A pod Shape production.
We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the land on which we gather today and pay our respects to their elders past and present. We extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together. Let's go deep, let.
The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and we're here to be your expander. Welcome back to Grow and Glow. Thank you for joining us today on channel pod Shape.
Welcome back, guys, Welcome back.
Got a very uplifting, positive, like feel good moving episode.
Yeah, five things that have really shifted our mindset or our perspective.
Things can really help shift yours as well. Before we get into the episode, As always our Monday episodes, we have the Share of the Week. I wish them would actually like write up a document of all of our shares of the week.
Remember that one girl did it in the forum that time.
Yeah she did too. Yes, good shares I know, but mine at the moment is beef tallow. I was telling Kia about this on the way up. So I love cooking at the moment and now I'm not working as much. It's just a way that I just look after my family and I love cooking a beautiful meal for Steve. And I'm obsessed with steak at the moment. It's all my body wants to eat.
How good do you feel like the next day after having a steak for dinner? Too?
So good? That's feel good with like meat in general, high protein diet, my body thrives. I was just looking at different oils and I had a tub of like ghee in the cup and I started cooking with that, and then I saw a random video pop up a beef tallow, and I thought I'll get some to try. It is so tasty. And the good thing about beef tallow same with coconut oil and olive oil to a
certain degree. But when you heat up save vegetable oil or canola oil or sunflower oil, any kind of vegetable when it eats, it destroys all the good components to it, and it's really inflammatory for your body. With coconut oil doesn't get damage when it's heated. Olive oil doesn't to a certain degree, but if it gets really hot, it will beef tallow does not. It stays you're good saturated fats because you don't want to have unsaturated fats, so
it stays stable for you. And it's just delicious. And another thing that I've been seeing all over my TikTok now is how good it is for your skin to put on your skin. Oh apparently, I've only used it for like three days in my skin, but it makes your skin feel so hydrated. And the transformations I've seen online girls fully cleared up their acne. It just looks so plumped, so hydrated, so glowy. It's incredible and it
just feels so good in your skin. And I message leave By this morning asking him about it, just because we love talking about all things health. He's like, oh, yeah, I've put that on my skin for years. It's like, why don't you tell me about but he said, like that an avocado oil and coconut oil, Like yeah, definitely the top three, like fats and oils to cook with.
So just have a look in your cupboard if you have vegetable oils and canola oil, like it's really inflammatory to your body if you can swap it to beeg tallow. And on top of that, for me coming out of hospital and just like really more so wanting to focus on my health. Was I feel best when I'm eating like more of a paleo way of eating. And someone asked me the other day, like, what does that look like to you? And I said, it's just more natural.
Anything that's packaged just probably not paleo. It's your meats, fruits, nuts, vegetables, seeds, lots of water. I'm eighty twenty, so I have a little bit of cheese, I have my protein powders, my clean treats, but other than that, it's mainly just really natural foods. And I'm not ainly streaked. But I feel better when I'm just on a high protein diet and it's made up of natural sauces and I always try to buy organic, grass fed meat, pasteurize eggs. Like, so yeah,
that's my recommendation to just bring it. If you're not feeling healthy and you're not thriving, you got brain fog, bring it back to the basics. Even my bread rice and pass like, I love it, but I feel better when I don't eat it. I was eating pasts like multiple times a week, having toast every single morning for breakfast. Rice. We're a big rides Tarla's favorite food.
She calls it rah rah.
We have that multiple times a night. I love it and I don't feel shit off it, but I feel even better when I don't have it.
So I'm just like pulling back listening to your body.
Chin, Yeah I am.
I've started eating a lot more eggs again lately.
Actually off them many.
How funny that we do this stuff. We don't talk about it because we were doing all about other brakis, And lately I've just been like, I'm just craving more like eggs.
Bacon and eggs now, and I do get with avocado too. Sometimes I have a sprinkle of cheese, but yeah, bacon, eggs satisfying breakfast.
I can't believe that we're both in that's And.
The avocado is just perfect like cherry on top the healthy fats, and it keeps.
Just so fullward it does, it really does.
And you know what I noticed too, If I have sweet for breakfast, like the overnight weepings, which I love, all my oats whatever, or a protein sometimes smoothing depending on it. Because I've had that taste of sweet, I want more.
Sweet, more sweet throughout the day.
