How I've Made It Work as a Single Mum by Choice

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast and millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money daries where we get to talk with one of our incredibles. She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this, Dear, She's on the Money. Growing up, I thought I was terrible with maths and money, but my

Thank you.

This is so exciting. I just love the idea that you're like, no, no, no, I want to be a mum and it's gonna happen. I have so many questions, but before we get there, if I asked you to give your money habits a grade from A three to F, what would you grade them?

You know, it's interesting. I've really thought about this because I often find myself disagreeing with the other money diers on the podcast, and I think women, we're so hard

Yeah that's so nice that you're able to reflect on that.

Yeah, it's one of those things. I think we feel so different. But if you can take that emotion out and actually look at what you're doing, there's just actually you know so much there.

So we're going to give you the credit. You're a b I love that money diarist. My face question to ask people is about their money story. So let's dive in. Can you tell me a bit more about your money story?

Sure? So, growing up, I always felt like we didn't have much money. My parents immigrated to Australia, and you know, I had these memories of growing grocery shopping with my mom and her checking the price tags and buying things when they're on special. And I feel like I came from a household where if you lost your jumper or your hat, you didn't get a new one, you just went without it. And so I think that's really impacted

I totally get that. In fact, that's triggered a memory for me. Actually when you said you lost your jumper or your heart, like you don't get a new one like that, I'm assuming for you it's maybe the same story, Like we're talking about school uniform. Yeah, yes, yeah, Like I remember my mum being like, right, well, you won't be able to go outside and play because I'm not

And you don't realize it at the time.

Right, of course not, But now I look at it, I'm like, wait what And.

I remember going to the secondhand uniform shop as well to buy all of our uniforms.

Oh so did we and like genius from mum to be honest, because like it's the same thing, but that feeling of being like, oh it's not you like, oh I get.

It, but it's good because it makes me feel I think I, because of that, quite conscious of money and you know, always looking for second hand items, like you know, your mum was a great role model in that respect, you know, learning from her. So it's been good. Obviously, once I started working and earning money, it's always great.

The whole year would have been so special.

It was unreal. I mean, it was backpacking, it.

Was okay, but like that doesn't change it. It's still so special.

One hundred percent. And it's interesting because sometimes I go, oh, god, thirty K, wouldn't that be a great start for a house deposit, but I wouldn't take that traveling year away at all, Like it was just so special.

I love that. So now wary, you're at what does that look like?

So after traveling and working, I kind of got into my mid thirties and on and off dating and not really having much success in that department, and I kind of thought to myself, when I get to thirty seven, it's time to start thinking about freezing your eggs. And so I started doing a person I like to do a lot of research before I actually make my decision.

I think you and I are on the same page and picking up similar vibes. I like this, I love this.

So I kind of got to thirty seven, I was like, oh, I'm not sure. Yeah, let's just do research. And so I kind of went, oh, I don't know, actually that freezing my eggs isn't the best option for me from my understanding. You know, it can be a great option to have, especially in your younger years, but the longer your eggs are frozen, they're less viable. They can become over time, the dethoring process can be hard on them, and unfertilized eggs are not necessarily as hardy as fertilized embryos.

You feel a lot of dating pressure? Just like, oh, I'm trying to find the right person, and like this just isn't fitting.

Like, and I see so many people making decisions that I think I don't feel comfortable with where I don't you know, if I marry someone, I want to be absolutely one hundred percent in love and I don't want to have that pressure of wanting to have kids so quickly hitting that pressure on it. Yeah. Yeah, So I got to thirty eight and I started looking at IVF with an anonymous doner, and again be come was like, oh god, this is such a big step.

A massive step, so exciting but also so terrifying, like, oh my gosh, this could really happen.

I'd never dreamt of doing it on my own. My dream was to do it with somebody else. Of course, you know, as a little kid, that's what you want, that's the dream. So it was quite a bit of a shift in my mindset to start thinking along this pathway. But I just thought, you know what, let's just make an appointment with a fertility specialist and go down that pathway.

You can always say no, you can always say no later.

One hundred I'm just gathering information. That's all I'm doing at this point, right. It's one step at a time. And I actually made appointments to fertility specialists based on recommendations, which I actually would recommend because the first person I saw I did not like, and it was someone that everyone had raved about.

