If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you. Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to. In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn pa...
May 11, 2026•45 min•Season 1Ep. 176
Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going. If you’ve ever felt like: Your pa...
May 04, 2026•45 min•Season 1Ep. 175
Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty? You’re not alone. For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe. In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it. Because the...
Apr 27, 2026•24 min•Season 1Ep. 174
Non-monogamy is usually seen as something that destroys relationships. But what if, in some cases, it can actually save them? In this episode, I’m talking with a non-monogamy expert about a perspective that challenges everything most couples have been taught about love, sex, and commitment. We explore how Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) can sometimes be a more honest and sustainable way to navigate real relationship challenges—especially when it comes to mismatched l...
Apr 20, 2026•53 min•Season 1Ep. 173
Thinking about sharing a sexual fantasy—but worried your partner will see you differently? This is where most couples unknowingly start creating distance instead of deeper intimacy. In this episode, we break down the 3 biggest mistakes couples make when sharing sexual fantasies —and why these patterns often lead to pressure, resentment, or emotional disconnection instead of closeness. If you’ve ever struggled with how to talk about sex, navigate kinks or fantasies, or handle differences in desir...
Apr 13, 2026•25 min•Season 1Ep. 174
You want sex. You care about your relationship. But when things actually start to happen… something shifts. You get in your head. You feel anxious, disconnected, or unsure of yourself. And sometimes, you walk away wondering why it didn’t feel as good as you hoped—or even feeling shame or guilt. In this episode, I’m joined by sex therapist and Certified IFS Therapist, Patricia Rich, to unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience. Because it’s not just about libido. And it’s not somethin...
Apr 06, 2026•51 min•Season 1Ep. 172
Sick of not knowing what you want in bed? Download The Free Sexy Scorecard now - https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/km5Dd3rf Figure out your sexual self so you can communicate better with your partner and experience more pleasure together. In this episode: Discover how understanding your current patterns can open doors to new experiences Learn why stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to deeper connections Find out how curiosity can be your best friend in exploring desires Get prac...
Mar 30, 2026•25 min•Season 1Ep. 171
What happens when you feel attracted to another woman… but you’re in a committed relationship with a man? For a lot of women, this curiosity brings a mix of excitement, confusion, and uncertainty. You might wonder what it means, whether it’s worth exploring, or how to even begin without creating problems in your current relationship. In this episode, I’m joined by Genevieve LeJeune, founder of Skirt Club—a global community for bicurious and bisexual women—to talk about what this experience is ac...
Mar 23, 2026•43 min•Season 1Ep. 170
You can have a loving partner who compliments you, supports you, and chooses you every day—and still feel completely undesired. The surprising truth is that the problem usually isn’t your partner’s attraction… it’s how desire is being interpreted and received in your relationship. Feeling sexually desired is one of the most powerful emotional experiences in a relationship. It boosts confidence, deepens connection, and brings energy into your partnership. But many people in long-term relationship...
Mar 16, 2026•30 min•Season 1Ep. 169
You think you're too busy for sex, but you're not! Listen in for the top 3 lies that couples tell themselves about being too busy for sex. Hosted by Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon, we'll cover: Why viewing time for sex as a luxury hinders intimacy and how to reframe it The myth that life must calm down before prioritizing sex, and what to do instead The connection between stress, attachment styles, and sexual availability How to reallocate priorities using the big rocks theory for a ba...
Mar 09, 2026•25 min•Season 1Ep. 168
If you’re in a committed relationship and exploring a cuckolding kink, this episode will help you navigate it without blowing up your connection. Cuckolding is one of the more common fantasies people have — but integrating it into a real relationship requires emotional steadiness, communication, and clarity. In this episode of Sex for Couples, we break down: • The difference between hotwife, stag/vixen, and cuckolding dynamics • Why taboo fantasies are often tied to insecurity and power • How to...
Mar 02, 2026•28 min•Season 1Ep. 167
Many higher sex drive partners are accidentally reinforcing the cycle of getting told no. This episode will help you break the cycle. Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon, explores the patterns and emotional dynamics behind rejection in relationships, especially when one partner has a higher sex drive. In this episode, we'll break down common behaviors like withdrawal, performance, and story-telling, offering insights into how to shift these patterns for healthier intimacy. Chapters 00:00 Th...
