Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, Need the
podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today is Friday, my friends, which means it is time to get our little team together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community Today, Miss Jessicaraci hi over there is going to be sharing our favorite money wins and we as a team are going to answer a juicy money dilemma that you've got, which this week is all about budgeting to be paid monthly, which I feel is a really big pain point for a lot of people in
our community, and we are going to be unpacking something that you guys slid into our DMS about which this week is all about what to do when your friends aren't accepting your financial goals a little bit spicy. But first, let's recap the week that was. Beck, How are you?
How's your week been pretty done good? I would have to say it's pretty good, isn't it. Yeah, it's been really really good. Actually it's my last week in my old role, big dog energy, and I just feel like, you know, when you mentally check out, but in like the best way possible.
God, this is happening on Friday, so I don't know.
They don't know if you've.
Been mentally check out. What are they going to do? You don't work there anymore.
Some time they hear this, so it's too late.
Do they even listen? Like, who knows?
They probably don't listen exactly exist.
They do they do? That's where they were so salty at me.
Oh okay, that makes it.
Yeah, Jess, how was your week? What have you been up to? You know, just touring around the country?
Oh okay, yeah, just norm big stuff like that.
No, biggie, just touring the country. Where have we been this week?
So we had our international within state events in Melbourne and then also in Sydney today, which has been phenomenal. Sydney was our last city for the month. We did four this year. Best feeling in the world.
Absolutely walked. I mean, we probably should tell some people that we're telling Porky is when we say today because we recorded it the day before, because right now I'm probably on stage. And if you didn't get tickets to the She's on the Money event and you're listening to the podcast at like you know, eight or nine am on a Friday morning, you'll be like, one of these things, doesn't the moth coexists a mathe't math in mathe Mathin. But we haven't done Sydney yet. I'm currently doing Sydney
as this episode is dropping. But Melbourne was lit hometown, Like you just know that's going to be good. You just knew it was going to be good. Like my sister came ten out of ten.
Friends and family are there one of our biggest cities as well, which is awesome.
There was more than five hundred people that came on Wednesday, which blows my mind. Like I didn't even know that we'd have a community of more than five hundred people.
I remember when I started the Facebook group which preceded the podcast, right, and it used to just be this little Facebook group that I started because I did workshops called Sheese on the Money and I wanted everybody who came to my workshop to join my Facebook group so we could continue talking about money and soubrenuation and just all this sexy stuff, right, And I remember tipping over one hundred and I was like, guys, well, this is great.
I've made it. No, But I was just like, there are a hundred people that want to talk about money. And I mean I still, you know, maybe commented on a few too many posts myself. I'm like, oh wow, this is great information. But to think that we have grown not only to more than two hundred and fifty thousand people in that Facebook group now, which blows my mind, But we had five hundred people in one room at one time.
Which is it?
When you see Shares on the Money, like that's incomprehensible to me. Still, Like I walk away feeling you know, when you like disconnect a little bit from a situation because it just doesn't feel real and you're like trying so hard to absorb it, but you're also just still so I guess in awe, Yeah, that was me on Wednesday. That was me on Wednesday, and I'm still kind of trying to process it. I love it, I adore it,
but it is so funny. But for those of you who haven't gone to the show today, let's move on. Jessic GOTRICI, I want to know what community money wins have you got to share with us this week?
All right, well, I'm actually gonna start with the money loss from Sophie. She said she went to the pub last week with her friend and she just wanted a soda water and the total for two of them was a nine dollars sixty No for soda water.
No, that should no, that should be free.
It should be it should be really up charging for those bubbles, aren't they.
And it's like never bottled either at the pub. It's always like the post mix and you know that that's just tap water coming through the post mix to make me bubbly water, Like, guys give water for free? Nine dollars no, no, no.
Too much.
I was charged eleven dollars one what wait, wait, twelve dollars twelve dollars, not.
Playing with it six dollars six dollars per so to water.
How much was the wine?
I feel like the wine was like seven dollars, Like I really shouldn't. Might as well just gonna wine, just started drinking.
