We’re talking solo sex in the context of a relationship. In this Best Of episode, I’m addressing some of the most common questions I get on the subject, such as: “if I already have a partner, why masturbate?” and “if I masturbate in private, is it cheating?” We also discuss whether or not you should tell your partner if you masturbate, and touch briefly on porn addiction: starting with, is it real? Plus, I take your questions! How to set up your own “masturbation zone” when you live with a partn...
Oct 20, 2023•35 min
If you’ve ever faked an orgasm, this episode’s for you. On today’s Hotline Calls show, Producer Erica and I answer your sex questions, starting with: how do you tell your partner you’ve been faking orgasms without breaking their heart? Next: is it normal to be dating for MONTHS without penetrative sex? Let’s find out, as well as how to talk about sex with a new partner before you've had it. Looking to explore anal play the right way, after years of uncomfortable attempts? Let’s do it. And finall...
Oct 17, 2023•38 min
Missionary is a tried-and-true classic. It’s the position many of us think about when we think about sex… which is also why it gets a bad rap. Haters say it’s boring and vanilla, I say it’s an underrated favorite. In today’s Best Of episode, I’m helping you upgrade your missionary game from “meh” to “mind-blowing.” We'll debunk myths about missionary and dive into ways to spice it up, from subtle tweaks to full-blown transformations that’ll keep you (and your partner) coming! Struggling to reach...
Oct 13, 2023•34 min
We all experience sexual highs and lows, but what do you do if your “low” is a literal low libido? And your “high” might result in a penis injury? Let’s find out. On today’s Hotline Calls show, Producer Erica and I answer your sex questions. Starting with anal rimming: what if your partner has expressed interest in receiving… but feels conflicted about wanting it? Next up: chastity play - it is "Lock-Tober," after all! But could wearing a penis cage set you up for long-term injury? After that, s...
Oct 10, 2023•32 min
Awkward sex: it happens! People lose their erections. Oral sex gets ouchy. Orgasms are MIA. Don’t panic -- you’re in the judgment-free zone! I’m here to help you turn these moments into erotic opportunities. First, I give general mindset tips for sex before sharing your funniest awkward sex stories. Orgasmed so hard you farted? I call that a win. Next, I take your awkward sex questions. How do you play off queefing? What do you do when you’re nervous and keep losing your erection? How about gett...
Oct 06, 2023•50 min
You’re in my Hotlines today, and Producer Erica and I are taking your calls! Today’s theme: conversations you need to have with your sex partners. First, how long should you wait to tell casual sex partners you’re sleeping with other people? We’re all up-leveling our communication skills, so I make the case for telling them immediately. Next, she’s on ADD medication and likes a drink or two – is it negatively affecting her orgasm? Or should her partner have a deeper conversation with her about t...
Oct 03, 2023•38 min
We’re back for another AITA episode! This time it’s all about sexual mismatches. First: they’ve got a 12-year age difference, and she suspects his sex drive is dwindling. She doesn’t want to cheat, but she also wants more sex…what now? Next, he wants sex for pleasure, she was raised to do it only for procreation. Is there any way to meet in the middle? A self-professed "pillow princess" writes in, is she the asshole for wanting to receive pleasure – but not give it? Finally, they’re in a dead be...
Sep 29, 2023•35 min
Orgasms are learned skills. So says bestselling author and sex expert Susan Bratton, who teaches couples and individuals to have more collaborative, orgasmic intercourse. Today, Susan and I answer your questions about being a better lover, erasing sexual shame, and, of course… having tons of orgasms. First: how do you help a partner who never orgasms during sex? Susan and I have ideas. Next, how do you train your G-spot for internal orgasms? We give you specific techniques to train your vaginal ...
Sep 26, 2023•51 min
So many of us follow a sex script that’s been handed to us. But is that script actually serving you? In this popular Best Of episode, I give you permission to let your favorite sexual behaviors lead the way, with tons of spicy ideas to play with. Sex isn’t just about P-in-V (penis in vagina) penetration. Yet, that’s what we often mean by “having sex.” Listen – penetration is great! But I have ideas for mutual masturbation, sensual massage, hand play, elevated oral and so much more. Play this epi...
Sep 22, 2023•35 min
Ever wondered how often happy couples have sex? Or the little-known key to sexual satisfaction? In today’s Sex In The News episode, I reveal new research that answers both of these questions and a surprising new finding on who says “I love you” first. First, my Producer, Erica, and I look at a study on sexual frequency and the number of times per month couples have sex. Is it this often for you? Next, we dig into research on men saying “I love you” -- do you agree with our takeaway? We then get ...
