Apoday Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast.
I'm Ashi and I'm Tiana.
This podcast is.
About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
Get ready for your next level of self.
Hello, good morning, Welcome back to another episode of She Rises with Tiana and Ashi. Let's talk about.
Sex, baby, Let's talk about you and me.
You guys love when we talk about this, and we love talking about it sex and only fans and all of it, because what we've found is there's so much curiosity and a lot of submissions, a lot of questions in our dms, and there's a lot of shame around sex. Yeah, and we don't want it to be like that. But I had an interesting conversation with my coach the other day when we were talking about it. He's like, there's
it's just two ends of the scale, right. There needs to be more conversations around sex being healthy and connecting and pleasurable and how we create life. But on one end of the scale, it's been glorified and people are using it for validation and different things. And then the other end of the scale, there's so much shame around it. It's like, don't talk about it, that's dirty, that's private.
The opposites. Yeah, how can we bring this conversation back to be healthy, no shame, bring it back to what it is, And to me, it's connection, pleasure, fun and how we create life. I just don't think that should be a taboo topic. So I think the more that we have these open discussions and open conversations, the more it brings people forward to have those discussions with the people around them, with themselves.
Yeah, it's a really challenging thing, isn't it. There's a lot of stigma around the topic of sex, and I find that it's.
Just why, Yeah, I don't understand it.
It's just it's like become such a shameful thing, I think because I mean, at least from what I can see, is no one talks about it. No one, like for the most part, people don't catch up with their friends and talk about their experiences or get care curious or ask questions. And you know, I think it comes from the way that we're taught when we're younger, Like we're not really educated on pleasure and connection and being taught in a way where it is so connecting. It's not
it's the conversation that you don't touch. It's the conversation that you don't want to bring up, the awkward, too awkward conversation to have with your son or your daughter. Like that's how most people not having that conversation conversation.
And it really highlighted for me, which I spoke about in a previous episode, when we had some staff members that were really uncomfortable with us launching Loube. Yeah, in my mind, I was just so taken back because I was like, but what do you mean, Like, doesn't everyone use it? Are you raw dogging it the whole time? This is something that we all do. It's all pleasurable and like you were made from your parents having sex,
you probably have sex. It shouldn't be a topic that's so uncomfortable, but it really is for a lot of people. And it really just reminded me that there is so much sexual shame and it is still very uncomfortable. But I suppose on the podcast and my friendship group and my husband and people if my mum, like, it's just such an open book. Yeah, it is what it is. It's sex, it's fun. Let's talk about different experience. What do you like? What do I like? Like, it's just fun. Yeah,
and I want that to be more normalized. I hope my kids grow up with zero shame around sex. It is an experience that we all get to have and have fun with it, and you can still obviously have your boundaries, and I understand there's obviously people that have been through different sexual experiences that have really tainted that for them. And you know, that's another whole conversation. It's just as a generalized topic, yeah, around the sigma around it.
But yeah, I just think it's important and maybe it needs to start more in school. It's like, do we bring those healthy conversations to school kids? Why does it have to be so uncomfortable and so naughty and so like, Ah, we're only going to talk about it briefly for five minutes. In p on how to put a condo, mom, there was nothing about pleasure, about boundaries, about respecting your body, about exploration and yeah, consent, like even the Yoni massage.
I emailed her the other day too, and might I need to book in. Yeah, but she was saying, like, you know, she has young girls that come in their mum's book, their teenage girls, and so they can learn all about the revolver wow, and where their pleasure spots are and what feels good for them what doesn't feel good. Because if they don't understand their own body and they can't communicate that, how is their partners ever meant to
know either? That makes so much sense, so much power in knowing your own body and knowing what feels good and knowing what doesn't and knowing what where the edges are where you want to be pushed and where you don't want to be pushed.
You know, what's really interesting about this is we only teach what we know. So when we think about all of the lack of conversations that have been had around sex, just goes to show how much shame and lack of education that our parents were given and their parents beyond them, and how stigmatized it was even for their generations too.
So I think that's a really interesting conversation of you know, it's obviously not bad that we have learnt the way that we have, or there's so much shame and judgment and stigma around sex and especially shame. But it doesn't have to be the way that we continue on moving forward,
you know. And I think the biggest thing that kind of helped me explore this part of myself, my more sexual side of my sexual expression, is having gone through the sex tape because I had to go through and experience so much shame for being a sexually expressed woman at seventeen at the time, like that was the most terrible thing that I could have ever done in the world.
