Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.
About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back to another episode of She Rises with your favorite.
Co hosts Ashy and Tiana.
Really, I'm so excited to be here with you today. This episode is going to be all about being at
a crossroads in your life. So if you are finding yourself in two minds, you're struggling to trust yourself, or you're just finding it really challenging to make decisions, We're going to help you uncover about what to do next, how to make decisions for you, and how we both in our personal lives have had experiences where we have been at that crossroads and what we've kind of have done to essentially get out of.
It and all the outside noise comes along with it. And we're going to share some personal stories recently that's happened to us and how hard it's been to make decisions because you're trying to listen to your own gut intuition and what's right for you. Then you're also wanting the opinions of the people that you trust, and then there's also the outside noise of social media and it can feel a lot. But before we get into it, what is your share of the week?
My Share of the Week is actually a YouTube channel. It's called Yoga Nidra. I don't know if you've heard it before, but essentially it's a total nervous system reset. So it's a type of meditation that you can do and they have videos anywhere from five minutes all the way up to thirty minutes, and you can choose based on how much or little time that you have. So it's Yoga Nidra and IDR with Ali.
Yeah, yoga or meditations or both mixed together.
No, So you're lying down, it's yoga.
Sounds like it's yoga.
Hey, it sounds like it's an actual yoga, but it's not. It's meditation. And you're lying down and you close your eyes and you kind of just listen and you go through the process with her.
Between yoga Nietra and normal meditation.
This one, I feel is very body away. So she gets you to focus on Let's say, for example, you've got your eyes closed and she'll take you through. Okay, now, soften your shoulders and connect with your breath, and she gets you to kind of go through all of your body parts and really allow yourself to kind of sink into the mattress. It's a really cool experience.
Yeah, I love that you have spoken about those quite a lot.
I love it.
That's awesome. I'm going to recommend where I go for my skin. I absolutely love it. I've been on a skin journey for a very long time. When I came off the pill when I was twenty three, I had crazy acne and from there I picked it. I had scars, got a lot of acupuntia, I worked my gut health cleared up my skin, and that I was left with a lot of scarring discolouration. I just don't have like
that really even complexion. So I go to bo Aesthetics and I see a girl called Tara, and the main treatment I'm getting is skin needling and altering with called skin genesis, and it's a type of laser treatment, but there's no downtime, and I want to go out in the sun and walk and like do my thing and train. So Genesis instantly afterwards, you'll walk out and your skin is glowing stuff. I love it. So I've beginning that
once a month, been going for a skin treatment. It's also the same place that I get my botox and I get my lips some once a year. Yeah, and they're just awesome. I love the girls there. I feel like they're very experienced, they're very more on the natural side. So if you've been thinking about going down that route, or you want someone to really take care of your skin who's so passionate, go and see the girls at boasts. They're awesome. Have to look in not sponsored by the way.
I genuinely just love them. And I get asked about it all the time where I go for that kind of stuff and they're in Palm Beach, So.
Yeah, you do rave about those girls.
Oh I love that.
Oh beautiful. All right, let's get stuck into it.
Oh, let's get stuck into it.
So it can be really challenging when we're going through something and like all we want to do is get the people around us to rally around us, you know, like, especially if we're in a place where we don't feel like we can trust ourselves, the first thing that you want to do is like go to somebody for support because you're like, what's your opinion?
And you value their opinion so much.
You do because you love them and you care about them, and you know that they care about you too.
And you care about what they think too. Oh big.
Yeah, but sometimes that can also be a conflicting thing because maybe what they share with you is something that is not what you feel deep down. Yeah, And then sometimes it can be really hard to discern, Okay, should I listen to this person or should I listen to myself? When you're really struggling to trust yourself, I can be a really challenging thing to do.
And then sometimes you've got your rose colored glasses on or you're so deep in it you can't see things that they can see. Then it can also be triggering when they bring that up and you're like, oh, well that's not how it is. Yes, you know, it can be really hard.