Honestly, that's true, savory, I don't crave as much sweet. Yeah, so yeah, that's something to try as well. Anyways, that was like a ten minute share.
It was always going to be worth it, ye true. What's yours so mine? Is actually a video that I came across on Instagram and I was just like Wow. It's basically this lady talking about sitting and how much it affects our health and even people in their job like it might make them be like, oh, I want to get up and move a little bit more. Even me, it is my job, like I sit down in edit, phages on the computer a lot, you know, emailing supplies and stuff like that.
Just have a listener.
That's you ready.
As you may have heard in pop culture, sitting is the new smoking. The science shows that sitting. It's not just that exercise is good for you and moving is good for you for your stress, anxiety, burnout. It's that sitting is actually bad for you and it can increase your sense of anxiety, stress, and burnout.
Wow.
There was a study of eight hundred people and the ones who sat the most. This is like knock your sock soft data. The people who sat the most had a one hundred and twelve percent higher risk of diabetes, one hundred and forty seven percent higher risk of heart disease, a ninety percent higher risk of death from heart disease, any fifty percent higher risk from death overall. All to say that sitting is actually bad for our health, are well being and as it turns out, your stress and burnout.
Ting. Is that so interesting?
So HARDOD like, I move a lot, but I feel so bad people that are at a death job.
I know. But then is this not a great study and thing that's been done to be like, can we do something about this? Can we have every ten minutes get up and walk around and do something on I don't know, do something else. We're moving around a bit more because I just like heard that and I was like, wow.
Even if you get up and go toilet, go to like a further away toilet, like.
Walk around the block a toilet break. Yeah, I did not think that with such huge effects from literally sitting shit. I know.
Interesting, Hey, I'm definitely not sitting as much now. I don't have baseline, like I go into the office Monday, Tuesday, sometimes Wednesday, but even then I'm filming a lot and like doing marketing some like up talking a gallon over here, and I go see Steve in the office here and go down to the warehouse and chat with them down there some moving he's more.
Yeah, that's good.
That makes me feel better. But Steve is at a desk like all day every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to get one of those walking desks.
But reckons you'd fall on it, cause I don't think I could today. How do people do that?
Yeah? I think I'd be Okay, you just had got a slow pace.
You need to got to slow pace, but at least you're moving your body or even a standing.
Desk, I reckon, if I did standing, I would like hunch over, go on one side of the hip, like I wouldn't be balancing up right.
Yeah. Yeah, And that's the another thing she could like, if this was something that was really important to you could go to your boss and be like, hey, do you mind if I get myself desks?
The workplaces are supporting that anyway for them, Yeah, I would get my stuff on if they want to one I reckon. Yeah, yeah, so cool. Listen to the episode. So we're just one from one, we've both got one each. Do you want to go first? Sure?
Sure, sure? So the first one is that our brains are always looking for the most negative outcome. That's just the way we are wired to keep ourselves safe, to protect ourselves, to protect ourselves. So we really have to remind ourselves all of the time that what our body is naturally trying to think is the thing that makes us feel the worst. This is why it's so important to be consciously questioning yourself. So whenever you're feeling unsafe, going like okay, like this is my body's way of
protecting me. I am safe, I'm fine, I'm okay. But your brain is wired to just always go to the negative worst.
Case Smorry, isn't it.
It's really hard because if you're just going along life and you're not somebody who's listening to this podcast that's consciously trying to become more aware of themselves, you would be feeling in vital flight a lot of the time.
The world's going to kill you.
All the time. Well, a lot of us do feel like that. Stress, Yeah, stress happening or different situations going on, and yeah, it's literally just our natural response to try to keep ourselves safe.
It makes so much sense.
Yeah, if you live, you're right.
If you're not aware of it, you just think the world's against you, everyone's against you. Things are always going to go wrong. Like that would become your language, Yeah, that become your beliefs and your thoughts. Yeah, that would then affect the rational frequency that you're on, So you're going to attract more of that. That's it, and your life probably wouldn't be feeling too good.