You know what I would have done. I would have bought the wine and then taken my empty wine glass to the bathroom and got my own water from the tap.
Potentially a health loss. I might just like dig it out of the toilet next time.
That might be better.
Is that bad? Like at home? Do you guys like drink water from the tap?
Absolutely?
What's wrong with the tap of the pub?
I just think you don't know who's touched the physical tap and what not.
Putting my mouth around the tap jests but.
You can't know something about it.
But you know what, that's fine.
That's the money win potentially for Sophie at the pub next week.
That's it. I do remember one time I was in Tasmania at my grandparents' house and they were on tank water. I remember one time we're all complaining that the water tasted rank. We're like, oh, there's something wrong with the water, and my grandparents were like just drink it. It's fine. It's rain water like it's healthy. It's the best water in the world. It's Tasmanian. We found it dead. Possibly I'm still alive. It's fine right now, Move on, Move on, Jess, What have you got? Next?
Money even comes from Emma, who said money when I was ordering from a company and their shipping policy said free shipping after you spent a certain amount. However, it wasn't coming off at the checkout. Turns out they had updated it, but forgot to update the policy on the website, and so I wrote them and I got a discount code to still receive free shipping.
Oh how cool.
Follow up when things aren't working, make sure you get that discount. My next money wind comes from Bailey Jean, who said I applied for a job late last year but wasn't successful until a few weeks ago when HR called offering me the same role. Yeah, my contract and I'm earning twenty k more than I was earning most time last year.
I feel like that is Bechtor energy. Like so many times will get rejected for a role and we just take it personally and go, oh my gosh, like they must have hated me. Or I could never do that, like why did I do it? When stuff like this happens, like usually during the hiring process, it's so pragmatic. They might go, all right, I'm hiring Beck and Jess have applied for this role. Beck's got this much experience. Jess has got this much experience. Loved Beck, loved Jess. Jess
has more experience. Tick that box. It's usually got nothing to do with you personally, but rather the business at the time needs to pick the candidate who has the most things that tick boxes right, because obviously they're trying to feel a roll and get a job done and rammatically, if someone has more experience, they might be better at it. Yeah, but if you're ever in that situation and you're feeling a bit flat, go back and say, oh my gosh,
thank you so much for letting me know. Can you give me a little bit of feedback so next time when I apply for this role, I'm more experienced or have the right criteria like what could I meet? And that might put you one in a better position because you might just go just needed another year more working.
I'm going to go back into the workforce, stay there in that role and then do exactly what this community member's done, where basically she just sat pretty and waited for the role to come back in in Juram money win, or you might see something similar pop up and go no, I am qualified. I can do this because one note doesn't mean no forever.
And sometimes they keep your resume on file, like they did for Bailey. My next money win this week comes from Anna, who said massive money. When we needed a new couch, so we went to Ike to have a look. The one that we wanted was thirteen hundred dollars plus.
Couches are so expensive at the.
So expensive, and I found out that you can change the entire cover on the couch. Very smart, big fan of that. I did searching and found a couch in good structural condition on gum Tree for a hundred bucks, bought it, picked it up, and then ordered brand new covers from my couch three hundred dollars. All in all, I saved nine hundred dollars for pretty much a brand new count. That's so smart. I would never have thought of that. Removable covers too, only way to go.
So I have removable covers on their couch that we currently have and adore and it's now making really hard to pick a new couch because.
We need a new couch, and I really love.
This particular one. It doesn't fit our space anymore. But like being able to put them in the washing machine and wash them with three pets is the best. Yeah, but it's so hard to find, so it's good to know, ike, I have some arguably affordable ones, because I feel like every couch in this dog is now worth a billion dollars. They're so exciting.
What's with that?
I don't know, Like you just chat, you just sit, you have literally no functionality. I don't get it.
Oh my goodness. My next money comes from Linda who said she used up old apple and a carrot and made twelve apple carrot class for my kids at lunchboxes. And she made her own Baker's Delight cheese and bacon rolls as well.
