Are we missing out on the best years? 😢 open, honest chat...

Oh cool there like balmie a little bit glossy, super hydrated, but you've got the liner to just give a little bit more depth. Yes, that combo is like one of my favorite combos at the moment.

And I feel like you and I do do a really good job at it because we get a lot of quality time with our kids. And I think that is one of the benefits of having your own businesses. You've got that flexibility, you can work your own hours. But it's still a lot. And for the last month, I've just been feeling out of alignment. I've been not feeling good I've been feeling really exhausted, really stretched, stressed, and things that I used to enjoy I'm just not

enjoying any more in my work life. And it's not the product, it's not the brand, it's not anything like that. It's just I'm doing so much, and I've done so much for so long. I'm just tired. I'm tired. I feel like I'm like burnt out, and I've had my foot on the pedal for so long. And I feel like the bigger your brand grows, the more logistics and stress that comes with it. And I'm a very creative person and my passion lies within creation, adding value to

people's lives, education, inspiration, connection, community. But I feel like the last couple of years I've been more involved in running the business, especially since I've taken over Baseline without my own business partner, cash flow, managing a big team, and there's just so much to do all the time that it's kind of I feel like I've lost my creative sparkle. And I feel like I'm so stressed so

often now. And I do have quite a large capacity to be able to handle a lot of stress, but even if I mentally can handle it, my body to not Yeah, I just started having moments where I was just, yeah, crying and just feeling a bit lost and not knowing how to change things up because I feel like I've got all these responsibilities on my shoulders and a lot of the work that I do, no one else can be ashy binds like I can't just like delegate to someone.

And I felt really stuck and yeah, really really tired. And then it's funny how the universe works. I feel like I've been getting these little messages and whispers to slow down or to change things up, but I've kind of not been ignoring them. I know they're there, but I didn't know how to change them. I was like, this is how I run the business. I don't know how to slow down or not work as much. If I don't work as much, won't get as much done, we won't hit our deadlines, our goals. And I just

get so caled off in my head. But then, yeah, last week I lost my eyesight three times in a week. The first time it happened after I trained, so I thought, and my neck was really tight, so I thought it was just my tight neck that had caused it. But it's really scary. It was like my whole left side went almost like pixelated and blurry, and then like little shots of blacking out, but my right side I could see anyways, I'd take a voltaire and lay down for

an hour. It went away, And then two days later I trained again, same thing happened, but on the other eye. I was like, this is so weird. So I panicked quickly took a voltaire and I had a full day of work. I had podcasts with Levi, I had a team meeting, I had planning like I could not be at work. Took a voltaire and got rid of it, carried on with my day, and then that day Levi actually said to me, I think you should go get a scan. Yeah that's not normal, like go get it

checked down. I was like, yeah, I should. Hey, I'm sure. I had intentions to get it done, but it was not a priority that day. Then the Sunday, I was sitting at breakfast with Steve Talatage and Steve's mom and stepdad, and as I'm talking to my father in law Stan, I'm like, oh, I can't see the right hand side of your body. And I couldn't see Marie Steve's mom. I was like, it's going blurry again, and he's like, I get this all the time as well. It's migraines.

I was like, but there's no headache. And she had neurofins, so she gave me neuropins straight away. But like once again, it was pigged sated, blacking out, dark, and I had to sit back, and at one point it started to migrate over to the left as well. So both were going like that, and then I started getting really big headache, so I just kind of put my head back. Tyler's all over me, of course, but put my head back and just close my eyes for a bit. And Steve's like,

let's just take you to the doctor. I just three times in a week, like let's just go get it checked out. So went straight to a doctor, walked in hoping I coul get in, got in straight away to this guy doctor I've never been to. He checked my eyes and everything and he goes, look, I'm going to send you to the hospital. I just don't think this is worth stucking around, like I'm not sure what it is.

