Apologie Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.
About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back to she Rises. I'm your host, Tiana and Ashley.
Welcome back guys.
If you missed our first episode on Monday, it's a kind of welcome to she Rises. Who is Tiana? How we met? The plans the podcast? If you miss that one makes you go and check it out. But today we're talking New Year, new goals or are we I feel like it's so good to set your intentions for the new year, but sometimes it can be a little bit here we go again. Yeah, we want to talk about how we do it, our perspective on it. We really want to reflect on twenty twenty four, talk about
our three fun words. It's going to be kind of like really leaning into when we're making decisions, when we're thinking about who we want to be and what we want to bring into our life what we're saying yes and no to. It's going to come down to these three words. If they kind of don't a line, it's a hard no. And a couple of lessons that we learned last year as well that are really going to help propel us forward in twenty twenty five.
I'm excited to say, not excited to say goodbye to twenty twenty three, but I am please see y'all, but
more of like grateful and happy that you know. I feel like it was such at least speaking for myself, it was such like a year of like hardship and she's such a heavy word, but like more like I was learning a lot of lessons, Yeah, a lot of lessons about myself, about life, about behaviors I want to let go of, and like a radical conversation that we get to have this around this new year, new me kind of conversation, but with a little bit of a twist.
Last year was a lot and everyone that I know or spoke to was going through so much transformation, transition, a lot of shedding and like go I know, for myself, it was huge, like where it was this time last year to now, like I don't have baseline anymore. I've had one brain surgery, I'm about to go into a second. My lifestyle has changed, my relationships like done leaps and bounds. I just feel so much lighter coming into this new year.
I know it is just like another day, but the new year represents like a new staff for me, and I really feel this like fresh energy. But it's also really cool to reflect on last year and what it did teach us and what we're going to be bringing or saying yes or no to. And my word last year was surrender because I felt like before that I was very attached to people, to situations, to things. I just wanted to be a certain way. It was coming from a place of fear. I wanted to just surrender me,
like whatever's meant to be will be. The universe, it's already ten sets ahead of me. Just have more trust in the universe, have more trust in myself. Whatever happens to me is there to serve a higher purpose. Even like finding out about my brain aneurism. Yes, it was one of the hardest days to hear that news and learn I've got to have surgery. But honestly, it changed
so much for me for the better. And without me getting that diagnosis, I suppose I don't think I would have changed as much as what I did, and I wouldn't have been able to step into this new version of myself and be able to live this life I'm living. I feel so much more emotionally peaceful with all the decisions and changes I made last year, and it.
Feels really good. So I'm really glad.
I actually lent on that word, and that's why we want to talk about our three words were brought in three this year, not just one, but yeah, last year for me was surrender, and I really felt like I did surrender and just drop in and trust the process more. So I'm definitely continuing that in but I'll share my three words going into this year. It's fun, flow, and curiosity.
I just want to have more fun. I feel like since I closed down baseline, I have invited more play in and we said it in the last episode, but things get to be however you want them to be. We get to make work fun. We get to make being with our partner's fun. We get to meet me with our kids fun. We get to make whatever it is fun. I want to bring more funy in if it doesn't bring funny and I'm like, well do I want.
To do that?
And it's not to say running a business or being a parent. That isn't things that you don't want to do that you have to do. I don't really want to change three nappies every single day, pooh nappies, but.
You gotta do it.
It's not fun but whatever. But it just mean in the gist of it, like as a whole, I want to bring more fun in. I want to bring more flow. I worked with a feminine coach last year and I felt like I really had to drop in more and trust more, feel more, and it helped me become more flowy. The thing Steve and I went through last year as well. He was such a rock for me and so that protector, that rock and that support and I was even saying to him last week since he stepped into more of that.
He's always been that, but I felt like last year he was, I don't know, really stepped into it for me. It helped me soften and flow more. I feel safer to flow more and just trust more. And then the last one's curiosity, which was inspired by you because you said curiosity has always kind of led the way for you. If you can leave with curiosity, for me, it just means I've got an open mind. I'm like curious, like, ooh, if I get this opportunity or I meet that person
or something happens, like, get curious on it. What does that feel like for me? What are the options? Where can I go with that? Where could that lead to? Even if it's not for me or I decide to say no, I'm still gonna be really curious. I'm not going to shut it down straight away out of fear, out of judgment, out of a place of lack. I'm going to be really curious on everything. Ask more questions, do more research, explore it more. And that seems really
fun for me as well. Yeah, so I feel like those three words together are really cool.
