Confessions of a Former Shopaholic

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast Let's you be pervy about other people's money habits educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries episodes where I get the absolute pleasure of sitting down and having a chat with one of our She's on the Money community members all about their journey.

Now.

This week I got an email and it sounded exactly like this, Dear Victoria and She's on the Money. I am a recovered shopperholic. I used to have over five thousand dollars in debt, payday loans and by now pay later apps. Even though I had nice things, I felt so depressed because I actually had no money. I was afraid to tell my partner when we were still freshly dating because he works in financial advice. Last year, I

What the hell, that's so good? Thank you, congrats. Oh my gosh.

I totally feel that I didn't tell my new partner because I is embarrassed. I mean, it doesn't help that he was a financial advisor, but I did the same thing, Like I still had debt when I met my husband and I was up, doesn't exist, can't talk about it, don't know what you're talking about.

No, that was exactly how I felt.

And did you end up telling your partner?

Yeah, So we had been dating for a couple months and we went and grabbed lunch at a cafe and him being in finance, he hits me with her so what's your financial stitch?

Like, oh god, did you just leave? Did you run out?

Of the restaurant, never to be seen again, because like that would have been my worst nightmare.

I thought about it, honestly, like a big sire in my brain. I was like, oh God, I knew that this was coming.

I knew, yeah, this day was surely to come. I have been busted.

I was so afraid to tell him, Look, your girl's got a shopping problem and I spend way too much money and I've got myself in this debt situation.

But I did what did you say? Did you say something like that?

I said to him, Look, from being on, it's really bad.

I like to buy lots of things and I don't know how to fix it.

That's really vulnerable though, Like that's really and I won't say a make or break it's totally a make or break situation though, Like because he could have been like, well, I'm not interested in this, or he could have shown up.

I wouldn't have been surprised if he had said, can't do it, like that's it for me. But he was actually really really understanding about the situation, and he actually said to me, look, I've been in similar situations myself where I didn't have a lot of money. He didn't have a shopping problem, but he used the paid a loans to get by. And then I remember just asking him, were like, how did you get yourself out of it? Because I was sitting there with this man who works

Like, and that would have been really overwhelming, so scary.

Yeah.

I was like, well, what's changed, Like how did you turn an leave? And he basically just talked me through what he did and I tried to apply the same thing in my life and it really worked.

Oh my god, I love that.

And he like instead of you know, you being judged, he actually was like, all right, so this is what I did and this is how I did it, and I'm going to help you too.

Oh what an icon?

Yeah exactly.

He actually kind of got like the finance side of him. He got a bit excited about it, like almost like oh, I can help you, Like.

I've got a game, there's a plan here.

Yeah. It was really cute.

I love that. I love that so much Money direst. Before we get any further into the show, I need to ask if I asked you to give your money Habits a grade, what would you grade them from A through to F.

Oh okay, if you had asked me this like a yeogo would have been an F for sure, I'd say probably. Now we're leaning more towards the B plus, so we've gone up quite a few grades.

Oh, I love this, you definitely have. Now let's take a step back. I want to know, can you tell me a bit more about your money story?

Yeah, of course.

So my money story is an interesting one and it's something that explains a lot about who I am today. My family moved here to Australia when I was twelve, and that was for more career opportunities because we were living in New Zealand at this time in a small

So I kind of learned to.

Live life like that, and I was always aware about finances. I was aware about if we were going to lose our home and things like that, like it was always very talked about. But that meant that when I grew up into an adult and I had my own life and meant that I had to learn how to spend that in a way. And I thought, well, you know, I've grown up where money was scarce and I didn't always have like the brand new things, the nicest things. So I wanted to buy it all. I wanted everything.

Yeah, you wanted to treat yourself, I did.

And I lived in a real treat yourself mentality. But it was spending way above my means. And I think that's just because that was a world that I hadn't lived before and it was new and exciting.

I totally understand that and resonate with that. I feel like I even went through that, like that's I guess what, because I've shared before that I got into astronomical amounts of personal debt and it was so hard to get out of. But like you kind of do, go, oh, well, I never had it before, and now I'm an adult. I can treat myself and I can make my own decisions and I'm going to do this and I am

I always thought it was bad, Like I always knew. I had people telling me it was bad too, and I was like, get off my case, like.

It's none of your business.

That kind of thing, like that was my mentality when I was pretty young, like eighteen nineteen, was like, don't talk to.

Me about it. I don't care.

And then interestingly enough, like during COVID, I had a housemate and she was really cool and I had like a bit of a breakdown about money because I was like, I don't know where all my money's going. I get paid and it's gone seconds later, and she was like you should listen to she's on the money.

