Tantra For Same Sex Couples

it was wild. Elena and I were talking like last week as we were organizing stuff for the launch, and I was looking on my computer and I was searching Sex's Medicine in my desktop, and they came up with this whole map, this whole path of us relaunching Sex's Medicine in September of twenty twenty three. So Aleida, you

and not we had already planned to do this. We had, like we had recording dates scheduled for March of twenty twenty three, like you flew to Canada and we like recorded a bunch of content and we were gonna like re record Sex's Medicine episodes and relaunch Sex's Medicine September of twenty twenty three. But then my house burned down, and here we are today, so we just had to like put press pause on it for two years.

be answering one of your questions. This is so, this is why your questions are so important. We are doing an entire episode to answer one question that one of y'all sent to us on Instagram or Instagram account. We're still at Authentic TNTRA. We hope that changes, but you can all search us. It's the tune the holistic sexology on Instagram everywhere else let us change our names. But Instagram's like no, you have to be authentic tantru forever,

and we're like no, please, let us go anyway. On Instagram, someone sent us a question asking about can you practice tontra? Can to women practice TNTRA? Can you practice TNTRA is the same sex couple And we are here to say absolutely, of course, of course, of course, of course, but we want to make some very specific distinctions in regards to what we're referring to is tntra and how that relates

to tontra for the same sex couples. Excuse my chihuahua, who is a monster who you can probably hear barking in the background, attacking random people in the background. That's my CHUAA okay, So but before we dive into that, Elena is is going to We're gonna she's gonna lead our hot topic portion for today. So okay, Elena, you're on.

And if a woman's withholding from you, guys, it's not her fault. It's your responsibility to actually change your energetic frequency with time, effort, and patience so that she will then open up to you. Yes, it takes effort, Yes, it requires discipline. Yes, yet she may not open up at first, and you need to recognize that that's just a reality of life.

we're talking about. So in that type of relationship dynamic, UH traditionally, yes, it's important for UH me as a woman to feel supported and to have my needs for trust and you know, and honoring and all that met. The issue for me is that that, like this conversation about, you have to be more rooted in your masculine for her to want to be to magnetize, to be magnetized. Look, I will be magnetized to you when you do the dishes without me having to fucking ask you to do

the dishes. I will be If you want me to like feel more supported and to what open and blossom to you, then then stop leaving piles of your shit all over the house and making me be your mother to ask you to pick them up. So, like, one of the biggest things that makes my yoni dry up like a fucking raisin. I'm gonna cuss for this, like seriously, is when I have to be your mommy. When I

have to be your mommy. And I don't know if this is specific to like gen X men specifically, And I'm gonna also say gen x white men, because you know I'm by racial, so you are always gonna get racial dynamics in this conversation because I have to fucking live them. So if I have to live them, then

you get to hear about them. Right. So I will say that growing up when my my black boyfriends, like black mamas will keep their house in shape, and my black boyfriends did not need to be told that they needed to do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, da da da dah. Like I would come over to their houses and it would be absolutely spotless, impeccable, and my boyfriends would be like, well, I'll call you back after I've

vacuumed and done the dishes and whatever. So I have never had an issue when I have been with black men. I have never had an issue with them leaving piles of their shit around the house. It has never been an issue. So I'm not saying the black man can't be message to I'm just telling you my dating experience, right. But with white gen x men, I am forever following you around asking you to like being your mommy. Okay, So the number one thing, it's not about you being

more masculine or maybe it is. It's about you being a fifty year old man and not a fourteen year old boy. So let's start there. So, if your version of masculinity does not include vacuuming, doing the fucking laundry without me asking you to do the laundry, folding the laundry after I've done it, like cleaning the toilet bowl, like basic shit without me having to ask you to do it, book the house cleaner if you don't want

to do it, Book the house cleaner. That like basic daily domestic stuff really really really meets needs for support. And this isn't just me. This is like there's articles there's about this, about like what is it called weaponized incompetence. There's articles about Sabrina Carpenter just released a whole ass album about Manchild, and like, can you just clean up your fucking shit so your your boomer mamas did not do justice. They have fucked us all up, just say

it's a boomer mom thing. I watched this up close and personal because I'm married to a white man with a boomer mom, so I get to see how this ship plays out, you know, and it's definitely your conditioning. So so if you really want her vagina to be an overflowing like like nectar waterfall kind of thing. Clean up your ship. That's that's what you That is how you need to get your pole erect. That that is the poll that you need to like anger into is clean up your shit. When about me having to ask,

all right, that's my rant? Sorry y'all. Sorry, I'll just bleep it out if you have to.

