What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “maintenance sex”? For a lot of people, it feels unromantic - maybe even a little cringy. It doesn’t sound poetic or passionate. But what if we’re thinking about it all wrong? In this episode, we’re challenging the way we see maintenance sex. Instead of seeing it as leftovers or a chore, what if we saw it as a sacred act of love, something we choose to do, not because we’re wildly turned on, but because we care about keeping that thread of intimacy ali...
Jul 18, 2025•13 min•Ep. 378
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “We should have sex… but I’m just not feeling it” - only to go through the motions and walk away feeling disconnected? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re talking about a concept that might just change how you think about intimacy: Good Enough Sex. It’s a model developed by sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy that shifts the goal of sex away from pressure and perfection and toward emotional connection. We’ll talk about why sex in long-term relation...
Jul 11, 2025•17 min•Ep. 377
Why do you react the way you do in sexual situations, whether it’s craving something specific, avoiding certain dynamics, or feeling stuck in the same patterns? And why does your partner seem to approach sex so differently? In this episode, we explore how the Enneagram can shed light on your unique relationship to intimacy. The Enneagram isn’t just another personality test - it’s a deep dive into the core fears, desires, and motivations that shape how we show up in the world, including in our se...
Jul 04, 2025•21 min•Ep. 376
What if sexual discipline isn’t about restriction, but about freedom? In this episode, I’m exploring a concept that doesn’t get much airtime in Christian marriage spaces: sexual discipline within marriage. Too often, it’s framed as something just for singles, something to “hold onto” until marriage. But what if it’s actually a key to deeper connection, emotional wholeness, and a healthier sex life with your spouse? I’ll talk about how sexual discipline isn’t about control for control’s sake, but...
Jun 27, 2025•17 min•Ep. 375
You’ve probably heard it, or maybe even said it: “Our marriage is great… except for the sex.” On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there’s hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn’t just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it’s often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I’m explaining why sexual disconnect in a marriage is rarely just about sex. I’ll talk about how issues like emotional distance, unresolved confl...
Jun 20, 2025•12 min•Ep. 374
In this episode, we’re diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It’s what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let’s talk about how growth in a relationship isn’t pain-free, and why it’s so tempting to wait for a magical thir...
Jun 13, 2025•18 min•Ep. 373
What I often see from those who listen to this podcast, or even from my clients, is that they want a quick fix to their problems in the bedroom. They think that if they learn the right position, or the perfect rhythm, or how to last longer, that it will magically fix all the issues they’re having. So let me say again….Better sex is not about technique. Technique won’t spark your desire again. Technique won’t make you feel wanted again. But it does feel like the easy answer. So if technique won’t...
Jun 06, 2025•13 min•Ep. 372
When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, “Where did that come from?” and your second is, “Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?” These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getting ideas from somewhere else? In this episode, we’re slowing that moment down. Instead of jumping to...
May 30, 2025•13 min•Ep. 371
Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn’t feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they’re asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what’s really happening in relationships where one partner feels like they can never give enough, and the other seems to always want somet...
May 23, 2025•14 min•Ep. 370
Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you’re starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they’re carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they’re the only one who still wants intimacy. We’ll unpack why this happens, what constant initiating can do to a relationship, and whether stepping back might actually help, or hurt, your connect...
May 16, 2025•12 min•Ep. 369
Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn’t want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You’ll hear why focusing too much on “your” version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what “real” sex looks like, we’ll unpack how to move from frustration to deeper connection. This is a conversation about l...
May 09, 2025•15 min•Ep. 368
Ever found yourself pulled out of a beautiful, intimate moment by the thought, “Ugh, now I have to clean up”? You’re definitely not alone. For many women, post-sex cleanup can feel like an annoying chore that disrupts connection and intimacy. In this episode, we’re getting real about why this moment matters—and how to simplify the cleanup process so you can stay present, connected, and fully enjoy that sweet afterglow with your spouse.