Definitely, And when you know this information, you start to find things that you can do to switch that as well. Because whenever I'm in a negative, like a little bit of a more negative mindset, yesterday I had a bit of a flat day and right before my period, there's just been some stuff going on, and I pulled back out that book You Can Be Happy no Matter What, And that's my go to whenever I find myself going
back into the realm of negative thinking. So I have like different books for each seasonal thing I can feel myself leaning into where I'm kind of like needy top myself countab Yeah, if I feel myself not trusting the universe. I'll go pick up like the Secret or the Universe has my Back or one of those books. But when this is happening for me, first thing I do is I chuck in my handbag. You can be happy no
matter what. And it just reiterates to you the whole way through the book how your thought process works and helps me kind of go, okay, this is just a part of my natural response, like you know, and it's just such a nice little reminder that it's normal too. I feel like sometimes when we have negative thoughts come up, we might feel like, oh, yes, but it's normal, it's okay, Yeah, it's all right. Yeah you can say hello, and then you know, thank.
You for the message. Yeah I am actually safe all about this. Yeah.
Yeah, that's my number one. What's your number one?
So I've got down here we wrote down our own notes that your past does not have to equal your future. It can be a part of your story, but it doesn't have to be your whole story. And you can create and change your future with so many conscious choices. You don't have to say the victim to the negative or hard things that life has thrown you.
That's a really good one.
It is, and I think we can all relate it back to our childhood or something that's happened when we're younger, and we retell this story and we're it like a badge of honor. But it does not have to define your next chapter, your next season of life. And you know, I've been very open about my childhood and my stepfather and the things that happened and things I had to navigate, and being at a home when I was really young and never feeling like I was loved or enough or
even want it. Yeah, but does that mean that I'm going to feel like that for the rest of my life. Hell no, I'm going to choose a partner the opposite of my stepfather. I'm going to show up for my kids way differently. I'm going to build and create really strong, deeply connected friendships where I am loved, supported, encouraged. You know, I have my cheerleaders. I'm going to look after my body in a way that feels really good to me. I'm going to make so many different choices so that
my future does not look like my past. My past is a part of my story that I'm really proud of. And if I didn't have all that stuff happen, I wouldn't be here today sitting across from you, talking to all of you. I love everyone's past and run stories and the mistakes we've made and the hurdles we've gotten through. But yeah, it does not have to equal your future. I can't heard that. It would have changed my life when I heard it, probably back when I was like
twenty or something. Yeah, it's something I always like to retell because I feel like just someone listening that's got a land for you right now, I'm.
Like, yeah, And I think we can all reflect every six months and be like, what's not feeling right?
Yeah?
You know? What can I shift? Could be small things, small habits that you've picked up and be like, you know, is this aligned with the person that I want to be?
Don't have to keep doing that?
Oh?
Yeah, no, I don't.
Have to keep living that way?
So good?
Okay? That our thoughts of voluntary, and because we think of thought, we don't have to believe it. We can think it and then choose to let it go. This has helped me a lot with overthinking things. Just because this story in my mind feels real doesn't mean that it is. I feel like, when situations happen in life, we can really fixate on them, and we fixate on them so much that we believe our own minds, whatever we give meaning to it, we wholeheartedly trust ourselves. So
we're like, we are so right. We believe that this is exactly what's happened, this is exactly why, and this is exactly what's happened here. But I think that learning that for me has just been a huge light bulb moment where I've been like, yeah, yeah, I'll just get out of your head for a second. Like, you know, not everything revolves around you. I have said that before on the podcast, but in our own world we do
feel like the universe revolves around us at times. I think just remembering that just because you think something m hmmm doesn't mean.
That it's actually a fact. And sometimes you could say something or even say something about someone else and then go, oh, hang on a second, what does that actually mean? What's that saying about me? Why do I reject that? Why did I judge that person? Or why did I have that initial thought? Holy shit? That activated something in me, and it's getting curious and asking those questions again.
Definitely, I even actually I'll chat about this a tiny bit on the podcast, because I've spoke to you about it fully yet. I told Ashley I was doing this shadow work task, and in it it's said to pick someone that you really really dislike, and then you do after that, you write down all the things that you really don't like about them, and then you work out that all the things you don't like about them is
because you're lacking that in your life. So it's like this one person that I wrote down, I was like, because they're just like so like rude, they don't talk much, they just sit to themselves. And I'm like, but is that because I don't feel like I can do that? Is that because I feel like I have to be overly happy and overly nice to everyone I meet? Is that actually your security.
More well it's front or something.
