Welcome to, she persisted, I'm your host CD son. Every Friday. I post interviews about mental health, dialectical behavioral therapy and Teenage life. These episodes break down my mental health Journey. Teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase testimonials from individuals, including teens, just like you. Whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve your mental Fitness. This podcast is your inspiration to live a life, you love and keep persisting.
This week's. DBT skill is self-soothing. I feel like we could all use a little bit of self soothing in our Lives. Right now, this feels pretty straightforward. What you are doing, is you are soothing emotionally, using your five senses. So I'll give you some examples. So for touch, maybe you're like patting your talk or you're putting on a really comfy
blanket. And maybe you were getting a massage, getting your nails done taking a hot shower, all of those kinds of things for Taste. Maybe you are baking your favorite treat or you're drinking a relaxing tea. I'm having a smoothie things that are soothing and enjoyable for you for smell. Maybe your lighting your favorite All using your favorite lotion going outside and like smelling nature or you're drinking your favorite cup of
coffee for the smell. Also, for taste for hearing, maybe you're listening to music a podcast, a book, all of those kinds of things. Maybe you are really leaning into the quiet and unplugging independently being outside and just listening to The Sounds around you. Foresight you maybe are watching your favorite movie reading a book that you love people watching tons of different ideas
here. But whatever is soothing for you, one of my favorite tips for this is to beforehand come up with a list of what works for you. So that when you really need to self-soothe and self-care, you know, exactly like which candle to grab our which tea works for you and what movie to watch rather than being like. Okay, I need to know. I need to self-soothe right now but do I take a hot shower or do I take a cold shower? Do I go out? I do I stay inside. So figure out what works for you.
Make a list in your phone, on a piece of paper, whatever works and have that as your go-to for when you are feeling overwhelmed. Hello, hello, and welcome. Back to she persisted, I am out of quarantine, my voice is back. I'm so excited for this episode. Our Guest today is Fe o soltera. She is a mindset and manifestation coach and she also hosts a podcast called the Manifest at it.
This conversation goes, literally everywhere we talked about her journey overcoming childhood Emma, we talked about the coaching client relationship, we talk about manifesting and really breaking down. What that is, all these Buzz words, you've heard like angel numbers and all that kind of stuff that I know you've seen on Tick-Tock because I've seen it as well, we talked about misconceptions, the manifesting world we talk about
spirituality. We talk about how mental health and manifestation intersect, and really dive into subconscious programming. And then we also touched on how raised relates to manifesting. This is just such a good conversation and it's one of my favorites that I've done in a while. So, as always You enjoyed this week's episode, make sure to rate and review on Apple podcast and on Spotify share with a friend or family member.
And if you guys want to follow along with FES, she says it at the end, but her Instagram is at FES Holter. EFI ASU, lter underscore, same thing for tick, tock, and our website is FES Holter.com. So with that, let's dive in. Thank you so much for joining me today on. She persisted, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and to get into our discussion today as well. Yeah. So I want to hear your story.
I want to hear how you got to the point of doing the work that you are now and working in manifestation and and hosting a podcast and all of that. So, so talk to me about your journey. I think the thing about my journey is that are so many points that feel like beginning points, but it'll kind of like loops around, which I'm sure is the case for many people story. But for me, I think it really began in my childhood That I had a bit of a different upbringing
from other people. I was in the care system and I was adopted at age three and I had a really, really beautiful kind of normal issue as normal as your life can be as a kid growing up and I lived with My adoptive mother until I was 14 and which point she unfortunately passed away due to a long-term illness. And so really at that point, in fact, not even at the point that my mom passed away. But from as early, as 10 was, when my life really began to
change. Change because my mom was gradually declining and her help and they went from that position artists like being a normal kid and living a childhood to Growing Up incredibly quickly and inside of that we had also grown up Butters. So I feel like in many ways my childhood was different to the childhood of my peers. My mom was kind of spiritual had crystals around the house, they like dial-up, Tony Robbins compasses.
So for me, as an adult going into spirituality and becoming a manifestation coach Not that much of a reach. But it was, it definitely wasn't something that I always knew I was going to do. And I feel so many of the experiences I had in my own childhood and the importance of the people I had in my life, who mentored me outside of the traditional family roles, apparent roles had a huge impact on the person I am today. And so in the work that I do, I know the importance of people like that.
