Appolgie Production, very special guest here, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world. Got makes you here? I love there's a particular topic that I feel you're very passionate about and you help so many women through and that's connecting with that inner child. This work. It doesn't ever stop right because more things come up and
you're like, oh, let's unpack that. Oh that might have happened because when this happened when I was younger, And it never gets to a point where you're like, oh, I've done that, I'm all good now.
Absolutely. I always say that if you're dealing with something from your past, I don't feel that it's ever just wrapped up into a box. You put a bowl in it, put it away in a shelf, yay, Like it is a part of you and it gets to be something that you learn how to live with, maybe more ease and grace, or maybe it doesn't affect you as big as it used to. You know you kind of it can ease off. But we have memories. Our body has memories.
It stored somatic. There are some modalities that do say they can rearrange the way that you remember things, and so Therefore how you react to those things now might not affect you. But yeah, I think that some of these things are always going to be there, even if a little bit.
Something that you said to me, which I've done two in a Child healings with you now and they were amazing. I've spoken about in the podcast before, but something that you said in one of them really stuck with me because I kind of had separated like my younger self as like my past self, like almost like she's gone, but you were like, she's always a part of you.
So now when I try to connect with my inner child, it's like she's right next to me or she's within me, but I visualize her right there and she's never going anywhere. And my job now is to always make sure that I'm there for her and giving her what she needs. And that's been really helpful because it's just in a way, it's just another way to support myself because she's a part of me. She's not separate to me. But I have thought that it's separate because that part of my
life's done, but it's never really done. Yeah, that was a cool realization for me. It's helped me continue to be able to from those healings, not disconnect with her. I stayed connect with her because that first one it was in your lounge room, second was in your bedroom.
In the first one, I was telling you, it was like so quickly I could drop in and see her, and I cried so much because I was like, I felt like this real human that I got to cuddle and like actually fully see her pain and see her tears. And it was so easy to connect with her because I'm like, it's this, yeah, like a daughter or like a friend, like you want to be there for them. It was just such a beautiful experience that I wish everyone could tap into that, but I do find it
it was harder to do by myself. Like, it is nice to have a woman's coach like yourself who can guide you through that. So could you talk us through a little bit about your healings and how you learn how to do that and just how powerful that work is.
Yeah, that's so cool that you had that experience and that can just now shifted things for you moving forward, because You're so right, it's absolutely this little girl she experienced whatever she experienced back then, or even your younger self, whatever age it was, they had this experience, and we grow up and we think, oh, that shouldn't bother me now, Like I was so little there it was all of this time ago. We kind of have these coping mechanisms
within ourselves which our body tries to protect us. Right, it's doing its job. But that little gushi is you, this body that was her. So those thoughts, those feelings, any traumas, any joys, and good memories too, like they reside in your body, in your mind and your self
conscious they're there. So to just discount her and what she experienced is yeah, a big part of the disconnection that ws her and feel And a lot of people think with different healing modalities, and let's say in a child healing, they might think, oh, I'm so scared to go back there and feel that again or unpack it, or like that hurt me so much, Like I don't
want to go back there. But when you're healing these parts of you and you're allowing the emotion to move through you and you're being held in that and you are actually processing what happened afterwards, most people feel really light and they actually feel like wow, like they might have a really good sleep that night or have lots
of downloads or you know, things are shifting. But generally it's not as heavy as people think it might be, and it's not as energetically draining often as people think it might be.
Because you're clearing it, you're clearing stuff that is blocked, or you've been carrying the weight of it for thirty odd years, you actually get to move through some of that.
The pain that people feel of like that's going to be too much or painful or overwhelming is the pain that they're feeling from suppressing and from carrying the way and like trying to stifle the heavy feelings and emotions. So they're like, oh no, that's painful, I'm going to shut off to that again instead of learning how to
let it flow. I personally think a lot of these things that you talk about, like confidence and feelings of anxiousness, a lot of these things started somewhere and they've rooted some where, So obviously going back and trying to find and work on the source of where they originated from it is so powerful in your healing journey. Instead of doing these affirmations or reading these books or trying to take steps forward, instead of clearing and shifting the past.
