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One mayor and one woman joined forces to rid the world. What are you doing of inequality and fascism?
Seriously, I'm trying.
I'm trying to do a promo.
Here for who what what are you doing?
Welcome to the Othering Podcast with my Candori Okay, today we are talking to Stuff Stigma. She is a neurospicy rainbow lady who found her calling when she stepped out of the closet and onto the stage to transmute trauma into laughter. Nice, short, sweet, and to the point.
Welcome Stuff yes, I wonder who what wrote that intro it?
I love it. It's nice and to the point, and you know, it gives a good kind of introduction to who you are immediately.
Right right, Yeah, emphasis on the train without the mute part.
Definitely not muted.
But you do stand up comedy, don't you.
Uh yeah, that's that's that's the main gig these days, kind of pivoted from musician after you know, doing that for a couple of decades.
So how did you get into stand up?
I mean, that's what I was gonna ask.
That is like really cool to do and it's amazingly hard work and wow. So what started that?
Well, you know, growing up like autistic, before people were talking about it, you know, I was just you know, shut in or I was just super shy, an old soul, didn't talk much. Yeh cried when the Dominoes guy rang the doorbell, you know that kind of But I remember seeing our family had just gotten cable and HBO just started being a thing. And I'm dating myself now, age wise,
not sexually. And I remember I was about eight years old and I saw George Carlin for the first time, and I was just amazed that not only was he hilarious, but that you could do that just like that's the thing that people do is get up on stage and rant and rave and you know, and to laughter and applause and.
And make money doing it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And it only took me about like thirty years after that to finally get it, get enough confidence and stage presence to you know, jump out of the plane.
So what was it? What did it take to get that confidence in stage presence, because I'll say for me, I could never do that. Getting in front of live people terrifies me. In front of a camera with one person like this, and then later listening that doesn't bother me. But on a stage, I'd be shaking.
Like a leaf.
Oh right, well I've been I've been getting on stage playing music for like thirty years, but I always had like an instrument, and I was you know, with other people, and but finally getting up and telling jokes, well, I think my trauma cup overflow with it was just like just like enough shit piled up that I was just sitting in the back patio one day and I just started laughing because it just everything just seemed so absurd
to me all at once. Like like, oh, there's all these people just walking around going about their day to day lives, you know, thinking like, oh, I got it all figured out, you know, I got a house and a job in a car and then but at the same time, nobody knows what the fuck is going on, Like we're all in this grand mystery together, nobody, we're all flying by the seat of our pants and just pretending to have some sort of you know, mask of sanity, you know when we leave the house and.
Yeah, the keywords some of us, right, Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen some leave the house without their you know, masks of sanity.
Oh.
I stopped wearing a mask on principles ago.
Me too, Like I remember being a little girl and my mom would always say it, how going to the mailbox, my grandmother would put on makeup and do her hair, and she would and my mom would always bring that up because I would happily go to the mailbox with my hair sticking up in all directions, no makeup, and in my pajamas because it's just like I don't care, I am, it's comfy. I'm just doing a chore. You know. Why do I need to look like I'm ready for my close up.
Well, I can see it from both sides, honestly, because I used to be nonchalt about it until you know, my personal safety became an issue, like like not outing myself to the conservative neighborhood. You know. It's kind of like.
Yeah and yeah, and I like that you brought that up because that shouldn't have to happen, because once again you in general, being trans does not change my gender anyway, shape or form.
It shouldn't. I mean, if it does, maybe consult a doctor.
Yes, yes, definitely. If something's going on where because somebody is trans and my gender is changed, I need to stop seeing the doctor I was seeing or get a doctor because it has nothing to do with me, just.
Like you can't your porn hub subscription.
Well I don't know about that. The porn we can keep, but okay, the rest I can deal with.
That was the direct at more of the uh you know, oh yeah, convention.
I love it. How that? What is it like tender that they always end up killing grinder? Grinder? Yes, I don't understand that, you know, just come out of the closet.
Oh well, I mean I live in you know, like a little blue dot in a red state, and uh yeah, no, I get I get hit on by plenty of uh conservatives, like like straight guys. Uh you know, had a real flexible guys and uh.
Yeah. And it's ridiculous though, because if you like what you like, then it doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. You should be able to be free to do that. And if you can choose to be straight when you know you're not, you shouldn't then push that on somebody else. You shouldn't. You know, that's your choice. Fine, whatever you want to pretend like you're straight, be my guest. But if just because you do that, you have no right to then force other people into the box that you forced yourself.
