Welcome to she persisted I'm your host Sadie Saxton a 19 year old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. She persisted is the Teen Mental Health podcast made for teenagers by a team in each episode. I'll bring you authentic accessible and relatable conversations about every aspect of mental Wellness. You can expect evidence-based, Tina, proof resources, coping skills, including lots of DBT,
insights and education. In each piece of content, you consume, she persisted It offers you a safe space to feel validated and understood in your struggle. While encouraging you to take ownership of your journey and build your life worth living. So let's dive in this week on. She persisted I'm definitely in the thick of college pressure. My advice is really just be the best applicant you can be.
Don't try to beat the other people, try to be the best version of you make yourself stand out and just instead of looking at whatever in else is doing just do what you like. Do go deep into that, do great things with it and that's what's going to help you. The most a lot of parents are so caught up in the comparison. Don't worry about that. Worry about making your kid the best applicant, they can be hello. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of she persisted.
I am so excited because I have a fellow Teen Mental Health Advocate on the show today. You guys know that I love having other teenagers on she persisted because that's where I started. She persisted. I wanted it to be. A resource for teens made by a teenager and this conversation is the perfect representation of that. So today's guest is that Gottlieb, he is the sixteen-year-old founder of talk with Zach, a gen Z movement and
community. That hosts important conversations to change the culture Inspire activism and make the world a better place. Before we get into this episode. I wanted to say a huge, thank you because as I'm recording it is Spotify wrapped day and if you didn't know, Casters get a Spotify wrapped of their own to learn about listeners and I you
guys killed it this year. This is not me, this is you guys you guys listened from 70 countries, you guys listened a hundred and sixty-two percent more hours this year, which is wild. I released over one point seven thousand minutes of this podcast. I hope that no one listened to all of that but really exciting. Stat. And 39 episodes came out this year. Which It is insane. Additionally, she persisted was the top podcast for 176 Spotify,
listeners. It was in the top five for 632 listeners and in the top ten for 970. So if any of those is you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So it really does mean the world and she persisted was in the top 5% of the most shared podcast globally. So let's add on to that. For this next year make sure to share today's episode with a Family member, if you find it helpful, as always, if you share on social media already, posted it. Give you a little shout out.
But yeah, I just am so grateful for you guys. I had no listeners at the beginning of this. I've said this many times, my first month was like, 24 listeners, and that was literally all me. Reloading, I built this from your listeners without an audience, and I'm just so grateful for every single one of you that is listened and beyond that. I just hope this is helpful for you.
And I hope that this show in addition is I mean that I'm so passionate about and that gives me so much purpose and pride. I really do hope it's valuable for you on your journey with your mental health. So without little heartfelt moment. We're going to dive into this week's episode with Zack. We talk all things stress and finals and all different things that teenagers navigate. We talked about his own experience. We talk about male mental health, anything and everything.
