This is sex ed debunked. A cross generational podcast hosted by mother daughter duo Christine and Shannon Curley, where we talk about all the things you learned
or didn't learn
in sex ed,
and where it all went wrong.
From the abstinence curriculum to the monogamy myth.
an In the vast spectrum of rainbow representation.
We'll get real about sex positivity, and catch you up on everything from proper anatomy
to the holistic benefits of a great sex life.
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and follow us at sex ed debunked on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Hi, and welcome to Episode Four of sex ed debunked a podcast about comprehensive sex ed, sex positivity and why kick Keller from A League of Their Own was my original girl crush. Also, happy LGBT history month. I didn't know that it was LGBT history month, but it is so happy October happy LGBT history month.
Ooh. All right, and we're your host, Christina Shannon Curley. Thanks for tuning in. Today we'll be talking about coming out, and the myth that it can ever be easy.
As a reminder, in our last episode, we talked about "the talk" and how there should be more than one this week we're talking about coming out and how it's more than simply kicking down the door of the closet and declaring Whoo, I'm gay. Although we're not knocking people who feel like that's a good place to start, I mean, kicked out those doors baby.
As we mentioned in the last episode, of the many talks you should have, some of the most important are those about sexual orientation, and different sexual identities. Now one reason we decided to do this episode early on in our podcast series, is for a broader audience to hear the coming out story. I always thought of myself as a loving and supportive parent. Yet I never thought to have this conversation with you, Shannon, because I didn't realize what a big deal it was. For that, I'm
really sorry. It's okay. Well, I figured that you knew that you were loved and supported. And that was enough and that you knew that loving a guy or a girl wouldn't matter to your family and the people who have loved you. So this episode is not just for the young people who are trying to figure out their sexual identity by for those of you like me, who didn't really know how hard it could be.
Yeah, I mean, you were, it's, it's true, you and dad are super, super supportive, and the whole family is and that's something like I it's not lost on me. But I think the reason why the myth today is that coming out can be easy is that you can have the most supportive and loving family on the world. And it's still a reckoning with yourself. And for my experience, I know that we never really talked about, you know, not just in the context of a sex talk.
But in general, I never knew that there were other options beyond boys and girls, men and women together. So as a result, when it came to thinking about my own sexuality, there wasn't really anything to think about. It was either straight or nothing. And if it wasn't straight, then it was, you know, denial,
and which is obviously a terrible place for any human to be in denying who they are and denying their identity. And for me, I mean, the only part I knew was like the actual coming out part, the part when you told me that you had a long distance girlfriend and my recollection
Classic u haul, Yes.
But my recollection was you had been telling me all along about this long distance relationship. And then you, you know, we sat down on the front steps of the house, and you told me it was a girlfriend. And that's all I knew. So here we're doing this for you all live like this is really our full talk
we haven't actually talked about this
about the struggles with your identity. And I want to say right now, it might get a little clunky, might get a little clumsy, but much,
much like coming out itself. It might not be perfect, but yeah, no, I think it's important we talk about it, because obviously, that wasn't, you know, it wasn't the day that I decided to tell you about. This wasn't the first day that I had had this conversation with myself, certainly and leading up until that day, where I came out to you it was years, like years of struggling with this. And you know, it's almost like going through the stages of grief in
some way. Like you go through denial and you go through bargaining and you go through anger and sadness and and that's because in some ways, it's like grieving your identity, because what you thought you were supposed to be, quote, unquote, was straight and heteronormative. And if you're not sis head then like, what are you and that's something that I struggled with for a really, really long time because I didn't have any conversations
with you. But I also didn't have a community to talk to, I didn't really have a ton of representation. And so I mean, I started having these feelings, probably, I mean, I joke in the intro that like I had a crush on Kit Keller, I didn't know that, you know, it was A League of Their Own. I didn't know that that's what it was, but I had this deep sense of infatuation. I had this deep sense of just like, well, I'm really feeling
I thought it was your favorite movie because Kit Keller was just like you.