Well, I think I think the problem is when you attach a lot of like religious shame and guilt onto all of that, and you've got like this generational system of you know, like man or men and they're not allowed to show emotions or cry or anything or else that makes them a sissy and get them.
Yeah, exactly, because you know, you can't throw like a girl, you can't show emotions because that's a girl. You can't run like a girl. It's always about you can't do it like a girl. So then there, as a boy, you're immediately taught everything that is a girl is terrible and wrong. So now you've got to hate girls.
And yeah, yeah, that's you've gotta you gotta eat this red pil now, right.
And it's ridiculous and stupid because girls are just as powerful and just as wonderful as boys and non binaries and chance. Yeah, you know, all of us in general are just as good, if not better.
Yeah, and yeah, that's a tricky thing to having. Yeah, growing up with with the the on the other side of the patriarchy, you know, like like every single move I made, every single word I said, like went through this filter that I was constantly conscious about, like is that too feminine? Is that too feminine? Is that gay? Is that gay? Is that too feminine? Just NonStop on these eggshells, And I mean, I think it probably made
me a better actor over the years. But but through transition, it's it was, it's been this whole like unlearning process, like like, uh, just stop thinking about that shit and act naturally and then oh wait, this is easy. This is way easier to be you know, mm hmm.
And it's also like an unlearning for I think everybody that's disabled or LGBTQ plus because again, you know, from birth, you're taught that girls are yucky and everything about a girl is effeminate, and if you're effeminate, then that's gross. Even as a female, you're also taught you're not supposed to be girly, because girly girl is, you know, the wrong thing to be. You have to be the tomboy if you want to be able to do anything other
than you know, sitting pretty frilly dresses. And it's a lot of a learning curve to deconstruct those rigid boxes of how you're supposed to be as a boy or how you're supposed to be as a girl, and then be able to break that mold and be yourself is awesome because it's freeing and yeah, yeah, and it's relaxing.
And you know, like I went through being teased because I didn't wear makeup and I didn't you know, have the eighties hair where you have that huge like peacock feather going around with the bank.
I grew up. I grew up worried about the ozone layer.
I remember, yep, And I didn't do that because that wasn't me. It didn't feel right, and I also didn't want to have to deal with the fact that my hair would be tangled if I teased it to do that. So I was just thinking in terms of I have to brush it out. I'm not doing that bullshit.
Well yeah, what always made it even more stressful. I think being neurodivergent is uh all of these rules and guideline just seemed so arbitrary. Yeah, like like, what what does this serve? Who is this for? Like why is this the way it is like instead of just you know, just be you know.
Yeah, And part of well, little history, part of it is because when colonialism happened to everybody, in order to get everybody in on you know, religion and such, you had to be put in those boxes because religion kind of forces those boxes to be there, and you have to fit those boxes. If you don't fit those boxes, then you're going to be labeled an outsider. And in those colonial times, outsider meant you were either enslaved or murdered.
Or you know, like Cherokee boarding houses. Like my ancestors avoided the trailer tears by you know, assimilating and marrying white people. And so that's how that you know, yeah.
My ancestry too, and you had to do those.
Like plag you know, or you know different Some tribes had five genders, you know, yes, all.
Actually, when you delve into that, a lot of the ancient cultures, Celtic, indigenous, everything, of all the continents, they all had multiple genders. It wasn't just male and female. There was ones that were in between that were fluid, and that you know, indicated that people were wise and they were revered for their fluidity because it was assumed that they had reached a higher plane of existence and
understanding of the human body. And then when colonialism came, you can't have people with power, you have to then degrade them and shove them into those boxes in order to have power over them. So thanks to you know, that manifest destiny and I'm trying to be nice here, you know, the pope and various other things. Back then, it was you assimilate or die.
Well it's uh a tennis Well yeah, uh fuck all that noise exactly. First of all, first of all, nature abhors a binary. It doesn't operate in that way anywhere anywhere. But then this whole uh, this whole one, like religious cultural paradigm. You know, uh, mankind decided that they're going to take the reins and and have dominion over the earth and all its creatures and all of that. And uh, to to exert that control is is you know you've
got a one or a zero and that's it. And you know it's it's just more convenient levers that way or I'm sorry, I should probably do it like that way to be patriotic. Yes, I don't dance that way. That's just how I have SENX.
That's how he wishes he had it.
I mean, it's funny because you don't use video for the podcast. But uh, when I think your listeners will know who we were talking.
About, definitely not. You know they should because I've voiced my opinion about him multiple times. I should say it because I don't think he deserves anything of respect.