for the person who's doing all of that. And we know physiologically that stress is a lebido killer and a pleasure killer for most people. So that's another huge component of it. It's not just about you know, how you're feeling in your brain about the other person, It's also about whether your body is able to relax into a response, which she does talk a little bit about that with

responsive behavior, but he doesn't talk about the stress. Right now, we're talking about the stress component of that.

partners around the house. Now, I am gonna say, doctor, doctor Erickson and I have worked through this in counseling for many years, so we are no longer in this place. So the heat that you are feeling for me is not present time. Shit, we have worked through this in counseling. But I'm just saying his mama could have saved us

a lot of money in counseling. I'm just sad. But this concept of like rooting into your masculine poll when when you hear that, guys and ladies, when you hear like, oh, I want him to be rooted in his masculine pole. Are you thinking about him vacuuming the house? No, no, oh,

because that's woman's work. So what I'm saying to you is your concepts when we're talking about these kind of like gross concepts of polarity, you know, these concepts of polarity which are based on these like traditional gender roles. When we're thinking about that, like the actual the actual thing that you needed to be you need to be rooted in is equity. Is equity, is shared shared relationship,

dynamic shared mutuality. Because I'll tell you, like it turns me on when my husband when he does the dishes and cleans up the kitchen and remembers to put the dog food away, I'm like, and I when he makes me coffee in the morning, Oh my god, that gets me so wet. Like these acts of service, these acts of service really meet my needs for support. And when I feel supported as a badass, powerful tongue, which the chini in the world. When I feel supported, that that

is what gives me the space to melt. That's what gives me the space to surrender. Is when when I got you, well I know you got me because of what you did I don't care what you say. I care what you do, and I want to see what you do to support me. I don't want to have to guess. I want to walk out and be like, oh damn, he arranged all the pillows. What a beautiful Tontra temple. I didn't have to do it myself. Anything,

I don't have to do myself. I'm gonna feel supported when you do it, so I don't have to do it. When I don't have to think about it, woo, that meets my needs for support. And when my needs for support are met, all of the stress starts to decompress. And when the stress decompresses, my libido arises. And I mean, we're off to the race as my friends. So there we go, beautiful.

about the polarity conversation. Just like you said a minute ago, it distills the person down to specific set gender norms that are created, you know, within the context of our dysfunctional system, right, our white patriarchal, classist system, like our roles, our gender roles fit within that. So, I mean, it's entirely possible that there are people who have done lots of self examining and they really want to fit into

these traditional, you know, masculine, feminine stereotypes for their relationship. Cool, have at it, Great for you, but I don't think that's the majority of people, right. There's a lot of people who have all kinds of different dynamics within their relationship. And one of the first thing that came to my mind for me was he said, oh gosh, she said a number of things, but one of the words that's

jumped out at me was this concept of dominance. Which, yeah, a lot of cis women do want to be dominated. That's a common fantasy, a common kink for many women. But there's a lot a lot of women who want to dominate, and there's a lot of men who want a dominant woman as well as as their preferred way of engaging with power in their relationships. So it's not that simple as just like you're not being masculine enough in order to let her open. Right, in most cases, Additionally.

or another person, you know, specific aspects of a relationship. Again, there can be agreemance within a relationship, right, so like one person might agree to be more responsible in this way or that way, but it's not appropriate to just assign people their responsibilities based off of their sex or gender as well, and even if you do, it's still both people's responsibility to care and tender for their relationship.

And your sexuality in a sexual relationship is a primary factor in the reason you're in a relationship with that person, so both of you need to be engaged in that and having conversations with that. And it also links into how few people in this country have learned how to communicate about their sexuality and communicate with their partner about their sexuality and about what's going on for them and to troubleshoot.

