Apogee Production.
Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm actually Bynes. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together. Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, find the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and I'm here to be your expander. Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. It's Ashley, your host, and I've also got Katie, my producer here. Hello guys. Today we've got a mystery episode,
which I always get so nervous for these. We've only done one other one, But like, I just don't know what you're gonna ask me.
Because I ask you the questions that I think everybody else wants to know, but that I think will be uncomfortable for you to answer.
That's why I'm like sweating already. But before we get into it, we've got our shares of the week.
Now you're gonna think that you told me to say this, but my share of the week is honestly something that I have been using that I absolutely swear by and love. I am obsessed with the Hideaway Black Sugar.
Oh you love it, just love it.
And I know it's a dupe of the YSL Black Opius. I've only got the moisturizer. Yeah, it smells like you've got perfume one and a moisturizer.
Literally. So we just launched our Black Friday sale and on Shopify you can see the top selling item and the top selling fragrance. Top selling item and fragrance is the perfume in the black sugar.
Yeah, and I'm sure You've got some beautiful fragrances, so I'm not interested in smelling the other flavors because.
Yeah, once you get your favorite, that's it.
And I literally I put it on after my shower and then I put it on again before bed, just so yummy.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's my share of the week.
I love it. Mine is just to get clear on your non negotiables and kind of act as if they are a personal contract to yourself. When you think about a contract, you were signing something over that you were committing to, whether it's a bank loan, whether it's a business contrac act, whatever it is, like, you are signing that and you stick with it because you legally have
to make your non negotiables like a contract. It's a personal contract to yourself that you cannot miss, whether it's taking your supplements, whether it's committing to your three gym classes a week or meditation, whatever you are feeling like you need. If you think about it like a personal contract, it's just it's a non negotiable you have to do it.
I've done that recently with my four K walker day, like, I absolutely have to do it, Like yesterday Sunday, I was like, no, I'm doing it.
Yeah, so good. I think when you have that mindset, you just you make it happen. Yeah, And if something's important to you, I feel like you will always make it happen. If it's not that important, you'll make an excuse or you'll find a story, or you'll justify why you can't do it. When it's that important to you and you've got a contract in place with yourself, nothing will get in the way. Yep. Yeah, all right, let's get into it. I'm sad.
I'll ease you intently though. Okay, some easy ones. If you had to get rid of your looks or your brand, which would it be.
Oh, looks or brand? Probably looks? Okay, Yeah, I mean I'm not a soupermodel. I don't think people are here for my looks. I think they're need more for my depth, my conversations and cool products that I bring out, Yeah, like easy one.
Okay, Yeah, what's your biggest insecurity?
Oh looks wise? Yeah, probably you guys gonna laugh. Probably my saggy jowls. I feel like as I get older, my jowls are just like sagging. And I get botox in my massades once a year for my grinding of my teeth, and apparently if you get that, it makes these muscles quite lazy, so they drop more. I'm thirty six in a month's time, so I feel like these are just dropping dramatically, and I hate it.
I feel like that's something that you notice about yourself that other people don't notice.
I reckon and the eyelid's too, sorry, which Steve was like, I don't understand, and I showed him like, as I get older, my eyelids are getting heavy, and sometimes if I'm really tired, I struggle to see out of my left one, And when I pointed out to him, he's like, oh, I can see, it's like your skin kind of folds over. I was like, yes, that I did.
I yeah, I had that, and I did get the surgery.
Oh you did. What's it called bleffor uh?
Yeah, it is upper eyelid surgery. I call it to say it.
I think I will get that in the next couple of years, because yeah, as I get older, the skin drops more. And yeah, it does affect your eyesight. Yeah, it's not just how it looks. I don't like how it looks, but it's also does affect to how much you see. So if you're really tired, like this skin I feel like just folds over more. So they're probably things a lot of people don't see, but.
Exactly, I love the saying if only you could see yourself how everybody else sees you, that's beautiful. Yeah, if you lost your social media following tomorrow, how would you deal with not having an audience?
