Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today's Friday, which means it is time to get the team together and celebrate you how incredible She's on the Money community. Today, we're going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We're going to talk about International Women's Day. We're also going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about how to set yourself up financially
for a divorce. And we're going to unpack something for slid into my dams, then made it to my TikTok, made it to the Instagram reels, which this week is all about bridesmaids and who should be paying for what? But before we get there, miss Jessica Ricci, what are you most excited about this week International Women's Day?
Are you actually excited?
I'm so excited because people don't realize I think how long it takes us to work on something right. For the background, We've been playing for this twelve months, literally since International Women'sday last year finished.
It's so bad, like it's all we talk about in the background.
But I'm so excited about it, I know.
And this week we announced all of the guests for all four of the cities, which we have been absolutely dying to share with every.
For cities, which is absolutely wild And I'm genuinely so excited because, as you said before, we do so much planning in the background to make the most of IWD, and I feel like we did a pretty good job of it last year. But guess what, we only did that in three months. Now We've got twelve months as
a lead time, so pressures on for the team. It has to be bigger, it has to be better and we couldn't be more grateful because our friends and the incredible team at Chasea's this year are helping us bring it to life. As you guys know, we have doubled the number of cities we're able to visit this year, so we'll be heading to Melbourne City, Brisbane and Perth.
And given the event is.
All about celebrating and empowering women, we are so proud to be able to work with partners like Chasea's who genuinely embody the same values as She's on the money. And guess what we've got our fingers crossed because a little bird told me Jessica, one of their powerhouse CEOs Brook Roberts, might just be joining us for the events.
I'm so excited. She's the coolest person ever. You've hung out with her quite a bit. I am obsessed with her. Guess what had to hang out with her? And just Cinda r Dern in the same.
Room, like Mike drop dream that you look really excited, so excited you just threw your hands in the air when silent I did.
I didn't know ifel was laud to talk yet, Hello everybody, and that.
Sounds so exciting.
Is actually so exciting I get to go to Perth, Like, how wild is that? I remember last year when we were planning it, Jess, We're talking about where we could go and what that would look like, and we just did Melbourne and Sydney because that was like for us the easiest because I operated out of Sydney a lot.
And I was like, I know it.
They're like, you know it was pushing the budget. I said to the girls. I was like, oh, I'll probably be a few years before we're able to get all the way over to Perth, like your build will build. Guess where we're going this year? Perth?
That is wild to me and person being kicking off for it. You guys had the highest ticket sale, not.
That it's a competition, is leaning the way, which is really really cool. West super pumped to get out there. What are you most excited for back, I'm really excited.
To actually leave Melbourne. This is so exciting. May just hear through the free ticks. I really am.
And I don't know if it's obvious yet, but I have obviously no financial knowledge, so I really am here for the travel path.
Yeah, and you're a woman and you want to be empowered. I do want to be empowered and experience. Speaking of empowered women, miss JESSICRICI, can you take us through our community money wins this week?
Absolutely, I can. I've got some really good ones for you this week, guys. My first one comes from Lauren who said another money win, which is actually a fortnightly win, is using funky food to.
Buy our veggies. It's Ony Food.
I pick this win because I loved the name. It's forty two dollars for the box and it has expensive stuff like ginger and garlic. I also share the extras I get with my in laws. It's for the Brisbane area only, but it saves us money and it means we don't buy extra fruit or vege except for maybe stuff like lemon. So I think it's a box where you get the like mismatched fruit. You know, you sometimes
get the ugly food. So it's like a box of that that stuff that maybe the supermarkets wouldn't take because it's not esthetically pleasing, but it's still delicious and that's what its for box.
How good is that?
Yeah?
And you'll probably get the in there that you'd never think to even buy. It like a custard apple or something like that.
I love cust apples. Actually, what is it. I've never actually bought one. It's an apple that tastes like custard. They're kind of texturally sort of like a peach, like a peach. Yeah, this is where I thought this was. I thought it was.