I want sauce, I know.
I feel like that sounds so good.
A carrot apple bar.
Yeah, I'm on the scrolls TikTok side where they make lunch boxes for their kids or their partners.
Mate. That makes sense.
Fancy you have like four kids and a husband, right exactly, so it totally makes fun when I'm there. My last money win for this week comes from Taylor, who said money win. We just bought our first home. I'm self employed. We have a two year old daughter, and we did it all on our own.
Yes.
How exciting is that? Congratulations Taylor. And being self employed gives you so many more hurdles to getting into the market. Genius.
Love it.
That's awesome.
How exciting. All right, Well, let's go to a really quick break because after the break, I really want to dive into a conversation about budgeting when you have a monthly income, which I think is something we all struggle with at some point in our lives. And we have a little dilemma about what happens when your friends aren't accepting of your financial goals. So guys, don't go anywhere.
All right, Welcome back, everybody. Let's jump into one of the best bits of the week. I think Money's honna I love this part.
It's so good. Hi. There, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The Sheese on the Money Team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hey, I've got a money dilemma for you. I get paid monthly, and right now, at the end of every single month, I am strapped for cash. At the start of each month, I put some money away for my savings, for investing and to pay my bills, and by the end of the month, I am looking for money under the couch. So I'm just looking for some tips and guidance on how I can avoid that, because December January it was rough this year anyway, love your work.
By that took me by surprise that it was a male voice, because I wasn't expecting it. But I love that we have men in our community. We had a few at hour events over the past couple of weeks, and we had a few that arguably were brought against their will as boyfriends, and there were some who listened, and I freaking love it.
It's actually the best. I did give me a little jump, though, I was like, is this all right? Recording? I love this though I also love this question because I feel like this is something that I used to struggle with and then I found my way of budgeting. And Jess, I feel like you're probably really good at talking about this because I pay you monthly. We will watching it. But I guess the summary of these is my best advice would literally be the She's on the money budgeting
cash flow course. And the reason for that is because there's so much more that comes into budgeting and cash flow and structuring ourselves than just okay, well, instead of living week to week, how do I live months to months?
Because those big costs then add up even more. I feel like they hurt you more when you're living on a monthly budget than a weekly one, because if a really big cost comes up, jest, you go, oh shit, like that's okay or right, all paid off over the next two or three weeks, and you can kind of
justify it. They're to yourself. Then if you go, okay, cool, I got paid four and a half thousand dollars this month, and then I have my rediol and it's twelve hundred dollars and you're like, wow, that's a quarter of my income or you know, a quarter of my budget. Just gone. And I think that when it comes to budget and cash flow, we actually need to take a step back and not talk about how often you get paid, but rather how many bills and expenses do I have every week,
every month, every year? What do those different expenses cost? What do they look like? If it's a weekly cost like groceries, okay, we can put it in as a weekly cost, but then it might be a monthly cost like a phone bill, and then it extrapolates out too, so annual bills like you might have some insurances to pay, or you might have your redgo or your car insurance or something like that, right that we need to take
into consideration. And if it's twelve hundred bucks a year for your car rego, what's one hundred dollars a month that we actually have to put aside to make sure that it doesn't bite us in the butt when it
comes time to paying it. So I think it's actually about the system you have, and there's not actually a different way of approaching it when it comes to I get paid weekly or I get paid monthly when we start that conversation, because we actually need to understand every single dollar that comes into our account and what job it has, and making sure that we have a banking structure.
And that's why I always talk about this concept called a cash hub, where every single dollar goes into your cash hub and it sits there in waiting for you to give it a job, and every single dollar that comes into your account gets given a job. So it might come in and it might be for your food, fuel and Fun account, which I call that because it sounds way more fun, but that's basically your everyday expenses and your groceries and things that you tap a debit
card for. You might say, okay, Victoria, I spend a total of two hundred and fifty dollars a week on food, fuel, and fun. So you take that two hundred and fifty dollars from your cash up and pop it on your debit card on a weekly basis. And I recommend that regardless of whether you get paid weekly or monthly or fortnightly, or however you get paid, we set up a direct debit. Mine personally is on a Thursday, because I want to withhold all of my money till closer to the end
of the week. Because if you give me two hundred and fifty dollars on Monday.
