This is sex ed debunked across generational podcast hosted by mother daughter duo, Christine and Shannon curly, where we talk about all the things you learned
or didn't learn
in sex ed,
and where it all went wrong.
From the abstinence curriculum to the monogamy myth.
In the vast spectrum of rainbow representation.
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and catch you up on everything from proper anatomy to the holistic benefits of a great sex life.
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and follow us at sex ed debunked on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter Hi, and welcome to sex ed debunked across generational podcast about sex positivity, sexual health and The Rolling Stones classic. I can't get no satisfaction.
Yeah, you know, Shannon, that was a pretty iconic song when he came out, especially when Mick Jagger sneer those words. Well, he did. And then he said, I can't get no good girl reaction. It was kind of brown. I
only really know it because of Britney Spears cover of it. So sorry. 90s classic whoops, embarrassing, sorry.
Well, so last semester. In the fall, we referenced that sexual satisfaction is good for our health and well being. So as promised, today, we're going to delve deeper into the actual research studies that support this proposition that sexual well being and overall wellbeing are connected. So today's podcast might sound a little more like a lecture or talk that I would give in front of like my classes, because this subject is
near and dear to my heart. So this subject of sexual satisfaction well being is something I researched during my master's thesis at Rhode Island College. It was part of my comprehensive exams at UConn, and now it's part of my dissertation research too.
So before we talk about why you can't get no satisfaction, no, no, no satisfaction. Let's talk about what sexual satisfaction actually is.
So that is a very, very complicated question. Cool. So we're gonna start with the original Freud. Oh, that guy. So Freud, for all his faults, penis envy. He did emphasize for the first time the significance that sexuality was important to human achievement and to who we are as humans. Freud was the first one who said, it's not really for reproduction and survival. So, for all the things that we don't like about Freud, he was the first one to say, sex is like a drive or like a hunger,
which is appropriate because we mentioned food a lot.
We do. It's not food. It's sports, right? Yeah, but, but what? At that point in time after Freud, what happened is sex was only researched in terms of sexual activity, intercourse and orgasm, mostly because it was easy to ask an answer in terms of and that meant for a very long time, satisfaction equaled orgasm equalled penetration equaled intercourse.
So there's a lot of things wrong with that if you've been paying attention to any of our episodes so far.
It's true. So what the basic research with Kinsey, actually in 1953, we've talked about Kinsey sexual behaviors in the human male and human female.
We talked about the Kinsey scale last semester, and that range of sexual identification.
So they acknowledge that there was differences between how sexual satisfaction may be experienced by men and women, but they didn't bother to research it.
There, like budget cuts, we can include women, sorry,
not that important. As long as reproduction happens.
50% of the current female males are presented, so it's fine. Just move forward.
Yep. And Masters and Johnson did the same thing. The question of why when men and women respond as they do to effective sexual stimulation is not answered in our text. That's our 800 pages of text and
you couldn't find any space in your 800 pages to include someone with a vagina. Okay. Nope. Cool. So what I'm hearing is that sexual satisfaction was measured solely by what satisfied men. Yeah, cool. So please say there's more to the story. Because if we're just looking at men, and we're just looking at heteronormative relationships, then like, what's going on?
Well, yes, yes. Thank goodness. Along came the feminist researcher. Hey. So as you would say, the OG of feminist sexual research was Cher height. And the height report came out in 1976. And what she did is she actually talked to women. Imagine Yes, over 3000 or so were to talk to well, but she she had very what they would call structured interviews with structured questions, over 3000 Women nice and she found out that sexual pleasure For women did not mean intercourse and penetration and
orgasm. Shocking, right? Shocking news. What she found is she said sexual satisfaction was equated with sustaining desire building arousal. And this whole process of the mechanics of female genital arousal and non genital stimulation, all of this stuff led to sexual satisfaction, that it was a huge broad range of sexual activity, and specifically direct clitoral stimulation that would bring a woman to orgasm and sexual
satisfaction. So Thanks goodness to the feminist researchers and shared height, all of a sudden, there was a discussion around a broader spectrum of sexuality,
right. Which reminds us of our myth, I think it was 12 last semester where orgasm should not be the only goal of sex because orgasm is not the only marker of sexual satisfaction.
There you go. So bingo, the second piece of sexual satisfaction, also credited to feminists, researchers and feminist activists. And thanks, thanks, y'all, is that sexual satisfaction equals more than just physical acts?
