Apogae production.
We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the land on which we gather today and pay our respects to their elders past and present. We extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together.
Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the lessons to Grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander. Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. I had my brain surgery finally, so stoked to be out the other side of it. Now, before we get started on this episode, what's your share of the week?
My share of the week. I feel like you're probably going to share it too, because I saw you're also watching the same thing. The Inspired and I were laughing like you, Like we were literally cackling.
Why are they so funny?
They are so funny? So it's on Paramount Plus or Apple well Apple, Oh my goodness, but this season's way better than the first one. I feel like you yeah, I feel like the first one they were just kind of getting started and this one has just been watching. Both worth watching, but this one's been like next level funny and they're acting like they're not laughing and keeping the straight faces. I'm like, they're so.
Good if you want a belly laugh or just like a fun show for you on your partner.
It's best, honestly, Like even some bits and pieces like we showed the kids that were appropriate for them and they thought it was so funny, like when they knew what was going on. Oh, it's just absolutely.
There's another one on YouTube called Misfit Minds, but they're just not as funny, and I feel like they're really funny at the start and now I'm like, ah, like giggle, but this one was like full high oh gosh.
And I think too because they're Aussie, like they've got our sense of humor. So when you watch, like you just it's.
Just classic classics. Such a good one. My Share of the Week was just something that I listened to and it was like, sometimes we can catch ourselves complaining about things that we have in our current life, but if you're rewind a year ago or five years ago, like your past self would have dreamt to be where you are right now and just would have been so stoked and so lucky to have the opportionites that you have to have, the life style that you have, the people
around you that have like and yes, things can still annoy you and you cannot enjoy every moment. That's totally
a part of life. But I caught myself the other day just like I was complaining about something and I was like, uh uh, we're not going there because past as she would have loved this to be a problem, Like this is a good problem to have, So true, So just catch yourself and be like, hang on, And I think it can just help you get out of victim, get out of focusing what you don't have, and put yourself in a higher state to be grateful for what
you do have and the life that you've created. And if you're not, also your past decisions have landed you where you are now. If you don't want this to be your life, then you have to change. You have to create the change, be the change, make different choices. That's up to you.
So that's a really cool way to think about it. I love that what would have passed me thought about this problem.
Be stoked. Yeah, past me would have been so stoked. We're going through it with Hideaway at the moment, like Hideaway's just doing so so well, like absolutely popping off. It's the most successful we've been in our whole time of hard haidway, which is really cool because it's worked really hard. But we just cannot keep up with the orders. And the first problem was we had a shipment delay in the actual perfume bottles and a lot of our packaging. So it's like that's totally out of our hands. Now
we've got them. It's just like we're actually hiring more stuff, they're working longer hours, they're doing weekend work, Like we just can't kick up. Was it's so busy, Yeah, Steve sometimes like, oh, that's really stress because obviously you don't
want our customs being upset. But I said to him, Babe, this is a great problem to have, Like, Yeah, how amazing all this hard work that you've put in over the years, all the times where it's been so fucking hard, where we've had the dips and business, because that is normal as well, that you've tried to navigate things, things have gone wrong, things aren't selling or whatever, like this
is a good problem. You've done really well. Like past Steven past Ashley would have dreamt of being a problem. That that's the problem. You can't keep up with a lot of It's so true, you know what I mean, just changing the perspective. I love that. Yeah, So a little background story if you missed what happened earlier in the year. I lost my sight three times in a week. I went to the doctor, he sent me trag to
the hospital. They did a CT scan and they found a brain aneurysm, which was the last news I ever expected to hear in my life. Although when I say that out loud, I'm like, it's not that unexpected because on my father's side of the family, we've lost so many family members not knowing they had one, and then we have family members have them and it have them being monitored. But just because Steve's had one when he was younger, I was like, oh my gosh, so found
that out. Booked in a surgery date and myself up mentally prepared, went into the hospital, fasted when on blood thinners, stayed the night, went to get wheeled into surgery, got delayed, and then later that afternoon they canceled the surgery, so had to go home get a new date. I was honestly expecting it to be canceled again, so I was like, not nervous to go on for surgery, more nervous I
was going to go in and be canceled. Okay, But I went there, got checked in, have my own room, which was really nice, got as much sleep as I could. I work up at two am the day of the surgery, I think, just because I knew it was coming up. And then Steven Tage came in the morning and I got to have some cuddles and they got to send me off, and then they put the canula in my arm. They'd take all my blood, just kind of prepped me with what's going on. Tell me, I'm gonna have a
catho to put in. Surgeries anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. The most common question now post surgery is like, why didn't they shave your hair? But they actually go up through my wrist, which is pretty amazing. Like I've got the tiniest little scab on my wrist.