Well,it was. And that's the thing I think from an early age is that you don't like you know that we I started watching that movie when I was seven, I wasn't thinking about it sexually, I was just thinking about like, Oh, I have very, like intense feelings of connection toward this character. But that's sort of
where it started. It wasn't really until late into high school that like those feelings started manifesting in a different way, which you know, kind of aligns well with what we were talking about last time with the series of talks, right is like at first it was just
feelings of infatuation. But then as I got older and started going through, you know, adolescence and started thinking more about romantic relationships, that possibility started to manifest, but I didn't know and I spent a lot of time just repressing those feelings or repressing those feelings or repressing those feelings.
I think this is kind of goes back to the last week's episode that if I had done better, right, as a parent and had these conversations with you, maybe you would have felt more comfortable talking to me and saying, Hey, Mom, I'm struggling with this, Hey, Mom, this is this. And maybe in a perfect world, you wouldn't even be struggling. But I think you know, all adult adolescence on one level or not struggle with identity, whether it's sexual or not. And I'm sorry, I wasn't
more available to you then. But now available to you. And hopefully this talk will help other parents and other young people to find people that to talk to as they go through this process.
Yeah, well, and I'll say like I didn't feel comfortable talking to you in doubt about it when I was first like having these Inklings because we'd never talked about it. Like they're just it just
wasn't a conversation. And so something that was hugely important to me in high school was that I had one friend, and he wasn't he wasn't five but he was really open and we would talk about, you know, we would talk about sexuality and sex, I don't really even remember why I just remember that it would come up in conversation and knowing that he was open minded, created a safe space for me and part of the reason why he and I became such good friends was because I was able to have these
conversations and I was able to feel safe with him. Now I'm really lucky that I found a friend like that I don't know how much as it was, I felt very alone in this experience of trying to figure out my sexuality and trying to figure out where I leaned and having him made a huge huge huge
difference. So just like I can't overemphasize how important it is to feel a sense of community and feel like someone is open minded specifically about this because to your point yeah, you and dad are very supportive you always have been I knew my family loved me but we never talked about sexual orientation we never talked about it so that was sort of the beginning of my coming out you know, not even my coming out but just the beginning of reckoning with my identity in that way and then
the funny thing is I didn't experiment with that at all because in high school like you said, You're still struggling so much with just identity period that I wasn't in any position to be like I'm just getting it and so I went to such such a not diverse like super white cookie cutter middle class high school like there were not there weren't openly gay people there just weren't you know, and so that wasn't even something that
I could think about. You know, it wasn't like we went in and go to like High School Musical school.
or Sex Education School
Yeah, right. Yeah,
exactly. So it wasn't it It wasn't out there so the funny thing that was that my next sort of phase of this was going to college and everyone jokes I call up colleges where everyone experiments but I still wasn't like oh, I'm gonna go to college and I'm gonna like see if I like girls like I went to school in the south I went to a conservative school in the south like the most eye opening thing about going to the conservative school in the south was like republicans and I was like, oh,
like everyone here hates Obama that's awkward. But I wasn't going to this like safe space to to experiment with my identity. I was going to the opposite. But the funny thing about that and it's you know, in reflection it's really hilarious was like, everyone else was really comfortable with experimenting maybe because they were so sure I'm gonna put sure in some serious quotes there of their sexual identity. So like, people girls meet out with me in college all the time. And I wasn't
it was just fun for them.
It was just fun for them. And meanwhile for me, it was like an utter crisis. Because you know, they're doing it for fun and I wasn't sure certainly I wasn't initiating it because I was still so conflicted. But that was sort of the First Bridge to exploring those feelings kind of whether I wanted to or not, because it was like we're at a college party and like my friends are drunk and I was the safe friend because everyone else was
well I remember you telling me those stories like oh yeah, every time everybody had a few drinks and then they'd all go in the corner and be like Shannon you're my best friend and they start hugging you and crying and kissing you and
is not like a healthy way. Like it'll not this is not what I'm advising. Don't go to a school where you know, girls are gonna try to make out with you for attention. This is not this is not it, but that was the only Avenue Like, I don't know, I don't know how
so tell me how you finally like, broke through and started an actual relationship?