That's beautiful. They all kind of like interlinkers. They do, and I feel like you've already done a lot of that. I'd be curious. What does more play look like for you this year?
More fun adventures with people that I love, people that bring up my inner child, people that I can be silly and playful with. More holidays. I'm booking in the holidays, this year and I'm making them happen. I feel so free in fun of it, like everyone does. But last year I said I wanted to do more decades and holidays, and yeah, we went in a couple of good ones, like went to Europe with Taj, which was awesome, but Steve and I didn't get away like we said we would.
And I want to bring more of that in. And it's also the friendships that I'm around. A lot of the friendships I'm around are really playful and feminine, fun, and they've got a very curious mindset. Yeah, the older you get, you do get pickery and choosier with who you spend your time with. And it doesn't mean there's any bad blood or you hate anyone or sometimes something hasn't even happened, but you're more drawn to the people
that align with where you're at right now. So true, what are your three words?
I love that that's so beautiful. You feels good good, And that's what twenty twenty five gets to be about. It gets to feel good. Actually, we had this conversation the other day where we were like, why don't we get to have it all? Yes, Like that's the whole conversation in itself, but like, why don't we get to have it all, all of the things that we want and that bring us joy, And like why can't life
be about filling it with things? And I think you do this really beautifully already, Like we'll talk about micro moments, and I think you do this really beautifully where you interject the things that you want in the micro moments of life, you know, like when you spend time with the fam, or like you know, when you're with Steve or with the kiddies, or like with me or like other friends. She doesn't allowed to have other friends.
You can love them, but you must love me more. It's all, It's real. The other day I was like, that is so us so territorial.
But yeah, you do that really beautifully where you interject the things that you want in your everyday life. And it's just like that's what it gets to be about every day, Like that life is the micro moments. Yes, it's everywhere, and you get to experience it everywhere.
Because I felt like the playfulness was more just when I was with my kids. Yeah, I'm like, why can't I bring that to every aspect of my life? Why can't I make work more fun being more fun with my husband. Why does it have to be serious? And like does a parent have a work hat on all
the time? Yeah, Like I want to be playful and slip with him as well, and like being more conscious of that because you can get kind of stuck in your ways and stuck in a rat and get in the groundhog day of like routine.
Or whatever every day life.
Yeah, And I felt like when I ran basline, it was very much in that it's very in my masculine, very struck, and I just did not feel good. And now it gets to feel good because I'm choosing to do things differently. Doesn't mean it wasn't hard to close that down and make that decision, but now it feels more flowy and easy.
But what are your three words? Enough about me?
Know more? My three words? So last year I had three words as well. Last year was devotion and the second one that I can remember was action regardless of emotion.
Oh wow, there's two.
Things that I want to speak to you on that. So whilst I allowed myself to become and my focus was self discipline, I think there's absolutely a time and a place for that. And it was a really beautiful lesson that I really wanted to learn over the year of like consistency with myself and commitment to myself and the things that I was saying that I was going to commit to regardless of how I may feel day
to day, because like we know, like that fluctuates. As soon as I get a period, all I want to do is sydneyt ice cream, Like do you know what I mean? Like it's like those like influxes of different moods, and I really just wanted to prove to myself that I could do those things and be really proud of myself for that. And so even the word devotion for me last year was like I'm staying devoted to myself. Love that. And the interesting thing about that vulnerable share.
But I'll probably touch on this in a different episode. There was a part where I didn't stay devoted to myself in a relationship last year, and so it was almost like life had given me an opportunity to say, Hey, how devoted are you to yourself? And I had to go through that experience of not one hundred percent devoting to myself but giving that to somebody else instead. And so I think that was a huge lesson for me in twenty twenty four, but also is and has made
me who I am right now. And I cannot tell you the contrast of who I was six months ago.
See the difference to who.
I am now so like bizarre and it's amazing.