I have a question, yes, if you don't mind, I got I got yelled at for cutting cutting you off before. So you had mentioned that you transitioned a little later in life. What at what point was that? And I guess why did it? What made you comfortable enough to do it at that time?
Probably head injuries? I mean, well, yeah, I mean it kind of coincided around the same time that I started
stand up. So like my comedy and my transition is my transition has been like very public because it's been you know, on stage essentially, and uh uh yeah, it was just I just kind of had a break just uh just to be candid, h a psychotic breakdown, just a you know, complete yeah, to blam out and uh and and uh standing there in the in the in the smoldering wreckage that was my life, realizing, oh, I have nothing left to lose. I am just letting it all out now.
Yeah, And I'm glad because the more people are able to be themselves, the more other people can see that these boxes that were pushed in doesn't have to be And I honestly, for me personally, I think you guys are more evolved than you know, a lot of us because you understand both sides. You understand well quote unquote both sides, because there's more than one, just the two sides. But I think and your your beauty shines through way
more because you're happy. Your eyes, you know, twinkle when you go through these transitions to become who you are and seeing so much I know exactly, but you. You exude so much happiness, and I think it's gorgeous because being happy should be the goal. It shouldn't be about, you know, trying to keep us unhappy, because what's the point of that.
Well, it's like, have you heard of did you ever see that Ted talk with the Prime Minister of Bhutan. It's like an old Ted talk.
At Yeah, it is an old one item I know, lether than.
Twelve years ago, but yeah, its whole Ted talk was how they're changing the model of their country. They're not using like GDP and these other metrics to measure the success of their country. The number one priority is the happiness index.
Yes, it should be. And you know when you look at the happy countries. Of course, they have universal health care, they have a representative government that actually, if you are unhappy, you can remove them by certain votes, you can recall them or whatever they want to call it.
In Norway, I hear they just like drive them out into the snow and make them eat rotten fish.
Now that Yeah, there's a lot of people here that should be doing that.
Sounds good.
I like that idea, and we should.
Don't you invade Greenland on foot in your underwear.
Yes, from here, So you have to you have to go across the ocean without a boat.
Mm hmm.
Any polar bear can do it, Yeah, definitely. If polar bears can do it, I don't see why a human can't do it without a boat or a door.
Especially if you've got that insular layer of like McDonald's blubber.
Yeah, definitely. I mean, what probably about forty years of insular bubbler bubb bubbler, Oh my god, blubber from McDonald's is you know, pretty good? There a little extra coke so he can you know, he won't starve. Sorry, I was just taking about Patrick at star on spongebub yelling I'm going to starve and you see the bubbles of
his stomach, and it just reminded me of that. But so it's saying though, just the fact that it pisses them off is ridiculous because the seeing people happy should be the goal of your you know, religion or whatever you believe.
Unless you're a psychopath.
Even they like happy people.
Not to my experience, because I've I've cohabitated with psychopaths before. I've been you know, as friends close to as friends as you can with somebody that doesn't you know, reciprocate those emotions. But like people that have been you know clinically you know, like zero to no or little to no empathy and all of the whole you know spectrum.
And when I've when I've asked them, you know, like when we've talked about, you know, what we want out of life, and you know, I'm like, I want to be happy, you know that, I want to create beautiful things, and I want to spread love and happiness and all that shit, and like what about you? They all say almost the exact same words verbatim, and it's chilling. They say, well, I want to watch it all burn and if I can help, that's even better. That would that's my main goal.
So why don't they just burn themselves?
Well, there's no fun in that. They don't experience like joy and happiness like they they but but the closest they get is is sort of like a satisfaction, a sadistic satisfaction from you know, ruining it for for everybody else, which I don't know, like like from a Taoist perspective, you know, like you you have one force that is you know, creation, creation creates, creation creates, and the other destroys,
destruction destroys. You know, it's creation versus entropy, and you know, it's kind of a homeostatic thing.
That all the more reason why they can all get together and light each other on fire, and then that way they can watch it burn.
Just just just uh just uh do an effigy without the effigy part, right.
They can do that, They can watch each other burn. That way, they can see the destruction that they've caused, and they leave the rest of us out of it.
Well, you can you can see, you can see the patterns of hannibalism in any any sort of fascist movement, and which you know, like I I when I used to ask my dad who you know, he would used to watch Fox News all the time, and you know, he's I've been gradually deprogramming him. But I used to ask him like, Pops, don't you see like a bunch of transphobia on there? And he's like, well, I don't know.
I think you're being too emotional and overreacting. I was like, oh, thanks, pops, you do see me as your daughter.