What an I can?

And then I'm like, Hi, it's me.

At the time, I was like, no, I can't be doing that. That's not going to fix my problem.

And you know what, it's so funny because as someone who went through literally what you're talking about, if you had recommended to finance this podcast, I would be like getting the bin.

Ye absolutely not. I'm not listening to that crap.

Like I'm not having some preachy girl who thinks she's better than everybody else tell me how to run my money. And now I'm like the girl telling you how to run your money.

Sorry about that. How the tables do turn?

Yeah, So that's how I felt.

And then a few years later, I was like, oh my god, I'm having another breakdown because it's the same thing.

It's been like this.

For a couple of years now, like I'm getting paid, the money's done, and then I take another like payday loan again, and then it's just a cycle. And I felt so trapped and I was like, oh my god, I can't.

I can't do this anymore.

That was when I hit the five K point. I was like, this is absolutely ridiculous.

Five K feels like a significant number as well. It's not four and a half grand, it's five thousand dollars.

It was five And I had written it down in the back of my plan. I've written down how much I was in and I've broken it down, and I was looking at it like this is scary.

This is bad.

I think the beginning of the point where it was like time to change was that when we sat down at lunch, my partner and I, and he was like, well, I've got a plan, and I.

Was like okay, oh, thank god.

And it was almost like this big like sense of relief, like a big breath that I could take because there was a plan and there was someone that knew how to get me out of this, whereas up until then I'd just been ignoring everyone because I didn't think that anyone could help me.

I thought it was beyond help.

Really, yeah, totally. And so talk me through what then that looked like, because like your partner said, look, I've got a plan for you. What was the plan? How did the plan work? Was it big and did it involve balloons and champagne or was it slow and steady or like, how did that work?

We took a slow and steady approach to it. It was basically because I was feeling like I was stuck in this cycle and I'd have no money when i'd paid everything back. He said, just do fifty dollars less each week, like pay it all back and then the next time you need to draw out like a payday loan fifty dollars less. And I did that significantly over all of my over each pay cycle, and eventually it didn't feel like, oh my god, all my money's gone.

Of attacked it in chunks.

So I did like the payday loans as one sort of thing, and I did the shopping.

Loans as another thing.

And it took me about a year to get through all of it, but felt real good sense of relief when it was all done. That's when we cracked the champagne.

Yeah good, I love that.

Could we talk a little bit more about getting into debt, because like, there is no way if I sat you down when you were younger and said, hey, babe, so I've got this plan. I'm going to get you into five grand of debts and you're going to feel crippled by it. Deal, and you go, yeah, deal, Yeah, Like that's not how it happens, right, Like you wouldn't have ever applied for a payday loan or a line of credit with the intention of being in bad debt. It

What were you buying?

Like, was it really expensive items? Was it you know, things that are just adding up here and there, Like I kind of also want to know, like what have you got to show for it today?

To begin with, it was you know a few expensive buy items, you know, things that cost a couple hundred dollars, so shoes, clothes, outfits for festival, festival tickets, like that kind of stuff. Towards the end, if I'm being really honest, it got to the point where it was I'm using after pay to get a cold S voucher or a Wooly S voucher to get my groceries.

Yeah, because you were just like spending so much paying back debt or not sure where your cash is going it. That was the option, and that was like an.

All time low.

And I remember being in the shops and I overheard a conversation and it with someone saying like they worked at the grocery store and they were like picking fun of someone who asked, oh, do you take after.

Pay literally getting the bin literally get in the bin.

I literally take out these after pays on gift cards to get my groceries, and I was like, oh my god, I've become the person they're making fun of.

See, you never know who's listening. You never know, and that's awful, Like you never want to feel that way, and nor do you ever want to make somebody else feel that way.

No, God, No, that was like a huge wakeup call for me. It was no longer. I was still buying nice things and stuff, but it was no longer just a tool to buy nice things. It was trickled throughout my life. I feel like all of my friends were so used to it as well, Like they'd be like, oh, there's a festival coming up, you don't have money, just have to pay it.

It's fine. It's like so normal. And that was conversation that was around me.

Yeah, and then everybody else is doing it, and then you don't want to miss out, so you still do it. And I think that that is such a good example of I say often on the podcast like personal loans are a slippery slope, and it's because of exactly that.

That's exactly how it went, and it was kind of scary, to be honest.

It's terrifying, like and at the time it's not just terrifying, it feels really embarrassing. It does, and it's not it's absolutely not. You don't want to talk about it with your friends, like because like just have to pay it. It's fine, because that's the only conversation we'll ever have about your debt. I'm never going to bring up a breakfast or hey babe, like, have you paid back your after pay? No one's going to ask you that, Hey, are you struggling with crippling debt? No one's going to

That's why it was so interesting when we got to the point where I was at lunch with my partner and he just asked me, and I was like, well.