Cause you know, I was telling Elena before we before we started recording, the people that I've come encountered in the field over seventeen years who are the most focused on these polarity dynamics are also the most propensity for gas lighting and predatory behavior. I'm just gonna say, and the and the schools for TNTRA schools that I've encountered, or TANTRA teachers that I've encountered that are really into this, you know polarity thing. A polarity has nothing to do

with actual Tentra lineage based entre. I mean, go google polarity and like, real Tentra doesn't fucking exist. It's a totally a neotontra concept. And as we've said, neo TNTRA is a result of colin isa and violence, and so it carries that, it carries the violence of colonization within it. And so again when it comes to polarity, there's no there's no real authentic tunture teachings on fucking polarity, and

the neo TNTRA teachers on polarity. Honestly, what I've seen is there's a propensity as I've said, for gas lighting, psychological abuse, and predatory behavior, or there's complaints against the teachers or the schools for predatory behavior. So I mean, you know, actual TNTRA focuses on union and balance. That's what it focuses on. It focuses on union, uniting duality, transforming the concept of duality by recognizing the inherent union of all expressions of life. And it focuses on balance.

We all, as human beings have masculine and feminine In fact, we've got masculine channels and feminine channels in the body, and the important thing is for them to be balance. That's the point of your tenttr yoga practice. When you're doing energy body yoga, you are balancing your energy bodies. So sometimes your masculine channels need more energy, or sometimes your feminine channels need more energy, or maybe your whole freaking energy body needs more energy. Right, it's not about

this dualistic dynamic. That's another way another thing about neo. Why you know it's not real contra because real tunture is about dismantling duality, not reinforcing it. And this whole conversation about polarity is reinforcing concepts of duality, I mean. And then this brings us, this brings us to this brings us to the topic that we're gonna talk about today, which is can you practice contra as the same sex couple? So, of course, so I'm gonna circle back to that in

a moment of the of course why. But what I want to point to, what I want to point to right now is like, historically, contric Buddhism was about transforming rigid concepts of rigid structures, rigid structures of hierarchy and rigid structures, rigid structures of patriarchy and male versus female and duality and even heterosexuality. There's historical record and contrac Buddhism of non binary and trans people, and they were referred to as pondicas or pondiicas wherever you put that emphasis.

And so so these were these were considered to be shamans. These were considered to be like potent, powerful, kind of magical beings that that had both that weren't necessarily masculine or feminine, but were a beautiful fusion of both. And so they were viewed as like precious and rare and like again like unicorns, so to speak, because they walked

in all worlds. Right. So, so that that is a that is a historical reference in contried Buddhism to the celebration and the upliftment of intersex, non binary, trans and even homosexual individual It was people who did not fit into the rigid binary roles were considered fucking magic.

the magic sauce. We're Tontra was not fucking mainstream. Tontic Buddhism was not mainstream. It was underground. It was subversive, it was transit transgressive, it was fucking revolutionary. We were not we were not. The Tontic Buddhists were not the people at the top of the you know, top of the food chain. They weren't the fucking Brahmins. They were the underground. They were the outcasts. They were the untouchables, many of them. So that is the roots of contraed Buddhism.

So so when it comes to you as a as a non non normative, heteronormative and nonsense gender person looking at at TNTRA and neotontrin feeling unincluded, you're right, you're you're right. But real TNTRA does include you. Real TNTRA actually fucking celebrates you.

gender roles, right, And as you were talking about, like, it doesn't really have anything to do with real tntra, So you're probably going to go more into this. But in our lineage of practice, we define mantra as weaving light with sound and form. Right, That is the mantra that we do. It is energy work, right, and everything else that we teach is to go along with that energy work. It's not the tntra. The tntra is the

energy work itself. So we we've light and sound with form, the light being our visualization, the sound being launchic syllable, the form being our bodies.

teachings that we offer are also for everyone. So there there really isn't a you know, a hierarchy or a differentiation between you know, practicing it as an individual, practicing it in a sist heat couple, or practicing it in a homosexual couple or any other congomeration of of of queer coupledom.

healing methods. Essentially, when you're practicing real contra, real sexual tentra, authentic sexual tentra, what you are doing is applying your non sexual practice, your non sexual energy body yoga practice, to your sexual activity. The beautiful thing about cultivating non sexual contra practice is you very quickly begin to realize that you can make any activity tontric by your attention,

your intention, your focus, and your awareness. No matter what you're doing, it can become a tontric practice because real, authentic TNTRA is an internal practice. It's something we're doing internally with our awareness, with our attention, with our focus, with our mantra, with our chanting, with our breath. You can practic this tntra walking. You can practice tntra doing the dishes. You can practice contra making sweet love with