He called someone must have been someone that's more knowledge on eyes and asked him a bunch of questions and he said, get it at the hospital. So I went straight to the hospital. Had to wait there for like three hours. They took me through and asked me a bunch of questions, what had happened? Has this ever happened before? It's like never in my life. And then they took me for a CT scan. I got a bunch of

eye tests done as well. All the eye stuff came back clear, got like photos of my eyes, had to like read from a far, got everything tested these weird machines. I went in CT scan and then probably eight hours later, I'm sitting still in the hospital, Stephen the kids are at home now, and the doctor comes out and he said, we've found an aneurysm, but it's incidental and it's nothing

to do with your eyesight. So I'm like, huh. And I was a bit annoyed because I was kind of hoping that if they found something cool, like, then I know what's causing this loss of sight. So I was one upset. Now I've got an aneurism. When you hear that word, and I'll go into this in a second, when you hear that word, it's really scary to hear it. Kills a lot of people, but actually one in twenty people are walking around with one and they have no idea.

A lot of the time it might not do anything. Yeah, okay, but to hear that, I was really scared. But then I was also like frustrated. I was like, okay, so what about my loss of vision? And he's like, that's what we don't have answers to. We're gonna admit you overnight because we want to do an MRI scam. We don't want you're walking out of here without any answers,

because three times in a week's a lot. Yeah, And we think it could be a specific type of migraines, and I didn't know there was a lot of different types of migraines or a migraines stress migraine. There's all these different types, and they thought it might be that,

but I was like, there's no actual headache anyway. So went into hospital and stayed there all the next day and get an MRI till the following night and got an MRI that all came back clear, and I had a neurologist come and speak to me and they said, yeah, the loss of eyesight, it's nothing to do with your aneurism because of where it's placed and the size of it. It's four by four, so at the moment it's not

huge and it's not tiny's but it's okay. So you'll just have to come and get that checked for the rest of your life. Now in this process, when I call mom, she was like, I know my mom. She will listen to this and be like, yep, that was me. She's super cool and calm and like, you know, trying to keep it together. I think she would have been so worried, but she's like, oh, that's what your grand

died of. And my real father I don't talk to, but I've spoken to all of his family my whole life, so his mom and dad I was quite close with. So she passed away from my anneurism. She ate some food one day, lost a vision, got a headache, went to go have a nap, and then passing her nap. My nun and pop had three sons, my uncle, my real father, and my other uncle. So I've got an uncle that's still here and he's got annual that he

has to keep an eye on. I don't know if my father has any but my other uncle's actually passed my aneurism, and if you saw my grand you would be like, oh my gosh, you guys are twins. If I take after anyone, it's my Gran. Our height, our bodies, our smiles, our noses, like everything was identical. I'm very much take after my father's side of genetics, Like me and Mom don't look anything alike. I'm like tall, Mom's like short. She's got bright blue eyes, I've got green eyes.

Like We're just very different. So I'm definitely on that side. So that was really scary to hear. Yeah, but the great thing is it's like everything happens at the exact time it's meant to. And if I didn't lose my sight, I would never have gone and got checked for a scan for an anneurism. My uncle Craig, when he lost his mom, mine Gran, he was really stressing for me and Matt to go and get checked because he's like,

it runs in our family. And I was like, oh, I'm so young, Like an age has got nothing to do with it, by the way, but it just was in denial, like I just didn't think I would ever have that. But then goodness, because now it's there, so I've got to go back in three months to get it checked.

It forced me to stop. It forced me to go to the hospital, sit in the waiting room and just be with my own thoughts and then stay in hospital two nights by myself Steve bought the kids were like a moment, but otherwise than by myself, the whole time gave me that time to really reflect on like what am I doing at the moment and what's not feeling good and what can I change? How can I get back to feeling really really good about getting up each day and going to work and spending the time here

and there and where my energy is going. So yeah, there's been so much change and Steve I just deserves a freaking gold medal. He has been incredible. Even from the moment that I was starting to feel like, oh, I'm just not enjoying this part of the business or this part of the business, so I feel like I'm working too much. He already was taking on little bits and pieces, but as soon as this happened, like I went into hospital, he just changedthing and took so much

off my plate. Got all the team like involved, just see where they can assist and help, and the structure of how we're going to be doing things moving forward is a lot less pressure on me, which is feeling really really nice. And I've just naturally been craving more time at home and with my kids as well this last couple of months, but I've found it hard to

find more time. So now I'm going to be taking basically, and I know saying this out loud, I sound very privileged that I can do this, but this is my situation. I'm so grateful I cam and I'm gonna be working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday really hard and a lot more productively too, really structuring my day out to push it all in those three days, and then Thursday Friday taking off with Tyler