Isn't that frustrating when you're like, why does everybody like this?

I know, but it's good because then it's like, you know what, it's such a personal thing. You want to be able to ask those silly and dumb questions and feel like the specialist has the time for.

You to do that one hundred percent.

And so after that then I just kind of started, you know, meeting with the specialist and she'd send me to do some tests, like a blood test, nothing too crazy, and it kind of just the more I was in it and thinking about it, the more it just felt more comfortable and more the right thing for me to do.

And you were like, I'm on this path. I was just looking at the path, but I just woke up and I think I'm actually on the.

Path way down it.

Yeah, like I'm halfway down it and I actually don't want to turn around.

It's good. And I went, yeah, I'm doing it.

Oh, that's so exciting.

I had been saving, right, so, like it wasn't and I knew IVF was expenses. So the whole time I'm meeting with the specialist, it's not like really quick. You know, there might be a month or two apart. So I'm like going, okay, I need to hit go into my hardcore savings goal and start really saving because it is expensive. So I was doing all of that knowing that you know, there's sure anyone who's gone through IVF nos, but there's

Oh I was about to ask, Okay, so how do you pick an anonymous donor? Because I am so pervy, like girl, I need to know, like do you get to go like shopping for your baby daddy that look quiet?

Yeah? Absolutely, So you can go down in Australia to well, I guess it's different. Maybe each state is as well different. I'm in New South Wales. But in Australia you've got two options. You can go an international route. So there's American donors and there are lots of them. So Americans get paid to donate, so there's often lots of options.

Yeah, and are you allowed to use that in Australia.

You can Yeah. Wow, Australian clinics have access to the database in America and so you can get all this information about the donors. You obviously no identifying information. It's all anonymous.

Yeah, of course I had no idea, Like I genuinely just thought, okay, like we're an island in the middle of nowhere. Surely we would only have access to Australian donors. And like you hear so much about like I don't know, I hear so much about like surrogacy journeys, because you obviously can't pay asarig in Australia. It can in America anyway. It's a very complex space, so I just assumed that maybe you couldn't access American donors. How interesting.

Yeah, and there's a lot of choice if you go down that pathway. It's a little bit more expensive because obviously you have to pay for the transportation to Australia.

What type of cost that to you know, I can't.

Remember because I didn't go down this pathway. It would be a couple of hundred I think maybe, or even in the thousand. I can't quite remember it.

But it's not like tens of thousands of dollars down that route.

No, Yeah, so I went down the Australian donor route, which is far less options because in Australia to donate your eggs or sperm, it is all altruistic, so you don't get anything in return.

There's something that I like about that though, and you mentioned before. We haven't gotten super into it, but like you mentioned before, I work for nonprofits. I'm happy to earn less money because I just feel like that fits your vibe more right.

Yeah, I don't know, it just felt more comfortable for me.

I like the idea that they wanted that for you, not for financial gain for them. That's so kind. Yeah I get it, I get it.

Yeah absolutely so yeah, but I had like there was five options, so in America they'd be I think on their database they can be like one hundred or.

So, which also I think can be overwhelming analysis paralysis. It's like investing, like how do you pick an ETF, how do you pick a sperm donor?

Like?

Same right, So.

I wanted my baby to look like me, so I went with the same ethnicity as a way of breaking me down totally. And then from there it was really the health information that you get that was important to me. You actually get the health of the person donating their immediate family as well.

Oh that's so perfect.

So any type of illnesses or conditions that they have is kind of listed, which is really interesting.

So also so controlled, Like so many people don't even get that with the person that they literally have picked to have a child with. They like, oh, let's just have a baby, and then later they're like, oh, I didn't know you had health condition.

I know, Well, I've got nothing else to go on, and so I was like, for me, that's the important thing. And then all the other information, like me can get basic information like hair color, eye color. There's some self reporting stuff like how would people describe you? But I was very conscious that with self reporting, you know, how you describe yourself might be very different to how other people describe you. So I was like, no, medical, let's go on the medical and let's then just see the

Oh that is so cool. I love this. What's the next step in the process. So you pick your donor, you have to go through an IVF process, Like, yeah.

