Appogia Production.
Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashley Bynes. This is a podcast where we learn.
Laugh, and level up together.
Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, find the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and I'm here to be your expander. Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. It's Ashley, your hosts, and I've also got Katie, my producer here. And things may feel a little bit different and a little bit quiet as we no longer have Kiara. So firstly, if you missed last week's episode, I please recommend for
you to go and listen to that. Is that as Kiara talking about her decision to leave the podcast.
To be honest, I.
Really didn't want to do an episode where I even spoke about this. I really wanted to keep everything behind closed doors. But with everything being posted online at the moment, I do feel like I need to speak up and
just clarify a few things. And I also want to say I really do understand the curiosity and the questions about the situation because I know that you guys are so invested in the podcast and our friendship and We've openly shared so much of our lives over the last two years, and I do appreciate each and every one of you so so much. So I do get it be online world. It is such an incredible place to grow and to learn and to share. But there's also a really dark side of it that can really impact us.
And with both of us being mothers, when our mental health is affected, it not only affects ourselves but our children as well. I know I can only speak on behalf of myself, but my oldest is at an age where he can see and feel when mummy is not okay,
and that's been me the last week. Sharing your life online it can honestly be really really tricky when you're navigating something like a friendship breakdown or a relationship breakup, or maybe you're just going through something that's really uncomfortable. I want all of you listening to think about a time where you've gone through something really, really hard and how hard it is to navigate that on your own.
And now think about how hard that'd be if you had tens of thousands of people speculating, assuming, judging, criticizing, and making up their own narrative.
What's actually going on.
So Firstly, from what's being post online, it's very obvious that we have had our friendship breakdown. I wanted to keep this offline to protect both of our mental health. I didn't feel the need to get anyone involved or make it harder than what it already was. Secondly, this was only a very very recent thing. Our breakdown was not because Kiara wanted to leave Grow and Glow. I think it was about five or six weeks ago when she first came to us.
Yeah, I think it's really important to say that. Obviously you never wanted to have to do this episode and go into more detail, but it is because what is being said isn't the truth. Yeah, Kiara came to us, both you and me separately, and said that she wanted to leave Grow and Glow and the reasons for it, which obviously are personal to her. But there was no angst whatsoever. It was so amicable. We were very accommodating. We worked together and let her. You know, we didn't
tie her down to doing any more episodes. We were very flexible. It was whatever she needed. We actually did give a few suggestions very early on, like how can we make this easier for you. How can we make this less work? Could you take a microphone home? You know, there were lots of things like we really tried to keep Kiara, and we really wanted to keep her. That was definitely our preference. Then moving on with Grow and Glow, which is something you didn't even think you were going
to be able to do. I remember you facetimed me and you were in floods of tears.
I was on the floor so upsets, upset.
So upset that Kiara was leaving because you love Kiara and you couldn't see a future of the podcast without Kiara. And it wasn't until some later conversations where we were like, well, maybe you know you love Grow and Glow, you love doing the podcast. Could you potentially do it by yourself or do it with somebody else, And eventually came to a decision, which obviously we're excited about bittersweet because our
preference always was to keep Kiara. It had Kiara's full blessing and so yeah, I think it's really important for people to know that part of it. And as you said, the friendship breakdown was actually nothing to do with Kiara leaving Grown Glow.
In the first place.
It was all very friendly and it was all very positive, and I remember having a conversation with Kiara where I said, the door is always.
Open for yeah percent. When she first came to me, I was in full support of her decision. When one of your friends comes to you and said I need to create more space for myself and for my family, there is nothing else to do but support them. And even on that phone call, I remember like feeling myself tea up. She had said I feel guilty, and I was like, oh my gosh, you don't have anything to
feel guilty about. But it was actually in that same phone call that she was on suggesting me to get a new co host, because I remember saying to her there is no Grow and Glow without you, and she was like, you have to keep going. You know you've closed down baseline. I know this is your passion. You can get a new co host, whatever you want to do.
I'm in full support. I just wanted to clarify that, like, I was in full support of her decision, and she was in full support of us continuing to do Grow and Glow, which was beautiful.
Yeah, definitely been some comments and stuff online around Kiara being replaced or perhaps pushed out, There is no truth in that.
Gosh soever, I'd have done anything to have her stay. I've absolutely, like hand in my heart, loved this whole journey. And yeah, I was devastated, Like I rang you crying so hard.
I was really really upset.
Yeah, and I think for us as well, like it's kind of been more than just doing your podcast, Like it's more than just a business relationship. Like I feel like there's been a real friendship. And you know, we went to Eten together and you know, all got on so so well. So have so much love for Kiara, and yeah, once again we wanted to have to stay.
M h. Yeah, and even after she left, like our friendship was still beautiful and supportive and full of love. Later, did our photoshoot for our next product, and I remember after we were sitting in the car editing the videos, It's pouring down rain and she started to cry and I started to cry because we're just talking about the memories and how much love we have for each other and how awesome this journey's been and how much we're
actually going to miss it. And this wasn't a decision that she felt like she wanted to meet, but she had to make for her family, which you know, I've been through a lot of health stuff this year as well. Your health and your family are always going to be the most important thing. She has made the right decision, you know, and once again we're in full support of that.
Yeah. And I even had a conversation with Kiara last week where I said, have you made the right decision?
Are usual?
Yeah?
And she said yeah, absolutely, and I was like, yeah, yeah, so yeah.
Just to clarify, our friendship breakdown was not because Kiara decided to leave. It was more so towards the end, only very recently. This is why it's still so raw and really hard to talk about. Was us not being able to see eyed at eye with the exit of the podcast.
I think one of the important things to mention as well is that this wasn't just a podcast for you.
Like one of the things.