You can imagine that teenagers are dealing with we dive into it in this episode, so I hope you find it helpful. Let's dive in. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Zak. I'm so excited to have you on, she persisted. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited to do this, of course. So I wanted to start with talking about teen male mental health. Specifically, it's a topic that I haven't been able to shed a ton of light on. I've talked to, a couple of people about how nicotine use
can impact mental health. I've talked a little bit to adults that have gone through mental health challenges as a teenager and how toxic masculinity and things can impact. That. But I really wanted to get your perspective as someone who's currently navigating the challenges of being a teenager, high school, college, applications, all of that kind of stuff about what it's like to do that as a male. Because, obviously, there's so much societal conditioning that
we receive. There's a lot of different things that the research shows about how that impacts males. Whether it's suicide rates, whether it's rates of depression, which is really interesting. If listeners aren't familiar, the rate of depression in teenage girls is higher, but the rate of suicide and Else is higher. So, there's this kind of juxtaposition that both are really struggling, but it seems
like females are vocalizing. It more, they're more condition to advocate for those, not even Advocate, but just speak about those emotions. They're more likely to talk to their friends about the challenges, they're going through. So what is that? Like, have you experienced those differences? Have you found it difficult to talk about mental health. What has that been like in your experience? Sure. I am not surprised by those
statistics at all. Because I've noticed that That one thing that separates males and females is that females are a lot more likely to talk about what they feel and share it, whereas men, I mean, it's so rooted in our culture that men are supposed to be more stoic. So it makes sense that they just bought up their feelings. Then, as you can see, it just leads to a much worse result when you hold everything inside,
in terms of my own experience. Like way beginning of covid, my grandfather who was really close with passed away and What happened to the message that I got was be strong? Like you could get through this, you're tough. And it wasn't like, I don't really have the room to talk about what I felt necessarily. Where is the women in my family? Were given a lot more leeway in terms of expressing their
emotions. And that's when it really hit me that, it's very different for men and how they deal with anything, whether it's grief, whether it's something smaller. And I've noticed that a lot of my friends don't really talk
about their emotions a lot. A lot of my male friends at least, where's my female friends open up a lot more and are more comfortable doing so. So I've definitely noticed this and I think that it is really harmful, not only for men, but also for females because when we have this culture, it's like only one gender group can really Express themselves. And I think it's difficult because when you're talking to men, you never really know if they're just saying their final.
Arthur actually find in a relationship. It's difficult, whether it's romance romantic relationship or a friendship. And I think that if this doesn't change it just going to be worse and the suicide rates are going to go up. I just feel like bottling. Your feelings is one of the worst things you can do. But the thing is, it's very difficult for men. Not to do that because of what the culture dictates. Yeah, it's also interesting to think about the relationship
type. Gimmicks, like you mentioned, if one person is always expressing emotions, or has more experience, handling, someone else's emotions, and someone just doesn't have that skill set, it creates a complete power and balance. Almost makes it very difficult for both. Emotional needs to get met. Do you think that we're seeing a shift towards males? Speaking more about their mental health challenges and emotions.
I feel like at least on Tick-Tock I'm seeing more Mill creators talk about these challenges, but it also just feel like the adult demographic and not yet teenagers. But I'd love to hear your thoughts there. Yeah, I've also seen that I have seen some teams open up on Tick-Tock. Oh, awesome LTS, which is very nice to see. Very few people are doing it, but I'm really glad that it's happening because I feel like a couple years ago, you just never see that.
So I feel like we're in the right direction. We just need to continue on this path. I've noticed that Mel vulnerability has become increasingly talked about and increasingly modeled by high-profile people. I think that's really good, but I think we need to continue with this and really I think for my generation Tick-Tock is one of the best places. So I think promoting it, they're making videos of content creators, just share and be vulnerable.
I think that can really help because it's one thing to say to be vulnerable. And another thing to actually model, what it's like, To be vulnerable and putting yourself out there, what can people within the community and life of someone that is trying to be more vulnerable, trying to express these emotions do to be helpful.
I'm thinking of what's not helpful with parents being way over the top, like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy that you're expressing this emotion, you are so safe and then the opposite of just not acknowledging it at all. What has been helpful for you or for friends of yours or people that you've seen in the mental health space? Obviously something in the middle there, I mean I feel like so many people are over playing it and being like, Oh my God,
this is so amazing. And it just so overblown that it I feel like it almost turns off people. Yes. No. I think meeting somewhere in the middle being open and receptive to what they're saying. Instead of being like, Oh my God, you're being vulnerable. This is amazing. It's like listen and act like it's a normal thing because if we just make it all over the top, it's going to seem like this weird new thing instead of something that were trying to
normalize. So I think my tip for that is just listen and be there and be open to what they have to say and respond and you know, II think it's a really special thing of someone opens up to you. So just meet them in the middle. Absolutely. And it's a very achievable thing to do to just create space for someone else's emotions. You don't have to stress out about saying the exact right thing back. Just treat it like normal, continue the relationship.