Feb 23, 2026•21 min•Season 1Ep. 166
Perimenopause libido dropping after 40? If sex feels different—lower desire, more dryness, shorter fuse, less connection—your hormones (not your relationship) may be the missing piece. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist , Heather Shannon talks with board-certified OB-GYN + functional/integrative hormone expert Dr. Tara Scott about the most common hormone shifts that impact women’s sex drive across postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause—and why women’s desire is often more “Goldilocks” than...
Feb 16, 2026•45 min•Season 1Ep. 165
Summary Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon explores the complexities of sexual awkwardness and the pressures that come with performance in intimate relationships. She discusses the importance of shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset regarding sexuality, emphasizing the need to connect with one's body rather than living in one's head. Heather also delves into the protective parts and wounds that can hinder sexual expression and the judgment that often accompanies feelings of inad...
Feb 09, 2026•23 min•Season 1Ep. 163
Sex After 50 doesn’t have to decline — in fact, for many people, it gets better. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist, Heather is joined by Karen Bigman, a sex and relationship coach specializing in midlife and sex after 50, for an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about aging, desire, body changes, and intimacy. They explore why so many couples assume that low libido, painful sex, or loss of desire is just “part of getting older” — and why that belief is often what actually ha...
Feb 02, 2026•46 min•Season 1Ep. 162
Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon explores the common sexual assumptions and misunderstandings that derail couples' sex lives. She discusses how past experiences shape current perceptions, the importance of maintaining a growth mindset, the influence of hedonic conditioning and the need for open communication to navigate assumptions. The conversation emphasizes the role of curiosity in fostering intimacy and understanding between partners. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Sexual Assumptions 0...
Jan 26, 2026•26 min•Season 1Ep. 161
In this episode, Heather Shannon delves into the hidden reasons why sex becomes frustrating in long-term relationships. She explores four types of stories and meanings that couples attach to their sex lives, which often lead to emotional suffering. Through examples and frameworks like existential kink and internal family systems, Heather provides insights into how these unconscious belief patterns affect relationships and offers ways to reframe and address them for healthier connections. Looking...
Jan 19, 2026•34 min•Season 1Ep. 160
Want to get personalized coaching to improve your sex life? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon or her team. Booking A Consultation With The Right Person Summary In this conversation, Heather Shannon and Laura Alyn explore the journey of self-discovery in sexuality through self-inquiry and writing. Laura shares insights from her book, 'A Thousand Questions and Activities to Embrace Your Sexuality,' discussing the importance of understanding one's desires, the r...
Jan 12, 2026•38 min•Season 1Ep. 159
Sex doesn’t usually disappear because people stop loving each other. It disappears because of emotional mistakes no one teaches us to recognize. In this episode, I’m breaking down five patterns that quietly destroy sex — and what to understand instead Work With Heather Feeling frustrated with your sex life or lack thereof? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon or someone from her team! Click here to start. Episode Summary Heather discusses the 5 common emotional m...
Jan 05, 2026•25 min•Season 1Ep. 158
Looking to improve sex and intimacy? Find the right coach or therapist for you here - Book A Free Consultation In this episode, Heather Shannon and Doc Yu Roc (Dr. Yulinda Rahman) explore the therapeutic use of BDSM, discussing how trauma is stored in the body and the importance of intersectionality in healing. They delve into the power dynamics present in everyday life and how understanding these can aid in personal growth. Doc Yu Roc shares insights on the Kink Professional Standards Alliance ...
Dec 29, 2025•45 min•Season 1Ep. 157
Looking to get out of your sex rut? Book a free consultation with a member of the Ask A Sex Therapist coaching team! https://form.jotform.com/253156356665060 AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon speaks with Naturopathic Doctor Jordin Wiggins about the challenges faced by high achieving women in their intimate relationships. In particular, Jordin share how women's "supertraits" can lead to burnout and hinder their ability to connect emotionally. The discussion covers the import...
