The Inner Work That Changes Everything with Lewis Huckstep

So mainly it's the mental emotional who are you, what's your purpose? What do you love? What's stopping you from pursuing it? But also the skills where I take the piss. I'm in spiritual circles. I'm into meditation, into plant medicines and shit. But I'm going to the mates who just meditated and libertator all day and do fucking nothing with their life. They don't take action. And then you've got the other side where it's like hustle, hustle, hustle, where

you guys have that doing this and doing business. It's like you need to take action. But if you don't have the other side, you're under fields, you're burnt out, and you're just like chasing the I'll be happy win miles space. It's the mirage you never get to. And I was at for a long time with the gyms, when back when you came down the gym years again, So it's integrating those two worlds. It's like, how do you actually be super happy, super fulfilled, but also take

action because you can't pay you landlord with gratitude. Me I integrate those two worlds. So watch your purpose? Who are authentically? What do you love? What do you want? What's the actual plan and skills needed to create that? And then let's address all those mental emotional blocks that would stop you from doing it. Because if you know what to do and you're not what you know, it's something in here. So we want to under that which you'd be into as well.

for motivation is a symptom of an uninspired goal. So when you actually know what you want and you're fulfilled by it, you'll be willing to take action towards it. Yeah, you find your core wound, what did you need back then? And then you articulate into a sentence and then how can you solve problems for others in alignment with that? And how to get paid to do it?

We do it on day two. We start at like midday and you just go to you done, and essentially I'm walking around and it's a process where there's twelve steps, but you can't move on to the next step until I let you move on to the next step to actually up bullshitting yourself. Essentially, like I'll go around and I'll go to a hearse and i'd like ask from the questions and it's like I just picture key words of the locks and the keys, so I just need to say the right words to unlock the combination to

get the breakthrough. So I'll let you walk over to this lady and I'll ask the question, looker in the eye, tears comes woe, and then I'll move on to the next one. Then boom, net fluxed, boom, and I'm crying the whole time because I'm so inspired and oh there's there. So it's like four hours of just like ecstasy for me, and like all these people, it's yeah, very inspired.

So I had three gems, but it was like built on sands, like there was no real assistance processes, leadership, like I was the business like if I took one day off, it was all everything from yeah, everything crumbled. So I remember we hear like a breaking point and I had the three and I had a business partner with two of them, and one of the business partners he was like, let's sell one of them. And I'm like, yeah, fuck,

I'm done too, let's sell it. So we went through the like twelve months founded by I went through the contracts and then there's like to us twelve months to get the signature, like sold, it's fourteen day of cooling off period. He pulls out on two days left. No, and like this is like my lifeline, Like I'm living off four hours of fleet and like I used to take trains and put on Instagram show how hard I was working. It's the Brenvach to the belt. And I

was just like stress, anxious, overwhelmed, unhappy. Relationship was on the rocks, like and it was like that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just remember the phone call with the guy, and it's funny because he actually paid him to mentor me later, so he's actually a good friend of mine. He just got me and just said this deal's fucked, this business is fucked. We're pulling out, and I just dropped to the ground cry

and I'm like I don't know what to do. One of my mentors, Ages Ago, said, life gives you a feather if you don't listen to rock, if you don't listen to bus. So that was the buster wake me up. I was already doing self development, like Tony Robins, Cohen Ray Seminars books podcast and all that stuff, but it was just life will give you the stimulus or the catalysts for you to wake up. And that was the

big one for me. I ended up literally giving that business away and so his game to my business partner, I said, I don't want this had fifty percent of it. So that was about two hundred grand of the business that I don't want to take it. I can't handle it. And from there then we went through COVID with two gyms. That was fun in a nutshell as well, but during that it was like really deeper levels of work, like I've done the NLP in my mindset stuff, but not

the real deep purpose heally liberating stuff. Gone to DeMartini, dro to Spenzer, Peter Crone, plant medicine, breath work, and just went really really deep into it. And yeah, then I sold the second gym at the end of COVID and then I had one left. I hide myself out of it and I was making two three grand a week for an hour worth work because I do a team there, and then I had all this time to Okay, what do I do now? It's like seven years of

like head down, pump up, grind thrown Bryan Crime. I was like, I want to give this back to others, And that was four years ago now, so I've been doing it for four years down it's crazy.

stuff we pick up. If everyone actually listens to their truth, they know what it is. We just need to peel back all that bullshit, trauma, limitations and projections of who you think you have to be, got to be, must be, to be enough, Get rid of that, who are you authentically? And then how do you do that?