Girl and being able to just go slow. So the last couple of weeks, even on a Thursday, I was saying, she's so nice to not have any plans with her like we went, came up one day and just floated around there for two hours and just I don't even know what the fuck we did, just looking at shit, and she's putting things in the trolley and she's walking around and we're dancing and just having a nice time. Like I feel like I've had my foot on the

pedal since i was thirteen years old. I've been in that fight or flight and hustle and it served me and I don't regret any of it. If I didn't have that drive and that passion and that fire in my belly, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. I wouldn't have the success, I wouldn't have all these jobs to supply for people. I wouldn't have been able to do all the amazing opportunities I've done, all the travel, like it's all been amazing until now, and now how

I've been running doesn't feel good anymore. And it's really confronting because change is uncomfortable and it's painful. But I tell you what, nothing is as painful as staying somewhere that you don't belong and staying in a place where you don't truly feel happy. But it's really hard to unpack because I love my life, I love my business, I love my staff like I love all of that, but just how it was running wasn't feeling good. So it's been a really massive week and I'm so emotionally exhausted.

Like me and here, I talk every single we don't see each other much. We talk literally daily. And I was saying to her last night, something I really wanted to talk about was just like normalizing being honest with how you feel in society. I think a lot of us are so not authentic and genuine when someone asks you how you are right. Because in the Highaway yesterday I walked in and all the Hideaway team were there.

My baseline staff don't work in the office every day, but the Hideaway team do, and they're like, oh, how are you feeling better? Like you know, I looked at all three of them, and I was like, you know, my instant reaction was going to be like, yeah, good at a hospital feeling good, because I even have that expectation myself. I'm out of hospital, I'm back with my family. I should be feeling better, right, but I'm not. And I said to them, I said, to be completely honest,

I feel like a broken records. I'm sick of complaining. I'm sick of saying I'm tired and I'm emotional, but I'm just not okay yet. I feel like I'm really exhausted and processing everything and now I'm navigating all the new changes and just trying to figure out my new normal and it's really hard. And Galen, he's so beautiful. He runs all the website a hideaway. And he said to me normalizing not being okay, good on you for

being honest. He's like, I really appreciate that. I was like, thank you, because I just don't want to not be authentic when people ask me. But then, you know, when everyone is asking you all the time, you don't want to just like sound like a winge machine or like I'm complaining and on social media. I don't know if you feel it some time, it's like everyone wants you

to be really honest and authentic and raw. But then if you complain about something or you say you're tired, it's like, oh, if I say I'm tired, it's like, oh, your kid sleeps all night, yeah, you know, and you get the comparison. So then you shut down. You're like well, I don't want to upset them and sound like I'm complaining. But then I'm like, no, I need to honor exactly

how I'm feeling. But in this time too, there's so many beautiful blessings that have come out of this, Like I said, finding the aneurysm, Steve stepping up, changing how we're doing everything and work, like it's so good. I'm so grateful for it. But once again, I don't think I ever take my friends and family for granted at all. My appreciation for the level of support that I have,

and I know it's not something everyone has. I said to Steve last night as I was having another cry, I was like, I'm just so thankful for you, Like the way that you hold space to me and love on me and you never make me feel like a burden. He's so validating, Like the way that he validates and sees every feeling that I have. I was like, not everyone has this, and like, how do single mums do this? Like, honestly, if you're a single mum right now at home juggling

the kids and juggling work, you deserve a fucking medal. Yeah, because I have not coped this last month. Without Steve just holding me and holding the fort too, of like the household, all the work me, the kids, like it's a lot, yeah, and all my friends, like even the community, Like when I was in hospital, it was just so beautiful. How many people care and take the time out of their days checking on how you're going and everything. It's

just beautiful. So it's been a really hard month, but now when I talk about it out loud like this, it's making me smile because there's been so much good