No, not necessarily more upfront, but maybe not always feel like I have to put in so much energy with people that don't align. I feel like if I see someone and it's like a neighbor down the road and I haven't seen them for a few months, I still be like, Hey, how you going, how's little Benny doing? Like, but maybe I actually can just be like, hey, yeah, there's reasons why we do everything. You've judged it to be rude, Yeah, just because I don't do it that way.
But she probably doesn't have the energy.
Yeah.
Maybe on days when I don't have the energy, I wish I could do more of that, but I don't because I think in my mind that that's not the right way to do things. I think it's always to acknowledge people, ackowledge people, be friendly.
Yeah, it's like you've got this invisible rule book. Yeah, as to what's right, what's wrong, what's good, what's bad, what's okay? You get so fixated on your rule book forgetting that everyone else has their own rule book based upon their experiences, their culture, how they've been brought up, you know, things that have happened in their life. So it's cool to sometimes open.
That rule book and be like conditioning.
Yeah, that doesn't actually have to be like that.
No, And yeah on days where I only have a small capacity, Yeah, I'm not that energized with my husband. I am not that energized with my friends. And it's like, why with the stranger on the street, do I feel like I need to have a big chat?
When I was like good morningred percent. I kind of feel like that would like school events, Yes, I don't know. I just feel like at the end of the day, when there's all these invites to outside school activities and stuff, if Taj really wants to go, I one hundred percent would take him, But he never really mentions them. I think he would rather be at home with us or like his close friends. But I think that to myself too.
I'm like, I would rather go and see my friends that I don't get to see much anymore because we're all busy all with kids, running businesses or whatever. I'm gonna go hang out with people that I don't even have a relationship with, the need to build new relationships. But I used to feel bad about it, and I kind of was like, oh, I wish I was one of those mums. It was like involved with everything and so social that I'm like, no, why do you feel bad?
Very involved the school stuff either.
But I've told myself a story that that makes a good active mom. Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm active and present with my kids where they need me to be at home doing our own thing. I don't have to go to every patents of class they.
Have every week, I know, and that's even as well. Like another one that I had was going away from my kids. The story that I was always shown and told was that mom doesn't leave the child. Yes, you're always with them when they need you. You are there constantly, no matter how much you might feel like you need a break or you need to look after yourself or do anything. That's your job. And that's why it's meant
to be. And it's been really cool obviously surrounding myself with so many people and hearing so many different stories and knowing the way that you know the first seventy to be life impacts so much and we're just wired to pretty much do the same thing that my parents have done. You've got to change things. I feels uncomfortable, but now look at me, like went away on the weekend with Curdie, brought my kids back there too, but then come up here and I don't get that guilt
surround going anymore. But yeah, it was hard work. At the start I were talking to you about it, I was like crying because I was like, it just feels so wrong. Yeah wrong, Yeah, I felt wrong. It's not wrong. It's just the story that I told myself.
Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. That's a really good one. I love that the life is literally happening for you. I know I've said this moon time, so I'm sorry for sound like a broken record, but I just can't not be spoken about because it really did shift so much for me, and it still does. Every time something happens. I just know it's for a bigger reason. And if I don't know what it is right now, I know that I'll figure it out later on. It's happening for
a higher purpose. It's a bigger reason. It's there to teach you, expand you, and one day, if you choose, because it's always a choice, you'll be so grateful for all all of your past make you who you are today. So make sure you choose to let all of your pass and everything you're going through make it something meaningful and empowering.
Oh I love that.
Yeah, we get a choice to decide what happens to us, how it's going to impact our future in a positive way. And even with my second surgery that I need to go through, like, I don't quite know what that's teaching me yet, but I know there'll be something I look back on and be like, that's why I had to go through that. Yeah, it might just be to help one other person. I don't know what it'll be, but I just know I would do anything not to have to go through that surgery again. But I know it's
happening for me. What's happening to save my life at the end of the day, that's a big reason. But just yeah, whenever you get stuck or go through something really hard, just have that trust that you know this is happening.
And the universe always pulls through, doesn't It always pulls through. No matter what we have gone through, things will just pop up at it go around. I'm like, ah, always.
Has your back, always has your back, and we've got so much evidence that it has our back because you look back on your past and it's always worked out, always hard. Maybe it wasn't the way that you planned, maybe it looked a little bit different. Maybe you haven't found the lesson yet, maybe you're still in the thick of it right now, but it's worked out. Yeah, you're okay, you're alive, you got through. So yeah, that's just one that's been so life changing, so true.