Sep 19, 2023•32 min
What are your sexual fantasies? No matter how unique (or not) your fantasies are, they teach us something about our needs. On today’s Hotline Calls show, we’re exploring fantasies and partner dynamics so we can get our needs met shame-free. First, cuckolding: when a partner, typically male, asks their partner, typically female, to have sex with another man. What if your partner wants it… but you’re not so sure? Next, living with your ex -- if you’re still not over them, how do you successfully c...
Sep 15, 2023•30 min
Welcome to "Am I The Asshole?" for sex and relationships! New to Sex With Emily, we weigh in on your AITA questions. First up: their marriage is on the rocks, but he wants a threesome. Is she the asshole for shutting it down? Next, his partner says she’s in pain during sex. Is he the asshole for not believing her? After that, she’s not into anal…but her partner really wants it. Is she the asshole for refusing? Next: mom just revealed she’s in a 24-hour BDSM relationship with dad. Is their daught...
Sep 12, 2023•40 min
Are you and your partner sexually compatible? That’s the theme of today’s Hotline Calls show, as my Producer and I break down these couples' sex and relationship issues. First, when your partner isn’t pleasuring you as much as you’d like, does that mean they aren’t attracted? Or just nervous? Next, do you squirt during sex? It’s a goal for many, but what if it’s happening more than you’d like? How about sex drive discrepancy? When you’ve had more chemistry with past partners – and more sex – is ...
Sep 08, 2023•27 min
Esther Perel is one of the most fascinating contemporary thinkers on sex and relationships. A psychotherapist and two-time bestselling author, she’s the host of the “Where Should We Begin?” podcast, which takes you inside the therapist’s office and lets you listen in on her sessions with clients. Esther is noticing some important changes in sex and relationships. Non-monogamy is becoming more common as a relationship model: why? And is it right for everyone? How about ”family-alization” – when c...
Sep 05, 2023•53 min
Sex toys have exploded in popularity in the past few years, but there’s one situation where they still tend to be forgotten: sex itself. Using a toy with a partner can feel intimidating. That’s why I’m devoting this episode to beginner-friendly toy play, with ideas for oral sex, intercourse, and even anal play. Listen, you don’t need all the bells and whistles to get a lot out of sex toys! So I kick things off with two essential toys and all the versatile ways you can use them: bullet vibrators ...
Sep 01, 2023•37 min
“Low self-worth makes authentic sex impossible.” So says bestselling author Tara Schuster, who broke out with her runaway bestseller Buy Yourself The F*cking Lilies and released the life-affirming page-turner Glow In The F*cking Dark this year. On this episode, Tara opens up about hating her body, having sex exclusively in the dark, and how she rewired her brain to love herself (and her body). Tara and I also take your listener questions, where we discuss dating burnout, sexual triggers, and sol...
Aug 29, 2023•56 min
The Sex With Emily Hotline is open! On this episode, I’m joined by my Producer, Erica, as we talk about disappearing erections, prostate massages, and so much more. First, what do you do when your partner has health issues that cause them to lose their erections? I give one caller ideas for how to work around this issue and thoughts on what might be causing it in the first place. Next, why don’t couples fantasize together more often? A couple calls in to share their sexual fantasies, and we give...
Aug 25, 2023•29 min
Two of your most powerful sex accessories? Your hands. Hands set the tone of your sexual energy. For example, caressing their cheek while you make out versus pinning their hands down while you have sex. And while we talk a lot about what to do with our mouths or genitals on this show, today I’m focusing on a lost art: hand play. Specifically, how to finger, give a hand job, and use your hands with sexual intention. Today, my Producer, Erica, and I first share how to penetrate a vulva with your f...
Aug 22, 2023•42 min
It’s Hotline Calls time! And we’ve got one common theme: trust - the foundation of hot sex. Because when you trust yourself and the person you’re with, you can fully let go in bed and relax into your deepest pleasure. When oral sex gets too rough, how can you ask your partner to be more gentle and respectful? I’ve got some thoughts. When your partner doesn’t love booty play – but you definitely do – can you still ask for a rim job? Let’s say your partner goes to strip clubs, and it makes you sup...
Aug 18, 2023•26 min
We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool ...