out of it as well. And I hope anyone listening it just gives you hope to know that if you're in the darkness right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you just have to stay strong and keep going and know, like I always have this inner knowing that even when I'm in the thig of it, that it's because I'm about to level up, all things are going to change and shift for the better. I know that deep down. But I'm also human. I'm not a robot, and I'm going to allow myself to

feel it all. But i know that it's just a season and it will pass. It's like every dark, cloudy storm it comes and it's loud, and it's thundery and it's like shaky, and then the rainbow comes down, the sun shines again and you can feel good again. But life is just full of times like this, so many ups and so many downs. And I think it's really cool that we talk about this on our socials and on this podcast, so that you know you're not just

looking on someone's highlight reel. We always say this, but social media it can be such a trap to look at someone's glamorous life and all the cool things they get to do, and me and you show that all the time. I love showing the fun bits of my life, but everyone's human and everyone goes through things, and I'm in the thick of it right now cry most days. Yeah, it's hard.

you do. But I can really just see you like putting yourself first and chatting to you back and forth and just seeing all the things you're putting in place, and how you're really just like you're just valuing you. You're listening to what you need to what your body needs. And it's been so nice to see from the outside as well.

I've got lots of friends with babies. Like I said Steve, I'm so excited to be able to go around and take them food and just like visit them more, you know, just run my errands or go get my fucking tonails done if I want to. Yeah, I'm feeling already feeling guilty and this is nothing on my team. They have

not done anything to make you feel like. This is all my staff, But I feel guilty that I'm not at work on a Thursday because they're all working on a Thursday, and Steve was like, doesn't work like that, baby. You've worked so hard for so long to create this life and create this business and create these jobs for

everyone so that you can have that flexibility. And yeah, at the end of the day, my health and my mental health, even the medical team were just like, you need to slow right down, yep, Like these migraines are loss of sight, even the aneurysm, like everything, like your health is speaking to you and you need to pull back on the way that you do things. And I was like, yeah, I've already known that, it just hasn't been until now being in hospital, but I'm like, wow,

actually I don't have a choice anymore. But yeah, it's just been a time. Holy moly, I haven't cried this much in so long. Yeah. It's tough, isn't it.

I generally think I have really enjoyed it up until now, but watching you go through all of that now I'm experiencing it. It's made me go, oh, this is okay. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to do things differently. It's okay to say nah, that doesn't feel good anymore. And this is not just in work life. If you're in an intimate relationship, if you have a friendship, if you have a situation that all of a sudden it's like, wow, nah, that doesn't feel good anymore, you

can choose to say no. You can choose yourself. And it's cool when you surround yourself a care around people like you. It gives other people permission and inspires them to be able to do the same and not carry that guilt. Yeah. So it's really cool that you've spoken about it because I love watching you change a different season. I admire it because I'm like change, Yeah, I think, how does she do it? How do you do it?

But it's so cool to just see you go evan flof whatever feels good and what you need in that season, whether it's what you need financially, whether it's what you need for your family or what you need for yourself or your relationship. Do you dip and dad where you need to? And I love that? Oh, thank you? Fucking cool.

hundred everyone else's mental health, energy time. You would say yes to anything and everything, whereas now it's like you've got firm boundaries and you communicate it so well. It's like firm but really loving. So I think that's really cool.

So I hope everyone listening, like us sharing all of this, We hope you take a lot away in ways that you can implement this into your life and how important it is to surround yourself with people that support you and inspire you and challenge you in those ways.

the next five fucking years. Yeah, but also you might go two months in and be like, actually, I kind of want to work on a Friday again. Yeah, And that's okay if you're feeling good and you're not friggin having all these signs and symptoms from your body. Yeah, and that's what you want to do.

Tarj's on school holidays, so I brought him along. Because Steve was at work and watching Taj be around babies and toddlers, I was tearing up. I went home Steve and I was like, baby, he is so tall and so big and so grown up, and these years are flying by. And he's like, I know, in a couple of years, he's going to be a teenager. We're halfway through.