You know, I got so you know, shamed for it, ridiculed and judge and all those things, as if everyone is not doing it themselves exactly and not making intimate videos with their partners.
Yeah, do you know what I mean?
And so the thing with that, though, when you are able to free yourself from the sexual shame, not only do you connect with yourself more, you connect with your partner more, and you get to love on yourself more. You unlock new levels of confidence, pleasure, new levels of being able to say no because you feel strong in yourself, new levels of pleasure, and so much more, especially in
a relationship of intimacy. That's what intimacy is is like connecting through being together, being one exploring pleasure together.
We have to be really careful too, because the language we use around it to our children, that's going to impact them.
Oh my god.
So if I am to shame conversations around sex, if I shame anything around sex, and then my son and my daughter takes that on, do you think they're ever going to feel safe to be curious and to explore their sexuality. No, they're going to shut it down. They're going to stay in this box of what I've told them is the right way to be or the good way to be, or the right way for the world to see them. And they're never going to want to step outside those edges because then I won't be loved
and accepted by mums. If mom doesn't love and accept me for exploring that, then no one else will. Yeah, of course, So you're always going to shut yourself off to new experiences, new partners, new pleasure, new fun. Yeah, that's wild to me.
It is wild.
But it's so easy for parents and society and like your peers to tell you something's dirty or bad or slutty, and for you to like hold on to that. But I don't think any of it is. And it's like you know, only fans for example, it's not something I will ever do. Want to have sex on camera, don't really want people watching me have sex. Yeah, that's my own thing rather than just be Steve and I. Yeah, but if someone else wants to do that, you do
your book if you like that, that's none of my business. Yeah, I don't know your body or your background or what you enjoy. If you feel free doing that, or you enjoy doing that and that's what you choose to earn your money, cool, it's none of my business. Yeah, who am I to tell you what's right for your body? Yeah, that's insanity to me, or like how to live their life. When someone judges someone for doing that, I'm like, who
are you to tell them that's right or wrong? But there's plenty of things you do in your life that they would never do. Absolutely it doesn't align with them. We're different humans. Yeah, we have different values and we make different choices. Why can't we just accept and let them do their thing?
And this is the interesting thing, Like everyone around sex has a completely different perspective. Yeah, they have different limits, different levels of exploration, different levels of shame obviously based on personal experiences and you know, whatever they might have gone through, or maybe they might be completely open and they're just like free reign and free world and that
feels comfortable for them based on what they know. So that's where I find people get challenged with connecting with other people over it, Yeah, because it's like where does this person lie? What limits does this person have? And is what I'm doing okay? And vice versa. So it's
like this unspoken conversation. But at least what I've learned in like my friendships and even especially now the ones that I do feel more open with, you just able to just connect over something that is so natural and so human, so true, because it's like, yeah, we all go to the toilet, we all sleep, peas and shits and all the things, you know what I mean, Like, why is that such a stigmatized thing when it's something that literally every single person is doing and enjoys and
enjoys and loves. It's a huge part of the human experience, it really is. And so when you can start opening up those conversations obviously in a safe place, if you're comfortable with the course, you'll start to notice that, Like, you can have open conversations without that immense feeling of like shame or guilt or whatever, and you can just explore the curiosity, even if it's just in conversations.
Definitely, I think some people listening might be like, well, you know, we're not like you. We don't want to talk about our sex life upon of thousands of people. Cool, you don't have to do. What I'm more encouraging is if a sex conversation comes up with your partner or your girlfriends, just notice your body response. Because a lot of people's body responses like, yeah, oh my god, what's talking about that? She just so she did that? Oh my god, I would never do that. Yeah, So judgments
and projections start coming out. That's where your sexual shame is. That's where you can look at. That's where you can see why it might be blocking you from other experiences or just being able to fully truly express your authentic self. And it doesn't just show up in the bedroom. It shows up in lots of areas of your life. It really does. When I was growing up in my early teens, I had some quote unquote selettier friends that like to explore and sleep around and give blow jobs at parties
and all the things. And I saw how much they got shamed and ridiculed. They were the sluts, they were the dirty ones. They were just like hate it on. So I witnessed that and I was like, oh, I don't want to be a slut. So I just like didn't sleep around growing up. I've only been with like partners that I've been in a relationship with, and that's fine and all good or whatever. But then I look at my friends that have slipt around, and I don't
think that's slutty. I'm like, good on you. You're trying different people, you're connecting, or maybe it's just fun for you.