And I think something which is often not really sure I heard about the, what I find to be so beautiful about the coaching relationship. Up is that you can have friends. You can have family members but we don't always have entirely honest discussions with people and it's not because we don't love them that we're not having honest conversations but it's because we love them so much that we don't want to have an
honest conversation. And so when you hire a coach like I you're not paying me to be your best friend. Like I love you and I care about you and that's why we are going to have a relationship where I'm going to help you see what your blind spots are. And we may even have some difficult and challenging conversations inside of that. But that's because number one, that's what you're paying me for. Number two.
Like that is how we get that true growth is by Illuminating, what's in the blind spot so that we can fully become the most Integris version of ourselves. Yeah, I love that. And I think that's so true. And I think there's also something really beautiful about having like a third party that
you can go to once a week. Once a month, whatever it is, and really just like let things go and invent and get those emotions out, and then not have to like, not deal with the repercussions, but it's not like you are complaining to your mom and then every three Times. Three times a day. You see her. She's like, how's that situation going? Like I've already moved on, I wanted to talk about it once and then just continue on with my
life. So it's such an amazing thing to have someone that you can, it can talk to and open up with and get like professional support from Yeah, I totally agree and I love the example that he's there but it's true and you know, if you've ever thought about a friend and they're in a relationship and you're like, yeah he's a great and you know, they keep taking them back and you have to just be there and support them because that's what a friend is for.
So the relationship is different, although you may feel like you have that friendliness inside the relationship. Obviously, you don't want to work with someone that you don't like, but it's different and I think it's a beautiful thing. Totally. So manifestation is a huge buzz word right now. I feel like Tech talks on my for you page or talking about manifesting and goals, break it down for us. What does it mean to to manifest something? At a very basic level to
manifest? Something is to make something real, to make something tangible. So to take something from an idea to something that you can experience in your 3D reality. Something you can part something, you can see something that it's like, not just existing in your brain is the process of manifestation. So we're all manifesting all the time. I'm but as a manifestation coach, I'm helping people bring more of an awareness to their subconscious programming.
So that they can reprogram it to be more success. And I don't just mean success in, like, monetary or tangible outcomes, but also in the way that you feel and so our subconscious programming is so so important for the way that we live our lives and not enough people know about it and we you know if you've ever had this idea and you're like yes this way when I have this one attract and then you say all these things and you're like wait but why isn't it happening?
Is because Divide percent of your life is run by your subconscious programming. Your subconscious programming informs everything. And so for me inside of my work is very important for me to add some of the context and Nuance that's missing from the manifestations face which as you say on Tick-Tock. And by the way I'm also in Tick-Tock I love to talk. I'm on there all the time saying but there's only so much you can say in a three minute videos.
So it's very important to me that I am helping to empower people through the lens of like what manifestation is what manifestation isn't and adding that context back. To some phrases or some ideas that you're seeing online that their own just not quite fully though. Yeah, no, I think that's so true. Going to the subconscious belief systems and subconscious beliefs that people hold are there common ones?
That lots of people are operating by that are just creating huge blocks, or is it super subjective? And everyone is has different belief systems that they're utilizing. I think there were many common limiting beliefs mindset blocks that appear in different ways, but I don't want to only attribute it to beliefs because beliefs is just one small part of what your subconscious programming is. We also have your identity, we have your trauma, we have your lived experience.
And so obviously every person is completely different in that respect. But Justin limiting beliefs, I believe that there are there are many similar ones like fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what other people are going to think that we many people have. But they may present differently. Yeah. No, I I think that's true in it completely impacts how you're interacting with the world, what relationships? You're diving into what different career paths, or education paths, you're
pursuing? And I think that's very true. What are some different ways to manifest? I know there's probably endless different examples but are there common ones that you like to implement and use with clients? I think it depends on where they're at in their spiritual journey and what specifically they want to manifest. And so, I'll give you an example.
