When it comes to turn ons, we’ve all got our preferences. Maybe you love a deep, sexy voice. Maybe a wicked sense of humor. But there are five sexual arousal styles that apply to most people: you can think of them as the five love languages for sexual excitement. They are: conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure. In this popular Best Of episode, I break down the five styles and how to identify your top one. I share tips for harnessing your arousal, with date ideas and behaviors ...
Jul 07, 2023•37 min
([TW // mentions SA, r*pe] If you would like to skip these portions of the episode, please skip through: 21:30-22:25, 51:30-52:05.) Porn gets a bad rap – for very understandable reasons. Today, I’m breaking down the reasons why with Dr. Wednesday Martin, and also playing devil’s advocate and giving you a new way to approach it. Can you learn legit sex skills from porn viewing? In this episode, I’m going through all the reasons porn might be triggering for some, so you know how to incorporate it ...
Jul 04, 2023•1 hr 5 min
Have you ever used FaceTime for sex? Maybe you’re traveling and want to stay connected to your partner. Maybe you’re dating and want to test the waters with someone virtually before having sex IRL. Or maybe the idea just turns you on! No matter the case, today’s episode is all about FaceTime sex and how to pull it off. First, I’m talking prep steps: literally, how do you get in the mood for FaceTime sex and help yourself feel comfortable on-screen? Next, how do you position your camera and what ...
Jun 30, 2023•37 min
What feeling are you chasing in bed? No, I’m not talking about orgasm. I’m talking about an emotion, like feeling worshiped, praised, or unbelievably desirable. On the other hand, maybe it arouses you to feel degraded, objectified – even humiliated. On today’s show, I’m unpacking a kink that’s getting a ton of attention lately on social media: praise kink. It falls under the larger umbrella of core erotic desires, which we all have. I show you how to identify your core erotic desires and how to ...
Jun 27, 2023•42 min
Let’s talk teasing. Do you know how to build sexual tension? Maybe you’re dating and want to be a cute flirt. Or maybe you’re in a long term relationship and want to create a sexy vibe. No matter your situation, today’s episode teaches a lost art: the art of the tease. First, I talk focus and flirting: simple little hacks to put the spotlight on the other person with flavors of sexual play. Next, I talk body language: when to touch, when not to touch, and how to deploy a sexy sort of restraint –...
Jun 23, 2023•33 min
I’m introducing a new series today that you literally helped me create: Sexy Stories! You share your juiciest, most personal success stories with me, and I read them aloud on the show. Because sometimes the best way to learn about sex comes from other people and their experiences. First: parents who sent their kids away and tried pegging for the very first time. Hear how it went… from the husband’s perspective. Next, a married couple of 20 years have an unexpected night on the dance floor involv...
Jun 20, 2023•30 min
How do you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? On today’s show, I’m telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in Smart Sex (out now at bookstores everywhere), I’m talking through two specific positions that bring the kink – and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play. First, I’m looking at Cowgirl/Cowboy and talking through its pros, cons, and evolutions to introduce kinky dynamics. Next, I’m talking Doggy Style (or as I like to call it: Rear En...
Jun 16, 2023•33 min
Remember Loveline? The call-in show hosted by Dr. Drew to get your love and dating questions answered? Well, it holds a special place in my heart because I used to co-host it! So today, in celebration of my career leading up to my new book Smart Sex (out today!), I’m inviting my dear friend Dr. Drew Pinsky onto Sex With Emily to help me answer your sex questions Loveline-style. First, what does it mean when you feel like your long-distance partner is following you to your next city? Next, a coll...
Jun 13, 2023•57 min
Let’s 69! It’s one of those sex acts where you tend to be a full-on lover or hater. But no matter what camp you fall in, chances are that if you’re having sex, you’re going to come across the famous, the controversial, 69 sex position. Why not learn some pointers to make the whole thing more hot, and more comfortable? First, I share research with you that might motivate you to put 69 on regular rotation in your sex life. Next, I give you techniques for being an excellent oral giver, and strategi...
Jun 09, 2023•37 min
How did you discover who you were as a sexual being? Are you still figuring it out? Your desires, your sexual turn-ons, your overall attitude towards sex itself? Well, today, we’re doing something a little different: I’m answering all those questions and letting you in on my sexual journey. That’s right! I’ve got author, anthropologist, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin on the show today as we turn the tables and let her ask me how my career as a sex educator got started, the first time I ...