And when you can think from that place too, it's such a nice, pleasant place to be and isn't it Yeah, living out a gratefulness gratitude.
Yeah yeah, I think I heard that from him when I was like nineteen. It's just stuck with me ever since. One of his best quotes I reckon, yeah, yeah, life happens for you, not to you. That's his one. Yeah.
Yeah, amen. Learning that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have. When you come from compassion and understanding, rather than getting annoyed at them for not meeting you where you are at, life feels a lot nicer. So true, that was a hard one for me. I feel like once I shifted that and I went from like, oh wow, I can see why they're that way because of this, or why are
they feeling like that? Like, rather than being annoyed questioning it compassion, more understanding, and just low expectations for the way other people react. I guess to a point. We always talk about this for sure, boundaries too. Yeah, But then that's the thing. You can still hold compassion and understanding for people from afar, yes, and still have your boundaries in place, but you don't have to be annoyed. You don't have to let it rock you.
I was telling you about a conversation Levi and I had. I think it was about someone that takes recreational drugs, and we were talking how it's not an alignment with our way of living. I suppose yes, But the way leave I worded this, I thought was just really really beautiful. Because I have someone in my life who uses recreational drugs quite often. I see the negative effect it has on their life. However I still love on them. And I had another friend be like, I don't know why
you still hang out with that person. They're really not aligned with you and your values and your health and like all that kind of stuff. I said, yeah, I know, but I still really love that person. And I see they're struggling, they don't have the tools, they're not ready to change it. But doesn't mean I don't have to love them. And yeah, it's not the person I choose to spend all of my time with, but I will always have their back and I always love them. From
Afart and he was saying the same thing. He was like, yeah, they can be doing things that you would never ever do, but you can still love that person. You just when you have that compassion for where they're at. And you don't expect people to be where you are at, or doing the work that you're doing, or beat the level that you are. You can still have beautiful connections. You can still have a beautiful, solid friendship. Yeah, and they
need to love the most they really do. They need the support, they need the love, and especially they need no judgment. Have they ever not loved on you? No, This one person has always shown up for me, always supports me, even the little things like one of the first people that she always comments and likes and shares my stuff, like just little things like that. She's just such a solid friend. So just because she makes different choices to me, it doesn't mean I love her any less.
It just kind of ties into it, you said nicely. Just to always have an understanding, compassionate way of viewing people and being there for them. Yeah. The stories you tell yourself are not always true. In fact, a lot of them are actually bullshit. The stories that you've been told how you've been conditioned or you haven't explored other ways to be or do things. So now you've attached yourself to that story. And like you were saying before,
some stories we tell we just tell it. So often we've been told since we're a little girl, it becomes our truth. You fully, wholeheartedly believe it. That someone tries to challenge you on it, you might get activated or like treat you from it, and you're like, no, this is how it was because of X y Z. But then when if you can get centered and actually like unpack it, you're like, hm, is that actually the truth? And this story also may be there to keep you safe,
and it might also be helping you justify something. Yeah. And Myles's story was that I'm just really, really dumb, and anytime I got a new opportunity, I got offered a new job, I saw a job I want to apply for, even like going for my manual license, I didn't know it from my automatic because I had a story I was too dumb. Was that the truth? Definitely not? Am I slower learner than others? Probably it's like there's always someone rich, smarter, prettier than you. Doesn't mean I
wasn't capable of doing it. If I actually put my mind to it and studied hard, I'm sure I could have done it. But I let that story become my truth. So I said no to things without even giving them a go. Yeah. So it's just so cool to be aware of what you're telling yourself and say to yourself, like, is that actually the truth? Because a lot of the time it's not.
And when you start to actually like do this and question things more or like say, something activates or triggers you and you start to unpack it, it's like every single thing you can start to see from so many different angles. Yes, but it's so funny because it's like tunnel vision initially, like ton of vision, and then you start like questioning
different things and you're like, oh oh ah. It's like all these little moments of like oh wow, I never would have looked at it from that perspective if I didn't just like take a second to be like, hang on, it's just the pause.