Gonna be gone.
It's gonna be gone. Like That's exactly it, right, That is exactly how I function because I can't be trusted. Why do you think I have such a strict system that enables me to work in the way that I work, but also takes into consideration the fact that I literally have ADHD. So if the money's there, I'm going to
spend it. It's just going to happen. So I transfer it on the Thursday, because often if I'm going to go out for drinks, it might be on a Thursday or a Friday night after work, and then I know that if I've got the weekend coming up, okay, well, if I have brunched on a Saturday, I then look at my account make sure that I've got some money
left over. And you know that time of the week is when I do my groceries, right, So I have that money that goes there, But then I also have all my direct debts coming out of my cash hub. So the money that is sitting in that cash hub is kind of laying in wait, you could say, to
be allocated to an expense. So it might be my monthly phone bill and I know that that's forty five dollars a month, and that's going to come out of my cash hub, so that money doesn't need to be put to work in the interim that money for me, That job of that cash is to sit there and wait so that it can pay my bill later in the month.
And I think that there's this misconception where every single dollar needs to work as hard as you do for it. But when I say that, I don't mean it needs to be making a massive return. I mean it needs to be taking some pressure off you or feeling good about that, or you know, it's working hard for you so that it can pay the bill that you have for scene coming up right, And then every single week, or you could do this monthly or fortnightly or however
often you want. We then transfer out our savings amount and our investment amount if we're in the privileged position to be able to do those things, so they're pre allocated. That money's already put into other accounts that we can't touch.
We can't talk about. And then if you have a mortgage, which I know is going to be a question that people will ask, one of the best things that you
can do not advice. Just what my clients have been doing for a really long time is making that cash hub an offset to your mortgage, so that your cash that is laying in weight to be given a job is actually offsetting the money that you are meant to be paying on your mortgage, which means even when it's kind of laying in weight not doing anything at least, it's kind of working a little bit hard. If you don't have that system set up, you don't have a mortgage,
that's totally okay. It could just be a savings account that you get paid into that might have some type of return at this point in time, not that likely, but it's a good idea. It's a good thing to think about. But every single dollar needs to be allocated for so regardless of whether you work monthly or you work fortnightly or weekly, or if you are someone who
has a really inconsistent income. And I know lots of people in our community work casually and maybe over Christmas they take over heaps more shifts because they're UNI and they can do that, and then when they're back at UNI during the year, they can't do as many shifts. This system works for you as well because it tells us how much we spend each week, and we need to allocate to our spending fund. So what that looks like is going, okay, cool, I'm working my butt off
over these Christmas holidays. I made triple what I usually make. That doesn't spend it. That doesn't mean you spend triple. That means that we actually have a baseline of spending that we know we meet and that cash hub might get a little bit juicier, at which point we go, all right, should I be you know, treating myself? We can treat ourselves sometimes that's absolutely okay, but we really to think of it like making Hey, while the sun is shining, So if you have some extra cash coming in,
can we put it into an emergency fund? Can we put it into savings or an investment to get ourselves ahead, so that when we are back in the groove of things and we don't have that flexibility that we had over Christmas, can we actually make use of those funds then to take the pressure off in the way that you thought you were going to have those work for you. Does that make sense?
That makes sense.
That does make sense. So it's one of those things that I find really challenging to articulate via podcast, because like the way that I've always taught it is to you know, go all right, Beck, let's sit down and I'll draw out a cash flow system on a whiteboard and this is where this goes, and what are your values? How does this work? And maybe Beck and I will do that actually, because I've told Beck that I'll I'll do her budget and cash flow very soon.
Thank you.
Because you got a new job, you have to be on it.
Oh, I need to be on it right now.