I think, just like a bit of a personal experience, not when I was with silver Fox, when I was with my relationship before that yes, there was a fair bit of that for me. I was really into minds in the relationship just because of things that we were kind of navigating through, and it was a really conflicting time. I feel like I kind of lost myself in that relationship. And I remember coming to you and just saying, this
is how I'm feeling, this is what's happening. And I remember when you first came to me and you know, shared with me your opinion on it. I remember feeling that like internal resistance of like, but I don't want that to be true. And then I remember going to you and then bouncing to my dad and then going to my sister, and everyone's opinion was the same because obviously they're not emotionally invested in it, and I was like,
so deeply in love, so what I thought? And I had my rose colored glasses on.
You know, it does get so noisy. Yeah, it's cool because when we share stuff with each other, we know it's from a place of love or it's not a place of judgment. And I kept reminding you too, like anything we say we're not in the relationship. It is so easy to sit here on my high horse out here going well, what about this and what about that? And you said this and about this. You know you're the only one in it. So even after we had that discussion, I almost like encourage you to go and
explore it again. Yeah, I was like, you have to be one hundred percent sure that this is the right decision for you or not the right decision for you. You almost need to block all of us out for a moment. And what was Tiana want?
Yeah, so just to give you guys some context around what I she's talking about. So obviously not silver Fox, but my relationship before that, I was very much in love with this man, and we were together for about a year and a half, and I genuinely thought that this man was going to be like my life partner. Everything lined up, everything seemed good on paper, Like we had a couple of challenges that kind of stopped us
from being able to really move forward in the relationship. However, once I ended up leaving, I thought I made the right decision and I thought then I was done. I was like, Okay, I've kind of at my limit. This is where I leave. Saying this relationship would mean me abandoning myself more than I already was, and so I felt like I needed to let go, and I did, and then I chose to move on and I got
with Silver Fox. And after that relationship, I realized I was kind of distracting myself from addressing like the heartbreak that I was feeling from that relationship. Yeah, and I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Like I just thought, Okay, well, this isn't working, so I need to force myself to move on because I need to protect myself now.
So many people could relate to that I reckon.
And then after Silver Fox and I kind of split and I left him and decided that I wasn't maybe in it for the right reasons, and I just wasn't fair that I wasn't as in love with him as he was with me. I had like a couple of months of like grieving, and in that time, I realized that I still was very much in love with my ex, and just all of those feelings and all of the love that I had came back. And you know when your mind does that thing, or you never forget about all the things.
That were wrong, or everyone listening's like yeah, a man, yeah.
And I just all of a sudden everything about the relationship was good, you know, and it just reminded me of all the beautiful times. And this was actually right before Bali. Right before Bali, I was in this headspace where I was like, okay, you know, and after having
lost Lucy. Lucy passed away right before Bali, and I remember thinking to myself, like, life is so fucking short if I don't reach out and let him know how I was feeling and potentially try again, Like will it be something that I regret for the rest of my life? And I was so torn and so into minds and just so scared of everyone's judgment around me potentially choosing that.
But then I just remember thinking to myself, like, Okay, I really need to like kind of go within and I need to listen to what it is that I want because at the end of the day, it would have to be something that I live with. Yeah, I have to be the life that I lead, the person that I'm lay in bed at night every single night and spend the rest of my life with. And you did you encourage me to be Like me and your
dad we're like, yeah, me to do this. You and my dad were both like you've got to trust that you've got to follow the pool. You've got to try, because if you don't, then with wonder, you'll always wonder. And I was really in this wondering mindset of like what if you know? And then after having that conversation, we like beautifully kind of like went our separate ways and kind of I got everything off my chest and then it wasn't meant to be something that we were
to explore again. And honestly, after that, I feel really good and at peace with it, and just like I'm able to let it go properly, and yeah.
It's so important to go within Sometimes I love having the opinions of my close people, and so do you. But ye, at the end of the day, like no one else is in your shoes. Even though I'd give my opinion when you asked, wasn't just like, ah, do this and then asked what I thought? And I would share things that you had shared with me or like maybe remind you of how you might have been feeling. I would also say, like, I'm not in it. I didn't even know him from a bar soap, like I've
never spent time with him. I only know what you've shared with me. And how you've felt only you know in this and yeah, I just don't think you should ever walk away from something until you're one hundred percent ready and you one hundred percent know that you've tried everything, you've explored everything, you've discussed everything, and both parties like this isn't gonna work.
