Apologiate, production, tackle chat and unpack triggers, which is a really cool thing to talk about because I think it's something that we all have, We all go through at some point in our life. We actually have a whole chapter in our healing journals. So emotional triggers can be incredibly powerful and can stir up intense feelings, especially for those who have experienced trauma. But also don't forget that triggers don't also have to come from extremely traumatic situations.
Now you can have little hairline triggers or you can have really big triggers. These triggers can be associated with past events or experiences that have caused pain, fear, or sadness. When you're triggered, a person may feel overwhelmed and unable to cope, and it can be difficult to regain a sense of calm and control. However, it's important to remember
that it's possible to manage and overcome these triggers. It takes time, patience, and support, but with the right techniques and resources, individuals can learn to recognize and manage their emotional triggers in a healthy, positive way. Ain't that the truth. This may involve seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness or engaging in self care activities that will bring relaxation and calm into your life. Learning to manage emotional triggers is a powerful
act of self love. Ain't that the truth? It's about learning to feel all of your emotions and finding ways to navigate through the challenges and obstacles that life may bring. The time and patience, it's possible to find emotional peace and healing even in the face of past trauma or difficult experiences.
And then I love our quote over written so good, be grateful for triggers. They point you to where you are not free by Jeff Foster.
So good. And I always say to like, any kind of trigger that you feel or experience, it really is life literally like putting a spotlight on what needs healing. Yeah, So, if you're triggered about something, it's because there's something there that you haven't cleared with that stored energy and old experience just an upset. It's showing you what you need to work on.
Let's go really simplified. If somebody has never heard of a trigger before, how do you know that you have just like felt triggered, Like what happens to your body? What happens.
It can be so different for everyone, but it could be like literally your body responds, you get sweaty, you feel sick, you get nervous. Heart rate picks are heart rate picks art you feel like uneasy in your tongue and you're nauseous. Yeah, And then also like your mind,
it's all you can think about. You feel like upset, on edge, anxious, so many of those lower vibrational feelings, and also like a sense of not being in control of how you're feeling because it takes over because it's such a real feeling.
Yeah, in the moment triggers For me, Like what I will really notice is like, yeah, heart rate picking up, sweating and shakes, like when you feel like you know, like say, if somebody's like really something to upset you and you're like yes, like you just all I want to do is like just breathe.
Yeah, I feel it in my heart and my gut. Yeah, Like I feel a bit, you know when you go down a roller coaster and your tommy kind of drops yeh, Like I kind of feel just like a bit uneasy. Yeah. And it can be something so small or it can be something.
So yeah, And depending on where you're at on that day, at that point in time. It might feel really small one day, and then the next day that same small thing might feel really big.
Yes, definitely, And everyone's gonna have their own set of triggers. Something that triggers me might not trigger you at all. Uh huh. Like we'll talk about our biggest triggers. So, my biggest trigger is our cohol. I grew with a very alcoholic stepfather who was abusive and horrible. My mum was quite a big drinker. My older brother has been
a big drinker. All my friends in high school twould big drink because I've just been in a lot of situations where our cohol really has not been a positive experience. So and then when I met Steve Hugge's a big party animal, would love to drink, and I did love to have a couple of drinks and go out, and I went through that phase, but it got to the point where I moved away from that that I just found being around our cohol quite triggering because it was a lot to do with my past, and it almost
made me feel unsafe. With people that are drinking excessively, they're unpredictable. Yeah, you don't know how they're going to show up, what they're going to do, And that's been a big trigger for me to work through. And even now, like Steve's not a big drinker at all, but now if he has a couple of drinks, I feel the trigger. But I've gotten so good at managing it and also knowing that I'm safe and that nothing's going to happen. But say with my stepdad, it was like a trigger
and like, holy fuck, what's gonna happen. So sometimes triggers they might not ever go away, but you get really good at managing them. I've got the tools to be able to regulate myself and tell myself that I'm calm and everything's okay. And also Steve's really supportive on that trigger now, so if he's gonna go have drinks with the boys or do something, he'll communicate waying far in advance,
So I'm like, mentally can prepare. Another trigger for me is yeah, anything that people say about my children it's just horrible or never feels nice, it feels uneasy. That protective mama bear in me wants to come out and just like protect them from the nastiness of the world. So they're probably my two main triggers.
Yeah, mine not actually very similar to Ashley is, but kind of different reasons why.
I guess.
So, whenever Kurt is drunk, I get very triggered because when we were younger and we were together, every time Kurt got drunk, he got very angry, got in trouble. It was just so many bad experiences. So a lot of people might not know this about Kurt, but some of you may. Yeah, he went through a phase where he was definitely not in a great place. He was getting locked up. I had to go pick him up from being like locked up for like drinking in public
or you know, doing things and getting in fights. He went through a really bad phase before we had kids and before he started boxing, and he's really changed his way around. I'm so proud of him. He hasn't done anything like that for many years. But because for those solid three or four years I felt so uncertain when he was drinking, I've held onto that. So I'm fine if he has you know, two, three, four or five.