I had been weird to almost watch it because I've like watched the transition. It's seen it in real time. Yeah, but you're amazing beforehand, but then it's like everything's changed. It's so cool.
Yeah, so many different parts and yeah, so a lot of last year was really just like rebuilding that relationship with myself, as it is every year. But this year, whilst action regardless of emotion has the time and a place, I really didn't honor what I wanted and needed in some places. And so this year, right my word one of them is still devotion, but devotion to what it is that I need and want, but tapping into my
intuition with it. Yes, discipline always we need to discipline and self control on all those things, but checking in with myself first, is this actually direction I want to go in? Is this actually aligned? Is this what I
genuinely want? Or is this what I think I should want because other people want that, you know, And I think I've had trouble with that in the past of being like no, no, no, I want this, I want XYZ, but then deep down having resistance to it and being like, oh do I actually yeah, So there's that part.
Yeah.
My other one is curiosity. Yes, so I like live by the word curiosity. I love what curiosity encapsulates because there's no thing that you can't work through, move through, discover, or create when curiosity. Yeah, when you have curiosity, and it's like curiosity about myself right, because every year we grow, evolve and learn and change, Like I a different person than I was six months ago, being curious about how I'm changing, Curiosity about what's different about me? Does this
behavior align with me? Still? Does this not? Does this person align with me? Still? How am I showing up other people? And just curiosity of every single thing in my life and not always just always asking questions? And
my other one is play Oh so fun. Yeah. So I've mentioned in a different podcast that I've been through different stages with friends where I've had like isolated periods or lots of loan time time by myself, and life is so much more richer when you have genuine people in your life, you know, like our friendship, and this year, I really want it to be about like following my intuition and the devotion, but incorporating play into it, you know, because it's like I'm having so much fun and the
more fun that I have, the more things come into my life.
So true and a different frequency you.
Are, You're in a different frequency, and it's just the more that you increase in, the more fun you have. It's like the more your energy rises, the better you feel day to day, the more energy you have, and
the more fulfilled and field that you feel. Well, like specifically talking about myself, but that's something that I want to really push the levels on, you know, like I really want to see like how good it can actually get and continue to hold like that frequency of play and enjoyment and love and pleasure, life and pleasure and all of the beautiful things life has to offer, and going like why do I have to put a cap on these things? Do you know what I mean? Because
I've always done that. I've been in the past, I've always limited myself of how good things can get for me, you know, or if it does a little bit too much. Then I put myself down a bit, you know, I knock myself down a bit, and I'm like so done doing that, Like why doesn't it get to be beautiful and fun and playful and you get to enjoy so true the one life that you actually do have. So that's my three words for them.
I love that.
Let's talk about goal setting. How do you have a certain structure you do with it? Do you write everything down? Do you put it in canva? Do you have a system in place? How do you set your goals and intentions for and you y are?
I think for me, I found in the past when I write all these lists and do all these things in goal set, I sometimes can overdo it where I write all these different things and then I create overwhelmed for myself. It's like my goals have previously overwhelmed me because I've just done too many different things, and I'm like, what even are my goals anymore? So for me, what I like to do is I like to live by
the three words and just keep it simple. So asking myself questions and making decisions based on those three goals. Is the decision that I'm going to make right now? In this moment in alignment with those three goals, yes or no? Then I decide based on that. So, okay, if it's not in alignment with my devotion to myself, do I continue down this path? No? Okay, cool? Then
I take action. Then it pushes me in the direction of devotion, right or same thing with curiosity and play and so that has been really powerful for me to not create emotional overwhelm. Yeah, and I find that I always somehow end up getting to where I want.
To go anyway beautiful, Yeah, yeah, cool step and I did last year. I did my own goal setting session. He did his own, and then we came together as well and spoke about like our family goals and couple goals and everything. But I kind of break mine up and I love to write things down because it's almost like I do a vision board, and I write it down because if it's in front of me, it's all in the forefront of my mind and I can visually
see it. And then I've got my things I'm working towards, and then from what I've gotten written down, I then create action plans around each of those. I love what you said about the overwhelm because there is some things that I won't achieve, but at the end of the day, if I don't, there's no shame in myself for or punish myself. I might just pop on the next year's it's like, Okay, there wasn't enough space or time for that.