I'm living people. We won't tell we won't tell people what you're earning, but we can talk about the system and I can teach. Sure might share that. That seems quite fun. And then so, Jess, what tips and tricks do you have as somebody who lives in the situation of being a monthly pay I actually quite like it.
I don't know if I'm the anomaly here. I prefer monthly pay.
Why.
I think because I'm a very visual person. So for me at the start of the month, and I mean, the money is the same, right, whether you're being paid twice a month, once month, every week, whatever, it is, the amount of money that you have come in or at least in this situation for me personally, because I want a salary, it's the same, and so I really like that I have the full amount and I can then do my breakdown, which for the most part stays the same because I have my budget as my baseline.
But if I go, oh, this month, I have two weddings and I want to buy address, or I need to allocate money for a gift, I can look at all of my money for the month as a whole and figure out what the impact is, Whereas I feel like if you're going week to week.
Or fortnight to fortnight.
I haven't had that for a really long time because I think monthly is more common in corporate work. But when I was doing that, I was always falling into the train of being like, oh, I'm going to spend this money and I'll just put extra back in next power, Whereas I think when you're going month to time, you're I'm not going to have any additional funds for four to five weeks, and I feel like that makes me
better and being very visual. I've said this before, but I have accounts for everything that I spend on on the month. I have one for clothes. I have one for beauty, I have one for groceries, and I put my money in there for the month and I go, that's what I've got, And when that starts to get low, I go, oh, I need to pull my head in or I need to really think about my purchases. And that works for my brain. I guess, do you like monthly pay?
I can definitely appreciate that.
I think that I like seeing it as well as a whole and seeing, like, you know, I can pay my rent in one go.
I don't have to be like, okay this week, you know.
Yeah, so there are some bills that I like to just get out of the way, but then budgeting for the next few weeks, like this is what my fun fuel and what.
Did you call it?
Fuel?
And fun food fuel and fine.
I will set you up. I'm going to film me during the time.
Yeah.
I would really love that because right now I don't know what I'm doing. So I got you.
I also feel like, do you think that we get paid more? This probably sounds ridiculous, but because we get paid monthly, it's like when you pay rent monthly, it's a little bit more than if you paid it weekly.
So I feel like it's the same if you get paid monthly.
It kind of works out that way and.
A little bit more.
Yeah, it depends on what system people work on, so Jess is system. I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I'm not telling people what you get paid, but moment is good. The way it works for us is two weeks sceinarrears and two weeks ahead, so it's never actually January's pay, if that makes sense, or February's pay. It falls in the middle of that month, and it's kind of like two weeks in aarrears, two weeks ahead and
that that seems to work for us quite well. So for Jess, it would be consistent basically every time, or should be every time, just because of the way it works. Obviously, if someone is paying you quote on a monthly basis and you have to work an entire month and then get paid, February has twenty eight days, so that would be less, and then all the months that have like thirty one days, you'd get paid more. So it really
depends on how your I guess bookkeeping works. But I'm going to say something really spicy that I don't know everyone is going to love. People who like monthly pays are usually more responsible when it comes to budgeting and cash flow makes sense.
It's all checked it out.
Yeah, So, like, if you're getting paid monthly and it stresses you out, I don't want to pinpoint, but more times than not, when I sit down with that person, I will find that they aren't across their budget. They don't know how much they spend. They don't know how they can save or how they can invest because they've never really done that before and they've always just operated out of I guess anxiety and gone, okay, well, they
have all this money and I know that. You know, my rent might be twelve hundred dollars a month, so I can't spend that, and then it's a free for all for the rest of it. I'll just work it out and it'll be right. Oh it's a week until the end of the month. Oh crap, all right, Well I just won't go drinks with my friends. Like that's kind of how I find that might literally mean, but it's my experience with people who get paid monthly who maybe aren't on top of it, and it actually doesn't
matter what you earn. You could be earning forty thousand dollars a year. You could be earning four hundred thousand dollars a year, and that same system is going to mess you up regardless. And I think a lot of people often think, oh, I don't earn enough, and if I do my budget, I'll feel really overwhelmed and this will really suck. It's not like that at all. You'll actually feel more empowered because you go, yep, sick, all my bills are there, this is what I can spend
without getting into trouble. And if you're not on top of your budget and cash flow, ultimately you'll start spending more than your earning and you will end up in a pickle. So it's I don't know. I feel like budgets can be really restrictive and that's why people avoid them. But from my perspective, it's actually just a little bit of insight. How am I spending my money? Am I okay with it? It's not about comparison, it's not about restricting yourself.