I can't believe how small it is. It's literally like tiny, tiny, just.
Just incredible the technology, so they.
Can do that and do such a major like thing and go all the way from there as well and make it to your brain.
Yeah, and they can go to your heart as well, which is really cool. Yeah. So yeah, I'll take you guys through kind of the whole process because got a lot of questions, and there's also a lot of other people that have this surgery coming up, or they've found out they've got an aneurysm and they're scared and so many questions. Obviously, I am not the doctor a surgeon, so if you have any concerns with your vision or headaches or anything, there's no harm to go and get checked.
I'm so glad that my doctor pushed me to go get a CTS GAIN because I just wouldn't have done it. I just would have thought it was stress and headaches or my necks out, like I was trying to think of any other reason. Yeah, So I had the surgery. Surgery went well. Steve was there when I work out, which is really nice. Got wheeled into ICU. You have to be in ICU for twenty four hours post surgery
because you're not allowed to get up. You're not allowed to really move to have to monitor you every single hour, come in. If you're asleep, they have to come in to wake you up. Put bright lights in your eyes, test the strength of both of your hands, both of your feet, your leg strength. They have to touch beside your eyes, your cheeks, your shoulders, all of your body to make sure that you can feel everything, just to
make sure that your brain's functioning. Basically every single hour for the whole like nearly twenty four hours that I was in ICY. I think it's in there for about twenty hours.
Wow, So we rewind back a time because I know something. When I spoke to you, you were saying how you're worried, how you're going to feel before going under as well? Oh so how did you feel like the night beforehand and then the morning of like when you're getting wheeled in that process. Because I haven't even spoke to you about.
Podcast. Yeah, sorry, I've kind of rushed through it. I was actually very regulated going in. I felt really centered, I felt really calm. I felt just at peace that this is happening, and felt grateful that I get to have the surgery and that I had so much beautiful support around me from my family, from my friends. I just was in a really good place, like even the morning off I did that. You seen that coconut dance. I was like, in my surge cook Gowd, I was
like dancing. I felt really good. I didn't feel the nerves or the fear that I thought I would. It was one moment, actually, so laying there. When I went downst to the surgical like room where they do the surgery, they had to like prep on my bloods and everything. The guy that was trying to insert my canula, I have never seen someone shake so much, so I stopped him. I grabbed his hand. I said, are you nervous? And he said, no, no, I've just had too much caffeine. I'm
not kidding you, babe. It was like he'd had five shops coffee and he was struggling to get it in because he was shaking so much. And when he walked away, I said to that anesthetic surgeon, I was like, is that normal? Thank God he's not doing my surgery. So that moment there made me feel a little bit nervous, because then I got in my head. I was like, imagine my surgeon's having an off day. Imagine if they've had a fight with their partner. Imagine if one of
their kids is sick at the moment. Imagine if they've just found out their mum's dying and they're not there like emotionally or like mentally there. Imagine if they had wines last night and they're shaky with their hands. So I started to get a little bit in my head with that, but I quickly resent it. I was like, you're safe, this is all going to be perfect. You're all good. And then I can never say the word is an anesthesiast. He came in. He still come. I'm
gonna give you a little injection. He said, what's your favorite cocktail? I said, I don't drink. He's like, if you go to drink? I said, oh, sow emmereto. He's like, perfect, I'm going to give you an injection that's going to make you feel a little bit like you've had a couple of drinks. I was like, okay, cool, and it gave that to me in a minute later. I was like, oh, I know what you mean. Fun. And as he was doing that, he wheeled me in and there's probably like
ten fifteen people in the room. So I'm just looking around observing. She's like, what music do you like? I said, chuck on some Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift song went on, I can't remember anything else.
Wow.
They didn't even do a countdown? Did you do account?
No? I was out going because I always remember that, like Conden.
I've had my boobs on. I remember counting he gets like a but I cannot remember. I remember listening to Taylor and I was gone, wow. Yeah, so it felt really good.
Yeah, considering it's pretty nice, smooth sailing.