I'm in two minds about. I think not having social media in general would be a very quiet life. Like when we went to Eden and we experienced four days of being off our phones. I felt so peaceful and so connected to myself and to nature and just calm. I let my whole nerve. It was like a full nervous system reset. So I feel like life would be very peaceful, especially with I feel like the last couple of weeks, it's felt a lot, so probably wouldn't be
too mad about it. But then in saying that, like I share so much on there, I connect, I learned so much, Like I follow so many cool pages. It would be hard business wise, but I would not hesitate to start again and start fresh. I have full confidence that I would attract and bring in the right people and we could grow it again. It'd be harder, though.
Do you ever worry about oversharing, especially when it comes to your kids.
I get asked quite a lot yes or no. I don't think so. I'm also pretty in tune with when my kids want to be on camera and don't want to be on camera. Tarlet at the moment, she's like Boto camera, like smoothie time. She wants to do the videos like she loves it, whereas Taj, at the moment is a little bit more doesn't want to be on camera unless it's for his YouTube channel. So I actually had a comment last week and it was like, clearly you've got a favorite child because you always show Tarlet
and not Taj. I was like, oh, that's so interesting how someone else can interpreted that, but he doesn't actually want to be in the SMOOTHI videos, and he's at school all day, so like, I don't have a lot more opportunity to even put him on camera, But I don't stress about it too much. If they want to be on camera, cool, If they don't know worries. But I think we're growing up in a world where social media and online is such a big part of most people's work and job, and it's not something we can
really avoid, yeah, at all. But you know, when I get a comment saying, oh, your kids seem so perfect. You never show them having tantrums, I don't pull out my phone when they're having a tantrum. I respect their privacy and that much. I don't ever post Haarler just and her nappy's, Like I'm cautious of that kind of stuff, But day to day, acute moments and fun things I don't mind sharing.
It's so interesting that people would comment saying that you obviously have a favorite child because that's the one you're posting on the title. We all know kids. Like, if kids don't want to be a part of it, they're not going to be a part of it. It's even hard to get a photo with your kids all spelling and like it's impressible and you see the behind the scenes of actually what you're wrangling to do get that perfect shot.
I know, and people just make up their own stories. Like even when I took Targe to Europe's like, I got the same comments. Clearly you have a favorite chart. I'm like, no, he's just older and I wanted that quality time with him because since Tyler's come along and she takes up a lot of space and energy. She's a toddler, She's on me all the time. People will take from social media what they want to take here.
What's your least favorite social media app?
Oh, it's really hard. Gosh, they've all got pros and cons least favorite. I feel like the bullying on Instagram is more okay because people can create actual pages about you. And that's been my experience Snapchat, I don't really see any bullying. I'll say Instagram okay. I find TikTok more addictives, though I love TikTok. I love the videos like parenting stuff, comedy. I feel like people are more raw and authentic. Yeah, I feel like Instagram's very aesthetic, like everyone wants to
look beautiful. The page look beautiful? Was TikTok's just like this is who I am, and like they're just themselves and I love that. Which one do you have the biggest following on? Facebook? Actually? Facebook, I've got like three point three million, but I don't even post on there anymore. I don't really feel connected on my Facebook fan page, Okay, it blew up a long time ago, and I just, I don't know, don't feel as connected. Snapchat's like my ogs.
I feel like they've been with me the longest and the most connected. I've shared the most on Snapchat. Instagram's just always there, and TikTok's just a bit rogue, like I don't really have a content planned for that or just post whatever whenever, and it's just a fun out for me.
So, if Facebook's the one you've got the biggest following on, is that the one you make more money on or not? Necessarily?
No, I make money on Snapchat just being on Snapchat, Instagram. If I do a collaboration, Facebook converts the best when it comes to ads, say for hideaway. What's the other one, TikTok? I don't make money on TikTok?
Interesting?
Yeah, apparently the Creative Fund is coming to Australia for TikTok so. In America they have a creative fund that like, no matter what you upload, depending on how many views you get, you get paid. So if you have one video that goes viral, you can make that, which would be so cool also to get paid for that, and YouTube are don't make any money either, but I'm not really on that consistently.
Okay, yeah, interesting, Okay, here's a harder hitting question. This is about Baseline. Was Baseline still making as much money and was that a factor in closing it down?