Aug 15, 2023•36 min
This is how an orgasm works. It’s a symphony of mind, nervous system, blood flow and muscle spasms, all syncing up to give you oh-so-wonderful sensations. But what if you’ve never had an orgasm before? Or what if you do experience them – but want them to be better? In today’s popular Best Of episode, I explain the science behind orgasms and how to make yours amazing. I tell you what to do if you’ve never had an orgasm before, give you tricks for elevating your orgasms, and even share a few unexp...
Aug 11, 2023•52 min
Initiating sex, dry spells, and mismatched libidos: the Hotline Calls are open, and your sex questions are answered! Today’s sexual concerns are especially relatable: I’m willing to bet you’ve experienced one of these yourself. Let’s start with orgasms. When you can only get off in one very specific position, how can you retrain your body and mind? I give you tips on switching up your technique. Next: coming out of a sexual dry spell, how do you learn to initiate again? I help you collaborate wi...
Aug 08, 2023•30 min
([TW: SA] If you would like to skip this portion of the episode, please skip through: 21:25-22:00) Let’s talk friends with benefits. Somewhere between a relationship and a situationship, you’ve got FWBs... And in my view, they’re a completely valid relationship model. But let’s be honest: they’re not for everyone. Navigating the friendship part of an FWB can get murky, especially if you’re secretly hoping it will turn into a real relationship. So in this popular best-of episode, I first help you...
Aug 04, 2023•41 min
It’s time to debunk the toxic myths around sex and age. Does sexual satisfaction drop off as you get older? Absolutely not! In fact, the data tells us the exact opposite is true. Today, anthropologist, bestselling author and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin and I lay out the facts, which is fitting: we’re both in our fifties! If you’re not in your fifties yet, here’s what you can look forward to. It’s the decade many of us hit the reset button on our sexual desires. It’s the decade you start ...
Aug 01, 2023•59 min
When you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open the relationship? What does it mean when they don’t finish during sex? In today’s Hotline Calls episode, I’m taking all your pressing sex questions. First, when you want to bring sex toys and lube into the bedroom, but your partner is firmly opposed…what now? I offer communication tips to help bring down defenses. Next, when you’re loving sex with your partner but they never orgasm, is that a cause for concern? I talk about delayed ejacu...
Jul 28, 2023•27 min
Bored in bed? It happens. Sexual boredom doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship – but it is a cue that you’re ready for novelty. So save this episode because it’s an entire guide to spicing up your sex. First, I start with the when and where: how does the time of day affect your arousal? And where can you do it besides the bedroom? Next, we make your favorite sex positions more interesting and exciting with tweaks you can try right now. Finally, I give you beginne...
Jul 25, 2023•36 min
Your sleep affects your sex drive: we know this. The bottom line: if you know the right sleep hacks, you can have much better sex. In this fascinating Best Of episode with Dr. Michael Breus, we dive into the science of sleep and how to leverage it for sexual arousal. Starting with the four chronotypes, your body’s natural disposition to be awake or asleep, we help you figure out how to work with your body (not against it) for sexual arousal. We also discuss snoring – why it happens and how it af...
Jul 21, 2023•38 min
Let’s talk solo anal. You may be looking around right now, wondering why anal play is so trendy, and thinking to yourself: “is this actually for me?” But before you jump into the anal deep end with a partner, I’ve got a pro tip: try anal with yourself! On today’s episode, I’m talking through all the positive reasons to explore anal with yourself, no matter what genitals you’ve got. I’m also busting common anal myths and giving you step-by-step tips for exploration based on your anatomy. I’m talk...
Jul 18, 2023•30 min
Solo sex (aka masturbation) is legitimate self-care. Better sleep, less stress, glowing skin, heightened immunity – and let’s not forget orgasms (not that I think you would). So on today’s Best Of episode, I’m talking all things solo sex and how to make it work for you. Feel embarrassed or ashamed about it? Or do you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I help you create a solo sex routine that matches your lifestyle and get you in the right (sexy) headspace for it. I also take your solo ...
Jul 14, 2023•51 min
How do your meals affect your sex drive? Are your hormones interfering with your pleasure? And real talk…does alcohol make it harder for you to orgasm? Dr. Will Cole hosts the podcast The Art of Being Well , and on today’s show, he explains the connection between what you eat and how you feel – both in and out of the bedroom. We discuss sex-supportive nutrients and how to fill your plate for better sex, the real deal on HRT and hormone fluctuation, shame-flammation, and so much more. If you’ve e...
Jul 11, 2023•1 hr