Yeah.
I think you did it so beautifully and you really honored yourself. I think the timing was really beautiful as well, because you've got to go Barley and just really be with yourself and be still be with myself, yeah, but still quite noisy and like you're still trying to work and do all the things and grieve Lucy, and it was just it was noisy.
It was very noisy. Yeah. Yeah. Having done that, honestly was like what I needed to do. And when I split up with him, I thought like, Okay, I've tried everything. And then having had time and like a year apart or however long it had been, I was like, Okay, well maybe I still don't feel like I'm at that point yet. And so me having had that conversation with him allowed me to feel like, oh wow, okay. We spoke about therapy, we spoke about what that would look
like and it's just like now it's no longer an option. Yeah.
And I feel like once you did that too, you were like, Okay, I'm ready now to live my life. Yeah. It was kind of all just like always niggling there.
Yeah.
And I've got a different experience with outside noise, and it's business related. So anyone that owns a business, I don't know if you've ever been in a position like this, or maybe you will, so listening to my story might kind of pre prep you. In Hideaway, we love our team and we value their opinions so much. We value our customers' opinions and feedback, like even, for example, the
black perfume bottles. I loved those perfume bottles, but we had so much feedback of people saying they look cheap and tachy, so we changed them. Oh and it took a long time, so many different samples and graphic designers going back and forth and like, oh, I don't like that about it. And now we've got the white bottles. We had comments saying, oh, I prefer the black ones.
It's like, oh my gosh. So in business, what I've learned lately, and I've always tried to be the cool boss, the cool staff member that everyone likes, someone gets along with, Oh she's so crazy. Like ah, Like, I've got this story because my biggest wound is being abandoned or rejected or not liked. I'm very well aware of it. Hence why I don't want to be a team leader, because I'm just not great at it. I just want to be liked. But yes, Steve and I decided to bring
out natural lubricant. We thought this was a genius idea. We were buying a natural loube from America. It was costing me nearly one hundred and fifty dollars once I paid for shipping, and the freaking product. Wow, it's like a fifty meal tube. Yeah, not even a big tube. We like to have sex. We go through that often. So we thought we've got the means. We have our own manufacturing warehouse where we make all of our products. We can make this, So we decided to make it.
We first put it to the team. They were like really hesitant, and not everyone, just a couple. There's a bit of resistance. But we didn't realize the extent of how uncomfortable it made a lot of people. And that's another whole conversation I want to have later on. Not to throw anyone on the bus or mentioned names. We just noticed there was resistance and a lot of them had really strong opinions on how damaging it would be to the brand, how it wasn't aligned, it was going
to be bad on my name. I'm going to copple a lot of hate media. We're going to jump on board. It was uncomfortable. They want to work on it, and Steve and I were really taken back. One I learned that everyone's got a different opinion on everything, and sometimes there's too many cooks in the kitchen. Secondly, this is something Steve and I really want to do, and we
own the business. Yeah, our butt's on the line. We're the one that have to pay the bills, make sure everyone's covert, everyone's got a job like this is our decision, so we had to stand strong by that. And Thirdly, it was just very noisy and I found this really hard. I was really rattled by it. Everyone's opinions and mixed opinions, opinions that didn't agree with ours. Because we were just like,
we can't see the problem with this. I can't see anything wrong with doing this, and it was really noisy, and there was one night at home where it was just really it was upsetting Steve and I and he's like, have we made the wrong decision? Is this not aligned with Hideaway? Is this off brand? And I was like, no, babe, this is aligned for us. It's a very authentic product for us. And sex is not something as you guys
know that I shy away from talking about. I want it to feel so normal and so comfortable, because for me, sex is connection. It's how we create life. It's pleasurable, it's fun, and it's something we all do. Why is that something that we should be uncomfortable with? And a product like lube. I have friends that have pcos. I have friends that get bacterial infections and thrushes from using
products that have fragrances and chemicals and shit ingredients. I care about what goes in and down there, you really do. And if I'm going to use a product, it needs to be natural. So being able to create a product and be in full control of what's actually going in that it's amazing, so important. It was really tough, and we obviously went ahead with a product and it's now
live on the website shameless Plug. But it's an incredible product. Yeah, it was just an example of things can get really, really noisy, and it would be so easy to just be like, oh, fuck it, it's too hard, like everyone's unhappy. My people please wanted to come out and just get rid of it. And even a couple of comments were like, oh, this is off brand, it's not what the Hideaway's about. Hideaway isn't sexual. And I'm like, I did say to one of my stuff and was almost maybe steve'said it.