Well, so as I've like already kind of said, I think in this I think this is true for everyone. And I think actually it continues to be true when you're in the queer community or the rainbow community is that community community is a huge thing. And feeling like you can talk to people who are quote, unquote, like you is a huge thing. And I'm not going to go super into talking about like
media representation. But that was a really important thing for me was, if I can't have real life, people that I can relate to, are there characters that I can relate to. And so like, I will embarrassingly admit that I spent like a lot of time watching shows because I was promised that there would be like a bi or a lesbian character
on it. I would go on like the subreddit like the I don't even remember there was a name for the subreddit wasn't just like lesbian subreddit, it was like, love cats or something.
The Secret name
yeah it was like cats. But I would go on there and I would look up like, there would be forums and there would be posts that were like, these are the shows you can watch if you want, if you want to, like see a lesbian couple are see a bisexual couple or whatever. And I would I mean, I watched all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the entire show, just because I was promised that at one point there would be a lesbian relationship. And you know what happened?
What happened?
It got to the part where there was a lesbian relationship. It lasted maybe a season, and then they killed off the girlfriend.
Oh, no.
That's what that's what I learned was like, literal Satan will kill your girlfriend. So just like, yeah, I mean, but the point is
not the best media represent.
The point was before I was before I was comfortable, you know, outing myself, even with a community of safe like a safe community, like knowing that I could go on to the subreddit, or whatever. Media was really important to me, that was like, Okay, I can see this. And it wasn't always good representation. You know, it was a lot. I mean, a lot of times it was the girlfriend got killed.
Whoops, like, bummer. But seeing that was kind of the first step towards recognizing that that was like, that was an acceptable lifestyle.
I think back to media representation, there seemed to be more men represented, you know, willing grace comes to mind that was pretty mainstream for a long time. And but you didn't see the sexual minority of bisexuals or lesbians represented all that much other than Ellen coming out, which was, you know, a whole other story thing. I can't, you know, well, except like fried green tomatoes, right?
Yes, actually, this so yes. So fried green tomatoes, right? We watched that movie so many times, that was like one of your favorites, it became one of my favorites. But I had no idea about the lesbian subplot of that movie or night, it's about main plot. And I guess I actually found out way later that the book is a lot more explicit. And that didn't say it's like you get to a man relationship. But one of the things that would have been really useful, mom would have been if
Sorry,
no, but you keep saying I'm sorry, I'm just telling you that it's one thing to be like, it's cool to watch these movies. But it's another thing to actually be explicit that like, this is this is an acceptable relationship. You know, this is this is two women love each other. And that's, that's, great.
That's a really good point, Shannon, for, you know, people who are trying to be true allies, and to help help young people, even or older people go through this, figuring out that identity is to be explicit, because I think, you know, we sat on the couch, and we watched the movie, and it was a great friendship. And it was a great love story. And we could even say it was a love story, because you could see that in that movie. But it wasn't explicitly said that, hey, they're there a
couple? And maybe that explicitness would have helped you a bit more to maybe say something a little sooner than you did?