your partner. You can practice tnture when you're pooping. In fact, we have a video on I think on our YouTube channel and maybe our Instagram channel. I think it got taken down Instagram. We can post it again, but it's definitely on YouTube because I was watching it the other day. You can practice tntrare while pooping. You can chant mantra and do energy body yoga while you're sitting on the toilet pooping. And in fact that it was an instruction from my lama, so there's not one moment when you

are practicing authentic tntra. Not one moment is wasted, Not one moment of your human experience is wasted. You can practice tonture with every breath if you want to, and at a certain point, you get to a point where everything you do is your tenttra practice. Whether you're intentionally doing it or whether you're living it as an embodied experience, everything that you do becomes tntra. There's no separation between

your tntra and your life. So that's that's that's the that's the goal of practice, so that you can actually leave practice away. The analogy give like leave your practice behind. The analogy is like if you're crossing a river. You need a raft to cross the river. It's a tool, but once you get to the once you get to the other side of the river, you're not going to carry your raft with you, right, Well, that's the dharma.

That's that's tantra practice. Is that you use it to get to a certain point and then when you are actually firmly anchored in that level of realization, you don't need to continue carrying it with you, or maybe you just actually carry one stick you change the shape of the raft and turned it into a walking stick to help your journey now, to help this leg of your journey. Right, So it changes your relationship to the actual practice changes as your realization as a result of your practice evolves

and changes and grows. So so yeah, so we're talking about tntra for same sex people. That's a lot. So here we go. So, so the non sexual I think we've we sufficiently answered, Yes, the non sexual yoga practice. As long as you are human and you have attention and the desire and the intention, you can practice non sexual contra. Can you, as the same sex couple, apply your non sexual tentra yoga practice to your sexuality? Absolutely? Of course, Why would it be any different for you

than anybody else? Of course you can. You're a human being. Your genitals are irrelevant when it comes to tantra. I mean they're relevant because you want to know how to how to make them work. You know how to make them,

how to make them cream. I want to say, you know, I don't know what I was thinking of Princess Saga, right, how to make them generate the nectar that they are that they're designed to generate, So they're important that way, but they're irrelevant in terms of like they're just different parts, you know, like of course, of course, of course, of course, of course you can you can apply your non sexual practice to your sexual practice. And are there specific methods

sexual methods for same sex people? Yes, actually there are, I could take them with it. Didn't think for a moment. Yes, actually there are differences if you are in the same sex couple as with lotus, which is we're gonna say vagina or volvan vagina we're gonna reference as lotus. And then if you're in the same sex couple with a vazra, a divine thunderbolt of wisdom or otherwise no as a penist, but I prefer divine thunderbolt of wisdom, and I would

guess y'all do too, whether your divine thunderbolt of wisdom. Yes, you are going to run the energy body yogas slightly differently when you are in when you are partnered with with with this with the same sex and when we do our Tuntra Couples are Tantra Coaching for Couples Tuntra Healing for Couples program in twenty twenty six that will be open for heterosexual and same sex couples, and so we'll give those instructions during class, like the differences in

the energy body yoga depending on if you're playing with the same same puzzle pieces or opposite puzzle pieces. Yeah, okay, I went on forever. Did you want to add anything to that, Elena.

things is tontra with with with another Lotus owner. And so I'll share a little bit about my experience in terms of how the adjustments that that that occur naturally is a result and how the energy flows. So when it comes to when it came for me to practice ton with women with other women a sexual contra, we're saying, so we do the same, you know, some of the same practices. Is like you know, looking into each other's

eyes and harmonizing the breath. So when two or more people breathe together at the same rate, at the same pace, their heart beats synchronized, brain wave synchronized. I'm a big fan of having my heart, heart beat synchronized and my brain waves synchronized before I try to synchronize my genitals. I'm just saying, I'm very much a top down person when it comes to that, or a heart down person

when it comes to that. And then when it comes to the yoga breathing practices, yeah, energy flows, and you know, absolutely for anyone, anyone who's bisexual, those of us who are bisexual, and I happen to believe that if we removed or if our cultural conditioning looked a different way than it does today, I am a believer that I would say I truly believe that at least eighty percent of the population is bisexual. I really feel like bisexuality

is normal. I do. It's like it seems it's like, I mean, if you think of when your children and children, don't you know, they're they like they play with each other's genitals, they'd look at their own genitals like I mean, anyway that's my personal opinion. I know, and I've seen it elsewhere, but I just can't remember where.

way or the other. Like I've the lifetimes that I've lived just in the last two years, much less, you know, the last fifty years, Like I'm not the same person

fifty years later that I was though before. So so I will say that my my sexual orientation, or I would say my sexual movement in the world, not necessarily orientation, but how I choose to move in the world sexually has evolved tremendously, and I've been more inclined towards you know, homosexuality and other client and more inclined towards heterosexuality at different points in my life, but definitely fluid in that term.