Actually I thought costed apples or the soft ones, aren't they?
I think they are?
Yeah, so like kind of I maybe I'm anyway maybe right.
Along when hold on, no, no, we going back to this.
When you said funky fruit, I was like, oh, is it like a little bit off? But then I remember then recently I have been buying the odd bunch so at the supermarket they do like these big bags of limes and stuff, and they're like eight bucks. And it's actually so much more cost efficient to be buying the odd bunch of things because they don't look one hundred percent right, but they are like they might just have a mark, or they might just be all lumped together.
And I don't mind. I'm just putting one and.
Tea over here so they don't squish it anyway. Tastes delicious no matter what shape it is. The next win that I have comes from Dosy Dosy, who said I wanted to buy the first she's on the money book and I finally decided to buy and I only paid nine.
Dollars nine dollars.
I used my ten dollars fly buyers dollars to pay for the remaining amount. Money Win is I have not only saved money, but I'm going to kick my money goals in twenty twenty three.
Yes, you absolutely are. I love that win very wholesome.
Next one is from Kayler, who said money Win, I've made the decisions stop getting my nails done professionally. I love getting my nails done and it has been thirteen hundred dollars per annum for the past eight years. Wow, quick maths on that.
Anybody that's over ten thousand dollars, Yeah, that's a lot of money.
That is a lot of money.
We've been doing our nails from home for a while now, and you're pretty good at it.
Don't look at my one finger, no polish on it right now. But it does save so much money. And Kayla said, I was influenced to purchase a nail kit on Instagram during the Black Friday sales. It was around two hundred dollars and it claims to give you around forty cents averaging at five dollars percent. So every year I'm going to save one thy two hundred and fifty dollars.
See that's really good.
And I really like actually doing my nails now I've gotten into the groove of it. It's like a really nice self care activity that I do in front of the TV.
Yeah.
Yes, it does take me much longer than it does. It is so satisfying clipping your own cuticles.
And you can buy cute stickers if you're not very good at nail art, because that's me, Like, I'm not doing fancy things. We're just painting the polish on. You can buy stickers and then it looks like you did a good job when really we just stuck.
It on the amount of people to compliment me or my nail stickers, they're like love yourn mail art, and I just smile and nod taking that credit.
Next win that I have comes from it, Debbie, she said, tiny unexpected money win. I started my application for a new passport a month ago. I went to the post office today, the last day before the application expired, to finish off the process. Passport fees actually have increased since the first of January.
What hasn't increased since the first of January cost of.
Living or cozy living cozy something I heard someone called on TikTok cozy living.
Yeah rough, because I'm millennial.
I know, Debbie said, But because I started the application last year, I still pay the old feed.
Oh money win.
So that's big win. And anyone who's look at getting a passport.
Should have done that last year.
Literally last week that I have today comes from Karen, who said, I've been paying an amount fortnightly towards my utilities, and I got the best charged this month. It was only eight dollars and twenty four cents.
Hey you because she broke the cost down.
She's just been paying it off over time, and then all she had left to pay was eight bucks.
Money win.
I love that, and I loved all of those money wins. Let's go to a quick break. But on the other side of the break, we're going to talk about how to set yourself up financially for a divorce. We're also going to be talking about the spicy topic of who should be paying fore bridesmaid's dresses. So don't go anywhere, guys, it's going to be a good one.
Welcome back everybody. I feel like we all know what it's time for money dilemma.
Let's get into it.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, my name is Tina, and I am wondering about how do you financially go about setting yourself up after separation and divorce, Like pay your bills, pay the rents for yourself? How you do that by yourself? Again, Like, how do you get in the mindset of like being financially independent from miss spouse's income.