the limitations. So you will remove the limitations. Like kids, I always say, when a child is born, what parts of the baby is worthy of love? What's your inswer that? All of that, But then we go through trauma and limitations and we learn some parts of us aren't lovable. That's the unheal part. That's trauma. You may have heard this self growth or healing is learning to love all

parts of who you are. So essentially it's learning to find those parts you shame yourself for things, you get triggered by the things you project onto others, integrate heel thos that's your authentic self, and then again give that back to others and get page to do it. That's essentially dream.

always in the statue. I just removed everything that wasn't hit. Yeah, So it's again finding the parts of the viruses or the trauma, the persona's the wounds which are on top of your authentic self. You're in a child, removing that and you're left with you, so you're broken. Some people will think it won't work for them, which kind of ties into that they're broken. Yeah, some people think it takes a long time. Now, Yeah, there's a disclaimer on that.

You can have instantaneous transformation in moments. I've had people that have come to me done therapy or talk therapy for forty five years. We do one process and we heal that particular thing, but I believe healings never finished. There's always more to do. So I believe transformation if you do the right tool, from the right coach and the right healer who are you working with, you can have instantaneous transformation from having the breakthrough moment. But there's

always more layers to find. So I think that's very common. Like people think I need to do therapy for twenty years to overcome something I had declined. She was sexually assaulted from her dad for five years, so from the age of five to nine, and she got this beautiful testimony. I posted it recently actually, and she'd done talk therapy for thirty years and it had not been healed and she did one process, my balancing process, and she got to the point of gratitude and love for her dad.

Now that's hard to comprehend when people hear this. So DeMartini, he's my biggest se mentor, doctor John de Martini. He says, anything outside of loving gratitude is a lot side of perception. So it's like life happens for you, not too. How do you say that when you go through those types of things, you do a process where you don't just get it in your head, you get in your heart and you actually feel it and you're left with nothing

but tears of love. So to tell most people that without going through it themselves, it's hard to comprehend that she did thirty years, didn't crack it. One session got it done.

suppressed emotions. That's where like a breath work or a screen or a rage or something like that can actually release that. You've got the energetic body. That's the one I'm most unfamiliar with. That's where like reiki healing, sound healing comes into But I worked with the reiki healer for six months just to try it because I don't know what the fuck it was. I'm not very much like beliefs, perceptions and practical stuff. I'm like, what the fuck is recking it? I still can't tell you what

reco healing is. And then the fifth is the spiritual body. So that's your level of connectedness to presence, to the present moment, to God, source, universe, whatever you believe in, and how aligned and present and connected you are with that. So you just want to identify which body is most blocked for you or needs the most addressing for you. No ulternate martial art. Only the ulternate martial artist who knows every martial art and uses the right one at

the right time to get the right result. I've had people like say this tool is better than this tool. I say, bullshit, right time, right place, So true. So I'm a breathwork facilitate and have heard breath work people say breathworks the best thing ever, like maybe at the right time. So anything that's pre cognitive, you've got no memories of it. So you were three months old and your mum was stressed and you took on her stress. So you have suppress emotions in your nervous system with

no memory of it. So that's where NLP is going to do nothing or d Martin is going to do nothing because you've got nothing there, but your nervous system knows it. If you've read the book the Body keeps the score, This will Fouandercock. Your body's going to have that emotion in you. So that's where like a breath work where it actually knocks out your conscious mind and it just expresses anything that's in there is perfect for that. Yeah,

right to a right place. If you're holding how everything looks like an al So yeah, it's just having all the tools. A bit of a quest I on in my journey is to become the ulterate martial artist. So anyone comes to me with anything, I can like figure out what it is. Then I have the right tool, pull it out, use it and get a breakthrough.

becoming a fucking sharman. I do it often. And I also I think you have to be born into that lineage to become a sharman.

back to you. Where does that happen the most relationships? So like you guys, I've met you once a couple of times indirectly yourself, but you guys don't see me when the dog's piste on the carpet. You haven't seen me when we've had financial pressure. You haven't seen me when I have a fucking sled properly, like you've seen some sides to me. I try to be authentic. If you answer ask a question, I'll give you my own answer, But you're not going to see the full spectrum of me,

all parts of me. Who gets to see that, My wife gets the say do so just by proximity. Your relationships mirror you more than anything else. So true. So the things that I say you need for a conscious, healthy relationship. Number one, ownership of your own shit. So whenever you get triggered, it's not your partner, they're the mirror to you. It's actually you're just playing their part to marry you. I talk about triggers versus boundaries, which