Interesting. Okay. So then please
explain. So first of all, in the essential Handbook of women's sexuality, where can I get that on my shelf at home. But what they recognize is that women's sexuality is not only an individual and personal expression, it's also embedded in intimacy closeness. It's embedded in identity development over time, and is also influenced by life experience, culture, gender dynamics, power, basically, a whole bunch of other things than what had been researched in the past. Right.
So what we're talking about here is a sexual satisfaction being defined as a broader evaluation of whether an individual is satisfied, not counting, bean counting,
right? bean counting?
Well, that's kind of a pun, but we're not going to
thanks, I hated it. But I think we talk about this a lot on this podcast is that it's a much more holistic experience. And that's where we get into this conversation of sexual satisfaction and well being is that if you're looking at it more holistically than it does include more interpersonal details and life experience and cultural meetings and gender dynamics, and much more than just, you know, insert here.
Yeah, and another thing to keep in mind, too, is the, although these this research about broader definitions of what's sexually satisfying came from, in large part from Feminist Research researchers, it is equally applicable to men and other gender across genders. And this, this broader definition of satisfaction is what we should be using, when we look to see the connection between sexual satisfaction and
well being. So how do you define it in your research?
Well, in my research, I look, I use a subjective definition. What we do in research is we take like a measure that some number of questions that equals sexual satisfaction. So for example, we have questions of like, are you satisfied with your orgasm? Are you satisfied with your level of pleasure? So it's completely completely subjective. We let each individual assess whether or not they're satisfied in their own bodies? And I think that is a more accurate representation. It's like any
other level of satisfaction? Are you satisfied with your weight? Are you satisfied with, you know, your meditation practice? Are you satisfied with your yoga practice? It should be a personal evaluation, right? Not counting.
So in the past, has it been measured more according to like frequency?
Yeah, yeah. So so the beginning of sex research, it was, it was easier to say, how many orgasms Have you have? How many times you have sex? Once a week, twice a week, you know, five times a day, whatever it is, how many times have you had intercourse? So it was all about counting, counting, counting, right. And part of what sexuality research now is trying to do is to go to that subjective assessment of sexual
satisfaction. So when those of you out there, think about, Are you sexually satisfied, think about what makes you satisfied in your body, and in your mind, and as a holistic person not just counting because our culture has made us count, which is kind of dumb.
It's dumb. So this is kind of the first part of our myth, right, that sexual well being and life while being aren't related. And I think if you just kind of look at this thread that we've been talking about, it makes sense that there'd be a bigger conversation about wellbeing when you think about it more than just reaching one sole objective.
Right, right. And I wanted to also just circle back for a second on that question of sexual frequency and sexual accounting. Because I've gotten this question before, like, well, what is sexual frequency mean? Right. And I have said this to my psychology department when I've done talks that let's think about what is sex, right? And so oftentimes you say, in heterosexual sex, how long does sex take? Gotta guess? Seven and a half minutes? Hmm, yep, that's the range between four to 10
minutes long. And so if you have engaged in sex five times a week, seven minutes at a time, are you having more or less sex than the couple who has engaged in a sexual activity and sex section for three hours? Once every two weeks? Who's having more frequent sex?
Blue is the Warmest Color versus every other heteronormative film out there.
Got it? There you go. So there's number of research studies, but I'll point to one by Davidson, who specifically looked at single women and women in relationships found that sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction are not related, especially for women. Interesting, it is. So back to subjective sexual satisfaction. When I do my research, I use what's called a sexual satisfaction scale. And usually what happens in those scales is there's two different pieces of sexual satisfaction. One, how am
I feeling satisfied? In my own body? Like, have I had Am I satisfied with the the pleasure I felt? Am I satisfied with my emotional connection to my own self? And then the other series of questions is, how is sexuality with my partner? So those are called partner focused sexual satisfaction. And really, in some of the research I've done, I just look at the individual's point of view, because I want to acknowledge that sexuality and sexual satisfaction doesn't require a partner relationship.
That's good. For those of us who don't have a partner.
We'll get more into that research in a second don't feel bad.
