What’s your sex language? We all have one. And once we’re fluent in the four types, we can expand our repertoire to more effectively please our partner – and advocate for what we want. In today’s episode, we will explore just that with psychologist and astrologer Jen Freed. Her forthcoming book “A Map to Your Soul: Using the Astrology of Fire, Earth, Air, and Water to Live Deeply and Fully” explains how these elements relate to the type of sex we want and how to create an erotic field with our p...
Sep 13, 2022•39 min
Dating as an adult is exhausting. While experience comes with age, actually applying that experience is easier said than done…even for professionals. With me today are two therapy professionals who also happen to be partners: John Kim and Vanessa Bennett. Their book “It’s Not Me, It’s You” offers an anecdotal road map of how to “relationship better,” from overcoming commitment issues, to fanning the sex flames, to breaking the blame cycle. John and Vanessa expertly dissect their own relationship...
Sep 09, 2022•55 min
To peg, or not to peg? That’s the question we’re going to push into today… and yes, pun intended. Pegging, which typically involves a penis owner being penetrated through the use of a strap-on dildo by a vulva owner, seems to be more popular than ever. But arguably more than other forms of pleasure, strap on sex challenges the way we think about masculinity, femininity and heteronormative pleasure. Role reversal and anal play require a great deal of trust, empathy and vulnerability. But if partn...
Sep 06, 2022•30 min
How can you be bold in the bedroom? I’ve got the boldness queen herself, Jen Cohen of the “Habits & Hustle” podcast, to tell us how to design the life you actually want — including, of course, your sex life. Jen explains the 10% Target Mindset, the difference between what you want and what you need when it comes to sexual partners, how to build better intimacy habits, and how to normalize failure so that you take more risks. That’s where boldness comes in: to identify what you want, and be b...
Sep 02, 2022•34 min
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sexually fluid relationship? As in, you and your partner discuss bisexuality openly…either yours, theirs, or both? What about having multiple partners? Or trying a threesome together? Are these possibilities you’d consider, or are you like: NO THANK U, NEXT! Well on today’s best-of show, I’ve got two individuals who can tell you exactly what it’s like to be in a successful, alternative relationship. First you’ll hear from actor/model Nico To...
Aug 31, 2022•51 min
Casual sex gets a bad rap. We associate it with hookup culture, with disposability, with mindless Tinder swipes. But it doesn’t have to be that way: when approached with an intentional, conscious mindset, casual sex can be exactly what you need to feel erotic and energized again. The key? Knowing yourself – and knowing precisely what you want to get out of your casual sex experience. On today’s show, I parse out all the different types of casual sex out there, and offer some research that may su...
Aug 26, 2022•35 min
What’s holding you back in bed? We’ve all got our pain points: body image, not being able to tell your partner what you want, feeling embarrassed to make noise or express yourself. But I asked you how you overcame sexual insecurities, and you came back with SOLID advice. So on today’s show, along with my advice, we’re spreading the sexual confidence gospel using tips from the Sex With Emily community. First, we get into body image: how to hack your brain to feel more comfortable in your skin. Ne...
Aug 23, 2022•37 min
If you build a sex room, they will come. That’s the idea behind the new Netflix show “How to Build a Sex Room,” and on today’s episode I’ve got designer Melanie Rose here with me to discuss her real-life erotic renovations. From a rock n’ roll dungeon to a high-end sex spa, Melanie has all kinds of decor ideas you can steal: spanking benches, wall-mounted handcuffs, soundproofing wall art. All of these are client-approved sex innovations, but the show has a touching side too. You get to see all ...
Aug 19, 2022•46 min
Let’s get sexually adventurous, people. On today’s hotline calls show, you’re bringing the novelty, and I am one hundred percent here for it. Jumping right in: can you use the same sex toy with multiple partners? Let’s find out. If you’re in your 20s and hooking up with a much older woman, is that ok? Or what if you’re all about female empowerment, except you ARE a female, and you DO want to be choked and spanked in bed? Finally: there’s a first time for everything, so should you tell a partner ...
Aug 16, 2022•32 min
Gotta love relationship advice delivered in a thick New York accent. I’ve got Adam Ferrara on the show today, and we’re healing your emotional triggers so you can have thriving interpersonal connections. Capiche? Adam and I talk meditation and breathwork for anxiety, the difference between responding and reacting to your partner, how to cultivate a felt sense of your emotions, and the difference between worry and responsibility. As a self-described co-dependent, Catholic Italian, Adam is as real...