Oh yeah, US finance people are built different. I will just be like, so, who what do you reckon about the mortgage rates?

Oh?

What do you pay per month on your mortgage?

Oh? This?

Oh me too, Like we are crazy, we have no shame.

That is your branch conversation.

Yeah, Like I'm so grateful for it, but like, you are so right. You said something before and I didn't want to interrupt, but you said something along the lines of like I was just spending way beyond my means, and like that's literally all it means. Like it's not a reflection of you not being good with money. It's not reflection of anything other than you actually just spent more than you earned, full stop, end of story. Like that's the whole story, Like you just spent more money

Yes, of course.

So it became like we had a bit of a celebration when I made that final zip pay payment.

It felt huge.

I love this man, by the way, the fact that he's celebrating with you, and I.

Can't absolutely like I got a good one.

I love this And so you've gone from being in bad debt to now having fifteen grand safe for a house deposit.

How the hell did you do that?

To be honest, I still think that sometimes I'm like, how have I managed that? But it was a case of basically growing my financial literacy and learning that there are more than one way is to say, so I want myself out of debt. And then I was like, okay, great, Like I've got all this extra money, but I don't want to just spend it.

I want to save it.

And so we sat down and I learned about things like the first home super saver.

Yay, I'm so proud of you.

Like that week I went to the payroll at my workhouse, I need you to set up like salary sacrificing to my super and I've been increasing it like so just like finding different ways to save and things that mean that I can't touch it for shopping, like you know, it's.

Out of mind.

And I've learned to spend the money that I do get and keep that aside.

Yeah, And I feel like I want to talk a little bit more about the shopping side of things, because it's not just oh, I wanted stuff, full stop, end of story. Often and I'm going to ask you what your experience was like. But often when people say, look, I'm a recovering or a recovered shopaholic, there's a lot more going on there just wanting some stuff because we want stuff, But more often than not, people are chasing that dopamine high like it is the only thing you

No, it was like an addiction, Like I was always buying something new, and it was like you said, when you wait for the package, you know, you're so excited, you're tracking it every moment, like you're getting these emails in your inbox of all these new sales and stuff, and like, to me, that mindset still hasn't disappeared, if I'm honest, like, I still get that.

It doesn't. I'm sorry to ruin that for you.

It's not going to go away.

We just have to reframe it and work out how channel that.

Yeah, so, like I find myself off for now. Instead, I'll just start a big online cut and I won't buy anything. I'll just add everything that I think's cute, And then often a couple days later, I'll look at that cut and you're like, I don't even really like that.

Yeah, that's fair. That's a humbling experience, isn't it. You're like, Oh, that could have easily ended up in my wardrobe without further consultation.

Yeah, exactly.

So like that side of things doesn't change, and I still often feel it, But it's about having the impulse control to like hit the purchase button or not.

And is there a particular time or a particular experience that you go through where that's stronger than any other time?

Just before bed nighttime?

It's like when you're scrolling and you see things on Instagram or you see things on TikTok and you're like, oh, that would be cute, and then you open your online shopping and it's like it's a whole spiral in the evening because you've done your day of work and want to like unlined and shop.

Yeah that's so fair. I so get it. I need to know more about you, though, So I want to know, now what do you do for work? How much money are you earning?

Alrighty, so, I am a facilities and asset coordinator for a clinical research company and I earn eighty thousand dollars a year.

Talk to me, what is the facilities an asset manager? I'm so sorry, am I am? I completely out of the loop.

I also didn't know what that was until like a year ago. So basically we look after buildings, the maintenance, and then we organize all of that and anything inside them, so medical equipment, making sure that's alsoviced and up to date.

Oh cool, Yeah, that's what I do.

Well, that's kind of fun. And you enjoy what you do.

Yeah, I love it. It's great, gives me, gives me stuff to do.

And is that eighty K including or plus super?

Oh yeah plus super?

Sorry?

Oh, very sexy. So now talk to me.

You obviously had the big money goal of getting out of debt and you killed it, and then in your submission in you said, I also now have fifteen thousand dollars to go towards a home deposit. Talk to me about that. What's that looking like? Is that your big money goal at the moment? Like, how far have we got to go? Tell me all the stories about all the goals.

Okay, so we are actually very close.

So this is a finance goal between myself and my partner together on joint income, which is very exciting. Our goal is seventy K and we are on track to be there by November December this year.

No, you're not that soon.