May 02, 2025•10 min•Ep. 367
What if the covenants we make in the Temple are more than just promises—what if they’re a roadmap to deeper connection and intimacy? In this episode, we’re diving into the sacred covenants made in the Temple by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—not as a checklist of rules, but as a powerful pattern of personal and relational growth. Whether you share my faith or not, this conversation has the potential to shift the way you view your marriage, your relationship with God, ...
Apr 25, 2025•46 min•Ep. 366
Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a power struggle? You're not alone. Whether you're the partner who wants sex more often or the one who wants it less, the imbalance can create tension, guilt, and frustration on both sides. In my normal open and honest way, we are going to discuss why the lower-desire partner often ends up in control of the sexual rhythm in a relationship. We’ll dive into the emotional weight both partners carry, explore how this dynamic affects connection, and share prac...
Apr 18, 2025•10 min•Ep. 365
Katelyn Peach, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is back for this episode where we talk about pelvic floor physical therapy for men. One of the biggest misconceptions that Katelyn sees in her practice is that men think that they either don’t have a pelvic floor or since they don’t have babies, their pelvic floor is never an issue. This is far from the truth! Katelyn lets us know how pelvic floor issues affect men, what she can do, and even what your first visit will look like. If you or your husband h...
Apr 11, 2025•31 min•Ep. 364
In this episode, Katelyn Peach, who is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, is going to be speaking with us about pelvic floor physical therapy for women. She treats patients with a variety of pelvic floor conditions so I was able to pick her brain on why you need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist, what she can do to help you, what that first visit will look like, and so much more! This is a must listen episode! Plus, next week, we will be talking about pelvic floor physical therapy for men so m...
Apr 04, 2025•38 min•Ep. 363
Sex in marriage can sometimes feel imbalanced—one person initiates while the other holds the power to say yes or no, or one partner’s needs take priority over the other’s. But what if there was a way to create a deeper, more fulfilling connection? In this episode, we explore the concept of mutuality in marriage, a powerful approach where both partners’ needs, desires, and well-being are valued equally. Drawing from Dr. David Schnarch’s insights, we’ll break down what it truly means to love well ...
Mar 28, 2025•14 min•Ep. 362
We often think of sexual energy as just desire, attraction, or physical connection—but what if it’s so much more? What if this energy could fuel your creativity, ambition, personal growth, and even spiritual transformation? In this episode, we’re diving into sexual transmutation—the practice of channeling your sexual energy into other areas of your life. Whether you want to boost your creative projects, elevate your confidence, or find deeper purpose, harnessing this powerful force could be the ...
Mar 21, 2025•11 min•Ep. 361
I often hear from my clients the phrase, “If only…” If only my spouse would want more sex, then I could stop feeling so frustrated. If only my spouse would stop pressuring me for sex, then I could feel more comfortable with it. If only… Have you ever thought about how things would change “if only”? If you have, I bet that you have tried to change your spouse. You’ve bought them books, and sent them podcasts, and they have dug in their heels and stayed exactly the same. Why? Because no one wants ...
Mar 14, 2025•14 min•Ep. 360
We’ve all said it at one time or another - “Do you love me?” While it seems like an innocent question, what I’ve found from working with countless couples is that this “innocent” question often leads down a path of blame, frustration, and unmet expectations. To put it simply, it’s a trap. It keeps us focused on the wrong things. So, what do we do about it? That’s what we’re going to talk about in this episode. It’s full of usable suggestions to ask the right questions and focus on the right thin...
Mar 07, 2025•15 min•Ep. 359
Have you ever wondered if men experience the same pressures to be 'good' that women do? Last week, we uncovered the hidden struggles of Good Girl Syndrome—but what about the other side of the coin? Today, we're diving into Good Boy Syndrome—a silent battle many men face, shaping how they see themselves, their relationships, and their sexuality. If you've ever felt the weight of perfectionism, the sting of shame, or the fear of being truly vulnerable—this episode is for you. We're breaking down w...
