#477 Wet and Wild: For All P*$$y Owners and Admirers

I was like, wait, you're feeling sensations in your pussy like not during sex, but just like all the time. Yeah. She was like, Yeah, I'm feeling them right now while we're sitting here on this couch. And I was like

Like I thought it only happened when I wear tight jeans.

I'm A

I'm April.

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Well hello everyone.

Hi everybody.

Welcome back to the Shameless Sex Podcast. This episode is an episode that we aired many years ago in 2022. And it was in our top ten four years. And it's an amazing episode. The audio is stellar because it was in person. And the title of that episode was called Wet. Time to turn that pussy on. Hence why it was in our top ten.

Where do we record with Alexis? Where were we?

In person in our

In our studio. I'm trying to remember twenty twenty two.

I know. Yeah, this was like I think it was like summer maybe, so it was almost four years ago. Oh god.

Wow, that's wild. That's wild.

But it's an awesome episode. It's packed with all kinds of tips and and ideas and thoughts beyond just like techniques to turn that pussy on. It's also the energy. So whether you have a pussy or you're into pussies, this episode is for you. Okay. Uh let's just dive in this next question. What do you think, Chip?

I'm ready for it. I'm ready for it.

Okay. My wife says I'm not romantic enough. She says she doesn't care about flowers or gifts, but wants me to create more romantic experiences for us to share. But I'm really not very good at that. I know how to book a vacation, but then what do we do there that is romantic other than going out to dinner? My brain goes blank when I try to think of ideas. Do you have any tips? This is a common one. A lot of people go blank on this one.

Yeah. I feel like I I experience this. Do you ever experience this lack of romance where you're like

Not so well my in a past relationship I was told I'm I kind of have a deficit in pretty much every department of low love languages. Like There was a lot of not enoughness. Not c but one thing I was told I did was that I didn't come up with enough it wasn't romantic experiences, it was like new experiences, fun experiences, exciting ones. And maybe there was some truth to that. Maybe I was like waiting for someone else to plan it a or or also there felt like a lot of pressure like

Yeah, you are. What and I'm I'm wondering like what is romance? Like because certain people might consider romance to be different than others, right? Like I would get a little creeped out if I had roses all over my like rose petals all over my bed all the time. And some people were like, that's so sweet. I need roses.

Stay in your shape.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like, no, give me the roses. But I'm like, what is romance? Like what what what is a romantic gesture? What do what do you think?

What's that?

People out there what what their ideas are.

Different for everyone. And some people don't like romance, right? So like she's saying I'm not like flowers and gifts aren't her thing. So this is why I'm gonna bring this to what's what's her love language then, right? So so if if we're talking about the the five love languages

Sometimes that's nice, but yes, you're right. Yes. Yes. That happens.

And then what's the other one I'm missing? Or missing one, I'm missing one. Oh words of affirmation.

We're just...

Oh you did. Okay. Words of affirmation. Well that's mine. I miss I missed the one that I like the most.

So I l yeah, I I love you. You're so you're the you're so beautiful, you're the best pussy I've ever had. I I love spending time with you, I miss you so much, all the I can't stop thinking about you. And so these are all examples of different love languages. So what I would say to this person that wrote this in

Sounds like gifts are not her thing.

No, no, gifs are not.

Leave leave that away. Yeah. Or maybe maybe she wants you to build her something. Build her.

It's

Something. A new experience.

Yeah, new exactly. So so okay, so first find out whatever love language is and you can go even deeper into love languages. We have an episode three ninety seven called Uncover Your Modern Love Language and that's with Anne Hodder Ship and she has her own take on it where I forgot what she said. It was like it was like more it was more than eight I want to say the number eighteen. There was tons of love

There were eighteen plus and I think there is always more in development. So because she said it can it can shift.

So and she has a workbook. So if you listen to that episode again, this is three ninety seven. You listen to that episode I mean sh it'll give you some more ideas. It isn't an episode about romance though, but then you could get the workbook and do this with your partner to figure out more about the love languages and how do you meet them and and how does romance

I think it's about intention. That's what romance comes to right. It comes down to intention. Be intentional about something, do something and put your you it thoughts behind it, put love on it, details are important. I think that is romantic when someone really is thoughtful and intentional about what they're doing.

Yeah. So like I r like I really thought about you, right? So if we're talking about like an experience, so say it's you know, you could go out to dinner and go to a restaurant, like, Oh, I really thought about you'cause I know you like paella, right? Like, eh, but maybe that's still not romantic.

A guitar player playing your favorite song that you met over w w over dinner or a mediachi band. I don't know. That that would be their romantic.

Yeah.

Right. If you not a mariachi band all the time because you can't probably hear each other. However, it would be nice if you love mariachi.