So I guess we've established our sexual satisfaction definition then. But going back to what our myth is for today, how would you define well being and
well, the well being is defined many, many different ways in the research. So its well being might be defined by life satisfaction, which is a series of questions how you feel about your life in general. well being is also defined as psychological well being, which is a domain of like six different constructs that go towards emotionality, physicality, vitality, all of these aspects of makeups, psychological well being. Some
studies look at happiness. Some studies look at depression and anxiety, and others look at physical symptoms, like how you feel really asking about, have you had a cold? Have you had a fever? Do you have, you know, body aches, yada, yada. So all of those measures are used in various research to measure what well being means. And what does the research say? Well, the research says and what I've done as part of my dissertation research is what's called a review of existing existing
studies. So across more than 25 studies spanning more than 29 countries, spanning age ranges from 18 to 95. Individuals who report higher sexual satisfaction, also have greater life satisfaction, happiness, psychological well being less depression, less anxiety, less physical symptoms, lower cardiovascular risk, and they live longer,
longer. Sweet. And that doesn't matter how sexual satisfaction is defined, right? Like, or as well being is defined, I should say,
right? Well, those different measures of well being there's still a connection between sexual satisfaction and well being. And for women, there's a bonus women bonus rounds. Bonus round for women damn time and women get a bonus around, oh, you're gonna like this one, because we are very sleep challenged, better sleep? Sure. And higher pain tolerance. So for those who play sports and have sex after sport, that's a true thing.
So those are good reasons. Okay. So that's supported that sexual well being and sexual satisfaction are part of overall well being.
And I would also say strongly supported shortly. So because this is this is we're talking about evidence, and this is evidence across probably, you know, if you put all the studies together, 100,000 subjects?
Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good amount of research it is. So let's go back, though, to the question of partnering, because I feel like that would be the biggest question for me, but also, I think a lot of folks would be like, alright, but my own sexual satisfaction, does that still count? Do you need to be in a relationship to have that connection between sexual satisfaction and well being?
No, no, no, emphatically? No. With the caveat that there's not a ton of research on looking at individuals who are not in relationships because there's so much research intertwining relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction, but the research that is out there that have looked at women in both single and enrolled
relationships. And I've looked at men who both single and in relationships have found that as long as an individual reports being highly sexually satisfied, relationship status does not matter. This is kind of the also thing that's really close to my heart. So my research, my thesis research specifically looked at the difference. And did I did a number of, you know, fancy dancy statistical analysis. And the bottom line is relationship status doesn't matter. So there
you go. Interesting. Second question, Does this matter whether your, your sexuality matter, right, so specific research looking at lesbian women and heterosexual women, and guess what they found? I'm sure,
heterosexual men were highly disappointed based on our previous conversation.
Well, actually, what they found was that there's no difference in the connection between sexual satisfaction and well being, depending on the type of sex you enjoy.
Sure. Okay. Yes, that makes sense that the reported levels of sexual satisfaction compared to well being still are consistent. Got Yes,
yes. So, but that's important to recognize, because when we talk about lesbian sex in particular, we're not talking about orgasms for penetration. So this is a broader type of sexual activity that's still connected.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that lesbian women, queer women, women who are in same sex partnerships need more physical connection.
You are not wrong.
Ended hetero normative heterosexual women in hetero normative relationships need more emotional connection?
When they did qualitative interviews
of love when the research supports your common sense? Well, and it
does, and what they did is they talked to women and the women who were in same sex relationships were like, the sex is great, but I wish it was more physical.
Stop asking me if it's good, it's good, just keep going.
And the women in heterosexual relationships said, I really would like more emotional connection and intimacy,
I wish she would stop rolling over and falling asleep right after.
It's true. Yeah. And I also want to mention a few things that I found in my own research about this connection between sexual satisfaction and well being. One in my research study at Rhode Island College, I specifically looked at women who were both in relationships, and we're single, and I surveyed 350 women. So it was a broad spectrum of women. And it was included women who identified as lesbian and bisexual, and also curious and ambiguous sexual
identities. And for all of those women, the connection between sexual satisfaction and well being was, as they say, in the literature robust, which means it's, it's real, and it's not due to chance,
or the dark roast on a light rail.
Taking comparison between women in relationships and women who were single, there was really no difference in the relationship between sexual satisfaction well being which I was like, This is amazing, because that's what I was hoping to find. And specifically, when I did my research, I took out remember before I talked about the definition of sexual satisfaction, well, I specifically took out all of the
partner questions. And I took out the questions and I added questions that were more about self pleasure, because that way, I was able to specifically include single women, because there was questions that pertain to them that weren't any difference. They didn't have to be like, Oh, I don't have a partner. How do I answer this? So using a definition of sexual satisfaction, that did not include partner effects, or how the relationship was was a
partner revealed? In my data, that being single or being in a relationship had no influence on the the connection between satisfaction and well being?