It actually all up took me a year to go through this whole process, but that was a lot just with me and me taking my time to go through everything and keep saving money. You can actually go through it much quicker if the donor is available now since COVID. It might be tricky because there's less donor recruitment since COVID.

I think, yeah, okay, And when you say the year, is that from you starting the journey to falling pregnant or is that you starting the journey to having a baby falling pregnant.

My first appointment was in January, and then I decided to officially start the whole IVF process the following January.

Yeah cool, Oh my god.

So I had a whole year of like doing tests and seeing everything is and picking the donor and saving my money. And then also an important consideration which I'm sure anyone who has gone through IVF would know, but when you are looking at your funds, it's so expensive. And I had to really sit with myself and go, Okay, how many rounds can I do? Because you know, I'm going through IVF, not because I think I have fertility.

Issues, but because that's how I'm going to get pregnant.

Yeah, one hundred percent. And I can see how you go through this process and it's not successful. You go, Okay, well I'm going to try again. But it's good to have kind of a cap in mind of how much money you have available for this, because you could get yourself into debt so easily just keeping on going and going and going.

It's one of those things that is quite interesting as well, because as women, we've spent a majority of our lives trying not to get pregnant, and then all of a sudden, you're going down this route of IVF and it's not because you were struggling to fall pregnant. It was because

So I ended up having to do two egg collections, and I was very lucky. My first transfer worked.

Oh I got a sticky baby from the stud No, that's so special.

It's very good. So all up, it cost me about thirty five thousand dollars. I did get some back from Medicare, and I think I was out of pocket about twenty three thousand dollars.

Hey, that's pretty good. That's a lot. And I won't say cheaper because it's still a lot of money. But it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I don't know why, but I just thought it would be way more expensive because like the egg collection rounds, like in Australia can be anywhere from six thousand to ten thousand dollars around, Like that's quite expensive.

And then do you get some of that medicare rebate back?

Yeah, and that's important. So then once you've done your egg collections, then is it the fertility clinic that you did the egg collections that managed the donusperm and kind of made a little embryo.

Absolutely. Yes, it's all in house, which makes it easier.

Oh and then they made your little m baby and then you had a transferred day and got your little m baby and then they were sticky, and.

Then you have an anxious two week wait while you're like, oh my gosh, analyzing everything in your body.

Yeah. Absolutely, and I'm sure that you were stressed out of your brain one, because that's a stressful process irrespective of the financials, right, Like that's so scary because the second you have it transferred, you're like, well, I'm pregnant until proven otherwise, aren't I.

And then you're trying not to stress because you know what's stressed us to the body, but it's so hard not to.

Oh, I'm so glad that it worked the first round.

For you know, I was very lucky that first transfer because you can hear it, you can take a while. And the other thing I was going to say, obviously, being doing this on my own, I have to go through a private clinic. But now if you are in a couple or you have a known donor, you can actually do it through the public system and it will only cost you one thousand dollars. What it's a massive, massive difference.

Oh my god. I mean, I'm glad that you got the care and that you were able to kind of like shop around and get the fertility expert that you felt super comfortable, like, and I mean that's the cost of private healthcare, right, Like that's the benefit. But at the same time, like knowing that that's so much more financially viable. Oh, I love that.

I know it's a little bit of a sting, but at the end of the day, I have a beautiful little baby, so I can't complain.

Oh I'm so excited. I adore that for you. So I need to know more because this episode, I think is such a good lesson for a lot of people in our community that you can actually have kids on your own and make it work. So I need to know more about this situation, Like a lot of people might go, I need to earn millions to be able to do that on my own. But what do you do for work? How much money do you earn?

So I work in a not for profit sector and I work with young people who live in residential care essentially if that just means that they don't live at home with their parents. And I work part time at the moment.

Is that because you have a baby?

Yeah? I was working full time. Yeah, so full time. I was earning about I think it was ninety eight thousand and part time. Now I'm earning sixty five.

Oh okay, that's very nice. So you we've gone from ninety eight k to sixty five K. I have to ask all the pervy stuff. I'm so sorry. So sixty five k. How many days a week are you doing?

Three days?

So three days? And then you're singles. It's not like there's somebody at home looking after baby. What does care look like?

So he goes into daycare three days a week?

Yeah, very cool? And what type of cost does that mean for you?

