Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast here to make your year end on a high note, even if your budget had a few plot twists along the way. It's quite all right, you know what it it is?
What day is it be?
It's Christmas?
Christmas Day.
While the presents are unwrapped, the pavlover is in the fridge right now as we speak, and the family debates over monopoly are hopefully on Paul.
No, they're not like my family's going to write over Katan. We don't play monopoly. We play Katan. Yes we are savage.
I like playing logo quiz.
I can actually spoil it now because it's Christmas Day, but I bought the expansion packs for my family for that time for Christmas. That's an idea, right, that's really great.
I'm going to pull it out today as well. So we're taking him over to reflect on something even more precious. How we spent our time, our money, and our energy this year. That's love is awesome. So today we're unwrapping the Gift of Reflection VD. And I couldn't think of a better person to dive into this with than the woman who somehow balances budgets, businesses and baby bottles Victoria Divine.
Oh, I've never watched a baby bottle. Honestly, my husband does all of that, so that's exactly how. But I'm excited about this. I was talking about this on Instagram the other day and I didn't achieve a lot of my personal goals this year, which I feel like people look at me and they go shut up, the like you're so successful. Yeah, But I wrote a list and I checked it twice and then I didn't do anything
on it. It's okay, which is fine. Because this year I approached every single situation with grace and kindness, and that's the bare minimum exactly. At the end of the day, a lot of people can't say they did the same. No, you can definitely like not check things off your list, but if you're kind to yourself, you've won. Today we'll be chatting about how reflecting on the past year can set you up for success and the next. And I've got a few juicy questions light up to do intervd's
own highlights and lessons from this year. So should we start with why reflection is so important? Does it really help us make my decisions? Or is it just another thing to add to our to do list? Maybe it's just like another thing to add to how to do list. If you type a like me, you like adding things to you to do lists like it makes you fee accomplished, So take it however you want. But reflections are so
incredibly important. Beck, It's not just I don't know, a little feel good reflection, but more because they're backed by solid psychology. You know, I love a little bit of research. So I'm comeing to the table with the receipts when I'm coming you know, of course, taking time to reflect on your year. It's not actually just about like telling up all you ins and then all your losses. It's about giving your brain the space to process, learn and grow,
which is kind of nice. So the first thing I want to touch on here is memory, consolidation and learning. So that's the heading I've written for myself, and then there's nothing under it, so who knows what I'm about to say, So it's just like watch it fall out, but reflecting on what has worked for us financially and then personally then what hasn't and why it's going to help create mental shortcuts for making better decisions in the future, Like why didn't that work for you? Oh it didn't
work because ABC? Okay cool, So like have we learned something from this? You'd be like, yeah, actually I have. Yeah, I'm not going to approach something like that again this way. I'm going to do it this way. I want you to think of it as kind of like rewiring your brain to be your own personal finance coach. Like that's a good deal, Like I want a personal finance coach that I don't have to pay money, which's in here exactly. You're not the biggest book person in the Nie but
I am. There's a book by Norman Deutsche and it is called The Brain That Changed Itself And it is so interesting if you're not going to like read it back audio book it like I listened to it, but it talks about this concept of neuroplasticity. It's just very cool. It's like about these people with brain damage who forget how to walk and then they're like thrown in the deep end of being taught how to walk again. But this idea that your brain has a certain way of learning.
So if you were a baby and you were learning to walk, you would first learn to crawl, and then you would learn to like, you know, stand up assisted, and then you would learn to walk right, whereas people historically who have gotten injured and have to learn to walk again, they are just taught to walk immediately, and that is often not the best way of doing things because your brain needs to create absolutely brand new neural
pathways to be able to do these things. So like, wouldn't it make sense to do the progression again?
Yeah?
Right, Yeah, So it's an interesting concept, but it's essentially this concept called neuroplasticity, where the brain adapts and optimizes itself over time, because if one neural pathway is not working or it is destroyed, you can actually create another one. Talking about like walking here because for me that's probably
the best example. But if you have an accident and something happens to your brain, Beck, and you've forgotten how to walk because that bond in your brain of hey, Beck, this is how you wire your body to walk has been broken. You need to either rebuild that or create another neural pathway. And starting from the start makes the
most sense. So it's kind of like being able to identify what is and isn't working for you so that you can create new pathways or celebrate the ones that you have that are working really well.
It's a really good way to look at it.