Like they say, the first twelve years of their lives is when they spend the most, like weekends and time with you, and after that they obviously want to do things with their friends or whatever. And he's like, we're nearly at that next stage. And it's so sad. So even all this stuff happening, I've been feeling like I want to step more into mum life. Lesson to work because I work Monday to Friday, like most people do.

That's pretty much the norm. Like most people, you speak to They work Monday to Friday, and I'm the same. And then I have my weekends with my kids and I finish work at like two to three each AVO, so I get the arvos with the kids. But yeah, I'm like, I'm in this position where I can be more flexible with my hours, and I do have a great team that can help. Steve is happy to take

on a lot of that workload. He's got a very big capacity and he's just very skilled in a lot of areas, like even managing a team and running a meeting. Like the way he does it. To me, I'm like, it doesn't with such ease. I'm like, he's such a natural. But yeah, I want to be more at home with my kids. Yeah, it's feeling really nice and exciting for me. Who knows she's not gonna go to daycare two and how nanny is going to be trying to fell pregnant. Well,

she's trying to fell pregnant now, which is exciting. But I'm excited to have more time with my kids because it just goes by so quickly it's heartbreaking. Yeah, I said to Steve, but honestly, which we could freeze time and just have them this age forever.

just go like just fucking do it. Yeah, Like work can wait, yes, you know, like I know we have these goals and things we want to do, but also like we can work our ours off once the kids are in school if we want to, you know, you can and flow and change to what feels good.

to miss out on those moments with my kids. It's the more time, the more slow time I can get. We're going to do another episode actually on relationships, so I won't touch it too much in here, but the polarity and how much it's impacted Steve's and I's intimate relationship. Of this switch of feminine and masculine and our roles really interesting.

dreams of that sound. Often there's a mother somewhere who has heard the word mummy on repeat.

into a bed for cuddles. There's a mother somewhere. Her house is full of noise and mess, lived in and loved. There is a mother somewhere. Her house is clean and silent, and memories hang on the walls. There's a mother somewhere telling her children about when they were little. There's a mother somewhere asking her own mother what it was like. It's heart achingly beautiful and sometimes a beautiful heartache. She tells you this is incredible, the best thing she's ever done.

can't know. I don't know how I'm gonna cope. Steve's like, you know, the good thing about all these interest rates and everything, it's gonna be a lot harder for our children to buy houses. Maybe they'll stay at home. Want the kids moving out, so I needed to worry. I feel like my parents couldn't. Step Dad kicked me out when I was sixteen, But I feel like if my mom would have been like pretty stoked for us to be.

I'm feeling quite stressed and I'm really really tired. And he was just like, okay, did invade them one bit, but like, yeah, there's just so much to it, Hey, so much motherhood, life, working, career and change change, the amount of changes we go through far out. Yeah, it's a lot. But ps, oh yes, you don't have to have it all figured out all the time. Give yourself some space. Ps.

position of owning your own business. If you're in a nine to five job for someone else, it's a lot trickier and harder, and that's a lot to process. But there's always options and choices. It's just figuring it out.

pretty naturally, yeah, full of beans. Whereas now I'm like, I don't know when I'm going to cry, and it's like every other day I'm crying and I'm not feeling like myself, and I'm feeling stuck and lost and I don't even know why, or I'm trying to figure it out and I'm like a broken record sometimes to you and Steve or whatever. And I said to Steve, I feel really guilty that I'm not the wife that I want to be and I'm not the wife that you're used to and I feel like a burden just coming

in crying to you all the time. And he was like, you are not a burden. Get her back. Yeah, And he's like, I just so understand where you're feeling. Like He's like any entrepreneur or business owner, if you were to tell this to them, they would one hundred percent of experiences. He's like, I experienced this last year, Like he went through a hard time where he was feeling

like this and just wanting to give up. He's like, it's just so hard when you feel like you're doing all the right things and this is stressing you, and it's just He's like, it's a lot, but that validation, Hey, it's so important. I think every human just wants to be seen, heard and validated. Yeah. You know, it's just sometimes when you go to someone you don't even need advice, you just need them to hold that space. Yeah. Yeah,

he's been incredible, so so lucky. Oh anyways, guys, thanks so much for listening and we'll see it on Wednesday. Bye bye