Appoge production. Today's topic is all about slowing it down your nervous system and just calming the fuck down. And one of my favorite sayings you guys would have heard me say on my social media so many times is you must fill your own cup up so that you can overflow to those around you into what you care about and give everyone the best of you, not the
rest of you. Love that if your cup is not full, you cannot overflow, and if you're depleted, you have nothing left to give to yourself, to your kids, to your partner. And that's why it's so important to consistently fill that up and not once a year go and get a massage. No, we're talking daily, every single day, do something. But I suppose we're going more into how to really create that calmness in your body and what happens when you.
Don't as I feel like there's a lot of guilt around this, Like I feel like there's a lot of shame and guilt about Like I feel like we're so in an era where everyone's like, I'm a boss bitch, I can do this, I can do that, and then you fucking end up being anxiety riddled and you're like, how the fuck do I end up burnt out? How did I yeah, all burnt out? Like how did I
end up here? And it's because people feel guilty for taking out a little bit of time or like sitting on the couch for half now to read, going for a half an hour walk on your own, Like I feel like there's a lot of guilt around it.
Because of society and like social media. I know when I go to dance class, where I go on date night, there is always a comment in my DMS about it. How can you leave your kids behind? God, you have so much time for yourself, Like that must be nice. I don't get that, you know, and a lot of the time is projection. But I'm like, I make this a priority because I'm a better mom, I'm a better wife, I'm a better person when I take care of myself, Like it is not selfish for me to go to
the gym. I've been called selfish that many times in the time I've been a parent to go to the gym. I like, this makes me a better mum. It's not selfish me to take care of myself. Plus, I'm showing my kids how important it is for them to put themselves first. I don't want them to grow up thinking that they can't look after themselves. They are so important.
I was the anxiety ridden person. I struggle with such bad anxiety, and I never stopped. I was like sweet, like I feel like, I'm so busy, blah blah blah. What's the next thing. I'd finish and I'd finally be like, I've got a good balance, and then I'd throw something else in like I was the queen of doing that and just saying yes to everything and continually saying no to myself, and I'd get such bad anxiety. I'd get so burnt out. Yeah, I'd get sick all the time.
Yeah, your immune system. Yeah.
But I felt guilt around it. I felt like if I went to the gym when I should be working or I should be doing this, and maybe fear maybe it's guilt and fear, maybe fearful of like, oh, trying to make sure that I need to do this and I need to do that, and like what if I'd like, you know, I don't know.
And of scarcely, like if you go to the gym, you could be putting that time into work.
There's a lot of fear of like, fuck, I need to be spending my time doing this and you spending my time doing that. I've just slowed down so much, and I can't believe how much more peace you are with yourself of course, how much more you get to know yourself, how much the snappy I am, and like far out it's like the one point in my day that I just.
So look forward to once again. It's like creating that space. When you stop and slow down, you create space to really connect with yourself and checking and make sure you are aligned and that you're not just keeping busy to numb out from something or to run away from something, because that's a coping mechanism a lot of people use. It's like, I'm so busy, busy, busy, And that's why I hate why there's like hustle, hustle, boss, bitch stuff. It's glamorized because it's like at what cost?
And also like, of course it's going to be different from person to person, but there's no reason why somebody can't find five minutes to sit down and have a coffee outside on their own. You can wake it five minutes earlier before the kids wake up, or even tell them, like mummy's gonna go have a coffee outside. This is Mummy's me. Ti, I'm gonna be five minutes if you
need me, like, I'm right here. Like yeah, you know, once they get a bit older, but even if it's five minutes out of your day, doesn't need to be like going to the gym, going for a walk, doing this, listen to a podcast, reading book. You have to do all of them, and not every day. Is like I'm sure you feel the same, not every day to feel with all of them, but it's prioritizing something in each day.
It literally is just like finding those little pockets of time for you. Yeah, and you know we're going to go into the things that we do, but if you don't, it's gonna catch up on you.
Goes back to that old saying that at what cost.
Yeah, and it will catch up on you. You will burn out, but you won't be able to think as clearly. You'll get brain foggy, you'll forget things, you'll get snappy, you won't be showing up as a person that you know you can be and that you want to be. You're so stretched.
Yeah, and that's.
Not goals, hashtag goals. It's not being a piece as goals. Living aligned is goals, like living from purpose and passion from a place of heart, not a place of fear is goals.
And also it gives you space and time to actually lean into being like, oh, what do I like doing? Like even me pick up the guitar and singing. Yeah. I was like, fuck, I see this all the time. I've done it for years. And then I was like trying to figure out things to do that would like
just for me. Yeah, And I was like, this is something when I go up there and I do like, this is just for me, and it's me connecting with me, and it's me doing something for me, and it's filling out my own cup and it's just finding like when you have this space to sit down and like journal do this, sometimes it can spark and it's just like a cycle, isn't it. Like you start one thing and then you're like, oh, I could do this if I get up you know, twenty minutes earlier, maybe I could do that.