Yeah, which made I think be a bit naive to the recovery.
What did you expect the recovery to be?
Like, like in your head?
Had you like ask anyone about it? Obviously you had Steve a long time ago.
He woke up and had to be put in a coma. He couldn't see it. His whole skull had been cut open from the top right to the bottom. Yeah, he was in hospital for like six months. He was so different to mine. So he had me, they're going to be doing these tests every hour. They had told me they'll be coming in every hour to wake me up to do them. So I expected I would have little micro naps in between when they wake me up. I would expect that'd wake me up and I'd go straight
back to sleep. Yeah, I've never had a catheter, said, no idea, what was involved with that? Yeah. I just honestly thought, oh, sleep, and in between, I'll watch a TV series and stoke to get to watch TV series uninterrupted. Yeah, Like, I honestly thought that I'm going to make the most of being hospital and just chill out, watch some TV series and just maybe read it with my book. Yeah. Yeah. So it was probably the hardest twenty four hours of my life. Yeah. So when I woke up, Steve was
there and I was a bit drowsy or whatever. Steve saved for a couple hours and then he needed to go home to the kids. The first thing I remember properly once I was fully awake was the neurosurgeon coming and telling me surgery went great. It's all gone to plan, however, and that's when I was like, well, Steve, with you okay, I think that really woke me up. Was like, however, He's like, we have found another one, and I was
just like, oh, okay, okay, tell me about it. And he said it's very similar to the one on your right hand. Side, and he said, but you're very lucky because this happens often when there's one, we find a second, and often we find a third. There's no third, there's only a second. I was like, ha is that meant to make me feel better? Because it's not. But I was like, oh, okay, And I said, do I have
to do all of this again? And he's like, most likely, but we meet every Thursday to discuss everyone's cases and then we'll decide what's going to be the best for you. More than likely. It's very similar sizing. It's a more shallow aneurysm, but it's very similar. So at your age, we would want to just probably do what we can to make sure that it's not going to rupture. It was a massive shock to my system. I called Steve, and his whole face, like his whole energy. I just
I felt even bad telling him. He was just like, you're kidding. Call my mom. She was just absolutely shocked. She always puts on a brave face, but I just can read my mom and I could tell she was devastated. So I kind of had to like process that. But I had a beautiful nurse during out the day. She was amazing so caring, so nurturing, so soft, so sweet. I felt really good to just cry to her if I needed to. My catheta never worked like properly. I had to like bring the tube up to drain my peas.
I constantly felt this discomfort of needing to pee. But she was just really lovely. And at six pm we swopped over to another nurse and she was the biggest vibe, like just so like us, very funny, very easy going, cracking, like silly jokes, even like sexual jokes, like for example, they wanted to see how much we I had in my bladder, and like the thing that they do on your tummy, it looks like a big deal do and she picks it up and she's like, eh, what does
this look like? Like that's funny, And I thought to myself, I am so grateful for these nurses. They are just beautiful, and I've got epic ones. I can do this. I can get through this night. And at eight o'clock she comes in and she's like, I'm so sorry, but I have to go to another patron that is incubated, and I'm the most experienced nurse here. You'll be having this gentleman, takeover. My stomach dropped. I just I looked at her like,
please don't leave me, but he was standing there. I didn't want to be like, oh, I don't want you, but I just did not feel a connection or vibe from him straight away, And my intuition was right. He had no bed manner, no empathy. Every time you touch my catheter to drain it, it's like he was ripping it. Anyone doesn't know where the catheter is. You've basically got this like balloon and tube up your vagina to drain your pea because you know how to get up to
go toilet. So every time he would pull it, he's like yanking it. And at one point I was like, can you please be a little bit more gentle. That's like yanking on my vagina. It's very uncomfortable. And yeah, at one point it was like eleven thirty. I hadn't slept. I've been up since two am, so it's getting on. I haven't slept for over twenty hours apart from when I was in surgery. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm not feeling good. I'm very uncomfortable, like I've got massive bruises
on my arms where the canula were. Every time I moved that would hurt. I hadn't eaten. I just felt shit and I started to emotionally just not feel so good. So I started to cry, and I was like, can I please get this catheter out? And he's like, no, you have to have that till eight o'clock in the morning. I was like, can we do something else because I'm so comfortable and like he was like, oh, there's not much I can really do for you, and I just