So speaking from my experience practicing contru with with many women, I mean it just for those of us, says I was going to say, who are bisexual. There is a difference in the way the energy flows when you're when you when you're playing with somebody who has the same genital anatomy, like, there is a different quality and which is part of why we do that. It's a different, you know, flavor of food, so to speak. It's a different different, different taste, different flavor, just like with every

person we engage with sexual sexually. Every there is a difference based on the sexual anatomy. Absolutely a different quality and a different energetic exchange. And what I found really notable is over time, so when I was predominantly in relationship having sexual intimacy with women predominantly so like not eighteen to ninety percent of my sex was happening with another Yoni owner, another Lotus owner, another woman, the channels in my energy body actually adapted to accommodate that. So

when I'm having and this don't. I haven't had an opportunity to gauge this on other people's bodies. So maybe we can do a study of, you know, tracking energy channels and seeing how they line up and seeing how they shift and change when we're making love with different people. But when I was having sex predominantly with vajras with men, my channels in my like my down'd avoiding wind channels, and my channels and my lower end we pointed predominantly

downward to meet the penetration. Right, So the channels like coming down my cervix and just like in my whole lower area. And we're not talking I'm not talking about in the nerve pathways. I'm talking about channels, my energy channels. So the energy channels can move and change and adapt to meet the needs to help us digest and metabolize the energy that we're receiving from our environment more effectively.

And so when I was having sex with heterosexual men a lot, or you know, my number one food source, shall we say, my energy channels were pointing downwards to

accommodate the penetration. When I was predominantly having sex as with women as my predominant food source for sex, my channels actually shifted so that they were pointing out like towards the anterior of my body, so no longer downward, but more anterior in order to receive more of a full whole body exchange as opposed to just the exchange

from the lingam. So that was very interesting because it definitely changed the quality of my orgasm and it definitely changed the quality of my of my sexual experience because it was moving through like different channels of the energy body. And then you know, when I when I was no longer having having sex as often with women, the channels and I'm predominantly monogamous in a heterosexual dynamic, my channels are all, you know, pointing downward to receive, to receive

my partner again, my male partner again. So that was my experience of kind of shifting with the energy channels and how they can how they will adapt to or can adapt to to to receive the love essentially the medicine,

the food, sex, sex and food sex and nourishment. Right to receive the nourishment that we're receiving from our partners, regardless of how that energy is being put into our bodies, whether be through you know, physical penetration or you know, surface activity or just a different kind of penetration, because I was still being penetrated, but I just wasn't being penetrated by a penis when I was with women, I will say I was still being penetrated, just not with

a penis. I was being penetrated with you know, other things anyway, So that's along, That's a lot. So okay, what do you think about that, Lena?

communication practices, yoni massage, partner orgasmic awareness practice. These are all things we teach that are beautiful, connective, pleasure expanding, juicy couple practices, and your genital makeup has nothing to do with whether you can practice them or not.

they function for optimal performance. Shall we say it. I don't mean, you know, performance in a bad way, but just to you know, optimally bring you bliss because you're designed for bliss. Your body, your your body is designed for pleasure. And that's just a fact. Like pleasure is our is our is our compass, it's our guidance system. If it feels good, we want to move towards it. If it hurts, we want to avoid it. That's like that's what fucking kept us alive for millennia, right, A

very simplified version of that. But your your genitals are built for pleasure, So understanding how they function to bring you and your partner the most, the most pleasure is really important. Education And just want to reiterate again that we are going to be So if you're thinking, well, how can I learn all this awesomeness, well, guess what. In February of twenty twenty six, we're going to open

registration for a Tontra for couples. I think we're calling it Cultivating Sacred Intimacy Tentre Healing for Couples program that myself and doctor Ericson and Elena and maybe her partner going to be teaching you. So registration for that is going to open in February. February of twenty twenty six, So make sure you are at Holistic Sexology Institute dot

com and signing up for notifications. If you just signed up for your Sex's Medicine podcast day weekly doses in your inbox every day, you will get notifications of any of our programs. But we are going to be teaching a Tentra Healing for Couples program in twenty twenty six. Registration opens February. Fingers crossed. You know, we were going to do that before before the how week week before the house burned out. No week after we'd registration, we're

uping registration for the Tatrina thing for couple. So we had to do it from Costa Rica, y'all. We had to do it from Costa Rica.