are come to you later. But first of all, responsibility of your own stuff. If you want to be in a conscious relationship and both partners don't have that, or one does and one doesn't, it's not gonna work because one person will grow here, integrate, work on themselves. The other partner is going to play victim and say it's your fold, it's your fault, it's your fault. That doesn't

last forever. It eventually will fizzle out. Second point is you actually have real alignment with the vision of your relationship. What type of relationship do you want, what of sex, what type of communication, finances, travel, etc. What's the vision and what's your actual non negotiables? And I categorize non negotiables as I would leave this person if they didn't have it. You've got to be super black and white. So for me, self growth, intimacy, good communication, I want kids,

and health. They're my main ones. I say three to seven because I've been on other podcasts about relationships and you hear these people have like one hundred checklists, this tall, this colorize, this income, all this shit. For me, that's over compensation from hurts. So that's a trauma response versus like, what are your actual non negotiables? No one's perfect. Everyone has downsides. And then third is you learn how to

support and challenge each other towards the vision. That includes holding space and mean, empathetic and loving and supporting, and it's accountability sometimes kick them up the ass. My wife, There's been times where I've had some wounds and shame come up, and I've literally just cried my eyes out in front of her, and she's just held space and loved and supported me, and she's been time. So she said, be a fucking man of your word and step up. And I've said fuck you in the moment, but ego

comes up fucking you. But I'm like, you know what, You're right, I said that and I didn't follow through it. Thank you for the accountability. So it's learning how do you do that in a healthy way to move towards said vision, Because if you're not a line and you try to hold your partner accountable to be someone, they don't want to be conflict. So they're the three pieces I recommend. And then it's like, how do you actually identify triggers, identify the wounds, support each other to heal

through it. That's a more detailed conversation.

and you listen to it, you'll feel like shit. And I would sabotage those goals because they're not my goals. So again, know yourself, be authentic, know your values, know your purpose. That's the first piece. Second is limiting millions. I'm not enough, I'm too much, I'm ugly, I'm bad with money, I can't do this. Whatever beliefs you have, you make it right. So the ego human identity. Your ego has two main traits. Number one, it makes itself right.

That's where whatever it believes, it makes it true. If you believe you can or you believe you can't, you're up.

So so you've got a wound around a rejection. Say, for example, you want to start posting content, but you don't want to get rejected, you won't post your content, so you're protecting yourself from experience in the trauma. Again. The last piece is practical, so it's like you just don't know what the fuck you're doing. If you go to someone who's never done business and you say go build a business, you're like, yeah, what did I start? So that's where the skills come into it. This is

where first three pieces are mainly mental, emotional, psychological. Then it's actual tactics. Okay, you want to make all this money, but you don't know how to market, or you don't know how to sell, or you don't know how to productize or whatever the thing is. So sabotage for me has fallen into one of those four. I haven't found it something that doesn't fit into that which would cause it. So depending which one is causing it, that's what's causing

the sabotage. Identify it. I talk about symptoms versus root causes. So have you had the theory of constraints before? No? Alex Pomosi you him listen late. So he uses it for business, but I'll give it a different analogy. So he says, the theory of constraints is a business will rise or grow to its lowest constraint. So so your marketing is a ten out of ten, your sales ability is a ten out of ten, but you're probably to

one out of ten. That's the constraint, and most people in that circumstance try to get more leads and sales. It's like, that's not the problem. You're selling something that's shit, So fix that. That's your constraint, and then when you fix that, then it will rise to the next constraint. Maybe fulfillment, customer service, customer experience, or something else is the next constraint. So how I use it for a human though, is a human's life will rise to its

lowest constraint. It will be a skill. You don't know what skill. You don't know what to do, you don't know how to set boundaries, you don't how to communicate, you don't know how to be a leader, etcetera. Or there's something mentally or emotionally within you that's sabotaging you from actually doing it. That's where you probably have some friends who know what to do, but they don't do

what they know. They know what to do, they've got the skills, but they've got some belief that they are too much, that they're fucking stupid, they're not whatever, or they've got some trauma that they haven't addressed yet and they're trying to protect themselves from it. So again, what's the constraint that's essentially what I do for clients. What's the resistance that's keeping you stuck? What's the root cause of it? Let's address it, then you'll rise to the next one, repeat, repeat, repeat.

a child. Whenever you're knocked out of balance, you're in a triggered response. Something's triggered you. A boundary is a standard you hold people too. So I use a silly example. When I'm at home in my office, which I never leave. Whenever my door is closed, a boundary for me and my wife is don't come in. So I'm with clients, someone's crying, I'm working, I'm in flow. Don't fucking knock them out of float. Let me work. Say she barges

into the office. If I turned around and I snapped at her and said get the fuck out, and I got triggered, that's me. So what is it that she's doing that's revealing something within me I haven't worked on, Because why can't I say, hey, my love is everything? Okay, anything urgent happened, no worries. I'll be free in thirty minutes. I'll get back to you.

