Bonus Episode: She's on The Money Book - 1st Chapter

the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

introduce a little bonus episode to you. And the reason I'm doing that is because everybody's got this new year you me vibe going about them, and from the feedback I got about my first book, I felt like it would be a really good New Year's gift for everybody to give you the first chapter of my very first book, She's on the Money. So I'm hoping that this gives you the motivation that you absolutely deserve to kick start this year. Twenty twenty three is going to be a

massive one for all of us. I have so many plans for She's on the Money, and I just want our community to be on exactly the same page. So as a little gift, little bonus episode, I'm dropping this in here so that hopefully you can find the motivation and if you haven't found it yet, hopefully this helps. So Happy New Year, my loves, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter one, Everybody's Got a story. Money stories are the subconscious and conscious beliefs and values about money and prosperity that we develop early in our lives, whether we like it or not. They contribute to what we feel is financially possible, and they dictate our behavior. They form the foundation of how we think and communicate or react to money. If conflict around money was a central theme in your upbringing, any conversation about money might start with a stomach ache.

If money was in abundance, conversations about money might allow you to feel invincible or sometimes even a little bit reckless. If money was something your parents took care of and didn't speak about. Any conversation about money might make you feel unqualified, lost, or uninterested. In my mind, the most empowering use of money is as a way to transform our lives and the lives of others. Money, after all, is the tool we need to live a comfortable life,

both in the present and the future. Money is intended for spending, sharing, and investing, nothing more. For something with such a simple and pure purpose, the reality is that money can feel wildly complicated and cause an enormous amount of stress. The term money anxiety has been coined non money intended for a reason. Worrying about where your next meal is coming from, how you're going to pay off your credit card debt, or if you can make a quarter of a tank of fuel last until payday can

and will keep you up at night. When it comes to even bigger things like trying to imagine how you're supposed to survive after retirement, the task can seem so herculean that you avoid the thought of it altogether and shove it so far into the back of your mind it doesn't even get acknowledged. Whatever your money story, positive or negative, dealing with the mysteries of money as an

adult can be a struggle, especially if you're a woman. Today, women are increasingly out earning men, but in many cases we still don't have the resources and tools available to avoid being disadvantaged. I see it, I feel it, and I hear it all the time. Young women feeling disempowered around money conversations because finance isn't a topic we've been taught to focus on. We don't learn about it in school, and most of the time, we don't learn about it

from our families. Gender stereotypes are still wreaking havoc on our ability to be financially secure and contributing to negative money stories. It's something I'm here to change. Young women need to know how to be financially free. The impact of this will be felt thirty, forty, even fifty years down the track. If you start now, creating a secure financial future will involve tiny baby steps instead of unrealistic leaps.

If you can set good money habits up front, you can look at your finances holistically and increase your savings as you increase your earnings, instead of experiencing the dreaded lifestyle creep. What do I mean by lifestyle creep? I mean that more often than not. The more razors and bonuses you earn, the more you will spend. It could be brunching with friends, booking a holiday, buying a luxury car, getting every streaming service under the sun, or simply treating

yourself to a good coffee every morning. All of these things are fine if they're what you truly value, but they're not going to help you build an investment portfolio that will provide you with financial freedom. The fact of the matter is you cannot save without sacrifice. Something is going to have to give an understanding just how beneficial choosing to go without can be is the first step

to having a healthy relationship with money. Have you previously tried setting goals to create more abundance but didn't make any progress. I strongly believe that your money story can sabotage your plans for prosperity. Now, you can't change your money story, but you can reinvent it. Together, we are going to map out how you can free yourself to create a more balanced, enlightened, and positive outlook on money. The truth is personal finance is just that personal. And

remember this is a no judgment zone. I'm here to work with you on your own story. And values. We all have a money story, and it's not the product of our own doing. It's important to say this is my starting position. Now, where can I go from here? Understanding exactly where you are right now with your money and knowing where it is that you want to be will give you the clarity and confidence to make wise choices that will set you up for life, both personally

and professionally. Let's get started, shall we connecting with your money story? What's the first thing that came to mind when the topic of money stories came up? How were finances handled in your family when you were growing up. Were financial expectations different from men and women? If so, what were those differences. What is your earliest memory about money? Was money spoken about as a family, If so, do you think those conversations impacted you in a positive way?