It just propels you forward a lot more. Not to say that doing affirmations and these other things are bad or you shouldn't do them, it's just the changing your neural pathways in your brain. It's a lot harder. It's like I always use this analogy that if you were going down a snow field and you went down the same path over and over again on your snowboard, you'd like, make this deep ridge, and now what you want to do.
You want to go somewhere else. So when you're trying to carve the new path, it's like harder and your board might get a bit stuck, and so then you go back the old way, the old path. And this is what it's like, trying to create those new neural pathways in your brain and take different action when you're wanting change and you're wanting to do something different. So it can be really hard if you're just like I'm
going to try. But if you get out a shovel and you make the new pathway where you want to go and clear the snow, then it's a lot easier for you to make that decision to choose differently, to do differently, to be honest people that I work with one on one, their entire lives change. Like they are just able to show up so differently as parents in their relationships, in going after the dreams and goals that
they have. Like people have new relationships and new businesses and new jobs, and just like they really get to flourish and they get to clear self sabotage self doubt. I've had a beautiful client find her purpose and her calling and start a beautiful business helping and healing other people.
I've had a beautiful client who was able to let go over a relationship that was no longer serving her, and then now she's engaged to a new incredible part and just thriving and living more to her values, more aligned to her values. And yeah, just so many stories like that, So.
Sounds like it helps them thrive, not just survive through each Shay. A lot of people get so caught up and thinking like this is just my life, this is how it's always been, Like I've always thought like that, or my mum did this, It's just what it is. But it actually doesn't have to be like that. You can change your beliefs and you can change the way you see things even though your childhood might have looked
a certain way. Do you think the first seven years of our life is the most impressionable and that's where most of our beliefs and experiences come from, that shape us to be how we show up as adults.
Yeah, that's what they say. That's the most delicate time in our life, those seven years where we're so connected with our caregivers, so we really learning and watching from them and being little sponges. And if we're not receiving the love and affection and care, and we're not held through our emotions and you know a lot of these common things. You know, all of our parents doing the best they could with what they have. But there is a lot of people out there walking around that experience that.
So that's hard wiring your system telling it this is how it is. And it's also putting your body in maybe fight and flight, or it's telling your nervous system then that like this is dangerous, I'm in fear. And we might develop some tendencies to help us gain a little bit of control. So we might have picked up some habits or some little quirks or things or behaviors and patterns that now we're thinking that doesn't serve me anymore or could come back from those years.
Yeah, So for anyone listening and they've never done any of this work but they feel a pull to do it that I don't know who to go to, that I don't know where to start. What advice would you give to someone.
The first bit of advice I would give is to really dig into finding the courage to going there and finding a way to help yourself feel safe in your body. And you know, this work is so nuanced. People can be feeling really really unsafe in their current state in their bodies and think, oh my gosh, to go there,
it's too much. So the first part of your work would be to work on your nervous system, to work on just yeah, coming into your body so like breath and slowness, and creating a little beautiful space for yourself to do any of this work, carving out some time, setting up a beautiful little environment. You can also find something that can be like a tether for you to hold onto, you know, like when people go diving and
they follow the rope. Something. You might have a pet that you want to keep close by in stroke, or a teddy or I don't know something that a partner or something that you can kind of hold onto for a bit of safety as you dip your toe into this work, and that keeps you grounded and feeling safe. So that's the first thing that I would say. The second bit of advice that I always give, which is easier for parents, but it can be helpful to anyone,
is to connect with someone. So if you're a woman, connect with a little girl that you know around the age that you're wanting to kind of drop into and think of her, like, imagine your daughter, imagine your niece, imagine whoever it might be, and say, in a moment that you might be feeling like you're not confident to go and do something or to speak up, to have a boundary to express what you want, imagine this being your daughter and what you would say to her, and
how you would hold her, how you would hold her emotions, how you would look at her, And then you can start to envision that being you.
Yeah, once you start to surround yourself with people doing this work as well, I feel like you can even feel a divide of other people that those relationships weren't serving you or they're not in that same path as you and you can see how that might be holding you back. And then you surround yourself with people that are doing this work, it just makes you want to lean into it more and it makes you feel safe
to do it as well. And then I think when you feel safe and you feel progress, you enjoy it more and that's really cool as well,