Jun 06, 2023•1 hr 9 min
Good news: every vulva owner can learn how to squirt. But it does take practice, and on today’s Best Of show, I’ve got sex educator, author, and female ejaculation expert Deborah Sundahl here to walk us through it. First, Deborah clarifies the connection between squirting and the G-spot, and just in case you have any doubts about the G-spot’s existence, Deborah tells you how to find yours in the mirror. Next, we clarify what female ejaculate is – hint, not pee – and how this fluid builds up in y...
Jun 02, 2023•48 min
Violet Benson started her now-famous Instagram account @DaddyIssues_ while working through issues of her own. On today’s podcast, she opens up about working through deep emotional struggles so she can create the sex life and relationships that truly work for her. No matter your background or life stage, I’m positive this conversation will liberate and inspire you to take the next step in your sex life. Violet, who hosts the popular podcast Almost Adulting, tells me about her decision to temporar...
May 30, 2023•49 min
We all have fears around sex, whether we’re aware of them or not. Maybe you’re worried someone’s not going to like your body, or that if you and your partner try something new, it’ll be awkward or weird. Maybe you’re worried you’ll never have sex with anyone ever again. I’m here to tell you this: your sexual anxieties are completely normal. Listen in as my callers and I work through theirs and develop actionable solutions to take the next step. When you’re a vulva owner, and something comes out ...
May 26, 2023•34 min
Author Elise Loehnen has thought a lot about women and desire. In her new book On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good , she breaks down the cultural forces that teach women to be desirable rather than desiring, and the shame attached to a woman wanting something: whether it’s sex, success, or a damn slice of pizza. Whether it’s lust, and the way we encourage women to police others' sexuality, or sloth, and the way women are encouraged to be their husbands'...
May 23, 2023•1 hr 10 min
It can be difficult to meet new people and cultivate relationships, especially when looking for romantic partners. But don’t let that hold you back from trying: you might just need a new strategy. On today’s show, I take your calls on modern dating and how to solve the problems you’re running into. Let’s say you want to date an older woman but don’t have confidence in your communication - how do you improve your conversation game? When you’ve been single for years and fear rejection, how do you ...
May 19, 2023•37 min
All sexual fantasies have one thing in common: they trigger an arousal response inside our bodies, laced with erotic flavor. But how do you actualize your fantasy with a partner who’s wary of it? Even turned off by it? On today’s show, I’m taking your calls on this exact predicament. First up: when your partner wants you to drastically change your appearance for their pleasure, should you do it? Or when your partner wants to watch you with a third, how do you find that person? Next, if you’re no...
May 16, 2023•35 min
You shouldn't have to be an Olympic gymnast to have sex. But let’s be honest – certain positions can be hard! So inspired by the Positions chapter in my new book Smart Sex , I’m bringing back this Best Of episode. You’ll hear quick tips to make ambitious moves easier and classic moves more exciting. First, I share the most-searched sex positions in the country: can you guess America’s favorite sex move? Next, we look at the much-hyped reverse cowgirl. I give suggestions to make it feel as good a...
May 12, 2023•41 min
When resentment builds up in a relationship, it compromises our sexual connection. We feel taken for granted, unappreciated, and unseen. Most of all, we feel emotionally unsafe, which makes it impossible to let loose and feel free in bed. So on today’s show, I talk through a study that connects the dots between a quality sex life and regular expressions of gratitude. Next, I take your calls: when long standing issues with your partner inhibit your desire, how do you break through that impasse? W...
May 09, 2023•36 min
We all need to mix it up sometimes. Has your masturbation routine gone stale? Is sex with your partner too predictable? With creativity and a little teasing, absolutely everyone can spice up their sex life – and I’m here to tell you how. First, we’ll talk about planning a "sex-cation" with low-lift ideas you can try right at home. Next, when you and your partner have already tried all the new things, what’s left? I advise one caller on sexual teasing and how denying your pleasure can heighten th...
May 05, 2023•32 min
Ever wondered if there’s more to your sexuality than you ever realized? Or relationship models that challenge everything you’re used to? Men’s Health and Cosmo sex columnist Zachary Zane has been there. As a self-proclaimed “boyslut,” he’s radically open about his journey as a bisexual, polyamorous man and tells all in his forthcoming book: BOYSLUT: A Memoir and Manifesto . He shares how he came to understand his attraction to all genders, his experience living in a polycule, why it’s healthy fo...