Yeah, I know, it's very exciting.

And then what's the plan is that, like a twenty percent deposit? Is that ten percent? Like, what are we doing once we hit the seventy grand?

Okay, so seventy grand is just under ten percent for what we're looking at, and we're going to cop the LMI basically just because here in Perth, like the housing market has started to rapidly grow, so we want to get in there as soon as we can, because if we waited and saved until we had ten twenty percent, that'd be no chance of getting into a home.

Now, how'd you learn that?

Because that's something that I talk about on the daily right because I own a mortgage broking business. Did you speak to a mortgage broker? Is your partner just really financially savvy and knew like how to do the maths and work out what LMI might look like and what would that look like? Like, where'd you get this information? My love?

My dad is a mortgage broker.

Oh winn a winner. I was like, where are you getting this? Because a mortgage broker has clearly how to chat with you about the importance of LMI and whether we pay it or don't pay it. Because some people are so avoidant of it, but it can mean sometimes you can get into property quicker. And like I just finished recording another money diary, because I don't think it's a secret that I sometimes do a couple in a

No, that's the thing.

And I'm not saying that all property grows like that. That's absolutely not the case. But it's just it's so important to understand what risk actually means and is that risk of LMI worth taking on?

Yeah, exactly.

So we've just decided that with where we are, it's we don't mind taking that on. It'll fast track our process into getting into a home, which is the major goal.

I'm obsessed.

I love that for you.

And then you've got like an area that you're going to go shopping and have a look at, and you kind of got an idea of what you guys want to buy.

Is that right?

Yeah, So we've been having a look like my guilty pleasure is looking at the housing market on almost a daily daily space.

I'm not even shopping for a house right now, and I have the real estate and domain notifications popping up on my phone on the daily. I regret nothing.

It's like, Okay, this is what you're working towards. This could be.

Yours, like, and I love checking the sold section and I'm like, oh, I would not have paid that. You don't have six million dollars. You were never even close.

Yeah, exactly.

So we've got an area, like it's sort of an area in mind that's close to his family and my family, and we're looking at a fullway two.

This is so cute. Oh, I love it. And then the goal is to buy a home.

Have you thought about goals after that or have we just got like our heads down, bums up and we're just getting that done and we can talk later, or are there other things happening along the sides.

So right now it's hustle house of hustle house is the goal, But we have discussed like what our goals are like after we've obtained the house, because we're actually saving so much now, but even with the mortgage, like our cash flow will increase when we have our house, so you know, we want to do a little bit of travel. Is we have put that off while we've been on this savings journey as well. And I just got engaged. Actually a couple of weeks.

I spot that on your finger and was going to us.

Because I was like, boyfriend, show me that ring, show me show me yesure, Oh my god, that is so cute.

Thank you.

It was his NaN's no, what was it?

It was? And I think that's so sweet.

Nan had good taste.

I know. I'm so thankful.

We'll be for real. And that cut what's it called? Is it a market diamond?

Yeah?

Yeah, that is very on trend at the moment it is. I'm like, oh, thank you, Nan, and.

It's said gorgeously thank you. So the plan for all wedding what does that look like?

So we're giving ourselves a couple of years until we get married. So twenty twenty seven is the goal, because otherwise it's just going to be too difficult to save that amount because weddings are expensive, and even if you don't want to go crazy wild with it, they just are.

They just are expensive.

I like that you seem to have your head screwed on about this as well, because you can just get so swept up in like, but I just got engaged and I really want to get married, but you have so much time ahead of you, and like that would just put unnecessary financial pressure on you, exactly.

So we're just focusing on getting into the house and then the wedding will come like in due time after that.

Oh I love this sea. She met him in debt and now they're getting married.

I know it's crazy, and I wouldn't dream of getting in any debt on a wedding.

No, no, no, no no. I feel like you're not able to marry into a financial advisors family and get into debt on the wedding. Like that's just not going to happen. I don't think even if you wanted to try it, your partner would be like absolutely.

Not, absolutely not. No no.

Yeah, yeah, So I feel like he's going to keep you kind of on the straight and narrow too, I think, so, yeah, I love that. So let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. I want to talk about investing. I want to talk about debt a little bit more. And you're good and bad money habitat you guys don't go anywhere. All right, muddy diarist, We are back and you've just gotten engaged to a financial advisor. Let's talk investments.

Okay.

So I had no clue of investments prior to but I have since then learnt a lot. So I now invest in a couple of things. I use the raised roundups tool yep, love, and I only started that recently, and that's sitting at a couple hundred dollars now, So that's a really good little one there. I don't even notice comes out of my account really. And then the other one that I am invested in is a high growth index fund with Vanguard.