Yeah, exactly. That would be super fun. But it's yeah, it's different for everyone. Like, you know, my romance style will be different from Abel's and different from everyone else's. So this is like getting really curious with her, but you don't want to do things that feel inauthentic to you. So like if it feels like bullshit, don't do it. But

What about if you're not sure? Book an experience like you take your partner on a cruise to a fabulous Mediterranean destination. And it's glamorous and it's With our uh with well, Amy and April will be there. So I'm April. She's Amy and we're gonna be there. Our partners are gonna be there too. We're teaching and it's a fabulous killing kittens cruise and it's beach club vibes.

And this with yeah, this cruise is I mean amazing, like April said, like glamour with hot light hed hedonism or also kind of uh like they're and they're known for creating incredible experiences. Or like the almost like think of like a roaring twenties erotica. But the cool thing about this is you're planning a vacation that is already designed for learning about sex, doing sexy experiences, romance, passion.

And you're not expected you're not screws. Yeah. You're not like going out there to be a specific way. You're like not like I'm a swinger or right. You're going there to have a sexy experience.

Yep. Yeah. This cruise is whether you're monogamous or non-monogamous, it's for any everyone. And it's female led, so it's very s safe and comfortable for women, whereas like a less other swingers y vibes places more designed for the male gaze.

I think they'll probably run out of space soon. So

Yeah. So do it now and you're that I think will cover you in the romance department for a while. Like it'll buy you some time.

Well, and if for some reason you can't go in June or they're already sold out, you can also check out Erica Lust's porn because Erica Lust has mastered the art of making not only erotic porn that's romantic.

Oh thanks. I like April's really good.

Lovely porn. It's just lovely.

Mm.

Yeah, I like yeah. April the yeah, that's a uh a sexy Irish I like that. Yeah, so in uh Erica Less, Erica with a K A Y'all, um uh she has an entire category called romance category. And this is where, you know, most of us are a little more like unless you you know well not everyone's a visual learner, but if you're a visual learner like a lot of people

Cut and paste. Cut and paste what you see in Erica Lust porn. And if you want 45% off, which who wouldn't because right now it's a great time to save money on everything, you have to use the code shameless. And you go to Erica with a K Lust.com. And use code Shameless, you get 45% off. That's just for you because you're special to us and to Erica Loss.

Yeah. Okay. Go get your romance on. And don't get in your head about it too. Like look at it as a learning thing. You don't have to overnight be like, Yeah, I'm super romantic. But the more you learn about yourself and your partner and then you try things, you'll figure out what that is in an authentic way that works for everyone.

Right. I love this. Okay.

All right, with that it is biotime. Alexis Ware, L dot A C, is a sex desire and intimacy coach, licensed acupuncturist, kundalini yoga teacher, human design enthusiast, Data Healing Expert and Founder of Sovereign University. To learn more, go to Alexis Laurenware dot com and that's Ware with an E, or click the link in the show notes.

All right, everyone. It is interview time and we were just talking about how we should start this with the wet ass pussy song. Uh how does it go, April? What what is it?

You've been messing with some wet ass pussy. Fucking with some wet ass button.

We're the A-Team, Alexis, April, and Amy. Yes. Yes, April. Talking about wet ass pussies, although we're not just talking about wet pussies, but um, you know, we'll see what we're talking about here. Uh, but we ha we were just saying that there should be

Talking about cats making taking showers, right? That's what we're talking about. Yes. Okay. I was just making sure.

Gatos in uh the shower. Perfect.

You know cats love that.

They cats love showers. Um so this podcast is actually in person. Once again, we we've been really fortunate in the last couple of weeks to have in person. recordings, which are so much more fun it to all of you who we recorded who are non person, we love you. But you can actually like feel the energy and start dancing a wet ass pussy here like right now is

Yeah, I would love to. It's been a pretty roundabout journey, um, as feminine orgasm tends to be. A lot of like ups and downs and backwards and forwards.

Uh my partner calls me whack-a-mole.'Cause it's like if you don't know what whack a mole is, but it's like always changing, it's like Where are you now? Where are you now?

Totally.

Yeah. So I grew up in a very religious home, not Christian, but not allowed to have sex before marriage. And there was a lot of shame around sexuality, fear of men, fear of sex. sexual trauma. Um and so I lived a much of my adult life um disconnected from my own sexual pleasure.

What about solo?

But it was I think a lot of the the religious shame around sex and masturbation and pleasure that would like somehow come into play when I was with another person. It was like harder to just relax and let go. And also a lot of that is what I teach now. It's like learning how to let go of control. So fear of going out of control and um is that safe to go out of control? Um, so yeah.

I feel like so many people's intro journey is it was really hard. I was really confused.