I think it's really fun. But like you have to crawl before you can walk, yes, And I think that that's a fun thing to do as well, because it just really reminds you that, yeah, you might not have achieved this, but did we actually start where we needed to start. The other thing I've written down here is reflection taps into metacognition, or the ability to think about our own thinking.
Okay, I'm going to have to get that broken.
Down, think about your own thinking. Yep. So studies have actually shown us that by engaging in reflective practices. He sounded hippie dippy at the start, but I promise it's real research.
I love it.
It boosts self awareness and it improves future performance. Yes, so by recognizing and internalizing patterns, we effectively become better at coaching ourselves towards making strategic decisions.
Yes.
So we're thinking about the way that we're thinking, and that helps us think clearer.
I get that.
I am just like investing the money that our money makes makes money. It's like your brain is braining, and then if you brain properly, you'll be able to brain more.
Yeah.
Put that on a T shirt and wear it.
Yeah, we really are. Our brains are really remarkable.
But brains are so crazy to think that. I'm in my own head thinking about my own head.
Now, where you're sitting, you're perceiving the room a different way I'm perceiving, right.
And how do we know that something looks different to one of us exactly? Like? How did you work out that people were color blind? Yes, well that's like, oh that's a really nice red light and the red light where how doing exactly?
Huh?
I need to do a lot more research, but back onto this. So, yes, it's important because by understanding why you're making certain decisions back whether they were great or maybe they could use a little bit of work, we are actually empowering ourselves to approach the future with clarity and confidence, which I think is important. It's not about being perfect, like nobody needs to be perfect and none
of us are perfect. It's about learning from the messy bits and then celebrating the moments where we freakin haled it, like we need to celebrate ourselves.
Yes, so what if someone is hypothetically sitting there and thinking, mayu's mess where do we even start? How do I it passes? When it all kind of like feels like one big blur.
Don't worry, beck, don't worry. Next year is a new year. Twenty twenty thrive, Yes, twenty thrives so lame. But also reflecting doesn't have to be this like big gog whelming arduous task. It's about creating a little space where we can just be honest about a year. It's like when you do budgets and you know how I say, like, don't judge yourself, Like, what's the point in that if you sit down and you're going to look at your budget and be like, oh, I'm so bad, I'm not
good at usbec okay, cool. So this was an exercise in making ourselves feel like trash about our situation, yea? Or is it an exercise in identifying what's going on so that we can create a clear plan for the future, Like just draw a line and sand I don't want to hear all of the junk where you question yourself and say that you're bad at things. You're not. You just didn't have a plan, Like people are like, oh my god, I'm so bad at money. V No, you're not.
You just didn't have a framework. What I want you to do when it comes to thinking about your year is find a moment ask yourself, beck what worked this year?
Right?
What didn't work? What did you learn? Do you feel icky about anything? Do you feel really good about anything? What are they? Don't overthink it. It's not perfection. No one else has to look at this, by the way, like you could even burn the note after if you're like, oh, I don't really want to write it.
Yeah.
I got asked the other day like v do you journal? And I was like, absolutely not. I'd end up in jail, like you would use that stuff in a court of law against me. I can't write it down what happens in here. I don't need you to be perving on it. I want you to go to my bedside table and pick it up and be like, holy gua a moment, she is as cooked as we thought she was.
Whenever I like try to journal, I always write in a way where I travel I might read, Yeah, I'm trying to be cool. I do the same thing though, and I'm like, no one's gonna relate, but what diary. Yeah it's not a big deal or anything. But I just save someone's life, you know. I'm just trying to be really cool and really like not too like dramatic, but.
I wouldn't want to actually put my real feelings down on if somebody reads, it's really not the point of the journaling. Yeah, yeah, you have to put that down, but you can burn it later if you really want to. We can destroy the evidence. Yes, we can get rid of it. But it's actually about being curious, like what did you start thinking about jot it down? The goal is really simple. We want to spot the lessons and celebrate the winds and let the rest go exactly right.
So this is kind of in the same vein, But I'll just know that, like I get to the end of the year, I'm reflecting, I'm looking at the things that didn't work, and when I'm writing up new things, I'll be like, Okay, we know the motivation is fleeting. We know that we're going to get to a point where my motivation here for one moment, gone forever exactly, and I'm just like, Okay, next week, I'm going to feel completely different. Next week, I'm going to be really unmotivated.
I'm going to predict the really crappy feelings, the ones that lead me astray from my goals, and be like, when I feel that way, and I know I will, I'm going to do X y Z. So you just could be honest about you might not stick to tease, but what are you going to do when you feel like not sticking to them anymore? Anyway, back onto the topic. When we are thinking about this, should we like at least acknowledge that twenty twenty four was a year, which
is start by acknowledging it was this year. I mean you took over as the sole owner of Zella, which is incredible. God you released not one but two books.
