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Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together.
Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the lessons to Grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander. Welcome to the show. Guys. I cannot wait for this episode. I need to hear every detail because I need to put my husband in. Tell us what today's we.
Are talking about, Kurtie finally booking in. Gon't get it. I've had such mixed reviews. I've had women who have a messaged me and be like, this is the best decision we ever made, and then other people messaging I think because about age, maybe being like you seem really young to be like doing something like this. How old's Curdy for reference thirty one, Curty thirty one. I'm thirty almost thirty one. Yeah, but I mean we have three kids. Yes,
we have very beautiful, beautiful kids. Were so happy, both genders. Yes. And how it kind of like came about was well, actually a year ago. So twelve months ago, Curtie went to the doctors and got a referral to go and get a vasectomy because we knew that we wanted to do it. He went and got it, but we weren't like, oh, we'll get it straight away. We just kind of like had it sitting there and we kept like pushing it off,
pushing it off. And as time went on, more and more it's like we got more and more sure that it was the decision that we wanted to make. And then I was at a girlfriend's house and all of us girls were sitting around chatting and they were like talking about different scares and things that happened, and then they looked at me and they're like, what would you do if you happened to fell pregnant? And I was like, wow, I feel like personally myself in the situation I'm in,
I believe like everything happens for a reason. I'm like, if something like that happened, I would kind of just go it's meant to be. But do I want to be in that situation?
No, I don't.
I am not a good pregnant woman.
I'm not a good pregnant woman.
I feel so content with three kids. In fact, sometimes in moments, I've been really honest with Ashi about this, but with having three that at this age, sometimes if one is needing you and then another one is needing you, it can be really tough to be there to support like two kids at once. In fact, I feel like they feed off the energy and sometimes all three are like that. And then Kurt and I like trying it. I'm like pulling him away from work and you know,
trying to juggle them. And I feel like we have got such a beautiful balance and I'm really proud of the way that we parent. And I feel like if he threw one more into the mix, I feel like I couldn't give as much of me for two to go three.
I'm like, I don't feel like I could do three. Well.
There are moments that are tough. There definitely are sit out numbered. You are outnumbered.
It's like, okay, you go with a taj, I've got Tala or vice versa, and you can give them all your attention, but like three but so I know what you mean. I feel like it's yeah.
Yeah, definitely. And I feel like even especially these first years before they've started school, like trying to be around a lot, and even you know, both of us with business and that we've made a lot of sacrifice wanting to be with our kids, and that's our choice and
we're so grateful that we've had that choice. But we've only got another year and a couple months and then Reagan's in school two yeah, and we're like out of that zone and we can go more ham in our career if we want to, or I could go like, okay, I really want you this course. I can actually have the time and space to be able to, you know,
expand or do something a bit different. So for us, we kind of just sat down and spoke about it, and Kurt was like, I definitely don't have the capacity to have another baby, and I was like, neither do I Even just the pregnancy alone freaks me out. So he was like, I'm just gonna call up. I'll see what they have to say. He phoned up and they were like, we literally just had a cancelation. We've got one next Wednesday to be so it was like six dam I know, you had like no time to really
think about it a good thing. It was really good. So it was like six days later. Yeah, I didn't really know what to expect because not many of our friends have actually had a vasectomy. But Curtie was like, he put his hand up, he was like, I'll get it done. He's like, you had a C section, you have one of your tubes come out, you've been pregnanty charm. He's like, I'll do this one for you, baby, thank
you for us, Yeah, for us. Yeah, I didn't really know what to expect, so I put it out of my stories and I was like, what am I in for guys? Like is this going to be like a two week thing? Is this going to be like a few day things Like, I have no idea, And I really got a mixed.
Bag to say, it would have been a mixed bag.