That is a good line to say.
But you would say that like, fascists don't win very long. Look at how quick we whooped Hitler's ass. And I'm like, well, it's not very useful. You're just kipping a big part of the story.
Yes, yeah, because he got into power like in twenty nine. He wasn't removed until the forties, so I mean he had twenty years of destruction to go through eleven whatever. One year is too long.
I can tell which one of you used the math brain.
Yeah it's not me. I admit I am not that great at math anymore. But still even one year is too much for that ship. And you know what gets me the most is that he's doing the exact same thing. He's doing the whole playb Yeah, yeah, yeah, saying the exact same words, doing the exact same thing, and people are still like, what, everything's fine.
Well they didn't they didn't have Netflix back then.
Yeah, that's true.
And social media, you know, you like the intentional zombification of the populace using you know, tried and true like neural programming techniques. They're like light flash patterns and frequency. You know, I went to score for game design originally, so we learned all these you know, uh, push these dopamine buttons in the brain if you want people to keep playing your stupid game. You know.
Yeah, and that makes sense, but still, how do you not see it? I mean, even if you didn't listen in history class, how do you not see it coming?
No child left behind? The systemic uh, defunding and dismantling of public education and funneling all of the students into privatized you know, uh, you know, all the rich kids get the education and everybody else they could barely you know, read a sentence.
Yeah, and again it just education is the one thing that equalizes everybody, allows everybody a chance at something.
We can't have that. I'm not in America. What do you?
I know?
I know, how dare I think of education as such?
But that quality, Yes, we want equity, and it's just it's it amazes me at how people don't.
See these parallels, and then, you know, get mad at when you voice these parallels at you and they're like, well, Obama did this or Biden did that, and it's like, we're not talking about fucking Obama or Biden. They are past presidents. They can't do anything right now, and just because they didn't, yes they can, of course, but just because they did something during their terms, people still, you know, fussed about That doesn't mean that you can do the exact same thing and not get blamed for it.
Well, I've you know, because since I'm you know, pretty public, and I you know, I don't I perform wherever they're gonna pay me to take tell jokes and sometimes get paid and uh so you know, I I occasionally uh get you know, certain types that want to approach me and and get into you know, what do you think about uh, what do you think about trains? Women and women's sports? You know, it's like, I don't know, dude, Like I've never thrown a soccer puck? Why are you
asking me? But if you if you know, like, but I can talk politics and uh and I always I like to use the Socratic method and strip away the symbols and the people and the names and just go to bare bones policy and questions and leading questions and policy.
And if you have a conversation that way, if you can do it without somebody yelling in your face, which that's usually my Okay, I'm leaving, but but if you but when you boil it down, like the vast majority of people regard wardless of who they voted for, want the same shit.
Yeah, life liberty in the pursuit of happiness bingo. And yeah, and if you've pledged allegiance your entire school career, which I did, and it said, you know, justice for all, not justice just for white men, not justice just for white women or just for the wealthy. It said for all.
And we had to recite that damn thing. So you better fucking believe that I am going to, you know, want to grab my chance of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and justice for all absolute and life liberty in the pursuit of happiness also means you have no damn right to shoot me just because I'm going to church or going grocery shopping or going you know, to pray or whatever.
Yeah, it was the original idea.
Yes, exactly. And if you're that honestly, if you're that miserable that you feel like you need to shoot up something, do the world a favor and just yourself. I don't condone suicide. I don't believe in suicide. But if you feel like you need to shoot some kids yourself.
Yeah, at least shoot yourself in the foot first and see how much it hurts. And then when you're like, oh shit, that's what I was gonna do.
Oh man, wow, and then check the barrel.
The gathering podcast is not condoned, Vince.
I don't. But still I just feel like, if you have this insane urge to go shoot up people who are innocent, who have nothing to do with what you are unhappy about, then you need to just look at the barrel and make sure everything's all nice and clean down in the barrel, or.
Or put the fucking phone down, go outside, touch some grants.
Yes, okay, yeah, there you go. That's the nicer way to put it.
Go like, meet people in the real world and have a conversation and realize like, oh oh, all of this like nonsense noise coming out of the Black Rectangle doesn't track with you know, my lived experience at all.
Right, you know, none of it does track. You know. They always talk about it, how they have these manifestos, and it's just like, what are you manifesting. You're not manifesting shit. All you're manifesting is you're a shit whose name should never be mentioned again. Once you have, you know, been sent on your way to jail or to the afterlife because you cut yourself after, you know, murdering innocent people.