So I think that's a great tip. You have created this amazing Community where you answer so many Audience questions about Teen Mental Health struggles challenges. Whether it's school or relationships, or college applications, all of these different things. So I love to hear from you what, your top stressors challenges that you're seeing in your audience that teens are facing. I think it really depends on the time like a few weeks ago or
about a month ago. Now we were in the midst of the finals so then it was really academic. Stress is all the rage. Now, over the summer, I Think it's a lot more of relationship pressure whether it's a breakup or social with friends and social media is always, it's just a chronic source of pressure and anxiety.
So I think those are some of the big ones and then there are other things that I've talked about like, grief addiction, gender identity, and racism, and just things like that, that are consistent as well. Absolutely. And especially, with the news landscape, those things are always being brought out those emotions are consistently very
raw, so very relevant topics. So I'd love to dive into a couple of those topics and give input and advice on how teenagers can navigate those kind of model that vulnerability as we just talked about. Let's start with relationships will dive into social media after that and then cover a couple more topics on relationships. What are you seeing? What are the most common concerns that are coming up and then what advice are you giving
to your audience? So, in terms of relationships, I'm getting both, platonic and romantic relationships. I think both of them are really important and I'll just start with atomic. So I think the main things that are coming up at like, oh I'm becoming a little more distant from my friends over the summer, and I think the main thing for that is just keep in contact and understand that it happens to literally everyone. It just natural people go.
Places people do things. So I think just knowing that, that's what happens over the summer. And also just keep in contact, send them a tick tock, I don't know, like text them, whatever, just something like that and then the other thing is more personal and specific relationship things. And I think the number one thing that's important. I mean this can go for either romantic or just friends. But communication is so key.
If people don't communicate you just never get to know what the issue is so communicate just so you feel if you don't like something voice it out, it's not going to hurt the other. Person. If you do in a respectful way, and then romantic relationships, actually did a post. I don't know. This is coming out of the post about breakups today because I got a blog post about it actually, and they can be really tough. But I think the important things to remember are just don't over
analyze, what happened? Don't stress about it. Take some space, get away from wherever you were without person. And just focus on yourself, focus on moving past, it's going to hurt for a little bit. You not going to be over her. In a day, if it was a meaningful relationship or him or if ever you're attracted to was thinking of me. But, yeah, I think those are the main points for that. And then again, I've gotten some when people are still in a relationship.
Again, communication is really important. I just feel like a lot of times, people are scared to sort of move forward, and I think the number one thing for that, which is being on the same page and talking about where both of you are are you seeing people anxious nervous? I'm sorry. About how relationships friends, and romantic will change. When you go to college or graduate high school and experience that transition? Yeah, I definitely have people worried about that.
I got a question though. This girl wrote and she's like, my boyfriend and I are both graduating from high school, and I'm just a little worried about that. So I think it really depends. I mean, personally, I think that long distance when you're starting college is a super
difficult. Yeah. But I mean, by all means if you're willing to To do that in your in so decision, both of you are happy with, by all means, do it. And I just feel like knowing that almost all relationships just, and when people go to college is just something really important to keep in mind. And then another thing, in terms of friends, keeping in contact is just really key their tax, each other check-in, just build
those relationships. And, you know, if it's summer break, winter break whenever I mean, your home, a lot in college, you know, there are Of break. So you could definitely see each other. Then it's not the same. I'm not saying it's the same. I'm just saying there are more opportunities than a lot of
people think. I've also found that relationships at home, whether its family or friends, from high school can be so helpful in getting support venting, improving your mental health, because in college in most cases your meeting an entire new set of people. You're still building those relationships. So to also try and lean on those people for mental health support. When your Struggling can be a little bit difficult because the foundation might not be there.
And so I think it's a another good reminder that you can lean on those High School relationships, you can call befriend and vent about final stress or this friend, you're getting in an argument with a roommate troubles or whatever it is or call a parrot and be like this is the worst week ever. I'm so stressed out because that Foundation is there.