I don't restrict myself in my budget at all. Like I get really sick of people and I'm seeing a lot of tiktoks at the moment, I feel like I bring TikTok up every single Friday. But that's because that's where I live. I live on TikTok pricet. That's okay, that's okay, endrepment. But people like I save eighty percent of my income, no chance. But it's just not going to happen. Yeah, And I need to be really honest about that.
Yeah.
Yeah. If if you contese on the money to save eighty percent of your income, you do, you boo. But I will not be teaching you. It's just not going to happen because I'm not about restriction. I just think that that ultimately leads to burnout and putting yourself in a pickle position. But do you reckon? We've spoken too much about a budget and cash flow.
I'm just so excited about it, and I believe it's been off for a little bit. But I'll turn it back on seeing as we're harping on about it right now.
If you want to do the you guys get something out of the fact that you just listen to all of that.
If you want to do the budget and cash Flow master Class, which is the system that I use. The budget we're going to get back on as well, and it comes with a very handy dandy automated budget that does.
Your full second.
It is pretty good and it does at all for you. If you're in a math scale like myself, very handy. Use the code pod fifty. I'll turn it back on today. It'll be up for three weeks and four weeks. Oh, she's generous.
She's in a good mood. I know she's in bad mood again.
Next four weeks. You knew the cod pop fifty because if you're paid monthly, then even if you're payday with today, you can work intor budget for next month.
Yeah, okay, that seems quite kind of you. I'm not that nice, so I would have been like, oh, I forgot about the discount code yellow. Much nicer person than me. Let's move on though. How about we have a chat about our community concern which looked like this, Hey, v Jess and Beck.
Oh dear, I feel a partner.
I'm loving these chats and I'm hoping you can help me with my dilemma. I have an amazing group of girlfriends we met at UNI and have staid friends now into our twenties. However, my goals are starting to shift and I really want to save for a house. I told the girls that I want to stop going out and then in brackets because let's be real, a night out is bloody Spano and they've just been really annoying
about it. They tell me you're only young once and don't be boring, But I genuinely don't care anymore about spending my money on a night out, and I get so much guilt when I look at my bank account the next day. How can I approach this with them? They are aware, so I need help. I understand it's been a bit of a pillar of our friendship, so I'm worried that they'll stop being so friendly with me. Please help kiss kiss.
Many layers, many layers, like an onion, an onion, I would say, I know that, like my friends would never pressure me to go out.
And you know, but I.
Guess if you've good friends, yeah, good, Yeah, good friends. I have really good friends, and we all should have friends that don't pressure us to do absolutely not.
Are they really a friend if they're pressuring you?
Like me?
But I also know there's this thing that you're only young once, you got to go out and live it up, and hopefully it's coming from a good place. Hopefully it's not just like, Hey, you're our fun drunk friends are You've got to come out all the time hopefully, Hey, I am that is.
The way I am back. That's not true. I'm so annoying. I go out and I think this might be because I'm in my thirties. Now Jess can probably attest because she might be in her twenties, but she acts like she's in her thirties. Will go out and we'll be like John, a cocktail, Yep, you want a cocktail. Do you want to be in bed by nine? Yep? Want to be in bed by nine? Bye?
The best. I think that's both worlds. Get me drunk and get me cozy in bed.
Yeah, it's all cozy about some perfect Yeah.