But when I can see him like mixing alcohol or like getting drunk, yeah, I definitely can feel the trigger coming arm. Yeah, And again it grows back to safety because I felt like in those moments, I didn't feel safe in my environment. And he was just like Kurtawi says, like we talk about this and he's like it was just the shittest time, and he's like he feels so much like regret for certain things that he has done.
But then it was just like the way things had to happen, I guess for him to be shaped to the human that he is, and like, you know, we can totally see it now for what it was. But yeah, there were definitely some times in my life where, yeah, it was a lot of violence around drinking and stuff like that.
And when people do get past that three four five drinks, they're not the same person. They are definitely not They are uncertain, they are unpredictable, like I don't know. Yeah.
And then my other one as well, but I had written down was literally my kids. I feel like online people can say what they want about me and sometimes yeah, will scratch me and I'm like that's a little bit annoying whatever like, but then I can, you know, think it through. But when people are targeting your kids, people that are so innocent and there's just like absolutely no
need for it. It's so nasty. Yeah, that's horrible. And then as well, when trolls have said bad things about like my miscarriages, I think when I've just been at points in my life where I've been really low and working through something and then somebody is pinpointing that and having a go at me, or even if I'm struggling, say in motherhood, and I'm opening up about it and somebody's like, ya doing this wrong, I'm like, well, I'm actually doing the best that I can and I'm doing
what feels right for me. So certain things like that I can find triggering.
And it is triggering true if you're in the thick of it, yes, because another one just came out for me, which you know, like I had a friendship that we're not friends anymore, and I'm going through the thick and grieving of like this friendship that once was and it's
not the same anymore. And the when people ask you questions and stick their nose in or make assumptions up or make their own narrative, like, I find it so triggering, and I literally like would put up a Q and A and I'll be like, don't ask questions about other people because it's triggering. We were like, oh, what happened this person? I heard this about? This is this true?
And I'm like, I'm going through this right now, Like it's already hard enough, so for you to bring things up and throw your projected, made up stories into the mix and like try and create drama, it's triggering. Yeah, let me work through it and get to the other side.
That is so true. And even how we're speaking all the way up in the car about your intrusive thoughts episode that you shard and how you're still working through it, but different projections that will put on you. Yeah, of course that is a little bit triggering. She's like, well, no, that's not actually my story. Yeah, I'm working mine out as I go.
Yeah.
Just because this has been your case doesn't mean that it's the same for me.
Yeah. Yeah, that's so interesting. Hey, in our journal, we have a ten step process on how to manage triggers. So if you've got the journal, you'd be reading this. It's on page fifty nine. It is so good and we really wanted to put this in here because it's one thing to talk about triggers, even to write some stuff down. But it was like when I started learning about this, I'm like, cool, I understand what a trigger is. What the fuck do I do with this now? When
I feel like this? I used to just like call my girlfriends or to anyone who was about like, go to Steve, go to my mum, whatever. But I would constantly be left in a dysregulated state for a couple of days or a couple of weeks, and then it would overrule everything. And I didn't have a system in place. I didn't have a process that I could turn to. So when we sat down together, we were like, Okay, what really helps us? And we have both had very similar things that we did, like, let's put this into
a process. When someone's triggered, they can go into this journal and be like, Okay, this is what I'm going to do.
This is go to manage it.
Yes, step by step process. If you've got the journal, page fifty nine incredible, get you out of that final flight and get you pack into your It helps you get out of it and moves through it in a really beautiful way for yourself. So page fifty nine one of our best pages. I reckon Yeah, I think so too.
I saw this Instagram Reeal and I shared with ashystem of the story, so I was like, gosh, this is good. It's from the Holistic Tree tribe, and it basically wrote out different triggers and the different things you need to heal from, and I just thought it was such a good starting point to kind of understand from that perspective of what a trigger can be from, because it's not always necessarily what you think it could be, or sometimes you might have to sit down to fully unpack, like
where is this coming from. Yes, so the first one is like the trigger of being told what to do. The thing you need to heal from is being controlled. Say, if your trigger is conflict, the thing that you will need to heal from potentially is emotional instability or reactive surroundings. If your trigger is compliments you you probably need to heal from being overly criticized. If your trigger is being vulnerable, you may need to heal from being shamed or ridiculed.
If your trigger is rejection, you may need to heal from fear of not being enough. If your trigger is change, you may need to heal from fear of the unknown. And if your trigger is being alone, you may need to heal from fear of isolation, and I thought it was just such a beautiful starting point when I saw that, and I was like, it's really nice to see not just about triggers, but the opposite side and what you
may need to be healing from. Definitely, and triggers will be like all those ones I wrote out, and what you may need to heal from is only like what you may need to It could be a comple it could be like ten different reasons that from that that it could be