Dec 22, 2025•1 hr 12 min•Season 1Ep. 156
If sex is feeling stressful, book a free Unlock Your Passion call with Heather to find out about her Pathway to Passion coaching program. https://HeatherShannon.co. In this episode, Heather introduces Kristin Vyas, a sex and intimacy coach who has joined the Ask A Sex Therapist team. Kristen shares the top sex issues she sees with clients including erectile dysfunction, mismatched libidos and shame around kinks. Heather and Kristen discuss the impact of societal pressures on masculinity. They ta...
Dec 15, 2025•58 min•Season 1Ep. 155
Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon discusses ethical non-monogamy, addressing common fears, misconceptions, and the various forms it can take. She emphasizes the importance of timing, communication, and setting boundaries in non-monogamous relationships. The conversation also explores the emotional complexities involved, including jealousy and compersion, and how non-monogamy can serve as a means for individuals to explore their sexuality and identity. Book a free consultation with a coach ...
Dec 08, 2025•28 min•Season 1Ep. 154
Tap into your sexual creativity and get past fear and repression. Embrace your darker fantasies without having to make them real! Certified Sex Therapist & Host, Heather Shannon, interviews guest Bria Rose about her journey from working at Disney to becoming a successful author of dark, sexy fairy tales. She discusses the importance of exploring fantasies through fiction, and her personal journey towards sex positivity. Bria emphasizes the significance of communication in relationships and t...
Dec 01, 2025•43 min•Season 1Ep. 153
Learn about Dr. Jack Morin's equation for sexual desire and how you can make that equation work more in your favor! One of the most common things we all want in our sex lives is feeling wanted. And yet it can be elusive! Even when we have mutual physical attraction with our partner, it doesn't always spark sexual desire. Listen in to learn why feeling wanted is important to us, how we feel affected when we don't feel desired and a few things we can do for our partner and for ourselves to turn up...
Nov 24, 2025•27 min•Season 1Ep. 152
This week on Ask A Sex Therapist , we explore how aligning with your authentic feminine energy can transform not only your confidence but your sex life. With the help of Inna Segal, an intuitive energy healer and award-winning author of The Secret Language Of Your Body, we break down how polarity builds sexual attraction, why balance within is magnetic, and how shifting your energy can reignite that spark in your relationship. Check out the video version of this episode at https://youtu.be/V98D5...
Nov 17, 2025•1 hr 15 min•Season 1Ep. 151
Certified Sex Therapist answers questions about strap-ons for double penetration, managing mismatched sex drives, psychological erection issues, and the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships. Heather provides insights and advice on how to navigate these personal challenges, emphasizing communication and mindfulness as key tools for improving sexual health and relationship satisfaction. Chapters 00:00 Listener Q&A Introduction 00:27 Exploring Double Penetration with Strap-Ons 05:0...
Nov 10, 2025•31 min•Season 1Ep. 150
Stop feeling like roommates and start feeling like lovers again! Figure out how you fell into this rut and how to change up your patterns. This solo episode gets into the themes of social dynamics, charisma, and embracing healthy obstacles as a good thing for sexual attraction. Host and Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon discusses the importance of healthy boundaries, having your own thing going on and putting your best foot forward no matter how long you've been togehter. She also explores...
Nov 03, 2025•32 min•Season 1Ep. 149
Apply for Founding Member status and help shape Heather's new Intimacy Collective program --> https://forms.gle/hyLr3LSoxadrvusM6 EPISODE SUMMARY In this conversation, Shannon Curtis shares her profound journey of healing from sexual trauma, emphasizing the importance of reclaiming personal power, understanding shame, and fostering intimacy. She discusses her experiences with trauma, the role of forgiveness, and the significance of body awareness in healing. Shannon also highlights the need f...
Oct 27, 2025•56 min•Season 1Ep. 148
In this conversation, Heather Shannon discusses the themes of loss, heartbreak, and the resilience of the human spirit. Drawing from her personal experiences, she emphasizes the importance of finding inner security and embracing vulnerability in relationships. Heather shares insights on how to navigate grief, the significance of community, and the necessity of self-reflection in fostering intimacy and connection with others. Takeaways We are wired to find balance and resilience. It's crucial to ...
Oct 20, 2025•24 min•Season 1Ep. 147