Those people care about you, they love you and they want to hear from you and even though you're not living at home anymore even though you're not seeing each other every day. It In that they still don't want to support you or that they're not worried about you or wanting to see you succeed. And so that was something that I think I almost forgot at the beginning of college. And then once I remembered, it was just such a nice thing to know, like no matter what
happens. I have these amazing relationships that I've already built and I can lean on those for support while I'm still continuing to build these new friendships and get to know this new group of people. Yeah, I think that's a great strategy especially if you're hearing from people who are at college with you. Cuz it's giving you a different perspective and it's adding new information in a, new way of thinking, of the situation. And also, just having that support from someone that you
feel that comfortable with. I just feel like separating yourself Talking someone. That's not where you are and just make up all the different. So, yeah, thanks for bringing that up. Yeah. I think another thing, I love what you said about different perspectives, and it's funny because I feel like, what I noticed with my friends and I, we would like, share the highlight reels of what was going on in college.
And whenever we would laugh, Really talk and catch up on what was going on. We were all feeling the same way. We were like, this is exhausting. We miss our high school friends. We still haven't found our groups yet and we will at some point, but this is just overwhelming and new and things aren't as perfect as they might seem from the outside. And so, I think that's a really great thing that you're all
navigating. This new experience at the same time, you're all awkward, new freshman kind of in this new landscape with new challenges you've never experienced before. And so even though you might Might be on different sides of the country are with completely different people in different Majors. A lot of these experiences are Universal and a lot of them are very relatable and have the same emotions come up for lots of people.
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think whatever College you go to for a big score, small school. It's still the same things you're dealing with. Its meeting all new people college is stressful academic bathrooms? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The living is different. Yeah, you're away from home. And yeah, I just feel like having that support And knowing you're not alone, not just at your college, but everywhere is really important. Today's episode is brought to you by teen counseling.
Teen counseling is better helps branch of their online Therapy Program. They have over 14,000 licensed therapist within their Network offering support on things like depression, anxiety, relationships, trauma, and so much more so many challenges that Zack.
And I discussed in this episode can be beneficial to work with a therapist on and what I've navigated, many of these things I've worked with best therapy is a great resource to have in your tool kit to have support during your teenage years because teens are the most vulnerable population when it comes to mental health, fifty percent of mental health, challenges are established by age, 14 and 75% by age 24.
So if there is ever a time to get support and make sure that you have the skills in your toolkit to navigate mental health challenges. It's now so with that, if you guys would like to find a therapist and do therapy virtually A great option. If you don't have a therapist near you or there's a long waiting lists or referral periods teen counseling is a great option. They offer text talk and video counseling all from your home.
So depending on what level of support you are looking for, they meet you where you are at, so you can head to teen counseling.com. She persisted to find a therapist that fits your needs today. Again that is teen counseling.com. She, persisted also relating to relationships parents, Dynamics conflict there. What are people most concerned about. Is it improving relationships with parents? Is it trying to be more vulnerable than building trust? Is it conflict?
That's coming up. What are you seeing in your community? Yes, I got a lot of questions about parents also got questions from parents asking about how to help their teams, which is kind of funny, right? Sending. So many questions. Yes, and it's kind of funny, but all the parents listening, well, answer all your questions. I love getting But it's funny that they're always reaching out and it's not the Tina's much.
Yeah, I know. It is really funny and I think what that come with and the reason for that is they really care about their teens. They want to do everything to help them, to lead them, to a successful life, and you've never noticed before, they're looking for all the help, they can get an object. So there's no manual. So it totally makes sense. They should really make like, a parent guide book, and there are so many books on parenting. There are so many books. Splice the next.
