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Now take some notes . The study group is in session . Hi , this is Study Sessions , a bi-weekly Minnesota from Sex Ed Debunked , where we talk about topics brought to us by you , our listeners On this week's episode .
we're talking about the age-old question does size matter ? Which , admittedly , might not be the question on your mind , shannon , but it's often discussed by people here to let you know that people of all orientations have to consider the size of things that are interacting with their bodies .
True . True , it's discussed by people who have in play with penises , so not generally a discussion concerned with female parts specifically .
Understood . So two probably points of discussion when it comes to the size-mattering question . One , biologically does it matter ? Sure Like , does it actually affect pleasure in your ability to enjoy and to horizontal ?
And two , the psychological impact , because the question to size matter is probably asked and considered and worried about more than it actually mattering in practice .
Very true , very true , and that's part of the reason we're doing this Study Session . So the answer to both questions is yes , but not in the way you might think . Yes , size does matter .
It does matter . Let me grab my popcorn . Let's go .
Well , first of all , biological size can mean length or girth . A lot of times people just talk about length and medical research has found on the plus size . Penis size does not affect desirability , function or health . So in that sense it doesn't matter at all .
But to some extent length or girth can affect what parts of a female vulva and vaginal canal are stimulated during penetration . So it might matter in terms of fit but not matter in terms of measurement .
Although the orgasm gap . A big part of that is that female bodies don't necessarily reach orgasm through penetration anyway , right ?
You are correct , bingo , but some women nevertheless enjoy the feeling of feeling full or feeling connected , regardless of whether or not it leads to an orgasm . So often , research tells us that translates to a certain girth , not length , which should be comforting to some . But what , yeah , so comforting ?
Well , because I think people with penises , when they get fixated and they get anxious about things like size , they're usually thinking about how long is it compared to others ? And the research studies that are out there show that female bodies rate penis girth as more important than penis length .
In fact , some women report experiencing pain when the length of the penis is longer than average , because thrusting can hit the cervix , which can be painful . So , in other words , bigger isn't always better in this circumstance .
Well , also it's not a simple question of does size matter ? There is more . There is more that goes into that .
Exactly Because all body parts , all body parts come in different sizes and different flexibility , and for some female bodies they can accommodate more than others . So it's not about looking at one size fits all literally .
It's about what , what bodies like , what types of girth , what types of length , but keeping in mind that it doesn't affect function , it doesn't affect health , it doesn't affect satisfaction , it's just a question of preference .
I think it's also worth pausing . And you know , I think a submith here is like well you know , if a giant kind of accommodate anything because they can have a woman push out babies , it's like that's . That is true . That doesn't mean it's comfortable , it doesn't mean that every size is going to work Well .
And also , pushing out babies is a process . You don't just like wake up and push out a baby .
You know you're going into labor for a while , your body gets accommodated , your vaginal canal stretches , your cervix stretches all of these things happen during that process and not necessarily all of those things are happening during sexual activity in that in that long , extended way Well and I think when we asked the or when the question is asked of , does size
matter , people often think about too small .
But there's also the flip side of like quote unquote too big .
And the question here is what , when , when the fixation on size is like too small , too big , you got to keep in mind what what the real , true science says about the averages .
Yeah , remember when we did the episode last year with Miss Bloom and we talked about ? We were talking about pornography in the adult film industry , but we were talking also about the exaggerations nationwide of size . And what was it Alabama that absolutely insisted they were all niners .
It's true and that's where this obsession comes from is so much , there's so much porn available and so much which leads to that social comparison .
But when we talk about the real numbers , the real numbers say the average penis size when not aroused is three and a half inches and when aroused is between Not nine , alabama , no , it's between five and five and a half . So you're talking about the outliers are being people who are over , like six , six and a half . It's like they say 5% .
So Alabama , unless you're in the top 5% , well , it would be the one category , alabama's the top 5% . But on the other side , for those people with penises who are anxious about it , even for even for is like if you're for , you're really kind of at the end of average anyway . Okay , so it's not , it's not like that unusual .
And we talked about this again . We have covered this subject , you know , tangentially in other episodes , but most men think that the average size is six inches , which it isn't , and most women actually believe that the penises that they've interacted with are larger , so that's good news for male listeners . Women are very poor judges of size , as it turns out .
They are , though , interestingly , the research says that men who have sex with men , people with penises , who have sex with people with penises , are actually better judges of actual size .
Well , of course they are . They have a better reference point .
But for those of you in the heterosexual community , you can know that your women think you're bigger than you are anyway , which is interesting , which is really helpful .