Or I just didn't know.

No, that's what I'm saying.

People just assume things are a specific way and that's the way it is and Not not necessarily because your parents said so or your sister or your brothers or your friends. You just sometimes think, Oh, I see this even in the I feel like I was raised on TV and I thought, especially w watching pretty woman Fatal attraction. Uh top gun. All of those eighties movies that it was going to be s this sexual

Are you really in a closet?

I mean

Yeah, yeah.

Like the I still sometimes masturbate in my closet. I don't want to draw the blinds down. Really? So I go in my closet because it's like quiet in there and I feel like my I don't want my dog to see something.

Oh my god. That is hilarious.

I bring her up, just so

Oh my god, you and I are so that's hilarious. I'll totally use the vibrator right next to my dog. I'm like, You're cool, right, buddy? All right.

I use it next to him. Sometimes I just feel like he he gives me the look of judgment, which I So coming to my question, because I do relate to this so much and I'm so interested about your journey, what first let's get to in your opinion, why is it important to connect or reconnect to our genitalia?

Yeah, absolutely. So I didn't actually even know that I was disconnected from my genitalia before I reconnected with my genitalia. When I went to my, I think first or second weekend of my Orgasmic meditation coaching program when I was learning to be an orgasmic meditation coach and trainer.

I thought it only happened when I wear tight jeans.

And I was like, Yeah, I can feel a ton of fluttering and electricity and pulsing and I was like, Huh? And it was like a whole world opened up before my eyes that I didn't even know was possible. And what I've discovered through my deep dive with orgasmic meditation, which basically looked like three years of having my clitoris stroked for fifteen minutes at least one time a day, seven days a week. Awesome. I was

Your own finger though, or someone else?

Someone else. Orgasmic meditation is a partnered practice. Yeah, it's always done with a partner. So through that practice, I started to feel sensation in my own pussy. First during the ohm, during the 15 minutes of stroking, there's a period that you go through of like actually just kind of being numb. and, you know, not really feeling much sensation at all because either the nerve endings on the clit have maybe been overstimulated by too much pressure, too much speed.

Am I gonna crash my car?

So it's it's like it just wakes up this whole world of pleasure and sensation that's available all of the time. That when you're not connected to it, you just literally don't even know it exists and you don't know that you're disconnected. But when you're connected, the reason why I love to share this technology with women is, and I do share it with with Volva.

Yeah.

It can read truth. It can tell when someone is saying something that's actually dissonant or not congruent. So it's like you develop this extra sensory perception that is your pussy. Yeah. That's six.

Oh, man.

No. And this this is So you know that's like the whole thing about like penis owners thinking with their cocks and it's almost like I love you penis owners, not mocking you, but it's like why you always gotta think with your dick, you know. But like but there you know, there's this intuitive

Oh.

Absolutely. Yeah. Once we connect to the the physical body and especially to the pussy and are able to feel sensation, it really tunes us into what we desire. What we like, what we dislike, what um, what we're attracted to, and basically just makes all of life more pleasurable. So I could be sitting here having this conversation with you both, and I could be sitting here cross-legged with my genitals contracted and like only paying attention up here like

opening my legs as you say that. I'm not wearing any underwear. I'm sorry if you're Yeah.

And I could just be very heady. And maybe you two might not know, but I would be experiencing something different than when my legs are open and my genitals are relaxed and I can actually feel them and I let them relax and feel sensation. And so then I'm I'm here and I'm in my body. I'm more connected to the moment and I'm not just in my head. And it wakes up this whole world of pleasure that we can move through life in this pleasurable way as opposed to just when we enter the bed.

Are you pulsing?

In April.

Are so are you pulsing your pelvic floor muscles to kind of awaken this? If you're driving in the car, you're like, I'm going to get the blood flowing by And maybe we're gonna get to this. I didn't read, but I'm curious to know the sensations or if it's just felt without even activating the pelvic floor. If you're just like I can feel the sensations of my outer and inner labia and

Left quadrant. Upper mid

You do know about orgasmic metat.

the left side of me.

I'm feeling it right now.

Well massive meditation is always about the left side, but okay, but anyways.

That's our s side of intuition.

Yeah. Isn't that my intuitive side? What's the moon and sun side of our bodies? Isn't there like a moon side and side of your mom?

Hi mom.

Mom. Left is feminine, right is masculine.

Okay. All right. There you go. Makes sense. Rub with the left side of my clitoris. Thank you.

The upper left hand quadrant of the clit has the highest number of nerve endings. So the highest potential for electrical stimulation. Interesting. So that's why they focus on that one spot in particular.

And this is for everyone. This is not just like right handed, left handed people, it's different. Like for for most folks this is the case.

