what, I'm thirty one and a lot of my friends are also in a similar place in life, but we're all on very different parts. And I remember my best friend and I were just chatting about this. We were actually talking about this in the context of romantic relationships, but I think this applies to life choices with finances and work
as well. We were saying, how you know there's no one like you know, people talk about partners like when't you meet the Look, this is just my personal views, so but you know, you meet the one, or you end up in your dream job or this or that. It's like, there's actually just paths that you can take certain relationships. Your life will look different depending on the choices that you make, things that you do with your finances, if you choose to buy a house, if you choose
to go off and travel. But ultimately, these are just paths based on choices and decisions that you've made, and it's not inherently good or bad. There just are and you're right, it's for no one to judge. You did what felt right for you. This is what your life is look like. Maybe it doesn't align anymore with what your maids are doing, but there's nothing wrong with it totally, and it's never too late to choose a different path.
So it sounds like this person's kind of going well, maybe you're thinking more about wanting to have more savings and to change your financial situation, and kudos to you. That's amazing. But also I don't think. I don't without knowing what this person's friends are like and not wanting to make any assumptions. It could be that maybe they're concerned about your financial situation and that's just coming from
them imposing their ideas of you should be doing. But also it's they shouldn't be making you feel bad, like I think with my mates, we're all in different financial places and I cannot imagine a world where we'd ever make one of us feel bad for not being able to afford doing something. Or you should be able to talk to your friends about it. I hope you'd be able to say, hey, it makes me feel this way when you say this, and yeah, that's not where I'm at so if you could just be sensitive.
Yeah, like maybe they don't realize and the yeah, I think there could also be an element of like wistfulness. We spoke to Michelle Battersby a little while ago and we were chatting about, you know, similarly, people in different
life stages, and it was really interesting. She raised such a good point in that you know, the people who have kids, they might actually be envious of your lifestyle because I think with any of the different paths that you can or might choose, there's pros and cons, like nobody is living the perfect life, no matter how good it looks from the outside. There is always an up and a down. And I think you know, people with kids, or people who are in a better financial situation, maybe
they're working really long days. If they've got children, it can be really hard to get out and about because you've got someone that you can't live by themselves. Depending on how old they are, there's elements that it might be maybe they want to be living life like they did in their twenties, so they could almost be like a little bit of envy there, which is something to consider.
But I think more than anything, like what you were saying, Maria, Like, if you are unhappy, you can change, Like you can start saving more money, you can start pursuing different things, you could change careers, like there are all of these options available to you. The world is truly your oyster. But if you're happy the way you are, that is also so valid and so fine. And we talk a lot about on the pod, like we draw the comparison between you and Ibec, Like I really want to buy
a house. It is such a high priority to me, and I've worked incredibly hard and sacrificed a lot to get there. You could not care less, like I want to sit in the grass. I want to live my best life. I want to just enjoy and spend my money and do what I want, which is also completely fine and valid and a great choice to make. And it's those two things can exist in the same space and both be perfectly okay, good choices for each of us. And so I think, like there's also the element of
it can be hard. I know that in this day and age, comparison culture is such a big thing, and there's a lot of pressure put on us to have the nice cars, have the nice clothes. You can feel left out or not as good because you don't have those quote unquote valuable things. But I think that if you can step outside of that and reflect on are you happy with where you are? And if you are, you're doing everything right, and if you're not, you can make changes to get to where you want to be.
I feel like that's the crux of what I would say.
Yeah, I think I agree. Can I share something like what not to do in this situation?
Ye?
Because so I've actually been in the situation before. When I was twenty six, I was I think at that point i'd been in a relationship with the most beautiful man for like four to five years, and he was a little bit older than me. And at that point I was actually broke and in five figures of dead because when I was twenty one, I had just finished UNI.
I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I just worked in retail for two years, and honestly, I was just living paycheck to paycheck, like working minimum wage, just to fund my lifestyle like going out on the weekends or whatever. And then I decided to go back to Unie, so broke Unie student life. And my ex was a little bit older than me and was working full time at a great job, and all of our shared friends were in a similar position. So I was around people who were able to travel and do things
and have things. And we're starting to move out, and we're starting to buy their own cars and do all this stuff, and I couldn't afford to do anything. And I remembered this, like, when I heard this, DM, I was like, I have been there. I felt like I didn't belong in those circles. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be around them. And that's my own stuff. I was projecting, you know, onto myself. And but what I will say is my ex and those people never
once made me feel bad about it. There was never snider from about my financial situation or things like that, which I really appreciated. But because I was so stuck in that run, I ended up trying to keep up with a lifestyle that wasn't aligned to me on a credit card, and I ended up in really, really shitty debt, and it took me a while to pay that off, and then, you know, get to the position that I'm
in now. And what I really wouldn't wish for people is to internalize somebody else's ideas of what their life is meant to be, and then you put yourself in a position that's even worse off. Like if this is where you're at, you know, own that, like you, Like you said, there are pros and cons to every path
we choose. Own it. Be happy, but don't put yourself in a position where you're set back because you're trying to buy someone else's perception of you being more well off and successful than you are.
And success is so subjective.
It's perception, Like we're trying to buy and keep up with perception. Just got to work on your own.