I think this episode is just gonna be one long bleep. We've really gotten down the rabbit hole here.
So today we're talking to.
Hey, it's your podcast. We can talk about whatever you want.
Yes, But I just my whole thought process is just it. And maybe it's because I'm neurodiversent, or maybe it's because I have a heart, but I just don't see how anybody being different has any bearing on whether or not you can be happy.
Yes, it's because you're a decent human being. That's it. There's a couple of them in the world. There's three of.
Them right here. Yeah.
You know they always say look for the good people. I am good people, even though I may say if you're gonna kill people, just first.
But and good people you can always spot them because they'll let you know.
Exactly. I need that Nobel Peace price, kill us this all.
You don't have to go to Venezuela.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, I think the part of it is is sort of like a like a a like fomo to the nth degree of like like, well, I wish I could be myself, but I follow rules of society and I follow these self imposed constraints and rigid expectations, you know, because that's what I got to do to succeed and get through this life. And you know, if I, if I can't be myself, why the fuck do they get to be themselves? And so, yeah, there's a lot of jealousy.
It is, it comes all the way back down to jealousy. Is they're angry that we have the nerve to be happy. They're angry that we have the nerve to show our faces and not be what they imagined us to be, as miserable or you know, being defeated as you know, whatever we decide to present ourselves as. And that I think that scares them a lot and we're, oh, go.
Ahead, or or they're operating under the assumption that all autistic people are the results of the alien hybridization program.
Yes, I was hatched. I was hatched. I will die on that hill. I was hatched.
My brother's always called me the mailman's kid.
I got that too, mailman milkman. You know. I was hatched from an egg from like Mars or something like that.
My mom told me she just found me under a rock on the side of the free rank.
I like that. I chose you because you were right there under that beautiful rock.
I was just going to take the rock home, but.
Then you started crying, and what the hell? I love this. This is a good conversation, as it should be. But anyway, so coming out, if you don't mind, how was that.
Coming out? I already did well.
When you publicly came out as yourself, how did that feel for you?
Mm hm hmmm. I had built it up internally, like it was. It was way scarier than it needed to be, and it turned out to just be pretty procedural. And uh, you know, I had I had some questions to answer with with my immediate family and stuff, and but I didn't really get much pushback, even even from my conservative dad, you know, like he's you know, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it was definitely a big relief.
When did you know? Because I know that some people know it from the age of birth and some people just don't realize it until later. Did you always know or was it kind of like a gradual awakening?
Well, it's hard to say because I didn't really have that you know, we didn't really have that language accessible back in like the eighties and nineties, you know, I mean it was I knew I was different. I actually ended up coming out two different times in two different ways because I came out first as well bisexual then and like what was it ninety eight and in the South, you know, so that was that was pretty scared. I ended up leaving the South shortly after that, so I
went and get myrtilized. Yes, but I don't know, the first time I saw a trans person, I was like, oh shit, okay, that's it. That makes sense that uh instantly clicked. And unfortunately, like that was like you know, in a porno magazine, which you know, like back then, you just find in the woods when you're you know, a kid like.
A quote unquote in the woods.
No literally in the woods.
No, I'm just saying for me, I found it in like friends' bedrooms and such.
Oh right, yeah, like no, sometimes there would literally be magazines in the woods. You just stumbled by a hobo camp when you're out playing and it's like, hey, what is this? And but the craziest uh synchronicity, the first trans woman I saw in this you know, Nudi mag I ended up dating in Los Angeles like two decades, like wow, like, yeah, like fifteen sixteen years later.
Damn, wow, that's awesome.
Yeah, what are the odds?
Yeah, I mean, wow, that's like dating Marilyn and Roe, you know, after seeing her in Playboy. I mean that's awesome. But and I ask those things just because again, like I'm sure you've heard me say, I discovered myself this year. And you know, I discovered a lot more about myself because I masked for so long, because when you're you know, neurodivergent, you're usually ignored, especially if you're female. And it's not
that my parents didn't know that something was off. They knew, but again because I was you know, I had good grades and I wasn't causing trouble. I wasn't bouncing off of things, so they just you know, ignore you. And as I was discovering that, I discovered that I am bisexual, even though like because I always brushed it off. You know, I'm looking at the ladies because I like their hair, right, or they have really good makeup on, and it's like.
That's not the important part.
No, it's not yet, And it really wasn't what.
I was looking at looking down here, and you're like, yeah, that's really that's a really nice hair.
Too, exactly. Look at the highlights in her hair.
How do you talk about she's bald?