This is the case.

Interesting. Yeah. Okay.

So in answer to your question, April, there is nothing that you are trying to do. Okay. It just starts happening. And your pussy is contracting as though you were maybe having just done Kegels, but it's just doing it on its own, she's doing it on her own.

She's a goddess.

She doesn't listen to anyone.

Spring is here and mine has started on the couch with the masterclass app because let's face it, there is something so sexy about people who know things. Don't you think it's

Hell yeah. I had a confident slump in the bedroom, so I took Shamboo Drum's Art of Sex Appeal class and Esther Perel's relationship lessons in audio mode on my dog walk. And in no time I was like, whoa, I'm actually changing things. No way. My connection is deeper, y'all. And yes, I can shamelessly say I'm having even hotters.

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Yeah, right now, because our listeners get an additional fifteen percent off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash shameless. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash shameless. Masterclass.com slash shameless. Okay, y'all, real talk. Relationships can be messy, magical, and occasionally what is even happening? We all have doubts sometimes, but if your brain is stuck on a nonstop loop, like do I really love them? Is this really right? Are my feelings fake?

Like a cyclone.

Like a cyclone.

But now I watched.

I've done this in meditation in a not from my pussy but more from like your root ch your root chakra but like You know the a guided meditation where you cyc you're c circling down when I think clockwise downward into the earth. This is such a the tangent, but I'll bring it to the pussy in a second.

G-Ping comes on, it's like she's moving body like a cycle. Seriously.

This this is gonna be a this this is gonna be a musical episode.

About energetic sex. I love energetic sex. Yeah. I get off so hard on energetic sex. Yeah. Yeah. And what I'm talking about, it's not so much like trying to do anything or trying to focus on anything. It's actually kind of the opposite. It's like letting just letting everything go, like not trying to do anything, not trying to get anywhere. and just being present with what is. And that's actually like the the beauty of orgasm and sensation is it's just a moment of pure presence.

And if something isn't feeling good, I'm assuming it you kind of I I don't like making assumptions. However, just because sometimes maybe there is a trauma space or something that has uh that's feels more painful or it doesn't feel as good as you want to, do you speak to that or do you kind of rest within your body space and let it flow through you and get to the next level. Or you're not trying to go but where you are.

Yeah. So in orgasmic meditation, one of the coolest things that happened for me is letting go of the idea that orgasm is the point of climax. and expanding my definition of orgasm to include all the sensation that I feel.

I love that. I love when yeah, I I continue, but I love when orgasm isn't just climax and some contractions of gender.

Exactly. And in that, it what that means is that if there's a moment when I'm feeling pain, whether that's physical pain because maybe there's some trauma or there's some tightness and something is getting released or whether that's emotional pain from an emotional trauma coming up. to just be with that and that that can actually be encompassed by or enveloped by orgasm. That that is included. It's not bad. It's not worse than, it's not lesser because it's not pleasure.

And so I'm gonna bring this the my this is two questions all in one because my understanding is the you know the nerve receptors I'm gonna s not say'cause I'm not a scientist or a doctor, but the the same places where we experience pleasure, we experience pain in our body. And so there's a great overlap in these p in these pieces of and hence why some people really enjoy pain and pain can be pleasurable for some some folks.

Yeah, and I I can speak as someone who has experienced sexual trauma as um unfortunately the majority of women have. Sexual trauma tends to create dissociation from the body. So in a moment of sexual trauma, we often leave our body. We go into freeze. Um, frequently, not always, but often go into freeze. And it's almost like a part of us gets locked or or frozen in time there in that spot.

So like getting out of the the freeze. Yeah, like it's that old frozen state that may have been around for twenty, thirty years.

Exactly.

And we're not necessarily talking about physiological things that are may maybe both. It could be emotionally tied as well. Because I wanted to bring a a piece in so I have I had an ax a sexual accident. that I never considered trauma. It was a sex accident when I was seventeen and my labia my outer labia was ripped in half. My left labia was ripped in half. So it was painful for me to have any sort and I was a humper. Like I loved to hump things.

Just having banners.

I was humping bears.

Live bears, teddy bears.

No, ne never never lie. Uh and so for a long time and granted I had never experienced orgasm with a partner because it had masturbation had been the only way I'd experienced orgasm. So when I think of sexual trauma, I tend to go my brain tends to go to people that have been, you know, victims of sexual violence. But really, when it comes to trauma. That could even be childbirth that your pussy's experiencing uh and and or just some sort of I fell in a balance beam.

Or yeah, or consensual acts of of sex.

where I...

To me. Yeah, yours or or or being compliant sex where I it was still I I still said yes and I was going with it, it wasn't terrible. Right. But it didn't feel that good.