Yeah, And it all.
Makes up all these little decisions make up who you are and how.
You show up and when you feel the difference of you putting in this work and implementing these things, it becomes addictive, Like I just know when I don't do those things that I'm not the mom I want to be. I'm not as patient, I'm not as fun like I snap way easier. If I'm not doing things that make me feel feminine and flowy and sexy, whatever, I'm not the partner that I want to be and that I know I can be. So it's our responsibility to do this.
But let's talk about the things that we personally do. Yeah, to fill up our own cup and to come our nervous system and get ourselves in a state of resting. What do you do personally?
So for me, reading is just like number one. But I want to say, I feel like I had this thing with reading where I always felt like if I read a book it had to be a personal development. Yes, we've had this coma stuck in that cycle. And when I actually picked up a book and read a really good fiction that I loved, it made me fall in love with it in a totally different way. It feels like you're watching a TV series only that, but when you're reading, it's helping your knowledge expand in so many
other ways. You get faster right at the more you do it, it's like another muscle that you've got. So reading has been right for me. I've loved it, and I probably prioritize around about an hour a day to read. But I've been getting up early. I've been getting up at like latest five point thirty, and then sometimes if I really want to read and I want to get heaps done, then I wait up like four forty five. Yeah,
I just got a bed earlier. Yeah. And then another one for me has been well, I don't know if the gym necessarily slows my nervous system down, but it makes me feel fucking good. So that's another thing that I've been really enjoy doing, but I don't know if
it necessarily slows me down. Music has been great. It's so funny though, because saying this music like a year ago, not even a eeogo six months ago, I'm Rebell was saying to everyone, I can't even listen to music because it makes me so sad like, and now it's like become that thing again that I'm really really loving and it's just the simple things. Honestly, for me, it's like
when Miller and Lincoln and that were babies. Just having a coffee on my own, just waking up and having that five minutes of peace before they get up, or even just getting up before them and like having a share and doing their makeup before they wake up, so I can start my day off on the right foot, nice and slow. I'm not frazzled and rushed before my
day even begins. Walking. Yeah, listening to podcasts yeah, and sometimes too, Like you can really find those good moments to saw your nervous system down, like when you're in the car, so you're doing two things at once. I listened to something that perks you up. Listen to a good podcast Shameless Place. Yeah, it's those little things that really make all the difference. So what is it for you.
I've got quite a few different things that I like to do. Getting out of nature for me, really slows me down. And I love going to the beach, just like the sound of the waves, the smell of the ocean, the sand of my feet, just like grounding to earth, like to mother Nature. I just feel this like instant, I breathe again and I stop. So nature for me is big breath work, even if it's not like an intense breathwork session like Steve booked us a couple of
breathwork the other day and it was amazing. It was forty five minutes long. But I'm just talking just getting up and taking ten big, slow, intentional breath. And however you start the day off, I feel like has an overflowed the rest of your day. So starting off with breath is just so calming, and I feel like I just go into the day so much calmer than what I would if I was to get on my phone and smash out my DMS or emails or read the news or something like that. They ever read the news.
Alone time for me where like very rare that it happens when no one else is in the house. But when no one else is in the house, how fucking good is it? It actually never happens now Tyler's there obviously, But alone time where I'm not distracted by noise, I've really learned. I'm really sound sensitive me too. I get really anxious when there's a lot of people in my house lots of noise. Even Taj at the moment. He's
love him to death, but he's a big energy. And sometimes I'm like, Taj, I need you to go down to a level two, like just let's just quieten down a little bit because he's so loud and yelling and throwing his toys that this morning he's banging this plane and I was trying to have a conversation with Steve, and I just makes me really anxious, like I need to some more chill sounds. So music's really big for me as well, Like there's a time and place for all different types of music, like if I want to
get pumped up or if I want to relax. But sometimes I've got one of those little Google boxes to be like hey Google, and you.
Ask, yeah, relaxation music. Yeah, stuff like that. So nice, so good.
Oh.
I love that journeling.
We both love to love journaling. I also love, like just coaching sessions with my coach Taylor. I feel like really calmed my nervous system because anything that I have been feeling is sitting there and I haven't known how to navigate through, or journaling hasn't quite hit the spot, or I'm struggling like to understand something. When we unpack that together, I walk away feeling like a weight sifted off my shoulders and that just really centers me and
like makes it fool. So much calmer connection time too, with loved ones, when you're like not on your phones, you're like face to face, you're having quality time together. That's really really calming for me. Well,