Yeah, but it was just it was one of those things where I just kind of pushed it to the side because again, growing up in the eighties and nineties, there weren't many words for those things, and if you were bisexual, it was kind of gross. And you know, you're not supposed to be that because you know that you're either gay or you're straight. You can't possibly be both.
Yeah, that's just greedy, right, or you're you're confused.
That type of narrative was always around. So it's just like discovering myself layer, I'd say it was made me happy. I am a much happier person now because I know more of who I am than I realized. And you know, having those words and being able to see some sort of representation made a difference, you know, from growing up being very very angry about a lot of things and then being able to be free of a lot of
that anger is amazing. And so like, I wonder if you had similar emotions or if you you know, always understood, because again, you know, I have that alien feeling of how come I didn't see this. How how come I didn't know this about myself?
Well? Because you were gasolt out of it? Yeah, Like ultimately, you know, like it's it's funny how like the uh the Venn diagram between you know, like queer people and autistic people, it's just a circle, yep, because because like at the end of the day, like you know, you look around, it's like, why is everybody making such a fuss out of it? It's just meat. You know, either you like that kind of meat or you don't like it. Gives a shit.
Exactly, And I kind of I've always had that thought process of who cares? You know, as long as you're not trying to force me into that situation, then it doesn't matter what you do. And you know, like the saying goes about a penis, we know you have one, and you can be proud of it. You can be proud of having one, but you don't need to show everybody and shove it. You know, you don't need to shove it down people's.
Throats unless you're on a certain island.
Yeah, of course, with a person with the last name that starts with a T. But but when you'll ask me like, well, that's too too obscure of a puzzle. What person starts with the last name of ta Yes, yes, he wasn't there, I don't think. But even if he was, lock him up. That's the thing that just.
Drives me from one closet to another.
Right, and it just they're children, ew, why the fuck do you want children? You disgusting pieces of grossness ship that are so gross that even shit's like you, I mean, come on.
Yeah, it's like like, have you ever met somebody and just want to punch them in the face? Yes, yeah, me too. That's why I don't have any kids.
Oh I've tried not to do that with I'm just kidding, but I mean there have been I do admit there have been times when I would love to slap the ship out of my kids. I don't because that's abuse, but I we all have those thoughts.
Oh yeah, I used to teach music. I had a lot of special needs students and they were great. It was the it was the spoiled, rich brats that I wanted to.
Yep.
Yeah, that's why I didn't want to teach like elementary school, because I didn't want to have to do with other kids. And you know the insaneness that you were driven to when you have to sit down, sit down, I said, sit down, and you just want to kind of rip your hair out. And I commend all of those people that are able to teach children because they can be the biggest little shits ever.
Yeah, although I'm not sure.
College kids are much better because they know what they're doing and they can talk back better.
Actually, they're more respectful. They're easier to control, not control. It's not like, welcome to my class. Now look into this, and you know I'm not like hypnotizing them or something and I'll snap my fingers and you'll be awake.
Yeah. No, that's how you have to do it as mass hypnosis.
Yes, and no, we're not condoning massive hypnosis.
Well I am. That's essentially what I do. I mean, it's consensual, but I mean, you know, I'm just you know, I'm getting a group of people to imagine, like what's in my head, you know, like this, I'm setting up a scene and then I'm crashing a bus into it for your laughs and enjoyment.
So I've never talked to an actual stand up comedian, and I got questions.
So, how do you stand up.
When you're writing your stuff, your jokes and stuff. How do you know This is a really stupid question, actually, but how do you know it's any good? How do you know it's any good? And then like how long does it take you to come up with everything? How does that process kind of go?
Well? Uh, at first, you don't really know. That's what. You write a bunch of ideas down. Typically, if it makes you laugh really hard, then you've got something. And you go to an open mic and you know, boo, crickets get off the state, you know, like uh and uh, and the stuff that makes made you laugh if it doesn't, if it doesn't get a laugh in a crowd, then you go back, you know, and record every set is ideal, but uh, and you go back like, Okay, maybe I
wasn't communicating the idea effectively. And you move some words around, cut a bunch of words out of it, and you're trying to be as clear and precise as possible to get your idea from your brain into their brains. Sometimes you you're just throwing a bunch of shit at the wall. See what sticks. But I don't know. I usually have a pretty good idea of when I'm writing, what's what's gonna work? At least at first, because I mean, it's
it's just like writing a song. You know, there's there's music theory, right, and you've got four and the charts, the modes and all that stuff. Comedy is the same way. It's as it's not as a cohesive, formalized formula like as music theory is, because it's you know, a way younger art form.