centered practices. So when we're doing this energy body yoga, we're always beginning and ending in the heart right, which really deepens our connection to ourselves. And when practice in partnership deepens our connection to our partner, as well, which is just you can't go wrong with that, right, Like, this is the gold standard for relationships when your hearts

are are purely beautifully connected to one another. And yeah, when we do that, our relationships get better, We communicate more clearly, we give each other more grace, We heal our wounds. And especially for men, men who have been socialized in men are people with penises who've been socialized in this country. One of the first things that happens to them as they are separated from their connection. They are separated. They're severed violently from their emotions, and they're

not loud to feel their emotions. And this gets in the way of connecting deeply with others and in their partnerships as well. So when we you know, refocus both with these energy body practices and these these sexual or connection based practices we're giving ourselves, they're they're they're getting the opportunity to heal that that connection wounds and to yeah, to rediscover it, right, to rediscover that connection and that that emotional literacy and uh what sort of vulnerability?

of the head and ends in the parandium. So what we often talk about is, you know, when people are in heterosexual union, there's an offshoot of the central channel that goes through the penis to the tip of the lingam and there's an offshoot of the central channel that goes from the central channel into the cervix. So when people are in union in a heterosexual couple, we've got that direct connection between the two central channels, so you're kind of connected and having this little bit of of

a merge with each other's energy bodies. Right, And when we're doing this with men in same sex couples, the same thing happens. It's just slightly altered.

downward avoiding winds actually arise in the rectum. And so this is one of the reasons that anal pleasure is so so profoundly important for all anus Ownershi, you meant and this owners, but for all of us is having anal pleasure can help remove and dissolve any obstacles in the downward voiding winds, allowing those downward voiding winds to rebalance.

It can improve your bowel function having any massage and anal pleasure, So your anus is a the second highest concentration of pleasure sensitive nerve endings, if there is such a thing. And also too, it's also the home of where the downward voiding winds arise in the body, and so it's a very very important energy center to pay attention to.

no need for specific genital makeup. Additionally, men who are tontric often engage in semen retention practices as well, and this is good for CIS men as well as homosexual or queer men. I think one of the main distinctions I want to make here, and the reason we're bringing it up, is because seman retention is often framed for men as a way to last longer for her, right.

So that's a very prominent way that people market semen retention, and so sometimes, you know, queer men and people with penises feel really left out of that conversation, like why would I practice this if this is just lasting longer for a female partner?

your semen, that increases your testosterone. Some of your androgens in the body, those hormones, and then it also helps you to what am I trying to say here, seman retention also helps you with your cultivation of multiple orgas as well. So if you didn't know this, men and people with penises, they can have more orgasms than just

an ejaculatory orgasm. They have a huge breath of orgasmic capacity, different juicy flavors that come from different parts of their body and are expressed differently, right, And semen retention is one of the kind of like one of the portals to getting there for many men. So that's a definite benefit for all men. And then it's also really wonderful for them to learn how to slow down and connect and connect to their pleasure and to connect to their partner during their sexual practice as well.

That's the thing. As I move, as I realize more and more Mahamoudra consciousness like just open void, spacious awareness in my you know, in my awareness, in my consciousness like the goal that like, enlightenment is not divorcing ourselves from our humanity. Enlightenment is about being fully human and being internally free, internally liberated from suffering. And you know, we are often our own worst enemies, as you know, this culture conditions us to be, and those of us

with CPDSD are definitely our worst enemies. Right. So so TNTRA, the tontric enlightenment is true is about ending suffering, ceasing suffering for all humans and all beings ultimately, but particularly for all humans. So for you, in regardless of w relationship orientation, how how you find love, regardless of who with whom, and how you find love, it's your birthright.