So when my mom first started Hideaway, do you know her most sold out products what they were? They were soaps in the shapes of dicks and boobs. My poor mum could not keep up. They were the most sold out products for Hens and like Bachelotte parties. That's and we still laugh about it now because like I would go and visit her on a Saturday and she's just in the kitchen with these dick molds soaps and she's packing them up for these beautiful like Hens.
It is so good.
So like we never copped any hate around it for then, and we haven't copped any hate around the launch of the Lube If anything, it was full of support. We've had physios reach out and say like, oh my gosh, I've got women that have just had babies and they need a natural product. It's really cool, Like it's a really cool product. But it was definitely a really hard
moment for me of this feels so noisy. Yeah, but when I bring myself back and I ground myself, this feels right for me and my business and Steve, and we're gonna go ahead with this. Yeah, And yeah, ruffled a few feathers and a few staff members were not happy about it, and I'm so glad they voiced it. I'm so glad they felt safe enough. And like I said, we value their opinion, but sometimes you just have to do what's right for you.
Yeah.
And I could have easily gone into people pleasing and just canceled the product. And we invested, like, you know, over two hundred thousand dollars in this product. Imagine just throwing that all.
Away, Like, and how quickly it is, even what you mentioned about Steve saying oh did we make the rocks, Like how easy it is when there's noise around you, how quickly you can go to question then your own judgment yep. And it's just like so easy can switch and you.
Can do it in a workplace, in the relationship, in any situation. When it's so noisy, you do start to doubt yourself for that minute. And that's why it's so important. I love that like off center analogy, Like if you're in the middle and then you slide to the left or slide to the right, you're not fully clear. Bring yourself back to center by slowing down and getting back connected to your body take a big breath. For me, I was like, why did I want to bring this
product out? I can't get anything in Australia. I care about what I use down there. I love sex, I love talking about it. I normalize it more and I'm in full control of what's actually going into this product. I know this is going to help a lot of people. Yeah, yes, Seguin, it's a big fuck yes for me.
Yeah.
And it kind of like drowned the noise out. So if you're ever in a spot where you feel like it's very noisy, just come back to you, come back to your body, come back to your heart, come back to your breath. Take your time slow and you'll get super clear.
Oh I love that.
It's tricky.
Yeah it is, but it's when you sit in the silence.
Exactly, it all come up. Yeah, let the thoughts and the disappointment and all the things that came up when I first sat with myself. I'm like, oh my god, this feels so uncomfortable. And I don't want anyone upset with me, but I want my stuff being upset. I don't want them feeling ashamed of our brand because we've got a product that's sex related.
Yeah, that doesn't feel aligned, or if there's scary, feel edgy to even look at or talk about it.
I don't want them feeling like that. Then. I'm also like, even this podcast, we do trigger people sometimes, Yeah, and good. I want to ruffle your feathers. I want you to think outside the box. I want you to see what blocks you have. I want you to see where there's shame. I want you to explore who's told you what along the way that makes you have a story that that's wrong, bad, dirty,
or whatever. I want that. I hope they can go within and have that internal conversation with themselves, because anytime I'm triggered by something, especially when it used to be around sex. It took a lot of bravery to sit with that and go, why do I think that's slutty or dirty or bad? Why am I judging her for doing that? Ah, that's my own shit. I wouldn't do
that because I've been told that that's bad. And when you get to unpack that, you dissolve the shame and you can just even if you don't decide to do any of it, you can just accept people for what they're doing. Yes, we're going to do another episode on what we think about OnlyFans sexual energy. Yes, how we are, where we are, different friends we have, and how they like to live. Because it's such a cool, important conversation.