Yeah, I mean it same thing with like, The Birdcage, like, we loved that movie, but it wasn't like, hey, by the way, they're gay, or, and, you know, to come full circle with it. It's like, I didn't even put two and two together with fragrant tomatoes, until I was on a subreddit that was recommending movies, lesbian relationships. And they were like, oh, fried green tomatoes. And I'm like, my fried green tomatoes. Not but
certainly not. And then I went back and watched it when I was like, 19, and I'm like, Oh, my God, this whole time. So it's, I think the point like that's a really important lesson for anyone who's listening is is don't just push it under the rug, nor, like make it a conversation that you have. And actually, this is a really big, psychological thing. Like, you know, theory of identity theory
of self right. And it's one not to digress too much, but something that I've learned in my studies about communication is that it's great to engage with media, but also having thoughtful conversation about media. So don't just plop down on the couch with your kid or your teenager, whatever and watch a movie and then walk away and never talk about it. Something that you can do to AI to develop theory of identity and theory of self is have conversations. Hey, what did you
think about that movie? What do you think about this couple? Did you resonate with their story have conversation,
any kind of goes back to our last episode about conversations like and what a great springboard that is right to sit down and watch. Modern Family, right has these relationships and you know, how does that Frankie
transcend generations talk about late coming out stories just talk about the story so and you asked, you know, how did you get to the point where you had a girlfriend so I will get back to that question, but I wanted to mention media because I know that that's actually a pretty common story for a lot of folks in the queer and LGBT community is needing to search out that identification within fictional characters, because you might not have a built in community, but going to read it that was
sort of the next phase in my development. I know it sounds silly, because it's like I went to read it, but read it will always have a near and dear place in my heart because I was able to go to a safe space. And even before my first real girlfriend, like I had started talking to girls, and not even in Let's be in a relationship or whatever. But it was just like people of similar age to me, people who are also struggling people who are also closeted, just being able to talk to
people. And then it got to the point where I, I wouldn't even say was comfortable enough, because I wasn't like my struggle with this identity went far beyond actually coming out. But I got to the point where I was like, I'd like to try this I'd like to try to build beyond just exploring this with myself, I'd like to explore this with someone else. And so my first girlfriend was someone who lived really far away, far away. But we talked all the time and I
can't speak for them fully. But I can say for myself, being able to just talk to someone all the time about like this thing that we were going through together because she wasn't she was out but it was same thing she was out but she wasn't like fully embracing herself yet because you're you're in college, you're you're still figuring out your identity, you're figuring out your identity, your whole life,
your whole life, but especially those those formative years in college is you're figuring out what do you want to do for your career? What do you want to what do you want your life to look like? Where do you want to live? And then on top of it, you know, you have sexual identity,
right? So then came the point where, you know, she and I had explored this relationship enough to feel confident and feel comfortable that it was something that we wanted to, frankly, bring into real life because we were operating, you know, purely digitally, we were talking and we FaceTimed you know, we jokingly were like, I guess we should FaceTime so that, you know, we're not catfish each other. We had an ongoing joke for a while,
though. catfishing each other, and then it was like, No, we're gonna FaceTime and we did and, but then it became to the point where I came home on a break, and I wanted her to come visit. And that's when that was my impetus for coming out. It wasn't, it wasn't even, I should just come out it was actually like an event that made it like I had to because I had and I remember having a reckoning of like, do you Why do I just say
that it's my friend. But I couldn't do that, because I was far enough in understanding my own sexuality. And frankly, I was far enough in valuing my relationship with her that I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be like, hey, come visit. But let's both get back in the closet real quick, because I don't want to have to have this conversation.
I remember you having conversations with me about your concern about the long distance relationship? And you didn't say boy or girl, but no, I did really avoided pronouns. But I do remember that you having that conversation and being concerned about this is a long distance relationship. How can it work? I really like this person. We have awesome conversations. And you went right up to that line. Yep. And you tell me that line until you came home.
t was like, it was like being at the edge of a diving board and being like, should I jump? Should I jump? Should I jump and I didn't jump until she had like, booked her flight and was supposed to be there in a week.
So tell me about the jump. How did that feel when you finally sat down with me and and I remember the look on your face. I remember you from my point of view. You were a little you were definitely nervous. You were a little tentative, but I was wondering how did it feel for you to finally to finally say it out loud?
Well, first of all, I was like sick to my stomach because and it's you know, like you said, you and dad and the whole family are supportive. It wasn't about it wasn't about thinking that you were going to you know, not love me anymore. I mean, there's always that small
fear right? Because even in the most loving and supportive families, we hear stories all the time of loving and supporting then I came out and I don't have a relationship and that's just the reality I didn't really fear that with you guys. I knew that that it was going to be okay but when you come out It isn't just coming out to the people around you. It's coming out to yourself.