It is expensive. The daycare itself is about one hundred and eighty dollars a day.

Oh my gosh, it's insane, isn't it crazy?

That obviously, Thank god, I get a subsidy and so I actually pay about I think it's forty five a day.

Oh okay, so like forty five bucks a day. It comes out in the wash week. It's an episode recently on daycare and like what it costs, because I think one thing that people don't realize is that you pay out of pocket and then you get a rebate as opposed to you know, it just being forty five bucks a day, which a lot of people are like, oh, that's reasonable, but you actually have to have that one hundred and eighty dollars in your bank account to pay in advance, which is really ick to me.

I know, I know.

Has that changed how you've managed your cash flow?

You know what? I think it probably hasn't. I think it's so I use credit cards to help me with my cash flow. And I'm a big pointscal so I like to maximize as many points as I can. The last couple of international trips I've done have all been on points, so it really works for me. I don't think I would be able to travel otherwise if I'm being honest, because it is tough now for the little one, and he's about to turn two and in a couple of months, so now I'm gonna have to start paying for him or.

You're about to run out of free travel.

For him, I know, So that's a big thing.

Sorry to remind you. Under two, they travel for free.

I just booked it like we're going away next year, and I booked us all on points. So I was like, thank God for points because that really does help me. I put all of my big stuff on credit cards. But I at the start of the year. It's the first time I heard credit cards for like, you know, ten fifteen years, and because I have gone from full time to part time work at the start of the year.

Oh they were.

Yeah, So I bought a brand new car, which is not my intention, but I did it.

But also at that time that made the most sense financially, genuinely.

Absolutely, and I paid it out in full because I had saved that much money.

Iconic, Sorry, that's iconic.

I was thinking about taking out a loan, but then I just looked at the interest I would eventually pay back on it, and I thought, ill, no, I got the money, I think I should do this. But then it's just left me feeling a bit more vulnerable because I decimated my savings and I don't have that fallback anymore. And I had an emergency fund. But when I start of the year, when I couldn't pay back my credit cards, I used all of my emergency fund and it wasn't

I guess I'm really proud of the reflection you're doing on this though, Like you were so aware throughout all of that. That's really cool. Like a lot of people would have buried their head in the sand, but you're like, Nope, I'm going to make it work. This is what I'm going to do. This is how I'm going to do it. Like so many people get to that point and it's kind of like a fork in the road and they can either do what you did and like take charge of it and go because this is actually a really

Yeah, like I do. For me, you know, there's obviously a lot of issues with credit cards, but I normally felt that, you know, I was able to keep on top of it as long as I could pay it off each month. And it's just that first instance where I couldn't do it for a couple of months really freaked me out. I can see how you can easily end up in debt.

That way, spirally, right, Yeah, And it's so easy to do. And I mean, no one gets a credit card with the intention of getting into debt and staying in debt. Like you get a credit card to help with cash flow or to help you build something. And I think that it's just so important to just stay stay woke. I suppose stay aware of what's going on.

It's because I go for the cards that have points. They're often the cards that also have a higher interest rate, which doesn't normally impact me because I pay my credit off.

But when you don't, Yeah, you're like, oh no, so money, Do tell me a bit more. You obviously had the big money goal of saving up and paying for IVF, and then you got a car. What are your big money goals now? What are we currently working towards?

You know what? I think this is probably one of my big issues now is I had such a big savings goal and then when my little boy came along, that just felt like such a big achievement for me. And I, you know, was working part time or I wasn't working for a while and then went back to working part time. And I don't think I've really replaced it with another goal. And I do think that has really impacted my savings. Like how on top of it,

Know, one hundred percent, but you're also not giving yourself credit. You've gone from earning ninety eight grand to sixty five thousand, and yes, there's like a beautiful trade off here where you're getting to work part time, but like there's less cash coming in the door, like there's less that you can actually do.

It is, and everything's gone expensive. I think, yeah, you know, when I think about maybe what I was spending on groceries before, it is one hundred percent doubled, if not more.

A two year old, it's a lot of berries.

I think I need to really think about what goal I want to have, because that does make it a difference for when you have that in your mindset, and it can work towards it.