So removing the partner or not removing department, but taking out some of those partners, specific questions? Is that sort of how your research differentiated from what was already out there?
It was exactly because I felt that, you know, it's very frustrating that most of the research is always intertwined with relationships. Yes. Relationships, satisfaction, sexual satisfaction. Yes, they're related. Of course, they're intertwined. But what came with that was this presumption that if you're, if you don't have a relationship that's committed, that's ongoing, you are out a lot in terms of sexual satisfaction and well being
right. And it's like, for so long, I think, you know, women were left out of the conversation. It was just focusing on you know, male pleasure and male objectives and sexual scenarios. And then now we're looking at like single ism and research and that's something I studied a lot actually in my master's program was looking at specifically in media, the way that single ism
is perpetuated. But the idea that you're somehow lesser or you have lesser experiences because you're not partnered, and it's an interesting to think about that in line with this kind of research because it's like, you actually can be just as satisfied on your own as long as you are reporting similar levels of satisfaction, regardless of relationships.
I mean, I would I would, you know, say that Shannon, there's definitely symbolism in the recent research and there has been, but especially in this field, of course, well, because what happens, what do they read when they research single people, they research, hookup sex and casual sex, and some people are more than happy to be more than
happy some of us are sick of dating.
But it's good. Okay, so I guess the message here was to all of you is single pleasure is just as good for your health just as valid. And it's it is a piece of self care, that is something that we should endorse. And you know, harkening back to the sex toy episode, self care is a real thing. And it is good for your well being. And so those of you who striving for relationships or think that you have to be in a relationship, let's just, that's
like a sub myth. Yeah, let's put it to bed that you have to be in a relationship to be sexually satisfied. And for sexual satisfaction, no matter to your well being. Love it, support it here for it. The other piece, I'll say, my research to that I'm looking at now today with my research at UConn is that this connection I'm seeing in college students, cross ages from I was researching, I'm researching now what's called emerging adults 18
to 29. And including men and women and other genders in the research, and I am finding the same exact connections. And specifically when I'm looking at college students, because college students report ridiculously high levels of depression and anxiety, that higher levels of sexual satisfaction are related to lower levels of depression and anxiety.
So we're not encouraging kids to have more sex in college, but if they are, would safely or or do it safely, do it consensually reap the benefits and and
we're not talking about hookup sex or relationships. We're not encouraging that we are encouraging sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction as being connected to well being for folks of all ages, and all orientations and all genders. Whoo,
great connection. Love it. So the bottom line is that good sex however you define it. When women all genders, whether single or in a relationship, whether in a heteronormative or sexual minority. It's good for you
very good for you. And it's supported by the research.
Most importantly, right. So that's our myth is that we've debunked is that sexual well being Isn't life well being
put to bed put it to bed? So obviously.
Alright, thanks for tuning in for another episode of Sex Ed debunked, continue to follow us across social media. Let us know what myths you want us to debunk. Leave us your questions, comments, you can always reach out at sex ed [email protected]. And we'll be back next week to talk more about the exciting world of sex education.
And and keep in mind if you guys want any access to this resources channel, try to post them or feel free to email us at sex ed [email protected]. And I can provide links to all of this research so that you can share it with your friends and family. Bring
it up at the dinner table. Why not starting to talk about in football.
But this is what we're trying to do normalize conversations around sex and calling sex healthy and well being is a way to start having those conversations in a more comfortable space
here. All right, we'll talk to you soon. See you next week.
Thanks for tuning in for this week's episode of Sex Ed debunked. During the course of our podcast, we have limited time together, which means that unfortunately, many identities groups and movements may not be represented each week. The field of sexuality and gender orientations, identities and behaviors are changing growing rapidly, and we remain committed to being as inclusive as possible.
Please remember that all of us, including us are learning in this area and may occasionally slip up. We ask that we all continue to be kind to one another so that we can create a truly inclusive and accepting environment. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out to us at sex ed debunked on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Sex Ed debunked is produced by trailblaze media along with myself Shannon Curley and Christine Curley from trailblaze
media. Our engineering is handled by Ezra winters