Yesterday, on Tick Tock, someone asked me for advice with manifesting custom friends know, like, can you give me some affirmations to manifest and Browns from like all? Yes, I could give you some affirmations to manifest and friends but also it depends like what your current mindset is around manifesting friends. Like I don't want to give you this like advice without context and so the advice I gave them
when it came to mind. Surround the rather than just like an affirmation, like I have friends. Now I have a friend group, which is probably not going to do much of that. Feels super far away for you right now was to think about the kind of relationships that they wanted to have into the script on and write on those kinds of relationships. And then most importantly is to take actions based off of those relationships.
And so when we talk about relationships, I think the piece that's often missing is like, yes be really clear on like the people that you want to try out and have in your life but also like are you nourishing yourself in those He's like, oh, I want a person who's going to this and there's nothing special with romantic relationships, like okay. But are you doing all of those things? Are you cooking for yourself or you treating yourself? Are you saying nice words and loving on yourself?
And we have to treat ourselves the way that we expect other people to treat us as well. And I'm not saying like, I don't believe you can't. No one's going to love you unless you love yourself, that kind of thing. I don't believe that but I believe it's important that we're not just external izing or needs to other people in that. We are fulfilling our selves. So when it comes to manifesting something, I think getting really clear on it. And then also noticing like, Okay.
Are the actions? I'm taking are actually aligned with that because if you're saying like, I want to manifest a new friend group, I want to have new friends, but you're not meeting people or you're not messaging people and asking them if they want to hang out then, not much just go champ. Yeah, totally, today's podcast episode is brought to you by nap pods. You guys have heard me talk about them before. I'm obsessed. I drink not pods every single morning in my iced coffee.
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use code. She persisted podcast at checkout for 15 percent off your order. Again, that is code. She persisted podcast at checkout for 15 percent off your order, using the link. In today's show notes. You mentioned that how people manifest kind of depends where they are at in their spiritual Journeys? What is the connection there between spirituality and manifest? Nation. I'd love to kind of learn more.
So, for me, manifestation is absolutely synonymous with spirituality because the relationship that you have with the universe and that's not to say that if you are Christian or any other religion, that is not going to work as well. Like, I think it's very personal to the individual.
But for me, the way that I practices is through the lens of spirituality in that part of the manifestation process is communicating with the university guides, your higher self angels to make the reality that you want to happen happen. And so why I said it depends where People are on their spiritual journey as because personally, I'm not of the belief that manifestation happens overnight.
And if you see someone saying like I might have something in 24 hours or instant manifestation, I think that it's important to say that we do the building blocks of mindset work. And once we've done those building blocks of mindset work, it may be quicker for some things to happen in that, it looks like something happened in 24 hours, but it's actually because, like, of all the groundwork that you've laid up
until that point. And so, it's like, when you hear people say, like when you're freelancing, Charge by the hour because you're not accounting for all the skills that you've learned. I've actually allowed you to now complete something quickly, and it's just the same for manifestation is like, so if your other Minds that you just getting beginning with mindset manifestation, where I can at the moment, your mindset is like it's really hard to manifest
things. I don't think I'm a very powerful powerful Manifesto if I just was like, okay yeah, here's your affirmation to manifest, your friends and you're still in the mindset of like it's going to be really hard and challenging then it's not going to change. Whereas if you were the mindset like yep, I know I'm a super powerful manifest error. I'm like, ready to take action on. Do I need to do?
I just need some affirmations to support me because I'm like feeling creatively challenged at the moment. That's a different story. Hmm, you mentioned angels. I feel like angel numbers are another thing that are blowing up right now. Walk me through those, what they mean, what they can symbolize and, and some common ways that those are implemented and either you like your daily life or your clients. So, there are so many angel numbers. I absolutely don't know.
Every single one of my heart may be on its own brother that but I will talk to you about science and so You see at University, I studied semiotic switch is the study of Science and I think a piece that isn't really talked about when it comes to signs is why I don't advocate for my clients to ask for signs. Either is because I believe when you ask for a sign your externalize, in your decision making process in, you're putting your power somewhere outside of yourself.