You know, it's like their personal experience and any of the way that feels concruent to live with them. There's nothing wrong.
No, there's nothing wrong with it. And I'm like, good on you. That's really cool, And I'm glad I've been able to connect with other women that are so free in their sexual energy and their sexual expression, because then it's just really changed my perspective. And I've seen how much I've shamed myself over the years, and because I was shamed with myself, I shamed everyone else doing it as well. Wasn't until I met different people that were so open with it and like free flowing and explained
it differently. I was like, Wow, sex can just be sex, Yeah, just pleasurable, enjoyable, a natural thing that we all get to do, you know. And then it just looks different for everyone is bad or wrong. It just like is their experience and that's beautiful for them.
Yeah.
We've been having conversations recently Japan about you being single. Yeah, I said to her one day, I was like, would you ever consider having a Fuckbudy? I mean, I've been in a relationship for seventeen years. I have no idea
how usess work. I won't even know how to flirt anymore, to be honest, But in my head, I'm like, if you're single and you're not in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that probably would be something I think I would explore because it's like, you still have desires. Just yeah, just think what isn't mean you're dead, Like you still have desired you enjoy sex? Yeah, And you were instant like, oh no, no, that's not what I would do, And I was, oh.
Explain, like, tell me more about it. Yeah, and it's so interesting. I was having this other conversation with another girl friend of mine as well, and she's quite open and she's very sexually expressed and so just free. And I really admire her for it because she just is who she is and she fucking owns it and she doesn't shame myself for it, and she just.
Look casual and she tells you, oh casual, she's Oh my god, I love her for it. Yeah, it's so inspiring actually, like she's just literally like, yeah, it's lot with her. Yeah I did that. It was beautiful.
Yeah, it was amazing and it's so connecting.
What did you have for dinner? Yeah?
And like do you want to get for a walk?
You know? And I just it was a really cool conversation to have, like you have almost rules on what you're allowed to do. It's because I think we're now discussing the rules and how you want to be and what feels good for you, but then also your values. Yes, and when your body feels safe, I'll let you elaborate more. But it's such a cool conversation because I can really see both sides of it now.
Yeah, So it was a really interesting conversation to have because I really notice these rules and things that I have on myself and just from conditioning as well of like, oh, okay, I'm allowed to do this. I'm not allowed to do this. I shouldn't want that, you know. And now I'm in just like a beautiful place now that i'm single as well, where I'm like, okay, would I want to explore having somebody that I get to spend time with and be
intimate with and all those things. But then when we had a conversation about it and you were like, do you want to fuck buddy, I was like, to be honest, I don't really like for me personally, I need to connect with somebody. I need the emotional connection, I need the intellectual stimulation. I need all of those things. And I've had a one night stand once in my life. I was probably fresh eighteen, and I never did it again. It just didn't feel good for me, you know. But
no judgment to anybody who does it. If that feels good for you, and that's how you get pleasure, fucking go feel life. I love that all you. But for me, and even now in this season in my life, I'm like, ooh, is that something that I would want to explore.
You know, it's cool. I just asked you that question the other day too. I was like, you said, you know, when I was younger, it had that experience, and SAI, when you're younger, it was a hard no after that, Yeah, does it look different now as a twenty seven year old woman. I think you'd come to the conclusion that it doesn't because you still re quiet that connection.
I feel like it still is the same for me, because, like what you were talking about with the value side of things, it's like, well, for me, I value connection, and I value intimacy, and I value being with one person. So for me, I'm like, well, I wouldn't feel good wanting to go bounce, like you know, from a different personal have a fuck buddy or something like that. But again not saying that it's wrong, I just forgot it
just for you. Yeah, get emotionally attached, and that's what you're talking about, Like you're like, Okay, what do you do this? Yeah, what if one person starts like in the other and the other doesn't, Yeah, to cut that off and yeah, hurt their feelings and then they're in love with you or you're in love with them, and you both can't have what you want. And then so that fun sex isn't so fun any no, because someone's
got an emotionally hurt now their emotions involves here. And then I was talking to my other girlfriend about it and she's like, yeah, you just like, you know, separate your emotion from it, be really clear about what you want in the beginning, and then that way, like you know, you know that you're not going to be in a relationship with him. And I'm like, but how do you not fall for them?
Yeah?
Because for you sex is love and connections. Yeah, I start to grow.