Hey. Yes, And it's funny with that story too, that I'm too dumb one. My mom's like, it's actually interesting now you've said that, Like, I don't think you're dumb. I think you're not interested. Just like the subjects that you were interested in you passed with flying color. The subjects that you didn't pass, which was like science, mass, like biology, all that kind of stuff, because you had no interest in it, But the ones that you were really interested in, you wanted to, like study, you did
really well. So when you say I'm not dumb, try changing that language to be I'm not interested. That's very true.
That's really cool language.
Yeah. And then sometimes I have to catch myself out from being lazy. If Steve's like, hey, can you like do these documents and read this, I'm like, oh no, paye Iro'm too dumb. Can't you just do it? And he's like too dumb or can't be bothered? I'm like, I can't be bothered. He's like, you are more than capable of reading what that's about, you just don't want to. I'm like, yeah. So sometimes I'm like, okay, what's the actual truth behind this? I can't be fuck doing that.
I'm not interested in it. I don't want to learn about that. No, Like, there's the truth.
And when you're really passionate about something, you want to learn everything about it. Yeah, get honest with yourself now. I'll literally be honest and say to Steve like, I don't want to learn that, I'm not interested in it. Just talk to me something about space. I used to say it I'm too dumb. I can't absorb that information. Now your language up too, Tom.
But now, but it's a compound. Now I'm saying, Babe, I'm not interested in the space. I don't want to learn about what's happening up there, have no plans, are going to the moon? Talk about this with someone else, or I'll listen to you. But I'm like, I have no interest in learning it. Yes, because you're trying to get me to watch something, I'm like, oh.
Some of that stuff can be very boring to watch. Yeah, it's like rocket ship over my head.
It's like me getting you to watch something on contouring. You're going to be like, yeah, watch, so language ships so important? But yeah, are the stories that you're telling yourself actually the truth or is there a way to like shift it and break that story because a lot of the times it's not going to be serving you, and it's absolute bullshare that someone else has probably told you along the way. And I look at the person that told me as well, and I'm just like, that's
my stepdad. I have zero respect for him. I don't like who he is, how he treats people, what he's done in his life. Would I listen to you and take that on board. Yeah, oh thank you.
That two people can live through the exact same event and have two completely different stories attached to it. So stop trying to understand how or why someone doesn't understand you your values, your beliefs and standards. Our values, beliefs and standards change with every scenario for each of us. What someone thinks is totally fine and okay, another person would never let someone else do to them. But that's also what makes life interesting, everyone having their own opinions
and personalities. Nothing is right or wrong.
Just what we think it is, oh so well said.
Even you know, going through the exact same situation, Like you know, how you spoke about when your mom came on with your brothers and your childhood and how all of your perspectives and how you felt was so different because that's been the different experience because you had experienced a lot of the heat.
And we interpreted things differently too, that's it. Yeah, And we take information to make up our own stories and attach different things to it.
Definitely, and like even you know, when different things happen, or like saving if her friend acts a certain way, like another friend might be like oh I didn't really notice that.
What's she like that?
And you're like, like she was so oft today or she was so true.
I thought that was really rude. Ah, like, yeah.
That's so true.
That's such a good example. I feel like my next one's gonna ruffle a few feathers. And I kind of contradict myself a little bit because sometimes I do say I'm lucky or I feel lucky to have good friends or whatever, but no one is lucky. I don't believe in luck. I think it's a cop out word a lot of people use because they can't be bother doing the hard work to be successful. This is obviously like
in different situations. There's so many layers to this, and I'm sure someone will argue that if someone means a million dollars that they are lucky. But I'm generally speaking day to day, when you see someone doing well or having all the things like a solid relationship, healthy shiny things, holidays, deep connections, fun, meaningful friendships, that it's not luck. It's actually taken time, energy, effort, resources, sacrifice. And I do
believe that so true. It's like that quote the grass is greener where you water it.
Yeah, and it's so true. It's like it's not greener on the other side when you look someone else is like, are you doing the things that they're doing? How are you worrying your grass the same way they're watering their grass to get greener.