To motivation one hundred percent, and you can easily compromise, Like if it comes to spending, you know, fifty dollars on something, you're like, no, it really, I'm gonna have a baby, Like I don't even need it. And now

B When I was saving before, I used to use pocketbook, you know, the ant pocketbook.

Yeah, one hundred percent, And that was.

So helpful because I could categorize everything and I was tracking my spend because I had that goal in mind. So I was like, yeah, I'm on this. And then after I had my baby and Pocketbook ended, it stopped and so you can't use that.

Yeah, I was really disappointed.

It was such a good app I loved it, and I think since then, I haven't been as good at tracking my spend. I'm conscious about my money. I'm not spending it Willy Nelly, but I couldn't tell you exactly now how much money I'm spending on my groceries, on my petrol each month. And I think that's something I now need to go and revisit. Yeah.

No, that makes absolute sense. And it's kind of good that you're in that limbo because I feel like that's really relatable. I want you to get out of it, but like lots of people be like, oh my god, I know me too, Like I just don't know what I want. Do I want to buy property? Do I want to go on a be collar, Like I just don't know.

Property is of course a goal, but it just seems so out of reach for me.

Life is currently a season, right, Like and having a small child it's a funny period of your life, right because it's such a privilege to have a small kid, but they're so bloody expensive and you're in that limbo of paying daycare and paying for everything, and life is going to get cheaper once they're at school, yeah, and then it's probably going to get more expensive when he decides to get some expensive teenage hobbies and then maybe he wants to do after school care like activities and

I think I'm going to go back to work full time next year anyway, so that will help too.

So that's so exciting exactly, so ebbs and it flows, and like our money goals have to flex with that, because you can't go from earning basically one hundred thousand dollars down to sixty five and expect that you're able

I need to keep there. He's in his fussy phase, so it's not like he's eating much anyway.

Oh well, funny win, money win. I love that I'm currently in that golden season where I have a seven month old who's only discovering food, So we'll eat anything that I've put in front of him.

Yeah, that's a nice phase. Enjoy that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I'm acutely aware that this is going to change, but i am live love laughing right now, my friend. I'm like, oh, mushrooms, you eat mushrooms. Sleigh goodness. All right, let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. I have a lot of questions, so guys, don't go anywhere money, Darius do. We are back and I'm learning so much about how you have proven that you can have kids on your own and make it work, which I think is just so special.

I do thank you to this podcast because oh, really, absolutely.

That's so special.

I mean, of course I've got superannuation, so that was always there, but definitely, you know, from listening to this podcast, it just made the world of investing seem possible and doable and something that wasn't to be feared.

I love that.

Yeah. I started out small, and I got myself a raise and a spaceship portfolio, and I started playing around with those and then I think they started to introduce fees.

Remember when it was free. Yeah, you've been around a while, my friend, you are proving yourself. I love this.

And so when they did that, I thought, okay, I don't need both because they're doing the same purpose in my mind, and so I just kind of looked at them, thought which ones performing better, and Spaceship was performing better for me. So then I.

Just went all in on one.

Went fall in. Yes, So I just transferred the money from Raise into Well actually, so I kept Spaceship and then I had the Raise money and I thought, well, let's play around the different platform just to see, and so I got self Wealth because I figured that was a bit different. But I have to be honest, I don't love Self Wealth, so that's okay.

It is a bit more of a complex platform, Like it definitely doesn't have like if you're looking at and this is just like pragmatically not advice, not anything. I always have to say that, but like if you look at the user interfaces of Rays and then Spaceship, they're just really easier to understand. They're on your phone, they

It is. You know, I had to raise money and I just I think I had about maybe one thousand dollars or something, and so I'd put it in there. And then from playing around with that, I was like, I really don't like this platform. I find it tricky to understand. It's not user friendly, I don't think for me anyway. So I thought, oh, let's I'm hearing a lot about share zas. Let's try sharesy.

Oh no you didn't, did you? Actually I do. Oh she's a convert. Yeah, I have to say.

I love it so much better. So now I actually need to transfer my what I've got in self well over to share s EA's because I much prefer and it's easier to keep track of everything just see what my money's doing.

But it's true, right, and like, there's nothing wrong with self wealth. There are going to be a lot of people listening to this and they're like, oh, I love that platform, and that's great, that's fantastic for you. But one of the things that is so important to remember when investing is that it has to be any experience that doesn't cause friction with the way that you work, Like it has to be an experience where you find

Yeah, one hundred percent, I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna transfer the funds from self wealth into Chasias because it's just makes no sense to me.

