Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall define and discuss therapeutic separation, an intentional process crafted to help bring about safety, stability, and individual and relational insight. They consider the different types of therapeutic separation, the benefits of each approach, and how separation can be the greatest gift that a betraying partner can offer their spouse. TAKEAWAYS: [2:20] Defining therapeutic separation as a structured and temporary step in recovery. [3:55] Is...
Jul 31, 2025•23 min•Ep. 133
Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall continue their conversation about therapeutic separation, focusing on the impact that separation can have on children at different ages and stages. They explore ways to prove safety and stability for children throughout the process, navigating family events during separation, and why couples therapy may not be appropriate during a period of separation. This conversation provides exceptional insights into a critical step of healing after bet...
Jul 31, 2025•25 min•Ep. 134
Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen continue their discussion about discernment counseling. They consider how to determine what each person needs throughout the collaborative divorce process, how to protect children and pets throughout the journey, and realistic timelines when addiction is a factor in a relationship. Arlene shares advice, resources, and a message of hope and healing in the collaborative divorce process. TAKEAWAYS: [1:22] Determining what each person n...
Jul 08, 2025•38 min•Ep. 132
Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen explore the options available to couples who are on the fence about staying together or separating. They discuss discernment counseling, litigation, and collaborative divorce; and consider the benefits and difficulties associated with each route. Arlene is an advocate of restructuring the marriage or divorce through a discernment counseling process, and she shares the value of engaging in discernment counseling to explore whether th...
Jul 08, 2025•26 min•Ep. 131
Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty consider the role of a therapist as a witness – one that supports with empathy and compassion. They share the questions to ask a therapist before the first session, and how to identify the right trauma therapist that will lead you to recovery and healing. Healing is meant to happen in communities, and together Dr. Rob and O’Flaherty inspire and encourage listeners to connect with those that can be a witness to healing. TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] The place for empathy an...
May 15, 2025•23 min•Ep. 130
Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore witnesses – the people who have seen your experiences and are ready to help you move forward. When you begin questioning whether your experience was real, why you acted out the way you did, or what really happened, a witness can offer direction and healing as you move forward, without the demonization and destigmatization that often faces addicts. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from incident trauma, ancestral trauma, prolonged trau...
May 15, 2025•41 min•Ep. 129
Adam Nisenson and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about betrayed men. They share the worst advice a betrayed man can hear, how to determine if reconciliation is the right next step, and the reality that being cheated on does not justify cheating. Adam shares resources, including The ManKind Project, that have helped him through his own healing and how to engage men who have no interest in therapy. TAKEAWAYS: [1:44] Reconciling is possible, but not always preferred. [3:40] Therapy for the men...
May 01, 2025•26 min•Ep. 128
Adam Nisenson, also known as The Betrayal Shrink, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Together with Dr. Rob he highlights the need for betrayed men to have support and healing just as much as women do. He shares his own healing journey, the support that he offers men who have been betrayed, and why he believes that his own betrayal experience was actually worth it. TAKEAWAYS: [2:25] The depth of Adam’s betrayal as a man. [6:20] Adam recalls his fe...
Apr 24, 2025•32 min•Ep. 127
Erin Snow is the Clinical Director at Seeking Integrity, CSAT, and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She and Dr. Rob discuss a week-by-week overview of residential treatment, the key points of trauma work and treatment, and the hope that she regularly sees as addicts encounter consequences, confront early trauma, and what it really takes to heal individuals and their loved ones from addiction. TAKEAWAYS: [2:08] Erin’s journey toward Seeking Integrity. [4:50] The healing at Seeking Integr...
Apr 17, 2025•36 min•Ep. 126
Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz continue their discussion about the connection between intimacy and sex. She highlights the role of hormones in sex addiction and betrayal, addresses the myths of monogamy, and counters the dangerous statement that too many betraying partners tell themselves, because what you don’t know actually will hurt you, will hurt your partner, and will hurt everyone around you. TAKEAWAYS: [1:22] Coming to peace with the trauma that happens in betrayal. [4:25] Who were you be...