I really yeah, like an official Bible. Yes, like that. Yeah I don't know, everyone follows that would be amazing. But anyway, I think the main things that parents are writing in about or how do I get my team to open up? Yeah, I think I mean the strategy that I've noticed works, the best is just creating a space where your team feels comfortable coming to you and a space where you're not going to overreact. I feel like so many teens are nervous to come to their
parents. Like on the be punished or they're going to go crazy and they're not really going to listen to me. And I feel like so many parents are actually guilty of this. I feel like they're so quick to blame their teens and I think what they have to realize is this is a learning process. This is an age where we do things that were not necessarily the most proud of, you know, and I think that allowing them to come to you is just a really,
really good idea. Yeah. And I think treating like every little vulnerability that they share with you whether it's I don't know, a teacher that they don't like at school or stress. They're experiencing or they've gone through a breakup treating that as if it's this big crisis that they need a lot of validation and support on so then they know exactly what to expect if they really need your support the you know that you'll be validating, they'll know
that. You'll listen, you won't judge that you care about them that you'll give them advice if they want it or they'll just be there to support you if that's what you need. And yeah, so that your building that relationship Up your building that foundation and the teens. Not like, what would happen if I shared an emotion with my parents because they've know what happened. It's just on a bigger scale. They really need that support. Yeah, yeah. I understand. Great that.
And then on the other end for teens that are writing in about parents, a lot of it is just dealing with overbearing parents. Yeah, because parents, my mom is as well, it's so common, it's so so common, especially now it's crazy. And for college, oh my God. I yes, you can. It's it's insane. But I think my strategy for that is to just set boundaries and be vocal about what you need from them.
And I think parents need to understand that this approach, it's just not effective as they think there are things out there. Kids need to do, but if you control and micromanage every aspect of their lives, not only will not help them be a successful applicant for college. But also, Prepare them for Life.
Another thing is Parents. Try to force their kids sometimes to do certain activities and I think this is really detrimental, because if the teen isn't actually passionate about whatever it is, it's not, I mean like the parents, having them, do it for college, reasons for the resume, but if they're not actually passionate about it, it's not
going to do much. And I feel like a lot of parents won't they sort of dissuade their teens from doing things that That are less mainstream but they should know that that actually looks really good. So yeah, let your teen pursue their passion, it'll help them for college to help them for Life. Take a step back. And if just be there for support, don't don't try to incriminate on every aspect of their life because sometimes it
can feel like that. Yeah. And I think teens do get burnt out, that's very possible, even though they're young the schedule that they're keeping up with and the commitments, their balancing are really intense and so, I think it's important to be mindful of that and your teen and as a teenager being mindful of those signs of like not being interested in what you're doing feeling exhausted, feeling
overwhelmed, wishing you. Had a break from all these commitments, because it's a very real thing. And it can be really detrimental to these bigger goals. That probably both you as a teen and your parents are pursuing whether that's college or career or larger passions. Yeah, exactly cool. Okay. So, social media, another huge topic that everyone Wants to talk about because the data does show that social media is detrimental to mental health, it decreases self-esteem.
It increases body image issues and we're spending more time on it than ever before. What are the most common concerns that teens are bringing up? Is it social media addiction? Is it self esteem? Is that confidence? Is it procrastination? What are people worried about? Yeah, I I think that's all of
those. Some of the big ones are really addiction because, I mean, if you're on Tick Tock that are just Endless videos on your page and you could just get sucked right in and those videos do not help when you're like, you've been scrolling on Tick-Tock for a long time. Want to take a break? Oh my God just strong. I'm just like, no, I'm just going to scroll past.
Yeah yeah. So so it can be so trapping and sometimes I'll be like, you know, I'm gonna take a quick break and be on Tick, Tock for a few minutes and then it'll be a couple hours and I just don't know where that time. Lat Instagram, same thing on Instagram. I've noticed a lot of comparison and body image and lifestyle
comparison as well. And that really affects self-esteem and confidence and I think that is really really detrimental because what a lot of people are missing is that you don't see any of the bad pictures. Do you have any pictures people take to find the right? Like how many pictures we didn't take when they're laying in bed or procrastinate? Oh yeah, exactly. Yeah. No One's Gonna pose.