You obviously in prioriti That's cool, that's okay, not meant to be right now, but yeah, I break it up into like family, finances, freedom, health, and fun under each of those categories, or make a list of what that looks like to me, what it feels like to me, and then what actually need to put in place to make that happen. All of those are really important for me. They're like my pillars to live my best life, really
and it was really cool. A lot of the stuff so we put on ours this year we've overachieved, which is so cool. Yes, it's like setting that bar. And also when we set a goal, we do make it that little bit more edgy, and it's like even our finances goals, like it's probably more than what we think we can do, but set the bar high, manifest that, like, believe that you can do that. So that's how we break up our goals and then I love to do a vision board. I just find them so much fun.
And it's not even just putting a picture on there. It's like putting something realistic. So that helps me visualize and get in that feeling vibration of what that will feel like when that's mine. I really creative board through like a whole experience every time I look at it, like I can see myself doing that, Like that is me in that house, in that locational That is me traveling business class to that beautiful.
Spot, Like that's my dream card. Yeah.
Yeah, I definitely create this experience around it and find photos on Pinterest that represent that feeling for me, so it's not just a pretty photo. So that's kind of I break up the goals do a vision board, and that just gets me in this really good energy to like, this is what I'm wanting to achieve, now let's go for it.
I love that and it's so beautiful because it creates so much clarity, direction.
Forward, so much clarity.
Do you really need that? You need the clarity and direction to be able to go, Okay, what is it that I do want for this year? How am I going to get there? And creating that like really tangible action plan so that you don't go like I'm just winging it here, and it's cool. I think both perspectives are really cool as well, because it's like you kind
of need different things at different levels. If you're someone who's like constantly planning all the time and then you're never following through, it's like, is the planning beneficial for you in the way that you're doing it? Okay? Cool
if not? Pivot. And then if you're somebody who's in the stage where you're like ready to take action, you're clear, you know, you're like in the zone, then it's like, okay, create the action plan for you, get clear on exactly what it is you want take action towards those things. So it's like also discernment on like where you're at, what you're doing.
What you're working towards, what.
Different behaviors that you have when it comes to like you know, procrastination or not goals and things like that. But then on the other side of that, I loved what you said of like aiming higher than what you think that you can achieve, because the likelihood of you achieving more is going to be higher because you've set the goal. So high that you might actually surprise yourself what you'll be able to achieve.
And when you set them too.
When I found with me when I went to set some of the goals, I was like, oh, And when I had that doubt, I was like, Okay, what limited beliefs here? Who's told you that you can't do that? Where have you limited to yourself? Where do you have evidence that you can't do that? And then it's like I got to go and journal from that. Yeah, So I remember taking it. I said to Steve one afternoon, like you might if I just go out for a
couple of hours. I took my journal and went down to the park for like over three hours, and I journaled all the limiting beliefs that came up for me at that time when I was doing my goals, like I don't think I can achieve this because XYZ, And then I had to reframe that sentence I can do this regardless of outside da da da, and I would reframe each of them and I was like, cool, that gets me my new story. That's my new language. I'm not going to use that language anymore because that will
become my truth. Your body feels what you're thinking and becomes your reality. So be so mindful of the language that you're using, so aim high and if you get that little equila resistance, okay, let's explore that. Let's take a moment, and why do you think like that?
How cool is that? As well? It's like this self inquiry work. It's like you're already overcoming your own challenges before they even like manifest in relax exactly, like before you get to let's say that level of money and then your nervous system starts to freak out and you're like, I can't hold this, I can't do this. This is you know or imposter syo or whatever kicks in. It's like you've already cross that bridge. Yeah, before you get there.
I'm choosing to do this self inquiry work obliterate these like limiting beliefs that we like set on ourselves so that when it does come you're like, no, this makes so much sense. This makes sense that I'm here.
Yeah, Yeah, it's cool to do it if you're in a relationship as well, because we did our goal separately and then brought it together. So I've got to see what things he wanted to achieve, and maybe there was a destination that he wanted to go to and that I didn't like. A few years ago, he wanted.
To go to Egypt.