It's your birthright to know how to heal. It's your birthright to understand your energy body if you're if you're attracted to that and drawn to that, it's your birthright to understand how your energy body feeds and nourishes your physical body, and how you can use connection and pleasure to increase the energy in your body and to heal and transform. So so yeah, So hold on one second, I'm going to pause this. Yes.

all these nasty things that get stuck in ourselves. Right, And the way that we practice, we have this beautiful meshing of the energy body work of the five elements with our sexual practices but also our somatic practices, right, So somatic cor regular practices but also somatic sexual healing practices, and those two practices together I find create kind of like a bridge inside the body, right, because we're working on all of the blocks or obscurations or breaks in

our energy body from the inside out. When we're working in our central channel with elements, 're healing that way, and then when we're applying the somatic sexual healing principles, we're working essentially from the outside in to release trauma where it lives in the body. So that specific orientation allows us to do so much in terms of moving

towards health and well being. And you know, I just think about all of the ways that it has helped our students for the years transform judgments that they've had about themselves. And so I think a lot about like transforming judgment one might have about being queer, right, like internalized homophobia, transforming that in oneself, or judgments one may feel about engaging in anal sex or Yeah, just all of the trappings of our that our culture puts upon

queer people. That's something else that can be helped and transformed to a contric practice.

we're queer. I mean even the word I don't use the word queer because when I was coming up into early adulthood, like in the nineties, right, I graduated high school in ninety two, and I started like going to gay bars like hit eighteen at like three ninety fourths unlike that, graduated fromhigh school early, and so and I was, you know, go to gay bars and hang out with the gay folks, and like we didn't call ourselves queer because queer was a slur. That was a bad word.

It was like gay was was like that was a happy thing. Right, So for me, the word queer is still like carries the weight of that shame because it was a curse word. It was a cuss word when I was you know, coming up and coming up in the day. So it wasn't it wasn't the word of liberation that it is now twenty years later, twenty five years later. So so yeah, like that's such a beautiful point. Is Like, that's the thing about tontras, as we said to be to begin with, it's it's not about reinforcing

polarities and opposites and duality. It's about finding that point of union and also creating balance, creating balance where there's imbalance, because that's the key to wellness is balance. And so if we are holding on to this, this this distorted constant of self that we are somehow wrong and bad because we don't fit into the magabox, so to speak,

that is an imbalance. That's an imbalance in our psyche, and that is part of this purification and this healing that can occur through authentic lineage based huntra, which we are still teaching, y'all. We're just not certifying in it, but we are still teaching it, and we have, oh my god, so many incredible certified practitioners that you can choose from. You can see them on our website Holistic

Sexology dot com. We're very proud of everybody who has achieved their certification because it was no joke, and we are still teaching these methods. Elena and I are still laying it down and our instructors are still laying it down for your personal healing. We're not going to take

that away from you. Yeah, yay. So I think the last thing I want to say on this topic before we close out is I just want to say that that for those of us who don't fit in the box, and for those of you who do identify as queer, trans, non binary, homosexual, however you identify, I am sorry that you have not found a home in neotntra. But let's also just recognize that once again that the roots of neo Tantra are rooted in colonialism, and there isn't space

for us in colonialism. They tried to fucking wipe us out right, So I'm just saying, so that's why know where it comes from. But there is space for you and authentic lineage based entra, not just our tentra, but tntra in general. There is space for you and in real tntra because real entre is for humans. It's for human beings to actualize their full human potential, which is ultimate realization. Yeah, yeah, all right, anything else to Slena.

Thank you so much for all your comments. Thank you so much for all your comments. I'm gonna say it again, thank you so much for all your comments. We love responding and thank you. I mean it just it uplifts us and brings us so much like encouragement. Encouragement when we know that you like it and we know that we're like serving you up some good, delicious food, it makes me want to cook in the kitchen, makes us want to cook in the kitchen. So thank you really. Oh yeah, ah, they's got one more.

We don't want to miss any questions because they're important and they're valuable and we want to answer them for you. So dm us your questions on Instagram. Also send us your questions at Questions at Holistic Sexology Institute dot com and we're so excited to answer them, and we'll either answer them on an episode or we'll answer them on an Instagram video. I had a really good one that

I did. I think last weekend, we had a beautiful question come in about a transgender woman wanting to know about if practicing seminarytention you know, is a thing, it would be a beneficial for them as they you know, transition.

And so there's a wonderful answer to that question, because these are important things to know, as you know, with different body parts and different orientations, and how is how is this how is this energy body yoga going to affect you both energetically and physically, We need to know this. We need to know all right, my friends, thank you so much. We're gonna sign out. See you next week.

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