I'm in bed doing homework. And I know they're going to post on there at a party or they're hanging out with friends doing something cool or they're traveling and I think that jealousy factor is just really hurtful for a lot of people to see. Yeah, I think another thing too to add here is that the algorithm is really good. It will listen to you. So if you decide to be intentional and decide to be a critical consumer with your Instagram feed and you're like, I know these creators aren't
supporting my mental health. I know that these friends, even though I love them are making me have negative thoughts, you can mute people, you couldn't. Follow you can block and you can start consuming more content that is good for your mental health. And my favorite example of this is that my explore feed on Instagram, is all puppy videos and nail videos because those are what make me happy and it's what I go on Instagram to consume. Its loading, here are my copy and nail videos.
It's true. So you can make social media place that does improve your mental health, even if it's just sprinkling and nice quotes or videos, is that make you happy or funny creators? I think it's very possible to alter that consumer experience, but you have to decide to be intentional about that. And you have to be mindful about what? Emotions come up when you're scrolling on Instagram or Tick, Tock, or these other platforms.
So I'm going to funny to adhere. I saw a tick tock a while ago where it was like the most toxic social media platform without a doubt is LinkedIn. That is definitely true since that's kind of bad. LinkedIn is terrible. Yeah, I think that's A very underrated comment.
I think that just what people put on there is insane, especially for teens, I mean, with this culture, there are people in eighth grade with stacked resumes, on LinkedIn and this is volunteered one-time, oversaw and curated just it's,
it's insane. Yes, it really is, it's over the top, there was this one kid that went to my school and he worked at Starbucks as a barista and he put in this LinkedIn he was like I can't remember the exact language managing My partner overseeing customer relations and mentioned, and he just made coffees and it was like, can we have to check back here because this is not accurate? Yeah, I know it's mean people
just put anything on there. I mean, they just spin whatever it is they did and especially with college applications. It makes you feel so insecure about yourself as well. Because, you know, you're showing these ways that you've invested your time and you're like, did I not invest my time, right? Did I not do enough? Where did I go wrong? And then there's not Anything you can do to change that. So what is your advice for teenagers that are in the college application process?
Whether that's SATs act essay, writing touring schools? I know you're in the thick of that right now. So I'd love to hear your thoughts. Yes. So I'm going to my junior year of high school so I'm not gonna be picking my school's until about Midway through but I don't think you the school said I was going to actually be applying to until right before I submitted my application. So I'm very impressed that that's your timeline. Yeah, I think that's what.
My school wants us to start thinking about that, but I'm definitely in the thick of college pressure. It's very, very tangible my school. It's extremely competitive and I think that I mean, it's competitive everywhere, honestly, but I definitely feel this in my advice is really just be the best applicant. You can be don't try to be the other people try to be the best version of you make yourself stand out and just instead of looking at whatever in else is doing just do.
What you like to do, go deep into that, do great things with it and that's what's going to help you the most. It's not going to help if you're like, oh, this person is taking this class and even though I'm not interested in the subject, I need to take the same class to compete. It's just not going to help you. So I think a lot of parents are so caught up in the comparison. Don't worry about that. Worry about making your kid the best applicant, they can be.
Yeah, and it's also so hard because when it comes down to it, you are competing against your classmates. Your friends. Because if they're looking at applicants from all around the country, even if there's 12 qualified applicants from your school, they would never admit 12 students from one school and one town are going to choose one or two. And so, it's very difficult to
wrap your mind around. It's really not something that you've probably experienced before, and there's so much societal pressure associated with this. We're getting this messaging that you don't get into a good college. You're not going to get a good job and then you won't be able to support a family and blah blah blah. There's this I think assumption that all these teams are making, which is if you don't go to one of those schools, you're not going to be successful.
It's such a terrible - especially. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because only like five people from each school or going to those schools and roughly. I don't know, maybe a little bit more, but it really depends on the year. Last year, super competitive here, it was insane. But anyway, there's so many ways to be successful. And going to one of those schools helps, but it doesn't make you successful. You could go to one of those schools and not be a successful.