Yeah. But I ha suffered from painful sex. So I almost was this trauma that I held on to and I just n also not connecting to my pussy because I thought it was Scarface and Time and so I was like, Oh my god, I don't even want to look at it. It's so gross, and I called it it. Yeah, it was gross. It took me a long time for me to understand that. what had happened was a trauma. Yes. And even though um I wasn't a victim of of s of like a violent act of sexual which was

Or you're having sex and your baby it gets ripped.

Or you're having sex and your lady gets ripped. So what do you suggest for folks like like us out there?

Yeah. Thank you so much for And for that question. Yeah. I was actually with Ian the other day and he was wearing the sweatshirt that says Slow and then go slower than that and slower than slower. And I was like, What is that? And he was like, Oh, this is actually Amy, this is the Shameless Sex podcast.

But slower than slow and slower than that. Yeah.

And actually one of the things that I I teach in Wet is a self-pleasure practice that's um kind of based in what I learned from orgasmic meditation around being just totally and completely present to what you're feeling and not trying to get anywhere. So rather than having a partner stroke you like in Ohm, stroking yourself that way. And actually meeting your pussy like it's for the first time every single time you get on the mat. And I really do think of it like getting on the mat. Like when I

Yes.

Yes. When I did this uh self pleasure practice leading up to when I taught the first round of wet, I did it every single day for thirty days, whether I wanted to or not. And often I didn't want to. Because when we go in without a goal and with that willingness to meet our pussy right where she is, it can sometimes take a long time.

I'm I was gonna tangent this on what about is the same apply to penises with trauma? You know, penises that have experienced sexual trauma in some some way or or physical trauma. Yes. Yeah, circumcision. Or various things. Like would it be a similar practice for a penis? I know that your work is mostly with Volvo owners, but what what do you think about that?

Yeah, I actually in the future wanna design and create a program that's similar to what for men and I just wanna start with women first because I am a Volva Bearer. So I know this experience the most. Um and it's easiest for me to talk about it because I've I've you know had this experience.

Some cock listeners right now or like I would like to go work with this lady Alexis. That's hot. Yeah, for sure. Or or we'll talk about like the difference between a hand job and erotic massage or like you know, or a healing session with your own pussy versus I'm just gonna like get off.

Yeah. And massaging, do you last piece, sorry, it's because I think I've heard castor oil when we've worked with sexological bodyworkers. I know that if you're pregnant that is not supposed to be used because that c you can have miscarriages if you use castor oil during pregnancy but

As well, it's great for um helping to reduce scarring. It's also very messy. It's like so thick and goopy. Yeah.

It's like molasses

I've heard I haven't used it myself, but I've heard that wheat germ oil can also be really good for scarring. So that's something to look into and see if maybe the if it if it's compatible with the pussy or not. Okay. Yeah.

I like that.

Most pussy owners need some sort of clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and many are not having orgasms from penetrative six.

Say what?

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So I I'm curious about this wetness piece here. So we're talking about reclaiming wetness and turn on and So it's so we decide it's arousal nonconcordance, right? So this is yes, this is from w we learn from Em Emily Nagowski, from Come As You Are, where um our bodies might not be uh showing this the same signs that we would think go with arousal, but we might be aroused or vice versa. It would be I could be perfectly wet and not be aroused or I could be aroused and not wet.

S R you're like

Or if you're on people on SSR.

Yeah.

Just so many things. Stress, all the hormones.

Yes.

All these all these pieces. So when so your your program is called Wet, but when we're reclaiming our wetness and turn on, w you know, what is this? Is it actually about wetness? I may assume no, but

Um it encompasses wetness, physiological wetness. And you are correct that it is not limited to physiological wetness. So it's turn-on that can be felt anywhere in the body, a thumping heart, like heat, flush in the face. It can be turn on for life. Like I'm excited. I'm passionate. Like I wake up and I'm like, fuck yeah, like I'm alive. Like what am I gonna do today? It's like that is all encompassed in underneath the umbrella of wetness and wet. If you're cra

Crying. I was what I was thinking is like Yes.

That is wet.

Actually one of the the Instagram posts that I made was like your your tears are no less worthy of uh adoration than your pussy's wetness.

Write that down, Chip. I like that. That's a good I know, I know, but we have to requote that'cause that's brilliant.

And I actually started receiving uh wet. Like I I really feel like I received it. Like it's not something that I created per se, but it was gifted to me during a time, a moment in my life when I was in a deep, deep surrender pose. So my boyfriend had just broken up with me. I had to move out of my apartment and I got COVID all at the same time. The trifecta.

Yeah, the trifecta.

It was through that massive letting go that I experienced this incredible surge of turn on that both translated to excitement about life and possibility and passion. And then also my pussy was just fucking wet around the clock. And um

Haha.