Aug 12, 2022•39 min
Let’s talk about non-monogamy! In the nearly two decades since I’ve been doing the show, I’ve never gotten so much interest in this topic as I am right now. Which is why I’m joined today by cultural anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who in addition to researching non-monogamy for her books and articles, has first-hand experience opening up her own marriage. On today’s episode, Wednesday reveals what modern sex research shows about female sexuality and long-term, monogamous relationships: a wo...
Aug 09, 2022•1 hr 12 min
Have you ever tried anal play? Anal sex? Because if not, here’s my question to you…what’s holding you back ? For most folks, the answer is fear. We’re scared it will hurt, scared that we don’t know what we’re doing, scared we’ll feel ashamed if we just so happen to love it. That’s why I’ve got two of the anal pleasure experts on the show today, to help demystify and destigmatize anal play, and help you open up yet another pathway to pleasure. Dr. Evan Goldstein and Alicia Sinclair talk to me abo...
Aug 05, 2022•48 min
If you’ve never talked about your sex life with your partner before, there’s a good chance they’ll push back. Why? Because most of us go into fight or flight mode when talking about sex: it’s not normalized in our culture, we get defensive, we feel like we’re being criticized. But never fear – you can create a culture of sex communication in your relationship, one talk at a time. Be the change, is what I’m saying. On today’s hotline show, I take your calls about having a sex talk. Like: telling ...
Aug 03, 2022•25 min
Do you always have sex on the the first date? Do you always swipe right on people who aren’t good for you? What are your bad dating habits – and how can you break them? I asked you to tell me what negative dating patterns you’re trying to change, and you all delivered! On today’s show, I’m addressing your top dating problems so we can solve them together. Having sex too soon, trying to “fix” less-than-ideal partners, fear of asserting yourself, having misaligned expectations, the tendency to aud...
Jul 29, 2022•44 min
When it comes to sex, why was the world set up so that vulva owners are the ones in charge of preventing a pregnancy? That’s the central question of a Twitter thread that went viral in 2018, and on today’s show I’ve got Gabrielle Stanley Blair, the author of that thread – and a forthcoming book, Ejaculate Responsibly – here to talk about it. I’m also joined by anthropologist, author, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin, to unpack this fascinating topic. In a post-Roe world, Gabrielle is call...
Jul 26, 2022•1 hr
Anxiety, depression and low self-worth all block our sexual pleasure. But on a more fundamental level, they block us from showing up in the world the way we’d like: as confident, happy, sexy people. That’s why I invited my own therapist, Dr. Anadel Barbour, to talk to us through healing those intrusive thoughts. If you’re ready, your internal work starts today. On this best-of episode, Dr. Barbour and I discuss EMDR therapy, the four foundations of mindfulness, how to physically move through tra...
Jul 22, 2022•52 min
Ah, weddings. So ceremonial. So floral. After two years of postponements and cancellations, IRL weddings are back – but are all those newlyweds talking about their sex life? They probably should be! Married sex is full of tired, toxic cliches that I’m personally ready to bust. We don’t have to settle for absent or boring sex as we grow old together. So on today’s episode, I’m making the case for writing your sex vows before you walk down the aisle, helping you recreate honeymoon sex if you’ve be...
Jul 19, 2022•40 min
What cultural or religious programming do you have around sex? Even if you didn’t grow up in a church, sexual shame is – in so many ways – the air we breathe. But here’s the reality: you didn’t put those thoughts there. Someone else did. And on today’s show with guest Erin Tillman, we’re calling out those judgmental messages, and choosing the sex messaging that actually serves us. The result? A radically more authentic, more liberated sex life. As an inclusive dating coach, Erin is no stranger t...
Jul 15, 2022•43 min
It’s a good time to expand our definition of sex. At the end of the day, sex is play for adults: it’s where we collaborate with another person, creating a momentary world of pleasure and eroticism with them. But so often, we assume that sex equals penetration, and here’s the problem with that: not everyone orgasms during penetration. Not everyone feels erotic during penetration! So let’s make sex more interesting and exploratory, shall we? On today’s show, I’m talking up all the different types ...