Is way too much shame around it, and it's very clear even in our DMS, a lot of women coming through being like, oh my god, thank you so much for talking about this, because it's just there's so much stigma around sex, especially, there's so much shame, and it just doesn't have to be A dirty doesn't have an uncomfortable conversation, Yeah, it really doesn't. Yeah, So another thing I can relate to the business thing, but mine kind
of looks a little bit differently. So I've loved having business coaches, and throughout my growth journey of like creating my coaching business and all of that, it has been really, really helpful, especially in the moments where somebody else has already taken all the steps. I'm just plugging into them to help me learn those steps.
So cool.
That has been absolutely a game changer for my life and for the way that I've learned how to run and build a business. However, the only thing with that is when you are also looking towards somebody else and you think that they're above you, or you see that them is more experienced, more educated, more xyz. Sometimes their opinion can also be the thing that blocks you from
what you want deep down. So true, right, because as you think, but this person knows more than me at least that's why I thought stool Yeah, which is a whole lot of conversation, right, But I remember thinking towards my business coaches, they know more than me. Of course I would listen to them. They're telling me that because they've done business this way, this would be a good
way for me to do it. But then three years down the line, I felt so disconnected from the way that I was running my business because I was trying to listen to somebody else as opposed to really listen to what my intuitive pool said. And same thing when I had partners, like we've spoken about this before, when I've had relationships with men who are really successful in business, I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to listen to you and do business your way because it's working for you.
You're really good at it, and you are very convicted in what you're talking about. And those moments where I shifted into their way of doing business, I found myself so emotionally drained and overwhelmed because I was so far away from what Tiana wanted. That I was mirroring their way of life, their dream, their way of doing things that I just felt so disconnected from myself. It really did take a lot of time for me to sit with myself and go, what is this discomfort that I'm
feeling with in myself? Why is this creating such discord in who I am and how I feel day to day? Why am I so emotionally drained? And when I started to sit with that and stop running from that feeling, I started listening and I was like, Okay, what is it that you actually want and it's okay if it doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
And when I started to listen to that, I started to follow my intuition and my heart and how I genuinely wanted to live my life as opposed to what somebody else thought that I should do. It wasn't to say that their way was wrong or bad. It was beautiful and it was amazing and helped me and was really smart, right, but for me and who I am and like, that doesn't feel aligned with me. So it really took being willing to go thank you so much for your opinion and your input, and I love and
respect that. And also I'm going to do what's best for me. Yeah.
And every business is so different man runs a business to how a woman runs Yes, is so different too. Yeah, but it's cool when you can learn from them. But then it's so nice to go back to, like, actually, what do I want to do and what's my outcoming? What's my lifestyle? Like do I want to be working like they do?
Yeah?
Maybe not?
Yeah, And I just thought it was really cool to just bring up because sometimes we do do that, like when we think that someone's more educated or knows more or has more experience in a certain area where like immediately they know better than me. Yeah, but it's not always the case, and yes they might know right for them and what's worked for them, but really just connecting back with yourself first and going, no, I know what I want to do. Ultimately, Yes, it's important to connect with.