And so I was like, I I wanna share this with with women. I wanna share this with other people, what it's like to be able to alchemize pain into pleasure and to be in such a deep state of surrender that it's bliss, that it's like it's that connection with But

No, it's it's applicable though, for sure.

Of the the pleasure of actually not needing to get my way. The pleasure of things not going according to plan or right. And letting go of what I thought I needed to have in order to feel good and recognizing like sinking into a deeper layer of trust with life.

Is that like hitting rock bottoms and then you're like, Well, you know, if I'm I'm down here and it's hard and I can either hang out here in misery or I can look at like this is one aspect of life. or many aspects and life is full of pain and sadness and shame and joy and orgasms and all the things. Like is it similar to that where you kinda hit the pits and you're like, okay, here's a turning point to be able to feel everything as a as a part of aliveness. Yeah.

Yes. It's it's similar to that, except I would say there's one slight difference, which is like we tend to have when we think about hitting rock bottom, we have a negative association or connotation. Like that's bad. You've hit your rock bottom. You it can't get any worse than this. Whereas from this perspective, it's like actually feeling the pleasure in that place.

Mm-hmm.

Huh.

Interesting.

Interesting.

After you fight though, sometimes sorry, but right? You have really fucking cranked up hot sex and you're like

Angry sex, yeah. Well and and I kind of

Pleasure.

Well, our last podcast we we were with Willow Doctor Willa Brown and Leah Piper and I was talking about how some of my transcendent orgasms uh were when I was be someone was leaving me. You know, as the relationship was potentially on the rocks or ending or ended.

Yeah.

And all of a sudden I was able to go off in this in I think there's a part like less strings attached and then also like You know, there's these other pieces like my every I'm feeling everything right now. I'm feeling sadness and pain and pleasure and and all these pieces and it then it was an ecstatic experience.

Yes, yes. And it's so interesting that you brought that up because during that time after the breakup and some time in between what came into my existence, into my sphere, I started working on creating it, writing the content for it. I started having sex again with that ex. And it was the same exact thing.

The transcendent kind of or what?

So hot, so on, and that's not the first time that that's happened. And so what is that? It's like we get to go outside of the prescribed box of this is what our relationship is, this is what it looks like, this is what our sex is like. all of a sudden the rules of the game change. Yeah. All those, you know, the prescriptions, they get taken off and all of a sudden you can just play and be and it's free. And so that's actually a lot of what Wet is about. It's like reclaiming

That's the programming piece.

It's the programming piece.

Because we have a a a a little piece about programming and especially for an any folks out there like me, I feel I feel very mainstream when it comes to woo stuff. I I f I feel like I'm a hybrid because I live in Santa Cruz and I am exposed to it a lot more than someone that came from Wisconsin or Chicago or Maine or wherever. Or maybe Maine's actually quite wooy. Uh so I don't Okay, so giving this programming an upgrade because let's face it.

I'll add to that is just body sh body shame in general.

And you've also been skinny shamed'cause we are b body shaming a lot of times

All kinds of shapes.

Talk about y uh body shame in one direction, but I know I've been a body shame before about eat a fucking burger or something and I'm like, Whoa, bro, like how do you know like how do you know about me and my life, like let's calm down about this. So it's all directions of body shaming and yeah.

Yeah, it requires a massive amount of deconditioning and then re-reconditioning. So um

Yeah.

It can be and it can also be fun and it can be an experiment and it can be a game, you know, like

And then the rewards I'm sure are fabulous.

Yeah. So like for example, like I c I came here today thinking that we were doing video. Oh. And I didn't wear a stitch of makeup. Because I've already oh, thank you. I've already deconditioned myself from that programming. That as women, in order to be worthy of being heard or receiving attention, that we need to pretty ourselves up and decorate our faces to attract attention to ourselves by our looks. I'm like, no, like I don't need, I don't need to do that.

We're bringing a potato sound.

Like I mean it was a nice sack. Like a very drapey romper thing that like didn't show any skin, didn't show any of my shape. And I did that kind of on purpose. Um, because what I'm teaching in wet is learning how to take back. our wetness and our turn on from having to fit these prescribed roles as women in society and having to you know check off any boxes and do anything. No, just reclaim it right now.

Uh, so it's more like so you you can have all these things, but you're coming back to yourself and your pussy and your own essence and not like

And I know that there are all kinds of experts in every field. Like there could be a woman who could come on this podcast and teach about how to clear up your skin so you can feel better about it.