Jul 12, 2022•35 min
How much do you know about your partner’s sexual language? Or your own sexual language? In this best of episode, sex educator, author and licensed therapist Jamye Waxman is here to talk about core erotic blueprints, sexual accelerators and brakes, and the sixth love language: space and freedom. Jamye and I talk through the communication skills you need to help your sexual connection thrive, because if resentment is the relationship killer…curiosity is the relationship healer. So in this show, yo...
Jul 08, 2022•37 min
Jenny Mollen is the author of City of Likes , a fictional comedy about mommy influencer culture and the intensity of female friendships – especially when one of them is a narcissist. Are they obsessed with each other? Do they want to have sex with each other? And what do you do when someone’s perfectly-curated facade finally cracks? Jenny and I met years ago, and I know you’ll love her just as much as I do. Besides being a bestselling author, she’s also an actor, host of the hilarious “Third Whe...
Jul 06, 2022•51 min
It’s my strong belief that pleasure is the antidote to fear, now and always. But when it comes to sex, we really can be our own worst enemies: what if my new partner sees me naked, and decides to jet? What if I try out some dirty talk, and my partner laughs at me? What if I approach someone cute…and they say ‘no thank you’? Fear can be crippling to our sex drive – but it can also be digested and processed. To do that, we can check the facts, we can remember that most things aren’t personal, and ...
Jul 01, 2022•54 min
Shaun T is host of the podcast “Trust and Believe,” a world renowned fitness trainer, and a professional dancer. Not to mention a wonderfully sex positive man, but it was a journey – I repeat, a JOURNEY – to get there. On today’s show, Shaun T gives me his genius sex and arousal hacks, how he and his partner keep things interesting after 12 years and two kids, plus…his favorite kink. He also opens up about surviving childhood sexual assault, how he came to understand and accept his sexuality, an...
Jun 28, 2022•58 min
Despite their reputation as magical, mysterious events, orgasms are way more accessible than most of us realize, once we understand the science behind them. (And OK yeah, I admit – they’re pretty magical.) As everyone’s favorite muscle spasm, the orgasm is a series of contractions from your pelvic floor muscles, which all of us have, and all of us can strengthen. But what else sets you up for orgasmic success? What if you can experience one alone, but not with a partner? What if you can orgasm i...
Jun 24, 2022•35 min
What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what beha...
Jun 22, 2022•37 min
It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way? Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave i...
Jun 17, 2022•46 min
What does it mean exactly, when someone says they’re a voyeur? A sub? A cuckhold or an exhibitionist? It’s part 2 of our “You’re Kinkier Than You Think” series…and folks, we are getting a kinky education. On today’s episode, I’m walking you through your sexual fantasies to see where you land on the kink spectrum. I’m talking submission and domination, exhibitionism and voyeurism, even a little humiliation, if that’s your preferred kink flavor. But because kink is play, I’m also giving you some s...
Jun 15, 2022•31 min
What would the world be like if we didn’t have shame about sex? Can you imagine how different your life would be, if you were told that sexual pleasure was healthy? If you were given the memo early on that masturbation was legit self-care, and that sex itself was joyful and good for you, rather than a one-way ticket to STI’s and unwanted pregnancy? Today’s best-of show is all about being the change we want to see in the world: becoming people who are conversant and comfortable discussing sex, be...
Jun 10, 2022•36 min
When you hear the words “BDSM” and “kink,” what comes to mind? Leather? Whips? The truth is, all of us are a little kinky – you may just not have realized it yet. That’s why today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part BDSM and kink education series, where I help demystify this world and give you fun, safe options for exploring. Dungeons optional. First, we’re defining our terms and getting a grasp on kink and BDSM – including, what the hell “BDSM” actually means. Next, we’re taking a look at core de...
Jun 07, 2022•34 min
Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a slight penis curve, it’s common to have penis questions – especially when they’re affecting your sex life. But where do you go for answers? You come right here, to this informative convo between me and urologist Dr. Edward Karpman, as well as Jeff Abraham of Promescent. On this best-of show, we’re talking to you all about penis shockwave therapy, what to do when you can get erect (but aren’t climaxing), what to do when you take ED med...
Jun 03, 2022•48 min