That ondred percent. Another example I've got is recently with Rambos passing, I briefly spoke about how I was struggling with the grief and how I wanted to get some support. Yeah, and there was some messages saying that like I shouldn't need that because it's not my son, and then I like carry shame around how much I was struggling, And I still sometimes have that intrusive thought of like, oh
think you're struggling. How do you think Megan's feeling, and like valid like what I'm feeling is nothing compared to what she's feeling. But the outside noise and judgment around how I should be grieving has prevented me from getting support, And logically, when I pull myself out, I'm like, well, if I get support, I'm being held and I'm allowing space to cry and to grieve, I can then hold
her better. I can then be stronger for her. But right now, when I'm around her, like I crumble, like I struggle, I feel like I'm not the best at She reminds me nearly every second day how much I hold her, and she's so thankful for me, and you know all the things. I've got a beautiful bond and we do the best we can. But yeah, I feel like I would be able to hold her better if
I got support. But yeah, it's the outside noise once again, which is the theme of this whole conversation, is how much are we listening to that outside noise and what's our actual truth, what feels right for us. But I'm honoring myself. I would be getting support, but I haven't done that because of the outside noise.
And you know, the crazy thing about that as well, is like, who's to say that your grief isn't valid just because it might not have happened directly to you. Yeah, you know, it's like immediately dismissing the fact that you're so plugged into Magsie. You've been her fucking absolute rock throughout this whole experience, and you were there every single day, whether people saw it or not, you know, and you did such a beautiful job and you still are.
You know.
It's like, who's to say that that's not worthy of being supported just because it didn't happen to you directly, Yeah, it has. You're so plugged into her, their family to you like you did lose someone too, and it's just it's hard the outside noise.
And it's like you've watched her lose her son, and I'm sure you might feel like this with Lucy in her family, but you also watch them lose a part of themselves. Yeah, I think I'm gonna cry now, It's okay. I think that's really hard because I'm like, I feel like that part of Magsie is not going to come back, you know. I feel like when she smiles now, like it's a difference smiley, and like there's still joy there every day for her and she's honestly, she's the most
amazing person the way she's grieving through this. But yeah, I think I think that's a big part of the grief that people don't talk about. It's really weird, it's hard to explain. I think she feels that too, Like she literally cleaned it, even like little things she cleaned out her whole wardrobe, and she's like, that wardrobe is not me anymore, Like that part of me is dead. And it's so true, and I think that's I miss
that makes you too. You just want her to be happy and have that energy about herself when I know there'll be I see, I see lights of it, I see moments of it. But yeah, it's grieving Rambo. It's grieving what she had. It's greeving who she was. It's grieving what I know she was so looking forward to all little moments with Rambo. It's grieving what she was providing for Sonny with a sibling. It's grieving Thor's first child.
Is like so much of it, even like Tala with her, Like Tala is obsessed with Rambo hold hold like she doesn't wanted to be in a monkst like kissing him, loving on him. There's just so much in that. But yeah, the noise outside of people's judgments on how they think you should grieve or how they think you should show up, even like coming back online. Oh yeah, Mauta hate I copture that. How dare you be happy? How dare you post a dancing video? How I can't believe you in promoting the.
Podcast posting on sheer Rises.
Yeah, like it was bad. It was so bad, and it's like, oh my gosh, okay, so what's their rule book around how I should be? And just because you see a little dance video, you don't see how I am at night. You don't see how I am during the day. You don't see the moments where I'm like drowning in it. You're seeing a fucking little happy ten.
Second video or even what's funny is like it's not funny at all, actually, but like the dancing videos, and then it's like two minutes later, they're not seeing, oh you break down or like put on a smile for the video and then be like we're hugging after it. That's what it was racking down.
And it was you at our masquerade events. One saw you having a great time, and I saw some comments around that. I'm like, you weren't with her the whole day to see her crying. You saw her put on a brave face and get through the event and do the best you could be. You went with her all day, Like shut the fuck up, Okay, so angry about that. I was like Alice Hart and Horse like they don't see all of that. And that's the thing with grief. It's like no one has an opinion. You're not in it,
you don't know how you're gonna be. You can think that you wouldn't do. X y Z even makes it for her, like she's always had a resistance to show up online and now it's like this beautiful outlet for her, for her to share her story and like, okay, sorry, so tough, isn't it. Take a moment reminded me of that day. Of course, it was fucking hard.
Like how hard it was to put on a brave face that day so hard.
It's like the morning of like finding out that she had passed that morning was so hard, you know, and then just having the funeral two days ago.
It's just very much in my field right now, you.