But you know, it's how do you not die from laughter at your jokes though? When you told them? Because when you watch comedians and they deliver their jokes, you know it's funny because you wrote it, But how do you not end up dying of laughter when you've told the joke along with your audience?
Well, sometimes the first time is a little tricky, but I mean again, acting like, the better you sell it as you know, you're being dead serious, right, the better you can you know, sell that bigger the surprise, the bigger the pop. And but there's yeah, there's definitely been times where I've struggled through gig. I've gotten the giggles, you know, at an open mic, train out new stuff.
But you know, usually when you see a stand up they've told those same jokes like hundreds of times, right, So yeah, like and if it's a if it's a really good joke, I mean I still laugh sometimes on stage, you know if or you know, the audience surprises you, and that's that's a good thing. You want to lean into it, you know.
And yeah, because there's always that one person that has the most crazy laugh that just that like overrides everyone else's voice in the entire area and just has this strange laughter and then it just that that's what makes me even laugh harder, is when I hear those people after watching you know, stand up comedians going and I admire you because I feel like being able to find what people what brings everybody together, and then being able to not only observe it, but have this quick wit
about yourself to be able to turn it into something funny. Uh oh, it is amazing.
Well, if if I hadn't done that, I probably would have eaten a bullet a long time ago.
So well, I'm glad that you found that.
Have you dealt with the opposite the assholes in the crowd that aren't cooperating or that you have to kind of.
Yeah, oh yeah, hecklers, honestly, like there they're the reason it took me so long to get started in the first place, was that fear that there's gonna every time I perform, there's going to be somebody trying to, you know, combat me with it. And it's like they're fairly rare. Like I'd say, like like nine times out of ten, there's not some asshole in the audience that just hates you wants everybody to know about it.
That's good.
Yeah, the most common hecklers are just drunk people that either think they're helping the show and want to participate, or they're ignoring you and having a loud conversation right in front of you while you're talking. And those people are easy to deal with usually. Well yeah, yeah, the non combative hecklers. But yeah, it's it's good to have a couple of burns in your in your back pocket. Well, you know, I gave up pockets with with all the other male privilege, but you.
Know, yeah, can we please talk about fucking pockets? What the hell?
And while we're at it, let's explain what magnets are.
Damn it. Yes, I mean, what the hell is all of this ship? Why do females afabs? Why do we lose pockets? I know why?
But why to keep us dependent on men?
Yes?
Actually I prefer having a purse because I can carry more more shit around.
It is nice because you know, you need an umbrella, you need tissoes, you need your makeup if you can wear it. I'm allergic to all makeup, so that's kind of done. Found that out the hard way. Ended up like lovely red lines down my face because I had to scratch it off and it was fun. And then what else do you put in a purse?
Of course, a wallet, taser, crystal and brick.
Yes, yes, definitely, cement.
Breath mints, lubricant, tire iron.
Now that that is a good idea. One of those tire irons that you push a button and it shoots out even further.
Oh yeah, there's a little Yeah those look really cool. Yep, yeah, that's that was one of my hobbies as a kid. It was metroid and bostaff.
Yeah, yep, there you go.
I thought you're gonna say, using the tire iron. I thought you were gonna say that was what you did as a kid, using the tire ironing.
Able to change a tire I can't either.
I don't feel so alone.
And you never had the upper body strength.
I never had to. All of my friends either did it for me or Mike does it for me.
Yeah. I remember one time getting a flat in the middle of bumber bumblefuck, South Carolina at night and and I'm like, oh shit. Uh. And this was in my early twenties, so this is like way pre transition, and you know, like outwardly goth and weird, and like, oh,
I'm in trouble. Uh oh wait, no, this was this is this was before cell phone, so like yeah, that was and yeah, and uh, I'm just I'm like, okay, I think I remember how to do this, and I start getting the jack but I'm like, oh, as soon as I jack it up, it starts crunching up the stuff. I don't have it on the right place, and it's just a total mess. And all of a sudden, this big pickup truck pulls up and I'm like, oh shit,
here we go. And some old like hillbilly dudes come out and they're like, well, it looks like you got yourself the flat and I'm like yeah, yeah. They're like, let's let me help you out, and They just fucking helped me change my They just changed the tire for me and wished me luck and sent me out my way. And I'm like, oh, that's good. I thought I was about to get hate crined.