There is someone that's ranked last in the class at all of these schools. Exactly. And it's the amount of effort you put in at how passionate you are about, the subjects that you're pursuing and and it's not about the school. And I know it sucks to hear that because you're like, well, I want to go to this good school instead of this other school or whatever it is that you're thinking, because that is again, what we're told.
But look up different individuals who went to smaller schools who The, the recent lawyer that was on, Johnny Depp's case Camila Vasquez, she didn't go to a crazy, big law school, she did go to USC for undergrad. I will say that but the schools that you go to the ones, you decide to pursue aren't going to make or break it your future, your career. What you decide to do. Once you get to that school is really what's going to make a
difference. If you are a parent or someone, that's friend of someone, that's going through this process, don't ask them where they want to go to school. I know it's really hard. I asked my sister all the time and she's like I have no idea Sadie. You want to know your nosy, but asking someone and Cecily, like where do you want to go to school? What's your score? What's your reach school? It just adds a lot of anxiety and it's very vulnerable like
yes. You're applying and risking rejection from the school, but telling all these people and then knowing that you might not get in and they'll all know is something that's really scary and it's completely the teens choice if they want to share those dream schools or not. Yeah. So I have Some friends that are rising seniors right now and a lot of them are just like I'm not going to talk about where I'm applying what I'm gonna do.
Yeah, I think that's a great idea because imagine if you're like oh I really want to go to this school and then when the decisions come out everyone's going to be asking about and it can be really hurtful that's a rejection or a waitlist or mean, you know what, whatever it is? Yeah, referral whatever. So yeah, I just feel like keeping it to yourself, it's
just a great strategy. I mean, maybe you tell one, or Two close friends to have a support system but by no means is anyone's business to be super public about it. Yeah, 100%. And I did the opposite. I definitely was pretty transparent about where I was applying, and it was mostly because I just didn't think I was going to get in my whole thing with the podcast is
vulnerability. And I talked about these emotions and if I get rejected, I want to talk about what that experience was like, and what worked, and what didn't? And I'm looking back and like, I think I manifested it, I spoke it into Existence, I'm like this is where I'm applying but I had so many friends that chose not to do that and it was a really effective boundary to set for them and it allowed them to process those emotions without getting 50 tax.
Being like did you get rejected? What's the decision? What's happening? This person got in. Did you get in? Because it's just so exciti provoking. Yeah, yeah it really is. And I think going back to us saying about social media and comparison comparing the school's you got into are the scores, you got, are your grades. Are you actually? Eric regulars, it is so detrimental. So just avoid doing it. And the thing to remember is it's a toss-up, it really is.
If you didn't get into your first choice school maybe last year, you would have maybe next year, you would have. It really depends. Maybe your reader was having a bad day, you've no idea. There's so many things out of your control that you really just shouldn't get caught up in it. And I've heard of so many people just their self-esteem being ruined by the decision, don't
let it ruin you. Because again, there's so many things out of her control, it is crazy competitive, and you shouldn't base, how you view yourself? How much confidence do you have? In yourself on a decision that you only have so much control over? Yeah. And like when you put it into context, how they're building these classes, it's like what percentage the admissions Lotsa already earmarked for athletes. And people that are recruited to fill up these teams.
And what percentage of people, I don't know our quadruple legacies or Things like that. So donated a building or whatever. Exactly. And like, we all saw the cold College admission Scandal like those slots were going to different people. And then there's everyone in the entire country is applying and there's this whole range of scores and different extracurriculars. And what if one person had a crazy recommendation, all of these things are factors that
you can't control. And so even though you are submitting this portfolio, that feels like everything that's good about you. And the best of the best parts of yourself, it's not a reflection of you and there's so much More that goes into that decision.