Oh I love that. So you're an investing queen inside and outside of super Have you thought about investing for your baby?

I have, And actually I really need to go back to the Investing for Kids podcast because I keep thinking about it since I was pregnant with him. I was thinking about this and I haven't done anything, so I really do need to.

I was planning my investment plan for my kid way before he was even born, Way before he even existed way before I met his dad, like.

Now knowing what it can do, like investing this early on for him. And I'm just conscious that I'm a single person if I don't ever meet someone and it's just me. I want him to be able to get to eighteen or twenty and have those funds available for university or whatever it might be.

Ah, he's going to be so well set up. I love this so much for you.

But yes, I just I need to look in because obviously there's the tax implications there and I just need to look again and decide which pathway I want to go down.

Yeah, of course, have you thought about I mean, he's true now, so he's not going to comprehend it just yet. But you have you thought about how you're going to teach him about money?

Mm? Yeah, that's a great question. I don't know that I have fully considered it or kind of thought about how I'm going to do it, but I definitely do want to make sure that he is educated and knows how to budget for things, and it's conscious of what money costs. And I'm not quite sure. You know, there's

Found the one that works for you. Yeah, I mean, he's too You've got so much time. Your money story starts to form at seven. You've got time, You've got time. But I always find it interesting, right because I obviously think about it all the time. And you know, complete side note, I obviously write books, and I love writing books. My fifth one is about to come out, which is insane to me. But I've always said I want to write a book to teach people how to teach their

But it's interesting because you know, I obviously listen to your podcast, and I know you know you your father was in finance and gave you advice and you didn't listen.

And so why would I listen? What would he know? What do parents know?

How you do it so that it sticks in there? You know?

Yeah? And I think that that's where you know, it's those unconscious narratives that we learn about money that you know, even you were sharing with us at the start. You were like, you know, there was no particular story that you gave us about learning about money from your parents, but you were like, but if I lost my hat, it wasn't replaceable. But if I lost my jumper, I

I'll be waiting for this book, Victoria.

Oh, I'm writing it for people like you. So, so you wait. My friend talk to me about debt. Do you have any debt? If so, what is it?

No, so, no major debt.

The credit card got paid out, Yes it did.

It was a bit scary, but it did.

Go.

I do have money on it right now because I'm constantly using it. But I'd say I've probably got maybe one thousand dollars on it, so I can pay that off next time I get paid. And I pain off my heasteat about three years ago, which is a beautiful thing to do.

Okay, Spinner, that's a bit of a flex. Okay, so I've got kids and no heck step nice.

Yeah, so that's good and I major down.

I love that. Tell me, what do you think your best money havebit is?

I think overall, I'm just very conscious of my money. So I don't tend to spend things necessarily. And it's not to say that I won't buy a luxury item here or there or something that I really want, but I definitely think most of the times before buying things, I try not to buy things on full price if I can avoid. I feel like there's always a sale, or there's always a discount code, or there's always a marketplace.

One hundred percent, And that's a very good mentality to have. Irrespective like that means you're always going to look for one, yeah, one.

Hundred percent always, even if it's food, Like there's always, like, you know, some type of code out there for something.

One hundred percent. If it's not on sale, it coals. It's probably on sale at Wallies, Like, we need to be smart about this. And if it's not on sale, it either we are going to Audi.

I mean I do shove an outing mostly anyway. There you go. So yeah, I think that's probably my best money Habit just been conscious. I am always on marketplace. I'm scouring. I'm a big believer in second hand. And before you mentioned, you know, things for babies are expensive. I've been so fortunate. So many of my friends you know, had children before me and had given me so so much. I have not had to buy pretty much anything for price or at all.

I adore that. Now I'm in that sphere. It's actually wild. One how much baby stuff costs, but two just how little you use it. And I think you've got a nearly two year old. Harvey my son, he's seven months old now, and he is a tiny pudding. So my friend Harvey is like eleven kilos at seven months. He is massive. He's like on the ninety nine percent.

I was gonna say, my two year old, isn't it, Well, he's not quite two, he's twelve and a half kilos.