May 02, 2023•1 hr 3 min
Yes, it’s true: I’m talking with my own mother today about sex. A ton of you have asked me how I got into the sex education business in the first place: now, you get to hear from the person who raised me! First, my mom and I talk about her sexual journey, coming up in a time when open communication around sex wasn’t normalized and female pleasure wasn’t valued. She also helps me your questions on sex and relationships, like how to give a partner feedback when they’re doing something that turns y...
Apr 28, 2023•49 min
There’s often someone who initiates the sex, and someone who says “yes” or “no.” These roles can work long-term, but what happens when sexual initiations become a problem? When you’re always hearing no, or when you always say no? On today’s show, I'm talking about sexual initiations and how to make this moment a better experience for all. When you’re the initiator, but want your partner to do it more often, how do you talk to them about it? We’ll also get into spontaneous vs. responsive desire, ...
Apr 25, 2023•38 min
What’s holding you back from having good sex? Is it self-confidence? A problem with your partner? Are you under so much stress that it’s impossible to feel erotic and turned on? In today’s Best Of episode, I’m talking about the 6 most common roadblocks to sex and how to move past them. I’ll talk you through how to navigate each of them and also take your questions on personal sexual roadblocks. For example, if you’re coupled, is it cheating to get on OnlyFans? What do you do if you’re not always...
Apr 21, 2023•36 min
It’s a new day in the world of cannabis and sex. So many of you have asked me for this show! While wide scale research is still thin, there are many encouraging signs that cannabis can help you unlock more sexual pleasure, whether it's erotic arousal, help with erections, less anxiety, or less pain. But I get it: cannabis isn’t legal everywhere! And it’s also not right for everyone. So on today’s mini show, I’ll be discussing the latest research on cannabis and sex, how to know if it's a good ch...
Apr 20, 2023•23 min
What’s a common stereotype you’ve heard about sex? Maybe it’s that “guys just want one thing” or that “once you have kids, say goodbye to your sex life.” But not only are these stereotypes tiresome on a societal level, they actually hurt your sex life. Why? Because if you buy them, they limit your pleasure potential. So on today’s show, I reveal the top 3 sexual stereotypes penis owners and vulva owners told me they were tired of, and the new truths that are going to empower you in bed. I also g...
Apr 18, 2023•29 min
There’s a lot to be said for sex toys. For one, they stimulate nerve endings much deeper than hands alone can reach – and that’s true no matter what genitals you’ve got. But how do you incorporate toys into partnered sex? And which ones are right for your body to give you mind-blowing orgasms? On today’s episode, we’re talking all things sex toys so you can play in new and different ways. First, is it alright to always bring a vibe to partnered sex? One penis owner says “absolutely.” Speaking of...
Apr 14, 2023•29 min
Have you ever used a “Yes, No, Maybe” List for sex? It’s a menu of sex acts that prioritizes consent and communication among sexual partners. It’s one of my hands-down favorite tools to explore new ideas and spice up sex lives. But how do you actually use the list and turn your choices into realities? On today’s show, I reveal my NEW and IMPROVED "Yes, No, Maybe" List, and show you how to use it individually or with a partner. I share new ideas we added to the list, like orgasm denial, bondage, ...
Apr 11, 2023•37 min
When you think about anal sex, what comes to mind? Does it make you feel turned on? Nervous? Like something you want to try or do more of, but you’re not sure about the best way to approach it? On today’s show, I help you get more comfortable with anal play by answering your top questions. How can you use foreplay and communication to relax into the experience? If you’ve tried anal play before but didn’t love it, what are some toys and techniques you can use to feel more pleasure? What’s the saf...
Apr 07, 2023•31 min
How do you give incredible, life-affirming oral sex to a vulva owner? While every body is different, I’m here to tell you that these are the techniques you absolutely need. First, we’ll talk the art of the tease. I explain how to use your tongue to intensify sensations and encourage arousal. I also get into everyone’s favorite: the Kivin Method. Next, I show you how to help facilitate a G-spot orgasm by answering your top questions. For example, when you’re 100% down to give oral but your partne...
Apr 04, 2023•53 min
What does it mean to be sexually confident? In my opinion, it comes from a sense of security in who you are, what you bring to the table, and knowing that it’s OK to ask questions. It’s not having all the answers, because let’s be honest: sex would be boring if we knew everything already. But when your self-image takes a hit, how do you recover your sexual confidence and combat performance anxiety? I’m talking to callers with precisely that question. What do you do when your partner keeps talkin...
Mar 31, 2023•33 min