Yeah, exactly. I think that's so important to remember in college, is honestly, one of the most stressful things that I've heard teams do it with 100% Fiat last thing that I want to touch on. Before you wrap up is navigating big emotions and life changes things like grief, like, we touched on in the beginning, what are your tips for teens navigating, those types of things from your experience and then what you're hearing from your audience.
So, my advice for that, is I've gotten a lot of questions about these heavier topics. And what I do for those is obviously I mean I'm 16 I'm not super versed in what to do in that situation. So I'll bring on Experts to talk with them about these various topics. I was getting a lot of questions on depression and suicide.
So I had a conversation about that, I've had conversations about serious anxiety and those types of topics and I think that the number one thing is to seek professional help. Yes. That's the number one thing. It's past the data. Of. Oh, you could talk to a friend about it. Maybe Practice A coping mechanism. Go take a walk or go get your mind off it or listen to music or something. It's beyond that.
So I think you really need to seek professional help from an adult and forming your parents or a trusted all that's other than the help could also be really important as well. Yeah, I think one of the biggest takeaways from struggling with my mental health and supporting my friends that were struggling with their mental health was to not go to each other because just like you mentioned as a teen, you're not Meant to be
able to navigate these things. You haven't been educated for 12 years and had clinical experience on how to handle depression, and grief, and anxiety, and all of these things. And so, there's no reason you should be expected to handle those alone and advise someone on how to navigate those. And yeah, it's just not something that team should be equipped with. And I know it's instinct to go to your friends, but the burden that you are putting on them. If you're not going to anyone
else. It's totally fine to tell your friends. I'm struggling with this. I just I want you to know that you're a big support for me and I appreciate that. But only going to one of your friends and only using them as your main support system is something that both of you will become overwhelmed and burnt out by pretty quickly. And so going to a trusted adult whether that's like a school, counselor, teacher that you trust, parent? A family friend, a therapist
psychiatrist pediatrician. All of these people are great resources and they'll point you in the direction of other people that are trained to support you and know exactly what to do to help you feel better. Oh, better and feel seen and validated and less overwhelmed, and like, things are out of your control. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, I think that the emotional burden is just so important to remember is separating yourself from your friend, saying, someone professional is just really important to do. Yeah. And it's again, to emphasize, it's not that you are a burden. It's that these things are really big and overwhelming and know, teens should be expected to deal with them. Yeah. Like it's not you, it's just It. There are reasons that people go to school for decades, to be able to specialize in these things.
There are reasons that there are hundreds of studies figuring out how to best treat these things and how to best support people and what resources resonate and what don't. And so, it's important to ask the adults in your community. What are those resources? What can I do? Because you're not expected to know those things and they'll be able to utilize their wealth of knowledge, they'll be able to
have other people involved. And so A game changer and I highly recommend well, where can people continue to listen to your talk? Was that conversations continue to consume your content and submit questions if they want to sure. So the Instagram is talk with Zach that's my username you can find it there and then my website is Taco. Zach dot org and you could submit questions there and fly to become an ambassador.
There reach out for media opportunities and just check out more of what Taco Zack is. So visit both of those again, talk was that kind of scram a talk with dr. Org is the website, awesome. Those will be linked in today's show notes so that people can find those easily. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm so glad we got to do this and cover so many topics that are front of mind for so many teens. Yeah, thanks for having me. I think we had a great
conversation was great. Yeah, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of she persisted. If you enjoyed, make sure to share with a friend or family member. It really helps out the podcast. And if you haven't Already leave a review on Apple podcast or Spotify. You can also make sure to follow along at at she persisted podcast on both Instagram and Tick-Tock and check out all the bonus resources content and
information on my website. She persisted podcast.com, thanks for supporting, keep persisting and I'll see you next week. Already leave a review on Apple podcast or Spotify. You can also make sure to follow along at at she persisted podcast on both Instagram and Tick-Tock and check out all the bonus resources content and information on my website. She persisted podcast.com, thanks for supporting, keep persisting and I'll see you next week.