I feel like this one is something that we don't talk about enough. We always talk about preparing to go into a divorce. We always talk about, you know, having an emergency fund and making sure it's there. But life changes so significantly when you go from having a double income and you and your partner are paying for things to it all being on your shoulders and all being your responsibility, And I think that that actually does require
a completely different setup. I do think you need to kind of wipe the budget clean, per se and then go back to the drawing board, because money just doesn't come out of nowhere when you go through a divorce, like you actually have to find it and budget for it, and things that you could previously afford unfortunately might become a little bit of a luxury, especially in the first twelve months while you're finding your feet. Jess, how would you deal if you went down to one income all of a sudden.
I feel like it's a really big lifestyle shift, kind of on two fronts. Like you're obviously adjusting to living your life without this person who theoretically you've been really heavily intertwined with for however long you know, maybe you have kids, or you have pets, or you had a house,
or on some level you have shared responsibilities. But then also you have double the income, or you have two streams of income at least, and now you're going down to one, So it means that you're probably going to be grappling with. Firstly, I guess all of the emotional stuff that comes with a divorce, which I don't want to gloss over too quickly because I think it is just as impactful to somebody as the financial side of things.
But then you're also having to adjust to the facts that maybe you can't afford to get your nails done every couple of weeks now, or maybe you can't afford to go on a holiday every year now because before, when you had those two incomes, you had more room, whereas now that it's just you and I believe our listener said she.
Had kids, Yeah, it's hard.
That's a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. And I mean we don't know the semantics of her. Is their child support or is their SHEHD custody? You know, all
of those things are going to those factor in. But I feel like, as you said, starting from scratch and going what have I got coming in and just focusing on what you're doing rather than what you're now X may or may not be contributing, is probably helpful because I feel like you can only focus on the factors that you can control, right, Yeah, And.
It can be really stressful because, as you said before, it's a lifestyle shift as much as it's a you know, something that you've got to get used to. It's not just an increase in bills. It's like, well, where is that double going to come from? What do you reckon? What if you broke up with a partner, how would you deal with doubling the expenses? Where would you begin?
Oh?
God, I don't even know. I know that, like, as someone who is living in a single income household, I kind of just know already that I probably won't be able to afford to buy a house in the future or buy an apartment, like maybe I could, but it just seems a lot more hard and so far out of my reach. So I feel like if I wasn't a place where I was living with someone we had shared expenses to incomes, and then we separated, I feel like now I'm fully equipped for that kind of lifestyle.
But then again, I don't know what it's like to have children have these shared responsibilities and have I don't know, maybe they like own a house or rent a large house together.
That would just be so difficult. Where do you even start to untangle that?
You know?
I also think it's a little bit about goal resetting as well, because you know, before you said beck like at this point in my life, like, I'm not sure buying a property makes sense to me. But if you found a partner and then you guys go, oh, well, actually we can now afford it, and you're working towards this goal and you fall in love with this goal and get so excited about it, then you don't have
a partner anymore. That reality shift is also a lot to swallow, I think, and I don't think we talk about, you know, the disappointment of not having your expected reality happen, even if it hadn't happened already, like you might not have bought the house, but you were working towards it. Now you only have half the savings and it's actually
not a reality in the future for you. I think often that can be really disappointing, and we take that on ourselves a lot, and we just assume our wholes because I'm not good enough or I don't earn enough, or I don't do that, and it's like, no, it's twenty twenty three. It's got nothing to do with been good enough for working hard enough. The world is going
absolutely crazy. And I've great a statistic the other day that said the median house price today in Melbourne, which is where we all are right now today is twenty one times what it was in nineteen eighty one, and wages have only gone up six times.
I feel like that puts it in.
Perspective as to how unobtainable property has now become. And it's something that you know, if you then have a duel income and you've worked towards it, like that would be heartbreaking to lose because I think that you get to a point in your I don't want to say career, but you get to a point in your life where if you've saved enough and property is on the vision board and it is something that you're going to achieve to then have that knocked oubt you kind of go.
No, no, no, it's still going to happen.