That's not to say that don't use signs, but the way that I encourage people to use them are different. So, instead of, if I meant to leave this relationship, Give Me A Sign. Or if this is the job for me, give me a sign. I encourage people to to use those signs as like nonce and confirmations that you're on the right path and those nods and confirmations are going to show
up differently. And so for me, when I'm manifesting money, a signal to me that I'm on track to hit my money goal is if I see money on the ground, it doesn't matter if it's $2 $1. If I see money on the ground, that's assigned to me that I'm on track with my money goals. Does that mean the same to everyone else? No, but I've chosen for that to be a sign that signals that to me. And so we get to choose like, okay this is going to Signal this to me, but Only call on
that. Like if I don't see the money on the ground and that means I'm not going to him. Go broke. Because markets. Yeah, exactly. That's just like a nice to me. Like, keep going on the right path. You know, that kind of like it's like a helpful presence rather than like I need this to know. Hmm.
So would you say that you'll numbers like, you are at first like talking to yourself and saying, okay, this is a signal that I will look for and then that's when it has meaning or is it. Not attached to setting it at intention initially. So with angel numbers, angel numbers already have, like, kind of more prescribed meanings than just like a random. I don't know. Whatever people uses signs like an animal or a guide, right? But angel numbers have more prescribed meetings.
So for example, 1111 is a signifier that whatever you're thinking about this moment. In time, your desires are manifesting quickly. So, to be aware of what you're thinking at that moment, I'm 333 is like this, change is coming. 555 your angels and your Masters are near you. So I don't, I don't ask to see those into numbers, but when I see them throughout the day, I'm like, oh okay, I'm been seeing
1111 lot. Recently, was I saying, okay, like have I been thinking things are conducive to what I want to manifest. So if you're seeing Angel numbers that can be like a okay, let me just look into this and see, like, what, what am I being called to? So it's more, like your angels are guiding you and your signs are a signifiers. You're on the right path. Yeah. Yeah. What are some common misconceptions that people hold about manifesting, and it's Into spirituality.
I think some common misconceptions are. I think there's two kinds of misconceptions. There's misconceptions that come from people who are very far removed from the space and are just like yeah. All of this is BAS and it just seems completely unrealistic and then we have also misconceptions that come from within this space and so I'll give you one of each. So misconception that might come from outside. The space is like it's BS. It doesn't work.
No, it's just not possible whereas, you know, manifestation is not just spirituality but it's Combination of spirituality science and strategy. So when we talk to people about like in the manifestations base, about rewiring your brain, that's not BS. There's like you're changing your neurological systems by repeating positive affirmations, or by doing the belief work. You are actually changing.
Not only the way that your brain works, but you can actually recode your DNA that way through epigenetics. And so that's on one side and then on the other side, for example, the expression, thoughts become things again. This is one of those things as kind of moss context. As it's going around the internet, and yes, thoughts do impact how you manifest? But they're not the only thing because they're just one small piece of your subconscious
programming. And your subconscious programming is also your beliefs traumas, identity, and so many other layers. So if you're just focusing on thoughts, what might happen is it can become disempowering because any time you have a negative thought you're like, oh no, it's going to manifest and for me as someone who experiences a different mental illnesses, one of those is like as a result of mine. I'll have intrusive thoughts.
If I thought, every time I had an interest with thought I know, I'm like, actually gonna grab a policeman's gun, and I'm gonna like, she's someone like, that's just not helpful to anyone. So, when we say, thoughts become things, I think the idea behind it is like, let's look at how a belief is formed. And if we go down to the core of how beliefs are formed, as through thoughts, thoughts, thinked, I don't know how to say it, but I thought I thought that you think numerous times, right?
And you really believe that to bats how it allows into belief and then when we have something that we're believing, so truly then it becomes more than a belief. It becomes part of your identity, right? So what were really saying is like just watch the trajectory
of your thoughts. If it's something that you are thinking of a repeated period of time, that's making you feel a certain type of way, that's what we want to have an awareness, but a negative thought in the day-to-day is certainly not going to ruin your life. Yeah, II. Think that's so interesting. And I really liked what you touched on there. Because I think there's definitely like a dialectic between Queen having negative thoughts and them not necessarily like, becoming a
huge part of your life. And then there's that, having those thoughts that then become beliefs, that then become part of your identity. And I think that's something that really holds true with mental health, a lot of different challenges, whether it's with depression, or self-esteem, or anxiety, come with believes that you are like, not wrong, but you, you're struggling. Like, that's a belief that you hold.