Yeah, well, I'm glad that they were hopeful. Yeah. I was with a friend of mine and Jill. We were in college. We had cell phone at that time, but it wasn't widespread, so you had those pockets of where there's like no hope of reaching anybody. And we had a flat tire. I think, yeah, exactly, we had a flat tire, and we pulled over and the only light was in front of a fire station. Everything else was
pitch black. So you felt like, at least in my mind, that I was in the beginning of a Stephen King novel and I'm expecting like the worst things to come out of the shadows to get me. While my friend is doing changing the tire, and I'm like looking around every which way but I could possibly do to make sure she's okay, and she's thinking, I'm like this nut job that she picked up off of, you know, a boulevard, because she's laughing at me, thinking I'm nuts because I
was telling her. You know, Stephen King, things are going to come out of the woods here.
Everybody knows clown Cliff in the woods.
Yes, and there's a great he can always come out of that.
We all float down here.
Yes, I love that story. Mm hmmm, one of my favorites. So who is your favorite comedian or one of your favorite comedians?
Oh, that's that's up there with like favorite movie or favorite musician or favorite blade of grass in the yard.
Yes, I'm gonna sing George Carlin's one because you said that's kind of what got you into it.
Yeah, Yeah, definitely him. I always liked Rodney Dangerfields came at Phillips is an all time like favorite, one of my favorite joke writers like Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg and like, I'm a huge paton Oswalt fan. Dave tel Is one of the goats, one of my favorite like breaking out comics who's like getting bigger and bigger. I got the privilege to open up for Sam to Allent last year, which was awesome. I opened up for Ian Finance.
He's fucking hilarious. I got the host for Robin Tran, who's a hilarious trance autistic comedian, out of la She's great, and yeah, like there's there's too many. I could just sit here and rattle off names.
No, and it was like thinking, as you were rattling them off, I'm like, oh my god, I know these people. I know of these people, and that's like really cool. And like I grew up watching Carlin and Goldberg and of course Saturday Night Live, Eddie Murphy and things like that, and I always enjoyed. I don't think we were supposed to watch them, because I mean I was probably like five, but I watched a lot of things I probably shouldn't have.
Oh yeah, we're probably gonna get booed. But I don't think I've ever seen Carlin stand up.
He's good.
I've heard I've ever seen it. He's really Actually his his later works are, you know, from like the nineties into the oughts, way more prescient and relevant today, like increasingly so, like he just had his like finger on the pulse of the mechanations of our despair.
He saw it, he saw the writing on the wall longer as soon as we you know, voted in Reagan, he saw it coming.
And oh yeah he was I was. I was born that year.
I was born in Carter So in seventy eight.
Discuss in eighty one, I heard that Pride Month was celebrated in January because that's how skinheads celebrated the Reagan inauguration.
Mm hmm, yeah, I remember that, not from first hand knowledge. I was only like three, but I remember hearing about that.
I wasn't born yet in January of eighty one.
Nope, you were.
I was alive, just still inside my mama or inside the Pelican or whatever it is that delivered me the Pelicans.
I was born on the summer solstice in the Bermuda Triangle during a lightning storm.
I saw that on your bio on Throgs.
I love that too.
It's true, and it's also how I avoid telling people I'm from Florida.
I was born during a winter storm like Chicago was pretty much shutting down at how bad. That's how bad the winter storm was when I was born. And I always kind of figure that that's why I'm so outspoken about certain things, because I was born during a mega winter storm that shook down Chicago basically, so I have to be that force. As weird as it is.
Well, unfortunately, we are running out of time.
Dun dun dum.
I always have to be the bearer of bad news. But before we go, do you want to let people know how they can find you, or how they can hear your comedy or anything else that you want to put out there to the world.
Oh yeah, I'm on the socials, you know, like uh yeah, Instagram, Facebook, Yes, people still use its. YouTube. I've got a bunch of you know, my podcast is on there and and some of my like I just released a thirty minute taping accidentally special. It's just a cell phone at a bar, but it was a good half hour of you know, good material. And yeah, so Steph steak my uh like the social stigma and yeah like quick google, uh Google now duck duck. Yeah, I remember that you can summon
me with an acronomicon. My social security number is.
Yes.
Thank you so much for joining us, Thanks for having me.
No, it was our pleasure. It was an awesome conversation. And I love to talk to you some more because I would love to pick your brain. Well not literally, of course, because that would be too juicy, and get it up and.
Look it up and a moth flies out there there, all right.
Thank you again, Thank you for listening to the Other End podcast by Mike and Dory. Please like and follow us in all of your favorite social media.
The Gathering podcast is produced by loud Core Productions, graphics by Josh and music by Jeordie James Memir