And so it was really really scary for me and then I you know, I remember it was not poised, I blurted it out, you know, and the funny thing
I remember that too,
Last time we talked about you know, where do you have these conversations, you have them in the car, but I remember you were going out to the car and I changed. So I guess we just have issues with cars being places where we have important conversations
I almost made it to the car.
I remember Well, I basically chased you out the door. Like I, for some reason in that moment, like you were leaving, it was on it was top of mind for me. I've been struggling with it for days. And I was like, I just have to go do this and, and I did, I blurted it out. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was definitely something along the lines of the person I've been seeing. It's a girl, it's a girl. It wasn't like, I need to come out. It was like, No, it was definitely. But it was a
relief. But it wasn't over. It wasn't like I've come out and now we're gonna you're done. Oh, it was. And you know, something I want to say. First of all, I came out to you, I did not come out to dad. And that's ridiculous, because that is the best. Like, I don't know why that was such a struggle for me. But I remember being like you can tell them.
I think I told that in the first thing he did was fine. You to give you a hug.
Yeah, he did. And again, like very fortunate to be very supported and very loved. But for some reason, like, That was too much for me. I just was like, Okay, I told you, I don't have the wherewithal to tell someone else. And actually, this is a really important point, right is much like the talk is actually a series of talks coming out is a series of talks. It's not just a one and done because you have to come out to
everyone. And I remember when my girl, it wasn't the first time that she came out because like she came out to visit, because we were still figuring out, like, How serious is this going to be? But I remember that she ended up moving here for a summer. And at that point, it was like, Okay, well, I have to tell my friends because now she's going to be a constant. And so I came out to you probably months before that. And I was still closeted with my
other friends. And I actually remember, it was almost This is, it was almost like in a where you have to go apologize to everyone, you have to make a list of all the people that you need to go back to, I had to do that with a list of people that I had to come out to, because I was like, Who's gonna know. And so I had to go through and like all my friends, all the people I went to college with. And so it was like, tearing open that wound over and over and over and
over and over again. Because it was like, Okay, well, I've got to text this friend, I've got to call this friend and every single time it's, are they going to be okay with it? Right, right. I remember my one of my best friends at the time. I remember texting her and telling her and she didn't respond for days. And she was a she was my probably my most conservative, most religious friend. And I remember for like two days, I was like, Oh my god, this is
this is it. Yeah, I was like this is it, this is gonna be the person that can't accept it. And like, I'm gonna lose this friend. And when she got ended up getting back to me, it was like, Oh my god, I love you so much like, I support you, oh, sorry, I was like busy. Of course, in that moment, I'm like, almost every single time, you have to come out so many times. And that's really hard.
And so you know, when you have these conversations, the conversations you need to have with your kids, with your loved ones with your family, they need to just make it okay, to come out and to be yourself. Another thing I want to say, because this is something that was really, really hard for me is that even when I came out to you, you kept calling my girlfriend, my friend. And that
was so so difficult for me. So I want to say to people who you know, have young people who have loved ones who have people of any age in their life that come out to you. It's not just about saying I love you, and I accept you. It's also about embracing it, and respecting that. It's not their friend, when I come out to you and tell you I have a girlfriend that is someone I love deeply. That's like if I call dad, your friend, he's not your friend, he is your friend.
But he's so much more than that. And it is really, really, really difficult. When someone goes through the process of coming out and saying, Hey, I like women, hey, I'm not. I'm not straight. When you call the person I love my friend really hurts me
From from my point of view. Sometimes I did that. Because if we were with around other people, I didn't know if you wanted to come out to other people. So it was easier for me to say friend, because that was that was comfortable for me, well
then have that conversation. Right? Right. Don't make that assumption on someone's behalf. And I'm not saying that to you. I'm saying that to anyone whose defense might be well, because that's fair. But have the conversation say thank you for trusting me with this. Do you want to be... Are you ready for me to help
lesson for everyone, right as as as you're hearing, I struggled with this, I still struggle with it and using the right terms and the inclusive language isn't always easy. Like people are using the term partner and they're using the term significant other which is great. But you know, 10 years ago for my generation partner meant it was gay or lesbian. So now I don't know what it means. And I guess that's the point.