When I first launched Baseline, we had like a million dollar launchers, so definitely was not that as it went on. So no, it wasn't making as much money. Did it still make money? Yes, But I think there's so many factors in that. Like through COVID, e commerce spiked. Everyone got all this money from the government, people just spending left, right and center. Everyone I know, the owned business. It was like this huge spike, and then when that ended, it got harder. Also now I think in the active
web space it's so oversaturated. Every fast fashion brand has their own active red label, Like every influencer is doing something similar. So I think it is harder, and you know what, like my passion for running the business dropped. Wasn't putting in as much time and effort. I didn't feel excited, and I think your audience can kind of feel that. But it was still a huge business. It was still making great money. But was the money worth
me continuing on? No, especially when with all my health stuff. If I didn't have the brain surgery and aneurysm news, I probably would have kept going okay for a bit longer until I burnt out. And it leads me on to my next question, because my next question is could you have hired someone to take on more of the work or even sold the brand? Selling for me personally, Yes, it's an option, but it wasn't an option because I had surgery quite soon after when I close it down.
I don't think people realize how much you have to train someone up to take over a brand. That is huge amount of time and energy. So there's that factor, because I got like seventeen offers for it. Okay, Yeah, a lot of people that want to take it over. The second part was that if someone took it over and then they started doing like ugly collections or just things that I didn't like. It was always going to
be tied back to my name. Yeap. I don't think I I could continue, like visually watching someone else take over my brand, So selling was never an option for me. The money that I would have got for someone buying out wasn't worth it. Okay.
Yeah, It's almost like making your business into a franchise and then having other people get in charge of it and then not doing it as well.
Yeah that's a risk. Yeah, it's a risk. And I don't think I could have emotionally unplugged. So I think I would have been watching and stalking and like seeing what they're up to, and I think it would have like consumed me. And the big reason of me closing down Baseline was because I just needed to create space for my health and for my family. I didn't want to have more stress or anything on my shoulders while
I was recovering. Yeah okay, so yes, in hindsight, I probably could have hired someone to take over and do more of the roles. But once again, it still comes back to me emotionally unplugging. I don't think I could have, and even when I hired more staff, I was still that central person that everyone came to all the time. Maybe it's a story, Maybe you can step away, But I didn't feel like I could just step away and
have someone else make all the decisions. I was still very heavily involved in every part of it, and I just needed to unplug. I just felt intuitively the universe was like giving me signs that I needed to make changes.
All it would have taken is for someone to bring out a really ugly pair of tips and the.
Ugly type bring front scenes back. You know. I would have been like, no, yeah.
Which of your businesses has made the most money past or present?
Oh? I think it would be Hideaway now I think so, but yeah, the act of where it was huge, Like still pinch myself that I look back and we had me into launchers, so that's crazy. But Hideaway is absolutely thriving. So I would say Hideaway so good.
And since you've introduced perfumes as well, it's like gone next level.
It was a combination. Hey, it was like I had never really been fully involved with Hideaway. I'd like poke my head in and help with marketing and like obviously posted and been involved. But when I close down Baseline and I have my surgery and I recovered. I then stepped into Hideaway. We had the perfumes come on board, we hired a content creator, we had another graphic designer because we were getting so busy. Steve used to work at home also, and this year he's worked in the office,
so he's really got this beautiful team culture. That's I think he's led really well. So I think a combination of all of that together has just made it explode, which is really cool, really really cool.
And introducing the black sugar fragrance.
Yeah, the perfumes in general, it's crazy. Every single order has a perfume in it, Like I never would think that could be our number one selling product, and it is by far. Yeah. I'm even going into wholesaling, which is cool.
That's so cool. Yeah, that's so exciting. What's the biggest business mistake you've ever made?
Probably not hiring people that are suited for that position. I think in the past, and this is like going back fifteen years. Throughout my time, I've made this mistake over and over again, where I've hired friends or family or someone out of fear. And I recently nearly hired another nanny because nanny's leaving because I was scared that I wouldn't have enough time for my current I need to train this one. And then when I really tuned
and I was like, this isn't the right fit. So I think in the past I've been in a rush and I've just hired them because I've been scared. But you really are gonna learn the hard way. You really can see how having the right or wrong people in there can really make or break your business. Ye, your staff are so important. You've got to have the right people in there. That's probably been the biggest mistakes I've made.
Is it true that you once went bankrupt?