Know, of course, and I always will be.
I just like can relate to what you were saying around like being plugged into someone and you're grieving your own you're holding your own grief, and then you're watching the people who loved the person who you're grieving as well, you know, you being plugged into Megsi me watching Lucy's like older sister who they will like glued at the hip, you know, like literally like wailing at her funeral two
days ago. And then like what you said, like the part of Megsi that you feel that might not ever come back because a part of hers passed with Rambo. And you know, all of the dreams and things that like don't get to like come to life now because of you know, grief and healing.
Grief is not linear. It is not you feel this on one day and then in six months time you're all good. Every day is so different and little things can trigger it to like I can hear a certain song, I can see a rainbow, I can have a memory probable on Facebook taler like I had a video message from Megsi the other day and she was upset and Tyler's next to me. First thing she said when she saw Ani Meggie Animegi love Rambo. Oh and she doesn't
know what Meggsi is talking about. Yeah, just saw her have tears in her eyes and she fucking knows this does not go away. And like yes, even Megsie and thought fine moments of joy and gratitude and love and they experience even pleasure again. But it's always there, always there.
Just something that changes you, doesn't it. You always hear people who go through grief and they just like come out a different person on the other side.
Said to mom, and the other day, I'm like this ever go away? Yeah? Ever? Just I don't know, like go a day where you don't think about it, that's not hovering over you or horring over them, or just like in the back of your mind like a little niggle. I hate the good haunting, but it feels like it just like haunts you. It's just there, you know. It's really hard. I've never experienced something like this, touch Wood.
I've been very lucky not to lose a lot of people, but losing a child like man and watching someone you love so much lose someone they love so much, it's just unbearable.
Isn't it.
But back on the conversation of Noise, you really have to just go back in and do what's right for you, because no one has any right to tell you how you should be feeling, healing, grieving, what to do in your life. Like only you know what's best for you, and you've got to honor that. But it's really hard when there's so much outside noise, And sometimes I think that's why a lot of people online only show their highlight reel. There's so much judgment to be like, oh,
be raw, be authentic, like show more. But it's like when you do, you get slammed. Yeah, or people have criticized and judge the way that you're doing yet And sometimes I don't like to share something until I'm through the other side and I can teach the lessons. But something like this, it's like, I don't know why this has happened. I don't know how we're going to get out of this. I don't know what's next. I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow. How makes it's
going to feel like, I don't know. This is raw as it get.
Yeah, this is like day by day, isn't it.
It really is? Yeah, the outside noise.
With the outside noise as well. It's just a really important thing. If you are someone who relies on other people's opinions quite heavily, justin know that the way that you filter out of doing that is every single time that you want to ask somebody for their opinion, just stop yourself for a second. Instead of messaging that person, go into your phone notes and type down what you think that you should do, and just explore what your opinion is first before you add somebody else's opinion. And
also other people's opinion can also be a really good thing. Okay, So we're not saying like, don't ask for support, don't ask for the people. We literally like, oh my god, we absolutely do it daily, right, and it's important and you value those people so much, but also it's important to strengthen your own as well. And that's like the core of this conversation is just knowing that no one outside of you except your best friend, like ashually for me,
is gonna know better for you. You know you best, yes, and you can also do really hard things and find uncomfortable answers within yourself, but you just have to give yourself enough space to be able to discover it because it will always come.
I love that you said that. Something else I just thought of them too. It's like, yeah, we know each other's internal worlds, and sometimes I think we do know what's worth for each other.
We do.
Aka your past relationship, however, I think you knew for a very long time that that was not going to be your person. But all divine timing. You had to go through that whole process. You had to have those conversations with yourself, with him, with your dad, with me. You had to do all of that to get to that point of fully knowing. And that's why I encouraged you. Even though I think I knew that this wasn't going to be your person, I fully encouraged to do it
because you had to go through that experience. It's all in divine timing. It's like we've all had those friends that have gone back to toxic x's or people that you know, like, oh, you know, you're not happy. It's like in her own time, when she's ready, something will happen. She'll get out of that when she's ready. It's like trusting them to trust themselves and allow them to go
on their journey. It's not yours to control. When they ask, you can give your opinion in a soft, beautiful, safe way, but like, let them have their journey, let them do their thing.