I'm going to make it happen, and it might not actually be the best financial decision ever, which is why I think going back to the drawing board and going well before, like what you said, just what do I have coming in? What do I have to you know,
have going out? And where can I start? Because we can earn more income, you could create a side hustle, you could get a different job, But all of those things are really dependent on whether it's actually appropriate for you to do that or even accessible for you to do that with small kids. So I just feel like the best advice was actually what you said, Jess, and that's just going back to the absolute basics.
Yeah, And the other thing i'd maybe encourage beck you said before, you feel like you would be really equipped to live that way because that's your current reality, but maybe that's not the case for someone. Kind of going back there, I would really encourage our community member to rely on the resources around her, like talk to your friends, like we're a great resource, and I'm so happy that you wrote into us because we're here to support you
one hundred percent. But talk to your friends. Be honest with your friends around your financial situation. If you can't afford to go to dinner, tell them that. I think there's a lot of shame that people unintentionally carry around lifestyle change and around not feeling like they have a lot of money. And I think the people around you love you, and I know that it can be hard to see if you're going through a time like this, but be.
Honest with them.
They're there to help you, they're there to support you, and I feel like it's a really great resource to have that you can rely on if you need it.
Just before we move on, I do want to acknowledge that some people may be in a position, potentially this listener where she didn't have any you know, goals like buying a house, or she never actually went to go get her nails done, or already was at a point where there are people out there who are already at a point where they are at the basics, just living their day to day life, just not splurging on anything.
So kind of taking the advice of going back to the basics might not be super useful or even accessible for some people because they might already be there and then to have that income cut in half would just be like such a struggle. So I guess in that instance, just taking advantage of the resources that you have available to you know, like send the link or government resources.
That chat to them, chat to them, so nice.
Exactly, there are things out there to help you.
Another great resource we talk about all the time on She's on the Money is the National Debt Help Line, and we love them. You don't have to be in significant debt to talk to them. They have a whole heap of really beautiful financial counselors who can actually help you on your journey. But yeah, that's a really good call out and one that absolutely is appreciated in this space.
Thank you, Beck, Thank you.
All Right now, we're going to move on to what I think is a relatively spicy topic. And given the engagement I've gotten over the last week on my TikTok and on my Instagram related to this and Jess the hate messages I've come from brides who are real salty at me, I think this is a really good place to land. Usually would read out, you know a little bit of a community concern or a dilemma here, and like address it as a team and bring to the
tablesome community responses. But this week I uploaded a TikTok and it kind of went a little bit crazy. So just drop it here so you guys can all catch up and be on the same page. Controversial opinion from me as somebody who has just gotten married. I genuinely think that if you're getting married, you shouldn't be making the bridesmaids pay for their own dress, their own hair,
their own makeup, or any expenses. From my perspective, if you've got a bridesmaid and you want a bridesmaid in your wedding, I think that's your cost, not somebody else's cost. To factor into their budget when they have bigger goals and values and aspirations to achieve.
It sounds privileged.
But if you can't afford to have ten bridesmaids, don't have ten bridesmaids.
All right, So T or DR.
I clearly don't believe that bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.
Beck, if you're in a wedding, would.
You expect the bride to be paying for the dress or are you going to front up that cost?
Luckily I've never been in this situation before, so but I would say if I were to be a bridesmaid, I would not be in any financial position to be able to afford a several hundred dollars dress. So I would hope that the bride would be definitely buying that one for me.
Yeah, one hundred percent.
I just you know, I won't harp on about it because I clearly have it already. But I just cannot comprehend that I would go my goal is now your financial responsibility.
That blows my mind. Jess, what are your thoughts.
It's such like a catch twenty two because I think the norm over the past, however long, has definitely been that the bride'smaid wears that cost.
I guess it's up for debate.