Yeah, And I think what I've really come to realize is it probably is really dependent on the person who actually does a job. Because I had some women being like it was so bruised it was black and like Kurd had no bruising, not any bruising at all. But anyway, he was pretty calm and cool and collected up until the day of and then he was like, Babe, I'm really nervous. I think it was just a fact of having to like get your package out in front of Yeah, like it's a lot to think about.
It's something you do every day.
No, So anyways, we drove in there and he went in and he thought it was only going to be quite a quick thing and end up actually taking a bit longer than what we thought. But he went and he laid in on the table and there's like a nurse in there, and they're like, get away your clothes off, and he had to be like little sheets, like this tiny little sheet just like covering his privates. And then
the guy came in. He was like, I'm gonna put a thing in your arm and it's going to make you feel really drunk and you'll just like go to sleep like most people just get knocked out and fall asleep.
Get put to sleep.
Yeah, but it's not anesthetic. It's like a happy gas type thing, I'm guessing, but you have enough of a dose to like make you go to sleep, like you go in and out of sleep. You're just not with it. I think you can go under and get anesthetic though as well.
Okay, but he.
Had given him the stuff for it, and the guy starts doing everything, and Kurt must have fallen asleep at the start, I'm guessing. And then he's woken up halfway through and he's looked down and he's like, ah, he goes that fucking hats and the guy was burning because what they do is they open it. There's like these tubes, there's a three step process or something. He's like burning the thing and the guy looks at Kurt and he's like,
you're not supposed to be awake. No, So then he had to grab this big needle and jamminykurts, don't let your husbands listen to this part Germany, Curt's nuts to numb it. They don't put the numbing stuff on you're asleep.
No.
But then Kurt said he was just chatting to him the whole time he was doing it.
Is that not a common?
Not common? He said normally that. He said, you just must have a really high tolerance to that sort of stuff.
Yes.
So then Kurt's like, there's this guy, this older guy, just playing with my nuts and I'm having chatted to him for half an hour while he's doing everything.
It's fully nam you can't feel a thing, no, fully numb.
Like once he's stat at the needle, apparently he's a little bit painful. And yeah, he came out to me. He seemed like he was so drunk. He's like walking to and he's like, yeah, I told my wife, will come get it for like chatting to the nurse about all these things. I'm just so hungry, like just chatting about all different funny things. The recovery. Honestly, I had so were asking what it was like, and it was it was amazing.
Out of ten? What is it? Five out of ten? Seven out of ten?
Oh, I reckon, it's like a two. He did rest that afternoon when we got home. I say that he like sat on the chair. He wasn't even laying down. And then he still like would waddle up to go get stuff bottle, go to the toilet and get food and that. And then the next day he had a slower day where he just kind of hung out, but he came for a drive in the car. After that he was perfect. He was up doing everything. He was back at the gym, I think it was like five days. Wow,
he didn't last five days? You know how you're not going to have sex for five days? Oh yeah, yeah no, And it was fine.
Yeah.
But then again, like I said, he didn't have any bruising or anything, and he's healed amazing, Like, yeah, there was no point that I looked at it and was like, oh, it was just like tiny little slice and now like there's like.
Nothing incision was it? Yeah, yeah, okay.
Tiny little incision. So I don't know if there's different ways of getting it done, but yeah, no, his was very straightforward. And it just feels so nice now that we're nearly at the place where we just don't have to worry about it. So what he has to do now is he has to wait three months and go and get a test done, so has to have like
sperm in the car. The good thing as well these days is if your partner's a bit worried about that, is they actually you have an hour to get it there, so you can do it at home and drive it in. You don't have to do it actually in the waiting room.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Yeah, which is good because that was something Kurt was like a bit like ooh about and then if they still have live sperm in that, you don't have to get it redone or anything. You just got to wait longer. So you wait another month or two, it will eventually stop.
Two weeks. It's actually a long.
No, yes, three months yeah minimum to go back and start getting the test.
Done happening inside.