of you who dismisses others. You do it, and your ego will come up and say, I don't do that, Yes, you fucking do.

towards you. Yeah, that has gifted you with some of the gifts of who you are today, but you don't fully get it. You can intellectually start to think about it, and that makes sense when you get in your heart that you are the mother, you are the gift, you are the leader, you are the person you've impacted and all the people you've impacted because he was angry towards you, you'd be left with nothing but gratitude for him. Yeah.

of someone you don't like. You don't have to know the person, and don't use parents because his parents from them. Tell me where something comes to mine? And one word, what's the one thing you dislike most about that? But manipula it is find the one word behavior or trait. What are they doing or who are they being that you don't like? And this is where you attract your trauma into your life. So you'll attract people that dismiss you and manipulate you. My mast relationship, God, this is

where the relationship content. I like ma from it because people are like, oh my god. Fuck yeah. So you will attract your unhill trauma into relationship.

Do you push a beach ball underneath water? It's popping up somewhere else. What you run away from, you're running into the ironhill pass, the triggers, the projections, the parts of you that were painful, which makes sense because we're humans, painful, highly emotional minments that happen. We take a snap shot. That's a perception. So now that's bad. So now if I say, don't look for a yellow bus, what do you think of it?

you love yourself more. Those constraints that you're normally hit will go away. An example of that. My loving brother. He called me jan firstus hit having New Years? What's your goals a year? What is twenty tweenty five? Flok like for you? He's like, I want to start a business. I want to heal myself more work myself like beautiful anwers and he's like, oh, and I want to start posting content. I obviously post a lot of content. So I'm like, that's awesome. I said, when are you gonna

start posting? And it got treated? You know, what are you protecting yourself from by not posting? Judgment? He got bullied as a kid. Yeah, So again that's the threshold. That's the glass ceiling that people run into. If you say you get in your own way. This is what it means. So once you heal these things, you would just be able to be more of who you are.

I'm like anxious as and freaking out. Dad comeplay with smashes on his door, and he actually breaks the door down to get into my brother, and I'm disassociated, so I can't actually remember what happened after that. So that was a raddick. That was the trait anger ratic kind of friends of each old. I do this process on it. Heart opens, tears, gratitude, blah blah blah blah. And then from that moment one I stopped feeling scared around my dad.

So I actually drove my dad to the airport two days later from that process, and I would always feel anxious around my dad. Resistance, the resistance you avoid in life is what keeps you stuck. So wherever you have emotional resistance, there's something for you to work on there. Georgia, my wife, we did a process a lying that was one from her dad. So because that was painful, she's always looking for my lies. Everyone fucking lies. You lie,

you like everyone lies. Simply did the process and in school because she didn't realize it, because she's like, oh, she's had that belief unbroken. Nothing works with me topic. So we do that process online and then three four months later something another trigger of hers popped up, and I'm like, let's sell process on it when we're ready. Don't do processes in the moment, by the way, like get through it when you're.

last process we did? And it was lying? I said, have you noticed different? I just like I haven't been triggered by line Since we did that, the trait won't go away. You'll stop being resistant to You're stop judging yourself for it, stop shaming yourself for it, and you' stop getting triggered by it because you're not looking for it. You're not like, where's the anger? Where's the anger? I don't like anger. It's not there anymore.

But yet we don't love every part of ourselves interesting. So yes, once you learn to love it, you're okay being it. Again, there's preference. Do I prefer to be honest and dishonest? Of course I do, But I'm okay being dishonest. Is there a polite way and right time to light with your kids? But whatever, And that's why it's appropriate to it because it's not a bad trait.

But again, the only problem you had is you think you have a problem because I'm not saying don't be loving, because you said anger and you said the opolight like loving or caring. So I'm not saying don't be this. But if you're doing it because you're over compensating, that's the problem because you have resistance to it. Reverve the resistance, then free choice. Maybe it's like, fuck, I feel i've been angry in the bedrooms. It's not going to be

angry in the bedroom sometimes. Fuck yeah. But if you think it's bad, and this actually side note, because you mentioned sex and relationships, the more healing you do, the better your sex becomes. Because if you think of relationships being the ultimate mirror, sex in the bedroom is like amplifies that even more. You're literally giving everything about you to be received or rejected, So any parts of you that you think about, you're trying to hide that in the bedroom.