Mar 27, 2025•26 min•Ep. 125
Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz discuss the connection between intimacy and sex – what it is, how it varies based on age, gender, and culture, and what a partner’s betrayal really means about the relationship. The author of The Intimacy Solution , Dr. Erika explores the connection between sex and intimacy at all stages of life and answers the question that so many betrayed partners grapple with – “If you really loved me, why would you do this?” TAKEAWAYS: [2:28] Dr. Erica defines the key differen...
Mar 20, 2025•30 min•Ep. 124
Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty continue their discussion about trauma. How can recovering addicts find the healing that they need when trauma is still unknown? How can you gather the right team to support you in your recovery work? How can you find peace following big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma? They answer these questions and consider the gift of working on yourself and the power of standing on your own two feet and finding your voice as you navigate your recovery journey. TAKEAWAYS: [1:27] ...
Jan 02, 2025•33 min•Ep. 123
Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore trauma – what exactly is it, how does it come about, and what can you do about it? They consider the wounded healer, the importance of integrating all lived experiences to become whole again, and the role of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from incident trauma, ancestral trauma, prolonged trauma, and more, and she cautions listeners against marginalizing the damaging effects of true trauma in f...
Dec 26, 2024•32 min•Ep. 122
Dr. Rob and Tamara Cooper continue their discussion about codependency, boundaries, and the communal value of sharing your experience with others who have found themselves in similar situations. Tamara highlights the Empowered Women Retreat, a place for betrayed partners to heal in a safe and supportive space, as well as affordable options for healing for those who don’t have the resources for therapy. TAKEAWAYS: [1:13] How does codependency fit into addiction and trauma betrayal? [4:15] Addicti...
Nov 27, 2024•34 min•Ep. 121
Dr. Rob and Tamara Cooper explore the isolating and painful blaming and shaming that betrayed partners often experience while their partners are surrounded by support. Betrayed partners often torture themselves by asking what they could have done differently to prevent their partner from acting out, and Tamara has an answer for that. Her passion for supporting betrayed partners is obvious and genuine, and she offers a glimpse into the hope and healing that can be yours if you allow it. TAKEAWAYS...
Nov 21, 2024•34 min•Ep. 120
Dr. Rob and Tami share what a couple can expect when they sit down and talk with Dr. Rob in person or over Zoom when they are ready to address their infidelity and addiction issues. How do you know if a residential treatment is right for you? What do you do when your spouse still continues to lie to you after formal disclosure? All these questions answered, and more! TAKEAWAYS: [0:45] How long does it take to rewire a porn-addicted mind? [4:50] Addicts think, ‘they can’t live without this’ but w...
Oct 15, 2024•36 min•Ep. 119
Dr. Rob and Lora continue their discussion about self-awareness and honoring self while also thriving in a connected partnership. Leaving your partner doesn’t make the pain entirely go away, so you have to work to honor yourself whether you choose to stay or leave. Surround yourself with people who can support you and remind you of who you really are beyond what happened to you. There are great motivating factors behind an affair and an addiction, and understanding both will make all the differe...
Sep 26, 2024•30 min•Ep. 118
Lora Cheadle joins Dr. Rob to discuss the journey of self-discovery that the spouse must take after betrayal. Moments of vulnerability and self-disclosure can bring happiness into a healing marriage while also triggering feelings of old hurt, leaving spouses feeling angry and confused about whether or not they really trust their partner again. Lora understands that while you may have been victimized, you get to choose whether or not you will continue to be a victim. TAKEAWAYS: [1:59] A little bi...
Sep 19, 2024•32 min•Ep. 117
Dr. Rob continues his conversation with Dr. Geoff Goodman about the power of the 12 Step program, which worked for Geoff when nothing else did. Finding an effective therapist who can support you and your partner requires so much more than just delving into the past - it requires making demands and setting goals that you can realistically achieve as you move forward. One huge component of recovery for both you and your partner is finding the right support groups. If the first one isn’t a good fit...