Right? Well, that's
absolutely the point. It's more inclusive and personal anecdote not even from my coming out story, but I work in Marketing, I work in branding and we you know, we'll come up with customer personas and we'll come up with stories you know about protect potential customers and I have made it a point to stop gender In a customer persona, so if we're selling a product that's you know, you know, a king size pillow made for two or whatever it's like, we don't have to say that Alex and his
girlfriend, you could say Alex and his partner. And when you say that, it lets everyone be represented, it lets everyone be included. And that's really important. So letting people be represented is really important and don't, if I tell you that I have a girlfriend, that's my girlfriend, don't call her my friend,
lesson learned.
Lesson learned.
So what else do you think would have helped you a little bit more in this whole process of figuring out for now, who you are and who you want to be in this world?
So first, definitely representation, no representation in media, but also just feeling represented and feeling heard, like within the family, there being conversations of other identities that are represented in this world, you know, have conversations that reflect the world as it truly is. Because not everyone is straight? You know, not everyone is cisgender there's, there's a spectrum. So
talk about it. And if you talk about it in a in personalized way, I mean, yes, have the personal conversations if they're available to you, but in our family, we didn't, we don't have any gay people, we have a couple but have the conversations that the world looks more diverse having position that there are more options...
And there are options to point to you know, there's, you know, sex education is a great show on Netflix, I mean, even like shits Creek, I've got a pansexual. And
We're lucky now because there are a lot more, a person who has pansexual pansexual, but um,
thank you for the correction.
But there are a lot more options now for representation. I think there's a much better representation now than there was even when I was going through this, but watch those shows, you know, watch the shows with your kids and talk to them. Be be truthful, be authentic with the representation, don't just say, oh, they're good friends on the show, say, there, there are a couple they're in a
relationship. So representation both in media representation, both in family representation just in talking about how the world really is. So that it's not you don't think that the only options are gay or straight, you don't think the only options just straight, you know that there is a whole spectrum of diversity, in gender in sexual orientation that is available to you.
And we'll get into more of that in the next episode, we'll get into the academic part
Right we'll talk about the Kinsey scale, we'll talk about minority stress, like we'll talk about that. But just even from an anecdotal standpoint, more representation. The other thing is that inclusive language so when you're talking about other relationships, when you're talking about your kids and their love interest, you know, or their just their affection or interest or their their infatuation interest. Don't say to your you know-
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend don't say when you're addressing your nephew
or your niece or whoever. Oh, do you like any girls say, Are there any people that you're interested in? Are you developing feelings for anyone? You know, just keep the gender out of it, keep the sex out of it, let let the person in your life come to you about which person they're attracted to and where they're there.
That's terrific advice. Jana, it really is. And I think it's simple. That's what makes it so easy, right? Because we went when our when our children are really little, we can say, Do you like going to the playground? Do you like the slide or the swing? And then you get older, we start making things more keyed to whatever gender our child is, or or the young people in our lives. And forget to say, to keep it more general? Who are you attracted to you like anybody? In, your classes today.
And perfect example, right? Is How many times have you seen the trope in TV shows and movies and whatever, but also in your personal life of like, the girl sitting around the table, or the boy at the at the table at Thanksgiving? And it's like, so do you have a boyfriend? Like, that happened to me? Do you have a boyfriend? No, I don't I have a girlfriend. But now I feel like I can't tell
you about that. So just leaving it as open ended as possible for the people in your life that you love and you care about to come to you to affirm and confirm their identity instead of assuming it for them, I think is really important. And that's the last thing is his affirmation.