I was like, oh, it's just not a place I've ever wanted to go. And he went on a solo trip. And there's just different discussions around what he's desiring, why he wants it, how it fits in with each other because we're two separate people. Yes we're together, but we're still our own individual peoples with different desires and wants
and needs. And it's cool to be able to have those discussions of like, oh, cool, this is really important to you, Like for me going on a girl ship every year, I would love to take that as every single year for the rest of my life.
For him, not really that important.
He'd rather go with family or just go on a solo chip or go on a golf trip for the weekend. But for me, like, I love my girl, I love being playful and silly and going with friends that share the love of food that I do and like fitness or whatever. You know, we're off to Balley in April.
Can't wait and come.
So it's really cool to have those conversations with your partner as well, so we just want to talk about that to kind of simplify. Maybe you'll will resonate with how Tiana does things or how I do things, but I like to simplify it. But I'm also like quite masculine, Like I want structure. I want to see it nice and clear, and then be able to create action plan around that and tackle any limiting beliefs that come in the process.
Yeah. Absolutely, And you know it's cool about that as well as like on different years I have done different things. Yeah, where I'm at, so like that's cool. Said, last year, I did the three words and then I just stuck to that, and in the year before that, I did a visual vision board that's the photos, you know, and then this year I feel aligned to do goals and
a vision board, like we've spoken about doing this. So it's like just discerning where you're at, what it is that you're needing in the moment because everyone is so different, so different, Like figuring out what's working and what's going to work for you. Yeah, one size fits all for everybody else, just not like that is a no. You just got to like figure out what feels good for you and then you take the parts that resonate and leave what doesn't.
Yeah, and one thing we wanted to kind of end on is I think around the New year, especially around health and fitness, but it could be your finance goals, your relationship goals, whatever.
Is in the new year. Feels so motivated, so much motivation.
It's like flowing with motivation, so motivated to achieve this and do this, and it's like whoa. And then February hits and you're like, where's that motivation gone. I've said in a million times and I will say it again, and I will say every year, every time we do this New Year's episode. You cannot rely on motivation. It ebbs and flows, it dips. It's just not something you can really rely on. I think discipline is such a
strong form of self respect and self love. It's really showing up for yourself and showing up for what you value and what's important, because you have to show up even when it's hard, even when you don't want to, even all the excuses or things are happening outside and it's noisy, you're still showing up to the commitment of yourself. I know that could also sound quite masculine, because a feminine's very soft and flowy, and listen to your body
and your intuition. I fully believe both can kind of blend and dance together. But sometimes when I've been too flowy, I'm like, I actually just don't want to do it because I'm feeling lazy. When I'm being really honest with myself, and if I'm making an excuse not to do something and I'm procrastinating, like, oh, just being my feminine flow, I'm like, no, you're actually just being lazy, and I have to beat myself up on that. I'm like, get up and do the thing. You're not always going to
want to feel like this. You've set a goal and you know where you want to be, and you have to take the steps to get there. You're not going to get there unless you create that change and nothing changes. If nothing changes, you think about yourself from now in six months time, if you don't change what you're doing, I promise you'll be sitting here in the exact same position that you were six months ago, looking back on your life and going.
Damn, I wish I stuck to that habit.
Why did I give up with myself so easy just because I didn't feel motivated one day. No, you're better than that. You were above that, and you will do the hard things even if you don't feel like doing it.
Yeah, yeah, oh I love that. And you know what's interesting, it's like it really only counts when you don't want to.
Oh isn't that true?
Oh?
My god? Like the hard hitting truth, Like I'm.
Sorry, ladies, but you can do anything when you have high energy, when you're well fed, when you've had eight hours of sleep, you can do anything.
You're emotionally regulated and everyone's happy.
You're exactly and like everything is going smoothly. Anyone can show up a one hundred percent. So how many of you, including myself, show up when things are really hard, when you've just gone through a breakup, when you just get told that you have to go for surgery, brain surgery, when you don't want to go to the gym, and you committed to creating your dream body, whatever it is, the goal that you're going after, if you can commit to the mindset and say to yourself, it only counts
when I do it when it's hard. It only counts when I do it when I don't want to. It only counts when the odds are not in my favor. That's when it's going to mean the most. And if you can count those days instead of the good days, I promise you will see progress.