That's just part of your identity if it's like self-esteem, maybe it's that you're not good enough. Enough. I remember I was holding beliefs that I wasn't like good enough that I wasn't deserving of Love. That treatment wasn't going to work for me and I always go back to this moment when I started residential treatment and when one of my doctors asked me, he was like, do you want to be here? Do you believe this is going to work? And I was like, no, it's not
going to work. I've tried it before. Like I meant to be depressed, just how I am. And he was like okay that's great but that's not like you can be here for 14 weeks for Eight weeks, however, long enough things going to change. So I think it's going to shift and up until that point, I really had been living by the beliefs, and the identity that I was just a depressed person.
I was meant to be this way. This is what my life would always look like, and it was only once I shifted that that I did see the changes and in my lifestyle. So I would love to kind of hear your perspective on how those two things are connected manifestation, and mental health. I think that we can't have a conversation about manifestation without also having a conversation of Mental Health. Especially when it affects so
many people. And I think that meant just because you have mental illness, does not mean that you then can't manifest or any type of illness for that matter. But I think what we should be aware of is the way that it impacts the way that we manifest it obviously. And as I've someone who has also experienced depression, there can be, it can go two ways in one that can kind of give you hope and feel like you can change your situation, there's a
lot of change. And then another way, if maybe If I say I'm here about it and then you're also hearing like thoughts become things, you're thinking well, I'm screwed because like the way that I feel about myself right now is not conducive to light changing my reality. And so what I would say is, you know, obviously I'm not a mental health professional so so if you're listening to this, that's just my my disclaimer. And say yeah, yeah.
Is that to start with small things and know that it's possible for anyone to change their reality?
The possibilities of their you've been doing it all your life up until this point, maybe not necessarily consciously but you do have of the power and the ability to do that based on your lived experience based on your traumas but some people is certainly going to be. It may feel more challenging and I don't want to diminish the way that you feel right now and say that your struggles don't exist or that depression is just a mindset block because it isn't but through things like learning
how your subconscious mind works and how these thoughts have been informing your life and what you're actually sitting with
your identity. We can then do things like Shadow work to peel back the layers and even things like Therapy or working with a coach or working with whoever, even working with your guys, endorse whoever to peel back the layers and create an identity that meal feels more true for the person who not only the person that you want to be, but who you truly are underneath all those other things that build on top of it.
Yeah, I love that so much and I think there's something really powerful but having a goal to work towards and you mentioned kind of with the Friendship example writing down, what kinds of friends you want to have how you feel in your and chips what your interactions look like. I think that can be true for a lot of mental health things as well.
We get so stuck in our reality and we have our blinders on to what our experiences are like and can be really difficult to imagine how your reality could be different. So if you're really struggling, you're feeling depressed constantly, there's not a lot of things to look forward to spending time journaling and getting really clear on what you want your life to look like, what belief systems are. You living your life by? What are your daily activities
look like? How are your relationships making you feel? How do you feel? Cetera can be a goal to work towards and, and mental health is is a really vague abstract thing. It can be so difficult to navigate because it's not like there's an immediate easy and goal to be pursuing.
But having some clarity there and being like, okay, I feel I've made progress if I am feeling depressed, only three out of seven days a week, instead of 7 out of 7 or something like that, I think can be really powerful. And I think that is another way that manifestation and mental health can be / aligned, I also want to bring up the point that there are stages. There are levels to this, right?
And if you're a position right now where you feel depressed, you feel like the world is just trash and you just like are trying to get out of it for most people. They're not going to jump from feeling super depressed. Her I can manifest the like I am on top of it and know that.
That's okay you can go from everything as trash to Thing is okay, you can go from everything is okay to hey I'm starting to see the good moments you can go from him, starting to the good moment to mostly good moments actually some trash moments but mostly good moments and it's okay to like move through the levels rather than feeling like you need to go from 0 to 100 because you most people especially if you experience in mental illness, that's not realistic and it's just going to
make you feel worse about yourself. So rather than jumping from okay. Like and by the way like especially when you are experiencing depression for anxiety, may be slightly different. But especially when you're experiencing depression is like If not overwhelming yourself with like radical change because then you're just going to stay depressed and then feel worse about yourself and not changing
so quickly. So like small bite-sized manageable things are going to make you feel slightly better. It's actually better for the long run because it's going to compound and eventually change the way that you feel in a much more sustainable way because what we don't want to do is dip into the danger of dangerously High highs, and dangerously low lows and like swing between the pendulum of the to.