like burst out crying. I was like, oh, can you please leave the room, just gonna call my husband, and I called Steve and I said to him after this, I was like, I can't remember the last time. Like I cry a lot, and I allowed my feelings and emotions to come up, but I can't remember the last time I hyperventilated. It was almost felt on the verge of like a panic attack where I was just like
could not get my breath back. I was crying like I can't do this, babe, Like get me out of here, Like I can't get through the rest of the night like this so uncomfortable, like everything hurts. Got a raging headache, which is normal after an aneurysm as well, and he just took some breaths with me and like just spoke to me and got me at a calm estate. So
that was really nice to talk to him. And then my girlfriend Beth messaged me and I was like, are you're awake and she's like, yeah, babe, I'm in Perth. That's Perth time, give me a call. And it was just so nice to talk to her as well. She had me giggling and laughing and where her weddings in Italy, so so we're talking about that. By that time. It must have been like one thirty in the morning, and I was like when I hung up from her, I was like, okay, talking to myself and like, you've made
it through the first half the night. This sounds really dramatic, but when you're in it, not sleeping for over twenty four hour period, feel like you're going crazy. It's actual torture. Yeah. I knew I wasn't going to be sleeping for like probably another twelve even twenty four hours more because it's just so hard chutting on you kept checking on you, it's noisy, it's uncomfortable. Also, you're on this inflatable mattress,
So it's only in the ICU. Every three to five minutes, your mattress to flats and then it inflates again, so it.
Goes keep the blood pumping, is it like.
Must be something to do with it the pressure, so it makes a vibration and a sound. So every time you're not off, Yeah, mattress is going off in ten So that was another thing. So yeah, got to one thirty, I was like, okay, I can get through the rest of the night, kept watching my TV series, kept trying to stay hydrated, even though I was so uncomfortable. Obviously
made it through. And then first thing in the morning when the doctor came around, I was like, please take the catheter out, like leave everything else in, but can I get that out and go toilet? My blood pressure naturally is really really low, and when I went up to go to the toilet for the first time, dropped down to like seventy six, which is really low. So I felt quite dizzy, but I just had two nurses beside me that walked into the toilet. That felt like
absolute heaven. You never would think you just take going to the toilet for granted, because this is what you do a million times to day when you don't have the ability to go toilet and sit on a toilet, Oh my gosh, it is so nice. And then I got taken back to the normal ward where I was sharing a room with the lady who had had the same surgery as me, and she was really really lovely.
She just loved to have a chat, and I had no energy to talk, so I like close my curtains, put my headphones on, but she would like poke her head in and like want a chat, sit on the end of my pick. And she was old or so she probably just wanted a company. But I really felt like I just had no capacity for anyone. But Steve obviously came visited again, which was really nice, and then just got through that twenty four hours before I got
to go home the next day. And then yeah, I really didn't sleep much for I think three or four days. It was very very short. Even when I got home. The first night, I got sleeping side and it got to midnight and I was like, oh my god, I'm still not asleep. I'd taken two melatonin that normally would knock me out, it didn't, so I only had about four hours that first night. It was just rough sleep.
Anxiety is so realist, like when you're gone a long period of time where you don't sleep, you're like fixated on you, like I just need to get sleep. I just need to get sleep. And then you're sitting there and you're like, why am I not going to sleep?
When in hospital? On Monday had surgery? Tuesday was home Thursday, Friday, Saturday I rested heaps. Sunday was still a slow day, but I just woke up feeling much better. But I hadn't gone toilet for like four days, which is very unlike me, and if you know, you know, that just makes you feel so crap. So Steve was like, why don't you just go for a walk intended He's like, just go for a light walk, at your body moving.
I beat you that, I'll get you going. And it did, thank god, because you just feel toxic with when you're.
Growing, honestly I do, and all the stuff that's been in your body too for the surgery.
So we just went grocery shopping and then I cooked heaves and we had a few of Tug's friends over. They sim in the pool. I meal prepped and just cleaned up and hung with the kids, and it was just the nicest day. Just had full blown gratitude for my family, for my home, for my health, my body being able to put makeup on, like just a full night's sleep. Yeah, it just was so grateful. And now I'm just waiting for the phone call to what they're
going to do for surgery. So if I have to go for another surgery, which is very likely, they have to wait for two months to make sure this one's worked. And I also said to them, why did you not fix the other one while you're in there, and he said, because you hadn't given consent. I was like, damn it.