Probably wouldn't happen on a show, but

Right. I mean maybe not this podcast, but you know, there's there's all different kinds of experts, right? So somebody could come in and help with like metabolic weight loss and like I support all of that. I'm not against elevating our physical body in whatever way feels good to us. I'm just for disconnecting where it got wound up that we have to look or present a certain way before we're allowed to feel turned on about ourselves.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. For you know, being sexually expressed, maybe having sex with someone outside of their marriage, right? It's not in our distant

Maybe being raped while they were married.

Exactly. Exactly. So there's a way that that is just hanging out in the collective field and we're picking up on it all of the time, even if it's not at a very conscious level. And that has us tend to suppress our turn on because We we could get in trouble for it. Somebody could rape us if we're too turned on in public, right? So there's all these reasons, all these layers of conditioning that

So I want to talk about that because coming from a space of having no idea what you're fucking talking about, you helped me.

Is anyone else out there?

But yes. So Theta Healing, it's a quote unquote energy healing modality that works with the theta brainwave. Reiki is a form of energy.

Yeah.

Okay. Exactly.

That's extended my will, sorry.

practicing Reiki and receiving Reiki tend to be in the alpha brain wave. And people who are practicing theta healing go into the theta brainwave, which is where we go. It's

Lower.

When I listen to my binaural beats at night

Yeah.

I know this.

Where we go when we're dreaming. And so it's a bridge to the subconscious mind. And science, this is actually not woo-woo. Like science has proven and shown that um most of our subconscious brain gets programmed. by what's happening in our family, in society, in our culture, and our environment between the ages of zero and six.

Oh yeah.

And science has also proven that the subconscious mind is responsible for about 95% of our behavior. So if we learned in childhood between zero and six that it's not safe for me to be turned on, that I have to be suppressed, like I'm gonna get in trouble, blah blah blah. We're running on that programming unless we use something to decode and decondition it.

Theta healing is one of a few modalities that can actually get in and access the subconscious mind and reprogram those beliefs that got laid down when we were children.

So are you Theta healing someone or can they Theta heal themselves? Are we be are we be listening?

I think essentially being Theta human.

Actually beta healing is very consent.

Everything I figured it sounds about safety.

In baby healing you have to get verbal permission for.

I give you permission. Kill me.

Yeah, so so Theta Healing is one of the modalities that allows us to go in there and reprogram so that our subconscious mind can be on board with who we are and what we want consciously and help us attract that as opposed to accidentally detract us or deter us from having that.

Okay, so just a little bit about how a session would work. Is it the specific the kind of like the binary beats that you're listening to and and you obviously are practitioner of this, so how does it work? Um can someone tune in and do this over the internet?

Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah. So uh binaural beads help people get into the theta brainwave. Theta healing is totally different. Learning how to get into the theta brainwave and hold that brainwave and then do specific healing work from holding that brainwave while you're awake and conscious. So yes, it can be done over the internet. I actually moved my theta healing practice.

And you don't have to be someone you because a lot of times folks hold things in their subconscious unknowingly, right? So it's not like you have to have a certain level of trauma or this experience to actually reap the benefits of tha I I'm a s I'm making another assumption just based on my scientific brain. So it c anyone can benefit from this practice. Or modality.

Right? Yeah. Okay. I mean, it's true. Anyone, even if they don't have any trauma, can benefit from Theta Healing because most likely you received some programming from culture, society, uh, religion, your parents, your grandparents. Maybe it even just got passed down through your genes in your DNA and it's just hanging out in your field. from your great great great grandpa.

We just uh in our book we just read this hu le this whole study and there's multiple about how their trauma is passed down like four generations. They can take they can take it back to four generations and this is I I believe the study came out of like Berkeley or something. So that is legit science as well, which I think is so cool.

Yeah. So even if there's no trauma

Thank you for remembering.

Absolutely. It can be helpful because you most likely got encoded with something that's not in alignment or agreement with What your adult conscious mind would like to believe about yourself, about life, about the world, about the way that the world works, about your pussy, about your cock, about your body, right? And then honestly, like who in the on the earth right now hasn't experienced some form of trauma between zero and six.

Seriously.

Right.

Uh Yes. I would like to meet you and explore your mind and discover what it was like to be you.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, and they can't pick up the phone right now. But yeah. Well it's it's yeah, it's virtually impossible I think for f and for the diversity of trauma could just be Neglect. Like I cried and no one came to me. You know, or I got picked up and I didn't want to get picked up. You know, I'm four and someone was like

In our in my generation, I'm 43 right now, in my generation, like your your weird creepy uncle at the family reunion kisses you on the cheek in a weird way that you don't like anyone. But you didn't you weren't ever taught that it was okay to say no and this is my body and even if you

Mine used to pull my pants down and show the highway my butt in in front of my uncle, my weird creepy uncle.

I mean I

Yeah, do shit.