Yep love, who told you to get that?

That was also my partner, He suggested it.

So this man is setting you up for future financial success, with or without him an icon, I think so.

Like, I'm just so thankful for the education because it's not something that the average person knows about, and I am the average person when it comes to finance. I had no clue that there's this whole other world of investing of ways to save. I mean, like my savings right now are sitting in an investment portfolio, so that will grow, and that's just really exciting to look at it and go, Wow, I did that.

It's just so gratifying, going this is not who I thought i'd ever become, and I'm really proud of who she is now. Like, isn't it cool to just step back and be like, holy moly, Like I didn't think i'd be.

Here bigtime, Like I had no idea that I was going to be somebody who actually had savings.

That's sexy. That is very sexy. I love that money. Diarist, talk to me about debt. Now, do you think you'd ever go back into debt?

I don't think you would ever go back into shopping debt or anything like that. I do still have a car loan that i'm paying off, so unfortunately I'm not fully debt free. But that one's a bit of a large one that is going to take a bit of time.

I've got a year left on that one.

Oh okay, that's not too long. You'll be out of it before you get married, yeah, which is exciting.

So there's that, and then like I've just started journey, so a hex step may creep up on me as well.

But that's education. That's very different to a debt for shopping.

I think. So.

I love that, So talk to me a bit more.

I reckon.

You've developed a number of good money habits over the last few months. What do you think your best money habit is.

I would say that my best money habit is probably the fact that when I get paid now, the first thing that happens is my money goes into my investments, into my savings. That happens before anything else.

It's like highly proitize.

Now.

I love that. And do you still have any bad money habits? If so, what are they? Please spill?

Oh, book, I'm work in an office, so I buy a lot of coffees. The way that I've managed that, though, is that I can sorry package and meal an entertainment card. Oh smart, So I use that as like my coffee and lunches allowance.

Yeah, oh how good.

At least you're being smart with it, because, like I think for some of us, we're like, I shouldn't do this at all, and then every week we're still doing it. At least you're being smart with it.

Yeah, and then I don't want that guilt of like feeling bad for going to get a coffee and stuff, because it is also quite like a social thing and it helps when it comes to work and the people that you work with. So I wanted to be able to go get my coffee and it not feel like I'm being bad.

Yeah.

No, I love that, and I love that it's like kind of built into your budget that way, and it just makes sense money. Diarist, talk me through a little bit more about this B plus. So at the start of episode you were like, I reckon, I'm a B plus And like, girl, you have come so far. You said twelve months ago you would have been an F and now you think you'll be a B plus. But like,

V I'm an A? Like what do we have to change?

I think I'm just afraid to give myself an A in case I fall back into like I'll.

Give you an A if that's it, I'm going to give you the A.

I think you're doing so well, like you have changed so much, all your habits is so good. I'm like, I don't want to argue with her because like she's had a really good growth.

Over the last two months.

If you're saying it's just because you don't want to give yourself an A girl, girl, you are an A and you need to give it to yourself.

Thank you.

I just just in case I like fall into like a bad habit, I don't want to like disappoint myself.

For you can fall into a bad habit. We can go backwards, but then we can go forwards again. We can go back and forwards. Like there's no perfect Like I don't know if people pay heaps and heaps of attention to the grades on the show, but for me, it's a lot about personal growth. It's not so much about grading because like there's no real criteria, right, Like I go, how do you feel about it? And you go, I reckon, I'm a B plus they go, great, tell me about it. And then we get through this show,

Thank you, thank you.

I love it.

Oh my goodness. I wish I had more time to chat with you because I think that we'd get on so well in real life, but unfortunately we are running out of time. So thank you so much for sharing your money. I'm obsessed, like I just know that other people are going to listen to this and go, oh my goodness, I getting so relate to this shopping habit or even our conversation about spiraling out of control. And then we're buying grocery vouchers, like it happens, it can

Guys, like, it's.

A slippery slope. And when I say that it's not, Oh yeah, it's a slippery slope, you'll end up buying heaps of shoes. That's not it at all. No, And so I think this has been a really beautiful story to like share that with people and then also share that, like so many things I've gotten out of this, you can get into a relationship and be in debt and it be fine. How many times have we like thought, oh, no, I can't do that.

I shouldn't be dating. I'm in personal debt.

Commute here i am, and I'm married to the husband that I met on Tinder while in debt. Yeah. I just feel like I have learned a lot from you, and I'm really grateful for it. So money, DRIs, thank you, and I just know that the community is going to be as obsessed as I am.

Thank you so much.

It's been so nice to be able to share my story.

Oh I'm so grateful. Thank you.

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