So what happens is it kills all the sperm that's been created, but they're still all that live sperm there, so you need to have all of it come out. I see there's only dead ones, so they're still live ones in there. Yeah, and then they would even mix with the dead ones. So it's like making sure that they all come out every single three months. Okay, yeah, yeah, I know, but really straightforward. Good on KURTI, well done, well done the team.
Definitely, yeah, ste he's been very resistant. He's worried if you've done any research on like your chakras, Like he's very worried it's kind of like disrupt his charkras. But I was also like, is that true through you're just scared. Yeah, But he just said to me because when Curtie was having it, I was like, look, Kat's doing so great bla.
He was like, Babe, with your surgery, with Black Friday coming up, you go to Europe, Like, I just don't have the space this year, but let's like revisit next year. So January first, I'll be bringing it up. I would just love to not have to worry because I feel the same as you. If I was to fall pregnant, like I believe it would be a little boy. I know what the name would be. It would be meant to be, and I'd be like, Okay, this is meant to happen. But I'm so content with two.
Yeah.
I love our kids, I love dynamic. Steve's not getting any younger like he is older. I just don't see us having another one. So I'd rather just be able to not track what I'm populating and like not worry about it because each month I do have that moment of like, and if my periods like a day or two late, I do kind of panic a little bit. Yeah, because I've made that decision that I just want the two that we've got. Yeah, so I'm the same as you.
I just don't want to I don't know, I don't want any negative feelings if I was to fall pregnant.
And even when you're using protection, it doesn't work all the time. Like you don't eat condoms, they only work eighty percent of the time.
We don't use condoms, we pull out method but even that, it's like it's like my nineties percentage is going to work. H but pre come, you can fall pregnant.
It's so there's always that little rest, there's always that little niggle. And something I will say though, is on the day that I knew Kurt was getting it done, it does bring up those feelings of being like this is actually yes. So I did have that little bit of an emotional like I was so fine. I didn't cry or anything, but I was just kind of like, oh,
like those were the best days of our life. Yeah, and I'm so glad we got them as amazing, but it's kind of like going like it's not going to happen again.
Closing, Yeah, a whole new phase. Yeah.
So there's not one part of me that was like I don't want to do this and I don't feel like this isn't the right choice. But it was just like I think, no matter what, it's always just feels like, oh that's it, Like.
Yeah, and I still have micro moments where I'm like, I can't We're going to get to experience this again, like with Tiler being such a cute age, yes, and she's like starting to string your words together and she sprints when you walk in the door to you and just like so cute and always say this if like it's really sad, this is last time. So I had those moments too, But.
Then you have a hard day and like not fuck that even the stuff going on, like actually knows the depth of what I've kind of been going through at the moment. But we've been going to doctor between two of our kids, doctor's appointments, pediatrician appoinments. Then you've got the after school activities and you know, it's a whole lot. And I'm like, I just don't think I would be proud of the mother that I was if I had
any more kids. And I want to give everything I can to my kids, you know, so lucky to have.
Them, so lucky. Yeah, I feel very content as well.
Oh go Curti, it's done, Go Curti or done all that's really cool.
I'm glad to let you share that story. And hotually inspires some other men to go and get it because we were talking about I haven't told you too, You know how you were going through a phase where you were thinking about getting a hysterectomy or like something burnt.
Yes, your periods.
My mom's had an hysterect me. Yeah, and so has the Dean's mum. And my mum speaks so highly, but she's like, it is the best thing I ever did for myself. She used to get like you. She couldn't even walk out of the toilet, like with a power ten, and it would be like flooding, like it's very graphic. But most of our listeners are females, like heavy periods, really bad mood swings, so tired, super bad headaches, like
every symptom you can think of. And she got a hys direct to me and all in a way, you never had any symptoms again. She felt so much happier, so much more regulated, like she was it was the best thing I ever did for myself. So I have kind of had in my head I don't really want to have periods for the rest of my life. I might not even that bad, but it's annoying.
Do you go through early menopause right when you get the hysterectomy.
I don't know.