That you were really upset about with Kiara leaving was the fact that you got to take two days every month to come up to Brisbane, drive up together, chat about the you know idears for the episodes, stay in a hotel, go to.
Dinner, have our launches.
Yeah, which I mean in hindsight, you could have got it all done in the day, But I know you guys love that time, Like, yeah, I know that for you was definitely one of the things that you were really upset about.
Podcast aside, and we've spoken about it before, like we really don't see each other outside the podcast. She lives about forty minutes down south for me, and with both of us running businesses and having multiple children, like, we just don't get a lot of time. So that was the one special time each month. It was honestly like the highlight of my month. Yeah, I loved it so much. So at the end of the day, this podcast is
called Grow and Glow. This isn't even the episode I wanted to do, but this this podcast is about growing through your hard times, are sharing our lessons and glowing out the other side. I want this podcast to be one that you come to to always feel empowered to live a more authentic life and to raise your baseline and to level up and to meet yourself where you are at right now and honor what you need in every single season. So that's what I want to focus
on now and moving forward. Something else that I wanted to quickly share a little bit about is what true self care and self love is about. Because I think it's thrown around on social media that it's like you're going to get a pedicure or you chuck a face mask on, But it's actually so much more than that, And for me, I want to talk about that today and end this on a beautiful note and reminder of
what that looks like. For me, self care and true self love is taking care of what's actually on the inside, and that's through nourishing our bodies with healthy food, saying hydra to getting our sleep, giving our stress.
Love was low.
It's about being in nature. It's about finding things and people that bring you a lot of joy in life. The one thing that people don't talk about is actually forgiveness. When you can forgive yourself and others for things people have said or done, you open up your heart just so much more love and emotional peace, And if you don't, it's toxic inside and it's not the vibration energetically that
any of us want to be sitting on. So, if there's anyone in your life or anything you're going through, if you can try and find it in your heart to have a deeper sense of like compassion for where you're at yourself and where other people are at. The only thing in life we are guaranteed is change, So the only thing that we know is going to happen. And this is the hardest part of life is relationship breakdowns,
whether that's intimate, family or friendship. And we will go through it, like every single person goes through this, and it's grieving. I've got a girlfriend at the moment going through a bad breakup and said, it's almost like grieving a death because that person's still there, but you don't have access to them anymore. A person you've told everything too, and you've gone to and they've held space for you and you've done vice versa, and all of a sudden gone.
It is a form of grief and it's so heavy on the heart. You wake up, I know myself, and I'm like, oh, is that a nightmare? Shit, No, that's actually happening, And you get this sick feeling in your stomach and it's quite consuming. Like even over the weekend, my kids were sick and it was just a slow weekend anyway, but it's just all I could think about. My heart is just hurting so yeah, not an episode I wanted to do, but I did feel like it
was It's necessary. I have so much gratitude I journey the podcast our memories and I will always hold that in my heart.
Yeah, and as I said before, the door is always always open.
What can you tell us about the new podcast.
We have a whole new name, we have a whole new look, we'll have new outfits, new forms which are very different to this one, and we have a beautiful
new co host. I honestly thought I might come on and do it by myself, but when Kiara said that I can get someone else, there was only two people in mind, and one of them is the same person that I was thinking when I first wanted to do a podcast, it was Megsie, and back then she didn't have the capacity to do it, and obviously I went with Kiara, and this time it was between two people as well, Megsi being one of them, and once again
she doesn't have the capacity for it. And there was only one other person that really stood out for me. And it's not like I had a list of one hundred people to choose from. A podcast is something very intimate and special. It's not something you would just get anyone and everyone on to do with. So it wasn't a hard decision in that sense.
And I remember you saying when we were like you could have Lily did the podcast on your own, and you were like, it's gonna be really boring, be fun me coming in and laughing by myself. Yeah, And what can people expect from the episodes?
Will it be similar content?
Yes, in the sense that we still want you to feel very comfortable, like it's you know, two best girlfriends sitting on the couch sharing. This person has a lot of depth, Like I have grown so much since she's become my friend. I've healed things that I've been wanting to heal my whole life just via conversations with her. So I feel like you're going to literally learn and grow so much just from having her in your ears. But she's also very playful, fun, She's like spicy and
central as well. She's a very multifaceted woman. Like it's not like a one size kind of fits all. So you have a lot of fun, you'll learn a lot, you'll grow a lot, you might be shocked a lot. She's got a lot of really cool, crazy stories to share as to who she is and why she is the way she is. But yeah, I'm very excited to announce her. I'm very excited to have more conversations with her, and I think you're all going to fall.
In love with there.
But yeah, it's really exciting. It's been such a bittersweet process. Like I always say, two emotions can coexist. I feel like I'm grieving what was in this friendship and you know what, I've really enjoyed every moment, and I'm also really excited for what's to come.
Yeah, so I'm like experiencing both at the moment.
But I just think each and every day we have the choice where we direct our energy and focus, and I'm choosing to direct it into what's to come and get excited and stay in gratitude. And also just a massive shout out to all of you, like, thank you so much. We obviously hit over a million downloads in a space of not even two years. It really means the world to ask at you tune in each week
and support us, and you know the dms. I still get on the daily of just how one thing we've said, one thing my mom said, or one thing ki Areas that once said you know something that we've discussed has truly helped transform or impact your life in a positive way.
It's really special to be a part of your journey, even if it's small.
And if anyone has any questions as well, like head to the Facebook forum and your thoughts. We did have a lot of people in there. I had a look through there as well at what people were asking and I hope today that we have answered some of those questions.
Hopefully it's given a bit more clarity and also just understanding and reminded know that we're two humans, and humans are messy. Life is messy, and these things happen, but you always have a choice to choose kindness. So I would do us that you do that for both of us. All right, guys, well, we will be back in your ears next week. Yees see them Bye.