So why ? Why , the obsession it's like ? Let's get to the part two , where there is the psychological impact of it .
Well , psychologically , we have . We have . We have porn there's , it's really available . We have this idea that is promulgated through media that bigger is better and it's and it does . It does permeate both sides . You know , female bodies , male bodies , all of it seems to think that bigger is better and it's .
It's kind of a cultural thing that's really completely misplaced . When there was so , there was an interesting research study done where women were asked about looking at actually 3D , like printers of penises to evaluate which ones they liked and which ones they didn't . And really the women pointed out like six inches .
So it wasn't like they were pointing out seven , eight , nine , and most women were just yeah , so most women were still looking at the average as being what they wanted , even though society says I want a big . You know BBC , whatever . You know those things . In reality , the actual preference is leaning towards the average .
The average is perfectly great and perfectly what's expected . There is another study that was looking at appearance and suggests that heterosexual women looking for a one-night stand might prefer a slightly larger , probably just for the cachet .
Yeah right to be able to be like . Well , look what I did last night .
Pretty much , but in long-term relationships , in long-term relationships , you want something that's more , you know , comfortable and suits your activity over the long-term , so to speak .
So you know , okay , great Women , volvo-owning people who enjoy interacting with penises are like average , is great , awesome . But the truth is , too , that people that own penises have a lot of dissatisfaction with the appearance of their genitals because of that cultural , you know , stigma .
Well , and that's across female bodies and male bodies . The research will show that , you know , a high percentage , like a third of people this one study of 3,500 Swedish men and women , almost a full third had dissatisfaction with their genitalia .
And that's just a cultural problem that we just we're so constantly comparing ourselves to other people and we don't realize that . You know , we're all different , we're all beautiful , it all works just fine , and that's just a cultural thing we have to break around from .
And unfortunately , what that's led to is many male bodies with penises wanting to have enlargements and surgeries and things like that , rather than simply accepting who they are and realizing that what they got is perfectly fine .
That's a job done .
But it really does talk about like stress and diet , depression and that leads to actually not willing to be in relationships and feeling like I'm not good enough , and part of the reason for this study session is to say yes , you are . Yes , you are .
And as a reminder , there are a lot of other ways to get to orgasm than penetration .
And you know , sometimes if you have less to work with , you have more to work with in terms of creativity . But that's once again , it's you're talking about the body that you're having engaging in sexual activity with . Have some communication , just figure out what works for you . And it's not about , you know , the size .
The size is just one teeny tiny element well , hopefully not teeny tiny , but one element of one element of the sexual interaction that you're engaged in .
And so studies that have looked at women and there's actually a fair amount of studies , of course you know , heterosexual women , primarily because a lot of the anxiety is in the syshet world of male bodies but say that only about 50% say it's somewhat important . Yeah , now , that's somewhat .
It's just kind of like meh , it's one of the things I think about A lot of wiggle room in that somewhat , and in a lot of those studies they're only giving the option of very important , somewhat important , not important at all . So you have half that say somewhat important , but that means like there's a quarter that say I don't care at all .
So you think about that . That breakdown is like there's a very , you know , like maybe 10 , 15% who really care at all .
And even within that somewhat important or very important it's , they're answering that question based on just sort of in general , is this something that matters ?
But again , once you're with a partner , you're going to figure out different things that you like and don't like and you're going to establish different comfort with each other and you're going to experiment and like .
All of those things are going to contribute to a healthy , pleasurable sex life and they're not going to revolve around the most basic question of does size ?
matter , right ? So the basic answer here is size does not matter for physical function , for sexual satisfaction , for being desirable , it absolutely does not matter . It does matter if you think it does .
So I guess it would be fair to say get out of your head , Get , get out of your head .
That's a good way of putting it , that's a good reminder , you know , but that's it . It only matters if you think it matters . And so let's just kind of like , take this study session and realize that that what's actually going on in the real world of science and in the real world of relationships , it's not that big of a deal to be that big of a deal .
Yep , all right . Well , that's a wrap on this week's study session . Thank you for that . As usual , we love hearing what topics you'd like us to cover every week . Even the most simple basic subjects . We love to tackle them in the study sessions .
But if you have any ideas for full length episodes and myths you'd like us to debunk whatever you've got , set it over to us at sexeddebunkedgmailcom or on any of the socials at sexeddebunked . Take care everyone . See you next time .
Sexed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in Providence , rhode Island , for sound producers Ezra Winters , with production assistance from Shay Weintraub .