I have people say not as much anymore. But I used to have people say, oh, my gosh, you're so lucky that you could launch a business because you have such a big following, And I'm like, yes, that helps, for sure, but don't forget the last ten to fifteen years I have spent building that. Following last ten to fifteen years, I've been negatively placed in the media that I've had trolls, that I've had people turn up to my house, that I've had death threats, that I've had
all this stuff happen, Like, that's not luck. There's been so much time and sacrifice and money and effort put into building the trust and building the numbers up. Yeah, but it's like I get it all the time. With friendships, I do have so many beautiful friends. We're so lucky you have those friends. I do feel so lucky every single day that I'm like, but I still pour so much into my friendships and I always have at the moment. Steve doesn't have a lot of close friends, but he's
like I also put no effort into them. He's like my work, I'm with my family and I'm content with that. He's like you, you know, since you're a little girl, friendships have always been high on your priority list, and you put so much into them because I genuinely value it and I love it, so you can relate it to anything in your life, and like where you're putting your energy, it'll keep growing.
Do you know something I always say instead of like I'm so lucky, I always say I'm so blessed, blessed. Yeah, because it's like with the kids and that I'm like, I'm so blessed to have them, I'm so blessed to have the job I have. I haven't because it's not like saying it was easy to get there, but I'm
so blessed I've got it. Yes, I really like that instead of lucky, Like when people message me and go, oh, you're so blessed to your life, like yeah, I am, yes, Yeah, it doesn't take away from any of the hard work you might have done or anything else, but it's still finding gratitude for what you've got.
I'm guilty. I've definitely caught myself out sometimes where I thought, oh, they're lucky they've got this. I'm like, oh, hang on, why are you saying that? Yeah, and I'll unpacking and like, yeah, catch myself out in it.
Yeah.
Sometimes I'm jealous about something it could arise, but I catch myself pretty quickly. So just yeah, be aware when you say that next time, Like you probably haven't seen what's gone on behind the scenes for them to get that thing that you're wanting.
Yeah, and we all naturally have those thought processes. Yes, like we're all going to actually have like things or feelings or things like you know, but.
It's it's doing too even if you're jealous, it's just highlighting what you feel like you're lacking or what you would like more of. Yeah. So whenever I feel a jealous feeling come up, and I don't like feeling jealous, but I'm like, ah, you're wanting more of that, Yeah, how can you get that?
Or are you prepared to do.
What it takes to get that? That's it and wanting to sacrifice that to have that, And then sometimes it like diminishes that feeling, so I'm like, no, I don't actually want that, So I don't want to have to do that to get that.
No, that's it when you think about the hard work. Yeah, someone has like, actually not.
You can have that internal I still have moments where I see people with an active read business and I might get the slight feeling of like, oh, just in my gut, and then I'm like, no, I don't want that anymore. I decided I didn't want that, and I love my life without the stress of that. So it's normal for those feelings and emotions to come up. You've gotta have so many internal conversations with yourself. Honestly, I
talk to myself all the time. Sometimes I'm like, someone's to see me in my car and I'm full on having a conversation. But I think it's really cool to do that.
Yeah, this ain't she We'll just sit you on your phone things in there. Yeah that's true.
Actually, who cares what they think anyway? Yeah, that's it.
I probably not even think about your probably will life does not revolve around you. Actually, Okay, my last one, this is kind of similar to yours, only you can do the work. I think I heard this a lot, but have really felt it. With the inner work of learning to slow down and tapping into my feminine energy more, only you can force yourself to create more space and stop the things that are no longer serving you. Hard truth but also one hundred percent correct.
Ah, so good.
Any area of life, whatever doesn't feel aligned, whatever it's not feeling right, You're.
The only one image you.
Can change it.
As much as we want to have a night in shiving armor, come and save us.
You got to do the work you do, really do.
You can put the support around you, but you still have to like dig deep and do the hard tap reaction, take the action, make the changes conscious. Yeah, that's beautiful. We've sold a story that once you commit or decide to do something, that you have to stick with it and see it through, push through, and like, don't give up. This has been so relevant to all the conversations has been having lately. But I fully disagree. I just don't think you have to do that anymore. I don't know
where along the way we got sold that story. I don't know if it's in school. It's like you go to school and you study, and you go to university and you pick that one subject and you do your degree, and like, see if that this whole physio degree is it? You knowed for five years? He went them on the job for a week and went, I don't like this, and.
I love when I find out for a I didn't imagine if he felt like I'm stuck now because I've done that, I'm so cool that he went like, oh, I don't want to.
He's got this big debt to pay. But he's like, no, I actually can't see myself doing this when I did a PT coorse and behaving PT.