No? Oh, my gosh, where did you get that from? Is that just Google? Really? No? No, we have not been bankrupt. Okay, awesome, And there'd be more public knowledge and my lifestyle probably would have changed if I went bankrupt. Yeah. No, How funny.
Isn't it interesting what you can find when you start.
Oh I've seen on Google that I got butt implants. I'm like, what a ripoff? Where are they? I don't have an ass, Like, what are you talking about. There's a rumor at the moment that Taj is Thor's son. I saw the other day Megan's partner because they look so alike. Godess, it was a rumor ages ago. I'm one of my old friends Greg. He's gay and we used to call him gun Call. Taj would call him gun Call, the gay uncle, And there was a rumor that I had slept with Greg and Greg was Taj's
dad because they looked alike. So Google is funny sometimes. Yeah, there's lots on there.
Who's the most disappointing celebrity or influencer you've ever met?
Oh? I mean I don't go to a lot of events these days. I'm trying to think back of a previous one. No, I'm not going to say the name. I don't want to put anyone under the bus. But there has been a couple that I've really loved following online, and they've come across very outgoing and friendly, and then at an event they don't talk to anyone or like
they're very cold. I'm like, oh shit, Yeah. And then there's been one that the whole group just felt like this one particular girl just felt like she was a lot better than everyone else, and she treated everyone not very nicely. But otherwise, most people I meet are really lovely, I think.
People also don't realize necessarily that when you see somebody online or whether be online or you know, whatever their job is, if it's an extroverts job, a lot of those people can actually be quite introverted in real life. So when you're in a public situation at an event or something where there's lots of people, often those people
are a bit withdrawn because they've gone that social anxiety. Yeah, that's why I almost hesitated answering your question because I don't want to say that they were not friendly, because I understand that some people are not great in group environments, or they've got social anxiety, or you know, maybe they think people don't.
Like them and they're too scared to talk. So who knows why. But yeah, I can't say there's been a really bad experience with anyone. I'm sure you wanted a story, but I wanted the tea and I wouldn't throw any under under the bus anyway.
What's the most hurtful comment someone's written on social media recently?
There's been a couple. I suppose someone called me greedy. Oh wow, which is really interesting.
I didn't know that much about you when I first met you, and I think there are assumptions about you know, the fact that you have a large following, the fact that you have had successful businesses and maybe make some good money and that kind of thing. I think there's assumptions that you are a certain way. I don't think I've met many people that are really wanting to support other people and want the best for them, especially women.
One hundred percent.
Yeah, in terms of generosity and being loyalty of friends. And that's an impressive thing about you.
Thank you all my friends, like I want nothing more than for them to succeed, be happy, but also to be financially free as well. I grew up with not a lot of money. We were homeless at one point. I was out of home when I was sixteen. The stress of money and how you're going to pay your
bills is a stress like no other. So if there's any way, and I've done this so many of my friends, any way that I can help them by growing their following or investing into their businesses, or hosting for them consistently, whatever I can do to help support them, I have
and will always do. My mom used to say to me when I was little, like what do you want to be when you grow up, I would say, I want to help people, whether it's health and fitness, whether it's with money, whether it's with like resources, or whether it's like just chatting on here. I just love helping. I think contribution is just such a high value of mine. Yeah, it really lights me up.
When we chatted about your new co host for the podcast. Obviously we sell sponsorship and advertising into the podcast, which mostly pays for production, but we do do, like just to give people the Noldnes the year. Behind the scenes, we do do a revenue split, which obviously you share with your co host. We suggested to you as a podcast company that you should take a higher split because you've built the audience. So you've built the podcast over
the last two years. You've built the audience, and somebody else is coming in with it already made, and you turn around to me and said, I don't want to do that. It needs to be fifty to fifty. We're both in it together.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's really interesting for people to know, because I don't think that's something that you would tell anyone.
No.
Yeah, but it just goes to show that's the kind.
Of think you. I hate that comment. Around greedy too when it comes to money, because I feel like people look at people that have more than the normal, like have a lot of money, and they're looked at as if they're greedy. But I think money just amplifies everything, including generosity. The more money I have, the more I give. Yeah, the more bigger audience I have, the more people I can help, the more money I have, the more cool things I can do for the people that I love.