It's not the last thing but in my mind, these are the sort of things is representation inclusivity and then the affirmation of not just we love and support you because I had that I had a family that didn't support and I did, but not just I love and support you but I love and support you and I love and support whatever relationship is healthy and that you feel safe and you feel secure and you feel happy and comfortable. And because I know it seems like that should
already be implied. And I'm sure that's where you and dad were coming from and the family was coming from was we we know that you know that we love and support you and I did know that. But this is one of those instances where being explicit is really, really, really important of we love and support you in everything including who you love, including who you're attracted to, including who you you know, however you lie on the spectrum of identity. Be
specific. Tell your kids when you're having these conversations about sex and sexual orientation, that you love them and support them for whoever they are, and whoever they love and whoever they're attracted to, or not attracted to,
and I'm gonna say it louder for the people in the back. For those of us who find it might might be a difficult conversation, you already love your children, you already support them. So now just be explicit, and have the conversation to say, I love you, whoever you are, whoever you love, whoever you're attracted to. And through all of your figuring out, yes, come to me. Yes, and I can help you figure it out. Because it breaks my heart to know that you did so
much of this alone. And it will always be a little bit sad for me that I couldn't be more there for you.
Well, the thing is, I had the most supportive family in the world. And I still do. And that's why this is such an important point of emphasis is that this was still for me something that I said, but what if this part of me changes, and it didn't, and it didn't. And that's, that's the happy ending is that it didn't end that we're here, and we can talk about it now. But we have such a good relationship. And this was still the thing where I was like, What
if this part of me breaks it. So for the people in your life that you love, give them good representation, tell them that these stories are real, and that these stories exists, and that there is a spectrum of representation, be inclusive, don't make them feel left out, make them feel included, not left out by just using language that lets them be represented that lets them be a part of a bigger community and affirm them, you know, words of affirmation, it's not just a love language, it's it's a
lifestyle of all the people in your life that you affirm them, and that you love them however they are. And that's, that's why this is the myth that coming out can ever be easy. And that's why we're putting that myth to bed today is because even with the best possible situation, and I am so fortunate, because my story of love and support is not the story of so many people in this community. But it was still really, really, really, really hard.
Well, I think we definitely put the myth of coming out is easy to bed and we, we tucked it in really tight. But but for the for the next episode, that we're going to kind of go on a similar line and, and really debunk the myth that your only options are gay or straight. We'll talk about the minority stress model, we'll talk about contact theory, we'll
talk about Kinsey. And we'll get into a little bit more of the academic side of why these conversations are so important, and why these conversations are important to be heard by people outside of the LGBT community. And even outside of people like me, who are parents, anyone who loves people in their lives, who loves young people who loves older people who might be struggling with this, this is the way to begin to support them.
Which reminds me that National Coming Out Day is on October 11. So I definitely had a Facebook or Instagram post a few years ago, just like once I was in that spot of I feel good about this, you know, I just posted a photo. So we love and support any and everyone who chooses to participate. Celebrate however you see fit, but National Coming Out Day,
October 11. And for those of you who would like to share your story, we'd love to hear about your experience of coming out we'd love to hear about the kind of talks that you've had and what would have made your coming out experience easier. As always, you can reach out to us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook at sex ed debunked at gmail, wherever you're comfortable. Thank you so much for listening. This was a really personal episode, but very cathartic. And
Mom, I love you. I know that you feel sometimes like it didn't go perfectly, but I am forever grateful for having a family that loves and supports me as much as you and our family does.
Thank you, sweetie. I love you. And thanks to all of you for listening to this very interesting podcast.
That's another episode of sex ed debunked, we'll talk to you next time.
Take care. Thanks for tuning in for this week's episode of sex ed debunked. During the course of our podcast, we have limited time together, which means that unfortunately, many identities groups and movements may not be represented each week. The field of sexuality and gender orientations, identities and behaviors are changing and growing rapidly, and we remain committed to being as inclusive as possible.
Please remember that all of us, including us are learning in this area and may occasionally slip up. We ask that we all continue to be kind to one another so that we can create a truly inclusive and accepting environment. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out to us at sex ed debunked on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
Sex Ed debunked is produced by trailblaze Media along with myself Shannon curly and Christine curly, from trailblaze media or engineering is handled by Ezra Winters