They go, he is massive. I actually look because I'm five two. I look comic cool carrying my child now, like he is just a tiny pudding. But the amount of stuff that was only used for two or three months at the very beginning, Like and seeing, I've got one of my girlfriends, so it's just let me know that she's pregnant. And I'm like, oh my god, so I've got a capsule for you. I've got this, I've got this, Otherwise it's just going to sit in storage. I was like, do you want the snow, I've got

Yeah, so that's probably yeah, that's money habit. I think secondhand is best.

Ah, Is it bad that I wake up in the morning and one of the first things I check is market Place just to see what's going on.

I know, people give away so much stuff, it's amazing.

I love it.

I did it last weekend. Actually, I've been clearing out and you know when you just sometimes you're like, I know I could sell this for money, but at the moment, I just need to get rid of it, Like we're about to renovate. I just need to get rid of it. So I gave away a chair on Facebook and it was a She's on the money girl and she messaged me and she's like, yeah, I love it. And then

Look? I think because I am so good, every now and then I do go a little crazy.

We have to you have to let it out.

I will find myself on sene or team or team. It was amazing but terrible slip presot because everything individually seems so cheap, and then you just keep adding and adding, and I hate paying for postage, so I will find that person. I will always keep adding until I get free postage.

So but also you need to weigh it up. Is free postage worth the amount that you're now spending in crap?

You don't need hundred percent? No, I just need to delete the APPSIDF my phone. But every now and then I just get sucked in because I've been so good, and then I end up with a whole bunch of stuff that I don't need. I don't need it. Maybe I want it, but I don't need it.

Oh that's fair. I feel like that's relatable though, and especially.

Now you can I can convince myself, well, it's for the baby and you.

Know, yeah, one hundred percent. And I mean it must be semi liberating not having somebody else that you need to check with, like no, no, no, I'm the captain here. I make all the decisions. I don't even have to consult with somebody else.

Yeah, but no, I do I need to be I think better at that. And going back to tracking my money and getting a clearer of the year, going okay, now a part time this is my income, How much am I spending a month of grocery, petrol? And all of those bits and pieces will give me that clarity to go, okay, you actually do have this much money to play with, you know, within your month, and.

I can fix that for you. Actually, I'm going to give you the She's on the Money masterclass because I think you're going to love it because it is going to not only help you track that and split it up like it splits it up into like what banking system you should you? So it says, this is the bank account it goes into, and this is how much each month or each fortnite goes in here, and this is what you're spending on food, fuel, and fun, and this is what you're spending on your child, and this

Oh my god, thank you. That is so sweet.

Oh, don't be silly like it's a little thank you. I suppose we're doing a money story because I'm super grateful for it. But obviously you're listening to the show and you're like, I want that. I want a cheeky little discount in the show notes for you. But oh, I think that that will really help you. I think like you've touched all the points and I'm like, hold on, hold on, this actually would solve this. I can do

It is absolutely And I will say, like, my boy's so beautiful and he's such a good kid. But the hard days are hard, you know, because you are on twenty four seven. There is no break, so it is really tricky. But the good days are amazing and most of the days are good.

And the bad ones are fleeting. Like I know that it would be really tough, but again, it's a season of life. And when you zoom out, you're like, that is worth it, Like it is.

It is. I don't look back at all, Like, you know, I'm just so grateful for him, and I think for anyone considering going down this pathway, you know, my biggest advice would just book an appointment and just get some information and cejas sit with it, because as women, we don't have sadly and endless time to be able to do it, so we do have to think about it while we're in our certain age range.

I guess, isn't that that's so sucky? But like, it's so true, and I think that as much as we can like dance around it and be kind like, unfortunately, if you get to an age, there's going to be a no turnback, Like you can't go back and make that decision later. So I love this and I feel like it's probably in the grand scheme of things, taking a lot of pressure off you as well to find a partner so that now if you meet someone, you're like,

Friend exactly, anything's possible.

I love that one hundred percent. Money does. I have adored this. I've learned so much and I feel like the community is going to love this episode honestly, probably more than I have, which is a lot. So it has been a pleasure. But sadly that is all we have time for today. So oh, thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey and being so open, because I feel like I've adored it. The ad buy shared on She's on the Money is general in nature