Did anyone influence your money story in a positive way? What are your money beliefs? Beliefs are assumptions we hold to be true. When we use our beliefs to make decisions, we're assuming that the causal relationships of the past which led to those beliefs being formed, will also apply in the future. In a rapidly changing world where complexity is increasing day by day. Using information from the past to make decisions about the future may not be the best approach.

Beliefs are contextual. They arise from learned experiences resulting from the cultural and environmental situations we're faced. I want you to start thinking about your money beliefs and answer the following questions. Do you believe money is good or bad? Or is it just an evil necessity? Do you think money should be spent or saved? What would you consider a luxury purchase? Do you think money is hard or easy to obtain? Do you think money should be your responsibility,

your partners or both. Do you think both parties in a relationship should be empowered to make financial decisions. Do you think money in a marriage should be separate or shared? Where do you think these beliefs came from. What are your money values? Your money values are different from your money beliefs. Values are not based on any information from the past, and they're not contextual. Values are intimately related to our needs. Whatever we need, whatever is important to us,

or whenever we are missing from our lives. That's what we value. A good way to check what your values are is to check your bank statement and highlight what you spend most of your disposable income on. It's basically a bank account audit, which we're going to do together in the next chapter. While you may think you value paying off your mortgage, your spending habits might reveal that you actually value nights out with your friends more, and that's why you have so many pub and wine bar charges.

As our life conditions change and we mature and grow, our values change. When we use our values to make decisions, we focus on what is important to us or what we need in order to feel a sense of well being. What do you currently think you value and would you be willing to cut back on any of those activities or purchases? If yes, why, and if no, why not? Beliefs versus values. Being able to differentiate between your beliefs and your values will help you get your head in

the right space to adjust your behavior with money. Neuroplasticity refers to the ability to retrain your brain and change your habits. As much as your money story is defining your habits right now, you can absolutely change your trajectory. To do this, you can ask yourself the following questions, reflecting on your values and beliefs, How do they make you feel? Are they aligned with creating the life you want for your future? Are your beliefs getting in the

way of your goals? Reframe your thoughts. Most purchases are a motive. Have you ever had a really crappy day and thought, I deserve my favorite gelato right now? Or if I go and get that facial, I'll feel much more confident at my work Christmas party, which will then help me network better and ultimately get me that new account. This is called retail therapy. It's your mind literally trying to soothe itself through shopping, and while it may hit the spot in that moment, it is detrimental to your

bank account in the long run. Another major cause of money anxiety is the unintentional practice of comparing yourself to others. When you talk to colleagues, friends, or family members about salaries, savings, holidays, homes and the latest smart watch your phone, you can often end up feeling like you're not where you're supposed to be in life, which damages your sense of self worth. It's important to know that the world is not a level playing field and that we did not all start

at the same point. Don't compare your start to somebody else's middle. Our minds are constantly giving us chatter and feedback, but sometimes these voices in our heads can be negative and unhelpful. By learning to tune into this chatter and reframe the messaging, you can consciously shift the tone to neutral or even to positive, which can lead to better decision making in every area of your life. Over the years,

I've learned that people have excuses for everything. When people say I can't, they usually mean I won't make that a priority right now. It doesn't matter what salary you're on. When you say you can't save you would if it meant a lot to you. You're choosing not to achieve it, even if you don't realize it. Financial independence is about

mindset and approach. Since your emotions are guiding your purchasing decisions, you need to be able to reframe your reactions to your thoughts so that they can align with your values. Take one of the money beliefs you came up with earlier that has an associated negative emotion for you. It might be a belief that makes you feel mad, sad, frustrated, stressed, trapped, or even worried in your pdf workbook. Write down the thought that created this feeling and how you usually act

upon this belief. How can you reframe this event in a way that will bring more positive emotions and less negative ones. I am here to help you build a bigger, better version of yourself. Money is really important, but it's not what matters the most in life. Not making a choice is actually still making a choice. If you're not ready to face your money story, that's fine, but be aware that it's also a choice that you are making.