But we asked the community a few follow up questions, and one of them was have your financial goals changed in the past few years, and ninety five percent of people said absolutely, character development yep, and five percent said yeah nah, stay the same. So ninety five percent of our community, because that was a pretty good sample size,
said yeah, no, we change. The next question we asked them was did you have any friends slash family that you felt you needed to justify these goals too, which I find really ick, Like that was why we asked, but I hate the idea that we feel like we need to justify ourselves. Fifty nine percent, so that's pretty good, said absolutely not. It isn't their business. But forty one percent of you said yes, it was something I felt
was necessary. Ick. Yeah, And then we said, do you sometimes feel uncomfortable telling your friends you can't afford a night out because you're saving for something else? Forty percent said yep, twenty seven percent said no, my friends are really good with this, and then thirty three percent of you,
so exactly a third said a bit of both. So I just find that, from my perspective, really interesting, especially because we are right now, we're sitting in a community or a room full of women who are very akin to finance conversations, Like if Jess said I can't afford that, I'd be like, yes, sick, Norris will work something out, Like it doesn't even cross my mind that there's a layer of judgment that might be there, Like I feel like if I said to you back something and you
said no, I'd be like, yeah, right, nories, let's find a different solution, like it's not why not, Oh but you can't. I would feel horrendous And I feel is that starting to trickle into your friendship conversations Jess?
Yeah, And I don't know, as you said, if it's an age thing, I would be really interested to know the ages of our and obviously we're do we get on Instagram story so like the dart is not perfect, But I think, what do you mean as you get older?
I think, firstly you careless love that, but also I think those priorities really do have to shift, because I've had a friend within the last couple of months say to our group of girls, hey, like, is it all right if we ease back on the things that we're doing because our mortgage has gone up and we've got a kid and exactly, And every response immediately was, of course, what can we do? Come to our house, We'll cook you. Like, there wasn't even a beat of thought where you would
ever say no, what are you doing? So I don't know if that's because as you get older, generally people do take on a little bit more of a financial burden. But also I think that the mindset of her friends sounds very like selfish, and that is again, something that's typical of all of us when we're really young, right, it's that no, I want you to be there because you are my best day and we have so much fun. We're gonna get drunk, were gonna do this, and we're gonna
do that, and that is fine. But I don't think they're thinking about the impact that it's having on our listener, and that it is hard to be the person who's like, oh, I'm the boring one. And I was always the boring one, Like, oh, like I've got responsibilities or I've got things i want
to do or whatever. But as you said, are they your friends, Because again, if you're young, and I'm making presumptions here, but you do tend to outgrow people like there are sometimes people who are just there for a season of your life, people that you would go out with at UNI, or people that you were in class
at school with them. And I think that if you get to a place where your goals don't align, and if you get to a place where they're not willing to be flexible on their expectations of you, maybe they're just not the right people for you anymore. And that's not a bad thing.
It's funny, isn't it? As you get older, and I guess now having been room my twenties, I reflect on it and it's just so interesting because I remember my mum saying to me, some of your friendships will actually end up being situationships and you might be like good friends with them because you both work at the same cafe and you text each other all the time because you've got this commonality between the two of you, and the second one of you leaves, the communication is just
going to stop. You're not going to talk to each other ever again. Despite saying, oh my gosh, I talked to her every single day. I opened to the cafe with her at five am every morning. We were so close, when in reality, you just had something in common that bonded the two of you together. And I just find that so interesting because I was like in my late teens being like, whatever, these are my best friends for my whole entire life, and now I'm like, I do
not want to surround myself with those people. What are you talking about? You are not like supportive or kind or whatever you are that I want to surround myself with now. And it's interesting because it can be heartbreaking at the same time because the loss of a friendship hurts, it can suck. But I'm not saying that that's what
this you know, listener should go through. But I think it's just an interesting I guess segway into I guess conversing back again about just stick to your boundaries, like create boundaries with it and say, okay, cool, Well I've worked out my budget and I can probably go out like once a month, so you know, if there's a few things you want to do, let me know what's your fave, and like, I'll make sure that I come to that one, or even just sharing the goal be like,
oh my gosh, I'm saving thirty thousand dollars and I'm going to be doing this over the next three years by saving ten thousand dollars in Oh my gosh, if you break that up, that's twenty seven dollars fifty a day, and oh my gosh, that just falls through your fingers so easily. I think really contextualizing it and I don't think anyone should justify anything to anybody. We've spoken about
this on the podcast before. You do not owe anybody in explanation for anything, but as a people pleaser, I love doing that.