If you're expecting your bride's maids to wear thousand dollar designer dresses and really extensive designer shoes and you need them to get their hair done and their makeup done
like that to me is ludicrous. I do think I have seen people do it in the past much more conservatively, so like you don't have to have your hair or makeup done professionally to be in a well of course, you know, so taking that expense off the table, is there something in their closet that fits the color palette of your wedding that they could wear, or you know, if you have a color palette, is there something that
they would be comfortable buying at their price points? You can, I guess, do it in a way where it's not as extreme. But I do think it's ludicrous to put the expectation on people that they have to invest hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding. The only other thing I guess you could do to kind of negate the cost is if you were having them buy address
at a more affordable price point. If I was the bride, I guess I would be saying, well, that's your wedding gift to me, Like I wouldn't expect anything else a source of course, But yeah, like I think as things get bigger and bigger and people become more extravagant, it's ridiculous to expect people to invest in a day that's not about them, you know.
It's about you.
Yeah, And having just gotten married. The idea that I would ask my bridesmaids one of you know, contextualizing it.
I've got my little sister.
Can't imagine asking her to buy anything because she's my little sister. I had a bridesmaid that traveled internationally. Can't imagine asking her to also front up any type of cost. I already felt bad that she was willing to, you know, spend on international flights. And then my other best friend who had just had a baby and bought a new house, Like I cannot comprehend asking them to front up for my financial goal or the wedding of my dreams, because
it's not their responsibility. A good friend, thank you, thank you, but I just don't think it should take a good friend. And the comments from online I found really interesting as well, because on TikTok they're very international, so lots were coming from Europe and they're like, what are you talking about? Bridesmaids never pay for their own dresses. Comments from America are like, what do you mean I could never pay for twelve bridesmaids dress?
I say down, I don't even have that many friends.
And then it seems to be in Australia a little bit of a mix between bride's paying and then bride's maids paying, and I just I think we need to be talking about this a little bit more openly and honestly, because I think the wedding industry is all about like the glitz and the clamor and making it look beautiful and there's these massive expectations, but like behind it is money, and money is stressful, and money is not something that
absolutely everybody has access to, especially if you're budgeting or you're a UNI student, and it just blows my mind. So I thought what we could do is go through a couple of the comments that happened on my TikTok, and you guys can tell me what you think. Yes, please, so someone or my I'm not going to read out names because I don't want to name names. But someone said I forked out over two thousand dollars everything for an ex friend's wedding. Never again.
That's the other thing.
What happens if you're like the maid of honor and then in three years time you're not friends anymore.
Oh my gosh, it's so bad, so bad, two thousand dollars.
True, grand I just say no, like I actually, like if someone turned around to me and said I need you, I just say I'm so sorry I can't be your brides back.
That's absurd, I agree.
But then there were comments like this one that said I bear the brun of the cost, but I didn't want to. I just didn't have the balls to tell the bride I couldn't afford it. And I feel like it drives a wedge between you and your friend sometimes, like if I asked you to be my bridesmaid, obviously, like I just want you there. Maybe I haven't thought about the financial aspect of it. I want you to stand beside me on what is meant to be quote and this is not true at all, especially one who's
gotten married the biggest day of your life. Like I get where they're coming from when they ask you, but to then say no sorry, Like, I don't think they're going to take it that way. So I think this is why we really need to crack the shell a little bit around these conversations, because it's kind of like if you're asking someone to be your bridesmaid. It's kind of like inviting somebody out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. If I go, oh, hey, Jess, do you want to
come out to this really fancy restaurant with me? And you go yeah, yeah, No worries like is that not my responsibility to then pay because I invited you?
Now that's another topic. Would that be? I don't know what I would say to that, but I would say split it.
You would say split it if I invited you to arrest. I think it's about expectations and actually having that conversation up front, and maybe not making your bridesmaids agree to being a bridesmaid before they know all of the expectations that are on them, because let's think about the bigger expectations on brides hen's parties.
Yeap, who pays for that? That's a good question. I actually don't know who pays for that.
So a comment that came from one of my girlfriend's cat spanty's account, so she took my TikTok put it on her Instagram stories.
They went wild.
They then replied to her story and said, I'm a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding this September and we all have to pay for the hens. The maid of honor has planned the whole thing, and we are all having to pay eight hundred dollars each for the weekend. There are five of us. No, that's ridiculous, right, how have.