It's better to feel more neutral special if you're getting out an intense state of depression, By my opinion, it's better to feel more neutral than like feeling. Like if you're not in that high high, you're failing. And so for me I used to have this belief that all I wanted in my life.
I did a few things I wanted in my life after my mom passed away and I'd experienced a really intense period of grief during this time because not only had my mom passed away, but six months after that, my grandmother passed away and a year after that, my friend at school had passed away.
So, I'd seen around me was, like, death in grief, and because I had previously been in the care system that meant that my sister my brother and Why we became orphan because we didn't have any family left of that point. So all I wanted was to be normal and to be happy to be normal and to be happy. And so, when later my life, I began to realize I was experiencing depression. I felt really bad about myself because I wasn't feeling happy.
And so what I don't want to do is for anyone listening to this. Be like, well, if I'm not thinking positively, or if I'm not being happy, then I'm not going to create a life that I want. That's not true. We all have moments. And for some people, those moments may feel like they last longer, but Thing that always
helps me to feel really. Anchored is knowing that whether I'm in like crazy out of a world amazing moment or I'm in the like tragic, really sad moment is like this is a moment, this is not forever, this is not a lifetime and while we can visit the challenges, we can visit the difficult moments. We don't, we don't live there. And so in terms of building blocks, if you are in a challenging period right now, just think about like what is the minimum viable thing that
you could do? Is it like writing one thing that you're grateful about each day and Not just about like your external experience or like one thing that you love about yourself, or one thing that made you smile today, can you tomorrow? Make that two things, you know or can you meditate for five minutes and just finding small things to make your way of living better? And then you'll notice that you actually increase your capacity to hold more. Yeah yeah.
And I think The more conversations I have in the in the mental health, the wellness space, whatever. It is the more books I read, the more podcasts I listened to the bottom line is always seems to be consistency and it's those small goals that you can be consistent with that.
Make the biggest difference and I struggle with what you talked about is as well with setting these really big goals and then of course you fall short because they're not attainable, they're not possible to be consistent with and I had a therapist. One time told me it was a symptom of anxiety to That this really overwhelming crazy aspirations and struggle to meet them. And then you get in that headspace of being like, why am I not capable of meeting this
goal? I set one goal for myself and yet I can't do it. And yet that goal is unattainable, maybe it's not but you're struggling to get to that point. Doing a smaller goals, it can be kind of discouraging to think about your like okay, well I'm literally going to just do deep breathing for 30 seconds, a day like what anyone can do that, like why is that the goal I have
to set for myself. But if you can do that every single day, over a long period of time, Time that consistency is going to be so much more meaningful than meditating for 45 minutes once and then never doing it again. And so I think that's really really powerful and I think you said that really well. This week's episode is brought to you by saqqara. You guys have heard me talk about them before, saqqara is a nutrition company that focuses on overall, Wellness, starting with what you eat.
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Sakura.com and use codex. Oh, Sadie at checkout for 20% off your first order again, that is codec. So Sadie at checkout for 20% off your first order. Use the link in today's show notes. I would love to hear what some of the most common things people
want to manifest. Our, I think that kind of goes in line with getting out of our like blinders head space in our opening, Eyes to like what our lives can look like and getting inspiration from from other people's goals and aspirations money, purpose, love, I think are the top three and yeah I think inside of purpose, you know that might look like also business or Career Success or at least a deep sense of clarity in
those things as well. So I think for most people that it's about feeling more at home in themselves and then these other things are supporting the way that they want to feel. I love that and I think it just speaks to how subjective all of this is like what one person wants and what makes them feel great. Might not make you feel great. And so even creating the space to get clear on what your goals
are. Whether it's in relationship or purpose or financially, whatever those are, you're not only creating thoughts that eventually can turn into things but you are really getting clear in what that goal is and starting to to pursue it. I would love to kind of hear About the, I guess where the Divide would be, obviously, just like sitting and thinking about something doesn't necessarily mean that it will come to fruition.