You know, Yeah, you're right, Yeah, there was a part. That's why I had so much internal conflict because there were things in the relationship that weren't what I needed to feel safe and feel loved in the way that I feel that way, you know, in the way that I feel safe and feel loved, and I think there were things that were missing that were always kind of present for me. That's why I had that internal conflict of maybe I should go, maybe I should stay, and
never really knowing which way to go. But it was being able to explore all of my options, listen to myself, and even though I made that decision to go and have that conversation, the reason why I believe I felt so okay after it didn't go that way, I was like cool, Like, yeah, that was exactly how it was meant to go, because a part of me was like, this is the right path, this was meant to happen.
It was beautifully done. I wouldn't change it.
No, it's the best. So grateful and have so much love and respect for him still.
And also just so proud of like how you showed up and how you handled that communicated that Yeah, and you could have shied away from honoring even having that conversation of like putting your heart on the line to have this conversation again, Like it was so cool to witness you go through that because I think so many people would avoid Yeah, being so vulnerable, you know. Yeah, there's one more example too. I was just thinking of before,
Oh tell us. When I was first studying to become a personal trainer, I never listened to myself, but I remember someone saying to me, oh my gosh, don't be a PTE. It is oversaturated. You'll never be able to get clients, like there's just too many people. And I was like, oh, oh my god, they're right, and I literally went home to see if. I was like, Babe, I like, I don't think I can continue this course because it's so saturated, like I fully believed there were
like it was freaking Bible. I was like, certain, I can't do this. They won't won't be enough clients, will never be able to pay my bills. And he looks at me. He's like, who the fuck told you that, babe? Like ten thousand pets in a year, ten thousand PD's out. Yes, He's like, there is always room for more preteens. When you offer, someone else can't offer how they connect with you, they won't connect with someone else, like beautiful. What I
offer compared to what you offer is totally different. You're this like emotional safe person who can talk about body love is like I just run the sessions like I'm a great trainer. Don't talk about that stuff.
You go.
Everyone's so different and you will attract clients that are right for you. Imagine if I listened to that person, I then went on to be completely booked out and have seventy five locations across Australia, completely booked out of boot cams and a world tour, had successful apps with hundreds of thousands of women that download it.
That's bad US.
That was a bad US pet move.
Yeah you damn. I'm glad I became a pet like you didn't listen to that guy.
Exactly, But how easy it can be to listen to the outside noise and take their shit on. It's their own projection, it's their own limiting beliefs, so just be super aware. It's always like wrap yourself in bubble wrap. You can hear it, but let it bounce away. If
it doesn't feel good, yeah, you know it's good. Anyways, we hope this episode lands for you and just check in where you're listening to the outside noise and if it's feeling overwhelming, go back to your body, your breath and your heart, and then you'll get clarity and what's right for you.
Just one last thing I was squeezing there and something that I actually said to my girlfriend two days ago, who was in two minds about something I just said to her. Whenever you feel like you're trying to make it tough to see, just explore both avenues. Yes, be willing to not have a biased opinion on what you're going through or what you're trying to make a decision on, and go, Okay, what would it look like if I
went all the way this way? And then what would it look like if I went all the way the opposite way? Because then you can logically make a decision, but also intuitively pay attention to your feelings because then you're going, I'm laying everything out on the table. I'm actually really clear about what both directions would look like, and then using your intuition, like your connection with yourself, to go, okay, which one feels aligned for me, and then making a decision based on that, and you.
Get to choose. Yeah, that's your power. You get to choose your life.
And then you can make an informed decision. Yeah it's beautiful, all right, guys.
Episode don't forget if you haven't got tickets to our October event links below, We're coming to Brisbane three hours of fun, connection, learn and growing. Meet and greets, goodie bags, live entertainment, guests, speakers all the rest October seventeenth, and get a ticket and we'll see in the next episode.
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