Sep 12, 2024•30 min•Ep. 116
Dr. Rob welcomes back podcast guest Dr. Geoff Goodman for a conversation about the impact that addiction has on relationships. He offers insights into the struggle of not only the addict, but of their partner as well, and shares his experience with falling in love with a woman who did not know that he was an addict. Some partners are more supportive and involved while others appear to be disinterested or even disgusted and fed up. No matter what scenario you’re in, there is hope for finding a li...
Sep 05, 2024•30 min•Ep. 115
Dr. Rob continues his discussion with Josh Nichols on some of the common tactics addicts and abusers use to gaslight their victims. In this episode, Josh focuses on the person who is receiving the gaslight treatment. Whatever you might be going through, there is no shame in staying with your addict. Sometimes the best thing for your family is to work through the issues, and sometimes the best thing for your family is for you to leave. Each case is individual to the person, but the most important...
Jul 31, 2024•27 min•Ep. 114
Dr. Rob talks with Josh Nichols about common gaslighting tactics addicts and manipulative people tend to use. We like to think the world might be full of these calculating abusers, but often times these tactics are used as a knee-jerk reaction and come from a place of survival. Today, Josh offers some tips on how to spot a gaslighter and what you might be feeling from some of their gaslighting actions. TAKEAWAYS: [2:10] A little bit about Josh and why he wanted to talk about gaslighting. [2:55] ...
Jul 18, 2024•27 min•Ep. 113
Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Bentley join Dr. Rob to talk about female sex addiction and the damage it can cause families. Both Lacy and Heather share their personal experience with being the ‘other woman’ and how, despite it going against everything they believed in, they still continued down a path of destruction. When it comes to any form of addiction, what we're really fighting against is deeply broken attachment wounds. Find out more on today’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [2:40] A little bit about ...
May 03, 2024•55 min
Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was actually going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. This episode is part two of these two women sharing their very personal story of how they found out about their husbands’ addictions and how they got through it. TAKEAWAYS: [3:15] Hindsight is...
Mar 16, 2024•48 min
Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. These two women share their stories and also share why they decided to stay with their husbands and support them in their addiction. TAKEAWAYS: [2:15] Today we hear from two women who have gone through...
Mar 15, 2024•44 min
Jason VanRuler is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author dedicated to impacting those who make an impact. His first book, Get Past Your Past, is all about establishing a mindset of emotional health and resilience to find lasting wholeness. In this episode, Jason shares his personal self-development journey, why going to therapy is so difficult for so many people, and why our natural inclination is to hurt others; intentionally or not. TAKEAWAYS: [4:15] A little bit about Jason and how he became...
Feb 15, 2024•44 min
Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about PTSD, intentional listening to your partner, and how to regain your partner’s trust. TAKEA...
Feb 08, 2024•27 min
Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about the definition of betrayal, why porn affects so many people, and why it’s okay to ask for ...
Feb 01, 2024•35 min
Dr. Rob and Tami talk about the healing properties a journal practice can have. A listener wrote that her therapist wants her to journal out the resentment and anger that her SA has caused her, but the mere thought of doing this gets her re-triggered and angry all over again. Is there really a point to all of this aside from re-remembering the betrayal? TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My SA husband’s entire family has suffered from some sort of sexual addiction or abuse. Is all of this hereditary? [8:30] How c...
Jan 04, 2024•33 min
Dr. Rob and Tami break down the gray area between just having fun, being “at-risk” for an addiction, and being a full-blown addict. It can be difficult to define the line fully when you’re in the middle of a “good time.” Dr. Rob offers various considerations for you to think about to determine whether you’re barely teetering the line or if you’re in a bad and unsustainable place. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I believe my partner is a narcissist and a sex addict. He’s hurting me but I can’t seem to walk away...
Dec 21, 2023•33 min