There's something really powerful about getting clear on what your goal is, and wanting to call it into action because it kind of gives you a place to be oriented to your putting more Focus towards something than you would otherwise. But are your things that you say to your clients, like, okay, like what goals are we going to set or what different markers you going to try to meet to make this a less abstract process?
Definitely I think there needs to be a declared degree of clarity and certainty otherwise you don't know what you're working towards and then also how are you going to measure that you've actually made progress because we're actually making more progress than we realize? But if we're not setting, these kind of markers is difficult to
look back and see that. So I typically work with my clients inside a 12-month Mastermind and in that every single month we have an intention setting workshop. And within those intention setting workshops we are reflecting on the Month. And then we're intention setting for the month ahead. And there's a degree of clarity around that in that the goals that were saying, do have some
systems that up around them. But also people are not like locked in by this is the only things I'm going to do because all that I've written down or that you know life happens things change and if they don't get everything done that they said they were going to do is not like well that sucks like you Stark and you're rubbish. It's just like okay let's look at why this actually happened and what we're going to do
moving forward. So I for me, it's very important to make the process of manifestation flexible because everything is changing. All of the time. We're changing all the time and life changing all the time, external circuit starts the changing all the time. So we can't expect our process to be. Just like, oh, I'm going to manifest the thing, the same way, every single time because we have seasons just as life as
seasons. This might not be accurate whatsoever, but through this conversation manifestation feels, I'm understanding it as spiritual intentional very like insightful goal setting is that a complete misconception or we would you say that's kind of an aligned understanding of what it what it looks like. Yeah, definitely an alignment is
standing. I think, you know, whatever name people want to give to it is the name that empowers them most and if Station isn't quite resonating for you, but that's okay, but it really is about the process of bringing your dreams to life and and what tools resources and knowledge. Are you going to use to do that to bring your extraordinary Vision to life? I love that.
And I think that's really helpful for people to hear, especially we talked about those two camps of the people that are, like, on the outside versus on the inside. And I think on the outside, like, the most common things that I have heard, whether it's on social media, or with, with friends, and family is it's like, well, like that's not going to do anything. If you just sit and think about something, Or you're just calling something into action, but there's so much more to it than that.
It's changing, your thoughts, your beliefs, your identity. It's making these goals, it seeing the progress you've made. And I think this conversation Illustrated that very beautifully and really brought a lot of clarity there that there's so much Nuance that goes into this process. Yeah. Totally, you know that I have one final question which is are there things people that you
see? I mean Tick Tock, again, the biggest forms of of information if you looks like where people are saying things are manifesting, but they're just like so off base and you're like, that's not what you're doing, that's not what's happening. I can't say that I've ever particularly come across. That what I will say though is, like, we do need to look at the lens of privilege that someone's coming from. So, if someone saying like, yeah, this was really easy for
me to Manifest this. We also need to be aware of, like, okay, what were the systems that allowed them to manifest it so easily. So if you are beating yourself up around things and then you're seeing someone who's coming from, you know, maybe are privileged Able Body background. Then of course there may be Things that make it easier for them, but just because it's easier for them does not mean that it's not possible for you to.
And so when I talk about things like spiritual bypassing and conversations around race and manifestation as well, it's like these things exist. And it, you know, we can't just say like, oh well, you know, it's not spiritual to talk about these harder issues because it's absolutely spiritual to look at what we are experiencing as Souls on this planet right now in this moment, right? We can't just say, like it's not
spiritual too. About and just bypass very real experiences for people or kind of diminish. Someone struggles, right? That's not fair and it's not right? But just because we have struggles and challenges does not mean that it's not also possible for us. And so I, you know, I do have privileges within my own life, despite the fact that I did grow up in care, and I had a challenging upbringing, I'm very lucky now to like live somewhere.
That's really beautiful and to have enough money to do the things I want to do in life was not always. Ways that way for me. And if I'd have just looked at the situation that I had in the cards hand of cards cards for pants, the hand I was dealt the hand, I was dealt, it would have been very easy for me to say, well like this is it and things are going to be a struggle. Things are going to be more challenging, but I acknowledge that things.