Yeah in one year, that was pretty big sleigh for me.
Yeah, you created an entire investing master class, started churning out four podcast episodes.
We're actually unhinged? Yeah, yeah, you're unhinged? Is this like a call Victoria out?
Least it is? And also if that wasn't enough, the most important thing you went on a holiday. You went a holiday, and you created a whole new life.
I had a baby that's actually unhinged.
I'm tired, just as myself.
I'm just sick of my own I know, I'm sick of it straight in the being. It's an exposed and that's why I feel a little bit embarrassed when I'm like, oh, I didn't really achieve my goals list, and like I want to share my honest feelings about you know, hey, this is what's going on, this is how I'm feeling, rah are. But then also you do stuff like that and you make me look really bad. Like all of that makes me look great, But then I'm like, I didn't achieve my goals and people are going to be
like shot up Victoria. Sure you do have every We also have a whole team behind me, right, Like I did write two books, that's fantastic. But do you really think I sat there and wrote the entire investing masterclass in isolation and then built a whole online platform, like I have a team behind me. Will be so sick of me, but like it takes a village and I'm very very lucky for that. So yes, my plate was
very full, very grateful. But there's so much stuff I want to do next year, Like next year is the year of Zella love that.
What about me?
You can come along for the ride. I mean I'm still here literally every day.
Perfect. Okay, that's very company with everything you had on your plate? Here, what's the biggest lesson twenty twenty four taught you a boy yourself?
Well, I have a couple of lessons, but I did sign an NDA, so I'm just going to share the ones that I can share. Okay, that makes it sound so much more. Yeah, I saw that on TikTok the other day. Someone was like, what if somebody asks about like a break in your career, Like they're like, oh, Beck, you weren't employed for six months? Here, what happened, just say I could talk about it, but I signed an NDA.
Oh that is so cool.
Wouldn't that be funny?
That's cool.
Can you imagine interviewing somebody and then going, I can't talk about that. I signed an NDA. That is really cool, So funny anyway, complete side note, what was my biggest lesson? Do you know what my biggest lesson was? And this is hard, right, it's two things. I feel like I trust too easily, but I don't think that that's a bad thing. I think at the start of this year, I was like, this is a terrible thing. I trust everyone too easily and I shouldn't. But I think that's
actually a really good personality trait. Although hard, I think I learned that I can do it on my own. So like I think for a very long time, I have thought that I need other people to help me along my journey. I need other people to come in and I can't possibly do this on my own. I need, you know, a hand to hold or something to do. And I'm actually completely capable of doing it on my own.
I obviously say this every year, but like it's about the process, not perfection, and like done is much better than perfect. So I've learned that. I've also learned that I probably put too much pressure on myself. But then what else have I learned? My instincts aren't wrong.
You gotta trust that femtuition.
Yeah, like it's bad. But like if you think something's off, Yeah, even when you ask and they say no, no, no, no, thing's off, I'm all good. Nah, if you felt that something was off, something's off.
I gotta agree.
Your body knows, and I don't know how it knows. And the more I feel like I tune into that, the more I am learning about that. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm gonna like launch a universe podcast or something in twenty twenty five and go full hipidi. But like, I genuinely think you need to trust your intuition. If your first reaction is this is not good, I promise
it's not. I've heard about like this bride who just kept getting sick and just like she already kind of knew there was something wrong with the relationship she was in, but then there was the engagement. There's all this gift sharing, you know, all this stuff. Everything was coming up, everything was coming up, and she.
Kept getting sick and she did find out that something is wrong. So I feel like your body knows trust your body trust you in sick.
I feel like it's really good. Trusting your gut is really important. Like I always say that. Then I wasn't doing it ikey, but like, oh my god, everyone feels ikey doing this, Like this is such a big decision.
It's hard to kind of distinguish.
There might be a reason for that. So like it's hard academically right, like, oh, I'm working so hard full stop, but like if there is a process and there's so much friction getting something across the line, maybe it's not meant to happen.
I agree. So with so much going on, how did you manage to balance the demands of work, motherhood, and just you know, like being a human. Was there a moment where you say okay something, Yes, a lot of tears, I'm sorry to hear.
I feel like that's normal. Like if I feel overwhelmed, sometimes I just crack and I didn't feel fry, like you know when you're just like, oh my god, do this. It doesn't happen that often, to be honest, doesn't happen at work. You're welcome, But I think it's you're allowed though, Yeah, like something's got to give. I think I was very good at foreseeing that this year would be a big year for us at work, knowing I was having a baby. We did a lot of pre planning to make sure
that we knew how this was going to go. But like, I think it was just a challenging year as a whole, and like that's not a bad thing. It has been the best year of my entire life at the same time as one of the worst. Yeah, so like best year. I am a mum. Do you know how obsessed I am with my kid? Like I was born to be
a mom. This is the best. Like I could not sell it to you harder beck, Like I'm not saying that it's for everybody, because someone the other day was like, I don't know, I'm sitting on the fence about having a baby, and I was like, don't do it. Yeah, Like it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. But it does change your life. Yeah, it doesn't mean like in a philosophical like oh my god, it's life changing way, Like literally every single day looks very different
to what it did twelve months ago. Like my entire life revolves around this tiny human and I don't want it anyway. Yelse, Like I don't want to change that. It's a big decision.
You gotta want it.
Then on the flip side, oh my lord, business life is hard, Like you know, I'm not going to get too far into it, but I had a business partner leave and that was obviously incredibly challenging. Finding that out when I was very, very pregnant was not great. Having to take over a business when I had a literal newborn was incredibly challenging. All of those things could have been avoided with some good planning and communication. But you get what you get, and you don't get upset.
Do you bet? Well, that's exactly right.
It is what it is.
I feel like we've just barely scraped the surface because it has been such a ride for you. But we have a lot of reflecting to do. We come back. I want to dive into some of the biggest curve balls of your year and hear what you've learned of my year.
Yeah, alright, I'm strapping in.
I mean I might have one or two. I don't think I do. Actually, don't go anywhere. Welcome back everyone before the break, we're chatting about all the incredible things you've tackled this year. V. But let's get into the juicy stuff.
What'd you see stuff? If you got to bring to the table, you just got a hot girlfriend. I'm so good at life. I'm thick. So you lucked out this year.
I did, like out was my redundant though.
Yeah, but then you got a better job.
I did get a better job. And I probably said this already on the show, but I was like sitting in like my cart, I just kind of like felt defeat. I didn't have any petrol to drive home. I didn't have the money. I didn't want to be that person, and so I was just like I said in my card, I.
Cried, tell me about this. Oh I'm so sorry. Yeah, it just breaks my heart.
I think that was my curve ball was just like I'm good at being broke. I've been broke for a long time, like not having much money, so it's a bit different when you're like, yeah, thanks, it changed. This was because it was like there is no money coming and there is no money left. And I was like I always borrow money from my friends, but at this point,
like my one friend who I lived. She had no money either, so we were kind of borrowing from each other at this point, and so I had nothing left and I was like, oh my god, I don't know what to do. I ended up calling my mom, which was lovely, and I was like, Okay, I've got Petrov get home, and now I'm just gonna like sell my life. So I was probably honestly, the reduci was my curve ball and I wanted only I'm very grateful to say that was all.
But then what happened, because we need to like it was like around twenty jobs, Yes, twenty jobs.
I do video producing on the side. I have this job, which I'm very grateful for. I just went back to the same company and better pay, better job, you know, all the good stuff.
So she's got two side hustles and a full time job. Yeah, glow up of the year.
I think you said it, but V back to you. Was there a moment this year where you took a risk or just followed your gut on something and it ended up paying off big time?
I feel like I should be giving fluffy answers here because I'm like, the real antser is a bit juicy, gossy tell us. I'm trying to think of something less juicy gossy, but like, you know what, I have the juicy gossy. I haven't done anything that I am not proud of. I have treated every situation with sometimes the kindness it did not deserve, sure, and the grace that if anyone were to say anything bad about me, they
would simply know that that wasn't the case. Like, I just am very proud of the way that I have dealt with a lot of things that have happened this year because I could have been a nasty pasty and I wasn't.
Well, I'm very proud of you.
Not that I would be, but a lot of people in my situation, I think would have been like bury it, do this, do that? Like I've gone a bit savage. I want to be able to look back on it and if I were sitting at the table with somebody, I can say I actually carried myself with ultimate grace, ultimate kindness, and you cannot say the same thing. And I think that that is what helps me, or has helped me get through a lot of this. I'm like, do you know what, I killed it with kindness? I
did so well? Yeah, and I guess one of the guest risks I took on this year was I purchased half of my mortgage broking business back off a business partner that I had that was not the right fit. It just wasn't working out. Wasn't the right fit, that is all I will say. And purchasing that back was a choice that was kind of forced, if that makes sense. Like they were leaving. It wasn't an option for them to stay. And at that time, I had the choice.
I could have hired someone to take on that role, right. I could have said, all right, I'm just going to go hire an external person, maybe like an office manager or like you know, a managing director or someone to come in and run that business. We had the funds to do so. But I think that I could just see that the way the business was running was not the way I wanted it to run. And nobody is you, right, Like, if I wanted to run the way that I wanted
to run, I have to frigg and run it. I have to jump in and do this and do that. And so I made the decision to take on, with a newborn baby, a full time job. And I am very grateful for my husband and the team and literally everybody who's afforded me the flexibility to be able to do that. But I have taken over the whole mortgage broking business and it is flying now, like it is exactly where I wanted it to be. Like we are starting twenty twenty five with more team members than we
had at this time last year. We've hired some incredible brokers. I don't know how do I explain it. I feel like the universe sometimes knows what you need, and I'd be like, I really want this like personality in my business and someone who's good at XYZ, and then all of a sudden, like for example, earlier this year, I was like, far out, I'd really like to find somebody
who's good at like commercial loans. So like we obviously specialize in mortgage broking, but we're always getting asked like, hey, v do you do commercial I was like yeah, like we technically can, but we don't have a specialist. And the perfect person just turns up and I was like, oh, I'd love to work for Zella and I was like sorry, what, Like HI, come this way. So that has been really good, And I think that the biggest risk was obviously taking
that role on. But also I'm not a mortgage broker, so I'm a non mortgage broker running a relatively large sized mortgage broking business all on my own. That's a risk. It's extremely mass risky, and it's working out so far. And I feel like I just knew in my gart enough is enough. I can do this all on my own. I don't need anybody else. Yep, and it's never been better.
I love that.
Is that bad? Is that too juicy or gossip? I don't know if you It's just just what it is, right, Like.
If you had known back when you're starting Zella what you know now, if you had the resources and the capacity and all this stuff, everything was perfect, would you have gone in alone or still?
Well, I did, I did so I started this business myself in twenty seventeen. So I started in twenty seventeen as a financial advice business and ran it on my own, did all of that fun stuff. Had mortgage brokers working for me, but I also have my financial advice team. When I was working as a financial advisor. In September twenty twenty two, I sold the financial advice of the business,
so I kept owning Zella. I still had a mortgage broking business, and I sold the financial advice business because I knew I was getting married two months after that, and I knew I wanted babies, and like something had to give, right, Like I cannot run a big financial advice business where I was the main advisor and have a podcast and have mortgage broking and do all of the stuff that I do, right, So sold that and decided at about that time I would bring in a
business partner to look after my mortgage broking business such at which point that kind of was established as a brand new entity to make sure that everything was clean and good. That's the business partner that's left. So it wasn't somebody who established Zella with me. It was someone who technically worked and was employed by Zella, but also had a shareholding in the business.
Understand, Okay, So then.
They exited, so I was technically the owner of like all of the other stuff. So it's not like I would have quote lost my business. It was intertwined or two tangle. No. No, And that's what a good shareholders agreement will do for you. Gosh, she's good.
So were there any moments this year where things like I know this is kind of what we're talking about, but like did you plan or obviously that y yes, like business podcasts or life and how everything. You can never plan anything, ye know, like you can plan to the nth degree, right, but that doesn't mean that your plan is going to work out. So I think just being flexible and going all right, well what can we
do instead? Or all right, no worries, Like in our industry there is always changing moving parts, like the way algorithms work, the way podcast measurement works, the way things actually eventuate.
It's always changing. And whether that is you know, oh far out, you know, in a couple of weeks, you know, Spotify are doing this, you know, highlight on a particul killer topic. So I want to make sure that my topic kind of aligns. Like you will change your podcast plan all the way through to changing staff members and whatnot, like you just roll with the punches. I feel, yeah, I feel like we're all just making it up still.
Absolutely, and also you just adapt, don't you.
Just just do what you got to do, but always lead with kindness is the plan that's gorgeous. I don't know if it is just like do good be good, Like, I can't imagine telling my grandma something that I wasn't proud of. You know, if I can't, if I couldn't tell my nana, shouldn't be doing it, should you?
Oh that's a really good way to look at it. Now she's in the money.
Oh yeah, I've heard of that.
Have you heard of that podcast?
Nah?
It's grown so much this year and the community feels stronger than ever I feel. So, was there a piece of feedback or a moment with a listener that really stuck with you?
I want to say yes, and I want to say no.
Sure, is that bad?
No?
It probably is because there's been so many of them. So it's not just like one moment that I'm like, this is the moment that I remember. It's like a collection. It's like a whole heap of like little memories from you know, doing money diaries and you know, jumping on zoom to record and then being like hey, just before we jump in. I just want to say that, like, my entire life has changed because if she's on the money, quite what running into people at the zoopermarket and they're like, Hey,
you're Victoria, aren't you? And I'd be like, oh yeah, I yes, I'm all my husband's track pants and they're like, oh my god, I am only good at money because you taught me how to. And I got out of zip pay. Like I was at an event and a girl came up to me. She's like, I'm so sorry to do this is so weird, but I just need you to know that. Like I was in so much personal debt that I was about to file for bankruptcy and because of your podcast, I didn't. That's incrazy, isn't
that sick? Yeah, Like people message us every day with their like money wins and confessions, and I don't want you to stop. Like it's my favorite part of our community is not just sharing, but the fact that we have an impact. And I think, is there one moment, No, because they're all so special in their own way, but I think it's yeah, just this idea that we help you create the life you deserve. I know this question was not directed to me at all, but I just feel like when I was asked to do this, I
was like, this isn't gonna last long. I don't know anything about money, and which is good, that's what I need, but like it's just incredible and so people will sometimes message me to tell me that they enjoy me on the podcast, or even when people send me their broke tips.
I'm like, it's almost.
See me actually capable.
Yeah, like you see me and you value the role that I play on this show. I'm literally in chills onto it and it's like that is so so cool. Yeah. I just think we have an incredible community and I love out community.
But like it's because you show up as exactly who you are and that's what we want. Like I don't want you to be pretending to be somebody else, so like trying to be good at money for the show.
No, everyone is welcome here. That is really really cool.
I love that. Thank you for sharing that.
That's so cool.
See you.
Oh my god.
You've mentioned before about how becoming a mum has shifted your perspective. Do you feel like it has changed the way you approach your goals or your time.
I want to say yes and no. I feel like I've done that to every question.
But I'm like, yeah, nah, and why does it?
It's not from a business perspective. No, it has just motivated me to do more and be more. Like I just go oh, there's so much more I want to do, and like I'm motivated now in a way that I wasn't before my time. I think I am more defensive of it. Yeah, So like before, if you said, Harvey, I know you don't work on Mondays, but could you come in and do a half day record, I'd be like, yeah, no worries, Like that's so fine. Beck. If you ask me now to do something on a Monday, I'll be
like absolutely, not, absolutely and absolutely not. That's actually my time with Harvey. And that's I told you that was my time with Harvey.
Respect it.
I'm flexible, but I do prioritize him and his well being and I think that that's the bare minimum of being a parent. But then also it's like this inherent like I want him to reflect on his childhood and be like, far out it was such a good child. Like I'm obsessed with being a mum and being his mum. And I think it has definitely shifted my perspective in terms of like what that work life balance looks like and being a little bit more aggressive about.
Protecting it, protecting a piece.
But I think a lot of people had said to me when I was pregnant or even before I had a baby, They're like, just wait until you have baby, because like your priorities will shift. And I feel like they were saying that in a way that it was like, oh, you won't care so much about work, or you, you know, won't love doing X, Y Z as much. I think I've been very lucky and very supported in becoming a mum that I still love what I loved before. I can understand when people say I became a mum and
I lost myself. But I think I became a mum and I was really reinforced in who I was. But that's not saying that, you know, other people don't go through that. I think I was really worried about that. But I also think before I became a mum, I was quite clear on my goals and like my career and what important to me. And I was really worried
because people make parenting sometimes sound awful. They're like, oh, my god, just wait until you don't get any sleep, Just wait until you walk into daycare and pick them up, and like their smile is the biggest thing in the room, Like do you know what I mean? Like I think that there are so many people who think that you can't do it all or have it all, but they don't realize you just can't do it all or have it all at once. And I think it's about shifting perspective.
There's just a lot of people that would say, Oh, I could never have a career v like you do and put my kid in daycare. Do you know how much better I am as a mum because of daycare? Do you know how much better I am as a mum because I have a career that nourishes me. If you don't want that like you do you as you know, I couldn't care less what you do as long as you're happy, Like if you want to be stay home mum slate like I used to think that was something
that I would love. But I adore my job. I adore what I do and what I get to do, and daycare is just part of my village.
Absolutely. I just feel happy and satisfied and fulfilled in your everyday life, then you're going to be way happier.
I want him to see that, and I hope that that work ethic rubs off on him and he then finds his passion and hubs that I don't know. I think that that's how my perspective has shifted, because it's not necessarily the way I view things, because I genuinely thought that everything would change, ye and it just didn't. Yeah, But I think it's just I've become a little bit more defensive about the time that I have in the way I want to spend that time and how I want that to work.
Gorgeous if you thought for.
A hot second, yeah, that I wasn't going to turn the tables though on this entire show, you were wrong. Sure, Sorry, Like you use this whole episode to ask me the big questions. So I think it's time to put you in the hot seat. So strappy and buckle up. You are absolutely in trouble.
No, okay, let's go.
I want to hear about your year, your moments, and maybe some financial confessions. I feel like you've confessed every day on this podcast, though, so let's go. You've been diving headfirst into the world of finance this year. Yes, what do you think has been the most surprising or like game changing thing that you've learned about money that you wish you knew sooner?
I wish I knew that it's possible for people, including those who don't start off at the same level and they don't have access to like the same things. And I completely get that. I grew up with this mindset of money that's like once I get a little bit, it's gone again, I'm spending it. And this whole year I've been the same and I feel like I'm locked in.
But having chats with my friends and the people who care about me and want me to be able to change that, I kind of thought, like, I don't think I have the ability to like why people just saving, Like why people just doing this? Why people just motivated to do that? But I realized very recently when I was explained to my partner. She was like, Hey, We're going to go on a whole year like to start saving for it. And I was like, what do I
look like? I was like, what do you mean? Like I usually just get to the part where the holiday is and I'm like, oh shit, I've got ass or I've got this pay cycle. I'll just not spend on anything else, like that's all. I'm never looking for the future. But I realized, oh my god. And we had a person ride in recently who was like, how do I find motivation to save for all these things when I just don't feel it, Like what the hell am I
saving for? I think I'm like that, but I've just very very recently shifted that and been like, oh, I don't have to save for a house. I'm actually saving for experiences. And I'm saving for those moments where all my friends want to go to Japan and I can do that without feeling stressed. And I'm saving for those moments where you have a really good time, good time exactly. And I'm saving for next Christmas when I can go out and buy all the really nice things and make
myself feel really cozy. So I realized with finances that motivation just wasn't there for me. And I've been really bad with money my whole life, and I probably still will be for a while. And that's where we're gonna fix it. But it takes time, right, It's not something that you can just turn on. I think I just needed to shift the way of thinking, like, not everyone just does it. Not everyone can just do it, and that's okay. You just got to find a way that
works for you. And that's where I am right now.
I love that.
Thank you.
Feel like that is honestly so special, because I don't think that when you started on the podcast it would have been a mindset that.
You have exactly, not at all. I have ninety dollars and Chezy's as well. I when you say ninety, yes, I have ninety dollars and Chazy's At the moment, that's exciting, That is so cool all this.
She's an investor. I can't believe it, and she's about to become a proper saver.
Who would have thought?
I did think, but you did it. We've talked a lot about I guess big money wins on the podcast. We always talk about money wins every single week. But it's not smooth sailing always. Earlier, you said that you had your worst moment this year. You're crying in your car, Which is the worst? Was that your biggest financial challenge of the year? If not, what was How did you approach that?
Like?
You went home, you got some petrol.
But then what, I know, this probably sounds weird, but my biggest financial challenge wasn't even the financewers because I always have just been like this and it's always been okay for me, and I always find a way to still go out and see my friends and do everything
I have to do. The biggest financial challenge for me actually came from the people around me who cared so much and they wanted to see changing me and my partner, Jess is very very good with money, just seeing the disappointment or maybe feeling a bit misunderstood in those moments and when people are like, why did you even go to the place where you were then stranded with your car and I'm.
Like, okay, but that doesn't help no.
Exactly, and also like I get it, like I didn't have to go to that place. I wanted to go see my friend.
I get it.
I didn't have money to get home. I don't think about it. I'm living for each moment. I'm living for spending time with people, I'm living for experiences. I'm living for all these things. It's just not in me. So I think the biggest financial challenge didn't come from actually having to just be like, oh wow, I've got literally forty C into my account. Maybe I will see if I can just make a coffee at work with some soy milk and some instant coffee and whatever. Like I'm
used to that I'm okay with that. The biggest financial challenge, in fact, came from the faces of.
The genuine challenge being challenged.
About. And I'm like, I feel misunderstood and I didn't like it, so.
That was probably sorry that was the case, but thank you. How do you feel about that on reflection, Like, obviously you felt misunderstood. Then have you found some clarity now or is this something that you're like, this is kind of still trashy, Just hoping the topic doesn't come up again, Like, what's the take? That's a great.
Question, And I do honestly think like I can understand why people think that. If you can see someone repeatedly making the same mistakes, then you're like, why don't you just doing?
Yeah, it's so easy to just fall into what are you doing?
Yes, so dumb? Yeah, And I just think that why don't you just has always been like a shut up hate I hate when you say that. I hate that. But then now that I'm in a better spot, I'm like, they care so much about me, and I think I feel so seen when they inquire about my life, and I feel so seen and cared for and held. I understand that the way they express that is different, and they don't want to enable me, so they do tend to do that in the moments of stress. I don't
like to hear it. But upon reflection, I'm like, I'm just so lucky that I have people that care about me in my world.
You know, many people would just be like, trash them. I don't even like them anymore. Yeah, and even just.
Like that's a lot, they're an idiot, but whatever, it's not my problem. But being in a community and being around people that love you and you love them. Everyone's problem is everyone's problem bad. Which is really nice festive, isn't it.
That's very festive.
Yes, I think so. I think it's a really good place to leave it.
You're like, I'm over announce, stop asking me questions. I'm shy now, Yeah, I'm going now into open. I've got to be closed, bud.
Yeah, I've got to go and think about everything I said that was wrong, and I know such thing. Honestly, it's a big day for a lot of people. I just want to also say, and I know that I do this a lot, but those people who are spending Christmas alone, just know that we're here, we got you, and it's Okay, just do something that makes you feel good with your alone, with family, with friends, with whoever. We are here for you.
And that's why we did this whole podcast today to hang out with you on a day that you might not have a lot of friends and family around you, exactly, so that we get to hang out with you exactly the best. We get you all to ourselves, and we're going to give you a challenge as well. So this week, maybe even today, if you can find fifteen minutes and find a quiet moment, maybe like make a little coffee with not stolen saury milk from a work fridge. But
I want you to ask yourself three simple questions. They're not that simple by the way. They sound simple, but when you start digging into them, you're like, God, So what worked really well for you this year?
Yep?
Was it something emotional? It something literally physical? Was it something that you did that worked out really well? What didn't go to plan? Be honest with yourself. It's really hard to say, oh, that didn't really work because you put in a lot of time and energy and effort. But be kind to yourself because we're not trying to crucify ourselves here. We're just trying to ask the question so that we can do better and be better and grow. And then what's one lesson I can take into twenty
twenty five? Like I feel like I do this a lot, Like I ask myself what do I want to stop? What do I want to start doing? And then what's something I want to continue doing. It's like the traffic light system, it always works. So I feel like, ask yourself those three questions, even if you're not a goal setter, and I feel like that will set yourself up for some pretty good success in there.
Absolutely and doesn't have to be complicated. Just jot it down your notes, app talk it through with a mate, or even just think about it while you're doing the dishes.
The key is just so many dishes this time of year.
God, so many dishes, so you'll have a lot of thinking time to do, even if it's nothing like tangible physical it just be like I want to change the inner monologue in my head that is kinder to myself, whatever it may be. I think, Yeah, just take some time, just do.
That exactly, and don't forget to celebrate. I feel like we don't celebrate the small winter house like let's celebrate the big ones, but also the small ones. Maybe you paid off a little bit of debt, or maybe you just finally logged into the account so you know how much debt you have. That is a really big one. Maybe you started a savings habit. Maybe you agreed to go on a holiday with your girlfriend and you've started saving for the first time. Or maybe you just learned
something new about money. Or maybe you finished this whole podcast episode. Congrats, babe, congrats, whatever it is. I think we need to be giving ourselves credit. And if you haven't heard, I have officially called twenty twenty five twenty twenty Thrive, and we are always going to be here
to help you absolutely own it. We've got obviously a stack of New Year's episodes coming your way, packed with literally everything that you need to start your year off strong, whether that is budgeting or saving, all mindset shifts or psychology.
We cover literally everything and everything. So hit subscribe now and get ready to start living twenty twenty thrive. Yeah, you're just surviving with not twenty twenty survive exactly. Let's make your best money year yet.
I love that. Have a good Christmas, babies and We'll see you literally during our next episode.
Merry Christmas by Guys.
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