Oh, so if they put something in there to say, like if we find anything else, then.
They can't do that either though, because if there was a bleed or a stroke, if something happened on the table, they need to know which aneurysms come from, and they're dealing with multiple that it's just more complicated. He's like, I know it might not seem like major surgery to you, but this is major surgery. I have literally been inside of your brain. Yes, So it's just one at a time, so it'd be in two months time. So if I go back it'd be around October November. Yeah, I'm secretly
hoping they say we're just going to monitor it. But my mum and Steve were like, no, you got to get back in there because otherwise you are literally walking around like a digcking time bomb. You just never know if it's gonna rupture.
And then you got in the back of your mind until you do get surgery that it's there.
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, And like, will I be better off knowing what's coming or maybe more traumatized and more scared because I know what's coming? Maybe, like how I wonder how?
So I feel like your experience with the catheter made it so annoying as well. I don't think that's a normal experience because I had one when I had my C section, and although I was numb at the start, I feel like at the end you can feel it a little bit, but it shouldn't hurt.
But then one nurse had said to me, oh, did they insert this when you were on the table asleep? And I said yes, and she rolled I. She was like oh, I was like, what does oh mean? Yeah? Is that like? Does it not work as well? But the really nice nurse I had the second time she tried to readjust it. Yeah, it didn't help. I was laying on my side a little bit elevated. It helped a little bit more. So I constantly was just trying to be on my side. But you also just feel
so dehydrated. So I wanted to keep my high. I bought these like salty sachets. They were flavored, but they're all natural and had magnesium, potassium, and sodium in there. I really want to just keep really hydrated. Yeah, so I was trying to drink keeps those, but then I was just you know, you're busting for the toilet and it's painful. That was me for the whole time I was in ICU, So it did not ease off. Uncomfortable
and also just frustrating. When you're emotionally like stretched at that point from no sleep, I just feel like everything feels harder. Yeah. So I hope that has stretched my capacity to be able to handle a different type of stress, like a health stress. So hopefully next time I'm better. I must say I've definitely gotten so much better at self regulating, like I can bring myself back in but in the moments, I don't want to say weakness in the moments of struggle, I had people there that just
were there. You know. Without that, I don't know how I would have gone through that. Yeah, it was brutal, but I mean out the other side, I feel better than ever now, so grateful for it. It's taught me so much. That's the thing to leave. I was like, what's this second one taught you? And I was like, that's what I'm not sure of yet. First one taught me so much and I made drastic changes, Like I closed down my business of eight years. I've fully slowed down.
I'm stepping to my feminine I've hired a coach to help support me with this new like way of living. Yeah, I'm trying to break so many old beliefs around who I am and what I need to be to be loved and successful and working on so much like And that was all from that moment of finding out how to aneurism my universe. I've learned a lot, I've taken on. At what more do you want from me? I don't know what the second one's taught me. Is it just to keep surrendering? Maybe I do not know? Man, live
I was like, I'm not sure. Actually, don't know why I said that the universe is being an asshole. I was like, no, there'll be a higher purpose for it. And maybe it's just I don't know, to keep creating impact other people will not feel alone.
Maybe that's the one that would have gone bad if they didn't spot, you know what I mean, Like maybe the fact that the doctor spotted that one.
Yeah, it's lucky, Like I definitely feel lucky. It's weird how like you can have so many emotions existing at once. I hate on social media. It's a downfall of social media. If you express it you're struggling with something, or you're having a hard time with mum life, or finances aren't great, or your business is not growing great, or I'm in hospital finding it really hard. People are like, oh, you should be so grateful you've got the surgery, you should
be grateful for this. I am, but I'm also in the thick of it, and I'm also experiencing all of these emotions, and I'm not gonna shame any.
Of those human beings.
Yeah, and that is part of my experience. Like, those heavier, harder emotions should not be ones that we just park over there. I think everyone should be able to feel all that when you're in the thick of it. If you don't feel it, you just store it. Yeah, and that comes out in toxic ways later on. But yeah, proud of my body and what it's taken me through and how I have come out the other side and
it will take me through again. I also asked the neurosurgeons because obviously Steve's had one and I've had one. With our kids, we're going to get TAJ and MRI next year, and he said, wait till they're fourteen or fifteen. Okay, things like I wouldn't stress too much, even though age which confuses me because it can be born with them. But Steve said he started to have fits and that's how they found his His was more in his teens
as well. But he said, yeah, wait till he's fourteen or fifteen and then get an MRI.