I think you do so. I think once she decided to get that, you would have a period of however long to navigate that. But if you had the space for it and you knew it was coming.
I don't think my mom had that really. I even asked her about menopause and she's like, well, I've never had any of those symptoms. Anyways, I went to Levi because I was like, I'm gonna say to you, what are the cons It's got to be something.
Yeah.
I looked at him and I was like, oh, I was talking to my girlfriend about his directed me my mum's had one. And the look on his face, Wow said it all. He was like, please promise me you will never get one of those. Like there is so many I'm going to butcher the way he said it. But with a woman's body, there's just so many hormones and like receptors and like messages and like the way
it all flows together. He's like, you're completely going against everything natural that your body is supposed to be doing. You were ripping that out of your body and it cannot function.
Well, apparently it can like lower your sex drive and stuff.
Like that maybe probably yeah, But he was like he hasn't got the snip either yet, but he was like, this is something that men should be doing if like you don't want to have any more children. He's like, do not touch it. That's not meant to be removed. So I was like, oh, yeah, I had it in my head that I will get it done because my mum just felt so good from it.
It's always pros and cons to everything, Yeah, And I always think, like, you know, it's even what I say all the time is like with my period, Yeah, like there's obviously other things going on there, and even like a lot of the things I've been doing lately, I've been learning about my womb healing. I feel like it's all coming from probably that.
Yeah, that's a short in that. It actually came up in conversation because we were talking about your periods. You told him a little bit about what was going on with your family and all of your stress, and he was like, of course she had those bad periods. She's just gone through something so traumatic in her life with her family that was dragged on for so long. Her body was in complete fight or flight. She was stressed.
Twenty four seven. Those symptoms are responding to that stress. Yeah, and now she's regulating and she's doing things that help her body recover better. Of course the periods have gotten better. Yeah, And I was like, oh my god, of course, yeah, it makes so much Yeah, it makes so much sense. You've got so much in place. But you also like your body feels safe now because back then, like you were so so bad anxious, upset, like just going through it.
You know, I really intrigued to try my first one without medication. So when your last month, we'll hear, and then I was gonna do it this month, but I'll wait and see when we get back, because if it hasn't come by the time I go home, I'm just gonna let it do it. Seeing I want to see what happens, because want to see where it's at.
Because you've still been knowing your saunas and you.
Yeah, yeah, because mine was so severe that I was literally like passing out. So as long as I'm not like that, yeah, I don't care about like if I if I know I have to have like one day at home and I'm real bad or whatever, I can try to work around that. If it's one day yeah, but it might be be That's what I mean. I've just got to see where it's at now.
And each month might be so different too. Like I feel like if I've had months we'reing way busier at work or more stressed about something, yeah, I have more elevated symptoms. But then if I've got a cruisy month, like it's just like I don't even notice, I'm like start bleeding. I'm like, oh shit, my period.
Yeah, And Kurt says it to me too, He said to me, Actually, he goes, I think you might have a bit of a not great one this month because of the stress of the kids. You're just so emotionally plunge in that when your kids aren't happy, all this thing's going on, you just.
It's for me stress. Yeah, emotional stress is like one of the worst, so hard.
It'll be interesting, but I'll let you guys know how it goes the first time.
But it's all and around. You've done so well to take it from where it was to where it is now. And that's a credit to the work that you've done emotionally, mentally and physically daily consciously making choices that serve you. You know, Yeah, because you could have just gone I got to his direct me or got it burned or whatever. And I'm not saying not like some people. If that's what you've got to do, that's what you've gotta do.
I encourage invite everyone to try a holistic way first. Definitely, it's much more kinder on your body. Yeah, and you did that, and if you've got an awesome outcome so far.
Yeah, I'm interested as well. I told Ashley, I've just done some genetic testing and even just I'm so intrigued to see because there's anaturopath that's looking at it with me as well. Yeah, like what she has to say, and like see if there's things I can help with that le as well. So good, Yeah, awesome.
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