Where do you just get that money from? It's insane. You paid for your hands.
I paid for a lot of it, actually, Like I ended up paying for the house rental that we had, and I ended up getting cash to give to my bridesmaids because I felt uncomfortable with the idea that they would be footing the cost. I like said to them, look, I know this isn't how it usually goes. I think people usually pay for it and organize something within their budget. But here's you know, tell me what you want to do and I'll get it all locked in. Make sure
that it's not your financial burden. But that's because let's remember, I'm she's on the money. Like I feel like all I do is think about money and think about other
people's financial circumstances. So I don't expect everybody to be on that same page, right And I'm not saying that this is the expectation, but I do absolutely have the belief that if you are going to have your wedding, and you're going to create a wedding budget, which we are releasing very soon, my version of a wedding budget in that budget is your bridesmaid's dresses, your bridesmaid's shoes. If you expect them to have professional hair and makeup,
that is your cost. If you have groomsmen, that is your cost. And we need to think about these things because they add up. They're not just something where you go, i'd really like to have dress in my bridal party.
Yeah, she can pay for that.
Yeah, But to me, that is wild to think that that would then become her burden and her responsibility. So I won't go on and on about this, but there is another one thing that came up in comments that really grinds my gear.
Are you ready? I'm so ready?
All right?
So it's this idea that ah and this is probably a little bit spicy, but oh no, no, no, My bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but they can wear them again.
That gives me such strong twenty seven dresses vibes.
Have you seen me?
Yes? Like, where are they wearing a bridesmaid's dress again?
Like?
Please tell me?
And if it's a dress they really really wanted to wear again and again and it's going to go into their capsule wardrobe on repeat? Was it not already in their wardrobe?
That's very true? Why is it not already there? Where is it? Where is it?
Oh? You're making them buy it and you think, oh, they'll wear it again, so you've justified to yourself. Oh I put that cost on Jess, but she's gonna wear it again.
Where the next wedding sugar freewear, don't care?
Actually, speaking of rewear, don't care. This has obviously become Victoria's wedding talk. So sit down, are you ready?
I'm ready?
My best friend deaf. Her wedding I am so full of and excited about. It is later this year and she is getting married overseas.
Can't wait.
Really excited about that one. But she's getting her bridesmaids to wear my bridesmaid's dresses, so we just like.
We're wearing them. Oh great, isn't that genius?
So I'm going to wear the dress that's staff ward to my wedding and she's going to be in her wedding dress. And I just think that what person around comes right perfect.
Does she have the same bridesmaids as you had? Yeah, because we have no other friends. So it's like, I really it's a solid idea. That's a money way.
So she's like, I really liked the white bridesmaids, Like would you mind? And I'm like, heck no, Like let's reach that makes absolute sense. So anyway, I think that's genius.
I love that.
So if you see a friend that has bridesmaids dresses that you like, why not reach out and see if you can buy them secondhand or borrow them or do something along those lines, just to make it a little bit cheaper because they are so expensive.
So interesting, and if you want to have those conversations with us.
You do, you absolutely do?
You do? Follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok where she's on the money aus on Instagram and she's on the money on TikTok where having some spicy stuff come out. Victoria really getting in there, aren't you?
Yeah, like literally getting in there. I feel like it's really important, though, to have those conversations because it just seems so unreasonable to me that I would continually be expected to pay for other people's weddings and then, on top of that, be expected to bring a gift, Like to me, it's wild. And that's coming from somebody whose literal love language is gift giving, Like I'm obsessed with gift giving. I don't think anyone could deny that, like
that is something that I adore. But I think it's also this flipped narrative of, well, what if I couldn't afford it, I would then find a way to budget that I could afford it, and thus forego one of my financial goals to prioritize yours.
And I don't think that's fair.
No, So anyway we might wrap it there, because we are quickly running out of time, so guys, that is all we have time for today. Have a very very happy Friday next week.
See you next week.
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