Yes, so let's give you the tools to do that proper.
But it is not an expectation. I think being able to quote justify it in a way and just say, hey, like, these are my goals, this is what I'm going to do, this is what I want to do. Well, maybe make your friends see that you are far more serious about it than Oh, she's just got in her head that she wants to buy a house. It's not going to happen. Whereas you know, walking the walk can often make people see that, oh, Jess is serious.
Yeah, and they adapt to this new version of you. Yeah, yes, slowly, and we.
Can all change and be different people and change our goals. Like ninety five percent of our community said that their financial goals have changed in the last few years. Yeah, and I think that's really cool. But then also, who knows. You might get halfway down this home buying journey and save half a deposit and be like, I don't want to do that anymore, and that's totally okay. I think we need to be accepting of that as well. But
I just think friends should support friends. I think there's the difference between FOMO, like your friends just don't want you to miss out. And now I just really want Jess to come to the party. I just really want Jess there because I bloody love Jess. And then there's judgment, and I think those two things are very different, and I think that we need to be able to decipher them so that we don't feel like our friends are judging us for being you know, Oh my god, I
can't believe dresses not doing that. She sucks so much. And oh, my friend actually just really wants me there. Maybe we could find a common ground. Why don't you come to my place before We'll have a wine while you get ready, and then you know, I'm not going to drink that much. I'll drop you to the train station, like I can still have that quality time with my friend. So I think really working out what the underlying driver of that conversation is is going to really help, because
if it is judgment, get in the bin. But if it's not, it's really around. Oh, I just really want to spend more time with you, and I only have the weekends because I work all week. Ah, well, what could we do? How can we spend more time together in a way that services both of our goals?
Yeah.
Absolutely, that's a really really good point.
And I think that if let's say this community member didn't actually say that they wanted to go out, still.
They kind of are prioritizing saving money.
But let's say hypothetically that's also a priority of theirs. You don't have to really go out and drink. You can maybe, I know this is really boring. You can go have a soda water or.
Wrap that. Let's just have half water, or.
You could just like have like house gallows. Try and shift it from going out house gatheros. She's always been way cooler.
I thought gather was a lame word, but here we all know.
I've just never been invited to a house gather. Thank you.
I would love because that's a lot cheaper. You know, you grab a six pack of beers, you sit around a bonfire, it's so much cheaper. So maybe like just compromising with your friends and be like, hey, let's let's just go to mind this this weekend, or let's do something. Let's go to the park, Let's do something where we can buy drinks at is a you know, an alcohol store instead of going out paying twelve dollars per pint.
As a about the bar.
Kick somewhere that does a special like a lot of places will do two for one Tuesdays or stuff like that, like can you find if you really don't want to give up that experience of going out, if that is what you want to do, digger at Like most places these days will do like a just count night or a Ladies Night or something. Make the patriarchy work for you. Ladies night, cheaper drinks, sign me up.
Absolutely.
You guys are talking about alcohol and I'm over here, I'm like, oh yeah, like Taco Tuesday, sing out of ten, so it doesn't always have to be about alcohol. We could go get the cheap tacos right Absolutely.
Cheap Tuesday at the cinemas, so good ten out.
Oh cheap Tuesday. Forgot about that. That's a good one as well. And if you wear a big hoodie you can stink your snacks in And I don't care what people say. I will do that till I die.
Absolutely.
I think that's all we have time for today, though, guys. It has been a pleasure as always. Thank you for coming to our International Women's Day events. If you came to those.
Happy International Women's Day Week.
Yes, I'm making a month International Women's Month long. Yeah, like, I don't care what people say. We are rallying for that over the next few years. But have the best weekend and we'll see you guys on Monday.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
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