It just amplifies everything. So I don't think wealthy people are greedy. I'm sure there's some, but maybe they've been hurt and burned in the past as well. There's probably a story behind why they're like that. But for me, yeah, the more money I have, the more I can help people and do cool stuff for them and with them. To the point where my Mum and Steve are like, you do not have to pay for your friends to do that, Like, why are you doing that? You know
they own their own money. I'm like, because I just have always said if I've got money, I will use it to help people.
Well, yeah, and do you think that's also from coming from not having as much as a child?
Hundred percent?
Now, it's all a bonus.
One hundred percent. Definitely. It is all a bonus. And I don't have an attachment to money anymore. Like, yes, I have my safety net that I like to keep in the banked, Like no, I can pay my bills and everything, but everything else is a bonus. And I just think money's energy. It comes and goes. I don't think there's any point in holding on to large amounts of money to be eighty in my death, beend and
be like oh yeah, ye, save that money. I'd rather be able to help my friends and help people that need it, and build memories and go on holidays and create cool stuff that's living to me.
What is your favorite part of yourself?
Probably my generosity speaking about that, probably my generosity and my ability to listen. I feel like I'm a really good communicator and I can really hold space for anyone and everyone. Yeah. I feel like I draw people in that need to shoulder to cry on. And I love that because I have a lot of space and a lot of time for everyone. Yeah, yeah, I agree with Like I'm literally still in my DMS fifteen years later and I still voice message women on the daily with questions with helping I love it.
What about looks wise? What's your favorite physical feature?
Probably my eyes. They're like this weird green yellow color, and Taj has exactly the same, Like if you put our eyes next to each other, I call them snake eyes. They're like green with this bright yellow ring and they just think they're really rare and really cool and different.
I've got one more question for you. Do you poo with the door open?
Yes? I do. Steve and I had been together fifteen years. There's no hiding nothing, and then like even oh my gosh, too much information. But I know this audience is mainly females, including you, So when you've got a todd lay, you don't go the toilet by yourself. They're there all the time. And the other day I was changing my tampon. She looks, she goes ew, mummy, that's yaky. I was like, how'd you go? Then stop looking, and now she sees like
a tampon laying around. She will literally like, oh no, put her legs upon and be like mummy. Look. I was like, no, you don't need that now, darling. But she like washes everything I do. Yet not yet. We don't hide anything from each other.
Very comfortable when you're a mom, it's a luxury to go to the toilet on your own.
Oh my gosh, isn't it yup and going to the toil in front of your partner. I've heard people say that it can ruin your sex life but doesn't affect ours, So real good what about you? Do you?
This is not about me?
Yeah, but I would have known now? Yeah? I do door open or closed open? Yeah?
I think I'm over closed up bathroom door.
I can't see Jay closing the door. Nah, he's such a cruiser. Whatever. Nah, it's so funny. That wasn't too bad.
Shocked a few of them. I was like, she's not gonna want to answer that.
Yeah, the bankruptcy one makes me laugh, Like, I'd love to see where you've even seen that online? And then the hardest comment on social media. I find comments about my kids really hard because I just feel like it's so unfair. He's nine and she's two, and you're making comments about what they look like. Yep, it's like come on.
It's also that whole conversation around being what's that keyboard warrior? Like being behind because you would never say that to one in real life. You would never see someone in real life and go your kids ugly.
No, oh my goodness, you would never. No, that's really tough. But I don't get that very often. I'm sure it's in gossip pages, which I don't ever go into. But yeah, I think anything to do with kids is really hard. If people pay out of my looks, it honestly does not bother me one bit. It's like straight over my head. Yeah, like that is the least my worries, Like I don't care about that stuff about my family. Or when you're going through something hard like this friendship breakdown, it's like
you're already struggling, you're already hurting. To have other people's noise and opinions, it just like adds another layer. Yeah, yeah, but.
Thank you for answering them.
Well, honestly, I can't wait to do this with our next co host. Yeah, she's very open behind closed doors, but she hasn't been like speaking in front of an audience like this, sharing all of her deepest, darker secrets. She's wanting to do that more. Obviously you wouldn't come onto a podcast if you weren't. But I think she'll be like really taken back by some of the questions.
Well, I'll dig deep. Yeah, I'll do some research and we'll aspare the hard hitting questions in twenty twenty five.
All right, well, thanks for joining us, Thank you, see you next time. Bye bye