I know changes on comfortable, but your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs are guided by your money story, and it's up to you to change yours. Stephanie's money story. She's twenty four from South Australia. My parents immigrated to Australia from Poland when I was four. Growing up, my siblings and I could sense that money was tight. We shared a bedroom, ate the same things for dinner every week, didn't go

on holidays, and always had hammy down clothing. My parents often talked about the importance of saving, so even when they wanted to treat us to an ice cream at the pool or offered to take us to the movies, would say no, because we wanted to be on their savings team. Fast forward to today, I'm twenty four and in my first year of working as a vet nurse. While most of my friends don't have much in their savings account, I have nineteen thousand dollars because I grew

up always thinking I needed a safety blanket. Watching my parents struggle made me hyper aware of not spending money on unnecessary things. While I know this is an amazing position to be in, I feel like my money's still is holding me back from investing and making my money really work for me. This year, my goal is to loosen my grip on my savings account balance so that I can allocate more to investments. Kathy's money story. She's

thirty three from New South Wales. I struggled through my parents' messy divorce where my mom had terrible money handling skills. I ended up working after school to help support us and was paying bills in rent at fifteen. In the early years, I followed my mom's lead and went into debt overspend and didn't value saving. I've now turned things around with my husband's help. We've bought our own home, done a bit of traveling, and saved for our first

baby so that I can take maternity leave. Still not as set up as I'd like, but proud of my change. Aeron's money story. She's twenty five from Victoria. Growing up, I had divorced parents. My single mom was never poor, but I remember as a teenager always being conscious of how much things cost. For example, my sister and I knew to try and pick the ch heapest things or

opt for the less expensive recreational sport or hobby. It sucked not for us, but I could sense that Mum almost felt embarrassed about it, which made me sad to see. Years later, she is remarried and earning a higher end, middle bracket salary. However, she is a spender under stress. Whenever she is stressed, usually about money, she buys a new plan to or the most random things on eBay, which then sit in a cupboard. My mom and stepdad

pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. They've dipped into their super funds. My stepdad was seriously ill a few years ago and needed slash still need some time off work. They still owe about four hundred thousand dollars on their mortgage and are both in their mid to late fifties. I honestly worried that they will never be able to retire early or comfortably, which is stressful. My dad passed

away when I was seventeen. He lived into State and we would fly over in the school holidays at his expense. We knew he earned well. We later found out he earned in the six figures. However, we never knew much about the details, except that he could afford to send us to a private school for VC and would fly to holiday destinations without much worry. He lived in a nice townhouse and had investment properties, but when he died we found out that he was also in a lot

of debt. My sister and I ended up inheriting quite a small amount, under three hundred thousand dollars, despite the combined millions tied up in housing and shares, the risky types. Of course, we didn't care about the money because we were so grief stricken. Nonetheless, I wondered to this day how he got himself in this situation. Obviously he was

not overly responsible with money. Finally, my granddad, who also used to earn in the six figures back when he was working in the financial industry, ironically now lives at home with my mum and stepdad because he became unable to pay his rent after my grandmother passed away. My granddad lost a lot of money on the stock market multiple times over his lifetime. After my grandmother died, he said that he got depressed and so he spent the

rest of his money because nothing mattered anymore. This was, of course very sad Here, however, he has more than once told me that even when he earned all that money, he never saved because he didn't really think he needed to. So here, he is approaching ninety years old having to be so mindful with how he spends his small government pension. My family supports him, but I still see how much his life is affected by this. The fact that he feels embarrassed that we pay most of the time when

we take him out for lunch is upsetting. We have tried to tell him it doesn't matter, but it has impacted him greatly that he feels he can't leave an inheritance. The worst part is if he had saved back then, he could have set himself up for such a care free retirement. I've been influenced by all of these stories.

I'm also a big stress spender working on it. I started my first real job, part time salary last year, moved out of home into a sharehouse, and spent way too much on disposable items, boths to celebrate my newfound independence and also to cheer myself up during a very hard graduate year. I remember having about ten dollars collectively across all my bank accounts as twenty twenty yearrolled in and act having to borrow money from my mum to

get me through to my next paycheck. Since then, I've made it my goal to use this year to get my emergency savings into action, and I've cut back and budgeted so much that I've saved my first thousand dollars basically ever in just over a month because I was sick of being broke. I find that my family's money stories have motivated me. I don't want to have to

rely on anyone else, especially as I get older. I also know I need to be in a good financial position because it is likely my sister and I will one day need to step in and help my parents financially. Take note one, money stories are the subconscious and conscious beliefs and values about money and prosperity that we develop early in our lives.

upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of money. Sheper pty Ltd ABN three two one six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine