Apologie Production, Grow and Glows Twelve Days of Christmas. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Twelve Days of Christmas. And I'm really really excited to have today's guests on. She played a really, really beautiful part in my postpartum journey and I honestly wish I could clone her times a million, and for every mama to have someone like her support you girls in your postpartum journey. Welcome Lauren to the podcast.
Thank you, my love much for beautiful but you just said that.
I honestly don't know how I would have got through that without you like I would have, but it just made it so much more easier and more beautiful. And I understood my body more and I was just taking much more better care of myself and I learned so much about nutrition. And that's why I wanted to get you on today because I really wanted to talk about all things dula. And before we get started, in your own words, could you tell me what is a dulla?
Because I really hadn't heard much about it until my girlfriend Megsie was like, you need to hire a douler.
I was like, a what, so, yeah, what is a doller?
Duelers have supported women since the beginning of time, like we've always supported and held women through write the passage. These women may have been like wide women of the community, or the mothers, or the supers or the aunt even the grandma's And I guess it looked a little different now, but it's essentially the same. And the word doula mean serving women, and I guess by definition, a dueler is a trained companion who offer non medical support for pregnancy,
birth and postpartum period. And I'm obviously just speaking mostly postpartum. Fair vital emotional and physical support from others or duellers come with their own wisdom and live body experiences and you know, knowledge of skills in the ways that they want to support a mother, especially in the first six weeks of postpartum. You know, it can vary greatly as well up to the mother as well as the dueler of what she requires. But adula will provide emotional, physical
and spiritual support. You know, six weeks is the minimum we should be supporting women as post button dula in home packages. That should be at least maybe three hours a week. Whatever that care looks like is what it looks like. But you know I do all my cooking outside that my visits are purely mother centered. But yeah, DULA is there for the mother, and I think if we support the mother, then she can focus on the baby. And you know, the baby is going to be fine.
The baby only needs the mom. So if we can look after the mom, they then can have the space to look after and nurture their children. Yes, we are theirhore, you know, birth trauma, birth debris. We can support the day to day running of a home. We can cook meals, we can massage or do any of those traditional sort of practices. Reptims support women. You know, we're there for emotional support, but also we are there for family support,
lactation support. As dulas, we also have such a beautiful connection with other women and other professionals in the area, so we can always support you to find people you need, life to lactations consultants, duellers are there without judgment, and we're not there to save you or fix you, but we're they're just to be with you. And I always say I walk with women. Do we walk, you know in that postcardum period together?
I absolutely love that. And I just feel like in today's society and different cultures obviously do things differently, but in our Australian culture, so many women are just doing this alone. They don't have a village, they don't have a tribe, they don't have this beautiful community that is there to help with all of that. And then it's almost celebrated being the boss babe and like handling it all and like, you know, you see women post on social media and there's no judgment, like gotta do what
you gotta do, and everyone's different. But like you know, in hospital getting out their laptop and getting straight back into work and not really focusing on their healing fourth trimester period, which is so important emotionally, mentally and physically to actually take the time to allow your body to rest and recover because it's such a huge event to be pregnant, go through labor, and.
Then get to know your baby. So could you talk a little.
Bit more about the importance of the fourth trimester because it's not spoken about enough.
The thing about the fourth trimester, or even the first forty days of postpartum, is that we live in a culture that doesn't honor rights of passage and we don't have the reverence or that mother baby diad. We are fed this that culture, like you said, and we are also really unaware of the potency of that fourth trimester and what it holds. Postpartum will affect us literally for the rest of our life, so on many many different levels, and it will set my mother up to thrive or
basically not thrive, you know. In terms of why postpartum is so important, there's so many different revenues. I could go down and so many different tunnels and talk about why it's important. So I will try and be concife
about seven one. But if you haven't heard of the first forty day or understand why there is such an emphasis on this time, it is so much about or on the mother's recovery, And as you said, places around the world have the most amazing forty day you know, confinement or support and they hold the mother so well because as a culture, if the mother isn't well after her first forty day, it's actually on the culture, not on the mother. It means that they haven't supported her enough.
And when people hear that, they're like, oh, it's so elabyrinth for it too much, or you know, why would you bother like or whatever it might be. Just get back into it. It's really sad that that's how we think, and that here on the West we emphisize the baby and it's all about the baby. And it is a time where the mother should be resting as much as she can horizontally as possible, establishing a feeding relationship, and
learning about her baby. It's such a powerful time where all these things could be done with the distractions of people and outside, you know, in the world. But if a mother had given the space, she can really tune into her intuition and she can obviously then learn about her baby and that connection with her bubba. And then I find that mothers and mother from their venture and from their intuition, which is something that I really feel
like a complete change in you. Like you're obviously such a beautiful mother and such a wonderful mom, but the light and that change in your intuition, as soon as you know that first six week was up, I was like, you are a completely different woman, Mike, And that was so cool and really like such an honor to watch a weakness.
It was so so beautiful to go through that transition and to do things so differently to my first I just felt so much more confident to trust my intuition and to trust my body, and also just knowing that I'm worthy, deserving and like that's okay to rest, that I don't have to do all the things, and my body and my health is so important, and it's like that overflow, you know, filling up your own cup first. We don't have to be running on empty in that
first forty days. That is going to overflow for the rest of your time being a mum.
Well, yeah, sets you up as a mother, and you know, mothers should be relieved of houseful duties and tending to children and cooking and cleaning, because the first forty days should be about the mother allowing herself to rest and to restore and to heal and nourish. A mother's postpartum and how well she recovers is critical because it can affect you for ten years after childbirth and even into menopause.
You may not see the effects of not rething. You know, in the first year of your brother's life, you know, you may get depleted. You may not, but you may enter menopause and once thing happened in menopause, you might actually you know, there's women who have prolapsuge because they didn't rest in their postpartum that they don't until they get to menopause. And they say the first forty days affect the next forty years of your life.
Yeah, and I do think too.
It made me a better mum because I was well rested and my nervous system was so calm. I could show up for my kids and especially my new baby so much better, you know. And it's not only that, it's also the importance of the nutrition side of things, which I would love to dive deep into with you, because gosh, I learned so much about and like you provided all of my food, Like I literally didn't have to cook or make any kind of drinks or anything.
It was all there, you dropped it off like and that was one of my favorite parts, because one, I just I didn't want to have to cook, but two, I just knew that everything I was putting in my body was made for a postpartum mum's body to be nourished and to give me the fuel and the energy and all the nutrients and minerals that I needed to
actually recover the best that I could. So let's talk about the food, because I think I think a lot of mums think, oh, I could just eat healthy, but it's actually some dos and don'ts, different things that you should and shouldn't have.
In that force.
The size of the belly changes, you know, the size of our uterus, our pelvis change is shape. Obviously, our baby is born and then we do everything in reverse. And I gas, I said, we take a slow, long nine months to do this, but in postpartum, this quick six weeks. I feel like it's like this vacuum that sucks you back. The drop of hormone after pregnancy is the largest hormonal change anyone will ever experience in their lifetime, and it is also the single largest sudden hormonal drop
as well. You're going through the changes in your body. Your newborn is completely dependent on you. But also like in an Aavetic sense in relation to food, is our mother loses what they call fire, and i'm that through the blood, and then water through the sweat and amniotic fluid, and then earth through the placenta and the baby. And this lead like a whole lot of air and space.
And this is what we call vata in Avetta, and what it is, it's this dry, light and cold in nature kind of create cart digestion and guiding depression, lung immunity. Why this is super important is we need to balance this energy with warming, grounding, maurishing foods in the first forty days because there's so much healing and so much
like restoration to do. A woman learned how her culture values her role in the writer package, so we bleed, we go through birth and post pardon, menopausal, the death, so our mother learns how her culture value and fee that mother in that writer package. So if we're not supporting women, if we're not being in awe of a
mother and what she's done, you know, that's fly. Women don't trust their intuition, you know, don't think their role is important, or you know, they're not seeing or heard because we are unraveled and we are craft open, and then we rebuild when we come back, and every time rebirth, we rebirthself again and again. And this transition is like a really beautiful coming home to ourself that we never really for I guess coming I didn't, that's for sure.
But yeah, in terms of the food and the nourishment, according to ada Veda, a new or mother has this excess of air and it's due to fluid, the blood and the potentia leaving our body, so we're left with this element of cold and dry in nature. So it's really important, and it's really biful, not just for the mother but for her milk as well. The amount of women that have seen they may have, you know what they want to classes, milk productions not falling as nicely
as they would like. And then you look at the food they're eating, and as soon as you change the food they're eating, it's falling beautifully. We just need to avoid And this is what I did particular in my first pregnancy, and I ended up getting post haartum depletion quite severely, and post hartum viroditis from probably the nutrition that I ate. I ate beautifully, but I ate all
cold and raw foods. I ate salads and a sigh bottle, all the things that we love so much and we think is healthy, but for post part Yeah, and I was like, this is amazing. My partner's making you all these beautiful juices, these things.
Oh my god.
Yeah, we need to kindle that digestive fire. And if you think of the fire you've ever made out in the open, if you just start throwing like logs and things onto it. It's not going to burn and it's not going to create that beautiful warmth and then come into the higher. So you know, we want to prepare really grounding, nourishing and restorative foods, so soup and broths and shoes and curries, especially in the first few weeks.
We don't want too much like meat or anything really hard to digest, maybe very mushy and easy to digest.
The chicken conchie hue. Oh, I still like think about that chicken conchi.
Oh, you're another one.
It's so friggin yummy. It's probably one of my favorite meals you ever made.
And do you know what, even my girls of it. And it's so funny every time, I like, what would you feels like for lunch? Konji?
Oh?
Everybody loves kanji.
It's so norm and.
It feels so nourishing and like warm, and just like feels like that home cooked wholesomeness just is so yummy.
The home cooked is really important as well, because you know, when we look at the food, if we are receiving foods from our community, maybe through our meal train, when people are making food with loves and they really put that intention into it, and they know that they're going to serve a newborn mother. I think even just the intention of somebody bringing your home cooked milk, not they drop it at the door. They don't even want to
feed the baby, they just want to nourish you. I think that is also so important for the newborn mother, knowing that people are around her, surrounding her and cooking her food. But as I said, like yeah, all of that auto not only is warming and healing for the mum, but it's also means that she doesn't have to get up right if she being cooked for, she doesn't have to be in the kitchen and neither did depart, which would be also beautiful. But it's also very supportive of
that beautiful breath milk and the production breast milk. Another really important thing about food that I found, especially in my first pregnancy. If you're taking supplement for your health and to support yourself, a lot of women stop them because you know, they prenate all bit vitamins and whatnot, a lot of women stop them, like you know, a
week after birth. So keep up with your vitamins and keep up with you know, whatever you're taking that you had beforehand, because that obviously is really important as well. And then we have healing and warming herbs and spices that we can add your foods, which is really beautiful as well.
What about the drinks you used to make me?
Yeah, so again there's obviously herb that we can you to heal women and to support women. That there's the drinks, and then you know, just warm chies because they're full of goodness fat, and also all the spices and herb that women need postpartum, allowing women to drink warm drink, even if it is just warm water. So then the cold war, we don't want ice in our water or anything like that, because again I will not support the digestive fire to kindle.
Yes, I can't remember how long I had you for it was it eight weeks?
Six weeks? Six weeks? Was it?
So? Each week when you came around, you had something different that we would do, and I know it was like felt quite intuitively to what I needed. But like one week it was a massage, the next week it was a yoni steam, the third week we like talked about my birth. And then there was another time where you set up this beautiful bath and you gave me all these different things to put in my bath were
actually really healing for my vaginal health. Can you talk about the different things that you do with mothers each week when you come to the.
Room, And obviously, like everybody's going to be different, everybody has trained differently or has belief in what's important for women post part of dumb women really focus on the family and the home and you know, helping mind out in that sense, especially that you know, maybe second, third, fourth kid kind of thing. I really like to support women as much as I can while there to help
them to heal. The practices I do on you I do on myself, and so yeah, there's things like you're only seeming and massage is really important for the mother and she's a new mom because she's on to the stars. To collect her baby and to ground her and to bring her back on this earth is really important, so you know, giving her that massage and to ground her in her body. I fear a lot of changing women after we do something like that.
With the packages, I know there was a few different options.
How many packages do you have?
And obviously it then depends on budgets and what the moms are needing, and I know there's options for you to be supportive during pregnancy. You can be there at the birth, or you can just be their postpartum. I had you a little bit during pregnancy and then I had you postpartum. Could you quickly go over your packages briefly?
Yeah, yeah, And everyone's different. I mean, obviously, if you are supporting women in birth, you may not have a a big postpartum package. You may have a big postpartum package. Some women just do both, and people just do postpartum. The cost of a doula can vary, and what they offer can vary. At the moment, I'm just offering my six week postpartum packages, you know. Obviously that can be so different for everybody, and you know what they do,
it could be different to me. But I cook outside the home, so I'm not cooking while I'm in the home with you. I offer, yeah, around three hours, four hours, however long. I end up saying, that's not really something that I put a time on mostly once a week, but obviously I'm there throughout the week for talking, for voice messaging, all the things as well. Yeah, and then each week is different and it's very specific to the woman.
The one thing I always took oac to me is the research shows that on average, a woman or a couple so spend more time on researching or the purchasing of a new car than they do on the post angle period or like you know, women spend thousands of dollars on a beautiful wedding dress, but then when they look at postpartum or a postpartum door, they just think, oh, no, I can't spend that money. I don't you know, we
don't have that or whatever it might be. And I think it's really important that we value it and value obviously a dueler that value ourself in our postpartum and it be something that we either talk about in conception and start shaving for or have friends help pay, or however it happened, you know, instead of focusing on a nursery which maybe the kid doesn't even sleep in next first six months or whatever it might be, you know, and focus on the mom, because when a mom thrived
to baby thrive, and then a family thrived in the community thrive exactly.
I love that you mentioned I ongoing support, because it wasn't just when you came around once a week. It was like the moments when Tyler was like really upset at night and it like it was like, but this
hasn't normally happened. Like, for example, I remember this one time I was trying to put it down at night and she was really great at going down at night, and this one time she was really unsettled and I messaged you in a panic and I was like, I don't what to do and you were like, oh, okay, like tell me where you're sitting in your house and I was like, we're in bed, we're watching movie and you were like what movie are you watching?
And I was like, why is she asking this?
But I was like, oh, it's a crime action And You're like, okay, is there any gun sounds or loud noises?
I was like yeah.
She's like okay, can you take Tyler into another room that's really quiet and you know, gently rock her and you know, maybe hummer song. And it was crazy that since I'm talking to another room and it was a calm environment with like.
The noise she went down.
I was like, yeah, just that little bit of like panic for me, but you were there to guide me and to just ask some further questions or there was another day that she was upset, and then like the next morning, you drop around these baby probotics and some other drinks for me, and you were like, try this, And it was just so cool to have someone there, Like I have beautiful friends, and I had friends that wanted to cook for me and be there for me
as well, But there's just something really special about Adula who was so passionate, and that's what they're there for, Like there's no guilt of asking for help when you know that's why they're there for you.
And I just can't recommend it enough.
And I also want to say that like anyone that can't afford a douller, like this is something you can ask all of your friends instead of buying new clothes to the baby or nappis and having this big extravagant baby show, like everyone could chip in or yes, even setting up the meal train like that is something anyone can do. There's literally websites where you can set up a meal train for your friend and everyone books in the day and the week and the time that they're
going to drop food off to the mum. Like there's so many beautiful ways that we can support mother's postpartum. And I think the more that we do the better.
Absolutely. I always say the three things that your friends and family can do. One is to put money towards your post part of door. Yeah. Second is to be on the mill train in. The third is to donate your time. Yes, it might be to go and do the washes or rub the mom's feet or something like that. And you know, between all of your family's friends, community, neighbors, who you work with, whatever it will clip for you, between all those people, you're going to be able to
create a little team that can support you. And so many moms don't want to ask for help, and I totally understand where it comes from. It made me really cringe when I first sled thinking about it as well. But the more I've seen it, and the more over the years that people do the middle chain or ask for help or whatever it be, you're actually doing your friends and your family a dish service because they want
to help. But we just haven't been taught or shown how all we've been taught is that you come over, you google and google over the baby and make the mom make some bread or toasts and you know, coffee or what it might be and then you leave a couple of hours later and we're not taught. And even you know, my mom or anybody like, they all want to be there. They just need to be shown how. And everyone's like, oh, I couldn't ask them to put
on the washing. There's nothing more like beautiful than watching your friend breathfeet on the couch while you go and do her washes like boneyes. I wait, paying people watching out nicer than I ever do my own. I just chuck mine on the water. But yeah, when you're doing it for somebody else, it's just so beautiful, and you are you're taking away something from people when you don't ask for help.
Being held is so important, Like I remember there was times where you would come over and as soon as you would like walk in the room, I would just burst out crying. And it's you know these hormones. I'm exhausted, and I'm holding you know, you're holding it together for
the family. At the moment you have a woman come in like yourself who just holds that space, you can finally just release and let go and you'd grab Taylor and I'd have a cry and then would get into a beautiful, nourishing treatment, and I would just feel so much better that I got to release that, and I didn't. I didn't have to hold it together all the time. But if anyone is listening and they're like, oh my gosh, I want to know more. I want to connect with you.
I want to ask more questions, and maybe you want to book Lauren as your daughter, like where can they find you?
So I am on Instagram mother bloom under poor.
Yeah, absolutely well, thank you so so much. I will leave all of Lauren welcome. I'll leave all of your details the description box. If anyone does want to connect, you can go find her there. Otherwise, thank you for joining me and hopefully we'll talk again soon.
Thank you, honey.
Thanks bye bye