Wow, physio would have been handy for PT though, too right, Yeah, true, yeah, And it's such letting me be so good.
At massage when I've got a sort neck or something. I'm like, but like, you can change your mind in work, in career, in business and friendships and relationships and what you wear, what perfume you like, how you look, what your opinions are, things like you can change your mind and you should be Yeah. I look back at myself five years ago and like, I don't want to say cringe and put myself down because it's doing the best I could. But I look back and I've changed so much. Yeah,
changed my whole life. My outlook, the way I've done things, the way I think, the way I dress, Like, everything has changed.
I didn't think year of growing Glow. We would listen back and we'd disagree with a lot of the things because I feel like we were more like work hard, hustle.
Yeah, well that was a season we were in. Yeah, it all like, yes, we could do it all, but could we do it well? And we're we happy we were regulated when.
We exhausted, we were running off adrenaline.
One hundred and ten percent. Makes you always say that to me because I said, since I've closed down baseline, I've slowed down. I've never felt more tired, and I expected to come out feeling so energized because I wasn't working as much. She's like, yeah, but you've been running off adrenaline, Like that's how you've run for the last fifteen years. Now that you've actually stopped one, you're training your body to feel safe to slow down. But like it kind of all catches up on you. Yeah, it
was like that's so true. Yeah, so yeah, it is okay to change your mind, get rid of that story that you have to stick it out because you really don't, and what are you sticking it out for?
What?
To prove a point to who, to mom and dad, to your social media following, to yourself for what. Yeah, you don't get a gold medal at the end of a million bucks saying congratulations you've finished. You only go done. You were unhappy for five years if you're life, but good on you for pushing through. It's like, nah, no, thank you. You want to get to your end your life and know that you chose yourself and chose happiness.
I want to show my kids too, that they can change their mind, Like I will constantly be encouraging my children if they do not feel happy, that they can switch up. Yeah, definitely. I hope they try a million different things to figure out what they love. Because even like the jobs you did when you were younger, like whether it was you know, I was a checkout girl for so many years. I love that. I love talking to people. I learned a lot, I gained valuable life skills,
like nobody want to do forever. But like imagine if I just was scared to try something else and stay there just to be safe. Definitely, like I'm so glad I've got to do everything I've got to do that's led me to be exactly where I am right now.
Yeah, and it does feel scary each time you change. Each has change.
A job no racking, yeah, and a relationship and the friendship yeah, so scary, so uncomfortable. But it's like that will choose your hard that's it. Is it harder to stay in a job or a relationship to you absolutely hate and it's making you miserable. It was it harder to be uncomfortable for the first initial period and then come out and like some change your life. Yeah, you have to be brave at the end of the day.
It is not easy to make those big calls. It really rattles your whole world, like you feel like you're in turbulence. Yeah, but it smooths out. It does hang on for the ride. PS. I want you to ask you how you can turn your pain into power, passion, or purpose. I really love p words. If you can't tell this is actually going to be when I usiness, sorry, well yeah I don't really killed my moments, so, oh my goodness. Funny backstory when I was coming up with
the name basline. Whenever I'm trying to come up with a new name. We call it a whiteboard meeting. Steve's come up with this and we'll get a whiteboard and just check up all words that like feel good to us, that we feel like would fit. And before I came out with the baseline, I wanted to have P four oh, and have four P words that I really really loved. Passion, purpose, power,
and persistence. Yeah, but then there was P nation that looked too similar, okay, and then my girlfriend Shane had an active red brand and hers was called I think P three, and then there was P something recovery around
the corner from me. I know, there was just too many p's, But before baseline, I wanted to call it P four active wear and then like those four words would be how I storytell and like just gave the brand so much like depth and so yeah, just I want you to ask yourself how you can really turn this difficult time into something amazing and how the darkness can be turned into light. I think through all about pain, we can find more purpose, more passion, be more empowered.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. PS Trauma says I have to over explain myself to be understood and accepted. He says, I'm learning to trust my own voice and be comfortable with being misunderstood. My value is not determined by others perceptions of me.
So good. That's a hard one. I've definitely been over explained in my whole life. Yeah, I feel like I don't Yeah, I don't understand. Or if I just tell them the details and they won't be angry. Yeah, Yeah, that's a tough one. That's a good one. It's good. Hay ye.
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