One hundred percent. Isn't that so true?
And the more consistent you do that, it's like going to some gym and building a muscle, Like you're building that muscle, that confidence. You're giving yourself evidence that you can push through even when you don't want to.
So much evidence.
Yeah, otherwise you're going to have a story that I'm always lazy. I always just give up when it gets hard like that. It's just who I am, Like I can't do it. I've never been able to do it. We don't use that.
Language here, No, not at all, because what you tell yourself is so important, and you know, like what you're saying, like even going to the gym building your dream body is like it's the surface level thing and that's amazing, right, But the discipline and the self trust and the confidence and the deep rooted like conviction you have in yourself of like I know I can do hard things. Yeah, I know I can show up for myself when nobody else can do it for me. And I'm the only
one that I can rely on. That's where true confidence is built from. So true, it's from that. It's not from the pretty dress, so are the earrings. And then while we love those things, it only lives for so long. If you want something that's more of like a longer burn, where your confidence is going to last for the long haul, it's in those things.
Yes, I love that too. Like you can do hard things. Who said you can't do hard things? Even if mum, dad, or someone at school or a coworker told you can't do it, Like, they're just words that don't hold anyway. You can do hard things.
Even when you say it to yourself. They're just words. It's so true because how many times do we immediately stop ourselves from trying something? Oh but I can't do that, but I'm not capable all but I don't know how. We are the ones to limit ourselves more than anybody else. Oh yes, stories, but they're just words. What if it could be? Like I don't know how, but I'm willing to try. Yeah, I feel fear. I will do it anyway.
Yes, I'll try. It doesn't work out, that's also okay, But at least I can look back and go I gave it a.
Go absolutely, or I'll learn something from it.
Yeah, maybe the experience will be fun.
Even if you do something and your quotations fail. Yes, either way exactly.
I say.
I've said this to myself for years on end and has never strayed me wrong because I say to myself, even if I try and I quotations fail, or if I win, I win and I learned something, or if I fail, I win because I learned something that's so true. So it's like perspective on everything. You can always choose what you take from something, and if you get to determine, like how good it's going to feel or how.
Shit it's going to feel, so true. We hope you guys love this episode. Hope it does motivate you and inspire you to really step in and create your plan and get your vision and get really clear on what you want twenty twenty five to be, which you don't want to be sitting here this time next year, being like I could have tried harder, I should have given that a go. Oh my god, that held me back
another year. I'm another year older, Like no, no, no, rise above it, Step into your power, have calmed so you can get it done and know that you can do hard things.
You don't need to worry about who you've previously been, nothing from today, before, in the past. Nothing matters. Anything that you've previously done. Who you were yes today, who you were a week ago, who you were in twenty
twenty four, None of it fucking matters. If you can just focus on today, in the next twenty four hours, and who you want to be in the next twenty four hours, focus on that and do that every single day, and you will progress so much further than what you probably did in the whole of twenty twenty four.
So true, you know, all you need.
To do is focus on who you're going to show up is today.
Absolutely.
The whole reason why most people don't achieve their goals is because they think of problems in three years from now. They're preempting problem. What am I going to do when this happens? When I achieve this? What about you know, like, what am I going to do when once I get to this level? All these people are going to say these things about me. You're preempting problems that haven't even
happened yet. Yeah, you need to focus on what's happening right now and the step in front of you that matters right now, that's it, That's the only thing that matters. Love that and having fun along the way.
Yeah, lots of fun. Thank you so much for listening, guys. I really appreciate I hope you enjoyed this. Don't forget to join in our Facebook forum and we can continue on the conversation. I'd actually love to hear from all of you. You guys have listened to us gas Bag for half.
An hour on this.
What are your goals? What are your intentions? What are you having to achieve?
Is there something you've never done before that you're trying this year? Are you quitting your job, starting in your career, are you ending a relationship that's not aligned? Are you going sky to having I don't know. Let me know what you Let me know what you're up to this year. Come into the forum, let us know. We would love to see and you can see what everyone else is up to as well and help keep each other accountable, which is really cool.
Otherwise, we'll see you in the next episode on Friday.
For Freaky Friday.
It's a gcy one. I can await. I'm excited, Oh my gosh, we'll see that.