Feb 28, 2025•14 min•Ep. 358
What is Good Girl Syndrome? Let me answer like this - have you ever found yourself hesitating to explore your desires? Have you ever felt guilty when expressing your needs in the bedroom? Do you believe that ‘good girls’ don’t act certain ways? Do you feel like your worth is tied to your being modest, virtuous, or pleasing to others? That’s what we’re going to talk about in today’s episode - what Good Girl Syndrome is, where it comes from, how to recognize it, and most importantly, how to overco...
Feb 21, 2025•16 min•Ep. 357
Have you ever thought about what drives your sexual desire? One key factor is the freedom we feel in our lives. Freedom plays a vital role in fostering vibrant sexuality and intimacy, and without it, we may experience disconnection, frustration, or stagnation. In this episode, we’ll explore the powerful link between freedom and sex, why it’s so crucial, and how you can create more freedom in both your personal life and sexual relationships.
Feb 14, 2025•14 min•Ep. 356
A few weeks ago, we talked about prolonged arousal and I touched on sexual shame in men. I promised then that I’d do an entire episode about it because it isn’t talked about much and needs to be talked about more. This is that episode. Sexual shame is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience, and when it’s tied to something as personal and intimate as sexuality, the impact can be profound. In this episode, we’re going to delve into this much needed topic and talk about what it is, how...
Feb 07, 2025•15 min•Ep. 355
Valentine’s Day is coming up! Does that thought fill you with excitement or dread? Often when we think about Valentine’s Day, we dream up this scene straight from the movies and we are often disappointed by what actually happens. So this year, maybe we can prepare ourselves for Valentine’s Day. I don’t mean grand gestures or perfect plans, but shifting our attention to preparing ourselves - mind, body, and heart - for love and connection. Let’s talk about how to do just that. Whether your relati...
Jan 31, 2025•10 min•Ep. 354
When we think about unconditional love, it always sounds romantic and exciting, right? We’ve all seen the romcoms where they have the kind of love that never falters, regardless of what happens. It’s the idea that someone is loved completely, no matter their choices, behaviors, or circumstances. But in marriage, the idea of unconditional love should be more nuanced. It may seem wonderful on the big screen, but in reality, unconditional love in marriage is a partnership between two adults with ne...
Jan 24, 2025•10 min•Ep. 353
Want to make your intimate moments last longer? In this episode, we’re diving into the secrets of prolonging arousal for men, exploring everything from practical techniques and medication options to mindset shifts that can enhance your experience. We’ll also tackle the deeper issues that can impact your ability to fully enjoy intimacy. If you’ve ever wished for a little more time in the heat of passion, this episode is a must-listen!
Jan 17, 2025•12 min•Ep. 352
Have you ever found yourself wondering why your wife doesn’t seem to be attracted to you? After all, you do everything you’re “supposed” to do, you’ve been told it works, but she still doesn’t seem interested. She still doesn’t seem drawn to you. The spark still isn’t there. She may even seem frustrated by your attempts to connect. Why? In this episode, I’m going to answer that question and help you find that connection with your spouse that you’ve been searching for.
Jan 10, 2025•19 min•Ep. 351
When was the last time you felt alive in your marriage? Has it been a while? The longer we’re married, the more sex can become something else on our to-do list. Something that needs to happen, but doesn’t bring much joy. But sex can be so much more than just the physical urge to have sex. How? When we replace sexuality with eroticism, sex becomes a way to connect with your spouse, to enjoy each other more, to feel more alive. Curious? Listen as we discuss the difference between sexuality and ero...
Jan 03, 2025•12 min•Ep. 350
Men and women have been conditioned to think that the word “objectifying” is bad. True, it can feel unsettling but sexual relationships thrive when there is a sense of desire - a longing for one another that includes, but isn’t limited to, physical attraction. So, how do we navigate the tension between desire and respect? How do we balance celebrating our spouse’s physical presence without reducing them to just a body? That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
Dec 27, 2024•13 min•Ep. 349