And then also connection. But she's like, yeah, but you don't see them for anything else. And I'm like how do you do that? And I don't understand how you do that because I've never had a one night stand. But when I'm kissing Steve and making love with him, that's love. So when you're doing that with a stranger or someone you don't really know, do you still kiss the same as still really intimate and you're into each other and then like see, yeah, off you go about
your day. Yeah that feels foreign to me or or is it like less intimate and then more yeah, just a fuck yeah, not love making. He's a different energy. I don't think you could love. Can you love make with somebody?
Who needed to ask her? I need to call her, honestly, dullah love? Oh my god? Would she? I don't know. Let's try it. That's so cool.
Hi, we've got you live on the air, babe.
Like I did not expect this to much the morning. So good.
Okay, we want to ask you a question. Yes, So we wanted to know if you think it's possible to not be let's say, one night stand or something like that. Do you think it's possible to love make or have like true intimacy with somebody that you're not emotionally connected with. Yeah, I definitely think it's possible.
Yeah, for sure. I feel like when you're with somebody, if you still have like a connection in a lustful, sensual way, like I still feel like it can be, you know, just as connected as if it were with your partner that you.
Are in love with, you know, you feel safe.
And I definitely think it's possible.
Because I feel like when I'm making love with Steve and we're looking at each other's eyes and like we're holding each other and there's just so much love pouring out energetically and physically and spiritually. It's just this depth of connection. Like I can't imagine being with someone that I don't know and still looking at like do you still look in the eye? Do you still kissed them pasionately? And then you're okay, so yeah, thanks for a great time,
Like how does that work? Yeah, I don't know.
I think you have to be fully like comfortable and vulnerable in that space still, you know, like, obviously it's not the same as if it were your husbands that you have children with, Like it's never going to be that same exact feeling.
But I still think you can get that level of connection with somebody if yeah, if you both have an understanding and respect for each other and you know, are friends with benefits situation where you are actual friends but you both know that it's not going to be like a relationship, but you can still enjoy each other's company.
And I don't know from personal experience, I've had a friends with benefits situation and the sex was incredible and passionate and it was amazing, and I did feel connected on a deeper level and it was nice because, like you know, after we were done, we just hang out, have.
A cuddle, and then I go home. And I didn't feel like I needed to overthink anything or overanalyze anything or question how he felt about me and all these things great. I had an amazing that of sex and now I can go home and chill out.
You know. I love that. And then there's like there's also no strings attached to you both know where you're at. You're just enjoying each other's body and you're You're like, you're a woman that love sex, so you get to enjoy that.
Yeah, And do you think it? Do you think that you can like do it? You hear that, ladies, So do you think that it's possible to be able to have that same level of like intimacy and connection and like more passion even if you aren't spending like super quality time with that person? You know, because obviously, like would you have to have boundaries around that? Do you have to do you know what I mean? Like do you spend time with them or is it just like an in and out kind of thing.
I Mean, I can't speak for everyone, but I've had probably two situations where it has been a friend of benefits thing where we know that there's no future and like there's just an understanding of that, but we still enjoyed each other's company and listen to music, had a good time, had great sex. Like I never felt like either of us were annoying each other. We're just friends and still had deep conversations at certain times, but then.
It was like, you know, good morning, kay, and I was like, oh, I'm.
Just going to get on with my day. Thank you for a great time, you know.
But it was just like it both like understanding and respect that we both had for each other, and we still enjoyed each other's company and it was passionate and it was it still meant something, you know. It's just I wasn't the type of like I still am a human being. Were all sexual beings, we'll want to have sex. I mean, I having sex, but I don't want to sleep with you know, a thousand people when I and
that's just hurt me personally. Like even if you are doing that, love that as well, full support, but you know, I was like, I still want to be able to have passionate sex with somebody that is you know that I'm comfortable with respects me and I respect them. Yeah, you know, I didn't want a relationship at the time with that person.
Oh I love that. Yeah, thank you so much, babe.
Thank you.
We appreciate you.
We'd love you.
I'll talk to you later, okay, right, we'll do We'll be calling you for more questions. Love me, babe, Bye bye. It's a hard thing to know when you haven't had a lot of one night stands, you know, whether you can have love making with them or is it just like disconnected and you're just there for the physical act and the art of pleasure.
Yeah.
So I think if you win in with that intention that it's just pleasurable, could be really good.
I just don't know how you can emotionally detach like that. For me, I'm just like I need the emotional connection. I need to be connected to them. They need to make me laugh, We need to have good band to have deep conversations, and then that way my body opens. Whereas like, if I don't have that, I'm like, don't fucking touch me.