How many people are walking around do you know with an in.
Twenty in twenty or brain any aneurysm?
Wow, there you go.
That's pretty crazy, hey, which is sounds really common. Yeah, And I don't think you hear like you don't see it on the news or hear about people dying from unless they're famous or something, but it's very very common. I think if you ever have anything to do with your site, really intense headaches, why would you not get tested, Like, just go and get a check, go and get a CT scan and an MRI and just have it looked at,
and they might decide not to touch it. They might just monitor it, but at least you know.
So, were you having headaches as well?
Yeah? Yeah, it was more that week though, Like I would get the loss of vision and then the headache would come on, but I would quickly take voltairean or neuropin to stop it. Yes, And I feel like before that, headaches would pop up normally around my period, but I just thought it was information. Who knows. Yeah, I just think if anything is not feeling right in your body, why would you not investigate it. That's your body giving you a symptom and a sign that something's not right
and there's a root issue to what it is. You can keep popping your patot all and taking whatever, but it's such an opportunity to figure out exactly what's going on and potentially give yourself a second chance of life. Absolutely, Like if I didn't go to the hospital, imagine if this burst next year and my life was lost, my kids are left with my mum. Yeah, and it could have been prevented. That's the thing. These can be prevented. Yeah, just cool now yeah. Yeah. So that's my message everyone.
If you think something's not right, like, go and get it checked. Yeah. Yeah, So glad that it's done for you and thank you. Yeah until next time.
Yeah, wait and see what happens is the next one.
Yeah. Yeah. And my heart goes out to anyone who was going through any health issues. It's not fine, anyone that's in hospital, like even when I was in hospital. Her name's Alano. I think can actually leave her go from the account in our description box. Yep. She's a little girl called Daisy and her brain is riddled with tumors. They've had to move into the Brisbane hospital. They've got two other children. So her little girl was like asleep all the time, Like there's videos of her just like
out at parks and just like couldn't keep awake. The doctor's like, no, she's fine, she's fine. The mom was like, she's not fine. Got it checked and her brain's riddled with tumors. So she said her brain is unfortunately covered with tumors. They were trying to remove as many as they can, focus on the ones giving her bad seizures. We've met the surgeon, been given the paperwork. They just waiting on her genetics to come back before operating in case they find out it's not safe to do so.
It's been a very scary week seeing her look so lifeless. But hopefully this operation may even help a little. She's like, I've been living my worst nightmares as a parent. I wish I could take away all of this pain from her. It's just heartbreaking. Whatever you're going through in life, There's just so many people out there struggling. And I was
in there for a couple of days. I can't imagine the families that are in there, Like, I'm so glad I had to go through that, not my kids as well, but my heart just goes out there to anyone who is in hospital struggling, who has family in hospital, who you have a curtain you're coming up, Like, whatever you're going through far it is not easy on your body physically, mentally, and emotionally. It stretches you in more ways than you can think of. If there's any way that you can
help another family like we will. You can donate to a Daisy's family or put that go fund me in there. Everyone could dig deep. That'd be awesome. But yeah, otherwise that's my journey. What a journey. PS. This is a new mantra that I've been saying to myself, and it's just I have everything that I need right now. It kind of relates back to my share of the week, but like whether it comes to support, love, my resources, food, like literally anything. And when you get stuck in a
lack mindset, you turn into a victim. If you actually look around, you have everything that you need. You can always want more. That's totally fine to have goals, But when I was in hospital and coming out of hospital, and just even at night when I'm sitting with my family, I'm like, I don't need anything else. I love life and I love having goals and things look forward to, and there's different things that I would like to achieve or buy or whatever I want a sauna, beach, but honestly, like,
I'm just so happy and attent. I have everything I need right here right now. That's beautiful. PS.
Luxury is waking up being able to say I love it here. I love who I've become. I love how I've healed. I love how sure I am of myself. I love how I believe in what I can do. I love where the roller coaster of life has taken me. I love that I allow myself to feel free. I love that I can let go. I love that I can say no. I love that I can give love, and I love that I allow love.
That's so nice, pretty, it's really pretty.
I saw it.
I was like, that's really really really that's nice. Yeah, alrighty guys, will wrap it up here and we'll be seeing you on Wednesday. We'll see you then. By bye.