Some things were potentially going to be more challenging for me and other people. And I also a manifesting, my reality, it's not an either or situation, I think that's huge and I think that's a big nuanced. A lot of the time gets lost and this again.
It's a buzzword, it's becoming a catch-all for many different forms of goal, setting and goal pursuing, and, and reaching your dreams, and all of these things, and we lose the insight into the process and how people got to that end goal, and we're all at
those different starting points. And so, I think that is something that's really, really important to remember and to remind yourself especially when you're viewing other people's Journeys, in any aspect of life, you mentioned in that the intersection of race and manifestation I would love to hear your thoughts on that. I know I said last question but now my interest has been piqued. How do you? How do you see those two intersecting?
So, as I mentioned earlier that so much of our manifestation prisons about 95% of the process is informed by our subconscious programming. And part of the subconscious programming is maybe some individual thoughts that we have but also Collective thoughts that we have. So when you have things like internalized, oppression at play, you can't just say to a person of color or a black person like that. Yeah, I don't think that's like
a real privilege. Well, I think that's just a mindset blog you have when it's actually societies block that has been enforced upon you and so to undo those layers, not only of internalized, oppression, but also generational trauma and what your ancestors are gone through the ancestral trauma. That is like deep powerful work. And sometimes, you know, you can't just throw like, oh, I'm
just going to say this thing. One time, I'm just going to do this practice to do animation every day and it's all gonna go. Yeah because like I believe like affirmations there are hugely powerful. Powerful tool, but we also need to be making sure that we are going to the layers below just saying something, on the surface level, which is why I love things like hypnosis because that really gets to the root of much deeper issues. And so, yeah, inside of the race
in manifestation piece. I know a lot of people will say, well, oh, manifestation is only for privileged white people and that simply isn't true, but because that maybe typically, the people that we're seeing online than we feel, like if you don't see someone who looks like you, you wonder if the space is for you, but this space, For everyone. And if you don't see someone who looks like, you know that you
are welcome always. And that just because you don't see someone who looks like you doesn't mean it isn't possible for you even though there may be some additional challenges that
you face. Yeah. And I think that goes back to kind of helping how you frame it mentally that works for you, like, for me thinking of it as goal-setting, I'm like every single person ever has set a goal like it has achieved a goal that they've set whether it's to get out of bed in the morning, or to go to School today and that can make it feel more accessible and reachable and
possible intangible. And so I think the like education and curiosity and framing internally can also be be helpful with that, but I think that's something that's very true. And I think a lot of the ways in which it's being portrayed on social media right now adds to
that narrative as well. I think this conversation is going to be so helpful for so many people and just provide so much insight and Clarity on on goal setting and and how our thoughts and emotions and beliefs can impact Realities, which is something that's hugely relevant to mental health. If people want to continue to consume your content work with you Etc, where can they find you? So on Instagram and Tick Tock, I am at FES Delta underscore.
I have a podcast, the Manifest edit podcast and I also have a free training on the power of subconscious manifestation where I'm breaking down house of conscious manifestation actually works and kind of the different roles that your conscious and subconscious mind play Within that that will really Lee, add some color to the way that you manifest and help that whole process. Be so much more streamlined, which you can check out by heading to a fierce ulta.com
4/3, be awesome. Well, all of that will be in today's show notes. And in social media, when I share this episode, but thank you again, for coming on. She persisted and thank you for having me. Of course, to recap, this week's episode Fe and I drove deep into her journey of overcoming. Childhood trauma of being orphaned, we talked about the value of the coach client.
Chip. We talked about exactly what manifestation is. We went deep here and talked about all the different misconceptions and buzzwords. You've seen floating around the internet, like angel numbers signs overnight, manifesting, all of that kind of stuff. We talked about the importance of subconscious programming. How mental health, and manifestation, interact and how race relates to manifesting. And so much more.
If you enjoyed this week's episode, please be sure to leave a review on Apple podcast and Spotify make sure that you are subscribed so that you don't miss any upcoming episodes. Thus Odes. And if you share on social media, tag me at a cheaper assisted podcast. And I will make sure to repost and give you a little shout out. So with that, thank you for listening and I'll see you next week.