Yeah, you know, sure, And it would be hard if you caught feelings for them and then they reject you and like, oh, we can't do this anymore.
And then you have to cut it off and then you lose that yeah abandonment we're in hello yeah.
Or vice versa. If they started to fall for you, you'd be like, you, how to cut this off?
Now?
I can't keep bleeding you on because I don't want anything further. Rat, I just wanted to have fun with you.
But the thing that I wonder about is if you're not actively spending time with them and having the deep conversations with them, but you're only in it for the physical art of the act, then would you not build emotion for them? Would you not catch feelings for them?
I think you could care about them, but I don't think you'd always fall in love with them. Yeah. So I think some people are just you could be physically attracted to but not want to pursue a relationship and get married to them. Yeah.
I don't know, like find them attractive, you think that they're a great person, you're sexually there's chemistry.
I think you definitely could just enjoy the act of sex with someone without falling for them, because it's different. But friendships, you meet so many friends and you love them for who they are, and they've got different attributes and you have different fun with different people for different reasons.
It's a good point.
You don't meet to go and think, oh, I have to marry him. You just enjoy different things about him, Like you just enjoy his cock.
Sorry, we were just having this conversation the other day. I love said cock and not dick.
Like. I've had a girlfriend who is with this guy, and she knew she was never going to marry him, but she just could not get away from him because the sex was so good.
Wow.
Their sexual chemistry was just like magnetic. They could not get enough of each other. But she was like, oh everything else about him, like I would never want him to be the father of my children. Yeah, I don't want a life with him, Like I don't even want a relationship with him. I'm almost like embarrassed to say how much I have sex with him. But the sex is so good. But she was emotionally not not into him, but the sex was just that good she couldn't keep
away from him. Wow. In my head, that's why I imagine for you, like, if you're not wanting to be in a relationship but you love sex, then that can be an option. But also everyone's so different, you know.
But then I think What gets me is like the you know, having to get to know someone, what.
If the sex isn't good?
Yeah, and then energy, it's a lot of energy out. I'm like, I already have a lot of energy out.
Yeah, that's the conclusion we came to the other day for you. Yeah, I was like, who else the time? Just my Vibebrader.
Honestly, I've been using that girl every but.
This is us just talking raw about it, have answers, and there's no wronger rit, you know.
What else is interesting? Tell me what's you know how we talk about You guys are gonna laugh when we talk about funny flutters.
Yes, funny flatters. We heard this, Oh my eyebrow lady. She told me she had them, and I just had not heard that in years, And I told you, yeah, she brought it in to the conversation.
Who just thought it was so funny and it's so true that if you've ever experienced it, you know that feeling that you kind of get in your pussy when like you're really turned on by someone or you're really attracted, or they say something and it just hits the right spot and you're like, oh, that was a bit cheeky. It's like fun and playful. Does that happen when you're wanting to just sleep with somebody?
I would think so surely. Yeah, you're going in with intention to have sex, Yeah, to be turned on and have fun.
See, I feel like I would need that feeling.
Yeah, I don't know I would do it without that.
No, Like, there are men that I find attractive, but I don't have that feeling with do you know what I mean?
So that I'm like, Dan, there was a conversation around listening to your intuition, yes, because you would say, oh, I've met this guy, da da da, Oh, but x y Z doesn't feel good for me. That's a red flag. I'm like, well, there's your answer. Yeah, you know what to do here. Yeah, you know it's not worth your energy out for sure. Your time's precious. Yeah, your gut's already giving you the red flag. It's on.
And it's just because somebody shows you interest doesn't mean you automatically have to show interest back.
Yeah.
I think that's just a cool little thing to kind of pay attention to. Definitely, I remember saying to you just being like, oh, I just don't have the energy to entertain this or do this or have the want to continue talking or.
I think, and it could be a generalization, but I think when you meet someone, you will want to go on that date. If you don't want to, I think it's a big intuition. It's a big gut saying no. Yeah, if your body's not a fool, yes, I think. Listen to that. So interesting. They've gone really off topic.
I really have you know, it's actually funny. Yes, Laila Halmosi talks about dating like it's a numbers game, as if it's business. But she's the only person that I've heard talk about it like this, And I actually respect her so much for it because she talks about dating as in like, of course, you're not going to meet the person that you meant to be with or the love of your life or you know, someone that you
actually gel with if you aren't going on dates. Yeah, And I just found it so interesting because for her, for a year and a half before she met Alex which is her now husband, she went on a date every single week for a year and a half. Wow, And like respect to her for doing it. It's a lot of energy. I don't think I could do that.