This is what theta healing can work with actually. Yeah. So that experience created an imprint in your system. And it formed beliefs about what is okay for your body to receive, what's okay to happen to you, whether or not you know, like um using your voice? Do I have a voice? So Theta Healing can go in there and actually target that moment and that experience.

It's a lot about he lost his legs from being an alcoholic.

I could tell you a uncle story over here, but not my uncle. Actually no, he is my uncle. Anyways, we won't talk about my uncle. Goodbye, uncle. Um all right. So anyway, let's talk about wet. Let's talk about the the the I mean in

Next week is I think August like sixteenth ish. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, nice job. Nailed it. We're gonna look at exact dates right now as we look. And I'm really excited to know more about Theta Healing and I'm might have to hit you up for one of these sessions.

Yes, I would love that. Yeah, so what is uh it's an online course that I developed for uh women and specifically for Volva bearers. Because a lot of what we do is deprogramming and reprogramming the subconscious belief systems that were put upon us as vulva bearers from, you know, pre-birth. all the way through our lives and that that particular conditioning and

I shouldn't watch crime shows then anyway. No.

No more crime shows, Chip. We've been talking about this for years.

Um, it could be, you know, re repeating like that trauma, like it watching crime shows can be really

April's analyzer.

That's my maybe m some past life I think I'm supposed to solve some mysteries.

Or maybe had a violent death, you know, you never know. Pretty sure I did. Maybe.

We do believe in past lives over here. Yeah.

So we do the theta healing to get at the subconscious beliefs and then we do kundalini yoga, breath work, meditation. Um specifically meditations like the fists of anger. So we're clearing out anger and resentment towards men, the masculine, the patriarchy, all of our lived experiences as vulva bears.

What about mommy issues? Oh.

Mommy issues, daddy issues, it's all up in there. Like everything we got programmed from our moms about sex, sexuality, body shame, all of that. We're doing uh central intuitive movement. So it's like um kind of like a mix between kundalini and ecstatic dance where we're doing a lot of spinal flexations and moving the hips and waking up the Shakti or the Kundalini energy and getting that flowing. We do a lot of somatic release practices like Screaming.

I love that. That's why I lost my voice at your birthday.

Record podcast.

I got a good week before I can scream again.

All right. I don't know. I'm kinda cutting you off the

And and then we do live, um, one on one coaching within the small group setting. So the women talk about what's coming up for them in their sex lives, in their relationships, in life in general, just being a woman on planet Earth right now. and I do spot coaching, like one on one coaching and but everyone gets to experience because there's so much shared experience, right? So even if a woman is talking about something that you're not dealing with personally.

It's only it's only twenty people you're taking.

Twenty twenty women max.

Get it, get it now.

Yeah. And uh you can find out more about that or sign up for it on my website, sovereign dash university dot com.

And if you don't know how to spell sovereign, which I don't Just go ahead. There'll be a link on shamelesssex.com.

And all the show notes.

And in the show notes so you can go and just click because sovereign's a

Hard words. Say it like two years ago.

Why did you say it before? That's adorable.

I remember with Willow and I was like Sovern T she's like Sovern T it was yeah, anyways, Sov Sovereign Dash University dot com.

Slash wet.

Yes.

And

S O V E R E I G N I just read that by the way.

Yes, she did. Although...

Ha ha.

So tha and if people want to work with you outside if they can't join if they're obviously there's more than twenty folks that sign up, can they work with you as an individual, one-on-one, yeah group stuff afterwards? Are there gonna be more of these um sovereign wet university classes?

Yes, absolutely. I work with one on one uh clients. I usually work with clients inside of program containers. So it's a minimum of a one month deep dive with me where we meet twice a week, every week and really make some deep transformational shifts in the person's life.

It could be online.

Actually, all online.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, yeah. And so you can find me through my website. I'm on all the social media as Sovereign University, um, Facebook and Instagram and stuck.

And you can learn how to spell sovereign with the right.

And she just made a great meme or bl or post the other day that we want to quote. So yeah, go check it out.

Yes, and this episode was not dedicated to cats in the shower, everyone. We're sorry to disappoint you. And if you're just tuning in now, rewind because we went over you're not gonna be tuning in now. I'm just being funny. So Alexis That was beautiful. And you are such a light. And of course, I feel so privileged sometimes to live in Santa Cruz because there are these.

Alexa is when there's more than one Alexa.

Okay. Well then check out Alexis' work. Um and thank you to all of our beautiful shameless sex revolutionaries. I just want to invite you to please. give a moment of your day. Go and rate us on iTunes. And if you give us five stars, it helps more people out there in the world. Find people like Alexis and Alexa I, she's just one. Alexis, uh, and we really value each and all of your feedback.

And for fifteen percent.