Yeah, yeah, I completely agree, I completely agree. My last thing I do want to say is that this listener mentioned that they've changed industries a few times, and in the famous words of I think it might be Brene Brown or someone that Brene Brown interviewed recently, but some recent it was a little while ago, but she said something to the effect of, sometimes we don't have passions, Sometimes we just have curiosities. And that could mean that
you change your curiosity a million times. That could Like myself, I've I've had like thirty different jobs, and I'm I don't think I'm particularly passionate about one single thing. I am instead curious about many things, and I will forever be do you know what I mean? I am so sorry if I've misquoted Brene Brown. I don't know exactly where I got this information from. Stuck with me.
I made it up.
I kind of made it.
Maybe it was me.
Actually quite well, I'm so wise. Let's see what the community said. So we asked the community, can you relate to this person? Fifty one percent of you said yes, big time. That's really good to know that, like literally half of us, one in two of us like yeah, I'm literally there. Forty times of you said not really, that's fair. And then we asked you for pressure to
achieve certain things by particular ages slash timelines. Eighty one percent of you said yes, it's the worst, and then nineteen percent said no, I don't let that stuff get to me.
Do you, guys, ever, reflect on the timeline you gave yourself when you were young? Because I wrote so vividly, remember I was like, great, I'm going to graduate high school at eighteen. I'm going to meet the love of my life, be married probably by twenty one. Yeah, a couple of kids, I would say, maybe be done by like twenty eight, twenty nine, and by the time I turned thirty, like, we're all set up. We've got the house, we've got the kids, we probably have a couple of cats.
I'm turning thirty this year and I have none of those things. I have the love of my life, but I don't.
Have a house. Loss. And what's it been. It's been an adventure.
It's exactly right, because.
I've raised this is so great. When I was eighteen, mine was. I actually wrote it in a journal entry, and I'll it's worse. It's not just a writing. I drew a picture to a company I can't so I wrote that I was going to be and it was written like poetry. It was like twenty five year old psychologist, she sits by the window, drinking tea, watching the rain on her day off.
Its manifesting. I kind of love it.
None of it happened. But I said that I was gonna have private practice. Did you pictured myself with like a dog on the sitting on the couch and we were going to be married, first child on dome. Don't have the door marriage to the dog.
Sorry, I.
Did not try and manifest being married to a dog, it was married to a man, surprise him quick. It's just so much of it, Like you know, we have these stories and timelines, and the best thing is that if you wed yourself to that and you chase it, you know you might be you know, very likely disappointed. But if you open yourself up and you're kind of like, hey, this would be nice if it doesn't happen, I'm open for the adventure and staying curious. Which that word is
amazing that you said. I think life just opens up in a bigger and better way than you can imagine. My life is so different and it's better than anything I could have conceived for myself, and only because they just took risks and it was like, well this doesn't work, I'll try something else. This doesn't work, I'll try something else. Yeah, which is it sounds like what that last listener was doing. So you're on the right track.
Yeah, totally personally loving your lifestyle, baby girl.
Okay.
Then we asked you, guys, do you find it hard to spend time with people who are in a completely different life stage to you? Sixty six percent of you said, yeah, we just can't relate to each other. Thirty four percent of you said no, I haven't found this affects my relationships fair enough, and then we asked you to give us your two cents. One listener said, finding people in a similar boat to you that value similar things helps. That's so true. That really does help, but it's not essential.
I suppose if, like you know, with us, we're saying here that we've had those relationships where you are at different life stages, but no one makes anyone feel bad for that. One listener said, got to find friends who value the same stuff. Some friends will never get the life pass, but it's not wrong. Another listener said, get new friends. Your experience is so normal. Don't let then make you feel less. And I can kind of, I mean,
I don't know, like your friendship dynamics. Maybe you can just have a chat with them and be like, hey, you make me feel really sad. But maybe you need to look for people who will be kinder to you. That's up to you. Another listener said, they may wish for your life and what you have experienced, embrace it, which.
Is what you were saying. Yes, so true.
Another listener said, what's your why? Remember what your goals are and how you're achieving them, which I think is really nice because I think that we don't. Sometimes we end up in a on a path or in a life stage and we kind of are like, oh, I feel really bad about this, but like, why did you
get there? What were the things that you know? Some people actually don't have a choice, and that's you know, it's very privileged to me to say, but some people are like, oh, because I made decisions along the way that made me very very happy, and they made me these friends, and they made me this job, and they made me this whatever. So find out what your why is. And honestly, it really doesn't sound like you're living a life that is anything to be ashamed of.
Not at all.
No, No, not at all.
And lastly, one listener said, everyone has their own path. Be with friends who don't judge you for it. Great. I think that's just fundamentally Yeah, that's totally, totally. Absolutely, just know you're doing a great job. Don't feel bad about it. I want to live your life persol.
Good for you and good for you for identifying you want something different for yourself. Now's the time. Go get it.
Absolutely, go get a girl naps for that.
What a perfect place to leave it.
Yeah, I think so. Thank you so much, Maria. We have loved having you on. This has been such a great emphysode.
I've loved being on. I feel like we've just laughed and talked about stage wisdom and embarrassing things in our past. So I will try and find a picture of my diary entry in the picture and I'll send it to you guys.
Please do put that on the stories. And if people want to find you, where can I find you?
Oh God, it's not keep that in yeah, because I love If you want to find me, you can find me on MARIEA. Taylor on Instagram, on I have TikTok. It's my more unhinged platform, perfect podcast, a book. Go have a look, have a Google, and don't read the mail articles because they're silly.
Amen.
Love that.
Thank you so much again, Maria. You guys have a great weekend and we will see you next week.
Bye bye, guys.
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