A lot of small talk.
And she said on her lunch breaks she was on dating apps and stuff like going on dates and talking to people. And she's like, of course, because it's a numbers game, you think I'm gonna find Like my personal.
Said that, you know, Yeah, he gave it the advice to someone that was really against dating apps. Can't remember her it was, but he basically said, like, if you're not on there, everyone else is your turn sets behind. This is spodern day dating. Yeah, wow, very Yes you can meet people organically for sure, but most people are on there. Yes, and yes there's a lot of fucking
around on there. I'm sure I've never been on there, but from what I've heard from friends, there's a lot of fucking around and sifting through the potential candidates.
Sounds exhausting, but.
Yeah, if you're not on there, then note eves in the population is so they're putting theirselves out there, they're more likely going to meet someone. And most people I know have met on dating sites. Even I met on Facebook my mum and her partner over ten years now, I bet on a dating app. Steve sent you a screenshot the other day.
Oh my god, so Steve sent me this thing and he was like, he's like, I found.
You a keeper, Steve on the Hunts.
So it's like Martin thirty seven. Mind you, he's got like the bull piercing in his nose. You know, I don't know what it's called.
Beard full big beard.
Stretches in his ears, and he goes about me, five foot eight, straight man, less than a mile away. I'm a single father of three. They are my world. If you don't have what it takes to help me raise my kids, then move aside. Let a real woman step up. If you want me alone, you have to pay for the babysitter, must help pay for beard and hair care.
Being this beautiful isn't cheap. Wing face. Must have your own car, preferably a seven seater, must cook clean, be submissive, and no taller than five to seven, no heavier than one hundred kilos. Must be fit and have your own source of income and your own teeth.
What the actual fuck? I wish good show you. I'm already out. I'm fie, so I wouldn't have I wouldn't even have a chance to do. I'm five six, but I don't know, so sounds like catch Steve. You're doing amazing Tiana really appreciates the effort.
As you can tell, it's really fun being single guys.
Yes, a small pool of good guys.
Yes, the pool definitely gets smaller when you will require more and you have higher standards and all that sort of stuff. But it's also good because the ones that you do meet actually end up being really good.
Human That's right. Yeah, you've got high standards. You're a twelve babe. No, to wrap up this conversation, let's talk about sex more, let's normalize it more. Let's not let's take away the stigma and the shame. And it all starts with like when even when you listen to us talking about it, like what comes up for you? Write it down, journal, sit with it? Why is that uncomfortable? Why does that feel dirty for you? Where has that been labeled? Who's told you that? Where did that come from? Then?
Have they been told something? Something's happened along your life journey that has then conditioned and shaped you to think that way? But is it the actual truth? And does it have to be your truth?
No?
You get to create your own life. You get to have your own views and values around this topic.
Oh, I love it, I love it and I think one thing as well, like, wherever you are on the scale of sex, however comfortable you feel or don't feel with it. Maybe you've never had an orgasm before, or maybe you love sex and your pleasure is your absolute birthright,
and you know that no matter where you are. If you are deciding that you want to explore sex, even if it's just on your own, and you want to explore pleasure, be willing to like push through the resistance of your mind, right, because pleasure is a body act.
Right.
If you're in your head, you are not present, and for women, it's very much a body game. So you need to drop out of your head and into your body. And if you have moments of resistance, breathing through it and allowing yourself to just continue on doing what you're doing and just explore with curiosity, like there is no judgment. Your experience with yourself doesn't have to be the externalized judgment that people have. It gets to be a safe space. But only you can create that.
And if you're uncomfortable with that too. I loved what really helped me. It sounds so simple, but a moody room, music, candles and like a nice night or something someone just drops you into the mood, drops you into the space that you just feel relaxing. If you just in your normal environment it's bright lights and you're looking at it,
it just feels a bit more uncomfortable. Like yeah, Like, I also like make it a beautiful environment where you can just relax and take some breath and take nice and slow, like carve out the space and time to be able to explore that with yourself.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Yeah, create it like you would as if you were doing it for your partner. Literally, you think you deserve the same treatment, and when you treat it like that, you'll have a much better experience.
Yeah, I love that. Well cool, all right, guys, thanks for joining us. Bye bye,